The Fuddler November 2010

When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re on line too at www.thefuddler.com!

THAI RESTAURANT Inside The White Hart

You are invited to our beautifully refurbished Thai Restaurant and enjoy an authentic

Thai cuisine experience.

Bring this ad for £10.00 off your bill when you book a table for 4 or more.

(offer for a limited time only) We now also offer a take away

and delivery service. Receive a bottle of beer free of charge

on orders over £10.00 (Collection only)

Tel: 01525 406910

Now Fully refurbished

All central Bedfordshire areas covered Airport transfer specialists Competitive prices Corporate account works Passenger & parcel service School service 100% reliable service Professional service guaranteed 24 hours a day

C&R PEST MANAGEMENT

40 Yrs experience Fully Insured Special Rates for OAPS!

Wasps, Rats, Mice, Rabbits, Moles, etc

Free Estimate01525 288207

07500 431131

FIXED PRICE AERIAL

INSTALLATIONS

See our ad on page 30

PRINTING &

COPYINGUp to A0

01234 766819 Also mailmerge,

packing & mailing

ASKEW MAILING SERVICES LTD

[email protected] D & G SHORT

NEED A LOCKSMITH?

Please turn to our ad

on page 7

Plus - All your plumbing

needs

Hello again! Here we are with your sparkl ing November edition of TheFuddler! As always we very much hope you enjoy this issue - you’ll find lots of fun and nonsense inside, plus handy information about local events that are happening and of course

those a l l impor tan t me s s a g e s f r o m o u r advertisers showing again and again that ‘Whatever you’re looking for - you’ll find it in The Fuddler!’If you decide that you would like an ad with us - our contact details are on page four of each issue.

Sharman LawS O L I C I T O R SIncorporating Sharman & Trethewy

The Solicitors who care for you,your family and your business

1 Harpur Street, BedfordTelephone: 01234 30 30 30

Email: [email protected]: www.SharmanLaw.co.uk

88 Dunstable Street, AmpthillTelephone: 01525 750 750

Sharman LawS O L I C I T O R SIncorporating Sharman & Trethewy

The Solicitors who care for you,your family and your business

1 Harpur Street, BedfordTelephone: 01234 30 30 30

Email: [email protected]: www.SharmanLaw.co.uk

88 Dunstable Street, AmpthillTelephone: 01525 750 750

Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

33, RUSSELL DRIVE AMPTHILL

With Winter just round the corner, isn’t it time you considered replacing those doors and windows? Or maybe a new conservatory to enjoy. Don’t compromise on style - call into our showroom and see our stunning range of doors and windows including “The Composite Door”.

No window or glazing job too small.

Cinema Near You – Coming Soon.Cinema Near You – Coming Soon.

The Zonita at Parkside From Saturday 22nd January, Ampthill will have it’s very own monthly cinema – The Zonita. Named after the legendary 1937 Ampthill picture house, we’re taking you back to that era and recreating an old fashioned cinema experience.

With a childrens matinee, an evening programme and fully licensed bar, the Ampthill Communty Cinema brings back the golden days of cinema, with state of the art technology and a diverse programme including the latest films.

Visit: zonita.co.uk or facebook.com/zonitaampthill

Cinema Near You – Coming Soon.Cinema Near You – Coming Soon.

The Zonita at Parkside From Saturday 22nd January, Ampthill will have it’s very own monthly cinema – The Zonita. Named after the legendary 1937 Ampthill picture house, we’re taking you back to that era and recreating an old fashioned cinema experience.

With a childrens matinee, an evening programme and fully licensed bar, the Ampthill Communty Cinema brings back the golden days of cinema, with state of the art technology and a diverse programme including the latest films.

Visit: zonita.co.uk or facebook.com/zonitaampthill


As always, there is tremendous excitement in the air with the forthcoming Ampthill Christmas Lights Switching on Ceremony! Taking place on Sunday 28th November from 2.30 pm in the Town Centre car park, you are invited to come and wander round the v a r i o u s s t a l l s a n d attractions, meet Father Christmas, and marvel at the many fairground rides available. We understand that there will be Carol Singing leading up to the big switch on at 4.30 pm. Refreshments are also available on the big day which promises to be a fun afternoon for all the family!

CHRISTMAS FAYRE - FLITWICK LOWER SCHOOL Sunday 28th November 2pm-4pm Free Admission

Come and meet Santa and his Elves, Celebrity Guest, Games, Crafts, Tombola, Books and much more !!

O n S a t u r d a y 1 3 t h November there is to be a Magic Show presented at Parkside Hall in Ampthill (reg charity no 300000). Presented by Ian Keable, this a first class comedy magic show of 2 hours length.

ADULTS SHOW 8.00 pm - £8.00 per ticket (Suitable for 12 yrs + - bar and refreshments.)

CHILDRENS SHOW 3.00pm - £3.00 per ticket or 4 tickets for price of 3 (Refreshments) For more details or to book your ticket the box office number is 01525 751629

Alameda School Association

CHRISTMAS FAYRE Saturday 27 November 2010

11.30am – 2.00pm Alameda Middle School

Station Road, Ampthill Entrance Tickets: £1.00 per adult

Children under 16 free! Some of the stalls on offer include:

* Arts & Crafts * Body Shop * Cards * Children’s Stalls * Chocolate Tombola * Christmas Decorations * Christmas Essentials & Gift Ideas * Crafty Cups * Domino’s Pizzas *

Face Painting * Fairtrade * Frogs ‘n’ Fairies * Games * Handmade Crafts * Jewellery * Nail Art * Pampered

Chef * Raffle * Refreshments & Food * Stocking Fillers * Sweet Sensations * Teddy Tombola * Toys *

There is something for everyone, so come along & do some Christmas Shopping!!

Staples Garden Centre, Fordfield Rd, Millbrook, MK45 2HZ Telephone 01525 402959

Workshops & Clubs available - please come in for details We stock card making supplies, decoupage, water colour supplies and much more! DMC Silks, Jewellery, beads and findings. Stockists of wool - Robin, Bretts, Peter Pan & Wendy. WOOL

NOW IN

JOIN OUR CRAFT CLUB 10% Discount on all purchases.

Free tea/coffee voucher for restaurant. Monthly newsletter

£12.00 per year

Invite you to:

THE Fashion & Lifestyle Fair, 20th November 2010 10am-6pm At The Neoclassical Harpur Suite,The Corn Exchange, Bedford MK40 1SE Perfect opportunity to purchase unique Christmas gifts from the best of Beds, Bucks and London! £2 entry/concession/entrance to prize draw.

For more details please call 07508 256 197 CHEESEMANS PHARMACY OF AMPTHILL

Tel: 01525 402173

FREE PRESCRIPTION DELIVERY Can’t get to the chemist or surgery?

Don’t worry, we’ll pick up your prescription from your surgery and deliver your medication to your door.

Covering Ampthill, Clophill, Flitwick, Houghton Conquest, Maulden, Silsoe, Wilstead

& surrounding villages.

The Cottage Bakery has been providing buffets for parties, office lunches and private functions for several years.

We now have a Buffet Brochure for your perusal.

Please call in to one of our shops, visit our web site or give us a call and

give us a try……

61-63 Dunstable St. Ampthill www.thecottagebakery.co.uk

01525 402348

Ampthill

T H E


“The Fuddler” i s pub l i she d by MDA Publications and printed by Fidelity Print Solutions. The views expressed herein are not necessarily those of the publisher. No part of this publication may be copied in any form or by any means without written permission of the Publisher. Copyright MDA Publications. Like to book an ad, or ask about our absurdly low rates please ring Martin on

Across: 1 Adore, 4 Acres, 10 Collide, 11 Adept, 12 Pleat, 13 Satiate, 15 Ewer, 17 Score, 19 Eater, 22 Neat, 25 Charity, 27 Tuber, 29 Nails, 30 Immerse, 31 Jetty, 32 Etude

Down: 2 Delve, 3 Roister, 5 Chant, 6 Elevate, 7 Scape, 8 Tease, 9 Steed, 14 Area, 16 Went, 18 Chalice, 20 Attempt, 21 Scene, 23 Eyrie, 24 Order, 26 Inset, 28 Bored

A BRIANISM My wheelbarrow ran off the path and rolled into the flower bed but the

AA were not interested in coming out to help.

LORD DEE’S PONDERINGS

I mentioned to Check-It-Out and Duster the other day that following last month’s revelation concerning my crusade, I am delighted to report that gin and tonics are now being poured in the c o r r e c t f a s h i o n everywhere! Now I have to start all over again to make sure that beer is poured into the correct glass.

Ciao

Visit our showroom. Over 70 modern andtraditional fireplaces and stoves on display.

1, Woburn Street, Ampthill, Beds

Tel: 01525 841199 www.ampthillfireplaces.co.uk

Mon - Fri: 10am - 5pm Sat: 10am - 4pm

New Displays

now including 50 Wood Burning

and Multifuel Stoves

CLOUD NINE DISCO

For DANCES, WEDDINGS, PARTIES, PROMOTIONS, CHILDREN’S PARTIES Etc.

GUY INGLE Professional D.J. / Entertainer

Ingle Entertainments Ampthill (01525) 402475


Integrated Clinical Excellence Making life more flexible

Structural, Cranial and Visceral Osteopathy at ICE

Deborah Pedley BSc(Hons)Ost Alice Wilkins B.Ost Med

Fully qualified and experienced osteopaths Deborah and Alice offer friendly, effective treatment to help

you with:

Back pain Sports injuries Postural problems Muscle tension Digestive problems Repetitive strain injury

Daytime and evening appointments available

Tel : 01525 841845

ICE, 35 Russell Drive, Ampthill, Beds., MK45 2TX

www.iceclinic.co.uk

Registered Member of The British Chiropody and Podiatry Association HPC Registration No. CH17913

THERESE GRAY FSSCh. Dip Pod Med. MBChA. Chiropodist/Podiatrist Surgery By Appointment

Telephone: 01525 841845 Email: [email protected]

Corns, calluses, nails, bunions,verrucae, foot health advice,

shoe advice, hot wax treatments,reflexology and one hour

foot pamper.Gift Vouchers availableICE Integrated Clinical Excellence

35 Russell Drive Ampthill MK45 2TX

Sport and Remedial Massage Therapy

Do you suffer muscular pain?

Are you suffering with an injury?

Have you any joint or postural problems?

Maybe you sit at a computer and suffer neck and shoulder pain?

Perhaps you are a golfer suffering with a painful elbow?

Does manual work cause you pain and mobility problems?

Maybe you run and suffer from shin splints or ITB pain?

BodyMoves can help you move forward to recovery

Mike Pearce BA (Hons), Dip.LSSM. MISRM Call ICE on 01525 841845 [email protected]

AT


Pervasive

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17 18 19 20

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25 26 27 28

29 30

31 32

Thanks again Marjorie for sending us yet another cracker!

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This has nothing to do with the crossword, but Sandra is still looking up words in her big book (dictionary?). See whether or not the word jumps put at you. (Answer at the bottom of the page if it doesn’t!)

Across: 1 Fret (5) 4 Howls (5) 10 Accounts examiner (7) 11 Banned (5) 12 Slice meat (5) 13 Ends (7) 15 Tree (4) 17 Greek Island (5) 19 Sagacity (5) 22 Destitution (4) 25 Vie (7) 27 Not suitable (5) 29 Weapon (5) 30 Roman (7) 31 Pier (5) 32 Drain (5)

Down: 2 More unusual (7) 3 Hideaway (7) 5 Thespian (5) 6 Porches (7) 7 Scrap (5) 8 Talk too much (5) 9 Film U.S. (5)14 Gaelic (4) 16 U.S. Coin (4) 18 Amour (7) 20 School (7) 21 Head covering (5) 23 Weird (5) 24 Make amends (5) 26 Vote for (5) 28 Bear (5)

*Maintenance *Drainage *Driveways

*Landscaping *Fencing *Patios

Contact: Andi Brackenridge T: 07789 681252 Email: [email protected]

Electrical Contractor Domestic and Industrial

Your local Electrical Contractor All types of testing and certification undertaken

FREE QUOTATIONSNICEIC Approved Contractor

Working with Ampthill Town Council 11 Cedar Close, Ampthill, Bedford, MK45 2UD

Tel & Fax: 01525 714057

BOB AMBLERHOME DESIGNS

CarpentryKitchens - Bedrooms

Home Offices - Bathrooms Replacement Kitchen Doors

Worktops and Built in Appliances A complete design, supply and

installation service01525 405393 ans. phone

Mobile: 07889 058345


Plumbing supplies for the trade and DIY er at discount prices. We will beat any genuine like for like written quote by

10% on all our stock items.

Forget the rest give us a test Speak to our plumbing expert for advice

on your plumbing problems


Meerkat is very worried about TIME.......at the worst it’s unpredictable, can be manipulated (ask the Co-alition about that one!) greedy and yet at the best it can also be deliciously sensitive, generous and giving. However, Meerkat has recently discovered of late, TIME has developed the unique and incurable infection...... “Fuddleritus”. For the past week the town clock has been 1hr 2mins slow, or has Meerkat had too much red wine? No, apparently, the clock went back LAST Saturday (23rd

October) Someone seems to have got TIME completely out of sequence and has been living in winter time a whole week longer than the rest of us, or even more scary – living in Trumpton Town!! Wait a minute….. Meerkat has cracked it ….it’s all to do with ‘cut backs’…we are even cutting back TIMEnow!All the parking tickets Meerkat has used these past few weeks have been ‘Fuddled’….time expired has read, 15.27; 12.04; 17.33 and 13.23 respectively, and to make matters even more

complicated, Meerkat’s flu jab this year was at 12.42. But, the best one of all happened a few Saturdays ago…….a certain up and coming Landlord spent the whole morning mending the coffee machine so that his selected and the cream of the crop regulars could enjoy their Saturday cup of coffee only to find that these peoples did not even turn up that day!!!...now was that a waste of TIME or what!!!!....Lets hope the clocks all go back properly on Sunday morning (31st) at 2am sharp, being an unscheduled Fuddler time of course…….if not we can blame the government!

We’ll see!

With Hayley - D.I.

OK - Who’s got the hare’s sunglasses?

Please bring them back or there will be serious

trouble!! We’ll find out you know!

‘Don’t fink I understand Spooks - what would I

know about the M fifteen anyway? Is it a road?’

AT HOME OR WORK Full and part valets, Hand washed and polished

Seats and carpets cleaned Call Nigel on 01525 261485

Mobile 07977 605987 email: [email protected]

RACHEL’S BLINDING DESIGNER FABRICS, INTERIOR DESIGN

STUNNING CURTAINS & BLINDS

Tel: 01525 635946 Mob: 07944 417342

Samples brought to your home Free estimates Over 20 years experience

INDIVIDUAL & PROFESSIONAL

drive safer this winter

Take Advantage of our Unique Skid Identification & Control Course for Christmas

Contact us for more information

www.catdrivertraining.co.uk 01234 757633

Festive

Christmas Price

£139 per person

drive safer this winter

Take Advantage of our Unique Skid Identification & Control Course for Christmas

Contact us for more information

www.catdrivertraining.co.uk 01234 757633

Festive

Christmas Price

£139 per person


also at: 4 Archway Parade, Marsh Road, Luton Tel: 01582 492197 118 London Road, St Albans Tel: 01727 844408

113 Dunstable Street, Ampthill Tel: 01525 404406FOR MORE INFORMATION EITHER POP IN OR CALL US ON

www.bennettsflooring.co.ukThe biggest independent flooring retailer in Bedfordshire and Hertfordshire

OPENING TIMES:Monday to Saturday 9am - 5.30pm

TE

ER

TS

EL

BA

TS

NU

D

WAITROSE

& Solid Woods

Carpets Vinyl

AmticoQuickstep Laminate

EngineeredSisal Seagrass

12Karndeans 12 brand new

designs to see in store

Bennetts can still fit any flooring before christmas

Twists available from

£5.99 per metre

Woodsavailable from

£19.99 per metre

WoolLoops available from

£9.99 per metre

OUR NEW MANAGER Gary McCarthy Would like to

welcome you to Bennetts Ampthill

also at: 4 Archway Parade, Marsh Road, Luton Tel: 01582 492197 118 London Road, St Albans Tel: 01727 844408

113 Dunstable Street, Ampthill Tel: 01525 404406FOR MORE INFORMATION EITHER POP IN OR CALL US ON

www.bennettsflooring.co.ukThe biggest independent flooring retailer in Bedfordshire and Hertfordshire

OPENING TIMES:Monday to Saturday 9am - 5.30pm

TE

ER

TS

EL

BA

TS

NU

D

WAITROSE

& Solid Woods

Carpets Vinyl

AmticoQuickstep Laminate

EngineeredSisal Seagrass

12Karndeans 12 brand new

designs to see in store

Bennetts can still fit any flooring before christmas

Twists available from

£5.99 per metre

Woodsavailable from

£19.99 per metre

WoolLoops available from

£9.99 per metre

OUR NEW MANAGER Gary McCarthy Would like to

welcome you to Bennetts Ampthill


By Julio Van Peebles 1) What is a doornail ? 2) Did Henry ever get a new bucket ? 3) Why do some cycle paths mysteriously end without warning and restart several hundred yards up the road ? 4) Is there such a thing as a young biddy ? 5) When a bird is kept in captivity, is it held Ostrich ?

Julio’s Top Tip: If 75% of accidents happen within 3 miles from home, why not move 10 miles away ?

With Jimmy The Voice Now this is a worry! JTV has been building more impossible things! ...

... Or is it? We can’t work it out! We think JTV is just devising crazy things to keep us all guessing.

23rd November Congratulations to Fitty and B

on your Silver Wedding Anniversary Love from us all

Penblwydd Hapus WMM

60!

7thNovemberTo Martha.

Happy first birthday with lots of love from Mummy and Daddy.

A HUGE Happy 75th Birthday to Alan for the 24th November!

Times to suit you. 1st assessment FREE -

45 mins lessons AGES 6 to 60

For further information contact Guy on 07811 364 328

BOTOX YOUR HOUSE!

Before … … And after

Give your house an extension and boost it’s value!Give Stuart Palmer a call

fod limited, CHARTERED ARCHITECTS, 21 DUNSTABLE STREET, AMPTHILL MK45 2NJ

T: 01525 406117 Email: [email protected]


Babs was very excited. She had just got the job of her dreams as a roving reporter for The Fuddler. One day, a car was involved in an accident in the road. As expected a large crowd had gathered which meant Babs could not get through to the scene. Not wishing to lose a story she had a brainwave and decided on some crowd clearing tactics. Babs started towards the crowd shouting loudly ‘Let me through! Let me through! I am the daughter of the victim.’ Sure enough the crowd made way for her. Lying in front of the car was a donkey.

Everything is fine as it is - now go back to sleep. Every morning is the dawn of a new error... My friend’s husband is so silly he broke his leg raking leaves. He fell out of the tree. Never purchase beauty products in a hardware store. A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking. Honk if you love peace and quiet. Never shake hands with your workforce. Shaking your fist at them will achieve so much more. Lower your standards to the level you are at. Success is easy. Never take men seriously - they are only there to keep us entertained. Well it says all you can eat. It doesn’t say the kitchen’s out of bounds. Stand as far away as you can from your mirror and look at yourself through the wrong end of a pair of opera glasses. Do you stand out? Sorry I was late for work today but I was attacked by a flock of birds who mistook dandruff for breadcrumbs. 1 Bird’s beak, 2 Breed of sheep, 3

11th Jan 1946, 4 ‘Hard Times’ by Charles Dickens, 5 Maggie Stables, 6 £65,000, 7 Tennessee, 8 Fog, 9 Envelope, 10 1950.

1. Where would you find a ‘Cere’? 2. What is a ‘Kajli’? 3. When was King Zog of Albania

deposed in absentia? 4. ‘Now what I want is facts’ is the

opening line to which book? 5. Who played Dr Who assistant

Evelyn Smythe? 6. In 1957 J. Charles was

transferred from Leeds to Juventus. For what fee?

7. Where in the US is a town called ‘Difficult’?

8. I f y o u s u f f e r e d f r o m ‘Homichlophobia’ of what would you be frightened?

9. What would you find ‘Deckled’? 10.In what year was ‘Velcro’

invented?

DAB HAND LAWN CARE The lawn expert, giving you a lawn to be proud of

Feeding \ Weeding Repairing \ Laying

Seeding and Mowing The Complete Service

Tel: 01525 713540 07710 501008

‘We really do make the difference’

Building Preservation Specialists Damp ProofingWoodworm TreatmentsDry / Wet Rot TreatmentsBasement Waterproofing

Telephone/Fax (01525) 406655 Mobile: 07850 727752 email: [email protected]

16 Tavistock Avenue, Ampthill, Bedford. MK45 2RY

rmf Mobile Vehicle Valeting

‘I Come to YOU’ at Home or Work

* Professional * Personal * Polite and Friendly Service www.rmfvehiclevalet.co.uk

07795 364004 01525 382765

THE FIRS GUEST HOUSE & CAFE

85, High Street, Ridgmont, Beds Tel: 01525 280279 or 288282

www.thefirsatridgmont.co.uk

GREAT VALUE AT THE FIRS!

Bed & Breakfast from only £25.00 pppn CONTRACTORS WELCOME

Why not call in for one of our FAMOUS ALL DAY BREAKFASTS?

Plus … Teas, coffees, sandwiches, rolls and a large selection of home cooked meals at

£5.00 or less! Eat in or take away


CANCER (June 22-July 23) As we commence the run up to the year’s end, this could be a good time for you to have a clear out and start afresh soon.

LEO (July 24-August 23) There would appear to be travel arrangements on the cards. Could this lead to the culmination of your hopes and dreams?

VIRGO (Aug 24-Sept 23) After the recent full moon, you may have reacted in a way that you wish you hadn’t. However, all is redeemable if you wish.

LIBRA (Sept 24-Oct 23) Following your instincts could be a good idea at the moment as all may not be as it seems. Take care who you accept advice from.

SCORPIO (Oct 24-Nov 22) You may find an offer coming from an unexpected source. This could entail travel that you had not accounted for in the scheme of things.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov 23-Dec 22) If things don’t seem to be going your way just now, you may not be using the right approach. Try keeping calmer.

CAPRICORN (Dec 23-Jan 20) There may be people around that wish to take advantage of your generous nature. Hold your nerve and stand your ground.

AQUARIUS (Jan 21-Feb 19) You could be tempted by a new arrangement on the job front. Look carefully at all the details and make sure it is right for you.

PISCES (Feb 20-March 20) Sometimes that streak of stubbornness does not do you any favours at all. Try and stand back and consider accepting at least some of the advice.

ARIES (March 21-April 20) It will soon surely be time to deal with outstanding affairs, clear the decks and get ready for the run up to the end of the year.

TAURUS (April 21-May 21) The planetary aspects indicate a tremendous amount of fun and joy heading your way. Ignore the others and follow your heart.

GEMINI (May 22-June 21) The planetary aspects of late seem to have influenced your thinking on a subject close to your heart. Go with the flow and try not worry.

NEW MEMBERS ALWAYS WELCOME

Stewartby Way, Stewartby, Bedford MK43 9NB

TELEPHONE: CLUBHOUSE 01234 768261

OFFICE 01234 768112

LOUNGE BAR / GAMES ROOM /RECREATION HALL

Plus ... Line Dancing every Monday

Adult Tae Kwon Do classes every Wednesday Bingo every Thursday

And lots more besides! FULL SIZE SNOOKER TABLE

Families welcome -drinks at Club prices!

Parking available

FORTHCOMING EVENTS -8.00 pm START

Friday 12th November KARAOKE NIGHTFree entry - all welcome

Sunday 14th NovemberQUIZ NIGHT

Free entry - all welcomeSaturday 20th NovemberPOTTSY’S SOUL NIGHT

Entry £5.00 on the door Friday 26th November

Live Entertainment with JULIAN’S ROCK & ROLL NIGHT

Free entry - all welcome Saturday 27th November

BIG SCREEN RACE NIGHT Free entry - all welcome

FUNCTION ROOM TO HIRE AT VERY REASONABLE RATES!

For your parties, receptions etc.We are also able to supply in house catering

services plus our renowned ‘ACE’ Disco Roadshow

Please call us for more details

THE BEDFORD ESTATES

Woburn Firewood Seasoned ash, oak and beech logs

from renewable sources

To place an order or for further information, please contact Diane Willison on 01525 290333 or

email [email protected]

Full load - £125.00 Half load - £70.00

Kindling - £3.00 (per bag)Full load approximately 1.5 cubic meters

Free delivery within 15 miles of Woburn


Once again Ampthill & District Rotary Club, as part of its community commitment, is inviting you to celebrate someone special on the Ampthill Tree of Light in the Market Square. Cards & envelopes will be available in local shops & churches from the middle of November until 21st December and completed cards will be displayed in Phonus opposite the Tree in the Market Square You may wish to remember someone, thank someone who has helped you or just wish someone a happy Christmas. We suggest a donation of £2.00 but you may give more or less. All money collected will go to local charities including the Mayor’s chosen charities. In the last two years from this initiative alone, over £2,000 has been raised & distributed locally to organisations such as Keech, Jigsaw Club, See Saw Club, Ampthill Festival. Please take your envelope with completed card and donation to Cheesemans the chemist or Phonus both in Church Street by 21st December. As well as raising money, we see this as an opportunity to engender community spirit whilst giving us all the opportunity to honour a loved one. Maureen Milway President Ampthill & District Rotary Club.

If you would like to reserve your ad for our Christmas edition please ring Martin on

01525 841434 to check on space availability!

Bedford Street, Woburn, MK17 9QBTel: 01525 290219www. longsinn.com

20% OFF FOOD AND DRINKAT LONGS

Longs Inn at Woburn is offering a special introductorydiscount of 20% off food and drink purchased

together during November.Just bring this advert with you to receive the aboveoffer. Our Chef uses only the highest quality, locally

sourced produce for his dishes.Why not take a look at our new website

www.longsinn.com to discover more about us andsee a sample menu.

Or give us a ring to book your table on01525 290219.

LUXURY CHAUFFEUR DRIVEN CARS

Arrive in style and leave safely

Relax and enjoy the Season’s festivities

with BE-Driven Cars

Party bookings now being taken

BE-Special

t: 01908 281788 m: 07836 780088

www.be-drivencars.co.uk

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AAAAAAAAAArrrrrrrriiivvveee iiiinn sssttyyyle anndd lllllleeeeeeeaaaavvvee saafeely

RRRRRRRRReeeeeeellllllaaaaaaxxxxxx aaaaannnnndddddd eeeeeeeeeeeeennjjoyy thheeSSSSSSSeeeeeeaaaaaaassssssooooooooonnnnnnn’’’ssssssss ffeeeeeeeeesssssttiivviittiees

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PaPaPaPaPaPaPaP rtrrtyy bbbobobobobookokiningss nnoowowow bebeiing taaakekkekenn

LUXURY CHAUFFEUR DRIVEN CARS

Arrive in style and leave safely

Relax and enjoy the Season’s festivities

with BE-Driven Cars

Party bookings now being taken

BE-Special

t: 01908 281788 m: 07836 780088

www.be-drivencars.co.uk


It’s the time of year the children cheer, It won’t be long before Christmas is here.

So let me tell you what’s going on, In the town, at the Christmas lights switch on. So here’s the date you all need to remember

Its Sunday the 28th of November. Free hot drinks we give away,

To warm you up on this cold day. We will also be selling cakes on this day,

So please donate some money and take them away. Fairy cakes, sponges, rock cakes to name just a few

I’ve made some special just for you. Free children’s goodie bags while stocks last,

So call in quick they will go fast. There so much going on

Starting at 2.30 so please come along. We will be keeping the shop open till 5.30

To give you a chance to get your Christmas bits early. We have a great range of Christmas goodies on display Ready

for you to view, buy, and take away. And why not sign up to have your news papers delivered to

your door, And with our offer of half price who could ask for more. It would also make a great gift for your family or friend,

But please be quick before the offer comes to an end. For the details on the offers and much more

Please call into our store. 17 Church Street Ampthill 01525 404314

Money raised from the above will be going to Keech Hospice and The Air Ambulance.

Beat the credit crunch with Formula One Scooters

www.f1scooters.co.uk

WE NOW HAVE A FULLY EQUIPPED WORKSHOP AND CAN SERVICE AND REPAIR ANY MAKE OF

SCOOTER 50 CC TO 125 CC With the price of car-parking, tax and petrol, the ideal vehicle for commuting is a scooter; a years’ tax on a scooter is only £15. Very cheap to insure. At Most rail stations parking for a scooter is free (£6.20 a day for a car), coupled by the fact that you can actually park. The other obvious advantage is that you can get circa 100 miles to a gallon. You can ride a 50 cc at age 16, or if you have a full car licence, just twist and go, no test or ‘L’ plates required. (Providing licence obtained prior to February 2001)

September is fast approaching so why don’t you treat yourself to a brand new 60 plate Scooter FROM AS LITTLE AS £750.00 BRAND NEW, TAXED REGISTERED AND ON THE ROAD.

ORDER NOW TO BEAT THE JANUARY VAT INCREASE!

F1 Scooters Unit D, Station Road Business Park, Ampthill, Beds MK45 2QY

(Immediately behind Eckart) 0845 313 8400 07961 775420

The Wingfield Club Ltd. C.I.U. Affiliated

37 Church Street, Ampthill, Beds 01525 403321 (Bar) 01525 841736 (Office)

Meeting rooms & Large Lounge for hire phone 01525 841736

Free WiFi

£2.70 £2.90 £2.45

£2.45

£2.70

£2.70 £2.80

WINES A fine selection of wines in

187 ml bottles all at £2.50 each BINGO

Every Thursday evening LIVE ENTERTAINMENT

See notice board inside bar area

£2.45

The Wingfield Club Ltd. C.I.U. Affiliated

37 Church Street, Ampthill, Beds 01525 403321 (Bar) 01525 841736 (Office)

Meeting rooms & Large Lounge for hire phone 01525 841736

Free WiFi

£2.70 £2.90 £2.45

£2.45

£2.70

£2.70 £2.80

WINES A fine selection of wines in

187 ml bottles all at £2.50 each BINGO

Every Thursday evening LIVE ENTERTAINMENT

See notice board inside bar area

£2.45


‘Bonjour. A few of you will know that Ampthill is now officially Twinned with Nissan-Lez-Enserune in the Languedoc region of the South of France, 20 minutes from the Med. This took nearly 2 years of work by a committed (and they should be) committee of 10 local residents!The town’s schools have already expressed an interest in communicating with their opposite numbers in France with a view to video chats, emails and hopefully welcoming visitors to Ampthill and visiting France. Sports clubs and associations are involved already; a Petanque team has visited us and Ampthill Under 13s Rugby Team are hoping to tour next year, also the Tennis club are in the preliminary stages of arranging visits. The Twinning however isn’t just for schools, clubs and societies. Although we would love to hear from more interested parties, it is for all the residents who wish to experience the French way of life in the home of a French family as well as welcoming a French family into their home. We are now looking for people who are interested in taking the Twinning to the next level. We are inviting people to become members of the Twinning Association which would enable them to receive a Newsletter 3 times a year and be eligible to join in the Twinning Events – the first one is planned for the New Year and will be a wine/food tasting evening with goods from the area of Nissan. We will be arranging a visit to France next spring for interested parties when members of the Twinning Association will have the opportunity to join us. We also need assistance with organising events. Annual membership costs are kept to the minimum to enable all to participate. Family Membership is £10, Single membership is £5 and Corporate/Small Business is £10 (£25 if a link and thanks are to be placed on our website www.ampthilltwinning.com ).’ Anybody interested in learning more, please email Dave Ratcliffe at [email protected]

SKIP and HELEN welcome you to the

OSSORY ARMS 9 Arthur Street, Ampthill 01525 841508

www.ossoryarms.co.uk

NATIONALCURRY WEEK

Starts Sunday 21st Nov

Curries from around the world

Served Daily Call into

The Ossory Arms for more details

Pool Table

Dart Board

WI FI available ALL MAJOR SPORTING

EVENTS SHOWN Juke box

MULLEDWINE

AVAILABLENOV / DEC

REAL ALESGreene King IPA 3.6%

Greene King ST EDMUND 4.2 %

Hardy & Hansons OLDE TRIP 4.3%

BREAKFAST SERVED

Friday and Saturday 10.30 - 2.30

Sunday 9.30 - 2.30

MAIN MENUServed Mon - Sun12.00 noon til 2.30

QUIZ NIGHTEVERY THURDAY

8.45 pm start 5 rounds and Jackpot

OFFICE: SMART Motorcycle Training

38, Kings Road, Maulden, Beds MK45 2DT

TRAINING CENTRE: SMART Motorcycle Training,

Redborne School, Ampthill, Beds MK45 2NU


The Ampthill Singers Present

A Touch of Class Personal choices of some of the best all time tunes

At Ampthill Methodist Church November 12th & 13th from 7.30 pm

Tickets £5.00 (Concession £4.00) Family (2+2 £15.00 Tickets available from 07092 984667 (box office)

Or from shops in Ampthill & Flitwick Supporting Starlight Children’s Foundation & Alzheimer’s Society (UK)

Ampthill and Flitwick Dramatic Society will present “The Diary of Anne Frank” by Frances Goodrich and Albert Hackett at Parkside Hall Ampthill, at 7.45 pm November 18th-20th.This is the well known tragic story of Anne, her family and some of their friends who hid in an attic in Amsterdam between 1942-44 following Nazi occupation of their country. Anne’s account of the events during this period details the stresses of food shortages, lack of privacy and the continuous fear of being discovered, punctuated by brief pleasures-games, visits from supportive outsiders-and finally the news that Allied troops had landed. The play was adapted from Anne’s own diaries, meticulously recorded by her, and poignantly retrieved by a friend when the group was discovered and dispatched to the Holocaust prison camps. For tickets : 01525 634846

Santa Is Visiting

Fairies n Frogs Children’s Gifts and Toys

(RUSSELL PRESS)

DUNSTABLE STREET AMPTHILL

Weekends of 4th Dec, 11th Dec and 18th Dec.

Call 01525 840271 to pre-book a time to see Santa to avoid disappointment.

Gift (worth £4.99), Photo PLUS we donate 20% to Keech Cottage Hospice.

£6.00 each child.

ALSO… Post your wish letters in his chimney here…

www.fairiesnfrogs.co.ukwww.thepetaupair.co.ukwww.thepetaupppppppppppppppaaaair.co.uk

DOG WALKING

Excellent socialisation for your dog, peace of mind for you!

PET SITTING

Rabbits, guinea pigs, hamsters, birds, rats & ferrets are welcome in our home!

PET TRANSPORTING

01525 860606www.thepetaupair.co.uk01525 860606

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By Henry Flagstaff With this glorious Autumnal weather I was inspired to make Gladys a cup of tea, take the cat for a walk and then sauntered off to the library. As I said last month there really is a plethora of undiscovered adventures there!Perusing the shelves I came across a writer that I had not previously had the pleasure to read - Sandra Brown. I collected a thriller of hers ent i t led ‘P lay Dir ty ’ concerning a disgraced

American football star and his release from prison. He was offered a seemingly simple task which traps him into a web of betrayal with deadly consequences. To quote the Literary Guild ‘She fires your imagination with irresistible characters, unexpected plot twists, scandalous secrets .. So electric you feel the zing.’ Can’t say much more than that other than the malt was fine, wingback comfy and I shall rush to the library to find more of her work!

HF

DISCOS FOR ALL OCCASIONS For The Very Best Disco Around

All The Latest Chart Sounds Great Giveaway Prizes

Receptions For ALL Occasions Very Competitive Prices

Tel: Micky or Joolz on 01525 211670


PROUD TO SUPPORT OUR TROOPS YOU CAN DONATE AT THE SHOP OR

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With Aldous Appleby Continued from last monthMy mother taught me about SHARING.‘I’m going to give you a piece of my mind!’ My mother taught me about GENETICS.‘You’re just like your father.’ My mother taught me about WISDOM.‘When you get to be my age, you'll understand.’ My mother taught me about FEAR.‘One day you'll have a child who'll do the same things to you.’ Great stuff Aldous and many thanks again for sharing those with us!

I don’t really mind the wall at all, except it is a bit silly! But who am I? I am an actress appearing on your television sets in a very p o p u l a r c h i l d r e n ’ s programme remake. You’ll find the answer at the foot of the page.

Deanna Russo from Knight Rider

Rennies have a daily delivery service to Dirty Dave's family home.

1. I don’t want to take my shoes off - I think my feet are agoraphobic.

2. Do you think they really have a board for me to do tap dancing on?

Did you know there is a Royal Appointment known as HM Chief Tabloid Lamenter?

THE ROYAL OAK 40 George Street, WOBURN

We offer great pub food with many homemade dishes, real ales, good garden & smoking area, pool table and darts board. A lovely country pub to visit

NOW TAKING CHRISTMAS BOOKINGS 01525 290695

Hilary & Neil look forward to seeing you

A COMMON MISQUOTATION We have been advised that the saying ‘Pride goes before a

fall’ should actually be ‘Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.’Well now we know! Thank you!

BRAND NEW FUNCTION ROOM

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All enquiries Call 01525 405466

Ampthill. Tel. 405466

BRAND NEW FUNCTION ROOM

AVAILABLE FOR MEETINGS CELEBRATIONS AND PARTIES

New at… THE OLD SUN

VARIETY OF HOT AND COLD BUFFET OPTIONS AVAILABLE IF REQUIRED - FULLY EQUIPPED BAR

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All enquiries Call 01525 405466

Ampthill. Tel. 405466


Memory Foam Mattresses Direct from the manufacturer

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‘I started drinking just as the curse of Double Diamond and Watneys Red Barrel was coming to an end. Although I feel myself fortunate to have avoided that black period another evil was starting to dominate the scene, namely keg beer. It was still possible to access real ale but it had to be searched for. Camra was in its infancy but never was it more needed than to fight off a new threat. Where Hitler had failed to gain a toehold on the Mother Land, lager had established a beach head and was threatening to

sweep through the country. This cold, fizzy, tasteless drink was, for some inexplicable reason, gaining in popularity. Satan’s Brew is the drink of choice for the young, who can perhaps be forgiven as their taste buds have yet to fully develop, and the impressionable. It is also prevalent abroad where proper ale is almost impossible to obtain. Mick Yates, who emigrated to Australia, found the lack of real ale and a local in which to enjoy it was impinging on his otherwise idyllic lifestyle. So he did w h a t a n y s e n s i b l e

Englishman would do - sourced a micro-brewery and built his own pub. I think he should be applauded for trying to educate our former colony...

‘The Tractor & Plough’

PS Readers might be interested to know that I splashed out £9.99 on a new rod and reel combo. PPS Still catching more than the time ravaged ex-landlord.’

Thanks once more to another eagle eyed reader who spotted the following brilliant sign outside a pub:

Thanks again for that one.

HAPPY 45TH BIRTHDAY MITCH

FOR 7th NOVEMBER!

For a 1st Class MILK DELIVERY

SERVICE TELEPHONE 01525 402206

Maulden Dairies Warren Farm, Woburn Street, Millbrook

Free doorstep delivery

Organic and Soya Milk available

Luxury Jersey Cream

Christmas soft drinks and mixers

Garage Door Solutions Ltd

Your local garage door expert for:

Replacements, Repairs and Spares

All makes & designs available 24 Hour repair service No call out charge All work guaranteed Free quotations

Call us now on: 01525 721615 / 07761 093468

Website: www.garagedoorsolutionsltd.co.uk Or see the yellow pages

3, Woodcock Walk, Flitwick, Bedfordshire, MK 45 1RD

BUTCHERS

Telephone (01908) 375275 www.bestbutcher.co.uk

Unit 5, Lower Rectory Farm, Great Brickhill, Milton Keynes, Bucks MK17 9AF

ALL MEATS, POULTRY ETC YOU NEEED FOR XMAS

T.H.E. BEST


The Number 1 Ironing and Laundry Service

Professional, high quality and friendly service

Free delivery and collection

Drop-in and collect service available ( Open from 8 am daily )

Optional same day service

For further information contact

LOUISE on01525 841114 Or see our website at

www.pressed4time.info

31, Russell Drive, Ampthill MK45 2TX


Here is an unusual dessert recipe that one of our readers has been king enough to send to us:

TIPSY PEACHESYou will need: 1 can of peach halves 3 digestive biscuits 75 gm cream cheese 1 tbs ground almonds 1/2 pint white wine or cider (that’s 1/4 pint for cooking and 1/4 pint for you to slurp!) Heat up the oven to about 180 c. Place the peaches in an ovenproof dish making sure they are hollow side up. Crumble the digestive

biscuits and mix together with the cream cheese and almonds. Then place a dollop of the mixture in each of the peach hollows. Pour the wine or cider (remember it is 1/4 pint) around the peaches and bake in the centre of the oven for 10 - 15 minutes. Whilst the peaches are cooking you have the chance for your crafty slurp with the other 1/4 pint of wine or cider! When cooked, the peaches may be served either hot or cold.Sounds delicious, thanks for that!

If you would like to book an ad in our Christmas edition please ring Martin

on 01525 841434 to check on space availability!

TRADITIONAL FREEHOUSEPUB AND RESTAURANT

WITH LARGE PATIO GARDEN

BOOK NOWFOR YOUR

CHRISTMAS PARTY2 courses £15.953 courses £18.95

View our website for the Menu

The Green ManChurch EndEversholtMK17 9DU

Telephone – 01525 288111Website www.greenmaneversholt.com

T Butlin Building and Plastering Est 1987

www.timbutlinbuilders.co.uk

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Excitement was in the air! Mrs F. and myself, Henry and his wife Gladys plus several friends and acquaintances were off to The Stables Theatre at Wavendon to see ‘Mugenkyo Taiko Drummers’ in concert. Never having been to The Stables before it was a fascinating approach to the theatre along a country lane in the village of Wavendon. Just at the end of the lane we reached the venue and were delighted to find there was plenty of car parking right outside! We were warmly greeted on arrival and made our way to the bar to meet other members of our party who had taken advantage of the special pre-show 3 course meal for £12.00 in the Stables own restaurant. Then into the auditorium itself! The lights went down and BOOM! The show had started! As their web site said: ‘Thundering rhythms on huge taiko drums interweave with delicate bamboo flute and subtle percussive soundscapes in a spellbinding display of fluid grace, precise choreography and sheer athleticism.’ Couldn’t have put it better myself! A brilliant and very different show in a cosy and informal auditorium which can seat up to 400. Henry and Gladys loved it too so we’re taking the grandchildren to the Stables Christmas Show - A Christmas Carol! The Stables Box Office can be reached on 01908 280800 or their website address is www.stables.org

With Archie Fairweather

SUNDAY ROASTS

Due to an overwhelming demand for professional chef Daniel’s Sunday Roasts, we have to recommend

that you pre-book your table well in advance!

CHRISTMAS PARTY BOOKINGS

NOW BEING TAKEN Daniel’s Christmas menu will soon be available which features a magnificent ‘Three Bird Roast’ as a speciality! Please ring or pop in for details.

VERY MANY THANKS

Sincere thanks to everybody who entered a pie in The Ampthill Charity Pie Festival and indeed to all

those who came along to taste a pie during the day! Thank you to the judges and many congratulations

to all the winners! Particular thanks too for the generosity of all those who contributed a raffle prize which enabled us to

raise more than £260.00 for Macmillan Cancer Care! And of course we must say a BIG thank you to all

those artistes who kept us so thoroughly entertained throughout the day!

QUIZ NIGHT EVERY WEDNESDAY

With our resident Quizmaster and his lovely assistant - starts at 9.00 pm. Also: 2 separate outside smoking areas 2 bars plus cosy lounge ideal for private conversations, meetings, book clubs etc - pop in and have a look!

TASTING EVENINGS WILL BE ON WEDNESDAY 1 DECEMBER AND FRIDAY 3 DECEMBER!

Fancy coming to try numerous food goodies accompanied by a glass of wine?! Tickets are

available from the shop at £10 each

CHRISTMAS CAKE AND CHRISTMAS PUDDING MAKING?

We hold the equipment to help you create the cakes and puddings of your dreams! Including tins, pudding

basins, string, muslin, cake boards, ribbons, icing, marzipan, cake decorations and much more!

CHRISTMAS THREE BIRD ROASTS AVAILABLE! Available in three different sizes and combinations,

deboned, ever so easy to cook and seriously delicious! For more info, please come and ask in the shop.

CHRISTMAS HAMPERS Hampers are a great idea for friends and family,

especially those who have ‘got everything’! Choose the contents, we’ll wrap it in cellophane and deliver a

beautifully finished hamper to you – easy!

Open 7 days a week Mon - Sat 9.00 - 17.30 + Sun 11.00 -17.00!

4b Bedford Street, Ampthill Tel: 01525 402023


U-teka-da-ronga-boats

West Sicily July 1972 During the summer of 1972, I enjoyed a couple of months in West Sicily with a team assembled by Honor Frost, pioneer of marine archaeology, I believe that initially the goal was to find evidence of a trireme. A dredger had brought up some arrow heads and other artefacts dating, apparently, from the Punic Wars, (~250BC). Photo is the dredger that found the artefacts. (We are NOT arguing!) Initially my role was as one of diver photographer and conservationist but with

plenty of good divers and OK photographers, I ended up doing the photographic processing and some conservation work. I also got some diving but the water was very boring, shallow water with a sandy/m u d d y bottom and very few exciting fish. The divers worked very hard in water that became murky as soon as someone waved a fin over the bottom, an inevitable occurrence. This made photography hard and processing harder! (Any things found that may be of interest to the project was

photographed before being disturbed) On land the conditions were primitive and far too hot for normal photographical processing but for the most

p a r t w e m a n a g e d . Most of the team slept in tents around the land base site but we had a large h o u s e w i t h o u t

windows or doors that we could use for cooking and laying out stuff on the floor, I had a corner of one room where I set up my photographic lab. The processing of film was hard because the chemicals were

always too hot and off the scale for timing! I had to practise with a few unwanted rolls to see what would work. We had a small enlarger which had been modified to run on 12 Volts; a Ford Transit van was parked by the window and leads lead from the battery to the enlarger, There was no dark room as such so all of my work was done at night. For quite a while we had no electricity so my “safe light” was a torch with a red plastic mug taped over the lens, it worked fine! Prof Reginald V Q da Ghama IPAWith kind permission of Jim Barr

To be continued ...

The dredger that found the artefacts

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One of our readers has been good enough to forward more of these very clever gems to us! At an Optometrist's Office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place." Door of a Plastic Surgeon's Office: "Hello. Can we pick your nose?" In a Veterinarian's Waiting Room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!" On a Maternity Room Door: "Push. Push. Push." In a Podiatrist's Office: "Time wounds all heels." Counselor’s Office: “Growing old is mandatory. Growing wise is optional.” Hospital Ward Door: “Visitors: HUSBANDS ONLY. ONE PER BED.” Tow Truck: “We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.” Muffler Shop: “No appointment necessary - we'll hear you coming.” Used Car Lot: Second Hand cars in first crash condition. At a Body Shop: May we have the next dents? At a tire shop: Invite us to your next blowout. Car Repair Shop: “I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder." Car mechanic: “Come see us if you need a brake.” At a car dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment." Midtown Bar: “Lunch now being poured.”Wonderful stuff! Many thanks indeed and if you have any more please do send them in.

Dunstable Street Ampthill Tel: 01525 403319

email: [email protected]

Open Monday - Thursday 11 am - 2 pm & 5 pm - 11 pm

OPEN ALL DAY FRIDAY, SATURDAY & SUNDAY!

CHOICE OF REAL ALES with a regular guest ale

WATCH ALL LIVE SPORTS EVENTS IN HD

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Sunday November 14th PRIZE QUIZ NIGHT 7.00 pm start £1.00 per

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Call: 07917 727 265 or 01234 768 706Email: [email protected]


FARMERS MARKETS The Farmers Market in Woburn is held on the third Sunday of every month at The Pitchings, whilst Ampthill Farmers Market is held on the last Saturday of each month at their new home at The Prince of Wales in Bedford Street, Ampthill. Don’t forget The Charter Market in Ampthill every Thursday and Flitwick Market on Fridays!

It’s always good to keep up! Q: Why do men's clothes have buttons on the right while women's clothes have buttons on the left?A: When buttons were invented, they were very expensive and worn primarily by the rich. Because wealthy women were dressed by maids, dressmakers put the buttons on the maid's right! Since most people are right-handed, it is easier to push buttons on the right through holes on the left. And that's where women's buttons have remained since. Q. Why do X's at the end of a letter signify kisses?A: In the Middle Ages, when many people were unable to read or write, documents were often signed using an X. Kissing the X represented an oath to fulfill obligations specified in the document. The X and the kiss eventually became synonymous. Q: Why is someone who is feeling great 'on cloud nine'?A: Types of clouds are numbered according to the altitudes theyattain, with nine being the highest cloud. If someone is said to be on cloud nine, that person is floating well above worldly cares.

Thanks once more for these pearls of wisdom!?

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FLOORING DECORATING

Laser / Strobes Lights may be used

Supported by The White Hart Hotel

Wed 1st Dec 2010Wed 1 Dec 2010

7 til 97pm til 9pmAges 13 – 16 years

You can pay on the door -£2.00 per person –Pick up p int b p nt / di n i 9pm t W itpoint by parents / guardian is 9pm at Waitrose.

For information contact: Nicola or Jane 07717313868 / 0797131269

* Photos will be taken for publications


With Lauren Louella Boughalls Well done to everybody who correctly identified last month’s photo as Ridgmont Church. For this month’s teaser Algi and I had been cycling again around the villages and spotted this little gem! But where is it and what was its use?

Answers by email to [email protected] or on a postcard to The Fuddler, PO Box 756 Ampthill Bedford MK45 2WZ Answer next month!

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Here we bring you more from the whimsical world of Montgolfier: A prisoner in the electric chair was asked if he would like a final cigarette or pint of beer. He replied ‘No thank you but I’d appreciate it if you would hold my hand. A friend said he didn’t expect to get into the forces as he is extremely short sighted. They said not to worry as they would put him in the front line. I was told that at th4e Battle of Hastings King Harold called out ‘Sergeant Major, stop those men skylarking around with their weapons or else they’ll poke someone’s eye out.’ Worried. If I became a Formula 1 racing driver and pranged my car, ripping off two wings and wheels and did couple of somersaults - would I lose my no claims bonus? A friend who is a jigsaw fanatic had just opened her latest purchase. On the front of the box was a picture of a lovely English pub complete with all its beautiful flowers. We both had a guess and thought it must be down in Hampshire. We were wrong, very wrong. It was the Blackbirds in Flitwick!

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be very pleased and proud and would have given me some extra attention and some treats. It was over a week later he found it and made an awful fuss about it. Anyway, there are several nice comfortable armchairs and settees in the sitting room to sleep on and although I did start off many weeks ago when I first came here on a favourite one, I do like swap about from one to the other. My current favourite is the one nearest the open fire as it is away from any draughts and has some lovely hand knitted cushions. When the fire gets lit it gets lovely and warm, although you have to be wary of flying bits of fire

to see me as usual then he realised I was very wet and my paws were quite dirty, what a fuss he made, muttering to himself about “she’ll be cross when she sees this” and “look at the mess you have made”. It was a nice soft white duvet though, and I soon got warmed up and clean. It is quite sunny this morning and I think I will go outside to see if there’s anything happening in the garden. The two tabbies are not around much lately but the black tom still gets about a bit. I seem to have the better of him now and he knows who is boss round here at the moment. O

...............Autumn Watch Now the weather is changing I’m spending more and more time inside the house. I still go out when it is sunny and warm and at night to get the odd unwary rodent. A few weeks ago I managed to get a very small and weird looking little fellow; turned out to be a shrew whatever that is. I overheard the large hairy human telling the lady about it, I was quite put out actually as he works during the day at his desk and I put the trophy of my previous nights foray on his bookshelf thinking he would find it straight away,

that could be quite tricky if they landed on my fur. I have also started to go upstairs with my male human when he goes to bed, he likes to read his book for a while, and quite often I try to snuggle underneath his arm to have a look at what he’s reading but he gets quite agitated about it and tries to pet me and get me to lie down. I give up mostly and go and lie at the bottom of the bed. The other morning I had to go outside quite early, call of nature sort of thing, it was raining hard and quite miserable, I came back in and as it was still early went upstairs to dry out and warm up, when he woke up he was pleased

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Get up to

VAT backon a wide range

of TVs

Open Season Blu-ray Disc™

© 2009 Sony Pictures Animation Inc.

All Rights Reserved.

Claim the VAT back on a wide range of TVs from Sonythis ChristmasNow with free 5 Year Guarantee

VAT back offer available in store today

*Cashback available only on selected Sony products purchased before 24 December 2010 whilst stocks last. Full price is payable in-store and Sony will refund 14.89% of the retail price you have paid which is equivalent to the VAT by Cashback. Please note the price that you have paid in the UK includes VAT at the standard 17.5% rate; this is added to the ‘net’ or ‘ex-VAT’ price of your Sony product to give the retail price you paid. Of the overall retail price, VAT constitutes 14.89% not 17.5%. Cashback must be claimed before 31 January 2011, Sony aims to process Cashback claims within 28 days of receipt. Exclusions and maximum claim limits apply; see the Terms and Conditions for full details. For participating stockists and further details visit sony.co.uk. “Sony”, “make.believe”, “BRAVIA” and their logos are registered trademarks of Sony Corporation. All other trademarks are the property of their respective owners.

£320Get up to

VAT backon a wide range

of TVs

Open Season Blu-ray Disc™

© 2009 Sony Pictures Animation Inc.

All Rights Reserved.

Claim the VAT back on a wide range of TVs from Sonythis ChristmasNow with free 5 Year Guarantee

VAT back offer available in store today

*Cashback available only on selected Sony products purchased before 24 December 2010 whilst stocks last. Full price is payable in-store and Sony will refund 14.89% of the retail price you have paid which is equivalent to the VAT by Cashback. Please note the price that you have paid in the UK includes VAT at the standard 17.5% rate; this is added to the ‘net’ or ‘ex-VAT’ price of your Sony product to give the retail price you paid. Of the overall retail price, VAT constitutes 14.89% not 17.5%. Cashback must be claimed before 31 January 2011, Sony aims to process Cashback claims within 28 days of receipt. Exclusions and maximum claim limits apply; see the Terms and Conditions for full details. For participating stockists and further details visit sony.co.uk. “Sony”, “make.believe”, “BRAVIA” and their logos are registered trademarks of Sony Corporation. All other trademarks are the property of their respective owners.

£320

The Fuddler November 2010

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Transcript of The Fuddler November 2010