Jewish Standard, April 15, 2016

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201685NORTH JERSEY

A NEW JEWISH VOICE AT THE WAYNE Y page 8

ONLY NINE PERCENT TELL THEIR RABBIS page 12

MY SEDER WITH HILLARY page 18

CAMPAIGNING FOR JEWS ACROSS THE HUDSON page 34

APRIL 15, 2016VOL. LXXXV NO. 32 $1.00

J e w i s h S t a n d a r d

1 0 8 6 T e a n e c k R o a d

T e a n e c k , N J 0 7 6 6 6

C H A N G E S E R V I C E R E Q U E S T E D

THEJEWISHSTANDARD.COM

Fair Lawn’s Dan Schlossbergchronicles the Atlanta team

Bard ofthe Braves

page 28


2/722 JEWISH STANDARD APRIL 15, 2016


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JEWISH STANDARD APRIL 15, 2

NOSHES ...............................................................4

OPINION ...........................................................22

COVER STORY ................................................28

HEALTHY LIVING &

ADULT LIFESTYLES ......................................48

D’VAR TORAH ................................................59

CROSSWORD PUZZLE ................................60

ARTS & CULTURE ...........................................61

CALENDAR ......................................................62

OBITUARIES ....................................................65

CLASSIFIEDS ..................................................66

GALLERY ..........................................................68

REAL ESTATE ..................................................69

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● Uncle Tom’s Cabin in

Yiddish. Sounds crazy, no?

But across 19th-

century Russia and

eastern Europe, Jews

eagerly devoured Russian

Jewish writer Isaac Meir

Dik’s Yiddish version of

the antislavery classic.

The online Yiddish

studies journal In Geveb

recently translated Dik’s

introduction to his 1868

translation. But that fails

to capture the full flavor

of the book he renamed

“Slavery or Serfdom.” It

presents the antebellum South like something

from an alternate universe: in it, the slaves

(and the masters criticized for being too kind

for their own good) are Jewish.

The translation made it to the New

World, where it gained critical and popular

attention. As a 1905 review in the respected

American Jewish monthly New Era Illustrated

Magazine made clear, Dik didn’t just translate

the language. He transposed the whole tale.

Now, Jewish customs and textual references

pepper the story. Uncle Tom, a devout J

compares himself to the biblical Joseph

sold into bondage. Jewishness wasn’t ju

gimmick to attract readers. It added to

novel’s treatment of slavery.

It’s the ending that makes “Slavery or

Serfdom” one of the best things ever. T

former slaves go to Canada, where the

remaining non-Jews convert to Judaism

of them establish a synagogue with Unc

Tom as president, and they all live happ

ever after. HANNAH GREEN/JEWN

Uncle Tom’s Cabin in Yiddish,

with Jewish slaves

Are you ready for Esther Savings Time?● There’s a new coinci-

dence of calendars onthe horizons.

It probably won’t

be as big a deal as

Thanksgivukkah was,

back in 2013, when

the first night of

Chanukah overlapped

Thanksgiving for the first time in the

American holiday’s history — and for the

last time in tens of thousands of years.

Thanksgivukkah, after all, came with

commemorative tchotkes, including tee-

shirts and menorahs.

But according to Benjamin Dreyfus, a

research associate in the physics department

of the University of Maryland, next year, 2017,

will be the first time that Purim coincides

with the start of Daylight Savings Time — the

Saturday night when clocks are moved

hour forward.

The holiday will gain an extra hour on

the clock — but in fact be just as long (o

as short, for those of you who always w

Purim lasted longer).

Making it to the morning Megillah rea

will be more challenging than usual, how

If the Daily Savings Time schedule sta

same, Purim and Spring Forward will co

again in 2028 and 2031. LARRY YU

New seder makeshash of haggadah● How long does it take for a

joke to become an earnest Jew-

ish non-profit initiative?

About a decade.In 2005, one of the key plot

lines in the Passover comedy

film “When Do We Eat” was

the pater familias’s accidental

ingestion of mind-altering drugs

as he led the seder.

Now, Le’Or, the non-

profit formed by Roy and

Claire Kaufmann to promote

Jewish support of marijuana

legalization, has issued a

cannabis-themed haggadah

which, according to its press

release, “urges high-minded

Jews to spark up seder table

conversations.”

“We hosted the inaugural

Cannabis Seder last year here

in Portland,” Claire Kaufmannsaid. “The seder was such a

fun, powerful, and uplifting

experience for all of us there

that we wanted to share it with

our community worldwide.”

The 30-page haggadah

promises to provide “a familiar

and fun venue to have a

new, often-uncomfortable

conversation about marijuana

prohibition, race, and justice.”

And yes, it adds a leaf of

marijuana to the seder plate,

replacing the lettuce used for

maror.

“Attending [Le’Or’s] cannabis

seder last year, I realized just

how far we have come bringing

an amazing life-affirming plant

out of the shadows,” said Adam

Eidinger of Dr. Bronner’s, the

event’s main sponsor.

As topical haggadot go, this

is probably the first to begin its“Tips for a great seder” section

with the admonition “Be social-

media sensitive.”

Noting that “cannabis

consumption is a sensitive

issue,” it cautions that “If you

are going to photograph your

seder and post to social media,

get explicit permission from

attendees first.”

The haggadah follows the

outline of the traditional seder,

except that with each cup of

wine there is a complementary

bowl of cannabis consumed.

(The authors recommend

drinking grape juice rather

than wine to avoid excessive

intoxication.)It includes less than joyful

reflections on the drug war,

such as this one from Michelle

Alexander’s book, “The New

Jim Crow”: “Nothing has

contributed more to the

systematic mass incarceration

of people of color in the United

States than the war on drugs….

There are more people in prisons

and jails today just for drug

offenses then were incarcerated

for all reasons in 1980.”

You can download the

haggadah at jews-and-weed.

myshopify.com for, of course,

a tax-deductible donation of

$4.20. (420 is the number that’s

come to be code for pot.) LARRY YUDELSON

On the cover: Dan Schlossberg poses with a cardboard cutout

of Yankee star Derek Jeter at the Louisville Slugger Museum in

Louisville, Kentucky.


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Noshes

4 JEWISH STANDARD APRIL 15, 2016

Want to read more noshes? Visit facebook.com/jewishstandard

flick, directed by ARIEL

VROMEN, 43, an Israeli

who served in the elite 669

IDF unit (Airborne Evacua-

tion and Rescue). In a

last-ditch effort to stop a

diabolical plot, the memo-

ries, secrets, and skills of a

dead CIA agent, Billy Pope

(Ryan Reynolds), are

surgically implanted into

Jericho (Kevin Costner), a

dangerous death-row

inmate. The CIA hopes that

Jericho will complete

Pope’s mission. The

surgery also implants

Pope’s deep love for his

wife and family and his

strong sense of responsi-

bility. Israeli GAL GADOT,

30, who plays Pope’s wife,

meets with Jericho to

reinforce his new sense of

purpose. Tommy Lee

Jones plays the surgeon,

with Gary Oldman as the

head of the CIA. (Opens

Friday, April 15.)

Gadot, of course, is

now famous as “Wonder

Woman” and while “Bat-man v. Superman” didn’t

get great reviews, her

stunning red carpet dress

for the film’s premiere led

“W” magazine to recently

comment: “It’s Wonder

Woman’s world, we’re just

living in it.”

JON FAVREAU, 49,

is the director of a

new Disney animated

version of “The Jungle

Book,” the Kipling classic.

It is billed as a re-imagin-

ing of the 1967 Disney

version, and truer to the

original Kipling stories

than the 1967 film.

Jewish thespians whoprovide the voice of

important characters

include: Favreau

(Pygmy Hog); SCAR-

LETT JOHANSSON, 31

(“Kaa”); the late GARRY

SHANDLING (“Ikki”),

and SAM RAIMI, 56, as

Giant Squirrel. Best

known as a director,

Raimi (“Spider-Man”

trilogy) takes a little

acting job occasionally.

Many big-time actors

and directors readily

agree to be in film they

can watch with their

kids. Raimi has five

children with his wifeGILLIAN GREENE, 48

(the daughter of the

late LORNE “Bonanza”

GREENE).

The new baseball

season has begun.

These are the Jewish

players on a major

league team roster as of

opening day: RYANBRAUN, 31, outfielder,Milwaukee; CRAIGBRESLOW, 35, reliefpitcher, Miami; SCOTTFELDMAN, 33, pitcher,Houston; NATE FREI-MAN, 29, first base,

Washington; SAM F

34, outfielder, OaklIAN KINSLER, 33,infielder, Detroit; JOPEDERSON, 23, ouer, Los Angeles; KEPILLAR, 27, outfieldToronto; DANNYVALENCIA, 31, outfOakland. Also a tip

the cap to ELI KASGeorge Washingto

University junior fro

Montclair. Last year

infielder hit .306 an

started all 54 game

GWU is a Division I

school.

Amy Schumer

Inside stuffon Amy Schumer

Jeffrey Salkin Ariel Vromen

Gal Gadot Jon Favreau Gillian Greene

Here’s some

interesting sidelight

about AMY SCHUMER,34, who has become a

major cultural figure in

the last year. Recently, a

friend referred me to a

July 2015 article on the

Religion News Service

website: “Confessions of

Amy Schumer’s Child-

hood Rabbi.” The author

is RABBI JEFFREY

SALKIN, who was therabbi of a Long Island

Reform synagogue to

which Amy and her

family belonged from

1988 to 1995 (and who

also spent a year as rabbi

of Temple Beth Am in

Bayonne). Salkin presid-

ed over Amy’s bat

mitzvah, as well as the

bar mitzvah of her older

half-brother, JASONSTEIN (Amy’s mother,SANDY, was divorcedfrom Jason’s father when

Jason was quite young).

The rabbi recalled liking

the whole family verymuch, including Amy’s

father, GORDONSCHUMER. As for Amy,he says: “I remember

[her] as a sweet, funny

kid, who often asked

probing and humorous

questions in religious

school.”

About Sandy Schumer,

the rabbi writes: “[Sandy]

was on the temple board,

and chaired the educa-

tion committee.” My

friend and I were a little

confused by this state-

ment. He’s a family his-

tory expert and he traced

Amy’s mother’s family

and found no Jewish an-

cestry. Amy has at least

once referred to herself

as “half Jewish” (more on

that below). I know that

some Reform temples

have non-Jews on their

board, but it is still pretty

rare — and wouldn’t the

chair of the education

committee be an odd

fit for a non-Jew? Well,I wrote the rabbi, who

now is the senior rabbi

of a Florida temple, and

asked him awkward ques-

tions: “Is Sandy Schumer

a Jew-by-Choice?”— and,

if not, “I think it is worth

telling my readers that

non-Jews do serve on

temple boards (many of

my readers, I know, don’t

know this).” The rabbi

replied in one sentence:

“Sandy Schumer is Jew-

ish.”

I guess you can see

where I’m going. It’s

apparent that Amy’s

mother is a Jew by

choice, and those bios

that describe Amy as

“half” have to be re-

written. As for Amy de-

scribing herself as “half

Jewish” — well, it was in

the context of a jocular

exchange in which that

comment made “comic

sense.” (Amy Schumer’s

Comedy Central series,

“Inside Amy Schumer,”

began its fourth season

on April 21.)

“Criminal” is a

high-powered action

California-based Nate Bloom can be reached at

[email protected]

“ey sold Joseph into slavery, and that’show the Jews got to Egypt. Right?Did you know that?”

— Republican presidential hopeful John Kasich at a Jewish bookstore in Brook

talking to black-hatted customers. New York Magazine’s Jonathan Chait wrote

“this is a bit like visiting MIT, wandering into a physics lab, and asking people

they ever heard of this guy named Isaac Newton.”

benzelbusch.com

The All-New 2016 GLC SUV

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5/72JEWISH STANDARD APRIL 15, 2

Dr. Benjamin Rosenbluth’s advanced care at Holy Name Medical Center is grounded in an

intense passion for helping others. To him, Holy Name’s appeal is about more than just the innovative

practice of medicine. It’s about a deep, dynamic commitment to touch lives in a way that matters.

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My job: Treating cancer My passion: Our patients


6/72

Local

6JEWISH STANDARD APRIL 15, 2016

Sinai’s growing again

Program for 18- to 21-year-old special needs boys to be housed at Teaneck’s Heichal HaTorah

JOANNE PALMER

The Sinai Schools always have taken

daunting challenges and turned

them into opportunities.

Yes, that sounds like a cliché,

but it’s not. It’s the truth. Sinai takes children

whose special needs have caused them to fail

in school, some of them time after time. Chil-

dren whose parents worry constantly about

their futures — and for that matter their pres-

ent. Children whose families have to over-

come the stigma of special needs, and then

conquer the fear of being unable to afford thespecial education their children need.

The Sinai Schools’ model places special-

needs students in two elementary day

schools and three Jewish high schools, giv-

ing both them and the other schools’ typi-

cally developing students the chance to

spend social time together, demystifying

both groups. It t ailors its programs to it

each student’s unique needs, and it man-

ages, through a complex web of funding,

including gifts from generous local families

and institutions, including Holy Name Medi-

cal Center, to fund almost all of its students,

because it is the rare family that could afford

to pay Sinai’s tuition bill.

All this is wonderful but none of it is new.But using one of its foundational attributes,

the ability to make something very good out

of something inherently challenging, Sinai

has faced a new challenge — it had been run-

ning out of space in one of its high schools —

with a new leap.

In the fall, at the start of the next school

year, there will be a sixth branch of Sinai. It

will meet at Heichal HaTorah, a three-year-

old boys’ high school housed at the onetime

home of the Jewish Center of Teaneck, for

young men.

Now, Sinai’s irst- through eighth-graders

go to either the Rosenbaum Yeshiva of North

Jersey in River Edge, or to the Joseph Kush-

ner Hebrew Academy in Livingston. Starting

in ninth grade, students whose disabilities donot include the intellectual deicits that would

keep them from college, go to the Sinai pro-

gram at the Rae Kushner Yeshiva High School

in Livingston. That program is for both boys

and girls.

Boys whose future is unlikely to include

college go to Sinai at the Torah Academy of

Bergen County, and similarly circumstanced

girls to go Sinai at Ma’ayanot. Both schools

are in Teaneck, and both Sinai programs

enroll students who range from 14 to 21, when

they age out.

Sinai’s relationships with both schools are

very strong and mutually beneicial, Sam

Frishman, Sinai’s executive director, said.

“The culture at TABC comes from the top

and permeates through the staff and stu-

dents. It could not be better in the way that

everyone interacts with our boys, and with

how much our boys gain from TABC boys in

that environment.

“This program is about 20 years old, andthere are now adult residents of Teaneck who

grew up side by side with our boys, and have

become major supporters of Sinai,” he con-

tinued. “They are now community leaders

who are so sensitive to the issues of inclusion,

and why it is so important to have children

with disabilities in the same school as nondis-

abled students.”

The relationship with Ma’ayanot, too, is

strong. “To its great credit, from the time it

opened its doors, its leaders said that they

wanted to establish Sinai there, and every-

thing about it, both philosophically and the

way its girls act, is consistent with the tone

that it took at the very beginning.”

Now, though, as both TABC and Sinai grow,

TABC is running out of room for more Sinai

students, Mr. Fishman said. “We have grown

more than 100 percent at TABC in the last six

years, and the demand for this coming year

would add about another 20 percent, just in

one year. We have a large number of students graduating from our two elementary schools,

and our phone is ringing off the hook with

new prospective parents.

“The word is out. We are getting calls from

near and far.”

It is Sinai’s mission to accept all of the stu-

dents whose needs it can meet. So where to

put them?

“We realized that there was an opportu-

nity,” Mr. Fishman said. “We could continue

to serve children who are high school age in

one school, and then they could graduate

and continue for the next three years at a

new location.”

TABC and Sinai students celebrate together with a sefer Torah.

A Sinai student enjoys a science le

Students learn vocational skills

through Sinai.

A student and teacher work toge

on life skills.


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www.yu.edu/enroll

www.yu.edu | 212.960.5277 | [email protected]

At Yeshiva University, growing your understanding of,

and commitment to, Jewish values is not a club or an

extracurricular activity, it is YU.

From Talmud to mathematics, and Tanakh to

biology, combining Torah study and Jewish values

with a rigorous academic curriculum is the

hallmark of YU. With student programs across our

campuses and around the world, YU takes a global

approach to learning, education and values,

creating a fullcollege experience. This is the essence

of Torah Umadda and what sets YU apart.

Picture yourself at YU. #NowhereButHere

The future is now.

Enroll today.

That will solve an occasionally thorny

issue for the boys. They all graduate — Sinai

students graduate from high school with

their TABC and Ma’ayanot peers — but thenthe TABC boys and Ma’ayanot students go

off to Israel or to college, and the Sinai stu-

dents go back to high school. That situa-

tion will not change for the girls, because

Ma’ayanot still has the space to accommo-

date them, but the boys, like their peers,

will leave high school and move on.

The boys will go to Heichal HaTorah,

where they will be made welcome. Mr.

Fishman is thrilled with the reception

Sinai got there. “We approached them and

asked if they would be open to having a

Sinai presence there, and the reaction was

so heartwarming!” he said. “They said, ‘Of

course we would love it! Those are exactly

the values we want to instill in our boys.’”Rabbi Dr. Yisrael Rothwachs is the

school’s dean. “We have had students in

the past who have struggled with staying

in high school longer than their typically

developing peers,” he said. “To have this

opportunity to split our school and offer

them an opportunity to move on to the

next part of their lives is something that we

hope will be comforting to them and their

families, just in terms of letting them do

what everyone else is doing.”

As the Sinai students in the Teaneck high

schools get older, the educational focus

shifts “from academics and classroom

experiences to vocational and life skills

training,” he said. “At TABC, the approach

for 18-, 19-, 20-, 21-year-olds is more andmore on vocational training, on gaining

more independence in the community.”

In order to concentrate on providing its

oldest students — both boys and girls — and

their parents with the strongest program

possible, Sinai has hired a new director to

head up not only the program at Heichal

HaTorah but also to oversee all the educa-

tion it offers those students.

In some ways, those three or four years

are the bridge between the students’ ado-

lescence and the lives they will lead once

they leave school.

Jordan Si lvestri, a soc ial worker who

has spent the last decade working at

Ohel, “providing, managing, and oversee-

ing community-based and residentially

based programs for men and women withdevelopmental disabilities,” is Sinai’s new-

est director. “One of the major things I’ve

focused on has been residential services,

working with adult males and females in

their next stage in life, assisting them and

guiding them, hopeful ly helping them

develop independent life skills.” Like every-

one else, these students’ trajectories could

take many directions. They might live in

group homes or with their parents; they

might live with roommates, or date and

marry.

“By the time their children are 21, our

parents of students with developmental

disabilities are very good advocates for

them in the educational program,” Dr.Rothwachs said. “They know what their

rights are, and how to navigate the system,

and they work with their case managers

and with us. But many parents describe

their feelings, when their children turn 21,

as walking off a cliff with no support.

“Jordan is very well versed in the new

bureaucracy that parents will face, and

therefore in how to prepare them for it.”

“When the students leave, our hope is to

provide them with as much skill as possible

to get to the next stage of life,” Mr. Silves-

tri said. “It might be a group home, living

at home and going to a day program, or

a vocational program, or some version of

all three. What I have found in my years of

experience is that people who are best pre-pared are most well equipped to go through

a transition successfully, to take advantage

of what the system can offer them, and to

experience new parts of life.”

“Some people think that when you’re

done with school, you’re done growing,”

Dr. Rothwachs said. “That’s not true for

anyone. We want to teach students and par-

ents not just how to deal with the bureau-

cracy, how to live in a group home, but to

be in a place where they can grow.”

For more information about any of

Sinai’s programs, go to www.sinaischools.

org or call (201) 8331134.

Sinai students work on computer skills.


8/72

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A new Jewish voice at the Wayne Y Judy Weil applauds ‘phenomenally forward thinking attitude’

LOIS GOLDRICH

Judy Weil, who recently joined the YMCA

in Wayne as director of Jewish programs,

hit the ground running — beginning work

on February 1, organizing a well-attended

Purim carnival on March 20, and host-

ing a model Passover seder for seniors on

April 13. (Not to mention the “big Pass-

over expo” on the same day showcasing

holiday products, featuring a nutrition-

ist from Shoprite, and including arts and

crafts projects. Oh — and the April 11 cook-

ing demonstration featuring the commu-

nity shlicha.)

As director of Jewish programs and out-

reach, Ms. Weil hopes “to increase the

exposure of Jewish programming at the Y

and increase Jewish membership.”She believes she is particularly well

suited for the position.

“I’ve been a Wayne resident for 30

years,” she said. “My kids grew up here.

I’ve been a member of the Y for 25 years”

— that is, both before and after the facil-

ity changed from the YM/YWHA of North

Jersey to the Wayne YMCA in 2011 — “and

I’ve been past president of [the town’s]

Shomrei Torah and the local B’nai B’rith

Women.”

Ms. Weil is particularly impressed by

the Y’s “phenomenally forward thinking

attitude,” led by executive director Justin

Inhe and associate executive director Joyce

Goldberg Fein. The latter, who is Ms. Weil’simmediate supervisor, was the interim

executive director when the formerly

Jewish Y joined with the Metro YMCA to

become the Wayne YMCA.

Ms. Weil also acknowledged the Jew-

ish Federation of Northern New Jersey,

which has provided a one-year grant to

fund her position.

“It seems to be a lovely partnership,” she

said of the relationship between the two

Ys. “I love that the YMCA’s mission is child-

centric. For example, they provide one

week of free swimming lessons to kids.”

It also, she said, “has been extremely wel-

coming to me.”

She said that the change in the

Y’s status “reflected changes in the

Jewish population of Wayne.” It was only

5 percent Jewish when she moved in, she

added, noting that “with more intermar-

riage, it’s a different community we’re

reaching out to.”

With that in mind, she is preparing a

ive-week program for May, called “Build-

ing Bridges, Building Friendships.” For

that program, she is inviting leaders of dif-

ferent faith communities to address par-

ticipants. One session, she said, will look

at Abraham as the father of two religions.

“Then there will be one from the Indian

school in Wayne; one from the mosque;and one from the rabbi of my synagogue.”

That rabbi, Randall Mark of Shomrei

Torah, has been called upon quite often

since Ms. Weil took on her new position.

“I’ve been leaning on him a lot, but he

thinks it’s great,” she said.

Pointing out that Wayne has a large unaf-

iliated population that might be attracted

by revitalized Jewish programing, Ms. Weil

acknowledged that some former members

simply walked out when the old Y became

part of the new organization. “As a mem-

ber, I heard some grumblings,” she said.

“Some just left. We want to pull people

back in and get new members. Many never

walked in when it had its old name.” But of

those who did, “many stayed.”

In addition to May’s interfaith program,

Ms. Weil is planning a large gathering to

mark Yom HaShoah, “but it won’t conflict

with that of federation,” she said. She will

also coordinate events for Yom HaZikaron

and Yom Ha’Atzmaut.

Hiring a designated Jewish professional

at a YMCA is not common practice, she

continued. One such program exists in

Toledo, Ohio; another is in Jerusalem.

“I was told about one in Massachusetts,

but I can’t ind it,” she said. “This is really

wonderful. It’s taking a look at what the

community is looking for, and then sup-porting it.”

Ms. Weil hopes to reach unafiliated

Jews, as well as those who leave organized

Jewish life after their children have passed

b’nai mitzvah age. “I love a c hallenge,”

she said. She added that she has already

worked together with the town’s Conser-

vative and Reform rabbis and has been in

touch with Rabbi Michael Gurkov, who

heads Chabad of Wayne.

Does she have a ixed agenda?

“I’m making it up as I go along,” she said.

“When I have time, I check on Ys around

the country to see what they’re doing.”

Although her grant from JFNNJ is for one

year, she hopes that it will be extended.

Her initial interview was two-pronged, she

said, and she faced questions from

sentatives of both the federation and“I marvel at the forward think

doing collaborative hiring on this

said. “I told them both that they nee

hire someone from Wayne, someon

knows the players and the town. Bo

tions heard that.”

Lisa Harris Glass, managing di

of the federation’s community pla

and impact department, said that th

for Ms. Weil’s position “grew organ

emanating from a meeting with the

ership of the Wayne Y, including me

of the Jewish committee. The need f

position emanated from the change

management of the Wayne Y to the

YMCAs. They have been great to wor

and have done a lot for the Y. Our ma was to ind a way to preserve and in

the ‘Jewish’ in Wayne, once the Y n

ger had that as its central mandate.

“Although we conceived it more

year ago, the position took a long ti

ill. We were not willing to settle.

“The minute Judy came in for the

view, we knew she was a great it

Glass continued. “She had a clear p

for the Wayne Jewish community. Ad

ally, as a former Jewish professional

Jewish lay leader, she possessed an

understanding of gathering stake

ers and working collaboratively. We

that Judy’s presence and work will

as a fulcrum for the Jewish communWayne, and surrounding areas. We b

her work will provide a means for g

ing Jews of all types for community

in which we can celebrate our Jewi

— where we can come together and fe

collective presence in the communit

Ms. Glass noted that the posit

important “as we believe it will rai

proile of the Jewish presence in the

munity. Ms. Weil also will serve as

duit to bring the federation’s presen

the community in a high-proile wa

federation is already present in Wayn

added, explaining that JFNNJ funds

programs in that area. “But our pro

low,” she said. “We want the Jewish

munity of Wayne to see us and feel u

Judy Weil with haggadah display at Wayne YMCA.



FULLY STOCKED.

Wishing you a happy and Kosher Pesach


10/72

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JCC senior adult services expands dementia program

Center listened to caregivers’ concerns, program director says

LOIS GOLDRICH

Listening to caregivers and

responding to their concerns is

an important part of her work,

says Judith Davidsohn Nahary,

director of senior adult services at the

Kaplen JCC on the Palisades in Tenafly.

Those concerns often are quite pressing

for people who tend to parents, spouses,

or other loved ones with dementia.

For example, Ms. Nahary said, caring

for someone with dementia over, say, a

three-day weekend may be particularly

challenging. With that in mind, the JCC

recently expanded its four-day program

for people with different forms of demen-

tia, including Alzheimer’s disease, to

encompass Fridays as well.“We previously offered four days a

wee k,” Ms. Nahary sai d, not ing tha t

unlike many other organizations, the JCC

provides support groups for caregivers as

well as for their charges. “Several [c are-

givers] said they would prefer ive days a

week, that it would make their l ives eas-

ier. So we put a budget together, ensured

that we [could provide] staff, transpor-

tation, and food, and then went back to

them to see how many would do it.”

Right now, that number is 11, but Ms.

Nahary expects the number of partici-

pants to grow as people explore the new

option.

“In general, that is how we operate with this program,” she said. “The care-

givers tell us what the needs are out

there, and we try to offer them a solu-

tion. We’ll give them the same services

we have currently. We’re not trying any

new services yet. But having an extra

day will allow us to add more to pro-

gramming,” employing different types of

therapies.

In addition to providing transporta-

tion, serving breakfast and lunch, and

running support groups for family care-

give rs and aid es, the program offers

opportunities for exercise as well as

“music, pet, ar t, and youth therapy,” Ms.

Nahary said, adding that scholarships

help defray the costs of the program forthose who cannot afford it.

Thirty-ive people, suffering from

varying stages of Alzh eime r’s dis ease

and other dementias, come to the adult

day care program for seniors living with

those conditions. “Initially, they don’t

need a caregiver,” Ms. Nahary said. “But

once they have additional needs we can’t

accommodate” — such as those involving

use of the toilet and medication — “they

can come with an aide. Most places don’t

allow that. We’re unique in that way. The

reason is because we want to provide

a place for participants to age in place.

While their condition may progress, they

can still do everything. An aide can help.”

Ms. Nahary said most adult day centers

are open ive days a week, but they “are

medical models. I don’t know of many

similar to ours.” What is unique about the

JCC, she said, “is that we are not in an

isolated environment only for this pop-

ulation. We’re in a vibrant communitycenter, with every age group. Because of

that, we can do so much more with our

population.”

That includes intergenerational pro-

gramming and interaction with the per-

forming arts department. “They don’t

feel like they’re in a nursing home or day

center; they feel like part of the commu-

nity,” Ms. Nahary said. “They’re threaded

into it. The staff knows you, and the secu-

rity guards and teachers all know you. It’s

a very different feeling for them.”

To enhance participants’ feelings of

well being, the program strives “to give

participants a sense of purpose,” she

continued. “They’ve spent their lives

caring for other people. This” — demen-tia — “happens, and now they need help.

They may lose their purpose, their inde-

pendence. This takes a toll on self-esteem

and they may become depressed.

“We give them a sense of purpose;

they feel like they’re coming to work. It

changes their outlook, especially with

dementia. We call them volunteers, and

they have an opportunity to work with

the community.”

For example, they may be asked to help

pack weekend snack packs for the Cen-

ter for Food Action, “and they feel like

they’re giving back. Some participants go

home and tell their spouses, ‘ I’m running

the JCC.’ They feel needed and wanted,

so they’re more likely to stay engaged

and active. We’ve found amazing ways to

offer that to them.”

The seniors’ relationship with the JCC

early childhood department is especially

fulilling, Ms. Nahary said. “They love the

children… and some of the children have

cute names for some particular senior,

like ‘bubby this’ or ‘papa that.’”

Careg iver Deborah Chiappane

O’Prandy of Fort Lee, whose 78-year-oldfather, Bill, participates in the dementia

program, said, “We never even consid-

ered another program. We were attracted

by its longevity and its reputation. We

didn’t look anywhere else.”

And while her father was enjoying the

four-day program, “We were so excited

that they would add on Friday,” she said.

“We’ve been involved with the JCC since

September. Dad had been diagnosed with

Alzheimers for ive years and wasn’t able

to drive. This made him homebound, and

we wanted to get him involved with some

kind of program. This was recommended

through the social worker who wa

ing with us in the hospital.”

“I just love the program,” Ms. O’P

continued. “I can’t say enough

things about it.” She said that the JC

vides transportation “and the bus

Shane, comes right to the door. Dad

a kid waiting for the bus with his co

wavin g at the driv er.” He r fathe

said, helps people get on and off.

still able to function in that way.”

Happily, her father met someo

the program that he had known

ago. “Right away they knew each o

she said. “Talk about six degre

separation.”While her dad lives with her now

sister “does the lework, the rese

Sadly, he doesn’t recognize her.

brother, she said, has her dad’s po

attorney.

Since he joined the program at th

“I’ve seen a difference in him,” Ms. O’P

said. “He just fully enjoys the inter

with staff and the exercise. He’s more

ing with people, and he very much

the children. He literally gets down

ground with them.” Perhaps most

tant, “what helps is knowing he’s safe

picked up and cared for from 9 to 3

lets me get to personal appointme

run to the store or to caregivers’ mee

where she sees other people encouna similar challenge.

“It’s weird to have to take car

father,” she said, but noted that her

taking duties began in earnest on

year. She said she appreciates th

from the JCC updating her on her fa

experiences.

“If he’s having a bad day, I get a

call to say ‘this is what happened,

said. “There was a ire drill recent

he had to be outside. He seemed

agitated.’” But in general, she said

makes friends there, and remem

people’s names.”

Bill Chiappane, standing here with his

daughter Jennifer Chiappane Marion,

goes to the JCC’s day-care program.

A bus picks up day-care participants at their homes and brings them back a

the day’s activities. COURTESY DEBORAH CHIAPPANE O’

They feel neededand wanted, so

they’re more likely to stayengaged andactive. We’ve

found amazingways to offerthat to them.

JUDITH DAVIDSOHN NAHARY



©2015 Kings Food MarFollow us for fresh updates | kingsfoodmarkets.com | #80YearsofKings

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12/72

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Coming out of the parents’ closetEshel retreat for Orthodox parents of LGBTchildren creates community, brings hard issues to light

JOANNE PALMER

It’s not easy being Orthodox and

gay. Nor i s it easy being the Ortho-

dox parent of a gay man, a lesbian, a

bisexual, a transgender person, or a

self-identiied queer.

(See? Even the language is hard; “queer”

seems harsh, judgmental, and out-of-

bounds, as well as hard to deine, although

it’s used comfortably by people who apply

that label to themselves.)

In May, for the fourth time, the organi-

zation Eshel, which primarily is a support

system for LGBTQ Orthodox Jews, is offer-

ing its yearly retreat for that community’s

parents.It also hosts a monthly conference

call for parents, along with many other

resources and referrals; see the box for

more information.

It attracts many parents, who ind the

nonjudgmental community it offers a

balm. As many of them say, “When your

kids come out of the closet, you go right

inside it.” And the closet is a dark, airless,

stifling place.

Among those parents who go to the

Eshel retreat every year are at least two

couples from Englewood’s Congregation

Ahavath Torah. One of those couples,

Jeannie and Dr. Kenneth Prager, have been

public about their daughter, Tamar, whois lesbian, whom they love, and of whom

they are deeply proud (as they are of their

three other children).

The other couple, Leah and Steven, as

we will call them, are equally proud of

their daughter, but they do not feel free to

use their names. That’s not because they

are ashamed, they say iercely, and it’s not

because they feel that their own commu-

nity would not accept them, but because

they worry about their former son-in-law’s

community, which is farther to the right

than theirs.

They still are fond of their former son-in-

law, whom they suspect has not been able

to be open about why his marriage died,

and they do not want to cause him anymore pain. They assume that the details

of their story will make their identity clear

to their own community, and they are ine

with that.

Their story centers around their now

32-year-old daughter, “who got married to

a man straight out of college, and we had

no idea whatsoever that she was anything

but straight,” Leah said. “I think she knew.

She identiies as bisexual, and she had a

girlfriend in college, but we didn’t know

she was a girlfriend. She would come to

Shabbat, but the girlfriend part — that part

wasn’t known to us.”

Her daughter “met a very lovely fel -low, and they were married for four years

before they separated and she moved back

home.

“Her husband knew that she identiied

as bisexual, so it wasn’t as much a surprise

to him,” Leah continued. “I’m not sure

that most people know that sexuality is a

spectrum. I didn’t — until I had to.”

Her daughter also had been diagnosed

with major depression, which “derailed

her life, and was a much bigger issue than

the bisexuality, but was not necessarily

connected” to her sexuality, Leah said.

Her daughter is now studying at Pardes,

in Israel, recovered from the depression,

full of hope for her next move. It’s been a

hard slog, though, and her parents hope

that community support will make it easier

both for them and for other parents at the beginning of what might be a long road.

“Our daughter was eager to help us

understand this part of her life,” Leah said.

Leah and her husband did not feel com-

fortable talking about it at shul or with

her friends. “We didn’t know what kind

of response we would get,” she said. But

at her daughter’s urging, she and Steven

went to Eshel’s irst retreat. “It was cathar-

tic,” she said. “I was pleased to ind that

we had a lot of things in common with the

other parents. We could have been friends

anyway. It was a place to talk about any-

thing we wanted to talk about. Everyone

was there for the same reason, and it made

a huge difference.

“It wasn’t that I didn’t know other LGBTpeople. Of course I did. And it didn’t trou-

ble me in any way. But it’s different when

it’s your child. It’s not the trajectory you

expect life to follow.”

Her daughter still is Orthodox. “In that

way, she is different from many other par-

ents we’ve met, whose kids have drifted,”

Leah said. “She is observant. She lives a

shomer mitzvot life, and it’s really hard

inding a place to go if you are LBGT. It’s

hard to ind a place where you can be com-

fortable. It’ s not an issue at Pardes. They

are welcoming.”

Steven was less comfortable than Leah

with the idea of going to the irstretreat. “I considered myself a 21st-c

man,” he said. “I would have been h

if my daughter had igured her sex

out before she married a man, be

this made it disruptive for everyone

found myself identifying with him. B

wife said I am going anyway, and yo

come. And then I realized that if sh

that way, then I also really need to g

The depth of his feelings once

there astounded him. “I sat there we

for the whole time,” he said. “So mu

having made peace with myself.

“I thought that all our problems w

the rear view mirror, that she was m

ing a great guy, with a great fellows

graduate school — she was on her guess it affected me far more than

willing to admit.”

Steven, a lawyer, works in legal pu

ing; for some reason, he said, the

try attracts many gay men and les

“People would say this company

gay!” he said. “So I knew a lot of ga

and women in committed relationsh

the idea didn’t blow me away, but it

have been so much easier if she’d

at 19, when she was home from c

at intersession, not when she was 2

married to a man.”

Jeannie and Dr. Kenneth Prager of Englewood talk to another parent at the retreat.

Everyone sang,full throated, fullvoiced, and you

could just feelthe fellowship.

STEVEN

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14/72

Local


So, with all his preconceptions about his

own state of advanced acceptance, Steven

got to the retreat, “and Friday night, Kab-

balat Shabbat was one of the most moving

religious services I have ever experienced.Everyone sang, full throated, full voiced,

and you could just feel the fellowship,

even though you’d never met most of them

before. It was so moving.

“Eshel is very discreet. There are par-

ents we met at the irst retreat who are still

not out in their community. As the parents

of gay children, it really did provide a safe

space. The feeling of fellowship was very

powerful.”

He can bring some of that feeling home.

“I occasionally lead services at Aha-

vat Torah, and I occasionally read from

the Torah,” he said. “I was afraid that

they might not let me any more, if they

knew. But everyone was very open and

understanding.“There are parents at Eshel who say

when they come out” — as parents of LGBT

children, that is, not as themselves gay or

lesbian — “they are shunned by their com-

munity. We didn’t have any of that.”

Jeannie Prager, who has been going to

the Eshel retreat with her husband since it

began, stressed the importance of commu-

nity. “One of the best things about being

Orthodox is getting the community as

part of your life,” she said. “You are part

of the community, and it is there for you.

And then you have a gay child, and you

lose that. It’s just ripped away from you.

Instantly you feel that you can’t talk to

your friends, that there is no one you cantalk to because you don’t know who will

listen to you.”

Eshel just completed a survey of 100

Orthodox parents of LGBT children, she

said. “Nine percent of them said they went

irst to their rabbi when they discovered

that they have a gay child. That is shock-

ingly low for people who go to the rabbi

for family problems, and it shows that they

are afraid of the response they might get.

“They were afraid that they’d lose

their community. Eshel gives them a

community.”

It took them years to be able to tell their

friends that their daughter Tamar was les-

bian. “Kenny couldn’t tell the people he

learned with once a week for 20 years,”she said. “He just could not say it to them.

Finally, the day before her wedding, I said

to him, ‘It’s now or never.’ He inally got

the words out.” That was in September

2005; Tamar has been happily married

ever since then, and her parents have shed

their reticence.

Recently, Leah and Steven and the Prag-

ers met with their rabbi, Shmuel Goldin.

Rabbi Goldin has begun a series of what

he calls town halls, when he gathers all

the minyanim that make up his more than

700-family congregation together after

Shabbat services and talks about issues in

place of a more standard talk on the Torah

portion. First Rabbi Goldin talks, then he

answers questions posed by his listeners.

The irst town hall was about women,

and the third will be about conversion.

The second, last Shabbat, was about

LGBTQ Jews. Leah, Steven, and the Prag-

ers had some influence over that.First, he allowed the families to post a

flier about the upcoming retreat. Next,

at the town hall, he called on Dr. Prager

for the irst question. “I gave a 10-min-

ute speech, and it was extremely well

received,” he said. “One guy told me, three

weeks later, that I had really clariied some

confusing issues for him. I started out by

thanking Rabbi Goldin, and I told him that

I wished there were 100 Orthodox rabbis

in America today offering people like me a

chance to speak. I thanked him for being

an exception to the rule.

“We are deinitely in a better place than

we were a few years ago, or even last year,”

Dr. Prager said. “I do see progress. Never-

theless, [Leah] and [Steve] and Jeannieand I are, I think, the only families that

have come out publicly in this huge con-

gregation. We know that there are others.

It’s a shonda.”

Rabbi Goldin talks about the issue very

carefully, attempting to avoid the many

landmines it’s easy to trip over.

“I’m not really sure I have changed on

this issue, other than that my positions

have become more detailed,” he said.

There are lines that may not be crossed,

“and I know where they are — and those

lines are not just mine. I have done a lot of

consulting with other rabbis.

“It is extremely important for the com-

munity to address this issue. The way Ishape it for my community is that every

Jewish generation has to balance between

two competing needs, to enfranchise as

many Jews within its time as possible, to

make sure that our Judaism speaks to as

many Jews in our time as we can. At the

same time, we must maintain the tradition

so that it is recognizable, to maintain the

traditional values and laws and rules and

regulations that have characterized our

tradition across time.

“I often say that our Judaism has to be

recognizable to our grandparents and at

the same time our grandchildren’s Juda-

ism has to be recognizable to us. So how

do you balance those needs, deal with

changing times and at the same time main-tain loyalty to your core values?

“Belonging is one of the critical ele-

ments of the Jewish experience,” Rabbi

Goldin continued. “If you have a group of

people who say they feel unwelcome, or

that they are not a part of the community,

then we have the challenge of dealing with

it.

“How do you deal with individuals in

our community who are gay, and who at

the same time express a keen desire to

remain part of the Orthodox community?

How do we balance our boundaries with

the issue of inclusion? It is a challenge, not

something to be ignored.“You have to igure out what your

approach will be.”

His approach, Rabbi Goldin continued,

includes allowing gay men and lesbians to

join his community, “with the caveat that

it does not become a public statement.”

It cannot imply acceptance of anything

larger. He does not think it is his business

to check on people’s sexuality, any more

than he would check on whether they

drive on Shabbat. “But if someone asked

for an aliyah as a Sabbath desecrator,” as a

way to show that Ahavath Torah does not

care about how Shabbat is valued, then

that aliyah would not be given. “If some-

one said that I want an aliyah davka as a gay man, that I am making a statement,”

then there would be no aliyah forthcom-

ing. “We are not making statements other

than welcome to the community,” Rabbi

Goldin said.

“Where the rubber hits the road, where

I ind that I and other rabbis struggle, is

when a gay couple wants to join as a fam-

ily,” he said. “This point would be prob-

lematic. They can join as individuals, but

the unit itself is not something that I can

label as a family. How this will play out in

terms of how we deal with this unit in the

community I really don’t know. I have not

worked this out well enough yet.” Children

of gay couples always will be welcome, he

added, and of course they can celebratetheir smachot at the shul, but it is not clear

how their parents will join them.

It is important that the Orthodox com-

munity be welcoming to the parents of gay

men and lesbians, Rabbi Goldin said. “I

was very pleased that they were comfort-

able enough to approach me and discuss

it with me.

“I feel they need to know that the rabbi

is thinking about these things and strug-

gling with them. Instead of just thinking

that the door is closed, they should feel

that there is an evolution.”

In fact, all four of the parents did

mention that Rabbi Goldin had evolhis position. All of them used that

“I think that the rabbi has to be ho

Rabbi Goldin said. “He has to be co

sionate. He has to recognize the str

They have to see that it is very perso

There are a great many biologica

ological, and cultural factors at wo

added, and that makes the issue

more complex. “I know — and I kno

science tells us — that for a very subs

number of people in the gay comm

it is inborn,” he said. “I have no qu

about that. I also wonder, though, if

aren’t many gay people out there

when things became possible and

able, experimented. This really within our boundaries.” Many peop

with the idea of sexuality and gend

social construct, he said. “This is a

tion so radical as to be mind-boggl

me. Judaism believes that gender

a social construct, that there is a n

dimension to it. If you create a s

where you say that everything goes

there are no limits. That certainly

consonant with Jewish values.

Rabbi Goldin recently announce

in a year and a half, he will leave hi

tion at Ahavat Torah, after more th

years, so that he and his wife, Ba

can make aliyah. This decision, mad

some ambivalence because he is s

gral to Ahavat Torah, and Ahavat Toso central to his life, is huge news bo

his community and for the larger on

of course it affects his ability to contr

direction the community will take

aware of that irony as he speaks.

Still, that is the future. For now, “p

have to understand that one of the re

I did the town hall is because it is i

tant for them to hear their rabbi stru

with the issues, and to hear what go

the rabbi’s decision-making proces

said. “It is not arbitrary. It does tak

of things into consideration. It is an

ing struggle.”

Naomi Oppenheim of Teaneck is another parent who finds community at th

retreat.

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Local


JCC to serve campers Israeli hi-techLARRY YUDELSON

For decades there have been many Israelis at American

Jewish summer camps, bringing Hebrew songs, a taste for

falafel, and Zionism to their American cousins.Now Israel is exporting high-tech teachers.

For its newest summer offering, the Kaplen JCC on the

Palisades is importing a made-in-Israel program from Big

Idea, which offers camps in Israel that focus on high tech-

noloy. In Tenafly, the day camp will be for third- through

ninth-graders.

The Big Idea @ the JCC Hi Tech Camp comes in two

varieties: English and Hebrew, the latter for Israeli fami-

lies living here who want their children to be proicient

in Hebrew.

The programs will combine high-tech topics such as

computer graphics, ilm production, and app develop-

ment with standard camp activities such as swimming.

“It’s about having fun, and getting the kids to learn

about ields they never would have been exposed to,” said

Sharon Goren, the JCC’s marketing manager. “We hope

they will get motivated, get new ideas, be creative, see that

there are a lot of things they can do.”

In Israel, this year will be Big Idea’s ninth summer

running tech-focused summer programs. Its flagship

is a two-week sleepaway program that is expected to

draw 900 campers from around the world. Big Idea will provide the curriculum for the JCC camp, as well

as half of its counselors; the others will be Hebrew

speakers from New Jersey.

Roni Livnat of Big Idea selected the Israeli counselors,

who are “all over 18 and experts in their ield,” she said.

Some are programmers; others are veterans of Israeli

robotic leagues. “All of them are educators, with experi-

ence in summer camps or youth movements or as teach-

ers or counselors,” she said. “All are fluent in Hebrew

and English.” They also are being trained in representing

Israel abroad by the Jewish Agency.

Ms. Livnat went through Jewish Agency training her-

self. She spent two years as a shlicha, representing Israel

in a youth movement in Melbourne, Australia.

There will be one counselor for every seven or eight

campers, she said. “We do it in very very small groups. We

keep it very interactive,” she said.

Yael Feibish of Creskill is looking forward to her ch

being at the camp. She is American and her husb

Israeli, “so our kids are a combination. We’re raising

Campers at the original Big Ideas program in Israe

JCC seeks new koshersupervision after breakwith Rabbinical CouncilLARRY YUDELSON

The café at the Kaplen JCC on the

Palisades in Tenafly is seeking new

kashrut supervision, after the Rab-

binical Counc il of Bergen Count y withdrew its supervision last week.

At issue: The way the café ired its

mashgiach, or kosher supervisor.

According to a statement issued

by the RCB C, “the Café at the

Kaplen JCC ired its mashgiach for

apparently legitimate cause but

without any prior noti icat ion to

the RCBC of a situation that had

been deve loping over time. This

represents a violation of the signed

contract between the RCBC and the

Café at the Kaplen JCC. The Café

was then left without any supervi -

sion at the time and sought to hire a

mashgiach that wasn’t approved by

the RCBC. The RCBC was compelledto remove its supervision due to the

absence of a mutually acceptable

mashgiach.”

“It was a personnel matter,” said

Dorit Reiner, who owns and runs

the café. “It has nothing to do with

kashrut laws or food safety or any-

thing. All the food that’s being

served now complies with all the

standards of kashrut we’ve had in

the past. Nothing changed as far as

we are concerned.”

The RCBC, however, disputes that

characterization of its disagreement

with the café, insisting that th

withdrawal of supervision, t

not prompted by the inding

non-kosher food in the café

not “unrelated to food servi

merely a personnel matter.“The RCBC could no longer

tively supervise the Kashrut

food preparation taking place

Café,” said the statement, i

by Rabbi Chaim Poupko, pre

of the council and associate

at Congregation Ahavath To

Englewood. The council is an

nization of the county’s Orth

pulpit rabbis.

Meanwhile, according to th

an independent, experienced

giach is in place. At the café,

employs six people, the mash

is a full-time position.

“The JCC has been and c

ues to be committed to prova kosher restaurant, where

who are observant feel comfo

to eat. As its mission states, th

looks to serve as a vibrant hom

the Jewish people and welcom

with a vision to be the center

for Jewish life in our commu

the JCC said in a statement last

Rabbi Akiva Block, an RCBC

ber, defended the organiza

decision last week in a letter

congregation, Kehilat Kesher /

munity Synagogue of Tenafl

Englewood.

Fire closes Foster Village Deli indefinitelyLARRY YUDELSON

Foster Village Kosher Deli in Bergenield

is not preparing for Passover. Instead,

the restaurant, which opened in 1966, isclosed indeinitely, damaged by a ire in

an adjacent store, Foster Stat ionery. That

store was gutted by the ire.

“There was a lot of smoke and water,”

Tal Mizrahi, the manager of the family-

owned business, said about the deli.

“Right now we’re unable to open.”

Mr. Mizrahi said he is still iguring out

next steps, as he deals with the insur-

ance. “We’re trying to ind a temporary

location so we can work on the catering

orders that we have.

“It’s pretty devastating. We’re trying to

keep our heads high, and hopefully we

can rebuild,” he said.

He said it could be three months until

the deli is ready to reopen.

“They need to test the building, make

sure it’s structurally sound and safe to

work in,” he said. “Then we can igure

out what the next steps are.”


17/72


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jewishstandard

in a bilingual home, trying to teach them what is impor-

tant to us about Israel, trying to have them learn things

about Israel without being there. This summer is a per-

fect opportunity for that,” she said.

“This camp will have them, I hope, comfortablyspeaking Hebrew, and learning other things they

can’t quite learn in a Hebrew class, like a song or

what kind of games kids play in Israel.”

Last summer, her children attended a local camp

for Israeli children where they learned the ball game

called gaga. “I’m hoping they’re going to get really

excited about gaga again,” she said.

“The other really interesting aspect of this camp

is the technological side of it,” she added. “It’s not

going to be a frontal academic kind of environment

— they have enough of that during the year. It will

have them have fun with technoloy. They have

choices like digital photography, 3D modeling, some

stuff that I honestly didn’t know what it was that just

sounded cool.

“It made me want to learn some of these things

myself.”

“Please rest assured that decisions like this, particu-

larly regarding communal institutions like the JCC, are

not taken lightly,” he wrote. “The RCBC, which con-

sists of over 30 orthodox rabbis from all across Bergen

County and for whom I am privileged to serve as an

oficer, seeks to service our community in the greatestand most eficient manner possible while maintaining

the strict kashrut supervision and standards our com-

munity deserves and has come to expect.”

According to the RCBC statement, “The Kaplen JCC

is an important communal institution and the RCBC

has put forth great effort over the years to maintain

our relationship with the Kaplen JCC and its Café while

maintaining the standard of kashrut on which we and

our community pride ourselves. We hope to continue

working with the Kaplen JCC to ind a solution to this

issue.”

Jordan Shenker, the JCC’s chief executive oficer,

said that while he would like to restore ties with the

RCBC, “they have not given me any indication they

have any interest in doing so at this time.”

He said that “based on the feedback in the commu-

nity, going forward the JCC is going to take a muchmore active and assertive role in managing the rela-

tionship between the café and the kosher authorizing

institution.”

Mr. Shenker said he has been in touch “with several

possible alternative hashgacha providers” and is con-

ident that one will be in place not long after Passover;

the café is scheduled to be closed for the holiday any-

way. Meanwhile, the café plans to bring in and resell

packaged kosher foods, so no one at the JCC will have

to go snackless.

“I want whoever I bring in to have community

acceptance,” Mr. Shenker said. “A standard they’ll

ind not only halachicly acceptable, but also com-

munally comfortable.”


18/72

Local


The wandering Arkansan’s daughterRidgewood rabbi tells the story of the Clintons’ visit to his family’s seder

JOANNE PALMER

Why was that seder night different from

every other seder night?

Of course, we know, every seder is dif-

ferent from every other seder — different

foods, different traditions, some people

missing, others newly present, new wine

stains every year — but in 2000, the guests

at Helene and Rabbi Robert Fine’s seder

in Chappaqua, N.Y., included Hillary and

Chelsea Clinton.

It also included about 15 other family

members and friends. Rabbi Robert Fine,

who since has retired, led Bet Torah, the

Conservative shul right over the

town line in Mount Kisco. The

Fines’ three sons were there, of

course, as the oldest son, RabbiDr. David J. Fine, remembers.

David Fine, then newly

ordained, working on his doc-

torate and at the Rabbinical

Assembly, now is the rabbi of

Temple Israel and Jewish Com-

munity Center in Ridgewood. He

remembers the evening clearly.

The guests were not the only

people in the room. There also

were large -ish men in suit s,

with discreet cords coming out

of their ears, eating nothing,

drinking only water, standing

with their backs to the walls,

unblinkingly watchful.“I always thought of bodyguards like

the Roman ones, who would taste every-

thing irst,” David said. “But these didn’t. It

wouldn’t have been professional.” Instead,

they checked everything very thoroughly

— “they did their perimeter work,” he

added — and then just stood there, blend-

ing in, eventually becoming unnoticed

background to the lively discussion in the

center of the room.

“It was the most secure seder I’d ever

been to,” David said.

For context, Bill Clinton was inishing

up his second term as president, the Mon-

ica Lewinsky scandal still was raging, and

the Clintons, who still lived in the White

House, had bought their house in Chap-paqua. Hillary was taking her “listening

tour,” as she called it, touring her new state

and running for the Senate — an election

that she won that fall. Chelsea was in col-

lege at Stanford. So was David’s younger

brother, Yoni. Everything flowed naturally.

Yoni and Chelsea were in the same social

circle, they lived in the same town, Yoni

invited Chelsea and her mother, along

with other friends, and they came.

“We thought that they must have been

in Chappaqua, but no, they had been in

Washington,” David said. “They flew to the

airport in Westchester to get there.”

Bill Clinton had been invited too, anduntil an hour or so before the seder, no

one knew whether he’d show up. But as it

turned out he couldn’t. He’d been meeting

with Yasser Arafat.

“At the very end of his memoir, ‘My Life,’

Bill Clinton tells a story about his last day

in ofice,” David said. “He wrote that he

got a call from Arafat, who said, ‘You are a

great man.’ And Clinton said ‘No, I am not

a great man. I am a failure. And you are the

one who made me that.’

“When I read that, I was like, ‘Yeah. And

had you known that then, you could have

come to my seder.’”

“What was so special was that it was off

the calendar,” David said. It was a truly pri-

vate event; a real seder, a traditional one.There could be no photographs and no

recordings, because it was a chag, so there

were no artiicial constraints. Just a bunch

of people sitting around the table, talking.

“It wasn’t at all used for public gain,”

he continued. “It was a time for Hillary

to make friends — real friends, not politi-

cal ones — and to be with her daughter

and her daughter’s friends. It was purely

genuine. People say that she’s phony, that

everything’s political, but in my experi-

ence that couldn’t be farther from the

truth.”

“She didn’t want any publicity from it,”

Bob Fine, the brothers’ father

Jewish Standard, April 15, 2016

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Transcript of Jewish Standard, April 15, 2016