Chapter 10 – A Season of Romance

Welcome, dear readers, to Chapter Ten of A Piratical Legacy. When we last left this lovely family, Queen Ivy (the heiress) had just graduated university. Well, in between when she moved home and I started playing her again, I installed Seasons, so Ivy had to go to the park and try out some of the new features. Here she is catching a fish. "We are impressed with this new Expansion Pack." That makes two ... (three? four?) of us, Ivy.

"We are not amused with your attempt at humour." Geez... already she's talking back to me. This promises to be a loooong chapter. "Perhaps if you had taken fewer pictures of our siblings and cousins it would be a shorter one." Quiet you!

So. Seasons. Ivy. Our pretty heiress moved back home and promptly invited over her newest harem member before she had to settle down to married life with her Count. "We must remind our harem that we still love them." I'm sure that's what it is, Ivy. Mary, meanwhile, got visited by the Garden Club and was promptly accepted for membership. They were especially impressed with the hedges.

"Now Cale, dear, we must ask you to leave. We are getting married to Count Stuart tonight and you are not invited." "Yes'm." "We will call you when we require you again." "Woohoo!"

Whatcha doin', Alan? "I'm helping to cook the wedding supper, goddess! It's going to be really great. The whole family is invited!" Aww... that's sweet. "Yep! Plus, Shannon and I are going to go fishing later." Awww...

The wedding, noticeably sans CC as I had to remove most of it for Seasons to run properly, was delightful. Ivy fortunately hadn't rolled up a fear of getting married and was thus still platinum from her harem activities of the afternoon. "Why would we fear marrying Stuart, goddess? He is a noble and thus worthy of marriage." Ahh... let me guess. If he were otherwise he'd be consigned to your harem? "You're getting good at this, goddess."

As you can see, most of the family did turn up, although the wives are noticeably absent. That's 'cause my computer couldn't handle any more guests :(

"Toni, Eddie, we are glad you came to our wedding." "Anything for you little sis!" *slurp* *snort* *growl* Aren't tigers carnivores, Eddie? "We are also *purrrr* pastryvores, goddess." I see.

Ivy! Would you mind telling me who the father is? Is it Count Stuart? Or Cale? "We aren't certain, goddess." Well, did you woohoo Count Stuart since moving back home? "We are pretty sure we didn't." Bad Ivy. "We want a blond baby."

Fortunately, Count Stuart didn't know anything was amiss. He only wanted to talk about the great honeymoon they'd just had. "We wish to dispense with the talking and get to the woohoo, dear." "Vhat? Oh, right." Trying to convince the Count that the baby is his, Ivy? "Shh... and go away!" Fine. I'll give you two some privacy.

Ahh... daylight. And my first real test of playing a vampire. Better get to your coffin, Count Stuart. "I haff a coffin here?" Well... yeah. Did you really think that I would move you in just to get the Death by Sunlight ghost colour? "Deities haff been known to do such things." Naaah.... you and Ivy are cute together. I'll try to keep you alive, Count Stuart.

While the Count was searching for his new coffin, Ivy got to work on her mother's new garden. "We are as interested in this new expansion pack as you are, goddess." Still, I would have thought that digging in the dirt was beneath a Queen. "We are simply getting in touch with what our serfs must deal with on a daily basis. Still, you do have a point and we are feeling a bit tired. Perhaps we should take a nap..."

Stuart! I thought I told you to get to your coffin! Don't you know that daylight and vampires don't mix? "Vhe feel compelled to get the mail." Coffin! Now!

"Vhe checked the coffin but someone is already using it." IVY! Bad Queen! "We said we were going to go take a nap." Get out of that coffin right now! Your husband needs it! "Why does the Count need the coffin?" Because he's a vampire! "Oh yes. We forgot."

Nice going, Ivy.

"THIS ONE HAS ONLY BEEN MARRIED FOR TEN HOURS AND HE IS DEAD ALREADY?" Not my fault, Grimmy. "IF YOU SAY SO. BUT TO ME, IT SMACKS OF CARELESSNESS."

"We can't shake the feeling that someone is missing." Um, your husband just died, Ivy. "Our Royal Consort is dead? Ah... that must be it." You don't seem terribly broken up over it, Ivy. "We think that perhaps it might be wiser to marry someone who is a little less... fragile." Hrm. You may have a point there. But it still disturbs me that your only reaction is a look of vague confusion.

"Besides, we are hungry."

First baby bump! "At least now we don't have to try to convince Stuart that he could have fathered a blond baby." That's if you even get a blond baby, Ivy. You have dominant black hair. "We admit this might be true, but we can still hope."

Aww... it's my favorite pair again. Whatcha doin', Alan? "Shannon and I are going fishing, goddess." Oooh! Good luck!

"Yes, I think it's a shame that the island has developed such a high level of fashion all centered around counterfeit pearls. Just think how well we'd do on the international design scene if we could start exporting real pearls." "You make a very good point, Alan. I wonder if we'll ever find out who the counterfeit pearl bandit is, anyway. I get the feeling that it's someone close to us..." "Well, that's best left in the hands of the current generation of law enforcement, Shannon. Me, I'm just glad we kept the island as safe as we did. I feel like I can fish in peace." "That we can, Alan. That we can."

Um, you guys realize that there's no fish in your pond, right? "It's not about catching the fish, goddess. It's about the act of fishing." Right, just so's we're clear. Anyway, let's go check up on some of the other households on the Island.

Across the street, in between Shannon and Alan's fishing expeditions, Toni and Publius had a small private wedding. As you can see, Publius felt honoured to be marrying into such a prestigious and noble family. ==== Publius Numantius courtesy of Blite27, writer of the Ten Caesars Legacy

A little while after their marriage, Toni gave birth to baby Hadrian and they somehow made room for him in the small house they shared with Shannon and Elisabeth - who were both thrilled to be grandparents, by the way.

Meanwhile, Anne decided that she needed to do something special to ensure that she never cheated on Marla. Flattered by the attention and consideration that had gone into Anne's sacrifice, Marla decided that what was good enough for her fiancée was good enough for her.

A few days later, they invited the family over and got married in a beautiful fall wedding ceremony. And, by the way, were happy as bugs in rugs. "Especially since our wedding cake is cheesecake!" Good thing I'm not boolpropping you pregnant, then.

The wedding festivities were concluded with grand time of leaf stomping, though Marla wasn't happy that she had to rake up all the leaves only for Mary to jump in them and spread them all on the ground again. "Though the leaves are a very appealing shade of orange... just like grilled cheese."

Meadow and Jack had a private ceremony in the bathroom of their new house. "Even though I'm not really a part of the Legacy, Jack, I feel like I have a duty to uphold such a noble tradition. Bathroom marriages are a huge part of any Legacy." "Meadow, sweetcheeks, I am honoured by the consideration you are giving to my family lineage. Now, let us get married so that I can finally woohoo you the way I have been wanting to since our very first date." Aww... Jack is so romantic.

See, they really did wait! The fancy furnishings, btw, are all from Seasons and I love them. Wish the bed was higher energy, though.

"Jack, dear, your mother has been threatening me with unspeakable acts unless we produce a grandchild for her." "My mother is a very strong woman, my sweet piece of bubblegum, and it would not be wise to cross her. I believe it would be prudent of us to give her a grandchild as then she will be less inclined to try to keelhaul us."

"Being pregnant and stuck at home sucks." Better than being keelhauled, though. "Good point." So what is Jack up to while you're amusing yourself at home all day? "I'm pretty sure he's running a pyramid scheme involving coconuts and ironing boards. Oh, and he changed his aspiration to Fortune since it seemed to fit him better." You know what? The less said about Jack's schemes, the better.

"I'm so glad you stopped by, Ivy! Jack just called - he needs me to get a spare pair of handcuffs to him ASAP. Do you think you could be a dear and drop them off for me?" "We are not a courier service."

"Jack, for the last time I don't need a new ironing board!" "But if you get five of your best friends to invest in our ironing board venture, you will each become shareholders in my new coconut factory, my friend. Do you really think you can walk away from such an amazing opportunity as this?" "Yes." "I am warning you not to dismiss me out of hand. Just because you are a simself does not mean you might not find yourself swimming with the fishes if you cross me, capisce?" Blite27, Ten Caesars Legacy, does not seem impressed by Jack's sales pitch... or his threats.

And in the middle of the afternoon, while raking leaves, Meadow goes into labour. Well, I have heard it said that physical exertion can bring on delivery. And baby girl Autumn is born! Gee, that's really original, Meadow. "It's kind of like a theme, goddess. You know, because my name also evokes images of outdoors and stuff." ... right.

Meanwhile, back at Legacy Manor Ivy seems to have moved on from losing Count Stuart so abruptly. "Professor Blake, have we ever mentioned how well that tuxedo matches your hair?" "Gee, Queen Ivy, I think you did say something of the sort back when you were my student." *giggle* "Well, we wish to say it again because it is true. And we are in need

of a new Royal Consort. Will you marry us?" "What about your harem?" "What harem? We only love you, Professor Blake." "Arr! I can 'ardly watch." That's what you get for raising a Romance sim, Mary. Savvy?

As Ivy was still officially in mourning for Count Stewart, she elected to have a much smaller wedding when she married Professor Blake. "We are afraid that having a big wedding was bad luck, goddess, and don't wish to tempt fate by having a second big wedding. As well, we have read that only the first wedding is allowed to be big and fancy." I'm so happy you've been reading etiquette books, Ivy. "A monarch must be aware of proper etiquette and deportment, goddess." Indeed. Anyway, Ben (Blite27, Ten Caesars Legacy) and Toni were the only witnesses.

Later that evening, Professor Blake dove into the swimming pool as all the making out and woohoo Ivy had insisted on had really raised his body temperature. Unfortunately... "Um, there's no ladder! Can anybody hear me? The ladder's missing!"

"We feel as though something important is happening but we just can't figure out what it is. Also, we wonder why Professor Blake didn't sleep in the Royal Bedroom last night."

"Help!" *glub*

"TWO IN AS MANY DAYS. I HOPE THIS DOESNT BECOME A HABIT." "That makes two of us, Mr. Grim. That makes two of us." "ALAN, IS YOUR DAUGHTER BY ANY CHANCE A SERIAL KILLER?" "I think she's just unlucky, Mr. Grim." "APPARENTLY." No comment.

Although she hadn't really mourned Count Stuart's passing, Ivy was pretty upset about Professor Blake's death. "We can't believe the ladder was broken! How could we have been so careless?" Aww... it's okay, Ivy. Surely now your run of bad luck is over. *sniffle* "We hope so."

"Arr! Goddess, we be afeared that our daughter be cursed like daddy's old ship was." Weeeell... I think that Ivy might just be a trifle unlucky, yes. "And why be that, goddess?" The cruel whims of fate and fortune?

We are pretty sure the baby is coming." Only pretty sure, Ivy? "Well, we've never had a baby before." I'm sure the ... many ... of you will want your privacy during this special moment. "We don't think this is the best time for jokes, goddess." Fine. Hmph.

And it's a boy! Welcome to the world, black-haired (and brown-eyed) baby Bartholomew! We'll call you Bart for short. Bartholomew Roberts was a Welsh pirate who raided shipping off the Americas and West Africa between 1719 and 1722. he was the most successful pirate of the golden age of piracy, capturing far more ships than some of the best-known pirates of this era. He is estimated to have captured overy 470 vessels. He is also known as Black Bart, but this name was never used in his lifetime.

"Here, mother. You take care of it. We need to find a new Royal Consort." "It be a good thing I like babies, aye? C'mon little one, grandma is going to make sure you grow up into a proper pirate, savvy?"

Fall is in full swing, as you can see by the heaped pile of leaves in behind Shannon and Alan. "I think we cast a little too hard that time, Alan." "That we did, Shannon. That we did." Y'know, I love Shannon and Alan to pieces. They actually became best friends autonomously simply by bringing each other home from work every day. I hope that when they go, they die at the same time... 'cause otherwise they're going to miss each other terribly.

"Pao, we have decided that you deserve to be promoted from harem member to Royal Consort." "Really, Queen Ivy? Do you mean it?" "Would we be asking if we didn't? Besides, our son needs a father." "Well, I'll be glad to help any way I can, Queen Ivy." "If you are to be our spouse you may call us Ivy." Why... Ivy... you've never allowed your husband to call you by your name instead of your title before. Why the change?

"We don't want to lose another husband and we are worried that maybe the reason we lost Stuart and Blake is because we didn't pay them enough attention." "Wait... you mean you've been married before, Ivy?" "Our previous husbands met with ... accidents." "I ... see. Umm... can I have a little time to think about this?" "No." *gulp* "Well, okay... I guess I accept."

Ivy, of course, insisted on auditioning Pao all over again before they tied the knot. "Congratulations, Pao. You have passed. Let's get married!" "Don't you want to have a big party or anything, Ivy?" "We have had two wedding parties already and both marriages ended in tragedy. We are trying to change things with this marriage. We don't want you to die, Pao. Prince Bart needs a father."

Alas, the wedding night would be somewhat interrupted by multiple lightning strikes on the trees on the Legacy Manor property. Fortunately, no lives were lost, and the rain put the fire out. However, the boom of the thunder took about five years off of MY life... it was framming loud!

I wandered off to the Boolprop.com forums to see if anyone else had experienced lightning strikes on their property or been scared half to death by the thunder. It seems it's a common complaint.

And who is this cute little tyke? Why, that would be my little sim-baby, Hercules. My husband and I don't have kids yet (and probably won't for a while), but I do want babies eventually so for now I get to practice a little with the Sims. Isn't the toddler-in-leaves animation adorable?

Of course, no sim-kiddo is a toddler forever, and I have plans for Hercules so he did have to grow up. Simselves all crashed the party, including Ephemeral Toast (Apocalypso-A-Go-Go), PikaKyle (Say Goodbye Sims! and several other legacies), Candi (of Uglacy & Prettacy fame), smoothiequeen87 (Marina, writes the Fitzhugh Legacy), and my friend Aerdrene (writes the Godd Legacy).

Aww... very cute. Appropriately, he's curly-haired too, since I have insanely curly hair. I'm not entirely sure the eyebrows work with the skintone, though.

Wheeeee! Leaves! Erm. Ahem. Didn't think anyone was looking. Anyway, you'll note my Simself is pregnant again. That's 'cause I like babies. Especially cute little blue ones.

"Pao, we don't want to have another baby but logic dictates there should be another just in case something happens to Bart. And we are rolling up a want to woohoo..." "Woohoo!" Wow, Ivy, you're practically turning into a Family sim. Where did your harem go? "Shh. Not in front of Pao. We will talk to you about that later, goddess."

But ordinary ones are pretty cool too. It didn't take long for Pao to start bonding with Bart. "Hello little baby, I'm your new daddy Pao!" "Goo!"

"We don't feel well."

Ahh... I see blue splatters. But do you really think that Alan is the father of your baby? "No, Pao is the father of our baby. Our father is merely watching us toss our cookies just off-camera and we are taking a moment to acknowledge his presence while we hurl." I ... see. I'm glad you and your father had the chance to share such a special moment.

Some things never change. "Like, we're totally just stopping by to discharge our Royal Duties, goddess. My sister was like, bummed after her first two husbands died so we stopped by to cheer her up and we found out she was like married again! Which is like totally awesome. Hopefully she won't kill this one."

Aww.... Roux-kitty! I know I neglected you completely in this chapter but I didn't want you to go on to that great Cat Condo in the sky just yet. Grimmy, can't you let her stay a little longer? "IT WILL COST YOU $10,000 IF YOU WANT TO KEEP HER." Ehh... on second thought.

Roux, you were a good kitty. You even put up with being tortured by Jack when you were first brought to the household and you lived to 35 days, which is impressive for a feline. Everyone missed you, and can't wait for you to start haunting. And besides, I won't let them resurrect you.

"Arr! It be me grandbaby's birthday, aye?" Yep, and your kids and your sister stopped by for the party. "Aye, I know. I got th' aspiration boost for a family reunion, savvy?"

And ... it's a toddler! You're kinda... funny-lookin', Bart. "Arr!" Aww... a little pirate already. "Either a piwate like gwamma or a mailman like my daddy!" Bart is a neat, outgoing, active, serious, mean little guy with a personality of 8/7/9/1/1. "Or maybe a mobster like Unca Jack!"

"Yeah, I woohooed your sister last night after we got married." "Welcome to the family, Pao. You must appreciate that you now have some responsibilities to this household, including producing a child with my sister as she needs a spare in case something should happen to Bart. However, I do not need to know the details. If you insist on telling them to me, I will have to insist on recruiting you to my pyramid scheme involving coconuts and ironing boards, and you will not enjoy that. Capisce?" "Did you say pyramid scheme, Jack m'boy?" "Uncle Shannon, I am afraid you misheard me. I said pyramid theme as I was suggesting a decorating style to Pao for Bart's bedroom." "Oh, that's all right then."

"It worked! We are pregnant!" Great, now fill me in on what's going on with your harem. "We are just waiting until after we are done having babies before we expand our harem or call on their services again. We don't want the lineage of this child to be in question, after all." Good call, I guess. But why do you want to cheat on Pao in the first place? "It is not cheating when it is the Queen doing it." You have a bizarre take on things, Ivy. "We are a Romance Sim."

Meanwhile, Pao is taking his duties as daddy very seriously. He taught Bart most of his toddler skills...

... and spent the rest of his time playing with Bart. "Again, daddy! Again!" Aww... and Bart adores Pao. It's so sweet. I'll be really annoyed if he gets mad at Pao and Ivy for being romantic once he's older... I may have to cheat and play with their relationships in SimPE a little just so Bart doesn't hate his daddy later. "I'll never hate daddy, goddess!" Aww.. I never gave Pao's stats when he moved in so here they are now. Pao is a Popularity Sim with the LTW to be a General. His personality is 7/9/2/3/4, so it looks like we won't have any tub pirates for a while as Ivy is also too serious to play in the bathroom.

"Gweat Potty God, I need your wisdom to help me decide if I should be a piwate, a pwince, a mailman, or a mobster." Bart, the Potty God doesn't exist in this Legacy. I'm afraid you're going to have to decide what you want on your own. "But I'm just little!" You have lots of time, then. ==== Potty God copyright Ephemeral Toast.

Meanwhile, at Eddie's and Tosha's house... "I'm so excited, Tosha! Soon we'll find out if our tiger transformation really is genetic!" Yeah, I'm curious as well.

Aww... it appears not. "Still, she's adorable, Eddie. Can we keep her?" "Umm... she's our kid, Tosha. Of course we can keep her." "Oh good! What do you want to name her?" "Hmm... how about Nala? And hey, if she wants to be a tiger too we can always perform horrible genetic experiments on her when she's older." "You make a good point, Eddie."

Of course, Mary insisted on dropping by to hold her newest grandchild. "And are ye going to raise this one to be a proper pirate, Tosha?" "Actually, Eddie and I were thinking of raising her to be a tiger, Mary." "Arr... and why do ye want to be doin' that? She's perfectly fine as she is!" "Well, we are mad scientists, Mary."

And not long after that, Nala had a birthday! Eddie and Tosha immediately set about teaching her everything she'd need to know on the Pirate Isle. "Say, 'Teddy Bear', Nala." "Gwampa Jack!" "That's daddy's little tigress."

"So like, what do you think of Ivy being married so many times and her husband all dying and stuff, Meadow?" "I think it's kinda creepy, Anne." "Like, me too. It's almost like she's cursed or something." For the last time, Ivy isn't cursed! I'm just a really ... bad ... legacy player. "Like, whatever, goddess. You so totally haven't convinced me." I'm convinced that letting Sims talk back was the worst decision I ever made.

Anyway, the reason Anne was over was because it was Autumn's birthday, and most of the family turns up to most of the family birthday parties because I actually like throwing parties. Autumn was of course absolutely adorable - how could she not be with Meadow and Jack as parents? "Daddy, I wanna pway wif the pearls you keep in da box under your bed." "What pearls are you talking about, little schnookums? Daddy is not dealing in counterfeit pearls at all. I do not know what gave you that impression." Uh, Jack... Alan is out fishing with Shannon. And pretty much everyone else on the island knows you're as crooked as a rusty coat hanger. "No, that is not the problem goddess. I just want my little girl to have the very best. It is only real pearls that she will be getting. A couple of the oysters still owe me."

Oh! Looks like Alan was at the party after all! Erm... whatcha doin', Alan? "Not much, goddess. I just got back from the washroom. Did I miss anything?" "Nothing, father. We were just talking with Pao about how tragic it was that we have lost so many husbands already and how we hope we won't lose him too." Ah. That explains why Pao looks rather like a deer caught in headlights, then...

Well? What did you expect? Meadow's a family sim! Although I don't know why she (and every Sim who has gone before her) looks so surprised at the sign of impending baby. "It's not the baby that shocks us all, goddess. It's the atrocious clothing some of us are forced to wear." Okay, I can't exactly fault that reasoning.

In Grilled Cheese Heaven, Marla and Anne decided to adopt a baby because I'm much too lazy to use boolprop and I don't want to use any hacks until they're all updated for Seasons. So this is baby boy Wedge. His name is either a really bad cheese pun or an homage to Star Wars. You can decide which it is. As you can see, Wedge showered Marla regularly with affection. "Mmm... smells a bit like gorgonzola..." Okay, that's just disgusting.

Anyway, the little Wedge of gorgonzola cheese grew up in a shower of orange, yellow, and gold confetti. Oh, and a few other colours, I know. But I was just going to mention the cheesy ones. "Mommies, I don't wike cheese." "Nooooooooo!" It seems children are rebelling at younger and younger ages these days. *sigh*

"Are you sure that your father does not know the extent of my involvement in the less than, how shall I put it, legitimate pearl trade?" "Daddy doesn't know a thing, Jack. I promise." "I am glad to hear that, cousin Toni. It is a huge weight of my chest to know that your father will not be the one to tell my father about my illegal investments. I would hate for anything bad to have to happen to him, since he is a part of the family." "Yeah, whatever. Hey, do you know if Anne and Marla have a bubbleblower?" "Toni, the first step is admitting you have a problem."

*slurp**smooch**slorp* "You know, you can do so much better than that." ==== Aerdrene (the one in the hat) writes the Godd Legacy.

When I deleted my CC, Elphaba ended up with this hair but don't you think she looks absolutely adorable despite her large mouth? "She's not as bad as I thought she would be." That makes two of us, Marina. ===== *Marina, aka smoothiequeen87, writes the Fitzhugh Legacy.

And of course the whole gang is there for the toddler's birthday party. Love the new duds you're sporting, Candi. "You should have seen what I defaulted to after you deleted your CC." I did. And it was bad. So I've spared the readers. "Thanks."

Okay, everyone say it with me... "Awww...." Seriously, Elphaba has turned out CUTE! And so is the little puppy, Spencer, she's playing with. Spencer, by the way, is HER dog. Anyway, it's a good thing Elphaba was inside with her puppy (which was her birthday present from Marina), because the events that followed would have been a bit traumatizing.

You know, guys, it's getting to be a bit stormy out. I don't think it's necessarily a good idea to hang out in the hot tub in a thunderstorm. "Bah, you're just jealous 'cause you can't join us, being pregnant and all." No, really.

See? Look at what happened to poor Professor Butters! I missed the flash with the camera, but that's okay because... well... you know how they say lightning never strikes the same place twice?

Yeah. They were wrong.

Marina immediately rushed over to plead while I watched with bemused detachment. "Please, Mister Grimmy, you have to let her live! It's not faaaaairrrr! She's too young to die! And she hasn't found true love yet!"

Marina then proceeded to defeat Death. However, he was something of a sore loser, as this picture clearly illustrates. "It's okay, I don't really need my spleen anyway, and that extra hole is good for venting when it gets hot out!" Marina, your simself is a very optimistic soul, isn't she.

Anyway, the next day SimMe, SimHubby, and Hercules stopped by for a visit, mostly because I want to marry off Elphaba and Herc eventually.

"Wow, you're really cute Herc, but you need to do something about that those eyebrows." "Yeah, my mom keeps meaning to fix them and then forgetting."

And before long the two of them were fast friends. And I just realized this is the only picture I have of Elphaba in this chapter where you can see her whole face. See? She's growing into that mouth of hers! And the wild hair looks really cute on her. ANYway...

Continuing on our tour through the neighborhood, we see Other-Alan and Celeste hard at work, indoctrinating their four toddlers in the wisdom of the Commodore Bear-Grandpa Jack manifestation. "There once was a pirate named Jack Who sailed a Pearl of Black. He oft will appear In the guise of this bear And give you a small heart attack."

And yes, everyone survived toddlerhood due to much maxmotives and money cheats. In the pink shirt is Sadism. Behind her is William. The other alien is Irony. In the foreground is Blake. I like Irony best. She's not bad looking as far as aliens go.

Umm... Y'know, you'd think they'd learn. Knowledge Sims. Sheesh. "Go away! We have yet to make you pay For inflicting on us Our own school bus Full of kids."

"Listen, lady, for the last time - I HAVE NO IDEA WHO FLAVIUS MARIUS IS!" Ahh... looks like Professor Butters is on the prowl for her one true love. Unfortunately, Rhys Fitzhugh is actually more likely to tell her the wrong answer than the right one because he likes messing with peoples' heads.

Brody Legacina, on the other hand... "What did you say his name was again, Professor?" "Flavius Marius, and I'd appreciate it if you'd let him know I'm looking for him." "Gee, sure thing Professor. You know, you're the first simself who's talked to me all day... I wonder why! Do I smell or something?" Brody is a bit clueless. The reason he's been avoided by simselves is because they're all staring at him and drooling. ==== Brody Legacina appears courtesy of the Pseudo Legacy, by Orikes. Go. Read it now.

"So Mother, we've finally solved the problem of wanting to meet with our harem members even though we are hideously pregnant and don't want to leave the lot!" "Oh? That be so then, aye?" "Yes! We have a spare bedroom... we'll just invite them to move in with us!" "Are ye sure that's the wisest course o' action ye could pursue, love?"

Official Royal Concubine #1: Goopy Custer Ivy woohooed Goopy back in her college days and the memory of that experience had Goopy very eager to join the Royal Household. Goopy is a Knowledge Sim, not that it makes much difference. He's just there to sate Ivy's appetites when Pao is at work. Oh, and change diapers.

Unfortunately, the diaper that may need changing is likely to be his own. Captain Jack is on the prowl tonight. Fortunately, Meadow didn't die.

Looks like Count Stuart is also roaming the Manor grounds. "Bleh! Vhe forgot how much fun it is to bleh people." "Trust me, it's not fun for me!" Liar. You got a positive memory out of the experience, Goopy. "But I peed!" Hehehe.

Not wanting to be outdone by a mere vampire, the founder of the family tree also had to put in his two cents worth.

... and his fifty bucks worth too. Goopy got scared eight times in less than two sim-hours. I just didn't have room for all the pictures. "I HAVE A FEELING THIS IS GOING TO HAPPEN FAIRLY OFTEN THE WAY THE GHOSTS KEEP MULTIPLYING AROUND HERE." "Arr... ye know, I'm really starting to wonder if me daughter's cursed, aye?" Well? Maybe she is. Maybe she isn't. "She's obviously cursed, savvy! And I won't be restin' me weary bones til I knows who is behind it, aye?" Good luck with that.

Aww... bonding with your boy, Ivy? I didn't know you had it in you! (Honestly, Ivy's a pretty good mom. She may not be there for the bottles or the diapers - Pao does that on free will anyway - but she even rolled up a few wants to snuggle Bart. Never seen that from a romance sim before!) "We are full of surprises, goddess. And we like Bart. He reminds us of Count Stuart." But he's Cale's baby. "That may be true, but we were married to Count Stuart a few hours after he was conceived." Y'know, you may wanna not talk about that kind of stuff where Bart can hear. He's likely to be scarred for life.

... see? Although I suppose it does him some good to see his mother in an actual healthy relationship. Who knows what will happen to his cute little evil psyche once he meets the harem.

Since Goopy didn't last very long, Ivy invited in another member of her harem, Anthony Greaves. "Anthony is a Popularity Sim just like our husband, so they ought to get along great." Methinks Ivy is a bit deluded. Methinks I also spy the first hint of snowfall mixed in with that confetti. Unfortunately, it wouldn't stick around very long. Oh, and Zoey Legacina of the Pseudo Legacy.

"Anthony, this is your room. We regret that there is only a single bed, but we'll only be woohooing with you while our Consort is at work, so it doesn't really matter. You should stay in here unless we need you to clean or something. Oh, and this is daddy. Daddy, this is Anthony, our concubine." "Yes, dear. Um, would you like me to leave?"

"Soon, little one... soon you can be born and we can stop neglecting our harem." Trust Ivy to make what should be a sweet and tender moment into something... well, strange and tacky comes to mind.

"Husband, we require your services for woohoo."

...oops. Looks like Anthony overheard something he shouldn't have! "How dare she! She said I was the only one!"

Anthony stormed outside in the middle of winter wearing nothing but his concubine uniform. Isn't it a little too cold for that? "I'm warmed by my righteous indignation and fury!" Y'know, you could just move out and be consigned to a future of kicking over trashcans and stealing newspapers. "No, I must have revenge!" And with that, Anthony began stalking the Buccaneer family, looking for the right moment to get back at Ivy for daring to woohoo with her Royal Consort instead of her Royal Concubine. He moved into the graveyard, figuring that nobody would look for him there - and nobody did. They all just assumed that he'd moved out.

"Pao, we are having a baby!" "Oh gosh! What do you want me to do? Do you need a backrub? A glass of milk? Should I boil water? Do you want tea?" "We want --" "A soft blanket! Commodore Bear? Your mother?"

"We want--!" "A glass of juice? Marshmallows? Some of Jack's counterfeit pearls?" "We want you to shut up and catch!" "Oh."

It's another boy! Meet baby Roche, everyone! Roche Braziliano was a notoriously cruel buccaneer who operated out of Port Royal, Jamaica. He was a privateer in Bahia, Brazil, before moving to Port Royal in 1654. He led a mutiny and adopted the life of a buccaneer, seizing richly-laden Spanish treasure ships. The Spanish eventually caught him and sent him to Spain, but he escaped and resumed his career, buying a new ship off his fellow pirate Francois l'Ollonais and later sailing in company with Sir Henry Morgan, among others. Boy, that's a big (and not necessary beneficent) namesake to live up to, Roche!

"... and then me dad died and I took over the family. And that be the first part o' our family legacy. The End." Mary! You've finished your novel! "Arr!" Too bad the picture of the bestseller memory sucked. But she did get it, folks! That's two in a row, now!

"Venkat, we are no longer pregnant. We were friends in Paris and would like to induct you into our harem now. We will meet you downtown in half an hour if you are interested in joining our harem."

Looks like Venkat accepted! "We have to audition you first before we can formalize the arrangement."

"Yes, we are quite happy with this arrangement. Consider yourself a favoured member of our harem."

Ivy... you took a picture? "We want to decorate the Royal Bedroom with pictures of our lovers." Don't you think Pao will get the wrong idea? "Pao is a bit oblivious. Our husband is a good man and a great father, but he is not the brightest bulb in the package." Oh? I think Pao is adorable and sweet.

"So when are we going to see some real snow, goddess? It has been winter for a day and a half now and we didn't get enough to actually stick." Soon, soon. I'm getting a bit impatient myself!

Eww... Ivy, just when I thought you actually had some vestige of taste. Jerry is pretty much the ugliest Sim in the game. "He shares genetics with Gage Uglacy, and that one is reknowned for his legendary woohoo with simselves." I wouldn't so much call it 'reknowned' as 'notorious'... and disturbing. "We just want to see what the fuss is about."

"Jerry, we want to offer you a lifetime membership in our harem. As soon as an opening is available we want you to move back to the royal manor with us." Ivy! Bad! Although with your luck a lifetime membership isn't likely to be very long. "Neither Anthony nor Pao have died yet." Two out of ... how many ... five, now?

"But we will always have memento of Jerry even if he does die an untimely young death!" Ahh... ever the optimist, I see. But you'd better hurry back home. It's almost time for Bart's birthday!

"Hush, little Roche. Time for your nap. We don't want you crying during your brother's birthday party." You know, my plan was to cast Ivy as the stereotypical bad-mother romance sim. Unfortunately, she's foiling me at every opportunity.

Ah, the party guests have arrived! Anne, Eddie, Tosha, Jack, and Meadow all showed up to party. I think it's a game to see how many pregnant sims we can fit in the living room at once.

"Happy birthday, Bart!"

"I'm a real boy now!" Yup, and quite adorable despite the lack of an upper lip. Tell me, Bart, have you decided what you want to do with your life? "Nah, not yet, goddess. Now if you'll excuse me, I have an appointment."

"Great-grandpa, you and me are going to be best friends. I can feel it. And guess what? I want to be a pirate just like you and grandma were! I can't wait until I'm big and grown up - I'm going to make this piratical family proud." And this is where I leave you. Will Bart carry on the family tradition of piracy? Or will he follow in his mother's tyrannical (and somewhat less than lucky) footsteps? Meanwhile, what will Roche get up to as he gets bigger? All this and more in the next chapter of A Piratical Legacy!

Credits: smoothiequeen87 - Fitzhugh Legacy Candi - Uglacy/Prettacy/Gage's Bachelor Challenge Blite27 - Ten Caesars Legacy Ephemeral Toast - Apocalypso-A-Go-Go! Orikes - Pseudo Legacy (Legacina Family) Aerdrene - Godd Legacy Professor Butters - Squeaky Clean Legacy (a must-read) PikaKyle - Say Goodbye Sims! and a few others -->

"Eventually, I will have my revenge..." You knew she was married to Pao when you moved in, Anthony. "REVENGE!" .... right.