Jewish Standard, May 29, 2015

The wild tales of Catch the Jew authorTuvia Tenenbom

Reporting from the fields

JSTANDARD.COM

201584NORTH JERSEY

SHOULD WE TOUGHEN OR BABY OUR KIDS? page 6ROCKLAND: ANSWERS ON WHY JEWS LEAVE SHULS page 16HOW TO BUILD AN AMERICAN SHTETL page 36

IN THIS ISSUE MAY 29, 2015VOL. LXXXIV NO. 36 $1.00

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JEWISH STANDARD MAY 29, 2015 3

NOSHES ...................................................4ROCKLAND .......................................... 16OPINION ...............................................20COVER STORY .................................... 26GALLERY .............................................. 38TORAH COMMENTARY ................... 39CROSSWORD PUZZLE ....................40ARTS & CULTURE ...............................41CALENDAR ..........................................42OBITUARIES ........................................45CLASSIFIEDS ......................................46REAL ESTATE ......................................48

CONTENTS

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lisher. 2015

Candlelighting: Friday, May 29, 8:01 p.m.Shabbat ends: Saturday, May 30, 9:09 p.m.

German neonatologist, 102, receives Ph.D. denied by Nazis A 102-year-old German neonatologist passed her doctoral defense exam, nearly eight decades after the Nazis denied her the op-portunity to take the test.Ingeborg Syllm-Rapoport,

a former professor of pediat-rics and head of the neona-tology department at Berlins prominent Charite Hospital, passed the exam at the Uni-versity of Hamburg on May 13.She completed her thesis on diphthe-

ria in 1938, but Nazi authorities refused to allow her to take the oral exam be-cause her mother was Jewish.Syllm-Rapoport, who retired in 1973,

will receive her doctoral certificate next month.This is about principle, not about

me, she told the Daily Tagesspiegel. I did not defend the work for my own sake; that whole situation was not easy for me at 102 years old. I did it for the victims. The university wanted to make amends for wrongs and has shown great patience, for which I am grateful.

Syllm-Rapoport immigrated to the United States in 1938 and was required to study for two additional years to be certified as a doctor, despite graduat-ing from a German medical school. She married in 1946 and the couple returned to Germany after her husband fell victim to the anti-Communist witch-hunt of the 1950s. JTA WIRE SERVICE

Montana man shoots bartender over non-kosher drink A man from Montana was charged with attempted homi-cide for shooting a bartender who served him a non-kosher drink.Monte Leon Hanson, 59, alleg-

edly shot Joe Lewis, who is also his neighbor, and killed Lewis dog the morning after the bartender made Hanson a red beer beer and tomato juice at his Hamilton bar using the Clamato tomato drink rather than tomato juice. One of the ingredients in Clamato is clam broth.When Hanson learned the drink

was made with Clamato he be-came angry, saying it was against his religion, according to the affi-davit, The Missoulian reported.Early the next morning, on May 9,

Hanson reportedly followed Lewis when he left their apartment building to take out his dog. Another neighbor then heard four to six gunshots. He found Lewis holding his dog, dead from a gunshot wound to his head.

Lewis also was injured from the gun-shots.Lewis had been carrying the dog,

who had a leg injury, which protected him from some of the bullets.Hansons bail was set at $250,000. JTA WIRE SERVICE

Photoshopping the face of Israels government Another group of women in powerful positions, another group of charedi Orthodox papers eras-ing them.After each new Israeli government is sworn

in, its ministers pose for a group photo with the president. This years photo features Israels three women ministers in the middle row Culture and Sport Minister Miri Regev, Justice Minister Ayelet Shaked, and Senior Citizens, Minorities and Gen-der Equality Minister Gila Gamliel.Regev, Shaked, and Gamliel all are smiling.

But if you saw the photo on charedi news site Bhadrei Haredim, you wouldnt know that. Their faces are all blurred out.Of course, its not only womens faces that are

problematic for some charedi Jews. So a revised version blurred the bared legs that were left vis-ible in the first picture.

Blurring, though, ultimately is for amateurs; it shows that something is being hidden. So kudos to the charedi paper that, doing the editors of the Great Soviet Encyclopedia proud, edited the women out of the picture entirely, replacing them with male ministers who had stood at the edges of the shot. If nothing else, it made for a slightly more compact picture.But in a reminder that the awesome powers of

Photoshop can be used for good, one Facebook wag came up with a way to be sensitive to cha-redi sensibilities without misogyny. She replaced the faces of all the ministers men and women alike with those of Muppets. Frankly, thats the image of a diverse, multicolored, warm and fuzzy Israeli government we all can rally behind.

LARRY YUDELSON & BEN SALES/JTA WIRE SERVICE.

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I will not use any of the Yiddishisms Rahm Emanuel taught me because I want to be invited back. President Barak Obama, speaking at Congregation Adas Israel in Washington, referring to his notoriously vulgar former chief of staff (now Chicagos mayor).

Want to read more noshes? Visit facebook.com/jewishstandard

tions on how to submit a video scrolled under-neath his statement.Now, this request has

got some publicity in the general media and the Jewish press, but as of May 20, just two vid-eos were submitted to YouTube. Maybe entries are going to the other approved platforms Twitter, Instagram, and Tumblr. But clearly, you still have time to be con-sidered, so go to You-Tube and enter just this: #CordenMitzvah Bonus: If you submit a video and win the contest, you and your family will instantly become Garden State Jewish celebrities wor-

thy of a mention in this column!

Variety recently featured an article about the

May 19 appearance of the cast and crew of the Amazon series Trans-parent at the Paley Center in New York. Transparent star JEFFREY TAMBOR, 70, who plays a transgender Jewish character, Maura, said that he was throw-up nervous about the scene in which he came out to his daughter. He explained that he was thinking, I need to do it correctly for the (trans-gender) community, because lives are at

stake.Tambor, who won a

Golden Globe for playing Maura, was much more upbeat about series creator JILL SOLOWAY picking him for the role and the role itself: Every daydream I had is com-ing true now. Im very grateful. Meanwhile, Soloway, 49, explained the series origin: Her fa-ther, psychiatrist HARRY SOLOWAY, came out as transgender to her in a phone call about three

years ago and about 10 seconds after, I was writ-ing a show in my head, she said. By the way, she calls her father Moppa, the same term Mauras children use.Of course, the report-

ers asked if Bruce Jenner, who recently came out publically as transgender, has seen the show. Yes, he and the rest of the Kar-dashians have seen it, and it has helped Bruce feel more comfortable coming out, Soloway said. N.B.

Jeremy Piven

ENTOURAGE 2.0:

Piven pivots to big screen

Emmanuelle Chriqui

Doug Ellin Jeffrey Tambor

Entourage, the HBO show that ended in 2011,

returns as a feature film it opens on Wednes-day, June 3. The series ended with super-agent Ari Gold (played by JEREMY PIVEN, 49) becoming a film studio head. The movie has Ari risking his career by greenlighting a big-bud-get film starring Vincent Chase (Adrian Grenier), his biggest former client. The whole TV cast is in the film, including EMMANUELLE CHRIQUI, 37, as Sloan, who played the girlfriend of Chases business manager, Eric, and was pregnant when the series ended; SCOTT CAAN, 38, as Scott Lavin, a ruthless actors agent, and MARTIN LANDAU, 86, as Bob Ryan, a former top producer who still has irons in the fire.The TV series was

noted for cameos of real celebs playing them-selves or, in a few cases, as with SETH GREEN, 41, and BOB SAGET, 59, playing weird versions of themselves in longer scenes. The movie has a busload of celebs do-ing cameos, including Saget, Dallas Mavericks owner MARK CUBAN, 57, and supermodel EMILY RATAJKOWSKI, 23.Entourage was cre-

ated and largely writ-ten by DOUG ELLIN, 47, and Ellin also wrote and directed the movie. A little checking reveals that while Ellin says he grew up celebrating just a couple of Jewish holi-days, he is really active now in speaking engage-ments before Jewish and pro-Israel groups all around the country. I give Ellin props for cre-ating perhaps the only all-Jewish power couple on TV, Ari Gold and his wife, Melissa. Mrs. Gold is played by actress Perrey Reeves, who isnt Jew-ish. But Reeves, aided by good writing, does a great job in depicting a Jewish woman who has a Jewish persona but is not a stereotype and isnt just an appendage of her hard-charging husband.

On April 29, James Corden, the new host of

the Late Late Show on CBS, referred to singer Nicki Minajs appearance at a bar mitzvah and said that his show would try and top that. He then said, Were asking you, parents, to send a video telling us how James, Reggie, and all of The Late Late Show can possibly help make your familys bar or bat mitzvah one sure to make headlines. Instruc-

Rashida Jones helms Hot Girls Wanted On May 29, Netflix is premiering Hot Girls Wanted, a documentary that screened at Sundance. It is a serious look at the largely unregulated amateur porn industry and the filmmaker is actress/writer RASHIDA JONES, 39. (The daughter of actress PEGGY LIPTON, 68, and musician Quincy Jones. Rashida is perhaps best known for her role on Parks and Recreation.) Jones other films include the excellent 2012 Celeste and Jesse, which she co-wrote. She is now co-writing Toy Story 4.

N.B.

Rashida Jones

California-based Nate Bloom can be reached at [email protected]

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Should we toughen or baby our kids?Panel at Emanuel at Franklin Lakes to look at innocence, experience, expectations

JOANNE PALMER

Say you begin with the assumption that just about everything in life demands a balance between work and pleasure, home and office, fam-ily and friends, saving and spending, responsi-bility and heedlessness, tradition and change. Thats just part of being an adult. Maybe you can call it the balance between pleasure and pain.

But what about children? What about ado-lescents? What do they have to balance? What do we as their parents have to balance for them?

Thats what Rabbi Joseph H. Prousers lat-est panel, Preserving Youthful Innocenceor Teaching Adult Responsibilities What Do We

Owe Our Children? will explore.Rabbi Prouser, who heads Temple Emanuel

of North Jersey in Franklin Lakes, said that we parents, educators, leaders, and the com-munity in general have two very different sets of responsibilities toward our children. One is to teach them adult responsibilities, to help them grow up, he said. The other is the critical responsibility to protect and preserve their innocence, to keep them as children so they can have a full, wholesome experience of childhood.

Both goals are legitimate, and they are in tension, he said.

In the Jewish community, I think we tend to downplay the virtue of wholesome innocence,

and to welcome kids to a mature and worldly experience earlier than we ought to, without thinking about the consequences, he contin-ued. I would like us to focus on what we are doing best, and how we might do it better.

Is the dilemma different in the Jewish world than in the broader outside one? Im not sure, he said. But with so much atten-tion in Jewish education circles placed on the bar and bat mitzvah, I think a lot of the issues are expressed with that demographic, and that is where we can clearly see the fault line between preserving innocence and cultivating experience.

Its like the old joke, he went on. Today I am a man tomorrow its back to eighth grade.

Soon after the last fountain-pen retort dries up, the next hurdle arises. College applica-tions. But its not just the process of getting into college, Rabbi Prouser said. Its the pro-cess of building up a resume. It starts with get-ting into the right preschool.

Its an issue that the Jewish community should be aware of, he said.

Dr. Gary Mirkin, a Great Neck-based pedia-trician, has known Rabbi Prouser for decades; in fact, it was Dr. Mirkin who provided Rabbi Prouser with much of the medical information Rabbi Prouser used in his groundbreaking, strongly pro-vaccination paper for the Con-servative movements Committee for Jewish Law and Standards.

I have seen a lot of the freedom that par-ents give children, and the balance between freedom and direction, Dr. Mirkin said. There are always some parents who swing too far in one way, and others who go too far the other way. The general trend seems to be toward too much direction, but there always are exceptions to the rule.

As stressful as becoming a bar or bat mitz-vah might be, there are so many other pres-sures put on children and teenagers that he thinks that particular pressure might be over-stated. Younger teens are so consumed with the core curriculum, and with the growing

emphasis on seemingly near-constant test-ing I have seen a lot of psychiatric issues with testing, he said and with older kids so overwhelmed with college, he thinks the pressures of becoming bnai mitzvah are rela-tively minor.

Joel Wiest of Kinnelon, the lone non-Jew on the panel, is an old friend of Rabbi Prousers; the two both work with the Boy Scout move-ment. He brings at least two perspectives to the evening that are not only fascinating but also unusual.

Mr. Weist works for Toys R Us Im on the finance side, so I dont develop products, but I do get to work in an office that we deco-rate with toys, he said. Its a real whimsical atmosphere; we are focused on bringing joy into the lives of children and families. He is also a Mormon bishop. I did a mission to Hol-land and Belgium, and came home and got married, he said. We have four kids and 10 grandkids.

We are very family-focused most cultures and religious traditions are and children are very important to us. Positioning them to suc-ceed in life is very important to us. So there is a burden placed on parents, to prepare our children to make good decisions, so they can be happy as adults. There is also a responsi-bility for us as parents, within the four walls of the home, to create an environment where there is a lot of joy.

There is a tension, because being happy over the long haul means being responsible, so you can learn to be responsible. You cant have dessert at every meal. Thats the tension I hope to explore with the panel.

This is not just talk for Mr. Wiest. His church has assigned him a big and new job. Although most Mormon churches use the geographically based parish model you go to the church near you he will open a congregation, called the Caldwell Young Single Adult Ward, aimed

Who: Rabbi Joseph H. Prouser will moderate

What: A panel discussion, Preserving Youthful Innocenceor Teaching Adult Responsibilities What Do We Owe Our Children? featuring Jules A. Gutin, Amy Lefkowitz, Dr. Gary S. Mirkin, and Joel Wiest.

Where: Temple Emanuel of North Jersey, 558 High Mountain Road, Franklin Lakes

When: Monday, June 1, from 7:30 to 9:00 p.m.

For more information: Email [email protected] or call (201) 560-0200

What: Gala dinner

When: June 7 at 5:30 p.m.

Where: Temple Emanuel of North Jersey, 558 High Mountain Road, Franklin Lakes

For more information: Email [email protected] or call (201) 560-0200

Jules Gutin

Amy Lefkowitz

Joel Wiest

Rabbi Joseph Prouser

Dr. Gary Mirkin

Its like the old joke Today I am a man tomorrow its back to eighth

grade.RABBI JOSEPH PROUSER

There are always some parents who

swing too far in one way, and

others who go too far the other way. The general trend

seems to be toward too much

direction.DR. GARY MIRKIN

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specifically at young people. So if you are between 18 and 30 and unattached and live in Bergen, Hudson, Passaic, or Essex counties and of course if you are Mormon this is where you will go to church.

Another panelist, Jules Gutin of Teaneck, will be a particularly special guest. Mr. Gutin grew up at Temple Emanuel, first as an active congregant, part of an active family, and then as a youth leader, when the shul still was in Paterson.

On June 7, Mr. Gutin will be honored at Emanuels annual gala dinner. Before that, though, he will talk on the panel.

Mr. Gutin worked at the New York-based international office of United Syn-agogue Youth, the Conservative move-ments youth group, for 43 years; for 22 of them, he was USYs director. My expe-rience is primarily with teenagers, except for my own four children, he said. I will spend a few minutes talking about what I learned over the years in dealing with Jewish teenagers. A lot about teaching them adult responsibility, at least from my point of view, has to do with respect-ing teenagers, trusting them with respon-sibility, and making them aware of the

world around them, particularly about some of the things that might not be evi-dent to them.

What about the other side of the ten-sion, the innocence? I am talking about one particular age group, but I dont know that in todays world there is much innocence left by the time they reach 14 or 15, he said. A lot of that has to do with the world we live in rapid commu-nications, social media, all the things that are around them. I dont know that we were always as aware of things in my own teenage years. There were a lot of things that just werent part of the conversation.

But in a sense, the lack of innocence is not necessarily always a bad thing. Heightened awareness allows us to be able to discuss those aspects of life more openly, and allows people to make more rational decisions if we handle it prop-erly, and can use it properly in terms of teachable moments, and of the advice and guidance we can give them.

The fourth panelist, Amy Lefkowitz, is the deputy mayor of Fair Lawn, an attor-ney who specializes in family law, the daughter of a rabbi, and the mother of a 4-year-old. As a law student she did a great deal of work with battered women,

and now, as a divorce lawyer, she sees the effect of family stress on children.

Although it is easy and old-school to tell children You dont have to worry. Mommy and Daddy have grown-up problems, but we both love you, that approach is more theory than reality, Ms. Lefkowitz said. Then they hear their parents on the phone. Parents, the judi-cial system, and the judge try to protect children, but it is hard.

Children know more than they should, Ms. Lefkowitz said. Aside from what they might see or hear at home, social media makes it much harder to

keep information private. Parents post things, she said. Then when the kids go to school, another kid will say My mom saw a picture of your mom with her new boyfriend and the kid will say What do you mean? My mom doesnt have a boyfriend!

There are many ways to help children deal with real-world problems, but decid-ing which methods to use is not easy either. Many of us are quick to send children to therapy but what kind of therapy? she said.

There is also the question of what to tell children about their parents prob-lems with drugs or alcohol. What if a parent is arrested for DWI? Ms. Lefkow-itz said, and no, the Jewish community is not immune from such problems.

There is also the question of how to broach subjects that children have seen on the news. Her daughter heard a little bit about the Amtrak derailment, Mr. Lefkowitz said. How much more should she know? What is the balance between unvarnished truth and com-forting understatement? Between fear and risk-taking?

More tensions. More grist for discus-sion at the panel.

But I dont know that in todays

world there is much

innocence left by the time they

reach 14 or 15.JULES GUTIN

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Yvette Tekel, 1925-2015Community mourns loss of beloved leader active in anything Jewish

LOIS GOLDRICH

The loss of Yvette Tekel will be keenly felt throughout our com-munity and beyond its borders.Indeed, the words family, friends, and colleagues across communi-ties, across organizations used to describe Ms. Tekel who recently moved to Fort Lee from Haworth paint a picture of a woman who brought joy and inspiration to all who knew her.

She was a five-foot giant, said her hus-band, Louis, singing the praises of his nearly 90-year-old wife to Rabbi David-Seth Kirsh-ner, who conducted Yvettes funeral on May 20 at Temple Emanu-El of Closter. The cou-ple had been married for 68 years.

Lou, who worked in the linen business and was a decorated hero of World War II, was chairman of the Yvette fan club, Rabbi Kirsh-ner said. He supported her and stood by her side in all her many charitable endeavors.

That support went both ways. While it was Lou who served on the Board of Governors of the Jewish Home Foundation, Yvette was always by his side, even coming to board meetings, said Melanie Cohen, the Jewish Home Familys executive director. They were both extremely interested. You always saw them together.

A member of the Hadassah National Boards Honorary Council as well as past president of the organizations Northern New Jersey region, Yvette Tekel was the first president of the Womens Division of UJA/Federation of Northern New Jersey. She was also president of the Rockland County Jew-ish Home for the Aged in Suffern, N.Y., which includes both the Esther Gitlow Towers, named for Yvettes mother, and the Yvette & Louis Tekel Senior Residence. Cohen pointed out that Yvette and Lou were an integral part of building and expanding the facility.

She was an amazing woman, Rabbi Kir-shner said. She was active in anything Jew-ish. Not only was she the queen of Hadas-sah right out of central casting, but her activities spanned the alphabet soup of Juda-ism. Her physical challenges never stopped her. She was always optimistic, cheerful, and smiling. Whats more, he said, when help

was needed, she never said no.Yvette breathed Yiddishkeit, said the

rabbi. She was indomitable. A special soul.Yvette Gitlow, originally from Rockland

County, met her husband in Spring Valley. Her strong philanthropic drive was due in no small part to the influence of her own mother, Esther Gitlow, Rabbi Kirshner said. Indeed, Ms. Cohen added, the funding for Rocklands Jewish Home came from the Git-lows, who were very active in the Spring Val-ley Jewish community.

Gale S. Bindelglass of Franklin Lakes recalled a car ride with Yvette. We talked about mothers and how to make gefilte fish, said Ms. Bindelglass, who co-chaired JFNNJs Womens Philanthropy Spring Luncheon in 2011, when Yvette received the groups inau-gural Lifetime Achievement Award.

She said that on her way to shul, her mother would drop off Shabbat packages for the needy, Ms. Bindelglass continued. Her mother was very charitable. Yvette spoke about mother with such reverence and a sense of embodying what her mother was for her. And she carried it on in a beautiful way.

Yvette was an inspiration. She strength-ened the fabric of the Jewish community, one person at a time, said Rabbi Kirshner, noting her strong influence on her daughter-in-law, Jill.

She had a wonderful relationship with

Jill, Ms. Cohen said. You would have thought she was her daughter. Not only that, but the mother-in-laws philanthropic impulses rubbed off on her.

Ms. Cohen said that the Tekels were active with the Jewish Home here even before it moved to Bergen County, when it was still in Hudson.

They had a special relationship with Chuck Berkowitz, then its executive direc-tor, because there was a lot of collegial back and forth when Mr. Berkowitz helped them with their efforts in Rockland.

When we opened the facility here in 2001, the Rockland County Jewish Home, as it has become known, became a supporter of the Jewish Home at Rockleigh, and we have a very special relationship, Ms. Cohen said. Yvette and Lou were donors from the start for this facility and have continued with capital fund-ing. They were loyal annual supporters.

Ms. Cohens relationship with Yvette, how-ever, also was personal.

In the early 1970, I was in college but my parents lived in New Milford, she said. Yvette was involved in Northern Valley Hadassah. Since there then was a grow-ing Jewish population in the Bergenfield, Dumont, and New Milford area, Yvette reached out to women to start a Hadassah chapter Tri-Boro Hadassah. She was the driving force in getting that chapter started. She became good friends with my mother, who became very active in Hadassah, and

when I graduated from college, I became a life member of Hadassah.

Later, when Ms. Cohen married and moved back to the area, she became presi-dent of the chapter. My friendship with Yvette grew, she said. Years later, when she became involved in the Jewish Home, I was using the skills Yvette taught me as a volun-teer leader and fundraiser. Yvette was my mentor.

And then There were Yvette and Lou at the Jewish Home.

The couples distinguishing feature, Ms. Cohen said, was that when they became involved in a cause, it was never peripherally. They were all in or they didnt get involved. Whether Hadassah or the Jewish Home, once they decided to commit, it was a total commitment.

She gave her undivided attention to every cause she was involved with, Ms. Bin-delglass said, adding that when UJA Fed-eration of Bergen County & North Hudson merged with the Jewish Federation of North Jersey, the womens groups of both organiza-tions led the way.

She showed so much love, Ms. Bindel-glass said. Inviting younger women to join a longtime informal social group known as the Birthday Bunch, she always said, were so glad you came in. She was so overjoyed that young people would come. Her most obvious power was that she exuded love, she had a smile for everyone.

Yvette Tekel

Yvette and Louis Tekel, foreground, with their daughter-in-law and son, Jill and Harvey Tekel.

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Nobody could say no to Yvette, she said, pointing to Ms. Tekels success at fundraising. You felt joy in saying yes to her.

When Ruth Cole of Ridgewood, a former president of the of the New Jersey Association of Jewish Federations and longtime Hadassah leader, was becoming presi-dent of the Northwest Bergen Chapter of Hadassah in the 1970s, Yvette was already a leader in the regional [Northern New Jersey] area.

The two subsequently became friends but in the beginning, Ms. Cole said, she remembers Yvette as the master builder of the region for newly employed women. She said if we wanted to move up to the regional board level, she would make meetings in the evening. She saw there was a need.

In A Tapestry of Hadassah Memories, Yvette, founder of Hadassahs Northern Valley chapter, wrote that her mother had founded a chapter in 1948, after the creation of the State of Israel. So, Ms. Cole said, it was particularly meaningful for Yvette to have her mother install her as president of the New Jersey chapter. And with Yvettes own daughter there, three generations of life members stood together at the installation.

She was so proud, Ms. Cole said, adding that she would also be proud to know that her daughter-in-law Jill, now a leader in the regional organization, will speak in her stead at the upcoming 40th anniversary celebra-tion of the Tri-Boro chapter.

Ms. Cole, who spoke at Ms. Tekels funeral, credited her friend with developing many first-time activities and events for Hadassah. She was beginning to show her pioneering spirit, coming up with innovative meth-ods of reaching out to new people, said her longtime colleague and friend.

She was like a coach, mentor, guide, and pied piper. She attracted people to follow her and to feel like they could do it. She wouldnt let them fail. She had tremen-dous empathy and understanding of character. She treated each person in an individual manner.

According to Ms. Cole, Yvette also was fantastic at fundraising; she raised millions of dollars for Hadassah. Even more, wherever she worked, she made friends and kept them. Indeed, she said, the line at the funeral for greeting the mourners was so long, you didnt know where the end was.

She was a community builder, a leader who went beyond leading, Ms. Cole said. People wanted to emu-late the goal she was setting. She was a motivator. She helped people understand how they could make a con-tribution to Israel and the Jewish people.

Describing her friend as a woman with determina-tion, courage, and perseverance, Ms. Cole said Ms. Tekel had the special gift of being able to both give love and receive it. She wasnt just a caregiver. She was grace-ful when people offered help. She could look through the eyes of another person.

In her Tapestry article, Yvette ended by writing, And I loved every minute of it, Ms. Cole recalled. And we loved every minute of being part of her cir-cle of multitudes of friends who tried to walk in her shoes.

An enormous void will be left behind, she added. That void must be filled by all who admired her and felt that she was setting the pace. It is a legacy we must continue.

Yvette Tekel is survived by her husband, Louis; chil-dren, Harvey Tekel and Tova Szporn; daughter-in-law Jill Tekel, grandchildren Erica, Adam, Rachael, and Joshua; and great-grandchildren Zachary, Zoe, and Han-nah. Contributions in Yvettes memory may be made to Yvette Tekel Memorial Fund, c/o Hadassah, 40 Wall St., P.O. Box 1100, New York, NY 10268-1100.

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Please call Sherry at 201-510-2060

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Mark the SPOTFamily of melanoma victim works with hair stylists to raise awareness

ABIGAIL KLEIN LEICHMAN

Less than two years have gone by since Rachel Samitt noticed a suspicious mole under the wet hair on her dads sunlit scalp after a swim in the familys Wood-cliff Lake pool.

Though Mark Samitt immediately made an appointment with his dermatologist, the skin cancer his daughter saw took his life on May 6. He was 52.

Mr. Samitts tragic death makes this Sundays cut-a-thon all the more poi-gnant and vital. Mark the SPOT, a program he launched with his wife, Gayle, and daughters Rachel and Dani-elle, in partnership with the Melanoma Research Foundation, will be held at six Pascack Valley-area salons. Its goal is to teach hairstylists that If you spot some-thing, say something.

Mark the SPOT educates stylists about how to identify possibly cancerous marks on their customers heads or necks and how to communicate their findings in a way that does not panic but encourages the customer to seek medical attention. The first salon to host a training session was Mania Hair Studio in Park Ridge. Owner Phil Mania lost his own father to melanoma at a young age.

Melanoma, the most serious form of skin cancer and the most common can-cer in young adults, is on the rise. The American Cancer Society estimates that during 2015, 137,310 new cases of mela-noma 63,440 noninvasive (in situ) and 73,870 invasive will be diagnosed in the United States.

Rachel Samitt chose to take on an optional senior project at Pascack Hills High School as a way of devoting more time to the cause.

The cut-a-thon was my dads idea, said Rachel, 18. The money is going

partially to awareness campaigns to teach people how to protect themselves against skin cancer, and partially to researching a cure for melanoma. My dad was involved in some clinical trials, and I learned that this research is very important.

The entire family worked hard on plan-ning the cut-a-thon, even as Mr. Samitts condition worsened. As soon as shiva ended, Gayle Samitt and her daughters got up and plunged back into the project.

My dad really loved that we spent time together on this, said Rachel, who is chapter president of Pascack Valley Bnai Brith Girls and organized a dance that raised $15,000 for breast-cancer research earlier this year. This was a passion for both of us. Until he couldnt, he put so much into it. He was guiding me, and now its my place to run with it, which is kind of hard but I have to.

Its hard but it was so important to him and to us, Danielle, 15, said. We dont want anyone else to deal with skin cancer; we want to prevent it so he didnt die in vain.

The sisters have been working as a team to increase awareness and publicize the cut-a-thon in the two Pascack Valley high schools and in area hair salons. Teachers are handing out fliers, and one even col-lected money from her class to contribute to the cause.

In the past few days Ive been mak-ing sure the participating salons have what they need and are telling their cli-ents about it, Danielle said. Ive been emailing them checklists of what to do in advance.

Gayle Samitt said that soon after his diagnosis, her husband asked his own stylist if she would alert a client upon finding a suspicious skin marking, and she said no. Shed be afraid of causing embarrassment.

Mark, Danielle, and Rachel Samitt

SEE MELANOMA PAGE 35

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A Great Timeto save up to $8,000!Become part of the Jewish Home Family during the summer months (JunAug move-in) and well waive our community fee A savings of up to $8,000! But the savings is just the beginning of whats great here. As a resident at the newly awarded Advanced Standing JHAL community, youll enjoy delicious, gourmet, kosher dining, take part in our popular and engaging activities program, benefit from our 24-hour wellness staff and so much more!

Special summer savings of up to $8,000! Call Anette McGarity at 201-666-2370 for a tour today.

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Making sick kids a little bit happierTenafly Eagle Scout, remembering what it feels like, cheers them on with special packs

ABIGAIL KLEIN LEICHMAN

Daniel Nachum of Tenafly, 17, recently became an Eagle Scout, the highest rank attainable in the Boy Scouts of America.

This is remarkable, given that less than 10 percent of Scouts achieve this milestone.

Even more remarkable is that Daniel survived a childhood bout with cancer and decided to dedicate his Eagle Scout community-service project to pediatric oncology patients at the Joseph M. San-zari Childrens Hospital at Hackensack University Medical Center.

For me, this decision was a no-brainer because I was treated there for leukemia and remain a patient there at Cure and Beyond, said Daniel, who has lived in town all his life and is now a junior at Tenafly High School and a member of Boy Scout Troop 86.

In remission since he was 7, Dan-iel nevertheless remembers that being hooked up to an IV limited his ability to hold activity books and other items meant to keep him busily amused dur-ing long hours in treatment.

My idea was to create a hands-free activity pack filled with items to enter-tain or at least pass time for the kids, he said. I wanted to make something that they could attach to an IV pole, carry over their shoulder, wrap around the hospital bed, or even clip on to

something.Daniel spent many hours research-

ing how to turn his concept into reality. Once I had my prototype, I presented it to staff at the hospital. We visited the inpatient floor and tested the unit out. Within a week the hospital approved my idea.

On April 6, following continued com-munication with the staff and many hours of work, Daniel delivered 100 hands-free activity packs to the chil-drens hospital. The clear plastic, wipe-clean box can be attached to an IV pole, bedframe, or wheelchair with a metal carabiner clip and Velcro. I also installed a shoulder strap using Velcro and compression straps, Daniel said. An outpatient could carry it by its handle.

There are four different types of color-coded packs: one each for younger boys, younger girls, older boys, and older girls. The basic items contained in each pouch are a sketchpad, glow-in-the-dark Shutter Shades (popular louvered sun-glasses), a friendship bracelet, an Uno card game, sticker sheets, and a personal letter from a Boy Scout.

Daniels fellow Scouts helped him assemble all 100 packs over the course of two weekends, assembly-line fash-ion. One person measured the Velcro, another cut it, another attached the compression strap, and so on. Another person did quality assurance to make

Daniel Nachum, 17, explains his hands-free activity pack to staff members at Joseph M. Sanzari Childrens Hospital at Hackensack University Medical Center. The project helped him obtain Eagle Scout rank.

SEE EAGLE SCOUT PAGE 19

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12 Jewish standard MaY 29, 2015

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JFS bike route to be dedicated in memory of Cindy PikulJewish Family Service of Bergen and North Hudson will dedicate the three-mile course in the upcoming annual JFS Wheels for Meals A Ride to Fight Hun-ger in memory of former participant/race marshal/nutrition advocate Cindy Pikul, who died in July.

The symbol of a lotus flower bear-ing her name will be on the rides jer-seys and medals. The course is dedi-cated to Ms. Pikul as a tribute to her three years of volunteerism and spirit. The lotus blossom was chosen by Team TBW, whose members also participate in Wheels for Meals, to honor her spirit. She was also a member of Team TBW, out of the Tenafly Bicycle Workshop.

The fifth annual Wheels for Meals A Ride to Fight Hunger will be on Sunday, June 14, the weekend before Fathers Day, at the Jewish Home at Rockleigh. The ride, a major fundraiser for Jewish Family Service of Bergen and North Hudson, supports initiatives that fight hunger in Bergen County Meals on Wheels and the food pantry, which serve a diverse range of area res-idents. Event coordinators are expect-ing more than 500 riders to raise over $150,000.

Last year, JFS delivered 28,000 nutri-tionally balanced meals to the home-bound elderly and disabled.

Cyclists may register for the fund-raiser alone or as teams, for courses ranging from 3 to 50 miles, depending on age and ability. There also will be a fun walk for people of all ages.

Corporation sponsorships and vendor

opportunities are available. For infor-mation, email [email protected]. JFS is also seeking volunteers to work at the ride. To learn more, go to www.ridetofighthunger.com.

Cindy Pikul

The memorial lotus symbol will be used on Wheels for Meals jerseys. Photos courtesy JFs

Torah scroll dedication on Shabbat

The Chabad Jewish Center of NWBC in Franklin Lakes will celebrate the dedi-cation of a new Torah scroll donated by Craig and Ruanne Sher of Wyckoff in honor of their son Davins bar mitzvah, Saturday, May 30, at 10:30 a.m. All are

welcome to the Torah welcoming cere-mony; a celebratory luncheon will follow at noon.

For information, call (201) 848-0449 or email [email protected].

Law Journal pays tribute to Burstein with lifetime achievement awardFormer New Jersey Assembly-man Albert Burstein received the New Jersey Law Journals Lifetime Achievement award for his decades-long service and contributions to the field of law in New Jersey.

Ms. Burstein, of the Hack-ensack office of Archer & Greiner, is 92 and still practic-ing law.

He received the Chevalier of the Legion of Honor for his bravery on the battlefield as a soldier fighting the Ger-mans on French territory during World War II. He was a member of the New Jer-sey General Assembly for 10 years and served as chairman of the Assembly Edu-cation Committee and a term as major-ity leader. He has served on many other committees and commissions, includ-ing as commissioner of the Election Law

Enforcement Commission, and he was a member of the Election Law Revision Com-mittee, the Capital Budgeting and Planning Commission, and the Public Employees Relations Study Commission. He also is a former chairman of the State Commission of Investigation Review Com-

mittee, the New Jersey Law Revision Commission, and the Bergen County IIB South District Ethics Committee, and is a former member of the Law Journals editorial board.

During is 60 + year career as a prac-ticing attorney in New Jersey, he has received many awards, including Law-yer of the Year from the Committee on Professionalism in 1999, and the Daniel J. OHern professional award from the New Jersey Bar Association in 2006.

Local, Israeli doctors join forcesThe medical task force of the Jew-ish Federation of Northern New Jersey and Part-nership 2Gether Nahar iya pre -s e n t e d t h r e e lectures where d o c t o r s f ro m Israel join local p hys i c i a n s to discuss medical breakthroughs.

Most recently, at the Alpine home of Dr. Deane and Susan Penn, the group offered a discussion of developments in

plastic and reconstructive surgery, along with nonsurgical approaches to appear-ance enhancement.

Albert Burstein

Valley Chabad will laud teen leadersMore than 100 teens will be honored at Valley Chabads Teen Leadership Tribute luncheon on Sunday, May 31, at 11:45 a.m., at the Terrace in Paramus. The event will recognize the volunteer participants in Valley Chabads five Teen Leadership Ini-tiative programs: Friendship Circle, Link-ing Hearts, CTeen, JLI Teens, and Eternal Flame.

Daniel Tratt, who lost the use of his legs after being injured in a fall while in college and now participates in triathlons and sporting events to inspire young people to reach their potential, is the guest speaker.

For information on the lunch or ad jour-nal, call (201) 476-0157 or go to www.val-leychabad.org/teenlunch.

Last years teen Chabad honorees. srivki Weisberg

GBDS gala features CNN correspondentEarlier this month, the Academies at Gerrard Berman Day School in Oak-land celebrated its 29th anniversary with a gala. CNNs chief congressional correspondent, Dana Bash, left, spoke at the gala, which honored Drs. Laurie Nahum and Richard Krieger, pictured with her, for their years of involvement and dedication to the school.

elisa bergerFrom left to right, Dr. Leonid and Helen Kogan, Dr. Assi Drobot, Susan and Dr. Deane Penn, Dr. Sharon Scherl, and Dr. Tzvi Small

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Kaplen JCC on the Palisades taub campus | 411 e clinton ave, tenafly, nJ 07670 | 201.569.7900 | jccotp.org

upcoming at Kaplen JCC on the Palisades top films you may Have missed:

Women in LoveJoin us with Harold Chapler, who will introduce this award-winning romantic drama about best friends who fall in love with a pair of sisters, until life takes their relationships in markedly different directions. Film followed by an optional discussion. Coffee and light snacks included.Mon, Jun 22, 7:30 pm, $5/$7

Shirah Choirbernie and rutH WeinflasH zl memorial concertA night of beautiful Jewish choral music performed in memory of Bernie and Ruth Weinflash zl, Shirahs founding supporters and guiding spirits. Led by founding director and conductor Matthew Lazar, and associate conductor Marsha Edelman. Cantor Israel Singer, guest soloist. Sun, Jun 14, 7 pm, $8/$10 Pre-concert reception for sponsors: $360Post-concert dessert reception sponsored by the Weinflash family

to register or for more info, visit

jccotp.org or call 201.569.7900.

Support Group for the Recently WidowedWitH Judy brauner, lcsW tHerapistThis bereavement group provides an opportunity to share your feelings with others that understand. Therapist Judy Brauner will help you talk about the changes in your family life, social relationships and sense of self. Make warm and enduring friendships that will help you heal. Registration required. Call Esther at 201.408.1456.7 Mondays, Jun 8-Jul 27 (No session 7/13), 6:15-7:45 pm, $115/$140

Family Caregiver Training Arm yourself with essential information, acquire day-to-day strategies and skills, and learn how to properly prepare for a new role as a caregiver for a loved one. Topics to be addressed include recognizing early warning signs of Alzheimers and dementia and techniques on how to best deal with them. Hear from Eldercare law experts; get advice for proper legal and financial planning, and learn essentials of monitoring associated health issues.4 Tuesdays, Jun 15, 22, 29 & Jul 6, 7-8:30 pm, $80/$100

Master Class with Violinist Almita VamosGain insight in the music and the artistic process in this intimate, public coaching by Almita Vamos, professor of violin at Northwestern University and the Music Institute of Chicago. Part of the Thurnauer School of Musics Sylvia and Jacob Handler Master Class series. Thur, Jun 11, 4-7 pm, Free, suggested donation $10

JCC U Spring TermKeep learningStay involved in the developments that shape todays world with Dr. John Schiemann, who will discuss the recent Senate Intelligence Committees report on the CIA detention and interrogation program. And then, Fordham Professor, Brian Rose, will lead the afternoon with a talk about Steven Spielberg, George Lucas and the Blockbuster Phenomenon.To register visit jccotp.org/jccu or call Kathy at 201.408.1454.Thur, Jun 11, 10:30 am-2:15 pm, $32/$40

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The Jewish Home Foundation of North Jersey held its 21st annual Golf, Tennis, and Card Outing at the Montammy Golf Club in Alpine on May 18, celebrating the Jewish Home Familys centennial. The sold-out outing, with more than 200 par-ticipants, included a fun-filled day with golf, tennis, social and ACBL-sanctioned bridge, canasta, mah jong, and network-ing. There also was a buffet lunch, a cock-tail reception, and a gourmet dinner. Participants bid on a range of goods and services at a silent auction and bought tickets for a 50/50 raffle. The winner of the raffle, Lou Romano Sr., took home a grand prize of $20,900, and the mens division of the golf tournament.

Howard Chernin and Warren Feldman co-chaired the outing, and they announced at the dinner that together they raised

$160,000 for programs funded by the Jew-ish Home Foundation. Nearly 25 volunteers helped the staff oversee the days events, the two men said, and they also thanked all the volunteers, staff, and supporters.

The Jewish Home Family and its mem-ber entities, Jewish Home at Rockleigh, Jewish Home Assisted Living, Jewish Home at Home, and Jewish Home Foun-dation, are not-for-profit organizations, providing long-term care, sub-acute care, outreach programs, and outpatient ser-vices for the elderly and their families in Bergen, North Hudson, and Rockland counties. The Jewish Home Familys mis-sion is to develop and oversee the very best of care, services, and advice for the elderly and their families at home and in their facilities, now and in the future, con-sistent with Jewish tradition and values.

Jewish Home Foundation Golf, Tennis, and Card Outing is a hole-in-one

Dr. Larry Katz, event co-chair Warren Feldman, Mike Gunther, and Adam Gunther enjoy the golfing. PHOTOS BY MARK S. CUNNINGHAM

Tennis participants include co-chairs Barry Wien, top row, third from left, David Edelberg, front row, right, and Susan Penn, front, center.

Jane Rak, Susan Wells, Shelli Bettman, and Ann Den-son tee up for a worthy cause.

Lou Romano Jr., left, with raffle winner Lou Romano Sr. and Jewish Home Family President/CEO Carol Silver Elliott.

Event participants Lucille Amster, David B. Follender, Warren Feldman, and Myrna and Yale Block.

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Why do they leave?Federation study examines Rocklands non-Orthodox synagogues

LARRY YUDELSON

Why do synagogue mem-bers stop paying their dues?Its an important ques-tion for all synagogues to ask.

But it is a particularly important ques-tion for the non-Orthodox synagogues of Rockland County, where changing community demographics have led to shrinking memberships and synagogue mergers.

Thats why the Rockland Jewish Initia-tive, a project of the Jewish Federation of Rockland County, commissioned a sur-vey of attitudes of synagogue leaders, members, and former members.

The results of the survey were released in March, and published at http://jewishrockland.org/rockland-jewish-ini-tiative. In coming weeks, Cantor Barry Kanarek, the initiative director, said he will meet with synagogue leaders to dis-cuss the report and what actions to take based on it.

Cantor Kanarek said the most impor-tant finding is that Jewish involvement is more episodic and more informal than in the past.

Thats not unique to Rockland County, he said. Its a national trend. We see that happening in the Christian world as well.

The challenge is this: We need to make changes in our synagogues, and how we structure our synagogues, to accommodate that, he said.

Dr. David Elcott was one of the consul-tants who conducted the survey. He is the Henry and Marilyn Taub Professor of Practice in Public Service and Leadership at New York Universitys Robert F. Wag-ner Graduate School of Public Service. He has specialized in advising Jewish communities about how to involve baby boomers in Jewish life.

People are joining less, he said. The idea that you join some place and are connected to it from cradle to cemetery, that notion Catholic parishes had, has pretty much evaporated. People dont speak that language.

Or more precisely, fewer people speak that language.

In some ways the Jewish community shows more robust affiliation than orga-nizations like the PTA or the Kiwanis, Dr. Elcott said.

The survey had three components. First came interviews and focus groups with 27 leaders of the countys 12 non-Orthodox synagogues rabbis,

presidents, board members. Then came a survey of about 1,000 current members of those synagogues. Finally there was a survey of a harder-to-reach population, about 100 former synagogue members.

So: How are synagogue members dif-ferent from former synagogue members?

Not significantly, it turns out, in terms of their Jewish identity.

Of current synagogue members, 91 per-cent say being Jewish is very important, with the remaining 9 percent describing it as somewhat important. Thats a higher percentage than is found among the former synagogue members, but nearly three-quarters of the ex-members also feel that being Jewish is very impor-tant, with a further 25 percent checking off the somewhat important box. Only 2 percent said being Jewish is not very important.

Whereas 50 years ago intermar-riage and disaffiliation meant you were doing everything you could to abandon your Jewish identity, that is not the case today, Dr. Elcott said. Thats a very important awareness, one the leader-ship of the synagogues have to take into account.

Instead, the starkest difference between members and former members came when asked to agree or disagree with this statement: I prefer not to com-mit to being involved with organizations on any long term basis; I just get involved when or if I am interested.

Only 25 percent of synagogue mem-bers agreed with that statement, with 57 percent disagreeing strongly. By con-trast, only 16 percent of former syna-gogue members disagreed strongly, and

67 percent two thirds! agreed.Synagogues need to examine bold

approaches, the report concluded. We have seen that departure from the syna-gogue does not automatically signal a sev-ering of ties to or interest in Jewish life. Patterns and connections change, and people shift how they use their time. The door, then, is not closed completely, and efforts at reconnecting are warranted and potentially promising.

The report also looked at at-risk syn-agogue members those most likely to leave in the future. Significantly, it found a major disconnect between, on the one hand, they way synagogue leaders perceived both their congregations and those members who dropped out, from,

on the other hand, the way those mem-bers who left explained their decision and described their former synagogues.

Synagogue leaders explained that those who left did so because their chil-dren had become bar or bat mitzvah, and because they didnt want to pay dues.

Both of those are more complex, Dr. Elcott said. The financial question is sel-dom an issue of saying we dont have the money to pay dues. It is that they have many things theyre interested in doing, and synagogue is not a high enough pri-ority to pay for.

In fact, the top reason for leaving given by former synagogue members was a lack of connection with clergy. While three quarters of synagogue leaders strongly

Dr. David Elcott

Rockland


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agree that when needed I have felt cared for by clergy, and 64 percent of current members also agree strongly, only 16 percent of former members agree strongly. Nearly half 46 percent of former members disagree, com-pared to only 8 percent of current mem-bers who dont feel cared for by clergy.

There was a similar, though less intense, disagreement between mem-bers and former members about whether clergy make an effort to get to know people in the congregation.

And, perhaps not surprisingly, twice as many current members report hav-ing many friends in the synagogue (38 percent) as do former members (16 percent).

There was disagreement even on the seemingly objective question of whether synagogues get in touch with people who chose not to renew their memberships.

Two thirds of former members report that no one got in touch with them when they left their synagogues. One quarter said they got a telephone call, 4 percent were visited in person, and 13 percent got a letter or email.

In contrast, synagogue leaders all said that they have a program to con-nect with former members, and that 95 percent of them get in touch by phone, 25 percent in person and 55 percent by letter or email.

What emerged is two different views of the synagogue: One by the leader-ship and the core members, and one by the former members.

The wide gap separating the views of leaders from those who are periph-eral or outside the orbit of the syna-gogue may be surprising to leaders, the report said. It is clear that the insiders who feel at home with the language, programs, experiences and relationships that the synagogue offers feel close to the center, and their iden-tity is firmly based in the synagogue whatever their personal practice. Yet synagogues tend to speak only to that ever-shrinking core. It is crucial that communications, programs and mis-sion statements be based on a broader reading of peoples goals, interests, pri-orities and willingness to be connected. Without this, there is a chance that the target audience of participation-building efforts will not be attracted or interested. This requires creativity and some possible risk taking as financially challenged synagogues try to expand

their communities.Dr. Elcott said that he encour-

aged synagogue leaders to pay more attention.

One way is to ask, he said. Engage congregants. Board members should spend their time calling 16 families on a semi-regular basis, and ask them what theyre like and what theyre doing as synagogue members. Ask them what would they like to have happen in the synagogue, as opposed to thinking that if only the rabbi gave a slightly better sermon, or had a better program, all the problems would be solved.

Dr. Elcotts report offered some sug-gestions for new directions the syna-gogues could explore to retain present members and perhaps win back former ones.

One approach is to help people make friends. Programs that build social connections will benefit the synagogue and strengthen personal ties of mem-bers. This goes beyond the important task of welcoming people at services or other programs and could include more in-depth connections like plac-ing or inviting different congregants to Shabbat dinners at other members homes. The various home-meal groups could reconvene at the synagogue for a larger group activity or celebration, the report suggested.

Another is for the synagogues to become centers of activism both Jewish and non-Jewish. Respondents expressed significant interest in dif-ferent kinds of volunteer engagement. These projects offer an ideal way to encourage former members to recon-nect with synagogues and other Jewish institutions with no strings attached.

The federation can lead the way and serve as a clearing-house/convener for volunteer initiatives, reaching out to organizations elsewhere in Rockland County, both inter-faith and secular.

Will the survey and the subsequent report change Rocklands synagogues?

While its too soon to tell, Dr. Elcott said synagogue leadership was very receptive.

You didnt get people resisting, he said. People were very attentive and moved immediately to think about the implica-tions, what can they learn from the results. There wasnt any resistance.

The wide gap separating the

views of leaders from those who are peripheral or outside the

orbit of the synagogue may

be surprising to leaders.

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A talk by ShavitAri Shavit, Israeli jour-nalist and author of the New York Times bestseller My Promised Land: The Triumph and Tragedy of Israel, is the keynote speaker at the Rockland community celebration on June 8. The event held by the Jewish Federation of Rockland County and annual meeting, is at Town & Country in Congers at 7 p.m. A private meet-and-greet/book signing with Shavit begins at 6:30.

There will also be a buffet dinner, auc-tion, and recognition of students who are

graduating from Rockland Federations Leadership Development Institute and Florence Melton School of Adult Jewish Learning. Tickets to the event can be pur-chased online at www.jewishrockland.org/events.

JFS gala unfoldsthis weekendRockland Jewish Family Service holds its annual gala on Sunday, May 31, at 5:30 p.m., at the Comfort Inn in Nanuet.

This years honorees are Alfred and Rene Weiner, Maria F. Dowling, CEO, and Rachelle Rosenberg, who will receive the Mary Ellen Sher zl Volun-teer of the Year award. Call (845) 354-2121 or go to www.rjfs.org.

Center features handbag bingoThe Nanuet Hebrew Center offers a special bingo evening on Wednesday, June 17. Doors open at 7 p.m., and games begin at 7:30. Participants have the opportunity to win prizes, includ-ing designer handbags. The synagogue is at 411 S. Little Tor Road in New City. Call 708-9181.

Photo exhibit retraces struggle of Jewish refugees in CyprusThe New City Jewish Center holds an opening ceremony on Thursday, June 11, at 7:30 p.m., for a photo exhibit mounted by the Consulate General of Cyprus in New York and American Jew-ish Committee Westchester/Fairfield. The 44-photo exhibit depicts the strug-gle of refugees to make aliyah to Pales-tine after the Holocaust.

Speakers include Vasilious Philippou,

Cypruss consul general in New York; Amir Sagie, Israels deputy consul gen-eral in New York, and Marvin Weiss, who was a volunteer on a ship carrying refugees to Palestine that detoured to Cyprus.

The event is co-sponsored by the syna-gogue, the Holocaust Museum and Study Center in Suffern, the AJC and cCon-sulate general of Cyprus.

Chabad Rockland serves new cookbookThe Jewish Womans Cir-cle of the Chabad Center of Suffern has published A Taste of Chabad a Treasured Collection of Recipes From Chabads Shabbat Dinners, Pro-grams, and Commu-nity Members. Recipes feature some of Reb-betzin Devorah Ganczs favorites.

The spiral-bound, hard-covered cook-book was professionally published and includes transliterated blessings on foods, a table of contents, index, helpful cooking hints, color photos of Chabad of Sufferns events, and recipe category dividers. Categories include Appetizers & Beverages, Soups & Salads, Main Dishes, Breads & Rolls, Desserts, Cookies & Candy, and This & That, which includes

sauces, pancakes, relish, and marinade.

The monthly group, made up of women of diverse affiliations and backgrounds, regularly participates in fun work-shops, some exploring Jewish themes. Programs include Herbal Oil Bot-tling and Aromatherapy, the Art of Floral Arrange-ment, Pina Colada Spa for the Soul, and an Evening

of Chocolate Fondue.Check online at the Cooking with Beth

blog at www.jstandard.com for recipes from the book.

To order a copy or for information, call Devorah at (845) 368-1889, go to www.JewishSuffern.com, or email [email protected].

Benefit+ brunch will aid museumThe annual benefit brunch for the Holo-caust Museum & Center for Tolerance and Education is scheduled for Sunday, November 8, at 10:30 a.m., at Rockland Community College in Suffern. This

years honorees are the Sasson family; American Pulitzer Prize-winning journal-ist Brett Stephens is the keynote speaker. For information, call (845) 574-4099 or email [email protected].

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Tee-off and support FederationJewish Federation of Rockland County holds a charity golf outing at the Tuxedo Club in Tuxedo, N.Y., on Monday June 15. Check in is at 10 a.m., and the out-ing begins at noon. The day includes 18 holes of golf with cart, breakfast, lunch,

cocktails, dinner, prizes, and an auction.Proceeds will benefit the Jewish Fed-eration of Rockland County. For infor-mation, call (845) 362-4200, ext. 113, or email [email protected] or [email protected].

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sure every pack was up to standards and had every item that belonged in it, he said.

In addition, Daniel unexpectedly obtained 36 Patient Pods. These are soft, wipe-able pouches, prepacked with hand hygiene tools, a notepad and a pen. They have a message clip and display area and are meant for hospi-tal patients to keep their personal items safely within reach, attached to a bedrail, walker or wheelchair.

I had contacted CEO Pat Mastors of Patient Pod because the clip they use was very conveniently designed to connect to IV poles, Daniel explained. I asked her if I could get the clips via donation or discount, but it was patented specifically for Patient Pods. However, she was kind enough to donate 36 Patient Pods instead. We will give those to teenage patients.

Daniel managed to get most of the supplies donated or discounted. He got in touch with AC Moore for the sticker boxes, Mattel for Uno and Hot Wheels prod-ucts, JLC for carabiners, and Coleman for compression straps. For items he had to buy, he used funds raised from a campaign he launched on the crowd funding website GoFundMe.

I didnt expect to reach my GoFundMe amount at all, but in three days I made more than my target of $2,700, Daniel said. With nearly $3,000 in donations, he even had extra money to donate to the Tomorrows Childrens Fund, the nonprofit organization supporting pediatric cancer patients at the Hackensack hospital.

Because of hospital regulations, Daniel wasnt permit-ted to hand the packs out directly to patients. I wish I could have seen their faces, but I understand where the hospital was coming from, he said.

The staff at the medical center welcomed the project.It was a pleasure working with Daniel on his Eagle

Scout project, Ellen Goldring, the section chief for Child Life/Creative Arts Therapy, said. He took such care in ensuring that the project truly met the needs of our patients.

He knew what children need because he remembers being there, she added.

Daniel was able to draw from his personal experi-ence in designing these activity packs. He knows what it is like to be a young patient connected to an IV pole in a hospital room for a length of time. They are designed with an understanding of child and adolescent interests. They are so well organized that the child life team can easily grab one for a patient, only needing to know age and gender.

The packages make life easier for the staff as well, she said. They do not need to go through multiple toys and supplies to find items to soothe, distract and keep the patient engaged. The packs support a basic component of child life, providing opportunities for patients to play and express themselves.

Daniel and his family his father, Jacob, his mother, Harriett, and his older sister, Kayla are members of Temple Sinai in Tenafly. He is a member of the Reform movements youth group and partici-pates in its annual Midnight Run, where the kids collect clothing and food and drive it to Manhattan on a school bus to deliver at distribu-tion checkpoints for the homeless. He also volunteers at the soup kitchen in Hackensack on Thanksgiving.

As a Boy Scout, one of the major things I do is volunteer on a constant basis, he said.

Another activity dear to Daniels heart is the yearly Artworks Express Yourself event sponsored by the Naomi Cohain Foundation for children affected by life-threatening illness, as well as their families. He participated in the first Express Yourself when he was 5. Then, he displayed a painting of a mask hed made in art therapy. After contrib-uting artwork for a few years, he shifted into performing jazz, ragtime, Beatles, and Billy Joel hits on the piano at Express Yourself.

It shows my artistic side to people who are going through, or did go through, something similar to what Ive gone through, or have a child who is no longer with them, along with doctors and others who helped cure me, Daniel said. Its half a thank-you and half to show that just because youve been diagnosed with something that might be life-changing, it doesnt mean you cant continue to express your-self in many different ways.

As for the Eagle Scout project, he said, For me, it has been an incredible journey and a meaningful way to give back and make some sick children a little happier.

Eagle Scout FROM PAGE 11

When Daniel was 5, Abigail Klein Leichman, who wrote our story, interviewed him for this story in the Bergen Record.

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See you on Fifth Avenue

I ts not every day that you get to walk up the center of Fifth Avenue.For a second, forget even that its a parade for Israel. Note, for that second, that its a Sunday in late May, and somehow most years that Sunday is a glori-ous day, sun-dappled green and gold. The manicured perfection of Central Park is on your left and the haughty beauty of the ele-gant old apartment buildings, unaffordable except to lords of the universe, is on your right, as you march uptown, as if by right, in the middle of the street.

And, of course, it is the Israel parade. It brings together a vast range of Jews, from centrist Orthodox to socialist, from bent-over but beaming seniors to babies babbling in their strollers, from Russians from Brooklyn to hard-core Bronx boost-ers to suburbanites from an entire ring around the city, from north Jersey to Rockland to Westchester to Connecti-cut to Long Island and back around and down to south Jersey. Some come from farther away, too; from the Catskills and Massachusetts and Philadelphia and points further west and south.

There will be music some from floats, some from marchers, some blared through microphones. Some people will dance.

Israel might be beleaguered and you do have to go through security to get to the parade but you can never feel it at the parade. (Neturei Karta will be there, dressed in black, shouting slurs, but they are too pathetic to taint anyones mood.) Instead, on that sunlit afternoon, you feel part of something big but familiar, at one with your distant, still-undiscovered cous-ins. Disagreements? Just family matters.

And the more of us who come, the better.

The Jewish Federation of Northern New Jersey is sending a delegation, which is set to leave the Kaplen JCC on the Palisades in Tenafly at 11:30. For more information or to make a reservation, go to the fed-erations website, www.jfnnj.org. Some local shuls and schools are going too. And, of course, any parade needs spectators; standing and watching everyone go by is fully as fascinating as walking yourself in fact, everyone should try both.

See you at the parade. JP

Survey says

C lose readers of this newspaper may have noticed a new Rock-land section showing up the last week of each month. Bring-ing Rockland news into a northern New Jersey publication makes a lot of sense. Many of us drive across the county line to shop in the Palisades Mall on Sunday. And the needs and concerns of Jews of the sub-urban New York towns of Rockland County are not all that different than those of the Jews of the suburban New Jersey towns of Bergen County.

Thats particularly true of this months news from Rockland. On page 16 we report about a survey commissioned by Rocklands Jewish federation about the attitude of synagogue leaders, members, and crucially ex-members. Why do

some people stay synagogue members for life while others leave as soon as their last child becomes bar or bat mitzvah?

As we report, the findings accord with trends in Jewish life across America. Theyre certainly as true in New Jersey as they are in New York. In trying to find out what makes members different from non-members, the Rockland Je

Jewish Standard, May 29, 2015

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Transcript of Jewish Standard, May 29, 2015