Chapter 29 – Mortality Part 2

A Piratical Legacy Chapter 29: Mortality Part 2

"Arrr! Welcome t' th' sec'nd part o' chapter twenty-nine, mateys!" "Hades, what have I told you about co-opting my dialogue?" I called sternly from the kitchen. "Not to do it without permission," the lad said sullenly. "And what do you have to say to all of the readers of our legacy?" I prompted, still shouting. Shouting pretty loudly, actually, since the

kitchen was on the first floor and Hades was playing Pirates in the second floor bathroom. "Sorry," he said, hanging his head and shuffling his feet. "I'm sure they don't mind," I said graciously. Still yelling. Yes, one can yell graciously. "If they do, I'll rain DOOM down on them," Hades said fiercely.

"We really need to do something about that child," I observed to my husband, Chris, as we had leftover pancakes for supper. Yes, I was still in my pajamas. Yes, the pajamas are teh suck. Blame my innate laziness. "What's wrong with Hades?" Chris asked around a mouthful of syrupy goodness. "He's scary," I said. "So he likes to sing about Doom occasionally," Chris shrugged. "He's a deity. He's allowed to be vengeful." "I don't think having more than one vengeful deity on the island is necessarily a good idea," I said, chewing slowly.

"I think you're just being paranoid." "Yeah? Well I think you should probably call the police and report our cat missing." "We have a cat now?" "Our sim cat." "Zanzibar is missing?" Cue instant panic. "Somehow I don't think I'm the only one who's been oblivious for a while..."

I got dressed and amused our other cat, Nemesis, while Chris went out looking for the missing Zanzibar. Apparently he decided that the swimming pool would be the best place to look, even though I repeatedly assured him that Zanzibar wasn't one of those weird cats that actually likes water. "I was afraid she'd fallen in," he said defensively. "No, Nemesis attacked her again and she ran away," I said. "That wasn't a very nice way for him to treat his mother." "Tell me about it. I think we should give one of them to Athena when she graduates."

"Aww... do we have to?" Chris pouted. "Unless you want them to keep running away," I said. "Good point," he shrugged. "Anyway, somebody's bringing Zanzibar back now." "How on earth do you know that?" I demanded. "Godly powers," he smirked. "Show-off."

"Doom doom doom doom doom doom dooooooom! Doomy doom doom! Doomy doom doom!" Downstairs, Chris opened the door to admit the random walkby who had found Zanzibar wandering the streets of Pirate Island. "Kitty kitty doom!" Hades still scares me. Probably shouldn't have named him after a death god.

"Who's the cutest little kitty in the world? You are! Yes you are! Yes you are!" Sometimes I think that Zanzibar ran away due to being smothered by Chris, but then I remember: Zanzibar is a cat, and all cats demand worship. So it must be Nemesis she disagrees with. In any case, we should probably head on to the legacy update before I get completely sidetracked. Not that you're going to see much of the legacy in this part of the chapter. In chapter twenty-eight, I revealed that the simselves had achieved mortality due to their messing around in my legacy's plotline. Now let's see exactly how they've decided to handle it...

Across the street... "There's no help for it," Jenn Ndainye said, crossing her arms momentarily across her red sweater before folding them on her lap again. "We're going to have to ask the other three to move in with us." "Wait, which three?" PenguinGirl asked, flipping her long hair over her shoulders.

"You know," Ruby said, gesticulating with her hands as she talked, "all those simselves Sarah downloaded to be Sim Spade placeholders. Well, the ones that she didn't kill off and that aren't living in the Sim Spade movie dormitories. Lucky saps... they're still immortal." "So who does that leave?" Pen asked. "Renee, Kiwi, and Sarah's-friend-who-sims-but-not-online-Aerdrene," Jenn said. "Oh, and there are a bunch more simselves moving onto the island."

"More?" Michelle, who had been largely silent, felt compelled to speak up. "But we're running low on Elixir as it is! One of us had better go over there and tell them they need to start fulfilling wants and racking up those aspiration points."

"I think we've got a little time," Ruby said. "Sarah hasn't even created them in CAS yet." "Shouldn't you say something like, 'Sarah hasn't allowed them to step through the inter-dimensional portal yet' instead?" Pen asked. "She makes me have to suck down Elixir for the rest of my life, I break her fourth walls," Ruby said. "Anyway...," Michelle interrupted. "Have any of the others, the ones who married into the legacy family, expressed an interest in saving up Elixir with us?" "Surprisingly, no..."

One such married-in simself, De, actually hadn't been paying all that much attention to the Elixir crisis being experienced by the single simselves. She had more pressing things on her mind. For one thing, she was pregnant. Again. "Twice over a grandmother, and I'm having another baby," she said in a voice that was torn between happiness and disgust. "This is actually kind of ridiculous." Her stomach growled audibly at her and she sighed. She'd barely survived her previous three pregnancies, and she could take a hint. If she didn't want to be in red-plumbbobbed distress, she should eat. Quickly.

Fortunately, she was a Celebrity Chef. She had a lot of time off, and the fridge was stocked with leftovers. De hoped that this pregnancy wouldn't involve her passing out in her food and peeing herself. "Arr! Y'know, that horse food isn't exactly the most filling grub for a wench in a condition such as yours," Captain Jack-Bear observed from the floor, where he'd been left after a random talk-thru attempt half a generation ago. "Oh? What do you recommend?" "Rum!" "It's not exactly healthy for babies in utero," De observed.

"Me mother drank it straight 'er entire confinement," the bear said. If it could have shrugged, it would have. "Well, they didn't know the detrimental effects back then," De said. "Are ye callin' me mother ignorant, love?" "No, I'm just calling you old," De smirked. "Good one, mate." "I do try. Now let me eat or I'll lock you in the toybox." "I don't think I'd deserve that."

"So is this as weird to you as it is to me?" Morgan Buccaneer, De's oldest child, asked when she got home from work a few hours later. "Is what?" De asked. "The fact that you're still young and pregnant, and it's my birthday tonight," Morgan pointed out. "Do you think growing all saggy feels weird? How long do you think it'll be till I die? Do you think I'll start losing my memory? What's senile feel like?" "I doubt you'll go senile," De said dryly. "And yes, it does feel weird. I always kind of assumed I'd be immortal when I first came to this neighborhood--it's a normal part of being a simself. But I never

thought that immortality wouldn't be extended to you and your brother and sister." "Is it because we're only half-simself?" Morgan always asked questions. "I think it's because your father is the one conferring immortality in this case. Each generation of the family has one immortal: your aunt Celeste, your uncle Jack, your dad." "Weird. But I don't mind, since Kelly will get old too," Morgan smiled.

A few hours later, the immediate family had gathered in the small upstairs sitting room to watch Morgan and her beloved wife Kelly blow out their birthday candles.

The general consensus was that they'd Grown Up Well. "C'mon, Kel," Morgan giggled as she followed her wife down the hall. "Wanna go and find out if elder woohoo is as much fun as adult woohoo?" "Race you to the bedroom!"

Toshiko had stopped by the house for a few days between semesters and took the opportunity to catch up with her parents and grandparents, as well as celebrate the party. "Well, how are you liking college?" Kelly asked as they watched TV together. "Your emails don't really go into how it's treating you. You're just full of news about your chemistry and music classes." "Actually, I love it in Paris," Toshiko said. "There's so much more action and adventure there, just in general. There was all this drama in the dorms with people cheating on their boyfriends and girlfriends, and there's been a whole bunch of people getting engaged... it's been

fantastic." "But you're not one of them?" "I just haven't met the right guy," Toshiko shrugged. "There's lots of nice ones there, like Ian and Hugo and my other friends, but none of them make my heart go ker-flumpity. Not everyone meets their One True Love in college, you know." "I do know that," Kelly smiled fondly. "As long as you're happy, Toshiko, I'm happy."

Any further discussion was interrupted by a loud shriek from upstairs. When everyone rushed to see what was the matter, they were confronted by the sight of De bending over her pregnant belly in obvious pain. "Is it time for the baby?" Morgan asked breathlessly. "What. Do. You. Think?" De huffed. "I heard if you twirl, it goes faster," Kelly, always a fountain of knowledge, said helpfully. "Just shut up and let me do this!" De panted.

A few minutes later, she was cradling her infant son in her arms. "All right!" Morgan said excitedly. "That was so cool! What does giving birth feel like anyway?" De chose to ignore her eldest daughter. "What's his name?" Kelly asked, somewhat more sensitively. "Ianto," De said, smiling. "Yes, I think the name Bart and I chose fits him perfectly." "Welcome to the world, brother Ianto," Morgan said, smiling.

"Hello fishie-Ianto," Liv Pseudo said to one of the brightly coloured piscine forms in the large aquarium that was the centrepiece of her family's master bathroom. "I decided to name you after my new cousin, so you're not allowed to die. That would be tragic." Liv was definitely the oddest oddball of the extended Buccaneer family. Nobody else had taken to naming fish after all of the new additions to the family. "No! Bad Borusa! Bad Spandrell! NO NIBBLING TAILS!"

After a few minutes of watching her fish, Liv decided she was bored and headed downstairs, determined to play some video games before all of the guests showed up for her parents' birthday party. She'd no sooner stepped into the family room than she was leaving it and pulling a book off of the bookshelf in the sitting room.

"Do you think we scarred her for life?" Orikes giggled. "Quite possibly," Will grinned. "Well, hurry up... it's six and the guests will be here any minute!"

A short time later, suitably attired against the chilly night wind, Orikes and Will gathered with their guests in the back yard to blow out the candles on their respective birthday cakes. "Woo! Go simself pioneers!" Chris cheered, waving a noisemaker. "You're approaching the final frontier--where no simself has willingly gone before!" "Wow... that's incredibly nerdy," I observed, waving my own noisemaker. "You married me," he smirked. "That's because I like nerdy," I giggled. "Um, hello!" Orikes waved from the centre of the gathering. "Here I go!'

"Not bad, Voice," Zoey Legacina, a creation of Orikes' own legacy, said approvingly as Orikes stepped back from the cake to cheer on Will's birthday celebration. "Zoey!" Orikes said happily. "Boy, am I glad to see you! You're long gone in Terra Lostundo, you know." "And here I'm forever immortal," Zoey said with satisfaction. "Hey, I heard there's a local who likes explosives as much as I do... think you could arrange an introduction?" "Err... actually, I don't think that would be a great idea," Orikes said, cringing a little at the thought of Zoey and Toshiko possibly

collaborating. "Maybe I should just make sure you get a chance to see some of your grandkids..." "I have grandkids here?" "You do," Orikes said. "And they're doing really well. I'll arrange a visit. That way Sarah will have to add them to my contact list." "Sarah?" "This 'verse's Voice." "Ah."

Most of the guests had left, but Hugo decided to stay the night and catch a flight back to Paris in the morning. It was still the beginning of term and he wouldn't miss much. "So, tell me everything," Liv said excitedly, pulling him outside so they couldn't be overheard by their parents. "Did you really forgive Lainey?" "Yeah," Hugo said, smiling slightly at the mention of his fiancée's name. "Actually... I asked her to marry me. But you can't tell mom and dad... I'm going to do that when we go back in the house." "You mean you told me first?" Liv's eyes were shining with

excitement. "Well, Toby and Zing saw it 'cause they kept trying to ruin the moment," Hugo scowled a bit at the memory. "But they promised not to say anything until I could tell mom and dad. And that was just three days ago, so I decided to do it in person. So you're the first person on the Island I've told." "Splendifertastic!" Hugo blinked. "Did you just say 'splendifertastic'?" "Sorry," Liv mumbled. "Been watching this new show..."

After Hugo broke his fantastic news, Orikes and Will got themselves changed into some halfway decent elder clothing and fixed their hair. Will also found he needed glasses, so he added those too. All in all, they both decided, they still made one smokin' hot couple. "Although I suddenly feel the urge for grandbabies," Orikes said. "Oddly enough, so do I," Will scratched his head. "How very strange. Maybe it has something to do with our son getting engaged." "Now that makes me feel older than these glasses or this white hair ever did," Will said.

"Bah, we're still plenty lively," Orikes said. "And once the other simselves see me, they'll realize it's not so bad." "But I doubt they'll give up their Elixir quest." Orikes snorted. "More power to 'em. Maybe we should donate ours?" "We've certainly got enough of it. You and your Dream Dates..." "That's what they all need," Orikes said. "More dates. With Legacy sims. And babies!" "Go stick your head in the Orb," Will said. "I think you've gone Family."

Orikes reset her secondary aspiration back to Knowledge the next morning, just in case that was what had been behind the odd wants, but the wish for Hugo to hurry up and get married persisted. She shrugged and chalked it up to getting old. "And as for you," she said, bending down on creaking knees to give some love to the family dog, Lila, "how did you like seeing your Master again? Not long now till he moves back home with his bride! I bet you're looking forward to it!" "Wuf!" Lila yipped in a shrill voice. Hooray! Master Hugo will be back soon! Do you know how hard it is to Guardian someone when they're halfway across the planet from you?

"You know, it almost seems like she understands you," Will said, getting up from the couch and walking over to give Lila a friendly rub on the tummy. "What makes you think she doesn't?" Orikes demanded. She scratched the puppy's ears and stood up. "I'm telling you, Will, if you'd ever sit down and read Terra Lostundo's history, you'd know there's more to animals than meets the eye. More to supernaturals, too," she added absently. "We've got a few more of those kicking around here," Will said conversationally. "I heard Ellen Toyonaga went and got herself vamped a few weeks back so she wouldn't have to grow old without

her husband." "Well, I'm sure Sarah has everything under control," Orikes said. "Goodness knows I'm not meddling with her plots again unless she wants me to." "Uh-huh." "Really!" "You just want her to give you more grandbabies." "Err..."

A few minutes later, Lila barked to be let outside, so Will let her. The small little dog rushed to the front sidewalk, where a large black-and-white cat sat sedately grooming himself. Okay, Moonshine... what's the word? Did Master Hugo get back to his school safely? The cat sneezed and licked his paw daintily before deigning to reply. Yes, he's fine. But I don't see why I have to play messenger... I have more pressing matters to attend to. You know as well as I do that the wolves are too busy to be bothered with something as mundane as the well-being of my family members, Lila reminded the arrogant puss. Besides, you're being well paid.

Well, there is that, Moonshine yawned, displaying a mouth full of sharp teeth. Any message you'd like sent back to the womrat? Lila considered for a moment. Just tell him he's doing a good job. When this is all said and done, can I eat him? the cat asked. No! Pity. And with that last retort, the cat slinked off down the street.

Inside the house, Liv watched the curious exchange through the window for several minutes before shrugging and heading upstairs to do her homework. She preferred to do that in Hugo's room, though she said it was because he still had all his old notes in his desk and she could copy. She stoutly averred that it had nothing to do with the fact that she missed him like crazy.

And anyway, she was still much too busy dating anyone (of either gender) who caught her fancy--or who the Gypsy, Valerie Tse, brought her. "Oh hey... I know you!" Candice Nott said excitedly after the matchmaker had left. "I dated your cousin!" "Which one?" Liv asked, wrinkling her nose. "Toby," Candice said with a smile. "He's from my 'ometown, Paris."

"You poor thing," Liv said sympathetically. "Oh, 'e was a good date," Candice shrugged. "'e knows 'ow to show a girl a good time." "Well, I don't think talking about your past dates is the best idea of a good time," Liv complained. "Oops," Candice blushed. "Sorry. Let's start over, Liv."

And, in the end, the two of them wound up having a nice afternoon after all. But Liv didn't think she would date Candice again.

On the very same evening that Will and Orikes transitioned to elder, it was time for Will's twin brother, Nick, to grow up. After their party ended, Will and Orikes stopped by the house known affectionately by the family members as "Marie's Cabin" for the private celebration. "Whoa!" Nick yelped as he turned to silver in a burst of confetti. "Better pull out the glasses," Will advised. "When I grew up a few hours ago, I suddenly couldn't see!" "I can see just fine," Nick shrugged, squinting experimentally.

"You mean everyone can finally tell you two apart?" Grace, who had also stopped by for a piece of cake, asked. "Just 'cause we don't look identical anymore..." "...doesn't mean we can't still talk in unison to annoy you," both of them chorused, and then burst out laughing when their eyes met. "Just don't be giving Borusa and Spandrell ideas," Grace said disgustedly.

After Nick transitioned, his husband Green stepped up to his own cake and made a wish. A burst of confetti, and he was done too. All of the senior siblings and their spouses chatted companionably as they sat in Nick and Green's kitchen, but when the clock struck midnight they all departed, leaving Nick and Green home alone with their pets.

Speaking of pets, their dog Rags finally had her puppies. There were three of them: Oliver, Nell, and a third whose name escapes this deity at the moment. They were identical little balls of white fluff who constantly got lost under the drifting piles of snow in Nick and Green's yard.

Once Nick had gone to bed, Marie decided to make an appearance. She was a relatively harmless ghost, and didn't show up all that often. Presumably she was enjoying the white sand beaches of the afterlife with Roche. But she did like to check in from time-to-time, and the aging of her child to elder was certainly a worthy enough cause.

So Marie floated around the cottage for a few hours, scaring the pets and generally lowering the inside temperature enough to have a substantial impact on Nick and Green's monthly heating bill. A few months later, when they finally figured out the cause, Nick was heard to wish aloud that it would be nice if Marie could haunt during the summer ... maybe she'd save them some of their AC costs.

In any case, Marie rounded off her night of haunting by scaring the pee out of Green, which wasn't hard with his elder-sized bladder. Then, chuckling, she vanished into her tombstone and didn't reappear again--at least for that night.

"Lucretia! You came!" Erroneus Marius launched himself at his older sister in a fierce hug as soon as the airport taxi sped away. "Whoa!" Lucretia giggled. "How could I not show up for the birthday of my favorite baby brother?" "I'm not a baby," Erroneus said a bit sullenly, "and I'm your only brother!" "Exactly," Lucretia said. "Wait till you see what I'm getting for my birthday," he grinned. "A Computer Worth $2,000!" "Oh, you poor thing," Lucretia said. "You're going to be a Fortune sim, aren't you."

"Lu, I already am a Fortune sim," Erroneus said solemnly. "Hey, how many scholarships do you think I can get?" "Aren't you a little young to be worrying about university?" Lucretia blinked. "It's never too early to start planning for one's future," Erroneus said. "Actually, I have to talk to dad about that tonight--I want to start depositing money into a guaranteed investment portfolio." "You're weird," Lucretia said. "But I love you. Happy birthday, kid." "Thanks!"

As Erroneus dashed inside to count the contents of his piggy-bank and contemplate whether he could afford to buy a new computer game with his birthday money, Lucretia decided to check out her old bedroom. "I thought I'd find you here," Flavius said. "Feeling a bit nostalgic, are you?" "Well, maybe a little," Lucretia admitted. "Dorm rooms are gross, and it sucks trying to woohoo on one of those narrow little beds." "There are some things a father never wants to know about his

daughter," Flavius said, sticking his fingers in his ears. "Just make sure you bring whoever you date by the house if you get the chance. I'm always eager to Meet Someone New." "Some things never change." "Nope. And say, have you ever considered dressing more like a Roman?" "...no, not really." "Well, I tried."

As the hour neared sunset, the family gathered in the Roman-themed party room. Erroneus fairly quivered in anticipation as he stared at the brightly glowing candles atop his birthday cake. "Okay everybody," he said. "I'm blowing them out now!"

"Woohoo, go Erroneus!" the many invited guests--mostly friends of Flavius--cried, waving their noisemakers.

"It's uncanny," was the Professor's first reaction once she could actually speak. "He looks... normal." "A chip off the old block," Flavius said. "But I bet it will be confusing when he's older." "That shirt looks like something Cassius would wear, though," the Professor said disapprovingly. "Where do clothing designers get their ideas, anyway? I mean, his shirt has a picture of a ceiling fan with lingerie hanging from it!" "I think they get their ideas from people like Cassius," Flavius said. "Hmph. Figures."

That night, Lucretia decided to spend the night so Erroneus wandered across the hall to his sister's room before hitting the hay himself. To his surprise, Lucretia wasn't there... but one of the party guests hadn't actually managed to go home yet. "Ummm... Sunny? I think the party's over," Erroneus said awkwardly. "Really?" Sunny Goodytwoshoes blushed. "Oops. I guess I just lost track of time when I started smustling with your cats in here. Your sister has a great CD collection."

From that point on, Erroneus threw himself into his schoolwork. The Professor often found herself remarking to Flavius that the similarities between Fortune and Knowledge sims were actually quite uncanny. "All he wants to do is earn scholarships," she said. "And that means skilling his brains out. Not much difference at all, if you ask me."

But she did caution her son to be careful not to overdo it. "Oh, it's okay," Erroneus assured her. "I'm always platinum these days, so there's no risk of the hat or the Energizer backfiring." "Still, you should sleep at least occasionally," the Professor said. "Sleeping is for people who aren't go-getters, and who get stuck in dead-end jobs," Erroneus said. "Are you saying I'm working in a dead-end job?" the Professor asked dangerously. Erroneus gulped. "Err... let me rephrase that." "Good thinking."

The Professor headed into the master bedroom and spent a few minutes playing with her youngest cat, Raiden Beaker (son of Loki and Circe Beaker). "Tell me, Raiden," she said, "do teenagers ever outgrow that whole superiority complex?" "Mrow."

In Paris... "Mom... dad... this is certainly a surprise," Peregrin Avidreader said when he opened the door and found his parents standing behind it. "Not that it's not lovely to see you," his wife, Jersey, added. "But what brings you to Paris?" "We're moving in with you," Denise Avidreader said brightly, after exchanging a glance with her husband Aspen. "What?!?"

"Well, you know I'm a simself," Denise said. Her son and daughter-in-law nodded. "Well, simselves have been stripped of immortality," Denise shrugged. "We figured, if we have to grow old, we might as well grow old with our grandbabies and great-grandbabies." "But this house... it's way too small for the four of us, plus Snoopy and whichever girl he ends up marrying, plus any kids they might have!" Peregrin protested. "It's okay," Aspen said. "We brought our lifesavings. We can help

you remodel." "Well, that covers that part of it," Jersey said, "but what about the fact that we're older than you, now?" "Only slightly," Aspen said. "Denise and I ran out of Elixir quite a while ago. It should be our birthday pretty soon." "Well... I suppose there isn't much other choice," Peregrin said. "And anyway, it will be nice having you near. But there will have to be some ground rules." "Whatever you say, landlord!"

"N-n-n-now I s-s-see wh-why th-they d-d-d-d-didn't w-want us using th-the h-h-hottub d-during snowstorms," Aspen chattered. "M-m-maybe w-we'd b-b-b-b-est head ins-s-side," Denise agreed.

And back on Pirate Island... The house was huge, and the five simselves walking up to the front door were properly appreciative. "This place is gorgeous!"

"Sarah's awfully generous," Doctor SimNerd, or Doc Nerd, or just plain Doc, said as she led the way into the palatial manor. "This place is spiffy," Jonny Jwoodsbuzz agreed. "I call dibs on the master bedroom!" GintasticNecat, or Gin, said as she navigated the front steps. "Why do you get the best room?" Lea Barsoom (tlhs0) complained as she followed on Gin's heels. "I think you guys are getting a big ahead of yourselves," Stacie Whedonberry called warningly from the foot of the stairs.

"Why?" Jonny asked. "Sarah told us to make ourselves right at home." "Yeah," Stacie said, "and that's what worries me. Simselves are hardly ever nice like that. There's got to be a catch." "Stacie, dear haddock, I think you're being a trifle paranoid," Gin said. "Have you even read my legacy? Of course I'm paranoid!" "Nah, Sarah's not eeevil," Doc said.

The five of them spent some time exploring their new digs before settling in the living room to chat for a few minutes. "So, I think we should split the chores evenly," Lea said. "Why not just hire a maid?" Jonny asked. "Because that costs money, and we don't have any," Lea said. "Motherloded just enough to buy this place." She turned to Doc. "Are you sure Sarah's not eeevil?"

I decided that would be the perfect time to make my entrance. Being a deity has its perks. "Did you guys hear something?"

I strode into the living room and picked the only free chair, which was extremely comfy. "Welcome to Pirate Island," I said, spreading my arms wide magnanimously.

"Why do I suddenly have an ominous feeling?" Gin asked nobody in particular. "Eeevil," Jonny said.

"Now, there's no proof that she's eeevil," Lea said. "But it is possible, I suppose." "Likely, even, given her stylish entrance," Stacie added. "Um, guys... I'm still here," I said. "Anyway, I don't think I'm eeevil. Just mildly vengeful."

"That could be eeevil," Doc said. "By some definitions of the word. But it's not Cypress or even Larch-esque eeevil." "So why'd you drop by ahead of the Welcome Wagon?" Gin asked. "That'd be because there are a few things different about my world compared to some of the other Legacy universes," I said. "The main one being... recently, a bunch of simselves meddled with my plot. The end result was, they sucked themselves into the time stream--they're mortal. And well, to be fair..."

"You're making us mortal?" Jonny blinked. "See, I told you we should be paranoid," Stacie said. "She really is eeevil." "Oh, it's not that bad," I said. "It just means you have to work for your Aspiration points and your Elixir instead of having me cheat it for you."

"I think that qualifies as the Diet Coke of Eeevil," Doc said. "Okay, we agree to your terms." There were a few choked protestations at her statement, but she stared at everyone levelly. "What? It's not like we have that much choice. We're here now. We implicitly consented by making our simselves available for download. It's part of the contract."

"Good point," Lea said. "I suppose we should make the best of it." She turned to face me. "Anything else we should know?" "Yeah," I said. "Stay away from Toby. He'll just break your heart in the end." "We do read your legacy," Lea pointed out. "Anyway, I think we can handle things from here."

"I can see when I'm not welcome," I joked. "I'll just leave you all to settle down and start filling those wants. Oh... and you might want to find jobs. The bank of Motherlode is closed." Amid all the gasps of outrage, I vanished. And I couldn't help but laugh to myself. They'd be fine.

"Okay, I think you should look for a job first, Jonny," Stacie said. "Me? Why me?" "Oh, don't be so offended," Lea said. "We're all going to find jobs, at least until we've got lots of money saved up. We just need to be able to pay the maid and the bills, and it shouldn't take us long to save up enough for that." "Well, I guess," Jonny said. "But you'd all better be signing up right behind me." "Don't worry," Lea said. "We have our priorities in order."

Priorities indeed. "Here fishie fishie!" Gin said, waving at the brightly coloured animals. "Oh, you're all so shrew." "What does that mean, anyway?" Lea asked. "If I have to tell you, you won't understand."

Everyone else hurried to find jobs that would fulfill their LTWs... or at least something in their want panel, though. ... I said, Everyone else hurried to find jobs. Doc coughed, put Larch back in his cage, and sat down in front of the computer.

"Well, I'd say our first few days on Pirate Island have been moderately successful," Stacie said a few days later as those who were home from work sat down to lunch. "Yeah, but we have to work," Gin complained. "Oh, it's not so bad," Jonny shrugged. "It's a good place to meet people. And there are a lot of good-looking people on Pirate Island." "All we meet are each other," Stacie said. "Four of us rolled wants for the Adventurer career track--everyone but you. So all we do is go

to work together, wave at each other, and then come home together. Meeting people--we're doin it rong." "Well, do you want to go home? I suppose we could go on strike," Gin said. "Nah... this place might have its own weird rules, but it definitely seems safer than Strangetown," Stacie said. "Famous last words," Jonny said.

He may have had something there--when Gin was making supper that evening, she managed to set the kitchen on fire. "Call the fire department!" Lea shrieked. "Hurry up! It's spreading!"

"Thanks to the doofus with the bear standing in front of the stove, I can't get to the fire!" Neil Letourneau complained when he finally arrived. By that time the adjoining counter was engulfed as well. "Oh, let me handle this!" Lea cried, and pulled out a fire extinguisher. "Quickly!" Gin said. "It's spreading!" "I don't know what you're all panicking about," Holstein said. "I only feel a mildly pleasant tickling sensation." "Move it, old dude!"

Meanwhile... A long-anticipated wedding was finally taking place in the back yard of a pretty little house in a different area of Pirate Island. Rose Buccaneer, daughter of Bart and De, fifth generation Greek house placeholder, was finally free to marry her very patient Two Curtin, a distant descendant of Celeste's branch of the family tree. All of the Greek house alumni made sure to visit, as well as both of their families.

"You know, this would have been our last one if we hadn't had Ianto," De said. "Oh, are you telling me that you're not fighting every urge in your body to go running home to him at this moment?" Bart smiled. "Oh, you know I dote on him," De said. "But it would be nice to actually be retired. Endless woohoo without having to worry about scarring someone for life." "Yeah, but you can only say that since we moved out and in with Celeste, Jack, their spouses, and Susanna," Bart pointed out. "If we hadn't, there'd still be Morgan and Kelly to scar." "Point," De's lips quirked upwards in a grin. "Anyway, Rose is a beautiful bride, and she and Two are very happy. And I think we'll be getting more grandbabies soon!"

The party was a great one... the first wedding there'd been on Pirate Island in nearly a generation. They all partied till the cows came home. And nobody really minded Toast and Justinian making out in the middle of the dance floor. They just figured it was a good omen, since this was a wedding, after all.

A few days later, in Paris... "Now, Toby, when you asked me out I thought you meant this was a study date," the redheaded co-ed said, scolding him. "Of course it's studying," Toby said. "Studying anatomy!" "Seriously?" the girl, whose name was something starting with a 'K', blinked. "You actually thought that line would work?" "It has before," Toby shrugged. With everyone but Ophelia, his subconscious continued. "Well, it's not working this time," the girl said, putting her hands on her hips and glaring at him.

"In fact," she continued, glaring at him, "I'm downright offended that you would think I'm that kind of girl." "Whoa, no need to take any offense," Toby said, putting his hands up defensively. "I wouldn't have asked you over here if I didn't think you were hot." "Pretty words can't smooth over the insult," the girl sniffed, crossing her arms over her chest. "You think I'm some kind of... of... of common floozy!" And with a sniff and a stamp of her feet, she whirled around to leave. Then she stopped. She sniffed the air cautiously. "Do you smell... cake?"

When he went outside to rake the leaves later that afternoon, Toby was forced to conclude that girl-whose-name-starts-with-K probably wasn't the brightest lightbulb on the Christmas tree.

That evening found Zing poring over books in the study upstairs. As his eyes travelled over one particularly battered-looking volume, he found his thoughts drifting towards Shere Khan, as they often did. ...and while naysayers continue to insist that male pregnancy is, in fact, impossible without the intervention of alien technology, I am confident that my invention, the... Suddenly, the meaning of the words on the page hit home. "Holy carp!" Zing squeaked. He continued reading for several more lines before very carefully putting the book back on the shelf. Then he raced downstairs.

He grabbed the phone off of the base and started dialing as fast as he could. "Shere Khan? It's me. You need to get over here right now!"

"O hai!!1!" Shere Khan said, smiling and taking Zing's hands in his own. "Is can be explaining time nao? What's so important that you have visible pajamas?" "You have to see this," Zing said, keeping hold of one of SK's hands and leading him upstairs. "I can hardly believe it..."

"Epic Wow," Shere Khan said several minutes later when he'd read the book silently for several minutes. "Do you know what this is?" "Yeah," Zing said. "It's Edward Buccaneer's lab notebook. And he discovered the secret of alien-male pregnancy." "Well, he theorized some things, anyway," Shere Khan said. "But this is amazing, Zing! No more invisible theories! Visible theories! It can be baybeez tiem soon! Genius Eddie was genius--he figured it all out! Now we just have to test it!"

"Almost all of his journals and published articles are here too," Zing said. "This is terrific! And just think of it... since the real find is in the journals, and he never published those... we can patent it. And get rich!" "Zing, we already has lotsa cheezburger," Shere Khan pointed out. "And I don't think we should charge money for technology like this. This is something that can benefit all of simkind... we no can eated all the cookies ourselves."

The two read in silence for several minutes while Zing contemplated the idea of being entirely philanthropic with their discovery, but in the end he nodded agreement. "My car dealership should keep us rolling in cash anyway." "Zing, we have to find some volunteers to test this technology on," Shere Khan added. "My lack of ethics, let me sho u dem. We needz aminal testing fud. Erm, guinea pig." "I suppose," Zing said. "But I don't mind being the test subject." "No riskingz u," Shere Khan shook his head. "Irrelevant person is irrelevant. Irreplaceable Zing is irreplaceable. So dere."

"Besides," he added in a relatively normal tone of voice. "I can't exactly operate on myself, and I kind of want to get pregnant. It's a knowledge sim thing. So I have to do it on someone else first, so I can teach you how to do it."

"Anyway, he's pretty sure of the idea," Zing said to Toby later that day. He was so excited, he still hadn't changed out of his pajamas. "So we were wondering if we could run a few scans on you to see if you've got a natural one of these 'andro-wombs'." "Why would I have one?" Toby asked. He looked a little creeped out by the idea. "Two reasons," Zing said. "First of all, you've got alien blood from your grandmother Irony. And secondly, when your parents had you it was your dad who got pregnant." "You're getting kind of creepy," Toby said, giving Coxinga a sideways look. "I think some of your boyfriend's Knowledge aspiration is rubbing off on you. But sure, you can scan me, as long as you promise never to tell any of my girlfriends the result of the scan."

That afternoon, during yet another of the Greek house's infamous toga parties, one of Toby's non-girlfriends decided to stop by. Despite herself, Ophelia had managed to become pretty good friends with Toby. But she still held him at arm's length. "Eventually you're going to give in," Toby said knowingly as he paused to catch his breath. Pillow fights could be tiring, and this wasn't the sort of pillow game he was used to playing. "Tell you what, if I can get you to beg for mercy from my mad pillow skillz, you owe me a kiss." "Oh, is that the game you're playing?" Ophelia chortled. "What do I get if I win?" "Whatever you want," Toby winked. "You're on," Ophelia said, flashing her teeth at him. "Prepare to go down, Biggs."

Instead of smacking him immediately, Ophelia lowered her pillow, put her hand on her hip, and deliberately licked her lips. Toby's eyes glazed over, and she took the opportunity--faster than lightning, she laid him flat. "Ouch!" Toby protested. "I thought we agreed Syndicate pillows were off-limits!" "Sorry, dimples... this is just a regular old pillow," Ophelia said sweetly. "And I believe a protest like that constitutes a forfeit. Now you have to pay my price." "Oh, really?" Toby winked. He followed Ophelia into the dining room. "And just what might that be?"

"Well, just one kiss couldn't hurt," Ophelia said. Toby's jaw dropped, but he didn't hesitate to take advantage of the offer--much to the chagrin of Lainey Kosmokos, a dormie who was carrying a bit of a torch for him.

"Whoa..." Ophelia said, trying to catch her breath. She looked away. "I think that was... a singularly bad idea." "What?!?" "I've got to go," she said hurriedly, and pushed past Hugo out the back door. "That was, like, so deep," Lainey K. said, frowning slightly. "Hey, why don't I show you my ... err ... pillow collection?" Toby asked, eying her speculatively. Or trying to. His head kept turning to watch Ophelia walk away instead. "Nope, even I can see when somebody's got it bad," Lainey K. said regretfully. "If you ever get over her... give me a call. Otherwise, not going there."

"And so she totally shot me down!" Toby complained to Hugo the next morning. "Toby?" "Yes, Hugo?" "That spandex makes you look ridiculous." "Spandex?" Toby blinked, then looked down. "Errr..."

"So which one are you pining after?" Hugo asked. He very kindly didn't bring up the fact that Hugo had mocked him ceaselessly for working out in a similar outfit a couple of terms back. "Lainey K. or Ophelia?" "Which do you think?" Toby said plaintively. "I think that for the first time in your life, a woman is saying no to you and it's driving you nuts," Hugo said, sinking a jump shot easily. Toby really couldn't come up with a response to that.

My Dear Ching Shih, Congratulations on finishing high school. It is a tremendous accomplishment, to be sure. When do you start college? You must be very excited about moving to Paris... such an exotic city! You will have to remember to write to your old friend often and not forget me when you're caught up in all your new adventures. Oh, and that reminds me... now that you are moving on to bigger and better things, I think it's past time that you started calling me Jim. I would be honoured if you would do so. I hope to hear from you soon. -- Jim

"Ching Shih?" Grace called softly. She'd heard stirring in the hallway and stepped out quietly to see if it was her daughter who was moving around so late past midnight. "Mom? What are you doing up?" "I could ask the same thing of you," Grace's soft laugh filled the air between them. "Oh, just finishing up packing," Shih said. "And responding to an email from Jim. He congratulated me on graduating."

"He's been a very good friend to you," Grace said. "And... speaking of that... your father and I thought that you might like to visit him when you're on your college break at the end of next term, so we've decided to give you the beach house as a graduation present. Would you like that?" "That would be excellent!" Shih said excitedly. "Well, the key is already in your bag," Grace smiled. "And now, you'd best get to sleep. You have a long day ahead of you tomorrow."

Thirty-six hours later, after several delayed flights, Shih finally arrived at university. In a chicken costume.

"Ahhh... that's better," she said happily. To be continued... Credits Ndainye / Jenn / Jnnfr123770 (Familiar Faces) Pen / penguingirl0384 (Penguino Legacy) Ruby / Ah Rubyblue (Goldilocks and the Nine Heirs) Michelle / Michael Fobbs (Planetary Apocalypse) De / fireflower314 / http://fireflowersims.livejournal.com (Morgan & Pierce Legacies) Orikes / orikes360 (Pseudo Legacy)

Professor Butters / loolooloo16play (Squeaky Clean Legacy) Denise / avidreader2466 (Puritanical Green Thumb) Stacie / stacierearden (Whedonberry Legacy) Jonny / Jwoodsbuzz (A Grave Legacy) Gin / GintasticNecat (Science of a Legacy) Lea / tlhs0 (Barsoom Legacy) Ophelia is from Orikes' Pseudo Legacy Flavius Marius is from Blite/Ben/netsfn1427's Ten Caesars Legacy Sunny Goodytwoshoes is from Professor Butters' Squeaky Clean Legacy