VOLUME FOURI S S U E 702 .12 .15

VOLUME FOURI S S U E 702 .12 .15

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Welcome to Armadillo Acres!Welcome to Armadillo Acres!The Great American Trailer Park Musical - Around and About, Page 7The Great American Trailer Park Musical - Around and About, Page 7

Chili CooK-OSaturday, February 21Cooking begins at 10am, judging at 3pm. Live music!

1263 Gruene Road 830.625.1045omalovesyou.com

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table of contents

8Citizen

SoundcheckThe ONLY guide of i ts kindfor the NB/SM Metroplex!

12

14Line Crushers

Our NFL handicappingcontest is back for 2014!

1st Word4-B makes our teethhur t from all thesugary wordplay.3

On OccasionHow to pick up chicks,

Farberer-style. 6Around & AboutThe Great American Trailer Park Musical!7

Last WordColby on climate, again.

15

The County sMost WantedLook Daddy! Mommys in the paper!

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4-B Sweet Talks PopulaceBackstoryLast week we told you wed run down the proposed noise ordinance in detail in this weeks edition. But then Bob Gray of the Citys 4-B Board countered our coverage of the Chapter 380 issue with his annual self-congratulatory piece in the Houston-owned Herald-Zeitung, and that stuffs gold. Cant just walk away from that baloney wagon without digging into it. Itd be ungrateful to the journalism gods. So well touch on the noise issue at the end of the column, but were devoting most of this weeks space to 4-B. This is a good one. We got something here we think youre really going to like.

4-B and the Chamber are run by the same guy, that guy being Michael Meek. The publisher of the Herald-Zeitung, who prints the 4-B press releases, sits on the Chamber Board, whose sole purpose is to keep Meek in charge. The people who occupy seats on that board will argue that vehemently, and to them I can only recommend a 100 level political science class. Meek also possesses the only functioning brain at 4-B. In any case, everybodys all wound up in everybody elses business in a Gordian knot of conflict of interest.

Bob Gray SpeaksAt the grand opening of the new Landa Park golf course, 4-B President Bob Gray described 4-B as a shop local program, as if tax dollars collected under 4-B are somehow used to promote local businesses. They are not. They are used as bribes incentives and corporate welfare to attract and/or keep large, well moneyed private businesses to/in town, and to help those large businesses not pay taxes and/or to obtain grants and/or loans on sweetheart terms. Often these businesses turn out to be run by criminals, as in the cases of Silver State Helicopters, the Leisure Pools spin-off company (the Texas Fiberglass Tank Company), and The Scooter Store. In business school these arrangements are referred to by their academic term, circle jerk. Note: Leisure Pools got the 4-B loan. The TFTC President and Director of Business Development were arrested by the FBI. Leisure Pools could be considered the victim in

that case, but hey, they brought the bad guys to town. Thanks, Leisure

Pools. Kids, be careful with whom you hang out.

The 4-B tax was sold to this town as a way to get roads and

drainage fixed, but for the most part is used for everything else. After

our First Word column of January 29, where we outlined the Citys newest corporate welfare program, Chapter 380, (article is pinned to the top of our Facebook page at facebook.com/txcitizen), 4-B President Bob Gray coincidentally submitted this lil nugget of deception to the HZ, who then disseminated it, without challenge, for the general public to lap up:

As president of the New Braunfels Industrial Development Corporation (or 4B Board), allow me to update Herald Zeitung readers on past and present investments 4B has made on behalf of the citizenry. Since 2006, 4B has invested over $36 million (or greater than 60 percent of our funds) in local quality of life and public infrastructure projects.

These include investments in Fischer Park, Landa Park, Brauntex Theatre, Circle Arts Theatre, Landa Street Bridge Lighting, FM 306 overpasses, the CTTC expansion, Landa Park Golf Course, the new Dog Park, the Downtown Restroom project and more.

The 4B Board invests in quality of life and infrastructure projects because we believe these initiatives help make New Braunfels more attractive to our citizens as well to prospective employers seeking to relocate or expand their operations.

In addition, this past August the 4B Board began discussing a five-year investment plan to help address some of the citys needs. We held a joint workshop with City Council in January introducing an initiative whereby as much as $50 million could be invested over the next 5+ years in more quality of life initiatives such as a youth sports park.

We intend for these investments to serve as a catalyst to further strengthen our local economy enticing additional private investment and economic expansion in our vibrant city. Though in the early stages, these potential 4B investments would likely be financed through a combination of cash and (historically) low interest debt.

Continued on page 5.

MIKEREYNOLDS

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wks of winter. While my Facebk fd has bn liered

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want to pretend that there is such a thing as

winter here, have a seat by the firepit with a

gla of red and a fine cigar. Maybe pour a lile

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Continued from page 3.While our primary mission is to help

create quality primary jobs, our activities also include a broad range of quality of life investments investments which benefit all in New Braunfels and hopefully serve to benefit and expand our sales tax base. We are enjoying a great economy and low unemployment, but history shows that we must not rest on our laurels. Change is constant, and we will continue to pursue economic opportunities for new jobs and wealth creation.

To conclude, the NBIDC remains a vigilant steward of the citizens money as we strive for more local economic development successes, while also investing in quality of life projects throughout New Braunfels.

Hey. Did you catch that? To conclude, the NBIDC remains a vigilant steward of the citizens money. Now hes just screwing with us. Thats thats part of some kind of joke. Heres what the criminals at Silver State Helicopters had to say about the City, Chamber, and 4-B Board they brazenly took to the cleaners. Read it twice:

When you look at building a company, there are a lot of political issues, said (Silver State) founder and Chief Executive Officer Jerry Airola. New Braunfels has been nothing but green lights for us. It seems that a lot of times if we need something we dont have to ask. And when we ask for something, they give us more than we need. - San Antonio Express News, 11/1/07

Read Nothing but green lights as No due diligence. 4-B and the Chamber just couldnt do enough for those little scamps. Hey guys, thanks for being such great stewards of the citizens money. Youre the tops.

Taxpayers are so incredibly under-protected here that Im surprised some guy in a panel van doesnt just grab us and sell us into white slavery. (Attention Canyon Lake readers: White slavery doesnt mean selling white people as farm labor. Anybody can be a victim and its for an entirely different kind of work.) Remember, anything done for Silver State without Silver State requesting it was something they werent on the hook for contractually. Excellent. And nothing has changed - current 4-B contracts are not written with an eye toward protecting the taxpayer, as weve shown with 2014s CBE deal, an issue we will revisit in upcoming weeks.

Bob, youre on the wrong side of this, and the more you talk, the deeper the hole

you dig. Its clear to us that the local populace is finally waking up to the incestuous relationship between 4-B, the Chamber, City Hall, and the large businesses/criminal enterprises you get in bed with.

Does small business get a break on taxes in this town? No. Do the locals get higher or lower property taxes? In the last three years those taxes (or the valuations theyre based on) have been approved to go up three times. (Or maybe four. Weve actually lost count.) Do the owners of large commercial buildings get ridiculously expensive upgrades to their buildings at taxpayer expense? YOU BET. 4-B does it for them, sends us the bill, and Michael Meek takes credit for the genius of the deal and the commensurate civic generosity.

4-B, youre sitting on $22 million taxpayer dollars, which is enough to pay off everybodys property taxes for nearly two years, but its earmarked for the politically connected. Go #### yourselves. Seriously. You need to really consider what youre doing. Its shameful.

Weve got to ask, are the millions of dollars that 4-B has paid to the Chamber of Commerce over the years, considered a quality of life project? Because thats a lot of scratch to provide to a small-town drinking club.

We have no doubt that 4-B will continue to pursue economic opportunities for new jobs and wealth creation, as long as those jobs and the wealth go to those with tight connections to Meeks Chamber of Commerce. Remember, To Serve Man was a cookbook.

Its time to liquidate 4-B. We cant afford the criminal element they keep bringing to town. Were still short cops and the FBI is getting tired of driving up here.

Noisy Noise NoiseWe swear upon all that is holy that well get into this noise ordinance thing, and soon. To hold you over we got this pretty swell letter from a Pour-Haus area resident (identifying information withheld because you know how people around here get with the pitchforks and whatall):

This whole noise ordinance issue is interesting to me. I live on West Mill Street about a half a block or so behind the Pour Haus. My wife and I have lived here at this address for ## years. In that time, about the only time Ive been able to hear anything at our house from the Pour Haus is on a weekend afternoon when theyve done a fund-raising effort to which the entire community has been invited to participate.

However, from this same address, I have been able to hear much, much more from Wurstfest and have also heard the speaker system at the Comal County Fair blaring across the country-side. It doesnt bother me that I do. Events such as these are why I live here.

However, I would just throw a caution into the wind along with the sounds of life in New Braunfels. If someone wants to propose a sound ordinance to eliminate goings-on at the Pour House, those next two events are even larger noise polluters. Does the city really want to go there?

Makes me wonder if those who are complaining about the Pour Haus really have something else on their moral agenda. Cause as you pointed out, the noise from the Pour Haus aint nothin compared to the incessant trains all hours of the day and night.

I only wish I could be at the Council meeting to bring this up, but, unfortunately, Ill be unavailable due to prior committments.

P.S. - I forgot to note that other big noise polluter which I can always clearly hear from our house (and to which the entire community is invited to the extent its a county holiday), the Comal County Fair Parade. In fact, it marches right past the Pour Haus--which has to disturb those same people promoting a noise ordinance against it.

Might have to muffle those trumpets and drums from the numerous high school bands which participate. Or invite them to solemnly march in silence. Or just not invite them all.

But then again, theyre not serving alcohol as theyre playing music, are they? Hmmmmm....

Anyway, it didnt come up at Council last Monday, so weve got time to cover this in detail before it all goes down.

\m/

Mike ReynoldsPublisher/Editor-in-Chief

9103 FM 1102San Braunfels (Hunter, TX)

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V DayThere has been no shortage of articles written about romance on Valentines Day. There has also been no shortage of verbiage that spews advice to men on the art of getting girlfriends.

Its all rot.As a special Valentines Day gift, Im

going to throw out even more words on the subject, all in the hope of teaching guys to get gals. This is valuable advice because I have had three wives and numerous girlfriends, and Im no great shakes. I have a successful record of getting into relationships. Unfortunately as my three wives and numerous girlfriends will attest I have been equally good at getting thrown out of them. (Someone needs to write a piece advising me on that last bit.)

This article, then, is dedicated to those guys who are struggling to make a place for themselves among those happy Valentines couples. This isnt advice for picking up women for one-night stands, or developing some game. Most of my advice is common sense for those males who have become completely senseless somewhere along their way.

As for the females, you dont have to do much because we men are a pretty desperate lot.

There are No Such Things as LeaguesHow many of you have had a friend tell you, Shes out of your league, Dude? The next time any your friends say that, look to see if they have any girlfriends. Ill wager they dont. That statement is actually a code for I dont want you to have a girlfriend because Im bitter and sad.

The whole concept of dating leagues is bunk. Only sports have leagues. Payton Manning is out of my league. This is because he is possibly the greatest quarterback who has ever played in the National Football League. While I, on the other hand, am aged, slow and complain a lot about my feet hurting.

Heed this, because it is valuable advice: Women are not leagues. They are people. Hell, if women were leagues I would have never married even one of my three wives.

Let me tell you a story.On a Valentines evening so very many

years ago, I met a girl on an elevator.I was bored and went into a hotel (whose

name I wont mention). My fascination with this particular hotel was that it sported a lavish presidential suite that took up the entire top floor.

I was determined to see this suite for myself, but it had its own private elevator, which the hotel personnel wouldnt let me ride (the bastards). Instead, I rode the pauper elevators to the next highest floor and went up the fire exit to the top floor in an attempt and get in through the service entrance, but it was locked.

Since I was clever, I went back to my car and got a crowbar from the trunk and headed back into the hotel. No one there questioned why I had a crowbar, but this was a time before they passed laws to deal with people like me.

I rode the elevator up with a young, extremely attractive woman who told me she was there to meet a client. The obviously high-priced call girl asked why I had a crowbar, so I told her. She told me that she wished she could break into the suite with me, instead of having to meet some guy named John. Then, unexpectedly, she gave me her phone number and asked that I call her in a couple of days.

We dated for three months until she moved away. Some of those who saw us together likely thought she was out my league.

But there are no such things as leagues. No girl is too good for you to ask out on a date.

Except for my daughter.

Dont be CreepyThis should really be the most obvious tip, but it is sadly the sticking point for so many young men. The good news is that not being creepy is easy:

1). Look but dont stare. There is a difference: Looking is what we do when something interesting moves past our field of vision. Staring is what a lion does before it kills a gazelle. A lion preparing for the kill has the same facial expression as men looking at strippers. If youve ever seen that gape-mouthed leer, it will make you despair for the male condition.

2). Dont tell women how big you are. As well, dont send women photos your

stuff. Men who do this are under the mistaken impression that women think like men. Yes, men love to see pictures of a womans nakedness. Women, on the other had, dont appreciate a mans unsolicited naked. This is because and lets be honest here women are more attractive than men.

3). Dont follow her around everywhere she goes. One piece of old advice tells you to plan to be wherever she is. This is, presumably, to keep the intendeds thoughts on you. However, this can easily slip from being cute into being a stalker. If that happens, she will certainly think about you, but not in a healthy way.

4). DO NOT ask her to marry you on the first date. Really, people do this. This is like shaking someones hand you meet for the first time and they try to give you an open-mouthed kiss. Its too much, too quick, too frightening.

5). If you call her and she doesnt answer, leave it at that. Dont keep calling her every 15 minutes. That will make anyone want to crawl out of their skin.

6). If shes not ready for a commitment, threatening suicide will not change her mind.

7). Just because she smiles at you, doesnt mean youre in a relationship. Dont create a relationship that is not actually there.

Remember when you were in elementary school and the kids had to get Valentines cards for everyone in the class so no one would feel left out? Remember when you would look repeatedly at the card you received from the girl you liked in the hope that there was some secret message that professed her love? (ie; What did she really mean with the card that read, My Spidey senses say youre my Valentines). This is no different than thinking a girl likes you just because she smiled and said Hi, except now youre an adult and should know better.

Show TactThe best way to behave with a woman is to not act like you do with your guy friends. Women are not men and have a whole other set of rules, which they dont always tell you about. But here are some of the basics:

1). Your bodily noises, no matter how impressive, will not be considered charming.

2). Chew with your damn mouth closed.3). Dont compliment her by referring to

various body parts (hers or yours). Dont tell her she looks as hot as a stripper.

4). If you want to buy her a small gift for your first date, thats OK. Flowers or candy may be old fashioned, but thats because they are acceptable and, trust me, they work. Never buy her a ring or lingerie.

5). Dont ask her if shes a model. Thats a stupid line older than I am. Likewise, dont ask if shes done porno films.

How to Talk to a GirlIf youve never met her before, get to know her first. Then, ask for her phone number before you ask her out. The most important first step to success in gaining a girlfriend is to create a dialogue.

1). Dont tell absurd lies to make yourself sound more interesting. Dont tell her youre a ninja, an ultimate fighter, a wizard, a masseuse, a spy or a modeling agent.

2). Dont be too honest. Dont tell her how much you love your mother, or that youre a Satanist. Dont reveal your humiliating medical history or your questionable legal history.

3). Some people will tell you to just be yourself. Dont do that either. As men, we are a collection of noises, smells and itches. You can revert to that state once youre married. I did, which possibly explains the three ex-wives. She will put in an effort to attract you, so return the courtesy.

The hard truth about asking girls out is that you are going to get turned down more often than not. Dont take it so personally. Most women are very polite and try not to hurt a mans feeling(s) when they turn him down. I know that its nerve-wracking to ask a woman out, but the alternative is to become a creepy recluse.

The best advice is to simply get to know women. Be interested in who they are and what they have to say. Just follow that simple tactic and you will find you can date almost any girl you want.

Except for my daughter.

On Occasion with Ed Farberer

Im what you call, endowed.

TXCITIZEN.COM 7

AROUND& ABOUT

"Joe Dirt" meets "A Little Night Music" in the Circle Arts Theater production of "The Great American Trailer Park Musical", which opened last week. Get yourself over there and see the show - but leave the kids at home for this one, because the hijinks at the Armadillo Acres Trailer Park are decidedly adult in nature! This hilarious musical runs through March 1. For more information, call the box ofce at 830-837-6172. PBR available at the snack bar.

presents the Annual

Chili CooK-OSaturday, February 21

Cooking begins at 10am, judging at 3pm. Live music!

THE MONTY "GUITAR" TYLER BAND @ 1 THE MIGHTY ORQ @ 6

All-Access Tasting Passes are Just $5!

All proceeds benefit the Keith Pevoto Fight Fund.

1263 Gruene Road 830.625.1045omalovesyou.com

Sponsered bySponsered by

8 AD SALES 830.358.2493

Thu 2.12

Adobe VerdeJosh Holden

6pm

Oma Gruenes Secret GartenJam Night

6pm

Phoenix SaloonDoug Kent

5pm

AJs Ale HouseRock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show

9pm

Gruene HallChubby Checker & the Wildcats

w/ The Peterson Brothers

7pm, $35

The Pour HausCody Coggins

8pm

Rileys TavernRobert Banta

9pm

Fri 2.13

Adobe VerdeJonathan Garcia

6:30pm

Black Whale PubCourt Nance

8pm

The Happy CowSlim Bawb

8pm

Oma Gruenes Secret GartenHipsonic

6:30pm

Phoenix SaloonBroseph

5pm

Mayeux & Broussard

w/ Kathryn Legendre

9pm

Watering Hole SaloonTBA

8pm

AJs Ale HouseRock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show

9pm

Alpine Haus RestaurantOff the Grid Polka Band

6pm

Billys Ice HouseWes Nickson

8pm

Geronimo VFW #8456Michael McMullen (Elvis Impersonator)

7pm, $10

Gruene HallWilliam Clark Green

w/ Blue Water Highway

8pm, $12

The Pour HausFlywood

8:30pm

Rileys TavernThe Freightshakers

9pm

Vineyard at GrueneJacob Clark

7pm

Vino en VerdeKenndred Spirits

8:30pm

Sat 2.14

Adobe VerdeJJ Garrett Band

6:30pm

Black Whale PubDaniel Thomas Phipps

9pm

Oma Gruenes Secret GartenPardo & Reed

1pm

Cold Snap!

6pm

Phoenix SaloonBlue Water Highway

9pm

AJs Ale HouseRock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show

9pm

Billys Ice HouseMark McKinney

8pm

YOUR LIVE MUSIC

GUIDE

8 AD SALES 830.358.2493 TXCITIZEN.COM 9

Gruene HallSol Patch

1pm

Shinyribs

w/ The Os

8pm, $15

NB Farm to MarketAshlee Rose

9am

The Pour HausJeremy Steding

9:30pm

Rileys TavernBilly Bacon & the Forbidden Pigs

9pm

Vineyard at GrueneSarah McSweeny

3pm

The Hip Replacements

7pm

Vino en VerdeThe Vagabonds

8:30pm

Sun 2.15

Oma Gruenes Secret GartenKim & Her Bad Habits

2pm

Phoenix SaloonAdam Johnson

3pm

True Audio Outland

7pm

Billys Ice HouseAustin Meade

7pm

Geronimo VFW #8456Weldon Henson

3pm

Gruene HallThe Bellfuries

12pm

The Tejas Brothers

4pm

The Pour HausPorter Robinson & Strange Bacon

8pm

Mon 2.16Gruene Hall

Bret Graham

6pm

The Pour HausMichael Kelton

8pm

Rileys TavernNigel Egg

9pm

Tues 2.17

Watering Hole SaloonTBA

8:30pm

Billys Ice HouseKevin Galloway

8pm

Bonzai Steak & SushiSmooth Jazz

w/ Sam Harriss

6pm

Comal Country Music ShowKC Hall

Priscilla Speed, Arnold Parker,

Chuck Reininger

6pm

Gruene HallSlim Bawb

6pm

The Pour HausOpen Mic w/ Jon Magill

8pm

Wed 2.18

Phoenix SaloonSwing Dance Night

8pm

Billys Ice HouseAaron Stephens

8pm

Gruene HallThe Georges

6pm

The Pour HausWhiskey Rodeo

8pm

Rileys TavernMike Ethan Messick

9pm

Vineyard at GrueneZack Walther

6pm

S O U N D C H E C K B R O U G H T T O Y O U B Y:

GET YOUR MUSIC ON

Adobe Verde1724 Hunter Rd

830.629.0777

Black Whale Pub367 Main Plaza

830.625.6605

The Happy Cow9103 FM 1102

512.667.7510

Oma Gruenes Secret Garten1263 Gruene Rd

830.625.1045

Phoenix Saloon193 W San Antonio St

830.643.1400

Watering Hole Saloon1390 McQueeney Rd

830.625.0045

PRICKLY PEAR LOUNGE

THURSDAYJohnny V's Karaoke Magic!

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White Ghost Shivers

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Mike Flanigin Trio, 10:30pm, $5

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By Gustavo Arellano

Dear Mexican: Can you please

explain to me the basis as to why some

Chicanos and mexicanos get offended

when you speak to them in Spanish? As

a fellow Chicano, I find it hard to believe

that raza gets offended by this genuine

approach to them.

Have you noticed this behavior

yourself? That little dirty look that

comes from when you say Hola to

them makes it hard to even approach.

Is this pattern more deeply rooted

in the times where speaking Spanish

was shameful act in the U.S.? And to

be accepted, many Chicanos were

prohibited from speaking Spanish?

If the Reconquista was to ever be

fulfilled, how would Spanish-speaking

Chicanos, and non-Spanish-speaking

Chicanos get along?

Habla Henry

Dear Henry is Speaking: As if Mexicans

dont have it hard enoughnarcos back

home, Know Nothings in the States, and a

Mexican soccer team that probably wont win

the FIFA World Cup in our lifetimecomes

this conundrum. I get the underlying anger of

Chicanos and Mexicans who dont want to

speak Spanishtheyre upset you dont think

theyre smart enough to understand English, or

are so ashamed of not knowing Spanish that

they take it out on you. But the flip side to that

is Mexicans who get enojados if you address

them in Englishas if youre supposed to

know they dont speak it!

Cant paisas and pochos get along?

And the answer is of course, no. Thats

why the Mexican always greets everyone,

regardless of linguistic ability, with a

mariachi cry, the universal language of

chingones, and goes from there.

Dear Mexican: I have to do an

interview report on Mexican culture

and I need to interview a person thats

from Mexico but I dont know about

that culture even though Im Mexican

myself but you Mexicans call me a

whitewashed Mexican so I dont think I

will have the questions that I will need

so anyways what good questions should

I ask when I do my interview report

about Mexican culture or anything

about the Mexican things?

Run Ronaldo Run

Dear Wab: Asking the Mexican about

questions to ask Mexicans about Mexicans?

How meta! The only real pregunta I have for

my raza that I dont have an answer for is why

more of you didnt buy my Taco USA: How

Mexican Food Conquered America, or how

come someone hasnt started a torta chain

thatll turn Chipotle into the next Chi-Chis.

CONFIDENTIAL TO: Know Nothings

who are trying to blame the recent measles

outbreak on Mexicansit aint happening.

Vaccination studies show that Mexicans are

among the most vaccinated people in the

United States, whether getting shots here as

chicos or those crazy needles that our parents

and cousins had to undergo back in Mexico

that left a giant mark on their arms that looks

like a Neolithic-era ceremonial scarring.

The least vaccinated people in los

Estados Unidos, on the other hand,

are gabachos: Amish, survivalists, and

suburban moms who lunch on kale. The

myth of Mexicans bringing pandemics to

kill off gabachos is a tool that the Right

tries to use again and again to further

their career, but the last guy who tried it?

Former CNN host Lou Dobbs? Remember

him? Hes competing against a UHF signal

nowadays, and that destiny will happen to

all conspiracy-spewing gabachos like him

oh, and beautiful half-Mexican grandkids.

Ask the Mexican at themexican@askamexican.net,

be his fan on Facebook, follow him on Twitter @gustavoarellano or follow him

on Instagram @gustavo_arellano!

ASK A MEXICAN!

!

MOST WANTED

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MEDELLIN, JESSE RODRIGUEZMale 507 200 lbsDOB: 01/01/1976CHARGE: Possession of a controlled substance pg 1 under 1 gram and theft of property under $1500 with 2 or more previous convictions

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GUERRERO,JAIMEMale 507 130 lbsDOB: 10/04/1971CHARGE: Failure to appear- driving while intoxicated 3rd or more

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Male 509 198 lbsDOB: 03/09/1973

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Female 505 110 lbs

DOB: 03/27/1967

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LOFTUSFemale 509 155 lbs

DOB: 07/11/1975CHARGE: Failure to

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WOODS,MICHAEL

Male 601 180 lbsDOB: 01/26/1965

CHARGE: Possession with intent to deliver a controlled substance

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Male 508 130 lbsDOB: 07/20/1966

CHARGE: Failure to appear- forgery

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The names listed have been released in accordance with the Texas Public Information Act. This is a true and accurate account as of Monday, February 2, 2015 at 10:37 am and may not be current by the time it is read. Do not try to apprehend anyone. These are listings of criminal warrants with the Comal County Sheriff s Office and are not indicative of guilt or innocence. Officers are to verify the status of each warrant prior to making an arrest. Any person is innocent of wrongdoing unless proven guilty in a court of law.

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Last WordWith Kelly Colby

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TXCITIZEN.COM 15

On Climate Change. Again.I thought I had said everything that I was going to about climate change quite some time ago. In part this was because I felt that there was no hope of changing minds on the subject. I expected that time would sort things out; as climate models became increasingly more inaccurate with regard to future temperature, the idea of anthropomorphic global warming (AGW) would go the way of the 70s big freeze media fuss. Everything seemed to be proceeding as expected. When 2014 was declared the warmest year on record, it was almost immediately met with the explanation that this was only true if you ignored the margin of error, allowing you to have a certainty in the 30 percent range. When the margin of error was figured in it became clear that there hasnt been any warming at all for over a decade now. Most recently, though, it has come to my attention that some of my less statist friends also believe in the climate change claptrap, so perhaps propaganda must perpetually be opposed, if only to protect the integrity of science.

Lets start with the basics; Im a denier. Thats right, you heard me. Im a climate denier! What that means, apparently, is that I dont believe we should destroy our economy combating a largely unproven threat. That said, I think its only fair to say that even the idea that the planet is currently warming (to any significant degree) is one I find, thus far, unproven. I recognize that this puts me in the minority, and Im ok with that. I would hardly deride someone who believes otherwise, even if they wouldnt offer me the same courtesy. But, I am unconvinced that we can make broad reaching claims with less than 200 years of even remotely accurate data.

One of the reasons that you will see some charts of temperature data go back only to 1850 is that this is about as far back as one can go with actual temperature readings. Even back to this point, historic temperature records are notoriously spotty and focused in the Northern Hemisphere. Creating a global average temperature is a colossal feat of speculation and statistical probabilities. It requires filling in missing data and making assumptions about what an

average temperature is in the first place. These charts are the ones that show the most extreme warming trends (about 2 degrees Fahrenheit).

A careful look at these charts of recorded temperature data will reveal that there is a margin for error in the numbers. Ive seen the numbers for this vary, but a +/- of a degree Celsius is not uncommon (about .3 degrees Fahrenheit). Now, ask yourself if you truly believe that temperature records can be said to be accurate to 1/3 of a degree prior to electronic measurements? That seems a little optimistic to me. The idea that this should further translate to speculated temperatures (guesses) makes my BS meter buzz continuously and loudly.

Data before actual temperature readings is even worse. This information is extrapolated from a variety of sources, but I trust none of them so much as I would trust a farmer from 1855 checking an alcohol based thermometer attached to the side of his barn as he rushes to get in out of the winter wind. Worse, I was always taught that any set of data is only as good as the least reliable of the measurements. After all, if I did some of the measurements for the construction of your house with a laser measuring tool and others with an 11 foot piece of string I cut to size by eyeballing it with a ruler, how comfortable would you feel when it came time to get it inspected?

Most recently, all of this has been compounded by information indicating that those aggregating and interpreting the climate record may be as prone to exaggeration as Brian Williams after a few drinks.

There are legitimate reasons to change raw temperature data. Locations of stations change over time, and this could change the results in a more-or-less predictable way. Likewise temperature measurements might be taken at different times, and this would require some level of adjustment. All these things can be done using other readings (again there is likely a substantial error rate), but that requires that the person making the adjustments is doing so in a fair way.

Initially, some results from South America were called into question when logical reasons for changes in data for several stations in a region were not forthcoming.

Explanations like the one I offered above were posited, but none of them appeared to have actually been true for the stations in question. This has been compounded by accusations that similar adjustments have been made to much of the arctic data.

Again, there are legitimate reasons for altering data, but when all alterations seem to be made in the direction of showing more warming in recent years, I get suspicious. I think its fair to expect some explanation of how and why the data was altered. Checking the numbers seems an appropriate precaution in this case.

What I offer in this article are reasons to be skeptical of even the notion that the earth has been warming perceptibly. This is probably the easiest claim made by proponents of AGW to accept, and Im just not convinced. If you are convinced, I ask if you are likewise convinced that the warming trend can be said to represent something substantially out of line for an interglacial period in Earths history. Lastly, the question of just how damaging this warming is should be examined if you can accept all the rest.

These are the areas that I will need to be convinced on before I am even willing to entertain a discussion of what we should do to stop AGW, if anything. I find it very unlikely that I will be willing to accept that the only solution to the problem is to give governments even more authoritarian control over economics. My primary philosophy remains libertarian, and whether AGW exists or not isnt going to change that.

Until that time, I will remain a denier, and I will continue to invite others to join me. I dont want people to refuse to accept evidence, but I do want them to inspect it. An important part of scientific thinking is carefully examining data with a skeptical eye. Even in areas where the data is perfectly trustworthy, I never accept someones conclusions based on that data without question. Doing so is just being a good consumer of information. Theres a distinct difference between believing in science and being a fool.

Last WordWith Kelly Colby

You can read more from Kelly Colby at yourfirstshrug.blogspot.com.

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