What's Up Xtra Southwest June 2013

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JUNE EVENTS

SOUTH WESTJUNE 2013

Where are you going tonight?Where are you going tonight?Where are you going tonight?

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SUN: $4 BLOODY MARYS & $2 DOMESTIC CANSMON: $1.50 DOMESTIC DRAFTSTUE: $2 DOMESTIC BOTTLES & CANS $2.50 Pints PBR, BUD, BUD LIGHTWED: $2.50 IMPORT BOTTLES & CANS $2.50 Pints MILLER LITE & COORS LIGHTTHUR: $5.50 DOMESTIC PITCHERS

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P o r t i o n o f a l l p r o c e e d s g o t o o u r l o c a l v e t e r a n s i n n e e d

FridayJune 14th

SaturdayJune 15th

$10 DonationFeaturing:

Her Worst NightmareTNT Chicago (ACDC)

Judas Beast (Iron Maiden)Lovedrive (Scorpions)Jailbreak (Thin Lizzy)

Sin after Sin (Judas Priest)Starts at 3pm to 11pm


August BurnsStarts at 7pm

SundayJune 16th


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6 OUT AND ABOUT PHOTOS

8 news of interest


11 Cocktails of the month

12 ASK THE WINO

14 word find


17 Sudoku and crossword puzzle

18 lala’s love letters

19 bartender of the month

20 - 22 bar directory

23 are you smarter than chester

24 may events

26 riddle of the month

29 fight card xtra


The name What’s Up Xtra Magazine is a registered trade name, and use of this name is strictly prohibited. The contents of this publication are copyrighted What’s Up Xtra Chicago Magazine -2012

We encourage our readers to write their stories, send photos, and make comments. All submissions sent to us by phone, email, fax, or handwritten become the property of What’s Up Xtra Chicago Magazine.

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Robert ChristiansenColumn Writer

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jon oberteditor

ted phillipsphotographer

Lance nielsonphotographer

lauren streccontributingwriter

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Now is the time. Needs are great. But your possibilities are greater.

Bill Blackman President of Hearts& Mind End Poverty Campaign

Fishing License A couple of young boys were fi shing at their spe-cial pond off the beaten track. All of a sudden, the Game Warden jumped out of the bushes. Imme-diately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods like a bat out of hell. The Game War-den was hot on his heels. After about a half mile, the young man stopped and stooped over with his

hands on his thighs to catch his breath, so the Game Warden fi nally caught up to him. "Let's see yer fi shin' license, Boy!" the Warden gasped. With that, the boy pulled out his wallet and gave the Game Warden a valid fi shing license. "Well, son," said the Game Warden, "you must be about as dumb as a box of rocks! You don't have to run from me if you have a valid license!" "Yes, sir," replied the young guy, "but my friend back there, well, he don't have one."

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Start At The Very Beginning ...When the new patient was settled comfortably on the couch, the psychiatrist began his therapy session. "I'm not aware of your problem," the doctor said. "So perhaps, you should start at the very beginning." "Of course," replied the patient. "In the begin-ning, I created the heavens and the earth..."

Man On A Desert IslandA man of many vices, stranded on a desert island for over 10 years, sees a speck on the horizon. "It's not a ship," he thinks to himself and as it gets closer, he sees it's not a small boat or a raft.

Suddenly, emerging from the surf comes a beautiful woman in a wet suit and scuba gear.

She asks how long it's been since he had a cigarette, and he says, "Ten years." She opens a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack. He lights one up and says, "Great!"

"And how long has it been since you've had a sip of good whis-key?" she asks. Trembling, he says it has been 10 years. She unzips her right sleeve and pulls out a fl ask. He takes a long swig and says, "Absolutely fantastic!"

At this point she starts to unzip the front of her wet suit, and asks, "How long has it been since you've played around?"

With tears in his eyes, the man falls to his knees and sobs, "Oh, heavens! Don't tell me you've got golf clubs in there too."

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Redneck Buys A Chainsaw A red neck walks into a hardware store and asks for a chain saw that will cut 6 trees in one hour. The salesman recommends the top of the line model. The red neck is suitably impressed, and buys it. The next day he brings it back and says, "This chain-saw is defective. It would only cut down 1 tree and it took ALL DAMN DAY!" The salesman takes the chain saw, starts it up to see what's wrong, and the red neck asks, "What's that noise?

JUNE 1ST GOTO

BUZZBOMB

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News & StuffThe President's White House Photographer Tells How to Take a Picture

In its "How-To" issue, Bloomberg Business-week surveyed 46 experts for advice on such subjects as how to eat crow (a recipe), walk like a zombie, talk to a dictator, lie, and how to live on snacks.

After shuffl ing through all the tips, the advice

of Pete Souza, offi cial White House Photographer for President Obama, on how to take a picture might be the most helpful for budding photographers. His few easy suggestions may just turn you from an amateur to a savvy pro.* If there's clutter in the background step to the right or left until it's not in the picture. Take pictures from a higher or lower level so they look different. * Candids are more memorable than posed pictures. Watch and wait for an opportunity. * Get in close. Photos are more interesting when the subject, be it man, woman or cat, fi lls a good part of the frame. * Early morning and late afternoon light is best for taking pictures. Rain, snow or fog can lead to memorable shots. In sunlight, use your fl ash to fi ll in shadows and add a twinkle of light to the sub-ject's eyes.* The most important tip: have fresh batteries with you at all times. If your camera is out of juice or the memory card is full, you've missed the moment. * Keep your iPhone handy. He uses his to take shots on Air Force One and to grab shots of Bo.So grab your camera, get out there, and catch your next money shot!

It's The Year Of The Cicada!

15-Minute Refresher Nap with Coffee?If you need a quick recharge during your busy day,try this unusual method recommended by caring.com, the caffeine nap.

Set the stage for your nap by darkening the room and fi nding a comfortable place to lay down. Make sure to set the alarm clock if time is crucial.

Then, drink a cup of coffee. Seriously. After approximately15 or 20 minutes the coffee will help you wake up refreshed.

Disclaimer: Don’t try this while operating a motor vehicle.

Gun Owners Invest in Self-Defense InsuranceAll around America, gun shops have seen a sub-stantial increase in sales. People who never wanted a gun in the past have opted to purchase one before the new gun rules took effect.

Although, the questions on many of these new gun owners minds is whether their homeowners' insur-ance will cover them if they were to shoot in self-defense.

Generally, it won't. Most standard home and auto policies contain a liability clause that excludes coverage for injuries or damage caused by an intentional act such as fi ring a gun, even in self-defense. A few policies, however, have an exception for "self-defense" or "reasonable force." It covers "bodily injury resulting from the use of reasonable force by an insured to protect per-son's life or property." But the exception is rare.

National Rifl e Association coverage, underwritten by Lloyd's of London, offers two options. For $165 per year, a member re-ceives $100,000 in combined liability coverage for civil defense costs plus criminal defense reimbursement, if acquitted. For $254 annually, the combined coverage jumps to $250,000.

Self-Defense Shield protection offers three benefi t levels begin-ning at $127 and up. Insurers say the coverage is inexpensive because those who buy it aren't the kinds of people who typically have homeowners insurance.

Entomologists say there's a big brood of 17-year cicadas which have been biding their time under ground. According to these experts, the cicadas will emerge along the East Coast and pop up as far north as New York City.

The harmless, but loud insects will surface all the way from the Carolinas to the Hudson Valley of New York. The insects will emerge in the South in April and May and in the cooler Northern states during late May and June.


Live bands

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every Fri and Sat every Fri and Sat

FriJune 7 Harvest Moon

“It’s like a party in your ears”

SatJune 8Fri

June14

SatJune 1 Shindig

Tribute to the 60’s

SatJune15 New Orleans Beau

and the Big Easy Jazz, Blues, Motown, & Pop

FriJune 21 Five Guys Named Moe

sing, dance and party with.

SatJune22 Last Envy

Not your usual rock covers

FriJune28 Chasing Amy

Female fronted classic rock!

SatJune29

The Righteous HillbilliesRock, Southern Rock

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DAILY SPECIALSSun: $3 Bloody Marys, $5 Domestic Pitchers and .50 Cent WingsMon: $1 Domestic Drafts and .50 Cent WingsTue: $3 Captains drinksWed: $2 Long Islands, Half Price AppetizersThu: $3 Jack Daniels and $3 BombsFri: $5 Domestic Pitchers and $3 Rum Chata ShotsSat: $4 Patron Shots and $3 UV Drinks

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back cover Lucky’s Lounge P27

Junior’s Junior’s Junior’s

JUN

E DRINK - MARTINI - SHOT by Lisa Romack

Ingredients½ oz orange vodka½ oz Grand Marnier4 oz red wineSplash simple syrupSplash pineapple, orange and cranberry juiceLemon-lime sodaGarnish: skewer of lime, orange, pineapple and a maraschino cherry

DirectionsFill a 12-ounce glass with ice. Pour in orange vodka, Grand Marnier and red wine. Add a splash of simple syrup, followed by pineapple juice, orange juice and cranberry juice. Shake, thenjJust before serving, add a splash of lemon-lime soda and garnish with a maraschino cherry and a skewer of lime, orange and pineapple.

IngredientsRaspberry Infused Simple Syrup:1 cup sugar1 cup water2 cups raspberriesRaspberry Mojito2 lime slices, cut into wheel shape1 sprig fresh mint2 oz white rum½ oz raspberry liqueurIce cubes, as neededRaspberry, for garnish

DirectionsTo make the simple syrup: In a saucepan com-bine the sugar and water and cook over medium heat until the sugar dissolves. Remove from the saucepan from the heat and add in the raspber-ries. Allow the mixture to steep for at least one day. The simple syrup will keep up to 2 weeks in the refrigerator.To make the raspberry mojito: In a cocktail shak-er, muddle or crush the lime and mint leaves. Add in ½ oz raspberry simple syrup, white rum and raspberry liqueur. Add ice, cover, shake, and then served

Ingredients1 oz melon liqueur1 oz peach schnapps1 oz vodkaOrange juicePineappleSplash cranberry juiceMaraschino cherry

DirectionsFill chimney glass with ice and add melon liqueur, peach schnapps and vodka. Add equal parts pineapple and orange juice almost to top. Add a splash of cranberry. Garnish with a maraschino cherry. rocks glass. Garnish with a raspberry.

Sangria

Raspberry Mojito

Sex On The Beach


FACEBOOK.COM/WHATSUPXTRAMAGAZINE 773.213.4597

Lucky’s Lounge P27

Junior’s

JUN

E DRINK - MARTINI - SHOT by Lisa Romack

Ingredients½ oz orange vodka½ oz Grand Marnier4 oz red wineSplash simple syrupSplash pineapple, orange and cranberry juiceLemon-lime sodaGarnish: skewer of lime, orange, pineapple and a maraschino cherry

DirectionsFill a 12-ounce glass with ice. Pour in orange vodka, Grand Marnier and red wine. Add a splash of simple syrup, followed by pineapple juice, orange juice and cranberry juice. Shake, thenjJust before serving, add a splash of lemon-lime soda and garnish with a maraschino cherry and a skewer of lime, orange and pineapple.

IngredientsRaspberry Infused Simple Syrup:1 cup sugar1 cup water2 cups raspberriesRaspberry Mojito2 lime slices, cut into wheel shape1 sprig fresh mint2 oz white rum½ oz raspberry liqueurIce cubes, as neededRaspberry, for garnish

DirectionsTo make the simple syrup: In a saucepan com-bine the sugar and water and cook over medium heat until the sugar dissolves. Remove from the saucepan from the heat and add in the raspber-ries. Allow the mixture to steep for at least one day. The simple syrup will keep up to 2 weeks in the refrigerator.To make the raspberry mojito: In a cocktail shak-er, muddle or crush the lime and mint leaves. Add in ½ oz raspberry simple syrup, white rum and raspberry liqueur. Add ice, cover, shake, and then served

Ingredients1 oz melon liqueur1 oz peach schnapps1 oz vodkaOrange juicePineappleSplash cranberry juiceMaraschino cherry

DirectionsFill chimney glass with ice and add melon liqueur, peach schnapps and vodka. Add equal parts pineapple and orange juice almost to top. Add a splash of cranberry. Garnish with a maraschino cherry. rocks glass. Garnish with a raspberry.

Sangria

Raspberry Mojito

Sex On The Beach


MONDAY $1.75 Domestic Pints

TUESDAY $2 U Call Its

WEDNESDAY $2.25 Domestic Bottles

THURSDAY $12 Domestic Buckets

FRIDAY $1.75 MGD & PBR Pints

SATURDAY $3 Premium Pints & Bottles

SUNDAY $4 Bloody Marys &

$12 Domestic Buckets

Ask The Wino... Name: Jerry BurnsteinSmells Like: Chicken WingsLikes: Dancing naked with the windows openDislikes: Tofu and yoga

Shelton the student asks: I just found out my college roommate is gay and I feel a little weird sharing a room with him. You ever wor-ry about any of those guys you warm up to on cold nights?

Wino: Shelton what in carnation are you try-ing to say to me you little pecker head?! If you want to experiment with your buddy don’t go trying to poke around in my business. I don’t give a sh*t how cold it is, some dude comes rubbing up on me at night my ass is puckering up tighter that a camel’s butt in a sandstorm!

Sabrina the psychic asks: Every time I read your column I get a special feeling about your aurora that makes me feel like you soul is touched by warmth and light. I would like for you to come in and see me so we can discuss this special place further.

Wino: Lady you sound to me like you are nuttier than a squirrel turd. But if you really want, I’ll come in and see you and I will show you a real warm special place and after about an hour of me spanking your behind aint no doubt in my mind we will both be seeing the light.

Jack the mechanic asks: I don’t suppose you have any advice for the Chicago Bears and their fans this season?

Wino: Another week, another boatload of bullsh*t. Let me ask you a question Jack. You're trapped in a room with an angry grizzly bear, a hungry Lion, and a fan of the Chicago Bears. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do? I vote for animal rights.

facebook funnies

I wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere!

Sunday, June 16, 2013


6950 W. 95TH ST (FRONTAGE RD) OAK LAWN 708-430-1298

MONDAY $1.75 Domestic Pints

TUESDAY $2 U Call Its

WEDNESDAY $2.25 Domestic Bottles

THURSDAY $12 Domestic Buckets

FRIDAY $1.75 MGD & PBR Pints

SATURDAY $3 Premium Pints & Bottles

SUNDAY $4 Bloody Marys &

$12 Domestic Buckets

Video GamingOpen @ 7am

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Ask The Wino... Name: Jerry BurnsteinSmells Like: Chicken WingsLikes: Dancing naked with the windows openDislikes: Tofu and yoga

Shelton the student asks: I just found out my college roommate is gay and I feel a little weird sharing a room with him. You ever wor-ry about any of those guys you warm up to on cold nights?

Wino: Shelton what in carnation are you try-ing to say to me you little pecker head?! If you want to experiment with your buddy don’t go trying to poke around in my business. I don’t give a sh*t how cold it is, some dude comes rubbing up on me at night my ass is puckering up tighter that a camel’s butt in a sandstorm!

Sabrina the psychic asks: Every time I read your column I get a special feeling about your aurora that makes me feel like you soul is touched by warmth and light. I would like for you to come in and see me so we can discuss this special place further.

Wino: Lady you sound to me like you are nuttier than a squirrel turd. But if you really want, I’ll come in and see you and I will show you a real warm special place and after about an hour of me spanking your behind aint no doubt in my mind we will both be seeing the light.

Jack the mechanic asks: I don’t suppose you have any advice for the Chicago Bears and their fans this season?

Wino: Another week, another boatload of bullsh*t. Let me ask you a question Jack. You're trapped in a room with an angry grizzly bear, a hungry Lion, and a fan of the Chicago Bears. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do? I vote for animal rights.

VIDEO GAMING COMING IN JUNE

MON: $2 DOMESTIC BOTTLESTUE: $12.50 IMPORT & PREMIUM BUCKETS + $10 DOMESTIC BUCKETSWED: $1 DOMESTIC DRAFTS (12OZ) $3 IMPORT & PREMIUM PINTSTHU: $10 DOMESTIC BUCKETSFRI: $2.50 DOMESTIC BOTTLES & $3 BOMBSSAT: $3 IMPORT PINTS & BOTTLES SUN: $4 BLOODY MARYS & $2.50 DOMESTIC BOTTLES


ABSCESSAMALGAMAPEXBLEACHINGBONDINGBRACESBRIDGECALCULUSCAPCARIES

VISITING THE DENTIST

CAVITYCROWNCUSPDECAYENAMELEROSIONFILLINGFLOSSIMPLANT

INCISORSMAXILLAMOLARNOVOCAINEORTHODONTISTRETAINERSEALANTTOOTHPASTEXRAY

Strength and courage aren't always measured in med-als and victories. They are measured in the struggles we overcome. The strongest people aren't always the people who win, they are the people who don't give up when they lose. From "As a Man Thinketh."

Playing Golf A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eys, and bows down in prayer. His friend says, “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.” The man then replies, “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”

My friend thinks he’s smart, he said onions are the only food that make you cry.

So I threw a coconut at his face.

Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young. The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young. Henry Ford, early 20th century industrialist


3144 S. Oak Park AveBerwyn

facebook: OFF THE TRAXX

708-637-4430

TUESDAY NIGHT MOVIE NIGHT 8PM $3 CRAFT BEER FROM THE CRAFT COOLER$3 CRAFT BEER FROM THE

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MON: CRAFT, IMPORT (BOTTLES OR TAP) AND PREMIUM OR CALL SHOTS $6TUE: MOVIE NIGHT (SEE ABOVE)WED: DOMESTIC BOTTLES & CALL SHOTS $5THU: DOMESTIC PINTS $1.50 IMPORT PINTS $3.50FRI: $3 CIDERS & $5 CALL MARTINISSAT: WELL DRINKS $2 BOTTLES OF WINE $15SUN: DOMESTIC BUCKETS 5 FOR $12

DAILY SPECIALS

COME CHECK OUT OUR OUTDOOR CAFE

JUNE HOROSCOPEARIES: You can rely on intuition to handle a situation with your workers. Don't come across as rigid or infl exible or they'll think you're just making it all hard work.

TAURUS: Getting along with teammates and working for a cause brings harmony and provides a higher sense of purpose. Finding meaning in your job is always impor-tant.

GEMINI: You sparkle and your eyes twinkle because you've got something magic up your sleeve. Everyone knows it and wishes they could be an insider and have a taste.

CANCER: Be careful what you say because others take your words at face value. Avoid embellishing the facts with your own information, which isn't necessarily factual.

LEO: Father's Day is the big event of June. Be sure to visit your dad, send a card or call. You might also remem-ber someone who has been a father fi gure during your lifetime.

VIRGO: Summer is upon us and you're suddenly ener-gized to get healthy and shed some pounds. It's a good idea in any month, especially before buying a swim suit.

LIBRA: Ah, lucky Libra, the stars shine brightly on you this month. But remember, to be lucky in love and in your job, you'll also have to add some effort of your own.

SCORPIO: Don't assume you can speak out of turn without it backfi ring. You could get a name for being in-discreet, especially if the information is highly-sensitive.

SAGITTARIUS: The song says, "Summertime and the livin' is easy," though it's not always that way. You can still arrange opportunities to get outside, relax and have fun.

CAPRICORN: Your future looks bright, but it's a com-petitive world out there and you might not achieve your goal this time. But it's coming, so keep on keeping on.

AQUARIUS: It's vacation time and you deserve some time off. Plan a break that's not stressful or unafford-able. Sometimes vacationing at home is the best treat of all.

PISCES: A few issues are pending that might be worri-some, but you should have favorable outcomes through the end of the year. Opportunities will be knocking at your door, so watch for them.


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BEER GARDEN

OPENNew App Player Runs On Computers And PhonesA new app will allow games to run on all devices (laptops to telephones) and on Macs or PCs.

With the BlueStacks App Player installed on your machines, you can play a mobile app on your desktop display. Or play a great Android game on your touch-pad.

Many more apps are available for mobile devices than for desktops and laptops. Apple's App Store has more than 800,000, and Google Play offers 700,000.

Today, the most desirable apps, such as those for computer games, aren't avail-able for desktop and laptop computers. But with the App Player, they get a whole new stage.

For example, BlueStacks' App Player can run Android apps designed for a mobile phone on most computers. Game developers will not have to change the way they work because the App Player doesn't require them to change their code in any way, says Markus Kassulke, CEO of HandyG-ames. That makes virtually every game in development for any device available to run through App Player -- a gamers' crossover dream.

Eventually, App Player software may also run on TVs, game consoles and set-top boxes. The software could predict a future where mobile apps can be used on any device or operating system, according to Bloomberg Businessweek.

The BlackBerry Reinvented In recent years, Research in Motion has seen its once dominant position in the smartphone market decline. Now, it thinks its new Z10 smartphone and its BB10 operating system can change that. In fact, it has changed its corporate name from RIM to BlackBerry.

The OS isn't an upgrade, it's a clean break that is so different it will take longtime BlackBerry users a few minutes to get used to it. So what features will the Z10 offer?

It's an all-touchscreen device with a 4.2-inch dis-play and looks a good deal like rival phones. It has no physical navigation system and no keyboard.

Wall Street Journal analyst Walter Mossberg says it feels good in his hand and he likes the virtual keyboard, the camera and the way it gathers all messages into a single hub.

BlackBerry CEO Thorsten Heins says the phone's ability to run multiple apps at the same time, and a predictive tool that chooses words as you type, will win over consumers unfamiliar with the device, as well as sway users in the government. He also says the hyperspeed innovation cycle will make it harder for Apple iOS to compete with the Z10.

The new BlackBerry Q10 is scheduled to be out on retail shelves in June. The BlackBerry Q10 incorporates the kind of physical keyboard that fans of the old BlackBerry loved. USA Today's Edward Baig says it felt like a real BlackBerry keyboard when he started to use it.

TECHNOLOGY


La La’s Love Letters

By Lauren Strec

Lauren is a spokesmodel for tv, radio, live events, blogging, and social media. Connect at Facebook.com/LaurenStrec for tidbits, news, and fun photos. You can see her videos and more at LaurenStrec.com.

HELPWANTEDNO EXPERIENCE NECESSARY

EMAIL - [email protected] INCOME - FT - PT

CALL FOR DETAILS 773.213.4597

Dear La La, I am in a relationship with a guy I truly believe I may be in love with. He is really close to his family and has shared with me that he plans to marry and raise a family close to his parents and siblings. I just got offered my dream job, but it is 3 states away! Do I sacrifi ce what I have worked so hard for or do I just take a deep breath and walk away?Hawaii Harriet

Dear Hawaii, Take the job. If you don’t, you’re going to always wonder, “what could have been,” and may even resent him down the road, if things work out. And what if things don’t work out?! Then it all would have been for nothing. You say you “may” be in love with this guy. If this was a certain thing, I wonder if you would be questioning to leave. Just some food for thought. Suggest to him to move with you, and tell him he can always come back if he really needs his family in close proximity. If he really cares for YOU, he should at least give it a try.

Dear La La, I have been dating this girl for about a month now and every time we have fooled around it has been dark in the room. So, the other day for the fi rst time she began undressing in front of me and there it was...a big hairy mole on her belly! I almost threw up in my mouth. Can I suggest that she go to a doc-tor and have that growth removed or would that come across as shallow? Ewwww, please help!Ground HogDear Hog, Dude, you’re an ass. This girl obviously is self con-scious about it, hence the dark lights. If you’re just in it to bang, you’re in no place to make suggestions to suit your superfi cial standards. Now, if you really dig this chick, I think you’ll eventual-ly fi nd that the “Holy Moley” will become less apparent once you fall for her more. Down the road, the topic of health and cancer prevention would be a more appropriate conversation.

Dear LaLa, My husband is constantly nagging me to give up my fl annel pajamas and head to Lovers Lane for something a bit sexier. I just don't really get the point. If "love is blind", then why do men love lingerie so much?Hunter JaneDear Jane, You’re over-analyzing this. You mean to tell me that when your hubby gets dressed up for a night out, you just go, “meh?” It’s nice to look at, yeah? Men are very visual creatures, and your husband is attracted to you! That’s awesome. Half of marriages end in divorce, and your guy still wants to see you all sexifi ed. It won’t kill you to do it, it will make him happy, and you may even come to fi nd that you enjoy how turned on he’s going to get. Plus, you’ll always have some collateral to get him to do things around the house.

Dear La La, My wife and I have been married for about a year now and we have a really great time when we go out together. About a month ago we happened to walk into a bar on their ka-raoke night and she was so excited she insisted we stay. She claimed she was the "karaoke queen" in college and I was in for a treat. OMG...she sounded like two alley cats having a fi erce showdown! She had such a good time (at everyone else's ex-

pense) that now she wants to go every week. Is it my duty as her loving husband to break the news or do I just invest in a good pair of earplugs, grin and bear it?Joe

Dear Joe, Aw, that poor thing! Ignorance is bliss, and don’t ruin it for her. There’s a few simple pleasures in life that excite us, and she has found something. Every karaoke night has at least one or two tone-deaf people in the lineup, and unfortunately she is one of them. It’s no big deal, and usually other karaoke-ers ex-pect this. Here’s a suggestion: fi nd an inexpensive singing class at your local community college or online, and ask her if she’d be interested to enroll, to “hone her craft.” If she’s down, let the teacher be the one to tweak her delivery.

One LinersExcuses are like asses everyone’s got em and they all stink.Depression is merely anger without enthusiasmDrink 'till she's cute, but stop before the weddingI'm not cheap, but I am on special this weekShin: a device for fi nding furniture in the dark.An apple a day keeps the doctor away... so does having no medical insurance.

19 FACEBOOK.COM/WASSUPXTRAMAGAZINE 773.213.4597traWX WHATS UP XTRA

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Rules: All service employees are eligible to win. The service employee who receives the most votes in the month wins. You can submit your vote by texting (773) 288-9400 or go to facebook.com/whatsupxtramagazine “like” our page and vote under the bartender’s photo or go to www.whatsupxtra.comOnly one vote is counted per person and voting polls close on June 20th. *The Pub Crawl will begin at the employee of the months bar and the limo bus will accommodate 24 passengers. Gratuity not included and must be paid prior to service

CONGRATULATIONS

JaymeBull Pen Sports Bar 716 Cottage St. Shorewood“Gotta try it once!”

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The winner will receive a 4 hour limo bus from LIMOSALIVE.NET for 24 of their friends.

Bartender: StacieMacGuffi ns (AMC Theatre), 500 Chicago Ridge Mall, Chicago RidgeSignature Drink: Stacie’s SupriseIngredients: Captain Morgan, Blackberry Brandy, Secret IngredientsWords of Wisdom: "A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory."

Bartender: MariaPerception Lounge6814 Windsor Ave, BerwynSignature Drink: Suck My PepitoIngredients: Effen Cucumber, Lime, Soda Water, SaltWords of Wisdom: "The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it."

Bartender: NikkiAngie's Bar300 S Midland, RockdaleSignature Drink: Angry BallsIngredients: Angry Orchard, Fire-ball WhiskeyWords of Wisdom: "Suck my angry balls!"

Bartender: CassieJameson's9545 W Saint Francis FrankfortSignature Drink: HeartbreakerIngredients: Jaegermeister, Peach Schnapps, Malibu, Pineapple and Cranberry JuiceWords of Wisdom: "Free advice is the kind that costs you noth-ing unless you act upon it."


Alsip Bar 122 12219 S. Pulaski 708-597-1122Dakota Inn 12119 S. Crawford 708-388-6622Southsides 11860 S Cicero 708-371-1133

Bedford Park Buzz Bomb 6301 W. 73rd 708-728-6500

Berwyn Cigars and Stripes 6715 W. Ogden Ave 708-484-1043Fitzgeralds 6615 Roosevelt Rd 708-788-2118James Joyce Pub 7138 Windsor 708-795-1100Juniors 7011 Ogden Ave 708-484-9464Kickoffs 6305 26th St 708-484-2466Off The Traxx 3144 S. Oak Park Ave 708-637-4430Perception Lounge 6814 W. Windsor 708-749-2484Tiger O’Stylies 6300 W. Ogden 708-795-1298

Bridgeview All Star Sports Bar 8000 S. Roberts Rd 708-594-5600Illusions 7600 S. Harlem 708-496-0300Tiger’s Lounge 8500 S. Harlem 708-598-7000X’s & O’s Lounge 7801 W. 79th Pl 708-728-9696

Bolingbrook Clemente’s Pub 361 N. Schmidt 630-459-6084Gonzo’s 730 N. Bolingbrook 630-739-4646Panama Connect 132 N. Bolingbrook 630-739-1364Quarterdeck 220 Beacon Ridge 630-739-9810Tailgators 431 W. Boughton Rd 630-679-1992T&T Lounge 594 N. Pinecrest 630-739-0575

Brookfi eld Irish Times 8869 Burlington` 708-485-8787Joe’s Saloon 9220 W. 47th 708-485-9640Johnny B’s Bar 8436 Brookfi eld 708-485-4504Local Bar 3733 Grand Blvd 708-255-5551Slager’s Bar 9308 47th 708-387-0317

Burbank Castle Inn 5700 W. 79th 708-529-3547Chuck’s Voodoo 6501 W. 79th 708-229-8700Dalton's Pub 5616 N. 87th 708-423-1570Durbins 5406 W. 79th St 708-423-1523Frank's Place 6353 W. 79th St 708-233-9148Maggie McGuires 8642 S. Cicero 708-424-3720Tic N Tin Tap 7107 W. 79th 708-599-6399

Burnham Brown Jug 14540 S Torrence Ave 708-862-3139Tally Ho 3000 E. 138th St 708-933.6360

Calumet CityBagley’s 666 Hirsch Avenue 708-891-9290Boss’s Lounge 148 155th Street 708-891-9073John L’s Place 335 154th Place 708-862-2386Lauers Pub 31 154th Place 708-891-9748Harry O’s 816 Burnham Avenue 708-832-3847The Hideaway 1245 Burnham Ave 708-862-2966

BAR DIRECTORYBAR DIRECTORY Where are you going tonight?: Where are you going tonight?:

Chicago 55th Street Pub 4201 W. 55th St. 773-582-8839

Chicago Ridge

Bobby McGee’s 10139 S. Harlem 708-529-3526O’Connor Pub 5900 W. 111th 708-422-6400Jack Desmond 10339 Ridgeland 708-857-7910Jessie's Tavern 10501 Ridgeland 708-499-0048Nickobee’s 10301 Southwest 708-499-2643Lucky's Lounge 6605 95th St 708-237-3776

Countryside Harry’s bar 9901 W. 55th 708-354-3333Kenny’s Tavern 917 W. 55th 708-354-0991Rafferty’s 10901 Joliet Rd 708-246-3188

Crest Hill Bada Brew 802 Theodore 815-726-3401Bobby McGees 1200 Cedarwood 815-741-4318Chaoz Sports 20631 W. Renwick 815-838-5234Gusto’s 2115 Plainfi eld 815-744-4159Marty’s Place 2357 Plainfi eld 815-725-2252

Crestwood Brazen Head 13602 S. Cicero 708-388-8862Doc’s Lounge 13430 S. Cicero 708-371-7665Mitch's Pub 13815 Cicero Ave 708-597-2415Pockets Billiards 13430 S Cicero 708-371-7665

Crete Chuck's Place 1358 Main St 708-672-9449Ignorant Bliss 1338 Main St 708-279-7163NorthWoods 940 Steger Rd 708-672-1167

Darien Q’s Billiards 8109 S. Cass Ave 630-739-2999

Flossmore Flossmore Station 1035 Sterling Ave 708-957-2739North Woods 800 Kedzie Ave 708-957-5600

Frankfort Jameson Pub 9545 W. Saint Francis 815-469-0500Local Bar 7900 W. Lincoln Hwy 815-469-9450Old Plank Tavern 113 Kansas 815-464-1004

Hazel CrestSidebar 167 2905 W. 167th St 708-596-5055

Hickory Hills Cravens Pub 8833 W. 87th St 708-237-1705Kowal's Bar 9401 S. Roberts Rd 708-598-0835Prime Time 7750 W. 95th St 708-599-2333

Homer Glen Cool River 12622 W. 159th 708-301-8006Davidson Bar 14136 S. Bell Rd 708-645-0000Mullets 14903 S. Bell Rd 708-645-7000Pelican Harrys 14807 Founders Xing 708-301-5555


Bar Directory Continued on page 22

North Riverside Bar Tini Lounge 2433 DesPlaines 708-853-9143Sweet Spot 2531 DesPlaines 708-443-5770

Oak Forest Blarney Stone 15400 Cicero 708-535-4800Marcotte’s 15501 S.Cicero 708-535-8960Tap's Pub 15427 Cicero 708-535-6374

Oak Lawn Cullens Pub 9953 Southwest Hwy 708-424-7286Demma's Bar 5805 W. 87th Pl 708-636-1240George's Lounge 5407 W. 95th 708-636-0223Goal Post 5207 W. 95th St. 708-422-5275Hot Corner 4913 W. 95th St 708-422-1884Inn Zone Bar 9904 Southwest Hwy Murphy's Law 9247 S. Cicero 708-636-1555Quigley’s 4010 W. 111th 708-952-4774R Place Lounge 9848 Southwest Hwy St James 5305 W. 95th St. 708-425-1330Tailgators 9256 S. Cicero 708-423-1350Tavern on the West End 6950 W 95th St 708-430-1298TC Pub 9700 S. Cicero 708-629-0685

Orland Park Coaches Corner 8116 W. 143rd St 708-364-1026Danny’s Corner 9400 W, 143rd St 708.226.9223Fat Sams 15896 S. LaGrange Rd 708-403-0733 Jordans Pub 13500 S. Harlem 708-460-8330Zantes Lounge 8888 W. 159th St 708-364-0100

Palos Heights Joe Daniels 12218 S. Harlem 708-923-9902Sam Bucas 12231 S. Harlem 708-361-1226 Mister Mo’s 7214 College Dr 708-671-0288X’s & O’s Lounge 6405 W. 127th 708-824-9600

Palos Hills Durbin’s 10154 S. Roberts Rd 708-598-8881Red Velvet 11011 Southwest 708-974-9085Valley Inn 8300 W. 107th St. 708-974-0509Village Pub 9750 S. Roberts Rd 708-576-8142Zante Lounge 10307 S Roberts Rd 708-233-6400

Plainfi eld Backdoor Pub 15014 S. DesPlaines 815-609-0000Gunther’s Bar 24001 W. Lockport 815-609-8445Gruben’s Tap 24035 W. Lockport 815-436-9395McBride’s Pub 7162 Caton 815-609-0192O’Sullivan’s Pub 706 W Lockport 815-436-4529Tap House 24002 W. Lockport 815-733-5148The Penalty Box 16108 S. Rte 59 815-782-7410

Posen D & D's Tavern 14401 S. Sherman 708-385-0171Granny's Place 2838 W. 147th St 708-385-2509Guzzlers 14344 S. Mckinley 708-371-7484J&J’s Pub 14347 McKinley 708-388-2006Posen Pub 14346 S. Western 708-388-7335

Homewood Fifth Quarter Tap 18105 Dixie Hwy 708-798-2710Lassen’s Bar 2131 183rd 708-957-2220Ridgewood Tap 2059 Ridge Rd 708-798-1414

JolietIzzy’s 507 Theodore St 815-727-4999

Justice Davern’s Tavern 8527 W. 79th 708-924-6003New Bridges Bar 8531 W. 79th 708-728-9990

Lansing J.J. Kelley’s 2455 Bernice Rd 708-474-9977Kilroy’s 3502 Ridge Rd 708-895-5233

Lemont Canal St Pub 309 Canal St 630-257-7438Illinois Bar 1131 State St 630-257-0666Nick’s Tavern 221 Main St 630-257-6564The Vault 308 Canal St 630-312-8380Tom’s Place 110 Stephen St 630-257-9875Stonehouse Pub 103 Stephen St 630-257-1300

Lockport Carters Place 122 W. 9th 815-838-7881Fat Sam’s 122 E. 9th 815-838-4420Jackie’s Place 1016 S. State 815-588-0715Paradise Bay 105 W 10th St 815-838-6513Outpost 14929 Archer Ave 815-836-8893Stella’s On State 823 S. State St 815-834-2780

LyonsLyons Tap 8143 W. 47th 708-853-9600Marlin’s 7236 Pershing Rd 708-442-2645McCafferty’s Pub 8107 Ogden 708-442-0630Ricky D’s Place 7901 Ogden 708-442-8688

McCook All Star Bar 7949 W. 47th 708-442-8600

Markham Envy’s Pub 3625 W 159th 708-331-5860George's Place 15745 Kedzie Ave 708-225-1844

Merrionette Park 115 Bourbon Street 3359 W. 115th 708-388-8881

Midlothian Coaches Bar 14650 Waverly Midlothian 708-629-0685Durbin’s 14753 S. Cicero 708-687-1700Jack’s Place 3915 147th St. 708-489-2250Sullivans 4660 147th St 708-385-4100

Mokena 191 South 10160 W. 191st 708-479-6873Morgan’s 18700 Old LaGrange Rd 708-478-3610Post Game Pub 9630 Willow 708-479-1302

New Lenox Charleston’s 2101 Calistoga 815-462-2000

BAR DIRECTORYBAR DIRECTORY Where are you going tonight?: Where are you going tonight?:


BAR DIRECTORYRomeoville Stone City Saloon 721 N Independence 805-524-4677

South Chicago Heights Baps Tap 164 W. Sauk Trail 708-755-2277Prisco’s 11 W. Sauk Tr 708-248-5380Tony G's 33 W. Sauk Tr 708-754-6848

Steger J Martins Tap 81 E. 34th St 708-755-6152Jack's Bar & Grill 436 W. 34th St 708-754-7000Jolt N Joes 3215 Union 708-755-3330

Stickney 39th St. Pub 6611 Pershing Rd 708-484-2466

Stone ParkEl Gusanito 3600 North Ave 708-865-4411

Summit Europe 7245 W. Archer 708-458-1900

Tinley Park Bailey’s Bar 17731 Oak Park 708-429-7955Cuzins Tavern 17704 Oak Park 708-633-1144Dendrino's 18305 Oak Park 708-532-1639Durbins 17265 Oak Park 708-429-1000JWHollsteins 17348 Oak Park 708-429-7000Old Tinley Pub 17020 Oak Park 708-532-4409Teehan's 17329 Oak Park 708-532-9707

Willow Springs Connies Grove Inn 8258 Kean Ave 708-839-1959Friendly Tap 8240 Archer Ave 708-839-9508Neon Moon Saloon 8236 Kean Ave 708-839-8090

Willowbrook Kerry Piper 7900 Joliet Rd 630-325-3732Maxums 9300 S. Kingery 630-789-6800Phillies Bar 6300 S. Kingery 630-654-0101

Woodbridge Cabana Charleys 6315 Main 630-964-8454Shanahans 1999 W 75th St 630-985-5945

Worth Bar Code 111 7016 W 111th Street 708 448-4040The Chieftan 6908 W 111th Street 708 827-5739Phil Mc Krackens 6602 111th Street 708)671-8090

To be listed in our bar directory call 773.213.4597

Check out our new website...

www.whatsupxtra.comRead the magazine online

“like us” on facebook our bartender candidates of the month reach 10,000 people per month on facebook

Are You Smarter Than CHESTER “The Sock Monkey”?

Answers

1. Who were the "Founding Fathers"?a) The leaders of the American Revolution b) The signers of the Declaration of Independence c) The delegates to the 1787 Constitutional Convention?

2. In the Roman Catholic Church, who is the "Holy Father"?a) God b) Jesus c) The Pope

3. He is known as the "Father of History"…a) Pliny b) Herodotus c) Aristotle

4. In Greek myth, he is the "father of the universe"…a) Cronos b) Uranus c) Zeus

5. "Father Time" is also known as…a) St. Nicholas b) The Grim Reaper c) Daedalus

6. Who is considered "the Father of the Symphony"?a) Joseph Haydn b) Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart c) Lud-wig van Beethoven

7. The "Our Father" is also called…a)The doxology b) The Kaddish c) The Lord's Prayer

8. Saint Nicholas, the martyr behind the "Father Christmas" myth, is from…a) Asia Minor b) The Netherlands c) England

9. To whom does the term "Great White Father" refer?a) Santa Claus b) The Pope c) The U.S. president

10. Who is often called the "Father of Medicine"?a) Demosthenes b) Hippocrates c) Galen

1. The delegates to the 1787 Constitutional Convention2. The Pope3. Herodotus4. Uranus5. The Grim Reaper

6. Joseph Haydn 7. The Lord’s Prayer8. Asia Minor9. The U.S. president10. Hippocrates


Sunday: $10 Domestic Buckets + $4 Bloody Marys

Monday: $1.50 Domestic Bottles

Tuesday: $5 Domestic Pitchers + $2 Well Drinks

Wednesday: $1.75 Domestic Bottles

Thursday: $3 Import Bottles

716 Cottage St Shorewood (815) 725-8753

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BeerGarden

with TV’s and Bags

Daily Specials

SUDOKURules:Every column, row and 3x3 box must have numbers 1 to 9

Pirate At A Bar A pirate was talking to a land-lover in a bar. The land-lover noticed that, like any self-respecting pirate, this guy had a peg leg, a hook in place of one of his hands and a patch over

one eye. The land-lover just had to fi nd out how the pirate got in such bad shape. He asked the pirate,

"How did you loose your leg?" The

pirate responded, "I lost me leg in a battle off the coast of Jamaica!"

His new acquaintance was still curi-ous so he asked, "What about you hand. Did you loose it at the same time?" "No," answered the pirate. "I lost it to the sharks off the Florida Keys."

Finally, the land-lover asked, "I notice you also have an eye patch. How did you loose your eye? The pirate answered, "I was sleeping on a beach when a seagull fl ew over and crapped right in me eye."

The land-lover asked, "How could a little seagull crap make you loose your eye?" The pirate snapped, "It was the day after I got me hook!"

A pirate was talking to a land-lover

Are You Smarter Than CHESTER “The Sock Monkey”?

Answers

1. Who were the "Founding Fathers"?a) The leaders of the American Revolution b) The signers of the Declaration of Independence c) The delegates to the 1787 Constitutional Convention?

2. In the Roman Catholic Church, who is the "Holy Father"?a) God b) Jesus c) The Pope

3. He is known as the "Father of History"…a) Pliny b) Herodotus c) Aristotle

4. In Greek myth, he is the "father of the universe"…a) Cronos b) Uranus c) Zeus

5. "Father Time" is also known as…a) St. Nicholas b) The Grim Reaper c) Daedalus

6. Who is considered "the Father of the Symphony"?a) Joseph Haydn b) Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart c) Lud-wig van Beethoven

7. The "Our Father" is also called…a)The doxology b) The Kaddish c) The Lord's Prayer

8. Saint Nicholas, the martyr behind the "Father Christmas" myth, is from…a) Asia Minor b) The Netherlands c) England

9. To whom does the term "Great White Father" refer?a) Santa Claus b) The Pope c) The U.S. president

10. Who is often called the "Father of Medicine"?a) Demosthenes b) Hippocrates c) Galen

1. The delegates to the 1787 Constitutional Convention2. The Pope3. Herodotus4. Uranus5. The Grim Reaper

6. Joseph Haydn 7. The Lord’s Prayer8. Asia Minor9. The U.S. president10. Hippocrates

24 WHATS UP XTRA traWXCHECK OUT OUR NEW WEBSITE @ WWW.WHATSUPXTRA.COM24 WHATS UP XTRA tratratratratraWWWXXXXXXtraXtratraXtraXXXtraXtratraXtraXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXWXWWXWWXWWXWWXWWXWWXWXCHECK OUT OUR NEW WEBSITE @ WWW.WHATSUPXTRA.COM

Chicago Blues FestivalGrant Park www.chicagobluesfestival.usCost: FreeHours: June 6-9, 2013

Special opening night concert at the Jay Pritzker Pavilion in Mil-lennium Park features a line-up of the genre's next generation headlined by Shemekia Copeland. On Friday, the festival moves to Grant Park where Bobby Rush kicks off the festival's journey from the Mississippi Delta to Chicago and the world. Includes music on fi ve stages.

Andersonville MidsommarfestAndersonville5200 N. Clark, between Foster and CatalpaChicago, Ill. 60640(773) 728-2995www.andersonville.orgCost: $10 donation, free kids under 12 Hours: 11 a.m.-10 p.m. June 8-9, 2013Andersonville, a neighborhood with roots dating back to Swed-ish immigrants who settled the streets north of Foster and east of Clark in the 1850s, puts on a summer festival that's fi t for the modern era, but honors the neighborhood's rich tradition. A high-light of the fest is a Maypole dance, a traditional circular dance celebrated in Sweden during the midsummer. Families may also bring their pets along and participate in the festival's pet parade, which provides a way for the entire clan to enjoy a lazy summer afternoon.

Make Music Chicagowww.makemusicchicago.comCost: free musical celebration across the city at 65 sitesHours: June 21, 2013; throughout the dayThis one-day music festival, patterned after France's national music festival "Fête de la Musique," celebrates the ability of ev-eryone to make music. People of all ages, amateurs and profes-sionals, in all genres of music, are invited to gather throughout the day in Chicago's public spaces to engage in spontaneous music-making. The festival culminates in an evening grand fi -nale at St. James Cathedral Commons. Festival public spaces include Daley Plaza, Chicago Cultural Center, Alliance Française (810 N. Dearborn) and St. James Cathedral Commons (65 E. Huron). Visit the website for more information.

Green Music FestDamen Ave, between North and Schiller www.greenmusicfestchicago.comCost: $5 donationHours: Noon-10 p.m. June 22-23, 2013Fest blends cutting edge, environmentally-conscious bands with green vendors and activities and demos.

JUNE EVENTS


13430 S CICERO CRESTWOOD 708-371-7665

Pizza - Appetizers - Sandwiches - 24 Pool Tables - Shuffl eboard - Darts - Bean Bags - Patio - Free Wifi

Sun - Thur 10am - 2pm / Fri & Sat 10am - 3am 13430 S CICERO CRESTWOOD 708-371-7665

Sun - Thur 10am - 2pm / Fri & Sat 10am - 3am

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VIDEO GAMINGIS HERE!!!

Chicago Blues FestivalGrant Park www.chicagobluesfestival.usCost: FreeHours: June 6-9, 2013

Special opening night concert at the Jay Pritzker Pavilion in Mil-lennium Park features a line-up of the genre's next generation headlined by Shemekia Copeland. On Friday, the festival moves to Grant Park where Bobby Rush kicks off the festival's journey from the Mississippi Delta to Chicago and the world. Includes music on fi ve stages.

Andersonville MidsommarfestAndersonville5200 N. Clark, between Foster and CatalpaChicago, Ill. 60640(773) 728-2995www.andersonville.orgCost: $10 donation, free kids under 12 Hours: 11 a.m.-10 p.m. June 8-9, 2013Andersonville, a neighborhood with roots dating back to Swed-ish immigrants who settled the streets north of Foster and east of Clark in the 1850s, puts on a summer festival that's fi t for the modern era, but honors the neighborhood's rich tradition. A high-light of the fest is a Maypole dance, a traditional circular dance celebrated in Sweden during the midsummer. Families may also bring their pets along and participate in the festival's pet parade, which provides a way for the entire clan to enjoy a lazy summer afternoon.

Make Music Chicagowww.makemusicchicago.comCost: free musical celebration across the city at 65 sitesHours: June 21, 2013; throughout the dayThis one-day music festival, patterned after France's national music festival "Fête de la Musique," celebrates the ability of ev-eryone to make music. People of all ages, amateurs and profes-sionals, in all genres of music, are invited to gather throughout the day in Chicago's public spaces to engage in spontaneous music-making. The festival culminates in an evening grand fi -nale at St. James Cathedral Commons. Festival public spaces include Daley Plaza, Chicago Cultural Center, Alliance Française (810 N. Dearborn) and St. James Cathedral Commons (65 E. Huron). Visit the website for more information.

Green Music FestDamen Ave, between North and Schiller www.greenmusicfestchicago.comCost: $5 donationHours: Noon-10 p.m. June 22-23, 2013Fest blends cutting edge, environmentally-conscious bands with green vendors and activities and demos.

JUNE EVENTS

Happy Father’s DaySunday June 16

Collecting Snails For The Dinner Party A wife and her husband were having a dinner party for some important guests. The wife was very excited about this and wanted everything to be perfect. At the very last minute, she realized that she didn't have any snails for the dinner party, so she asked her husband to run down to the beach with the bucket to gather some snails. Very grudgingly he agreed. He took the bucket, walked out the door, down the steps, and out to the beach. As he was collecting the snails , he noticed a beauti-ful woman strolling alongside the water just a little further down the beach. He kept thinking to himself, "Wouldn't it be great if she would even just come down and talk to me?" He went back to gathering the snails. All of a sudden he looked up, and the beautiful woman was standing right over him. They started talking and she invited him back to her place. They ended up spending the night together. At seven o'clock the next morning he woke up and exclaimed, "Oh no!!! My wife's dinner party!!!" He gathered all his clothes, put them on real fast, grabbed his bucket, and ran out the door. He ran down the beach all the way to his apartment. He ran up the stairs of his apartment. He was in such a hurry that when he got to the top of the stairs, he dropped the bucket of snails. There were snails all down the stairs. The door opened just then, with a very angry wife standing in the door way wondering where he's been all this time. He looked at the snails all down the steps, then he looked at her, then back at the snails and said, "Come on guys, we're almost there!!"


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Text your answers to: 773-288-9400 or e-mail: [email protected]

Leave your name, e-mail, and telelphone number. All correct answers go into drawing.

RiRiRiRiRiRiRiRiRiRiRiRiRiRiRiddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Monthddle of the Month Answer to Last Months Riddle

Answer:

Winner: Julie Garcia

WIN A

$25 GIFT

CERTIFICATE

Five words that contain NO as a letter pair have had all of their other letters removed and placed into a pool. Put those letters back in their proper places. What are the words?

NO***, **NO*, **NO**, ***NO*, **NO****

Pool: A, A, A, C, C, D, E, G, H, I, I, L, M, M, P, P, R, S, T, Y

For Fun

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You haven’t boxed a Boxer You haven’t boxed a Boxer You haven’t boxed a Boxer You haven’t boxed a Boxer You haven’t boxed a Boxer till you’ve boxed...till you’ve boxed...till you’ve boxed...till you’ve boxed...till you’ve boxed...

THE GLOVETHE GLOVETHE GLOVETHE GLOVETHE GLOVE

BOXER Game

Determine what letter should replace the ? at the end: M M L J A R C C G E P C ?

NOMAD, MINOR, CANOPY, PHENOL, AGNOSTIC


3 PIGSOne day the fi rst grade teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where the fi rst pig was trying to accumulate the building materials for his home.She read, "...And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbar-row full of straw and said, "Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?'"

The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that man said?"

One little boy raised his hand and said, "I think he said "'Holy Sh*t! A talking pig!'"

Blondes Finish Jigsaw Puzzle A group of blondes walk into a bar. One of the women tells the bar-tender to line up a row of drinks for all of them. The gals lift their glasses and toast, “Here’s to 51 days!” and they proceed to down their drinks. Once again, they tell the bartender to “line ‘em up”, and once again they toast 51 days and down their drinks. The bartender says, “I don’t get it. Why in the world are you toasting 51 days?” One of the blondes explains, “We just fi nished a jigsaw puzzle. It had written on the box ‘2-4 years,’ but we fi nished it in 51 days!”

Whats Up xtra.com

1 FACEBOOK.COM/WASSUPXTRAMAGAZINE 773.288-9400traWX WHATS UP XTRA

JUNE 2012

FREE

traWX

SOUTH WEST xtraWhats Up

‘

“LIKE US” FACEBOOKWHATS UP XTRA MAGAZINE

MAGAZINE ONLINE DO YOUR WANT MORE AZZES IN THE SEATS?DOES ADVERTISING WORK?IT JUST DID - PRINT & CALL 773.213.4597 MAGAZINE / ONLINE

Text your answers to: 773-288-9400 or e-mail: [email protected]

Leave your name, e-mail, and telelphone number. All correct answers go into drawing.

Answer to Last Months Riddle

Answer:

Winner: Julie Garcia

WIN A

$25 GIFT

CERTIFICATE

Five words that contain NO as a letter pair have had all of their other letters removed and placed into a pool. Put those letters back in their proper places. What are the words?

NO***, **NO*, **NO**, ***NO*, **NO****

Pool: A, A, A, C, C, D, E, G, H, I, I, L, M, M, P, P, R, S, T, Y

For Fun

For TournamentsBars and Event Coordinators call 773.213.4597

to order the Boxer at no cost & learn more about profi t opportunities

You haven’t boxed a Boxer till you’ve boxed...

THE GLOVENew Machines: prizes paid out through the machine for top scores, wheel of fun,. and more...

INCLU

DES

PRIZE

CAPSULES &

Outdo

or M

achi

ne

Great

for P

atio

s

& Bee

r Gar

dens

BOXER Game

Determine what letter should replace the ? at the end: M M L J A R C C G E P C ?

NOMAD, MINOR, CANOPY, PHENOL, AGNOSTIC


www.FightCard.net

Email [email protected] GIRL INQUIRY?

Want to Compete?Contact Nilo @ 312.369.4180

On May 22nd, FIGHTCARD unleashed great fi ghts and an awesome match up in a title defense for the 185lb champion.1. Christian Lucero (Kaotic Punishment) vs. Carlos Hernandez (Combat Do)Winner: Hernandez wins by submission in 1:50 of Round 1 via a RNC. Muay Thai2. Jeremy Higgins (Robby Cole Muay Thai) vs. Evan Wright (Carlson Gracie)Winner: After 3 rounds, Wright wins by Unanimous Decision.3. Rob Podobinski (Predator Muay Thai) vs. Eder Brito (Victory Martial Arts)Winner: Podinski wins by submission in 1:30 of Round 2 via a RNC. Muay Thai4 . Tony Richards (Evanston Boxing Club) vs. Nam Ho (Robby Cole Muay Thai)Winner: After 3 rounds, Ho wins by Split Decision.5. Stephen Lee (Keller’s Martial Arts) vs. James Waller (Chicago Muay Thai)Winner: Waller wins by TKO in 1:34 or Round 1. Referee stops the fi ght due to strikes.6. Sam Ferguson (Carlson Gracie) vs. Rob Duczynski (Robby Cole Muay Thai)Winner: After 3 rounds, Ferguson wins by Split Decision. Muay Thai7. Rick Thurmand (Keller’s Martial Arts) vs. Daniel James (Combat Do)Winner: After 3 rounds, James wins by Unanimous Decision.8. Earnest Downing vs. Albert Rodriguez (Rio Jiu Jitsu)Winner: Rodriguez wins by submission in 2:09 of Round 1 via a RNC.Main Event Title Fight9. Mitch Nix (Valko Jiu Jitsu/Team Toro) vs. Dinisio Gilbert (No Comment)Winner: After 5 rounds, Nix wins by Unanimous Decision.

FIGHTCARD50: RELOADED has been announced for Saturday, July 20th at Cicero stadium and plans on being a summer blockbuster hit matching veteran fi ghters with the new dominance in the game. FIGHTCARD & PMA Inc. will feature the best professional and amateur fi ghters in the Midwest and promising for Championship match ups. Fight-ers rumored for return are former FIGHTCARD Champions Maurice Greene, Guillermo Serment & Danny Morales with other fi ghter like Maurice Jackson, Terry House, Mike Santiago & former Cutthroat Champion Eddy Castillo. Don't miss the hottest MMA event this year.


www.FightCard.net

Email [email protected] GIRL INQUIRY?

Want to Compete?Contact Nilo @ 312.369.4180

On May 22nd, FIGHTCARD unleashed great fi ghts and an awesome match up in a title defense for the 185lb champion.1. Christian Lucero (Kaotic Punishment) vs. Carlos Hernandez (Combat Do)Winner: Hernandez wins by submission in 1:50 of Round 1 via a RNC. Muay Thai2. Jeremy Higgins (Robby Cole Muay Thai) vs. Evan Wright (Carlson Gracie)Winner: After 3 rounds, Wright wins by Unanimous Decision.3. Rob Podobinski (Predator Muay Thai) vs. Eder Brito (Victory Martial Arts)Winner: Podinski wins by submission in 1:30 of Round 2 via a RNC. Muay Thai4 . Tony Richards (Evanston Boxing Club) vs. Nam Ho (Robby Cole Muay Thai)Winner: After 3 rounds, Ho wins by Split Decision.5. Stephen Lee (Keller’s Martial Arts) vs. James Waller (Chicago Muay Thai)Winner: Waller wins by TKO in 1:34 or Round 1. Referee stops the fi ght due to strikes.6. Sam Ferguson (Carlson Gracie) vs. Rob Duczynski (Robby Cole Muay Thai)Winner: After 3 rounds, Ferguson wins by Split Decision. Muay Thai7. Rick Thurmand (Keller’s Martial Arts) vs. Daniel James (Combat Do)Winner: After 3 rounds, James wins by Unanimous Decision.8. Earnest Downing vs. Albert Rodriguez (Rio Jiu Jitsu)Winner: Rodriguez wins by submission in 2:09 of Round 1 via a RNC.Main Event Title Fight9. Mitch Nix (Valko Jiu Jitsu/Team Toro) vs. Dinisio Gilbert (No Comment)Winner: After 5 rounds, Nix wins by Unanimous Decision.

FIGHTCARD50: RELOADED has been announced for Saturday, July 20th at Cicero stadium and plans on being a summer blockbuster hit matching veteran fi ghters with the new dominance in the game. FIGHTCARD & PMA Inc. will feature the best professional and amateur fi ghters in the Midwest and promising for Championship match ups. Fight-ers rumored for return are former FIGHTCARD Champions Maurice Greene, Guillermo Serment & Danny Morales with other fi ghter like Maurice Jackson, Terry House, Mike Santiago & former Cutthroat Champion Eddy Castillo. Don't miss the hottest MMA event this year.

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Everytime the Hawks WIN “The Super Fan”

will buy a House Drink for everyone

.75 Cent Schnapps .75 Cent Schnapps

Come watch the Blackhawks Come watch the Blackhawks Come watch the Blackhawks

EVERY WEDNESDAY

NOW OPEN AT 7AM

EVERYDAY$3 UV Bombs

West 55th St p5

EVERY HOME RUN WINS A DRINK COMPLIMENTS OF

“THE SUPER FAN”

FACEBOOK.COM/WASSUPXTRAMAGAZINE 773.213.4597

“THE SUPER FAN”“THE SUPER FAN”

$3 LIME - A - RITASTRAW - BER - RITA

West 55th St p5

What's Up Xtra Southwest June 2013

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Transcript of What's Up Xtra Southwest June 2013