Chapter 29 – Mortality Part 1

A Piratical Legacy Chapter 29: Mortality Part 1

The day began like many others in the Buccaneer household: with Ching Shih and the twins hurriedly gobbling down breakfast with their mother, Grace. But at least on this morning, they were not nearly as rushed as they normally were: it was Sunday, which meant no school. "And everybody is coming over for the party tonight?" Spandrell asked excitedly. "Just about," Shih said. "It's not every day that the legacy matriarch gets old and wrinkly."

"Shih!" Grace said sharply, but she chuckled. "I suppose I am going to become somewhat... saggy... aren't I? Ah, well... the plastic surgery machine has been in the family for ages." "You won't even need it, I bet," Shih said. "Plus, that thing can have some nasty side effects. I looked them up a few days ago." "Will you introduce me to everyone who comes?" Spandrell asked plaintively, not wanting to be forgotten in the conversation. "Sometimes it seems like I don't know anybody!" "Just make sure you introduce me to the ladies," Borusa said.

"Oh, you're way too young to be thinking about that sort of thing," Shih said affectionately, reaching across to tousle her younger brother's hair. "Why don't you go make sure none of your ants have starved overnight?" "Oh yeah!" Borusa said excitedly. "That was the best present ever, Shih. Thanks!" "No problemo, kid," Shih grinned. "But you'll have to remember to thank Zing too when he gets here. He picked it out all the way in Paris. I just sent him the money." "Thanks to both of you," Borusa called over his shoulder as he dashed into the bedroom, where his ants in their farm had made considerable inroads. Borusa spent the next several hours happily poring over his insectoid pets.

Spandrell was equally happy with the gift Shih and Zing had picked out for him in celebration of his topping the honour roll. "Going to make Mom's birthday cake for tonight?" Shih teased him as she strolled past the couch where her other younger brother was wholly absorbed in his gourmet cookbook. "Nah, dad went and bought a bunch from a fancy bakery since it's Auntie Gertie's birthday and Andrew's birthday too," Spandrell said, sighing slightly in disappointment. "Besides, I can't fit a whole cake into my E-Z-bake oven." "But you're the best muffin-baker I've ever known," Shih said. "Well, I'm glad you like your gift, bro. Just don't study too hard! Remember to have fun!" "This is fun," Spandrell called after her, but Shih was already logging onto the computer and wasn't paying attention.

"You have no new messages," Shih read, and pursed her lips slightly in disappointment. "Well, Mr. Jim is a busy man... it's report card time and all. Oh well... that doesn't mean I can't write to him again anyway!" Shih and her long-time pen pal and mentor, "Mr. Jim", had an easy friendship that had evolved over their long years of correspondence. Now that Shih was 18 and nearly an adult herself, their camaraderie was evolving into a more adult relationship. While Shih still chattered about her day-to-day life, this was often supplemented with in-depth discussions of topics ranging from the genetic characterization of womrats to the socio-economic structure of villages colonized entirely by one family. The friendship had become one very dear to both Shih and Jim.

"My dear, you look like a billion simoleans," Lee said, kissing up Grace's arm with a Pepe Le Peu-like mien. "Flatterer," Grace said, swooning. "Will you still think so when I'm old and grey, Lee?" "I've always been a fan of silver," Lee said. "Lots of currency based on silver. It's a valuable metal... but not worth half as much as you." "Mo-om, c'mon!" Shih's voice chimed through the open window. "Our daughter awaits, and I should get to work," Lee said, pulling his

wife close for one last, tender kiss. "Have fun today, and I'll be home in plenty of time for the party." "You'd better," Grace said, shaking her fist at him threateningly. "It's already no fair that you don't have your birthday until tomorrow. If you're not watching when I transition, I'll never forgive you." But her voice was filled with laughter as the two of them filed down the hallway and outside--Lee to his waiting helicopter, and Grace to her waiting daughter. Both of them had mellowed a lot with age.

"Are you sure you want to pit yourself against the likes of me?" Grace said with a cocky smile as she hefted the pigskin in her hands. "I was a champion touch football player back in the day." "I need to demonstrate prowess in several different sports to qualify for the athletics scholarship," Shih said as she beckoned for her mother to toss her the football. "I've pretty much got it in the bag, but I like practicing. Football is fun!" "Studious, and a natural-born athlete," Grace said proudly. "And who am I to argue with you earning even more money for your college career? What day do you have to be at the college?"

"Oh, not for a few more weeks," Shih said, catching the ball easily and lobbing it right back at her mother. "The day after my birthday, actually. There are a few more scholarships I want to try for before then--I think I've got a pretty good chance." "Since there are a lot of generous donors, the school does have a lot of scholarships to offer," Grace agreed. "If you need any help with any of them, Shih, just let me know." "Thanks, mom, but I think I've got it covered," Shih said, catching the ball again. With a wicked grin, she lobbed the ball as hard as she could at her mom. "Think fast!" "Ooof!"

Late that afternoon, in the hour or so just before sunset, what felt like the entire population of Pirate Island gathered in the chilly late-fall air for the triple birthday celebration in honour of Grace, Gertie, and Andrew Bigfoot. A few of the simselves were displaying something of an odd fashion quirk, to Grace's eyes--they almost looked like they'd been struck by lightning. But she shrugged off the oddity and leaned forward to blow out her candles. She was followed shortly thereafter by her younger sister, Gertie, and the family's Bigfoot, Andrew.

Gertie was the first to return to the party after getting changed. She'd decided to keep her Grilled-Cheese cultist garb, even though she'd started expanding her tastes into other arenas since completing her lifetime want. "Honestly, Goddess, I don't know what I'd do with myself wearin' regular clothes," she confided in an undertone. I don't think she was expecting an answer. "Well, if anybody can pull off the look, you can," I said. "Though you might want to tighten your top a little. You're... errr... swinging a bit low." Gertie just about jumped out of her skin. "Goddess?!? I thought you

were just a legend!" "Errr... I live just down the street," I said. "Big log cabin, filled with blue people? You can't miss us." "I thought rumors of your divinity had been greatly exaggerated," Gertie shrugged. "The immortality didn't give it away?" "Lots of immortals on Pirate Island," Gertie said. "Aunt Celeste, Uncle Jack, Uncle Bart, my sister Susanna... the Simselves..." "They aren't blue."

Andrew was the next to present himself for the general acclaim of the party guests. To everyone's delight, his thick brown fur had changed to shining silver. I, personally, was favorably impressed, having never seen an elderly Bigfoot before. Andrew assured everyone that his new look was completely normal for his species.

And, last but not least, Grace showed herself to the assembled multitude. The general reaction was one of delighted approval--the matriarch of the Buccaneer family had aged with such grace and poise as befitted her name--and her aspiration. "I don't think you need to use the plastic surgery machine at all," I said decisively. "Why are you spending so much time talking to us these days, Goddess?" Grace asked in response to my comment. "I just... feel like I've neglected your family for too long," I said sheepishly. "That whole affair with the Toyonagas... I'm embarrassed to say I missed the entire thing until it was over." "Something happened with the Toyonagas?" "Well, it's nice to know I'm not the only oblivious one around here."

"Nice face," Herc, who was a long-time friend of Grace's, smirked at Ruby Blue. "What'd you do? Hot tub during a thunderstorm?" "You're a bit of a jerk, Herc, no matter how nice your mom is," Ruby said, shaking a disapproving finger at him. "Although I don't know that she's really nice, after all. Zotz!ing us simselves after we saved her legacy for her. Hmph." "Mom doesn't like it when people meddle," Herc said, wincing in sympathy. He smiled winningly. "Say... want to join me for some coffee and we can make fun of her incompetence together?" "Not really, no," Ruby said. "I'd rather bathe a sheep." "Is that some kind of euphemism?"

"...no." "I can learn to baaa... and I have curly hair." "Just go away now. Please. You're icky." "I do my best," Herc snickered. "Hercules... just looking at your want panel and your memories, I think you need a bit of reining in, too," I said sternly. "Watch it, or you'll be the one with a scorched face." "Yes'm," Herc said grumpily.

"I don't know if I like the fact that I have to watch you all grow old and die while I stay exactly the same," Anna pouted. "You're complaining because you're not getting old?" Grace snickered. She jabbed Andrew in the ribs playfully. "You hear that, Andrew? My sister actually wants to be old and saggy and wrinkly." "Me thinks Ms. Reaper been doing her job too long," Andrew said solemnly; he didn't join in Grace's laughter. "One sees too much death, one maybe wants to die? Or maybe Ms. Reaper just knows there's something better?" "Miles and miles of white sand beaches," Susanna said dreamily. "And I'm not allowed to go there. It makes the residents uncomfortable." She pouted.

"White sand beaches, huh?" Gertie mused to Andrew a few minutes later. "Dying doesn't really sound half that bad, if that's the case." "But it is not living," Andrew said solemnly. Gertie stared at him for a moment, then whooped with laughter. "Andrew, you slay me. You really do." "Andrew is sorry," the Bigfoot said nervously. "Please don't use the Mickles!" "Andrew," Gertie said, shaking her head in exasperation. "Have I ever used Mr. Mickles on anybody that you've seen?" "You used the Mickles to make us friends," Andrew pointed out.

"And was that a bad thing?" "Well... no," Andrew admitted. "And have you seen me use it at all since then?" "No." "So you have nothing to worry about," Gertie said. "I'm thinking of giving it to Shih anyway." Andrew thought about that that. "Me think that would be nice gift. Shih is very prudent."

The party died down and most of the guests wandered home. Lee, however, chose that moment to reappear from the bedroom, where he'd been taking a cat nap. "Did I miss it?" "It's a good thing for you that you caught the transitions or my sister would kill you," Gertie teased. "You slept for four hours! It's almost two in the morning!" "Yikes!" Lee cringed in embarrassment. "I guess next time I'll set an alarm. I must be getting older." "I'll say," Gertie said. "Your birthday is tomo--today, right?" "Indeed," Lee nodded. "I wonder if anybody will give me money for

my birthday." "Brother, when you hit this age all they give you are black balloons and cards with thinly veiled insults," Gertie said. "That stinks." "Tell me about it. Stinks almost as much as the gorgonzola some wise guy brought me for a gift." "Sorry... next time I'll remember to refrigerate it properly. But hey, the stinky stuff is the good stuff! Very expensive!" And with that last retort, Lee headed back to bed.

It was a much smaller group that gathered for his birthday party about fourteen hours later--just the immediate family, and Susanna. "You're not here for a pickup, are you?" Lee asked nervously. "Don't be silly," Anna said disgustedly. "As long as you stay away from the cow plant you'll be fine." "Cow plant? Where?" "In the garden, where it always is," Shih said helpfully. "Just blow out the candles and stop stalling, dad. If mom had to go through it, you can too." "I hope I don't have to wait too long for that facelift..." Lee said to himself as he leaned forward to blow out the candles.

"Go dad!" Zing cried as Lee blew out the candles with a breath that was still powerful, hinting at the strength and vitality his body still contained. It was obvious to all who were watching that Lee was in the prime of health.

And once he'd changed, even Lee had to admit that he didn't need to go to such extreme lengths as plastic surgery. Lee was a very handsome elder. "And this is some top-of-the-line name brand clothing," he added approvingly to himself as he checked out his reflection in the mirror. "Suits you," I added. "Who said that?!?" "Geez, I really need to start meddling more," I said in an aggrieved tone. "Hasn't your wife every told you about the island deities?" "Well... yeah, but I thought that was just local legend," Lee shrugged apologetically. "I LIVE JUST DOWN THE STREET!"

"Well, here I am, still fit as a fiddle," Lee said, pounding on his chest vigorously as he walked into the living room to join Grace and the party guests. "And mighty good-looking, too," Grace said approvingly as she looked her husband up and down. "Silver hair becomes you." "We're a great-looking duo," Lee agreed. He leaned in a bit closer. "Say, how come you never told me that deity of yours was real? She decided to speak with me while I was changing and it just about scared me into an early grave!"

"Well, she's been neglecting us," Grace shrugged. "I've only heard her voice myself a few times. I honestly thought she'd moved on to bigger and better things." "I live just down the road! Would it have killed you to drop by for a cup of coffee occasionally?" I demanded. "The road goes both ways, Goddess," Grace pointed out, though her voice wasn't unkind. I sniffed. "You two are a lost cause. I think I need to start over again with your daughter."

"Did you hear something?" Lee asked, wiggling a finger in his ear. "Just ranting," Grace said. "Pay it no mind... just kiss me, my love."

Perhaps it wasn't too late to start over with the younger crowd. I decided to make the attempt in the morning. "Spandrell?" I said tentatively as Lee's younger alien twin devoured a slice of his dad's birthday cake for breakfast. "Hellooooooo." "I'm too old for imaginary friends," he muttered to himself. "Just pretend you don't hear it, Spandrell. It's just .... the wind! Howling in the eaves! Yeah..." "Your house doesn't have eaves," I pointed out. "But that cake looks good."

"Meh, it's a bit dry. And fondant icing is gross. I could have done better," Spandrell said with the air of a connoisseur. "See? You can hear me!" "Nope, I can't," Spandrell insisted. "You're just a figment of my imagination." "Sheesh," I complained. "I really, really need to start spending more time with this family."

"Mom, how come Spandrell's talking to himself in the kitchen?" Borusa asked. "Oh, drat that deity," Grace complained. "She's meddling again." "Deity?" "You know the blue lady who lives down the street?" Grace asked. "Yeah," Borusa said cautiously. "Well, she's all-powerful and given to asserting her superiority over the residents of the island," Grace said with a nod. "You'd do well to

steer clear of her." "Aww... but Hades is fun!" Borusa complained. "Hades?" "That's her kid," he explained. "He's fun to play with. He's in my class at school." "Actually, that's a good idea," Grace nodded. "Befriend the deity. Good job, Borusa! Maybe I should tell your brother that he's not hearing things, though..."

Ten minutes later, a very disgruntled Spandrell was logged on to the internet googling my deific wonders. "If there's a deity on this island, it should be my friend, not Borusa's," he complained to himself. "Want to try again?" I asked him. "I s'pose," Spandrell said, still clicking away furiously. "Are you a nice deity?" "Well, I've been known to zotz! people from time to time, but they

always deserve it," I said. "That doesn't sound very friendly." "There's a difference between friendly and good," I pointed out. "I'm a good deity, but sometimes I get vengeful." "You're weird," Spandrell said, logging off of the internet. "I should go to bed. Goodnight, strange blue lady." Well, I suppose there are worse things one could be called by a ten-year-old.

"You can't go to bed without giving your father a goodnight kiss," Lee interjected as Spandrell started walking towards the bedroom he shared with his brother and sister. "Aww... kisses are mushy," Spandrell complained, but he bounced eagerly into his father's arms anyway. "Goodnight, squirt," Lee said affectionately. "G'night, dad."

With the excitement of birthdays over and done with for the time being, and no real interest in kindling a friendship with a blue deity who wasn't a blue cheese deity, Gertie found her days starting to get rather boring. A few weeks passed. It was winter, so she couldn't garden. Pierce wasn't speaking to her due to an unfortunate misunderstanding so there was no woohoo forthcoming. And cheese in general had begun to lose its appeal.

"I suppose there's no help for it," she complained to herself as she pulled herself off of the couch and dragged herself downstairs. "Might as well get in shape. I've switched to low-fat cheese and non-dairy alternatives... now it's just a matter of getting off the old weight." With a sigh she began attacking the family's long-neglected punching bag with a vengeance. "Hopefully this won't take too long!"

Gertie was still beating ferociously on the red leather bag when Grace and Lee made the rounds through the boys' bedroom to make sure they really were asleep. "They look so sweet when they're sleeping," she whispered as she reached for Lee's hand. "Hard to believe how big they're getting, isn't it?" "Soon all of our babies will be grown up," Lee sighed. "But you know what that means..."

"More time to devote to our investments?" Grace said excitedly. "I've got a stock portfolio in the bedroom I think you should take a look at," Lee replied with a devilish wink. "Mmm... I love you." "I love you too."

We'll leave the Buccaneer family for a time and visit across the street, where Crassus Toyonaga is nearing the end of his teenaged years. He's a knowledge sim, and when he turned thirteen he drew up a list of things that he had to experience in some way, shape, or form before he went away to college: earn scholarships, learn to play pool, learn to play the piano, beat the hardest map on Extreme SSX3, see a birth (his dog had puppies), find a new constellation, travel somewhere exotic, kiss a girl, and cure his father Sejanus of zombieism. At this point, a few days before he was due to turn eighteen, Crassus had accomplished all but the last three items on his list. His family was due to leave for a trip to Three Lakes in a couple of days, and while he'd researched zombieism extensively, he needed a proper laboratory--which he'd have access to at college. That left only one thing on his to-do list, so he called up Valerie Tse, the local matchmaker. "Okay, Valerie... do your stuff."

After much hemming and hawing, Valerie eventually selected Tananda Thayer as Crassus' best match. Then she left, confident the young pair would soon discover their mutual chemistry--Crassus had actually paid her in cash, unlike some of her customers, and she wanted to do well by him. "Oh, you're so totally wrong," Tananda said with the air of an expert. "Everybody knows that zombieism can't be cured." "And that's why it'd be so awesome if I could prove them all wrong!"

Crassus said gleefully, not noticing Tananda's annoyance at his obvious disregard for facts. "Think about it, Tananda--it would be so wonderful. My dad doesn't complain, but I know he doesn't like being undead... even though he's a knowledge sim." "Wait... your dad's a zombie?" Tananda said, a bit more kindness in her voice. "Oh wow, I didn't know. Of course you want to find a cure... that's so noble. Maybe I could help you?" "That'd be really cool," Crassus said with a grin.

Once the ice was broken, the rest of their date went really well. "Will I see you again soon?" Tananda asked wistfully as she got ready to go home. "Probably not until we get to university," Crassus said regretfully. "My parents and I are going on vacation in a few days, and we won't be back until it's time to leave. Are you going to Le Academie de Tour?" "Of course!" Tananda said. "Then I'll see you there," Crassus said. Shyly, he leaned forward and gently brushed his lips against Tananda's. Both of them swore they could see hearts swirling through the air around them. "I'll email you while I'm gone." "I'd like that."

Meanwhile, in Paris... "You are sure about zis?" "Very sure." "Vell, in zat case," the vampire shrugged.

"Zis might hurt just a bit," she added.

A few seconds later, and it was done. "Bleh," the countess grinned. "BLEH!" Ellen Toyonaga, wife to Sejanus and mother of Crassus, hissed in return. She smiled happily, exposing inch-and-a-half long fangs wickedly. Then, with a loud cackle, she jumped into the air... and disappeared.

"Honey, I'm home," Ellen hissed as she stalked through the door. Sejanus mumbled incoherently, pointing at the clock and signing fluently. You're home early. "Well... I took an extra vacation day," Ellen said, some discomfort evident in her voice. "I had some things to... take care of." Like what? Sejanus' expression was concerned. "Just... look at me, darling," Ellen said softly. "Really look at me."

Sejanus did as his wife commanded and his eyes widened. He knew what the pale skin, the red eyes, and the glistening fangs meant. Why? "For you," Ellen said, with a catch in her throat. "Only for you, my love. So that we have all the time in the world together... so that we can find a cure for your condition if there is one, or be together for always, if there isn't." Sejanus blinked.

Ellen led him upstairs, and as they shared their love for each other once again, they both promised silently that they would never give up searching for a cure.

And once Sejanus had fallen asleep, Ellen got out of bed to take care of the other requirements of being a vampire. She pulled some long-forgotten goth clothes out of the closet, dyed her hair black, and set up a coffin next to the bed she and Sejanus had shared for so long. Her last thought before sunrise was a mental note to switch the family's flight to Three Lakes to an evening one.

Fortunately, it was possible to switch flights. Unfortunately, the camp where they were staying was really rustic. Fortunately, Ellen was well-versed in the art of meditation. Unfortunately, she still gave off a lingering aroma of hot dogs.

While she encouraged Sejanus and Crassus to see the sights, both assured her they were happy to wait until nightfall. Their camp was on a lake, and the fishing was excellent. Plus, it allowed Sejanus and Crassus to spend a lot of quality time together--the vacation was one they would treasure for the rest of their lives, however long that might be.

And really, everything was open at night as well as during the day, so it wasn't like they'd missed out on anything good. They napped during the afternoon and spent the evenings with Ellen. As they all climbed wearily back onto the plane--another red-eye flight, with special service for vampires--they all agreed it had been the best vacation ever.

A short visit with the feline branch of the Buccaneer family tree is now indicated. "Shere Khan all gone," Rakshasi Thayer told her toy rocket ship sadly. "Livin here--he doin it rong. Sad tiger." "It's no time to be a sad tiger," her father, Rajah, declared, swooping into Rakshasi's room and scooping her up into his arms. "Guess what?" "Wha?" "Your favorite brother is here just for today... it's your birthday party!"

"Cake is not lie?" "The cake is not a lie," Rajah laughed. "Although why you had to learn to talk from your older brother... you're going to be impossible to understand when you're older." "F'abbergastin pawents... I doin it rite," Rakshasi giggled, tossing the rocket to the floor. There was a faint boom behind them. "No more gifts from Uncle Jack," Rajah sighed. "Guess I'm painting tomorrow."

"S'ere Khan!" Rakshasi giggled when she realized that her beloved older brother really was there. "O hai kitteh," Shere Khan responded, ruffling Rakshasi's hair before he positioned himself around the cake. "U bloz out kandels nao?" "I has a birfday!"

"Bein' cute... ur doin it right," Shere Khan said approvingly. "Happy birthday, 'Shasi." "Thanks, SK," the little tigress giggled. "Pls to can be stayin awhile?" "I have to fly back tonight," Shere Khan complained. "Midterms--DO NOT WANT!" "That's stinky like Steven's litterbox," Rakshasi said sympathetically. "But you likes skool?" "Meh, is okeh-dokeh," Shere Khan said. "Lernin--Do WANT. Tryin

to find out how to maek baybeez weird--DO WANT. But it's hard." "That's just 'cause you're marrying a boy," Rakshasi said, wrinkling her nose. "Invisible cooties." "Do not want," Shere Khan agreed. "But Zing's cool." "Nifty Zing is nifty. But you could just adopt." "Mad science--thas doin it rong." "I pa'spose."

And in Paris, on the campus of Le Academie de Tour... "Oh, wow... this house is so totally sweet," Toby breathed, gazing at the luxurious structure in awe. "My mom designed it," Hugo said proudly. "Really?" "Really," Hugo nodded. "The original plans had a nursery and stuff, but that can be your room, Toby. On the first floor, so the rest of us don't have to try to fall asleep to the sound of you wooing and hooing."

"Sounds good to me," Toby said. "I call the master bedroom," Zing declared. "Aww... but my mom built it." "Yeah, but I'm the legacy spare," Zing said. "You're just a sparely spare. You can have one of the other bedrooms. The house is way bigger than we need." "True. At least we don't have to share," Hugo agreed.

Once the boys were moved in, Rose Buccaneer, a distant cousin of the boys, was more than happy to call for a taxi and move back home. Her fiancé, Two, had been waiting patiently for her to graduate for what felt like an eternity.

"It's about time," Rose murmured to herself as she grew up. "Wedding and babies... here I come!"

"Okay, so we've got the house to ourselves," Hugo said. "Term papers are still a ways off. Skills were learned even before we started college. So what should we do?" Toby didn't say anything. He just gestured. Zing nodded in agreement. "TOGA!"

Quickly the boys sprang into pre-party mode. Zing dashed outside to make sure the cow plant wasn't hungry--his parents would kill him if he let any of his cousins get eaten. And then... just as the cowplant belched happily...

...the guests started arriving, Lucretia Marius leading the way.

And they kept coming. Zing was breathless with anticipation--this would be his first chance to see Shere Khan since he'd arrived at university.

It...didn't take them long to get re-acquainted. "Whoa! A little warning next time!" This deity started blushing and decided to leave them in privacy without comment, as any such comment would likely be BANNED4LYFE.

Meanwhile, on the front doorstep... "Sweet... a toga party... that means a chance to meet all the new freshmen pledging the house," Ophelia Smith said to herself as she strode confidently up the front steps. "I think this is going to be a fantastic evening."

"Do I know you?" Hugo had changed into his pajamas, not feeling comfortable in the nakedness of a toga. "Not yet, but I wouldn't mind getting to know you better," Ophelia said frankly, gazing at Hugo's chiseled musculature appreciatively. Hugo blushed. "Err... I don't think my... that is, Lainey wouldn't... I mean, we're broken up, but..." "Eww," Ophelia shuddered. "Baggage. Maybe some other time, pretty-boy. When you're not hung up on this 'Lainey' chick. And when I can figure out why your voice seems so familiar." With an airy wave, Ophelia strode past Hugo and into the house.

She was just helping herself to a bag of chips from the refrigerator, and wondering why the hosts even stored their chips there in the first place, when she realized she was being watched. "Do you have a problem?" she demanded, giving Toby an evil look. "Sorry, I just can't help staring," Toby said, flashing his most winning smile at her. "You're the hottest woman I've ever seen." "Well, obviously," Ophelia said. But she didn't mind being flattered, even by someone who set her on edge the way Toby did. "This your place?" "It belongs to my family," Toby nodded.

"I didn't know the Grim Reaper dabbled in real estate," Ophelia smirked. "The Gr-- who said anything about the Grim Reaper?" Toby spluttered. "Simple, party boy," Ophelia said. "I looked you up. It wasn't hard to find out. There aren't a lot of men giving birth in this part of the world. It wasn't hard to connect Toby Biggs with Gavin Biggs, and I can read between the lines as well as anybody."

"So what if my mom's the Grim Reaper?" Toby shrugged. "It just means that I've got a few... special powers. Which I'd be happy to show you." "Tangling with the supernatural has caused me nothing but problems in the past," Ophelia said. Her voice was still haughty, but there was a note of anguish in it, too, barely detectable if you knew to listen for it--which Toby didn't. "I'm not like other freaks," Toby said. "Anyway, it's not like I'm asking you to sleep with me or anything. But I wouldn't mind being friends with you."

"Toby Biggs," Ophelia said, staring at him in disbelief, "I don't believe that for a second, and the reason I don't believe that is because you and I are cut from the same cloth. The only women you're just friends with are gay, and you're secretly hoping that they'll invite you over for a playdate just the same." "Well, since we're being brutally honest with each other..." "I don't think so, Toby. Even if you do have the hottest body I've see this side of Terra Lostundo."

"Well, this definitely looks like the right place," Ian Legacina nodded as he approached the rockin' frat house. "I hope Angie isn't upset that I'm late." He walked around the house to the back yard, since it sounded like that was where most of the party was at. "Ian!"

Angora squealed happily and flung herself at the handsome red-head. "I thought you weren't going to make it!" "Class let out early," Ian said, giving her one of his rare smiles. "Well, I'm so glad you're here," Angora said, swooning dramatically. Ian reacted quickly to catch her. He was used to Angora's theatrics even after only a couple of semesters of dating. "Everyone has been pairing off and I was starting to feel kinda lonely." "Why didn't you just find somebody to cuddle with? Like that guy?" he gestured at Zing. "Why would I do that?" Angora asked, her voice filled with puzzlement that rapidly changed to hurt. "We've been exclusive for months. Do you really think I'd cheat on you? Besides, Zing is gay." "Err.. I knew that," Ian said. "And... I've been hurt before, that's all."

"Oh, Ian," Angora sighed, leaning forward and kissing him gently on the lips. Zing realized he should probably vamoose at this point. "I'd never do anything to hurt you. I'm sorry you were betrayed in the past... but I'm not like that." Ian's heart caught in his throat and he fiddled with his hands nervously. "I want to believe you," he whispered. "Then do," Angora smiled. The kiss this time was longer. "I love you, Ian Legacina." Ian could hardly speak, but he forced the words out in a voice thick with emotion. "I love you too, Angie." And inside, he felt something snap... some bond of pain that had been hindering him for far too long. For the first time since Lisa had betrayed him... Ian felt whole. "Come on, Ian," Angie said, taking his hand in hers. "It's getting late. Walk me home?"

As the last few guests either stumbled home or found a square of floor to sleep on, Hugo Pseudo was finding himself as overcome with emotion as Ian had been earlier in the evening. "Lainey... I don't want us to be broken up anymore," he said slowly. "I've been so angry at you since we broke up and it's eating me up inside. It's turning me into ... well... into a not-nice person. I don't want to be that person." Lainey didn't say anything. She knew better than to interrupt. "But dating you again..." Hugo sighed, taking Lainey's hands into his. "Can we start over? From the beginning? I have to learn to trust you

all over again, but I'm willing to try." "That is more than I deserve, Hugo Pseudo," Lainey said, squeezing Hugo's hands tightly. "It is," Hugo agreed. "But you only get one chance. I love you, but I won't be a doormat." "I will not blow it," Lainey said softly. "Just promise me honesty," Hugo said. "That's all I'm asking for. If you fall for someone else... I'll let you go. But don't lie."

"Well, that was some party," Zing said happily as he lined up a shot on the Greek house pool table. "Everywhere I turned around, I saw people ... errr ... hooking up." "Yeah, everyone except me," Toby complained. "Did you see that, Zing? She totally turned me down!" "Who did?" Zing asked. "That blond chick, Ophelia," Toby said. "How could you not notice her? She's gorgeous! Blond hair... legs that just don't quit... and she's got brains, too." "In case you hadn't noticed, I was seeing SK for the first time in months,"

Zing said. "I was a little busy. In your room, since you weren't needing it." "Okay, that's just not okay," Toby complained. "Dudes just don't disrespect each other’s bedrooms like that." "Yes we do," Zing said. "If your room was busy you wouldn't hesitate to use mine, if you had a pretty girl over." "A man's room is his sanctuary." "Toby." "Okay, you're right. But next time use Hugo's room. Where is he, anyway?"

"I think he's making up with Lainey," Zing said.

"Well, he'd better be using his own room, that's all I'm saying," Toby said. "I can't believe you broke in my bed before I did, Zing! No wonder my mojo deserted me tonight. It was seriously pathetic. Every line I tried, she shot me down." "I can't believe it," Zing said teasingly. "Toby... it sounds like you actually like this woman." "I like all women," Toby said automatically. "Not as much as you like this one," Zing said. "It's like the fact that she shot you down makes you want her even more. I'm totally writing my psych paper on you."

"Ooh, I could keep inviting over girls and you could write about how much I liked them after I got to know them a little better," Toby grinned. "I like this idea." "That'd probably get me expelled," Zing said. "No, I think I'm going to do a study of unrequited passion..." "Dude, you're totally dreaming," Toby said, lining up a shot on the eight-ball. "Anyway, just you watch. She'll be mine by the end of the term." "Whatever you say, Toby." "Shut up."

"Oh, Fuzzbutt," Hugo said happily to the little womrat mascot after he ushered Lainey out of the house at an ungodly hour of the morning. "Everything's going to be just perfect from now on." I certainly hoped he was right.

Sometimes I wondered, though. I especially wondered why some people seemed to be courting trouble. Now that Lucretia Marius was finally at university, she'd eagerly resumed her relationship with Robin. Robin certainly seemed happy enough, even though Lucretia was a true romancer. I decided to leave that pair be--if they were fated, so be it. Besides, I was enjoying the thought of making them move in with the Professor, Lucretia's mom. I was sure much hilarity would ensue.

The other residents of Toyonaga Legacy dorm seemed to find themselves with a lot of time on their hands, but they all soon learned not to play chess with Shere Khan. The tigertastic sim cheated like a fiend, which was surprising, since he was certainly smart enough to win without cheating. "Gah! You did it again!" Snoopy complained when he returned his attention to the board. "That's not where that pawn was!" "Pawned," Shere Khan shrugged. "If I can get you to look just by shouting 'Charlie Brown!' and pointing, you deserve to be cheated on." "Errr..." Snoopy had to concede that one.

Still, he had his own revenge a few minutes later. "Look! A scientist who's discovered the secret of male pregnancy!" Both Snoopy and Shere Khan vowed that the mutual cheating and attempts to catch said cheating helped keep them on top of their games. As for the others, they found the whole thing hilarious... and avoided playing chess with either of them.

And despite their chess rivalry, Shere Khan and Snoopy were actually very close. Snoopy was totally supportive of Shere Khan's attempt to find out the secret of male pregnancy, and Shere Khan was sympathetic to Snoopy's inability to figure out which of the ladies he was dating he really wanted to settle down with.

"Justinian, you're familiar with the paranormal," Shere Khan said one evening while the two of them were studying together in the cafeteria. "What? I suppose so," Justinian shrugged. "As much as anybody." "So tell me... do any of your freaky deaky relatives know anything about male pregnancy?" "You're actually speaking normally for once and this is the subject you choose to talk about?" Justinian yawned. "SK, it's three in the morning. I don't have the energy to talk about stuff like that. Ask Toby--his dad got pregnant." "You can has cookie!" Shere Khan said gleefully. He leaped up from his chair and dashed down the hall to his room. "Givin me idears... ur doin it rite!" "Glad to be of service," Justinian yawned. He packed up his papers and headed back to his dorm.

It was a beautiful fall day as first term drew to a close, and Angora and Toshiko were taking advantage of the fact that they'd finished their midterm assignments. "I wish there was a park near our dorm," Toshiko said as she tossed the softball at her cousin. "We're kind of blocking the path." "That's okay," Angora said. "That just means that everybody who walks in has to go past us." "Aha!" Toshiko burst out laughing. "You... have an ulterior motive, Angora. You're just waiting for Ian to get back from class!"

"So what if I am?" Angora said. "I get to hang out with my best friend at the same time. It's a win-win situation." "Yeah, for you," Toshiko said. "I get to be ditched as soon as his royal handsomeness shows up." "I've never ditched you unless you were actually okay with it," Angora protested. "If you were lying when you said you were, that's your fault." "Nah, I don't mind," Toshiko said. "I'm just a little jealous. I haven't met anyone who makes me go all fluttery like Ian and you."

"Aww, I'm sure the right person is out there for you, Toshiko," Angora said soothingly. "You don't need to be patronizing," Toshiko said. "I'm happy the way I am. It's just that it would be ... nice. You know, to have someone to plan a future with. Somebody who isn't afraid of the beauty of harmonic detonations, for starters." "He'd have to be pretty brave... or just plain crazy," Ian chuckled, coming down the sidewalk towards the dorm.

"Oh, hey Ian," Toshiko said, waving. "How was class?" "Same old, same old," Ian shrugged. "How was band practice?" "Err... I kind of got yelled at," Toshiko said sheepishly. "They didn't like that the piece I suggested we play can set off a harmonic resonance in certain buildings and make them collapse." "You really are crazy," Ian said, but there was fondness in his voice. He'd spent a lot of time around Toshiko since she was Angora's best friend, and they got along really well.

"I'll just leave you two lovebirds alone," Toshiko said, putting the ball in her pocket and walking towards the dorm. "Don't stay out all night, you two!" she called back over her shoulder. "You can hang out with us if you like," Angora said. "We don't have a date planned or anything." "Nah, that's okay," Toshiko said. "But thanks. I've got this new compound I want to try synthesizing in my room. Research shows it has the potential to change the entire current scientific understanding of explosive potential. And it'll make a great substitute for ivory on piano keys."

"I never know whether she's joking when she says stuff like that," Ian complained. "Err..." Angora decided it was safest to change the subject. "Your room's at the opposite end of the dorm anyway. So do you want to go back there and hang out?" "I guess," Ian said with a shrug. "There's not much else to do." "Well, I can think of a few things," Angora said. "And no, I wasn't thinking of that. I just mean... you know all about me and my family and friends, and I know next to nothing about yours."

"I haven't seen them in a long time," Ian said. "Except for Opie, who came with me. But I miss them. Sometimes it's hard... not knowing how they're doing. And my parents are getting old..." he sighed. "Have you ever lost anyone, Angie?" "My grandmother," Angora replied. "When I was a teenager. It was hard." "I hate that people have to die... and leave the ones they love," Ian said fiercely. "I'd die if you... if anything happened to you. Let's go inside, and I'll tell you all about them. You'd like them."

It was well after midnight when Ian finally stopped talking. "Wow," Angora said softly. "I know," Ian said. "It's pretty heavy stuff." "And you've been keeping it bottled up for so long..." "Not exactly healthy," Ian agreed wryly. "But that's part of who I am. I get gloomy, and depressed."

"And I love you, just the same," Angora said. "Imperfections and all--if you'll promise to do the same for me." "Sometimes I worry that I'm building you up too much in my mind," Ian said slowly. "I've done that before... and you know how it ended. So bring on the warts, Angora... I'll love you because of them." "In that case... marry me?" Angora dropped down on one knee. "Wh-what?"

"I mean it, Ian," Angora said. "Just you and me, together. Warts and all." "I think I'd like to say yes," Ian said. "Then say it!" Angora giggled. "Only if you do first," Ian said. "Yes." "Yes."

As Ian embraced her, Angora murmured softly in his ear. "Speaking of warts, I've got one on my shoulder, right there where your nose is..."

A few days later, Toast caught Justinian walking past the dorm. "You've been avoiding me, Justinian," Toast said. "Err?" Justinian gulped. And, in truth, he had been avoiding her... ever since he'd broken off his affair with Lainey, he'd been worried that Toast would find out. "And I know why," Toast said. "Y-you do?"

"I do," Toast replied. "And I must say, Justinian, I thought you knew me better than that." "Umm... are we talking about the same thing?" "I think so," Toast said. "Unless you've got something else on your conscience." "No, nothing on my conscience," Justinian squeaked.

"Well then," Toast said. "I've decided to put your mind at ease. I'm willing to have one baby. But only one, mind you. If it's twins, I reserve the right to do nasty things to you with garden shears." Justinian coughed. "Oh... that. Well, whatever you want, honey." "And I hope you know what a sacrifice this is," Toast continued. "Um... yes?" Apparently that was the right thing to say, as Toast didn't press the matter further, but instead changed the subject to the details of their next party. Justinian exhaled slowly. He hadn't realized he'd been holding his breath. Did this mean he'd gotten away with it? Anyway, he knew one thing... he was never cheating again. He shivered. Garden shears...

"Do you know how cool this is?" Ian said gleefully as he tossed a big handful of leaves in the air. "Back where I'm from, it was stuck in winter for soooo long. My brother Elijah and his wife only just managed to fix everything before I ... left." "I don't know if you should do that, Ian," Toshiko warned him.

"Why not?" Ian asked, falling backwards onto one of the neatly raked piles. "Two reasons," Toshiko said. "First of all, because I buried my new prototype landmine right there--don't worry, it won't activate unless somebody sings 'It's a Small World'--and secondly..." she paused and pointed.

"Because Angora's the one raking them all up, and she's shooting evil looks at you." "Oops," Ian said sheepishly, getting up. "Sorry, Angie." "No worries, Ian," Angie said sweetly. "It's just your warts showing." "Ribbit," Ian smirked. "What's so funny?" Toshiko asked, completely mystified as the other two fell over laughing.

"Private joke," Ian shrugged. "C'mon, Toshiko... help me bag this stuff up?" "I don't know how you can be so enthusiastic about chores," Toshiko grumbled. "Ooh, watch your step. That one's a different kind." "Huh?" "Of landmine. That one's pressure activated."

"Gah!" Ian jumped about six feet sideways. Toshiko burst out laughing. "Gotcha." "You're nuts," Ian grumbled. "The real one's actually right there," she added, pointing to a spot about six inches from his foot.

It was a very nervous Justinian Toyonaga who paced the entry hall of his dorm on a bright, frosty day at the end of fall term. "Okay, so the worst thing that can happen is she'll say no," he told himself. "No, the worst thing that can happen is she'll say yes, and then find out about Lainey, and then concoct a plan for revenge. So the worst thing that can happen is she'll say yes. So I just shouldn't propose. But then she'll know that something is wrong 'cause everyone's getting engaged. So I should propose. but then she might say no!"

At that moment, Toast walked into the dorm. "You wanted to see me?" she asked. "Err," Justinian said. He took a deep breath. "I'msorryIcheatedonyouwithLaineyandIwon'teverdoitagainandwillyoumarrymepleaseandnotkillmewiththegardenshears?" Toast stared at him for a moment as she puzzled that out.

"Oh, sure," she said. "I cheated on you with Toby anyway. So we're even." "Really?" "Well, only because I found out that you cheated on me first," Toast said. "Otherwise I wouldn't have bothered with Toby. He has an awfully high opinion of himself. But if you do it again, I'm siccing Uranium on you."

"So that's a yes?" "That's a yes." "And you're not going to hurt me?" "Not this time." "Sweet!"

While Toast and Justinian celebrated their engagement in their own inimitable fashion, the dorm was handily invaded by the Greek boys. "What the heck are they all doing here?" Lainey asked herself as she watched them. Then she noticed that they were running around like a bunch of idiot chickens with their heads cut off. "Oh. Rushing pledges." She followed them towards the front door. "Hugo Pseudo," she called after them. "Could I have a word with you?" "Bet that's not all she wants," Toby snickered. "Shut up, Toby!" "Fine, fine," Toby shrugged and sauntered into the dorm. "Just remember we're here for," and he looked at a piece of paper, "David Ottomas. Gotta find out if the dude's worthy to join Arravast or not."

"So what's up?" Hugo asked, hugging Lainey in greeting. "You haven't been over to see me in a long time," Lainey said. "You do not protest when I visit you--you seem to look forward to my visits. But you never come here." "Oh, that," Hugo said sheepishly. "Well... it's just that for a long time I couldn't get the image of you telling me you'd cheated out of my head, even after we made up. And you told me here. So whenever I was here, I would remember it again."

"Oh," Lainey said contritely. "But it's okay now," Hugo said. "And I've missed surprising you with a visit and stuff." "I have missed it too," Lainey said. "Will you come inside? It's cold out here, Hugo Pseudo, and my South Pacific blood has not adjusted to... winter."

So the two of them went inside... and Hugo was startled speechless by the sight of Lainey dropping to one knee in front of him. "Woooo! Ball and chain!" Toby yelled as he ran past. "Just say no, dude!" Lainey glared at him, then put him out of her mind. Instead, she focused all of her attention on Hugo.

"Hugo Pseudo," she said hesitantly. "Come on, let's do this thang!" Toby hooted. "Toby! Shut up!" Zing hissed. "Can't you see you're totally killing the moment?" "Oh," Toby blushed. "I thought it was a joke. Umm... I'll just leave now." "That would be nice," Lainey said in a chilly voice.

"Now, as I was saying before we were so rudely interrupted," Lainey said, taking a deep breath, "Hugo Pseudo, I've loved you since we were teenagers. Will you marry me?" "Of course I will, Lainey Barthelet," Hugo said, a catch in his voice. He slipped the ring on his finger, and sheepishly pulled a woman's engagement ring out of his pocket. "Beat me to the punch. I love you, Lainey." And he slid the matching ring onto her finger.

But even as he pulled her close, he couldn't entirely stamp out that one last bit of niggling doubt... To be continued in Part 2... Simselves Ruby Blue... Ah Rubyblue (Goldilocks and the Nine Heirs) Toast... Ephemeral Toast (Apocalypso-A-Go-Go, Ugothlacy) Professor... loolooloo16play, aka ProfessorButters (Squeaky Clean Legacy) Hugo's mom is orikes360 (aka Orikes), writer of the Pseudo Legacy, and both Ian Legacina and Ophelia Smith are imports from her legacy.

Angora is the granddaughter of De/fireflower314/fireflowersims (livejournal), writer of the Morgan and Pierce legacies. Rose is De's daughter. Justinian is the grandson of Denise/avidreader2466, writer of the Puritanical Green Thumb legacy. Crassus is his brother and Ellen is their mother. Shere Khan is the grandson of Blite27/Ben, writer of the Ten Caesars legacy. If I missed anyone, I'm sorry! I'll try to credit you at the end of part 2, which should be out in the next couple of days.