What's Up Xtra Magazine Chicago November 2013

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NOVEMBER SPECIALSNOVEMBER SPECIALSNOVEMBER SPECIALS

PRIVATE PARTY ROOM CALL J.R. 773-281-1205

2158 N Halsted glascotts.com 773-281-1205

Sunday $6 Glascott’s

Home-made Bloody Marys $15 Domestic Buckets

Monday $5 Pints,

$5 Call Cocktails $7 Top Shelf Cocktails

Tuesday $4 Blue Moon & Magic Hat #9

$5 Glasses of Wine

Wednesday $4 Pints of Guinness, Harp,

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Thursday$3 Domestic Bottles

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6 out and about photos

7 ALL MIXED UP

8 news AND STUFF

12 ask the wino

13 HOROSCOPE

14 are you smarter than chester

16 BAND REVIEW

17 sudoku crossowrd wordfind

18 trivia open mic karaoke

20 BARTENDER OF THE MONTH

23 THINGS TO DO IN NOVEMBER

25-28 bar directory

29 tales from the chris

30 la las love letters

The name What’s Up Xtra Magazine is a registered trade name, and use of this name is strictly prohibited. The contents of this publication are copyrighted What’s Up Xtra Chicago Magazine -2012

We encourage our readers to write their stories, send photos, and make comments. All submissions sent to us by phone, email, fax, or handwritten become the property of What’s Up Xtra Chicago Magazine.

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keith romackpublisher

Lisa romackSales Director

Robert ChristiansenColumn Writer

Jon oberteditor

Suzi LichnerContributingjokester

lauren streccontributingwriter

JOSH LOBIANCOPHOTOGRAPHER

We are always on the lookout for dynamic writers, photographers and sales staff to contribute to our publi-cation If you are interested in joining our team or interested in advertising opportunities contact us at

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A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.He asked, “What are all those clocks?”

St. Peter answered, “Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move.”

“Oh,” said the man, “whose

clock is that?”

“That’s Mother Teresa’s. The hands have never moved,

indicating that she never told a lie.”

“Incredible,” said the man.

“That’s Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life,” St. Peter informed him.

“Where’s Obama’s clock?”

“His clock is in Jesus’s offi ce. He’s using it as a ceiling fan.”

Whose Clock?

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NO

V ALL MIXED UP by Lisa Romack

Ingredients1 oz Malibu Rum ¾ oz Canned Pumpkin Pie Filling ½ oz Kahlua 2 oz Cold Milk

Mix ingredients in blender with ice and blend thoroughly. Pour into graham cracker-rimmed highball glass and garnish with a sprinkle of cinnamon.

Ingredients1 ½ oz Scotch 1 oz Sweet VermouthDashes Angostura Bitters

Combine ingredients in a shaker fi lled with ice, shake and strain into a chilled martini or cocktail glass.

Ingredients1 oz Rye Whiskey ½ oz Red Grapefruit Juice ½ oz Simple Syrup Sparkling Wine

Pour the rye, grapefruit juice and simple syrup into a shaker. Shake over ice and strain into a chilled champagne fl ute. Then pour in chilled sparkling wine.

Pumpkin Pie

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NO

V ALL MIXED UP by Lisa Romack

Ingredients1 oz Malibu Rum ¾ oz Canned Pumpkin Pie Filling ½ oz Kahlua 2 oz Cold Milk

Mix ingredients in blender with ice and blend thoroughly. Pour into graham cracker-rimmed highball glass and garnish with a sprinkle of cinnamon.

Ingredients1 ½ oz Scotch 1 oz Sweet VermouthDashes Angostura Bitters

Combine ingredients in a shaker fi lled with ice, shake and strain into a chilled martini or cocktail glass.

Ingredients1 oz Rye Whiskey ½ oz Red Grapefruit Juice ½ oz Simple Syrup Sparkling Wine

Pour the rye, grapefruit juice and simple syrup into a shaker. Shake over ice and strain into a chilled champagne fl ute. Then pour in chilled sparkling wine.

Pumpkin Pie

Thistle Cocktail

S p a r k l i n g Rye Cocktail

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News & Stuff

Samsung Introduces Its New Smartwatch

It’s been 40 years since comic book hero Dick Tracy used his watch as a two-way radio. All the kids wanted one. Now, you can have a watch that’s even better than Dick Tracy’s.

Samsung’s new Galaxy Gear smartwatch ($299) was introduced recently, and other makers are working on one. Samsung’s watch has to be paired with its Galaxy Note 3 smartphone. When you sync Galaxy Gear with Note 3 (via low-energy Blue-tooth), it responds to voice commands. You can make or answer calls, glance at texts, emails, and other alerts at your wrist. The Gear also doubles as a pedometer, stopwatch, timer and music player.

If you walk away from the Note 3, the phone screen with auto-matically lock, then unlock when you get closer.

Some Companies Won't Hire SmokersA growing number of organizations refuse to hire people who smoke. They say smokers raise health insurance costs, and miss work more often.

The U.S. smoking rate is about 20 percent, except for those 65 and older, who are half as likely to smoke. People looking for a job would be wise to quit before fi lling out an application, according to the AARP Bulletin.

Technology and You: It's Game Time!Sony has set November 15 for the debut of its new PlayStation 4 videogame console. That's about the same time that rival Microsoft is expected to start selling the new Xbox One.

The PlayStation 4

Sony hasn't released a new game console since 2006 when it came out with PlayStation 3. Since then, it has sold 70 million units. The new console promises to have even more sales. It has had pre-orders for millions of units.

Sony is acquiring new technologies to help it stream games to handheld devices. At $399, the PlayStation 4 will cost $100 less than Microsoft's new offering. Sony is reducing the price of its PlayStation Vita handheld console to $199 from $249. It is also creating a streaming game service that does all the intricate computational work than beams the images over the Web to the console.

The Microsoft Xbox OneMicrosoft plans to launch its competing Xbox sometime in November. It will be its fi rst new model since 2005 when it released the Xbox 360, which has sold more than 78 million units.

Without new hardware, sales of all game consoles have fallen worldwide. Now Microsoft is emphasizing broader possibili-ties than game playing for the Xbox One. It has such features such as live television viewing and interactions with its Kinect motion controller. It can layer images from a server into im-ages created by the video game console.

The Future of Video Game ConsolesAnalysts expect both consoles will sell strongly at fi rst, but whether those devices, as well as Nintendo Wii U, released last year, can experience the same success over time as their predecessors remains unclear. As more people play free or inexpensive games on PCs and mobile devices, Sony, Micro-soft and Nintendo are feeling more pressure to attract gamers to their products.


Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, stag-gers up to them, and points at the guy in the middle,

shouting, "Your

mom's the best

sex in town!"

Everyone ex-pects a fi ght, but the guy ignores him, so the drunk wanders off and

bellies up to the bar at the far end. Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back, points at the same guy, and says, "I just did your mom, and it was sweet!"

Again the guy refuses to take the bait, and the drunk goes back to the far end of the bar. Ten minutes later, he comes back and announces, "Your mom liked it!"

Finally the guy stands up and shouts, "Go home, Dad, you're drunk!"

Three Guys... Life is short, live it. Love is rare, grab it. Anger is bad, dump it. Fear is awful, face it. A memory is sweet, cherish it. Unknown

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A guy goes in a bar and starts talking with the man sitting next to him. They drink for a while and after some conversation they fi nd out one is rich, one is poor and they both have wives with a birthday coming up.

The rich guy tells his new friend that he is getting his wife a beau-tiful diamond ring and a Ferrari for her birthday. The poor man asks, “Why in the hell would you get her both?”

The rich guy replies, “That way if she does not like the ring she can drive the car the jewelry store to return the ring.”

The poor man says, “Wow, I just got my wife a pair of fl ip fl ops and a dildo.”

The rich confused asks, “Why would you get her that combina-tion of gifts?”

The poor man re-plied, “That way if she doesn't like the fl ip fl ops she can go screw herself!”

Big Birthday Coming UpNothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal. Thomas Jefferson,

principal author of the Declaration of Independence

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NOVEMBER HOROSCOPEARIES: Take care to keep your temper in check. It's too easy for you to shake up people when you think you're just venting. It may be hard to relate to certain people now.

TAURUS: You're having a sense of ownership over something that might not really be yours. Try to let it go as much as you can. It's a really good time for you to reconsider.

GEMINI: You are beginning to feel a powerful romantic attraction. You could be entering a danger zone if it's for someone at work. Avoid fl irting and walk away.

CANCER: If your boss wants you to take on a signifi cant project, but you aren't sure, take it anyway. Have faith in yourself. The boss is a good judge of your capabilities.

LEO: Look beyond the obvious and you will be able to determine what isn't being said. In some situations there's more telling than what you can hear.

VIRGO: November will be a lucky month for you. Partly because of work you've done already and partly because your potential is being recognized. You've created your luck.

LIBRA: You are especially slick now. That could take you far as you grease the wheels of progress and smooth out relationships among co-workers.

SCORPIO: The stars say there's nothing bad about being a Scorpio. You are determined and forceful while being emotional, intuitive, exciting, and magnetic. Wow.

SAGITTARIUS: It's time to consider the status of your health, which you haven't done for a while. See a doctor for a checkup to determine what areas need more attention.

CAPRICORN: When you attend a big family Thanksgiv-ing dinner, take your "live and let live" attitude with you. Some relatives are loving, but some are just aggravat-ing.

AQUARIUS: You're generally in control of your fi nanc-es, but Christmas buying could trip you up. Don't let it happen this year. Plan now for what you can and will do.

PISCES: It might feel like you're a fi sh out of water when it comes to the company Christmas party. It's coming up, so decide now to have a nice time. But be careful about what you will say and when.


Ask The Wino…Taking questions

On a tour of the facilities, the new CEO noticed a guy leaning against a wall. The room was full of work-ers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business. He stopped and in a stern voice asked the guy, “How much money do you make a week?”

A little surprised, the young man looked at him and said, “I make about $400 a week. Why?”

The CEO said, “Wait right here.” He walked back to his offi ce, came back in two minutes and handed the guy $1,600 in cash and said, “Here's four weeks' pay. Now get out and don't come back!”

Feeling pretty good about himself the CEO looked around the room and asked, “Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-ball did here?”

From across the room a voice said, “That was the pizza delivery guy sir.”

The Heated Boardroom

Jules, a Health Care worker asks:I’m a vegetarian and its not always easy to eat properly. I do choose this lifestyle. Why do people make fun of my choice?

WINO: What is wrong with you girl? Raw steak, crispy bacon I could go on and on. I’d rather nail my privates to a park bench with my fl ip fl ops

Jack, construction worker asks:Boxers or Briefs? I’ve heard briefs can cause damage if you know what I mean.

WINO: It don’t matter none, just make sure you change em often. Craziest thing my old dark and curly’s grown right through my drawers.

Terry, a teacher asks: I was thinking of getting some work done. Do you approve of plastic surgery?

WINO: My Old Lady Betsy needed some help. That old bag o bones looked like her breasts were running away from her face and don’t get me started on the back side.

WINO: Junk Digler

Likes: Roofs, High fi ves and Buf-falo WIngs

Dislikes: Roofs with leaks, wet shoes and dirty drawers


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NOVEMBER HOROSCOPEARIES: Take care to keep your temper in check. It's too easy for you to shake up people when you think you're just venting. It may be hard to relate to certain people now.

TAURUS: You're having a sense of ownership over something that might not really be yours. Try to let it go as much as you can. It's a really good time for you to reconsider.

GEMINI: You are beginning to feel a powerful romantic attraction. You could be entering a danger zone if it's for someone at work. Avoid fl irting and walk away.

CANCER: If your boss wants you to take on a signifi cant project, but you aren't sure, take it anyway. Have faith in yourself. The boss is a good judge of your capabilities.

LEO: Look beyond the obvious and you will be able to determine what isn't being said. In some situations there's more telling than what you can hear.

VIRGO: November will be a lucky month for you. Partly because of work you've done already and partly because your potential is being recognized. You've created your luck.

LIBRA: You are especially slick now. That could take you far as you grease the wheels of progress and smooth out relationships among co-workers.

SCORPIO: The stars say there's nothing bad about being a Scorpio. You are determined and forceful while being emotional, intuitive, exciting, and magnetic. Wow.

SAGITTARIUS: It's time to consider the status of your health, which you haven't done for a while. See a doctor for a checkup to determine what areas need more attention.

CAPRICORN: When you attend a big family Thanksgiv-ing dinner, take your "live and let live" attitude with you. Some relatives are loving, but some are just aggravat-ing.

AQUARIUS: You're generally in control of your fi nanc-es, but Christmas buying could trip you up. Don't let it happen this year. Plan now for what you can and will do.

PISCES: It might feel like you're a fi sh out of water when it comes to the company Christmas party. It's coming up, so decide now to have a nice time. But be careful about what you will say and when.


Ask The Wino…Taking questions

On a tour of the facilities, the new CEO noticed a guy leaning against a wall. The room was full of work-ers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business. He stopped and in a stern voice asked the guy, “How much money do you make a week?”

A little surprised, the young man looked at him and said, “I make about $400 a week. Why?”

The CEO said, “Wait right here.” He walked back to his offi ce, came back in two minutes and handed the guy $1,600 in cash and said, “Here's four weeks' pay. Now get out and don't come back!”

Feeling pretty good about himself the CEO looked around the room and asked, “Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-ball did here?”

From across the room a voice said, “That was the pizza delivery guy sir.”

The Heated Boardroom

Jules, a Health Care worker asks:I’m a vegetarian and its not always easy to eat properly. I do choose this lifestyle. Why do people make fun of my choice?

WINO: What is wrong with you girl? Raw steak, crispy bacon I could go on and on. I’d rather nail my privates to a park bench with my fl ip fl ops

Jack, construction worker asks:Boxers or Briefs? I’ve heard briefs can cause damage if you know what I mean.

WINO: It don’t matter none, just make sure you change em often. Craziest thing my old dark and curly’s grown right through my drawers.

Terry, a teacher asks: I was thinking of getting some work done. Do you approve of plastic surgery?

WINO: My Old Lady Betsy needed some help. That old bag o bones looked like her breasts were running away from her face and don’t get me started on the back side.

WINO: Junk Digler

Likes: Roofs, High fi ves and Buf-falo WIngs

Dislikes: Roofs with leaks, wet shoes and dirty drawers


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CHESTER “The Sock Monkey”?

Answers

THE LIGHTER SIDE

Borrow a NewspaperI was visiting my granddaughter last night when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper.

"This is the 21st century," she said. "We don't buy news-papers. Here, use my iPad."

I can tell you this. That fl y never knew what hit him.

New Company PolicyWhen the company president learned that his employ-ees were tanking up on no-odor vodka during their lunch hours, he issued the following memo:

To all employees: If you must drink during your lunch hours, please drink whiskey. It's better for our customers to know you're drunk than to think you're stupid.

A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Want to hear a blonde joke?"

In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something. Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still want to tell that joke?"

The blind guy replied, "Nah, not if I'm going to have to explain it fi ve times."

Want To Hear A Blond Joke?

A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son.

They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.

The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy.

The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son.

He was horrifi ed at the ugliest child he had ever seen.

He told his wife, “There's no way I can be the father of this baby. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back?'

The wife smiled sweetly and replied, “No, not this time!”

Let’s Have A Son

1. Which President was the fi rst to establish Thanksgiving as a legal national holiday to be held the 4th Thursday in November?(a) Abraham Lincoln (b) Franklin D. Roosevelt (c) Thomas Jeffer-son (d) James Madison2. In Canada, they celebrate Thanksgiving in what month? (a) November (b) October (c) September (d) May3. The pilgrims took beer with them on their voyage. True or False?4. Butterball says the best place to put the meat thermometer in the turkey is:(a) Breast (b) Thigh (c) Top of Leg (d) At an angle so it hits both the meat and stuffi ng5. Every year the President of the US pardons a turkey and it goes to a public farm called Frying Pan Park, Herndon, VA. Which president is believed to be the fi rst to pardon a turkey and start this annual tradition?(a) President Andrew Jackson (b) President Millard Fillmore (c) President Harry Truman (d) President Warren Harding6. Turkeys can drown if they look up in the rain. True or False?7. Back in the early 1600's, the pilgrims didn't have which of the following utensils to eat their Thanksgiving meal with?(a) Spoons (b) Forks (c) Knives8. Plymouth Rock today is as big as:(a) The size of a car engine (b) The size of the nose on a face on Mt. Rushmore (c) The size of a regular mailbox9. There were two ways to cook a turkey back in 1627. One was to roast it using strings and skewers and spinning it verti-cally. The other was done by using a "tin kitchen" which was set inside the hearth and allowed the turkey to be cooked on a spit and turned. But, the tin kitchen was only for the wealthier. It cost $3 back then. What was that equivalent to?(a) A day's pay (b) A week's pay (c) A month's pay

10. Why is Thanksgiving always observed on a Thursday?(a) The pilgrims felt it was sacrilegious to have a party on the holy Sabbath day (Sunday) (b) It took a lot of time and work to prepare all of this and by Thursday they were done and had to eat it all before things spoiled (c) The pilgrims went to church twice a week; Sundays and mid-prayer on Thursdays. They wanted to use the mid-prayer day as a day of thanksgiving

1. Franklin D. Roosevelt2. October3. True4. Thigh5. President Harry Truman

6. True7. Forks8. The size of a car engine9. A week’s pay10. c


Shiver is the new release by Chicagoland based powerhouse Psycho Sis-ter and judging by the their debut offering, this band has serious potential to be the next big breakout act from the area.

From the opening salvos of the fi rst track “Car-nage” and continuing to the crunching fi nale “Dreams”, Shiver is an explosive heat-seeking missile of fi rst-rate heavy rock. Rather than employ the mindless screaming and one-dimensional mu-sicality that many metal bands embrace these days, Psycho Sister takes the creative high road and proves that melody and inspired writing do have a place in this genre.

Lead vocalist Dawn Casey Perreault, guitarist Mark Perreault, bassist Jerome Allen and drummer Scott Turk Tyrcha Sr. are operating on all cylinders here both musically and dynamically. Dawns’ delivery is that of a sinister Grace Slick, draped in leather, powerful and ballsy. The guitars on this release are a cornucopia of tasty licks and hook laden riffs reminiscent of classic Judas Priest. Meanwhile, the rhythm section is a virtual thrill ride of pounding, crushing madness. Not to be left out, engineer Larry Kriz of LnL Recording does a magnifi cent job here, capturing the band as they were meant to be heard.

While there is nothing that can be considered as “fi ller” on this album, standout tracks include “Carnage”, “Sorrow”, “Punchbox”, “Dreams of Fortune”, “Dirty” and the devilishly clever “Dead”.

Shiver is best played in your car, windows down, riding the open highway with the volume set to kill. But however you choose to listen to this release, you will fi nd your head banging, hands drumming and feet stomping.

As exceptional as they are in the studio, bear in mind that Psycho Sister should also be on your short list of bands to catch live. In concert, Dawn commands the stage like a demented preacher in a tent show revival. The show is a perfect storm visually and soni-cally; Dawn and Mark are the lightning while Jerome and Scott provide the thunder.

Shiver is available for purchase now at Amazon, iTunes and CD Universe among others. Links can be found at the bands website www.psychosisterband.com. You can also fi nd the band at their Facebook page www.facebook.com/PsychoSisterSicMindMusic.

Psycho Sister will be performing Saturday November 9th at LIVE WIRE, 3394 N. Milwaukee Ave in Chicago and Saturday November 16th at PHYLLIS’S MUSICAL INN located at 1800 W Division, also in Chicago. Be sure to check out Joliet Dave at www.facebook.com/jolietdaveoffi cial

live music

PSYCHO SISTERby “Joliet” Dave


SUDOKURules: Every row, column and 3x3 box must have numbers 1 to 90

WORD SEARCH

SOME LIKE IT HOT

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Trivia Every Monday

The Beetle2532 W Chicago Ave, Chicago

Buffalo Wild Wings7020 Carpenter Rd, Chicago

Kirkwood Bar & Grill2934 N Sheffi eld Ave, Chicago

Every TuesdayThe Reservoir

844 W Montrose Ave, ChicagoSchubas Tavern

3159 N Southport Ave, ChicagoSheffi eld's

3258 N Sheffi eld Ave, Chicago The Garage Bar & Sandwiches

6154 N Milwaukee Ave, Chicago

Every WednesdayFizz Bar & Grill

3220 N Lincoln Ave, Chicago

Four Farthings (8:00pm)2060 N Cleveland Ave, Chicago

Every ThursdayFizz Bar & Grill

3220 N Lincoln Ave, ChicagoRockit Burger Bar

3700 N Clark St, Chicago

Open MicEvery Tuesday

Four Treys (10:00pm)3333N Damen, ChicagoPressure Billiards & Cafe 6318 N Clark St, Chicago

Every ThursdayRed Line Tap

7006 N Glenwood Ave, Chicago

Every Sunday Kitchen Sink

1107 W Berwyn Ave, Chicago

KaraokeEvery Tuesday

Bonsai Bar & Lounge 3503 N Halsted St, Chicago

Every ThursdayCarol’s Pub (9:00pm-4:00am)

4659 N Clark, ChicagoFour Farthings (9:30pm)

2060 N Cleveland Ave, Chicago

Every FridayMCM Pub & Eatery (8:00pm)3906 N Cicero Ave, Chicago

Peek Inn (9:00pm)2825 W Irving Park Rd, Chicago

Every SaturdayFour Farthings (10:30pm)

2060 N Cleveland Ave, ChicagoFour Treys (10:00pm)

3333 N Damen, Chicago MCM Pub & Eatery (8:00pm)3906 N Cicero Ave, Chicago

Dueling PianosEvery Thursday,

Friday & Saturday Sluggers(9:00pm)

3540 N Clark, Chicago

Call 773-288-9400 to list your Trivia,

Karaoke, Open Mic, and Dueling Piano Nights


CLUB BELMONT

The Booze is Cheap & The Entertainment is Free!!!

Sick and Wrong!!!

LANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUBLANDMARK PUB

BIKES, BABES

& BOOZE

7844 W. Belmont773.589.2808 5135 N. Oriole

Harwood Heights 708.867.6533

Big John’s

For Americans in their late 50s and older, the assassination of President John F. Kennedy was a watershed moment, a blip in time so shocking that everyone can say just where they were and what they were doing. The events of November 23, 1963 should be crystal clear for older adults, but it can hardly be forgotten by people of any age, given the dozens of movies and conspiracy theories.

The assassination of President Kennedy occurred during an es-pecially turbulent period in U.S. history. Externally, the nation was just recovering from 13 days of fear during the Cuban Missile Cri-sis in October 1962. School children practiced bomb drills in an-ticipation of an attack on the mainland. Parents wondered aloud what good bomb drills would do if a nuclear war ensued. People dug bomb shelters but life went on.

Unfortunately for many people, life in the America during the 1960s and 1970s wasn't fair or free, and the great Civil Right Movement began.

In an era when the nation moved from shock to shock, on that day in November, the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr., predicted his own assassination, "This is what is going to happen to me too." His words were quoted by Coretta, his wife, in books and magazines. Five years later in 1968, King's prediction came true in April. Later that year in June, Robert Kennedy was also assassinated.

The Vietnam peace movement gained steam by 1965 and protests continued into the 1970s.

The coming years will see many 50th anniversaries of the dramatic events of the 1960s, beginning with the assassination of Presi-dent Kennedy.

JFK - 50 Years Ago


Out & About

who’s your

favorite

bartender?

OCTOBER BARTENDER OF THE MONTH IS...

Rules: All service employees are eligible to win. The service employee who receives the most votes in the month wins. You can submit your vote by texting (773) 288-9400 or go to facebook.com/whatsupxtramagazine “like” our page and vote under the bartender’s photo .Only two votes are counted per person and voting polls close on November 20th. *The Pub Crawl will begin at the employee of the months bar and the limo bus will accommodate 24 passengers. Gratuity not included and must be paid prior to service

CONGRATULATIONS

RJWrightwood

Tap1059 W Wrightwood

traWX VOTE FOR YOUR FAVORITE NOVEMBER BARTENDER

Go to facebook.com/whatsupxtramagazine ‘Like’ the page and ‘Like’ or comment on the bartenders

photo or text 773.288.9400The winner will receive a 4 hour limo bus from

LIMOSALIVE.NET for 24 of their friends.

Bartender: KasiaSnickers Bar & Grill448 N State St, Chicago

Signature Drink: Polish AppleIngredients: Zubrowka Polish Vodkas, Apple Juice

Words of Wisdom: “Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.”

Bartender: MashaBabes4416 N Milwaukee Signature Drink: Raspberry MartiniIngredients: Raspberry Pucker, Vodka, Triple Sec, 7-Up

Words of Wisdom: “Don't let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.”

Bartender: KellyMcGee’s Tavern & Grille950 W Webster Ave, Chicago

Signature Drink: O BombIngredients: Orange Vodka, Redbull

Words of Wisdom: “A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.”

21FACEBOOK.COM/WHATSUPXTRAMAGAZINE 773.213.4597traWX WHATS UP XTRA

Out & About

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Augie’s Augie’s

Augie’s

Augie’s page 9Augie’s

Snickers

SluggersSluggers

Sluggers

Sluggers


Out & About

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The Four Treys

WWW.WHATSUPXTRA.COM 773.213.4597 WWW.WHATSUPXTRA.COM 773.213.4597 WWW.WHATSUPXTRA.COM 773.213.4597

The Four TreysThe Four Treys

Tavern

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The Four Treys

WWW.WHATSUPXTRA.COM 773.213.4597tratratratratratraWWWXXXXXXtraXtratraXtraXXXtraXtratraXtraXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXWXWWXWWXWWXWWXWWXWWXWX

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Beer Tasting November 2, 2013 Taste craft beer and vote for the best at Chicago Beer Society’s Fall Tasting & Dinner at Reza’s Restaurant on Ontario St.

Beer Festival November 8 - 9, 2013 Beer Hoptacular is all about celebrating craft beers, voting for the best, and hearing live music at Lacuna Artist Loft Studios.

Holidays of Light November 14, 2013 - Jan. 5, 2014 See trees decorated to represent many cul-tures plus weekend ethnic song-and-dance performances during Christmas Around the World and Holidays of Light at the Museum of Science & Industry.

Wood-Aged Beer Festival November 16, 2013 Enjoy beer with exotic fl avors at the Festi-val of Wood and Barrel Aged Beer, billed as the country’s largest celebration of wood-and-barrel-aged beer at the Bridgeport Art Center.

MARK YOUR NOVEMBER CALENDARFood and Film Festival November 21 - 23, 2013 With a ticket to Food Film Fest, you get to see fi lms about the world’s fa-vorite foods and eat them at the same time, at Kendall College.

Magnifi cent Mile Lights Festival November 23, 2013 The Magnifi cent Mile Lights Festival begins midday with family events at Lights Festival Lane in Pioneer Court. The 5:30 p.m. Tree-Lighting Parade starts at Oak Street and runs down Michigan Avenue to the Chicago Riv-er, ending in fi reworks. All free.

Bacon, Sports, and Beer November 23, 2013 Bacon, Sports and Beer Celebration is billed as a hat trick of awesomeness. Sample bacon-inspired creations from 30 restaurants, taste 30 craft beers, and play indoor games to DJ music in the Grand Hall at Union Station. Re-quires pre-ticket and adult ID.

Muscle Car Show November 23 - 24, 2013 Muscle Car and Corvette Nationals is an indoor showcase of 500 high-horse-power cars that includes “unveilings” and events for kids at the Rosemont conven-tion center.

Holiday market November 26, 2013 Chicago’s Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony, which includes a music pro-gram on Daley Plaza. Christmas Market

Thanksgiving Parade November 28, 2013 State Street from Congress to Washing-ton. Free.

Zoo Lights Nov. 29, 2013 - Jan. 5, 2014 ZooLights at the Lincoln Park Zoo

Holiday Magic At The Zoo Nov. 30 - Dec. 31, 2013 at the Brookfi eld Zoo. Check their website for details


Out & About

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Trinity Pub Trinity Pub

Trinity PubTrinity Pub

25FACEBOOK.COM/WHATSUPXTRAMAGAZINE 773.213.4597tratratraWX WHATS UP XTRAFACEBOOK.COM/WHATSUPXTRAMAGAZINE 773.213.4597

tratratraWX BAR DIRECTORYWhere are you going tonight?:

Lakeview East - Wrigleyville - Southport

Bar Celona 3474 N. Clark 773-244-8000

Bendan’s Pub 3169 N. Broadway 773-929-2929

Bernie’s 3664 N Clark 773-525-1898

Big City 1010 W. Belmot 773-935-1138

Blarney Stone 3424 N. Sheffi eld 773-348-1078

Brew & View 3145 N. Sheffi eld 773-929-7150

Buck’s Saloon 3439 N. Halsted 773-525-1125

Clark Street Bar 3040 N. Clark 773-281-6690

Coobah 3423 N. Southport 773-528-2220

Cubby Bear 1059 W Addison 773-327-1662

Cullen’s Bar 3741 N. Southport 773-975-0600

Dram Shop 3040 N. Broadway 773-549-4401

Fiesta Cantina 3407 N. Clark 773-975-5980

Friar Tucks 3010 N. Broadway 773-327-5101

Full Shilling 3724 N. Clark 773-248-3330

Goose Island 3535 N. Clark 773-832-9040

Higgins Tavern 3259 N. Racine 773-281-7637

Holiday Club 4000 N. Sheridan 773-348-9600

Irish Oak 3511 N. Clark

Jack’s Bar 2856 N Southport 773-404-8400

Jacklyn’s Bar 3400 N. Broadway 773-404-5149

Jake’s Pub 2932 N Clark 773-248-3318

Joe’s On Broadway 3563 N Broadway 773-528-1054

John Barleycorns 3524 N. Clark 773-549-6000

Justin’s 3358 N Southport 773-929-4844

Kit Kat Lounge 3700 N Halsted 773-525-1111

L&L Tavern 3207 N. Clark 773-528-1303

Little Jim’s 3501 N. Halsted 773-871-6116

Lucky’s 3 472 N. Clark 773-549-0665

Mad River 2909 N. Sheffi eld 773-935-7500

Matilda 3101 N Sheffi eld 773-883-4400

Matisse 674 W. Diversey 773-528-6670

Merkles 3516 N Clark 773-244-1025

Metro Smart Bar 3730 N Clark 773-549-4140

Monsignor Murphys 3019 N. Broadway 773-348-7285

Mullen’s 3527 N Clark 773-325-2319

Murphys Bleachers 3655 N. Sheffi eld 773-281-5356

Mystic Celt 3443 N. Southport 773-529-8550

Newport Bar 1344 W Newport 773-325-9111

Nick’s Uptown 4015 N Sheridan 773-975-1155

North End 3733 N Halsted 7 73-477-7999

Paddy Long’s 1028 W Diversey 773-348-9711

Parrots Bar 754 W Wellington 773-281-7878

Piano Bar 3801 N. Clark 773-528-4033

Raw Bar & Grill 3720 N Clark St 773-348-7291

Rebel Bar 3462 N. Clark 773-348-9084

Redmond’s 3358 N Sheffi eld 773-404-2151

Roadhouse 66 3330 N. Clark 773-525-8166

Rockit Bar 3700 N.Clark 773-645-4400

Rocks 3463 N. Broadway 773-472-0493

Roscoe’s 3356 N. Halsted 773-281-3355

Schoolyard 3258 N Southport 773-528-8226

Schubas Tavern 3159 N Southport 773-525-2508

Sheffi eld’s 3258 N Sheffi eld 773-281-4989

Sidetracks 3349 N. Halsted 773-477-9189

Sluggers 3540 N Clark 773-248-0055

Smart Bar 3730 N Clark 773-549-4140

Sopo 3418 N. Southport 773-348-0100

Southport Lanes 3325 N. Southport 773-472-6600

Sports Corner 952 W. Addison 773-929-1441

Take 5 Bar 3747. Southport 773-871-5555

Toon’s 3857 N. Southport 773-935-1919

Town Hall Pub 3340 N Halsted 773-472-4405

Trace 3714 N. Clark 773-477-3400

Trader Todd’s 3216 N Sheffi eld 773-348-3250

Vaughans Pub 2917 N. Sheffi eld 773-281-8188

Vines 3554 N. Clark 773-327-8572

Wrigleyville North 3900 N Sheridan 773-929-9543

Yak-Zies Bar 3710 N Clark 773-525-9200

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McGinny's Tap 313 W. North 773-943-5228

Mickey's 2450 N. Clark 773-435-0007

O' Brien's 1528 N. Wells 312-787-3131

Old Town Ale 219 W. North 773-944-7020

Old Town Pub 1339 N. Wells 773-266-6789

O'Malley's West 2249 N. Lincoln 773-935-2719

Orso's 1401 N. Wells 773-787-6604

Ravens 2326 N. Clark 773-348-1774

River Shannon 425 W. Armitage 773-944-5087

Rocks 1301 W. Schubert 773-472-7728

Saluki Bar 1208 N. Wells 773-274-1824

Suite Lounge 1446 N. Wells 773-787-6106

The Apartment 2251 N. Lincoln 773-348-5100

The Local Option 1102 W. Webster 773-348-2008

The Other Side 2436 N. Clark 773-525-8238

Tin Lizzie 2483 N. Clark 773-549-1132

Tonic Room 2447 N. Halsted 773-248-8400

Weeds 1555 N. Dayton 312-943-7815

Wellingtons 1300 W. Wellington 773-528-0654

Wise Fools Pub 2270 N. Lincoln 773-929-1300

Witts 2913 N. Lincoln 773-528-7032

Wrightwood Tap 1059 W. Wrightwood 773-459-4949

BAR DIRECTORY Where are you going tonight?:

Lincoln Park & Old TownAugie's 1721 W. Wrightwood 773-296-0018

Bird's Nest 2500 N. Southport 773-472-1502

Blue's 2519 N. Halsted 773-525-8317

Burton's Place 1447 N. Wells 773-664-4699

Burwood Tap 7242 W. Wrightwood 773-525-2593

Clybar 2 417 N. Clybourn 773-388-1877

Corcoran's 1615 N. Wells 773-440-0885

Delilah's 2771 N. Lincoln 773-472-2771

Duffy's 422 W. Diversey 773-549-9090

Durkin's 810 W. Diversey 773-525-2515

Elbo Room 2817 N. Lincoln 773-549-5549

Field House Pub 2455 N. Clark 773-348-6489

Four Farthings 2060 N. Cleveland 773-935-2060

Frank's 2503 N. Clark 773-549-2700

Galway Arms 2442 N. Clark 773-472-5555

Gamekeepers 345 W. Armitage 773-549-0400

Glascott's 2158 N. Halsted 773-281-1205

Goose Island 1800 N. Clybourn 773-915-0071

Halligan's Pub 2274 N. Lincoln 773-472-7940

Halsted Harp 2138 N. Halsted 773-348-3665

Hidden Shamrock 2732 N. Lincoln 773-883-0304

Irish Eyes 2519 N. Lincoln 773-348-9548

Joe's Sports Bar 940 W. Weed 773-337-3486

John Barleycorn 2300 N. Lincoln 773-348-8899

John's Place 1200 W. Webster 773-525-6670

Kelly's Pub 949 W. Webster 773-281-0656

Kendall's Pub 2263 N. Lincoln 773-348-7200

Kincade's 950 W. Armitage 773-348-0010

Kingston Mines 2548 N. Halsted 773-477-4646

Lincoln Station 2432 N. Lincoln 773-472-8100

Lincoln Tap 3010 N. Lincoln 773-868-0060

Lion Head Pub 2251 N. Lincoln 773-348-5100

Max Bar 2247 N. Lincoln 773-549-5884

McGee's 950 W. Webster 773-549-8200

A husband and wife decide to make a password for sex in case the children are in the room. They decide their secret phrase will be “washing machine”.

Later that night, while they are getting the little ones ready for bed, the husband says, “Washing machine.”

The wife replied, “Not tonight darling I have a sore head.”About a half an hour passes and she feels guilty so she says, “Washing machine.”

The husband replied, “Too late my love, it was only a small load so I decided to do it by hand.”

Code Word: Washing Machine


BAR DIRECTORYWhere are you going tonight?:BAR DIRECTORY Where are you going tonight?:

Lincoln Park & Old Town Northwest Paddy Macks 4157 N. Pulaski 773-279-9300

Rabbits 4945 W Foster 773-736-5766

Roman’s 6448 N. Milwaukee 773-467-9827

Sidekicks 4424 W Montrose 773-545-6212

Six Penny Bit 5800 W. Montrose 773-545-2033

Thatch Pub 5707 N. Milwaukee 773-763-8179

Three Counties 5856 N. Milwaukee 773-631-3351

Tommy’s 6954 W Higgins 773-631-4451

Trinity Pub 5943 N. Northwest 773-763-0095

Vaughan’s Pub 5485 Northwest 773-631-9206

Windsor Tavern 4530 N. Milwaukee 773-736-3400

Zachary’s 5368 N Milwaukee 773-792-0933

Babe’s 4416 N. Milwaukee 773-545-3137

Bill’s Pub 4104 N. Pulaski 773-202-0020

Brigadoon 5748 W Lawrence 773.777.2403

Cabaret Lounge 6101 W. Montrose 773-736-2337

Casual Tap 5924 W Montrose 773-283-9490

Charlotte’s Bar 6000 W Gunnison 773-775-3616

Club Belmont 7844 W. Belmont 773-598-2808

Di’s Den 5100 W Irving Park 773-736-7170

Dugan’s 6051 N. Milwaukee 773-467-5555

Edison Park Inn 6713 N. Olmsted 773-775-1404

Emerald Isle Pub 2537 W Peterson 773-561-6674

Fantasy Lounge 4400 N Elston 773-685-8083

Filonek’s 6213 N. Milwaukee 773-775-5010

Galvin’s Public 5901 W Lawrence 773-205-0570

Gladstone’s 5734 N. Milwaukee 773-763-3385

Ham Tree Inn 5333 N. Milwaukee 773-792-2072

Harry’s On Elston 5943 N. Elston 773-774-4166

Harwood Bar 6438 W. Montrose 708-867-7781

Hops N Barley 4359 N Milwaukee 773-286-7415

Jet’s Public Hou 6148 N. Milwaukee 773-775-7587

Jimmy Macks 5581 N. Northwest 773-631-1466

Joe E’s Lounge 4206 W Irving Park 773-283-3422

Landmark Pub 5135 N. Oriole 773-867-6533

Lasko’s 5525 N Milwaukee 773-774-9800

Lizard Lounge 3058 W. Irving Park 773-463-7599

Margaret’s 5134 W. Irving Park 773-685-4493

Mary’s Place 6300 N. Milwaukee 773-775-7587

MCM Pub 3906 N. Cicero 773-736-2644

McNamaras 4328 W Irving Park 773-725-1800

Mo Dailey’s 6070 N. Northwest Hwy 773-774-6121

Moretti’s 6727 N. Olmsted 773-631-1223

Mrs. O’Leary’s 4368 N. Milwaukee 773-427-7300

Mug Shots 7718 W. Addison 773-625-8466

Murrays 5522 N Elston 773-774-3466

Night Caps 5007 W Irving Park 773-282-8654

Nil’s Tap 5734 N. Elston 773-594-1288

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and fi nds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.

While he’s in there, the husband tells his wife. “Listen, this guy’s an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don’t resist, don’t complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nause-ates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he’ll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you.”

To which his wife responds, “He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!”

Escaped Convict Hides Out In Suburban Home

Someone's sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago. Warren Buffett, business magnate, investor and philanthropist

28 WHATS UP XTRA WWW.WHATSUPXTRA.COMtratratraWX

BAR DIRECTORY Where are you going tonight?:

Lakeview West/ Roscoe Village / North-Center / Lincoln Square / Albany Park / Ravenswood Andersonvile

240 Lounge 3948 W. Lawrence 773-267-0474

42 Latitude 3341 N Western 773-910-1473

Abbey Pub 3420 W. Grace 773-478-4408

Atlantic Bar 5062 N. Lincoln 773-506-7090

Bad Dog 4535 N. Lincoln 773-334-4040

Big Joe’s 1818 W Foster 773-784-8755

Black Rock 3614 N. Damen 773-348-4044

Brendan’s Too 3135 W. Montrose 773-463-2771

Brownstone 3937 N. Lincoln 773-528-3700

Carol’s Pub 4659 N Clark 773-334-2402

Celtic Crown 4301 N. Western 773-588-1110

Chicago Joe's 2256 W. Irving 773-478-7000

Chief O'Neills 3471 N. Elston 773-583-3066

Christina's Place 3759 N. Kedzie 773-463-1768

Claddagh Ring 2306 W. Foster 773-271-4794

Cody's Public House 1658 W. Barry 773-528-4050

Daily's Bar 4560 N. Lincoln 773-561-6198

Farraguts 5240 N Clark 773-728-4903

Finley Dunnes 3458 N. Lincoln 773-477-7311

Fizz 3220 N. Lincoln 773-348-6000

Foley's 1841 W. Irving 773-929-1210

Four Moon 1847 W. Roscoe 773-929-6666

Four Shadows 2758 N. Ashland 773-248-9160

Four Trey's Pub 3333 N. Damen 773-549-8845

Fuller's Pub 3203 W. Irving 773-478-8060

Gio’s 4857 N. Damen 773-334-0345

Hidden Cove 5336 N. Lincoln 773-275-3955

Hidden Cove 5338 N. Lincoln 773-275-6711

Horseshoe 4115 N. Lincoln 773-248-1366

Huetten Bar 4721 N. Lincoln 773-561-2507

Jury's 4337 N. Lincoln 773-935-2255

Katerina's 1902 W. Irving 773-348-7592

Keenan O' Reilly's 3916 N. Ashland 773-857-3800

Leadway Bar 5233 N. Damen 773-728-2663

Long Room 1612 W. Irving 773-665-4500

Margie's Pub 4145 N. Lincoln 773-477-1644

Mulligan's 2000 W. Roscoe 773-549-4225

Mutiny 2428 N. Western 773-486-7774

Oakwood 83 1969 W. Montrose 773-327-2785

O'Donovan's 2100 W. Irving 773-478-2100

O'Lanagan 2335 W. Montrose 773-583-2252

Peek Inn 2825 W. Irving Park 773-267-5197

Rail Bar 4709 N Damen 773-878-9400

Richochet's 4644 N. Lincoln 773-271-3127

Riverview 1958 W. Roscoe 773-871-1200

Roscoe Villiage Pub 2159 W. Addison 773-472-6160

Save More Lounge 4060 N. Lincoln 773-281-1444

Side Street 1456 W. George 773-327-1127

Silvie's 1902 W. Irving 773-871-6239

Small Bar 2956 N. Albany 773-509-9888

Stadium West 3188 N. Elston 773-866-2450

Ten Cat Tavern 3931 N. Ashland 773-935-5377

The Temple 3001 N. Ashland 773-248-0990

Uptown Lounge 1136 W. Lawrence 773-878-1136

Villiage Tap 2055 W. Roscoe 773-883-0817

Waterhouse 3407 N. Paulina 773-871-1200

Wild Goose 4265 N. Lincoln 773-281-7112

Windy City Inn 2257 W. Irving 773-588-7088


TA L E S F RO M T H E C H R I S

By Rob ChristiansenMargaret caught me looking at her Department of Motor Vehicles letter, opened and lying on the table. She is six feet away, on the carpet, in front of the stairs. I feel mentally trans-ported from her kitchen to I Don’t Nowhere even though I’ve been in a similar house 6,000 times.“Water, if you have it,” I mind-lessly reply. Under the circum-stances it’s hard to believe

she offered me a beverage instead of a cigarette. Maybe she assumes, correctly, that I don’t smoke.

“I don’t have Perrier, if that’s what you’re accustomed to,” she says humorously while stepping, bare feet inside soft, black slippers, onto the earth tones, asphalt-tiled fl oor. She takes a glass from a cupboard above her sink. She opens her freezer. She mauls the ice bin in the door. She drops ice in the glass. The sound throughout is thunderous. She runs the tap like Niagara Falls on the Canadian side. We were there when I was nine. It occurs to me that maybe Rick really can hear the ocean’s waves from his roof. Margaret hands me the glass and incidentally touches my fi nger. Mine presses the buzzer outside heaven…or hell.

“You look hot,” she says even though she doesn’t hug me or say she’s lonely and wants a sweaty landscaper with b.o. That would soil her scarf. Maybe I look like someone who just mowed her lawn on a 90-degree day. “I see you’ve been catching up on your reading.”

I chug the water, standing because I’m not offered a seat.

Leonardo da Vinci painted a face and Margaret’s parents reproduced it. She has dimples resembling asterisks within lines resembling parentheses, and I try to read her. Her long, straight blond hair parts right of center on top of her head and is dark-er than blond up there. She had been wearing sunglasses for practical purposes behind the wheel of her VW when we met two days ago. Now it’s clear to see that her eyes are blue. They play lead in “A Smile” although her mouth aptly substitutes making her oval face an imperfect reproduction of the da Vinci masterpiece.“Margaret,” I say in two syllables, using her name as a shield though she doesn’t look dangerous.

She wears the diaphanous yellow scarf, tied loosely, hanging to belt loops of green shorts. The scarf can’t hide the footprint of the American chicken on a black t-shirt and her car door isn’t available to conceal her slender legs. She is 5’6” and her legs are roughly half that but they’re smooth, not rough. Her shorts are not denim, unlike my blue pair. They can’t stay blue much longer! Crazy thought, crazy shorts, exaggeratedly fringed because that’s how they came out of the dryer once I’d cut them.

Summer of Fortitude“Yes?” she drawls like a teacher waiting to hear my excuse. “I wanted to address you by name so you’d know I remembered it.” I hand her the glass.

It isn’t fair that I read Margaret’s damn DMV letter! Now there’s no proof I already knew her name. But I would have guessed she was younger than twenty six, and maybe I should tell her that.

I’m sure you said ‘address’ me,” she says, refi lling the glass. She hands it back. I KNOW I didn’t say “undress.” My fear of saying “undress” to Margaret is worse than my fear of mowing over a toad and there’s a shin guard for that. She’s got to be toying with me. Still, I should e-nun-ci-ate. I drink the water.

“Are you a Mets fan?” I ask as a Long Islander would a potential friend. “Being from As-tor-i-a? Your previous ad-dress? Did you attend your prom? Did you go to the World’s Fair? Did you see The Beat-les at Shea Stadium?”

The song “Rock the Boat” ends, and the same band plays on. I’m surprised because you only hear “Rock the Boat” on the radio. My mother plays the stereo or records—Frank Sinatra, Barbra Streisand, Andy Williams, Tom Jones, Engelbert Humperdinck, Herb Alpert & the Tijuana Brass, Sergio Mendez & Brazil 66, and et al—when the TV isn’t on or I’m not practicing piano. I’ve taken lessons since fourth grade. I practice only fi fteen minutes a day now, much to her chagrin. At least Margaret isn’t old enough to be….

Margaret answers my questions in the affi rmative and I’m transported again. This time it’s her description of her prom dress and reminiscences of her prom at Terrace on the Park, of her adventures at the New York World’s Fair in 1964 and 1965 with her family, and of her 1965 Beatles’ concert experience with friends, sitting in the fi rst-base-side upper deck at Shea Stadium, that take me through “The Time Tunnel.” Margaret may have watched that show too when she was as old as I am now. “I saw the Mets in 62 B.S.—before Shea Stadium,” she says.

I failed to sit down in our duck-duck-goose and can see the future: She pays me while showing me to the door. But I will see her again as surely as the grass will grow.

“The Mets won last night!” I sputter.

“You met someone last night?” She misunderstands me or pretends to for a second time. She’s either a real stickler for enunciation or she uses confusion as a conversation piece.

“It’s nice in here,” I say like an inexperienced driver trying to shift gears. (My mother’s Toyota Celica was in the shop in April because of me.) I’m referring to the air conditioning, but in all fairness to Margaret the remark is vague. I pluck my cold, wet t-shirt at my racing heart as though pantomiming a charades clue. She doesn’t respond. I quit the charades. It’s time to break down and apologize for reading her DMV letter before I go.


La La’s Love Letters

by Lauren Strec

Lauren is a spokesmodel for tv, radio, live events, blogging and social media. Connect at Facebook.com/LaurenStrec for tidbits, news and fun photos

Dear La La, Six months ago I landed a good job at a small but lucrative fi rm. My boss, who’s the highest ranking person there, decided to stick me in his offi ce just 2 feet away from him at all times. My boss is notoriously cheap and the word is that he doesn't want to pay to rent extra space. So what’s the problem? He is smoking hot and all I think about all day every day is where and how I might “do him” in our cozy little love nest. I wonder if he keeps me close for fi nancial reasons or if there is a possibility he feels the same about me. Should I approach him about the

way I feel and see if it is mutual or should I keep my secret fanta-sies to myself?Horny HelenDear Horny, Change your panties, and keep that shit to yourself. If he doesn’t accept your “offer,” you could blow everything! Or at least make the close quarters even more awkward. You’re still a newbie at the fi rm, so before you make any moves, get some time under your belt: both in seniority at work, and getting to know him a little better. Find out why someone so handsome is such a tightwod, and [assumingly] single. Time can answer your ques-tion about his feelings towards you, without jeopardizing your good job.

Dear LaLa, I was in a monogamous relationship with my girlfriend for two years. We split up and remained platonic friends. Months later, on a drunken night, we had sex. At that point, neither of us had slept with anyone else. After we had sex that night and the de-mon was released. I went on to sleep with three other women over the course of the next few months. Now my ex-girlfriend and I may get back together, and she has asked the question: Have I slept with anyone else? So far, I have managed to avoid answering her. We are currently sleeping together and I don’t want to jeopardize the possibility of a reunion. Do I have to tell her?Playing PeteDear Pete, Women WILL investigate if we suspect something. With that said, you might as well just say it. Because there’s a strong chance that she will fi nd out anyway, and when she discov-ers you lied… watch out. The potential argument you have now will be much more workable than a post-lie argument. Bite the bullet and say that there were three girls, you used a condom, and that they sucked in bed. Don’t be ashamed when you say it, and follow up that you haven’t slept with anyone since you and her started getting it on again. If she starts blowing up, keep your cool and DON’T apologize. Being ashamed or portraying that you’re guilty will create an atmosphere that you are wrong, she is right, and then she’ll have power to be upset. Tell her that it’s not fair to be punished for something that took place when no relationship or boundaries were established, and that you would appreciate if she thought about that. In the end, you want a girl that uses logic, so the result of this convo will either reveal someone you can keep, or someone you can keep… at arm’s length.Oh, and hey: she may admit that she slept with 3 guys, so be pre-pared to use some logic yourself if she drops that bomb.

Dear LaLa, I need your help. I'm 35 and I believe I'm running out of time to get married and have a family. I have been with my girlfriend for 4 years. I like her and she is a beautiful person with a great career and dedicated to me. We live together and admire her deeply. How-ever, I just recently met a girl that I had a sexual relationship with and she turns my stomach inside out and I can't stop thinking about her. This new girl told me to lose her phone because I was never going to break up with my girlfriend. What should I do? Break up or forget this girl ever happened and get married with my girlfriend or continue seeing her on the side and see where it goes? ConfusedDear Confused, You’re not running out of time. And you’re defi nitely not ready for a relationship, let alone marriage. You “like” your girl-friend of 4 years? You “admire her deeply” enough to stick it to a side chick? You have to leave both of these women, and stop put-ting a deadline to settling down. 35 is not old, and there’s no doubt you need to grow up. There’s nothing wrong with “exploring” a few women, as long as you are a bachelor! What IS wrong, is being with more than one woman and holding both their hearts while you fi gure out what the hell you want. Break up with your girlfriend because she doesn’t do it for you, tuck away your boner for the side chick because she already knows you’re a cheater and will never trust you, and live it up as a single man until you fi nd the woman that does everything for you, and just as important: you do everything for her. This may happen next year, or when you’re 50. Who cares? Just do it right.

Dear LaLa, Today, my boyfriend left for Italy to play baseball for a semi-pro team. He will be staying there for a number of months and during this time, I will not be able to see him, and I'll rarely get to talk to him. He's the only guy I've ever loved, and I'm the only girl he's ever loved, so his leaving is extremely hard on both of us. I’m worried he will not be able to focus on his career because he will be so wor-ried about what I am doing and missing me, so I was contemplating ending things. This way, he'd spend a couple weeks being sad, but he'd get over it, and concentrate on his future. I pray when it’s all over we are able to get back together and that we still feel the same about one another. Am I crazy to sacrifi ce my future to help him achieve his dream?Worried WandaDear Wanda, Long-distance relationships are not promising. I can understand your contemplation to just nip it in the butt and end it. But don’t. You’re always going to wonder if don’t at least give it a shot. I realize you won’t be able to communicate often, but if there is some point during the day, where you both have 10 minutes, even if you have to wake up at 3 in the morning, get on the webcam and just talk. Don’t put anything on hold, and see what happens. He will be busy with his work, and you should keep living your life as you would. If your love for each other withstands the time and distance, you really have something, and you’ll be glad that you stayed. And if it doesn’t work out, then you’ll never have to question, “what if.”


Business and Leadership DevelopmentSET YOUR OWN HOURS, MUST HAVE COMPUTER AND ENTREPRENEUR MINDSETBenefi ts:

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Call 773-213-4597 or email: [email protected]

Go to MODAILEYS.COM or MO DAILEY’S on FACEBOOK

6070 N. Northwest HwyNext to Norwood Park

Metra station and right on Northwest Hwy773 -774-6121

Book your holiday party today

$2 BOTTLESTHURSDAYS

New Menu Items... The Northwest Sides BEST BURGER BAR!!!

"COME CHEER ON YOUR FAVORITE COLLEGE FOOTBALL TEAM!” $2 PBR cans, $2 Miller Lite bottles, & $3.50

Fireball Shots every Saturday

EVERY BEARS GAME $10 Buckets (Mix-N-Match 5), $5 Mimosas & $5 Bloody Mary Bar, .30 Cent Wings, Brunch Menu Available, Free Food And Giveaways All Season Long

FREE POOL SUNDAY NIGHTS 7-CLOSE!

BLACK WEDNESDAY BLACKOUT SPECIALS: $1 Miller Lite Bottles, $4 Fireball Shots...

“Mulligans Stew” Playing At 9pm.

“Come watch every Blackhawks game for Coors Light drink specials & free giveaways after every period! Enter our grand prize drawing for a chance to win a personal Coors Light vending machine!”


Kelly’s PubKelly’s Pub

VISIT US AT KELLYSPUB.COM FOR UPCOMING EVENTS

Sunday: $15 Miller Lite Buckets & $3 Lagunitas DraftMonday: $1 Coors Drafts - $1 Tacos Tuesday: $2 Bud & Bud Light Bottles - $1 BurgersWednesday: $2 Off All DraftsThursday: $8 Coors Light Pitchers + $5 3 Olive Vodka Bombs & $5 All SandwichesFriday: $4 Goose Island Green Line DraftsSaturday: $12 Coors Buckets

949 W. WEBSTER 773- 281- 0656

.25 Cent Wings

80Celebrating

Years of serving beers

What's Up Xtra Magazine Chicago November 2013

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Transcript of What's Up Xtra Magazine Chicago November 2013