Chapter 26 – Teenaged Romantic Angst

A Piratical Legacy: Chapter Twenty-Six - Teenaged Romantic Angst Welcome back to A Piratical Legacy - Chapter Twenty-Six. In this chapter we get to experience the fun of teenaged romance and angst. If you haven't read the previous chapters, this one will make absolutely no sense to you whatsoever, so I suggest backtracking a bit if you're a new reader unless you're the sort who likes to start in the middle. In that case... start reading!

"Can you believe that our youngest child is about to make the great leap into teenaged angst?" Grace said with a nostalgic smile as she and Lee shared lunch on the Saturday after they returned from their whirlwind tours of Three Lakes and Takemizu Village. "Well... our youngest so far," Lee said, rubbing his stomach with a cross between a grimace and a smile. "Can't forget our celestial surprise." "Of course not," Grace said reassuringly. "It's just that the new baby will be practically a generation apart from Zing and Shih. You know?" "Yeah, I know," Lee said. "Well, at least we will have someone to look after us in our old age, eh?"

That evening it was time for Ching Shih's birthday party, and the entire family (plus a few extras) were in attendance. "I can't believe my brother-in-law got probed," Susanna snickered to herself as she found a spot with a good vantage point of the cake. "Bet they're not looking forward to seeing diapers again!" "Mr. Mickles gets to be on diaper duty," Andrew Bigfoot paused for a moment to tell Anna seriously. "It is his turn." "You and Gertie and your Mr. Mickles thing are creepy," Anna said, shuddering. "Indeed," Andrew said. "And being Death's granddaughter is not, Mistress Susanna? But now is not the time to discuss this. Now is the time to cheer for Ching Shih's birthday." And he returned to waving his noisemaker.

And by that point everybody else was joining in waving their noisemakers as well. "Is everybody here for me?" Ching Shih asked incredulously as she leaned over the cake. "We sure are!" Nick and Will cried in unison. "Forty years old and they still speak like that," Grace shook her head as she cheered on her youngest child. "Wonder if they'll ever outgrow it?" "Not very--" "--likely!"

"You're so lucky, Shih," Liv Pseudo said with a sigh. "I can't wait til it's my turn to have a big party and birthday and be a teenager and everything. You'll even be allowed to go out on dates! I think dates sound like fun." "I suppose," Shih said doubtfully as she pondered her candles and thought about her wish. "I'll have to give it a try at least once, I guess. To see what all the fuss is about. And then I can write to Mr. Jim and see what he thinks about the whole thing." "Shih, you talk too much sometimes," Liv observed with a bit of a laugh. "Just blow out the candles and then we can eat cake! Caaaaaaaaaake." "Fine, fine," Shih said. She leaned forward, closed her eyes, and made a wish.

By all accounts, she turned out pretty cute! "Though I do worry about your hair," Grace said, fussing over her daughter. "I wonder if those streaks might be too old for you..." "It'll be fine, mother," Shih said with a wave. "Besides, I bet I'll want to see how a different color works in a week or two. You know me - I'm never content to accept something as it is. I always gotta try something new." "That's my girl," Grace said fondly. "Well, I suppose I like it. Now, why don't you go see what Justinian is waving at you about over there? He's been skulking around ever since you went to change." "Weird," Shih said with a glance in Justinian's direction. "Maybe I'll sic Toshi on him to find out what he wants."

"So Shih thinks it's kinda creepy that you've been staring at her all night and she'd like it if you would just tell me what you want before I have to turn up the volume on the stereo and set up my explosives kit," Toshiko said to Justinian, several minutes later. Justinian turned a bit pale. "Explosives?" "I keep them in my shoes," Toshi explained. She glared at him. "Stop changing the subject! Why're you stalking Shih?" "I just... th-think she's kinda c-cute," Justinian stammered. "Th-that's all. And I w-was going to see if sh-she wanted to g-get some coffee or something." "Oh," Toshiko said, and blushed. "Do you want me to ask her for you or do you want to ask her?" "I think I can handle it," Justinian said. "Just keep your shoes away from me!"

On the porch, a few of the other cousins were chatting as they nommed birthday cake. "The cake was not a lie," Shere Khan said, rubbing his full stomach in satisfaction. "FTW!" "We should run out and get some coffee sometime," Zing said, a trifle awkwardly. "They have some pretty good stuff at the youth centre." "I can has caffeine?" Shere Khan's eyes lit up. "Want!"

"Do you... always talk like that?" Zing asked. "Only sometimes," Shere Khan shrugged. "I consider it an homage to Ceiling Cat and the others before him." "You're weird, Shere Khan," Hugo, who was watching the whole conversation, observed. "I know," Shere Khan grinned. "And I like it!" "Me too," Coxinga muttered under his breath, but Shere Khan heard it (though he didn't let on) and blushed under his fur.

"Err... thanks for coming out with me," Justinian said awkwardly to Ching Shih when they reached the coffee shop after the party was over. They decided to head upstairs and shoot some pool before getting their caffeine fix. "No problem," Shih laughed. "I've wanted to try out this dating thing for a while, Justinian, and well... I've always thought you were pretty cute." She reached for his hand, and Justinian smiled at her awkwardly, though he didn't pull away. Neither of them saw that they were no longer alone.

After a few minutes, though, Shih realized that they were being watched. Glared at, in fact. "Justinian... why is Toast* staring at us like that?" she asked, shivering. "Err... Toast's here?" Justinian went pale. "Where?" He whirled around.

"Right there," Shih said, pointing. "Oh... sh--" "JUSTINIAN TOYONAGA!" === * simself of EphemeralToast, now in teen flavor

Once she realized she'd been spotted, Toast whirled on the young couple and pointed accusingly at them. "Justinian!" she said again as she stomped angrily over. "Are you on a date?" "Kinda," Shih replied. "I mean, I guess it's a date. Why? Is something wrong?" "I'll tell you what's wrong," Toast complained. "You're on a date with my boyfriend!" "What?" Shih was startled. One look at Justinian's face confirmed it, though... he was cringing and his face had gone bright red. "Oh... dear."

"I'm really sorry," Shih continued as she thought very quickly. "I didn't know Justinian was seeing anyone, Toast, or I'd have never gone out with him! I'm not into that whole poaching thing." "I didn't think you were," Toast said. "But Justinian... you've got a lot of explaining to do. First you stand me up, and then you show up three hours later with another girl? This is so not cool." "I'm sorry," Justinian said, deflating. He cast a quick look at Ching Shih. "Sorry, Shih... I shouldn't have asked you out. Toast, please don't be mad!"

"I think I'll just be going now," Shih nodded at the two of them. "I'm sorry if I caused any trouble. Justinian, you're a jerk, and you totally deserve it if Toast dumps your butt right now. As for me, I think I'll swear off dating til college." As Ching Shih strode down the stairs and outside towards home, she could still hear Justinian frantically apologizing.

"Well?" Toast said once she and Justinian were alone. "Any explanations, J? Or are you a jerk like Ching Shih said? Should I dump you right now?" "It's... complicated," Justinian sighed. "Sorry, Toast. I... I can't explain right now. I understand if you want to dump me... but I'm sorry anyway." "Well, I guess that's that," Toast said, making a face. "I'm still pretty mad at you, J. If I call you tomorrow, then we can work things out. If not... don't wait by the phone, okay?" "Fine," Justinian said, his shoulders sagging in defeat. "I'm sorry, Toast..." "Me too."

In the furry Buccaneer household, life was moving on... unfortunately, in the case of Nala, as she'd reached the end of hers. "So I'm the first of the old crew to go, am I?" Nala said sadly to the Grim Reaper. "Pretty soon Benjamin and Roche will be along, won't they." "YES." "Do you regret what you made Roche do in exchange for continuing his family line?" Nala pressed. "Do you, Mr. Reaper?" "ERR... NOT EXACTLY," the Grim Reaper said. "YOU SEE, MY GRANDFATHER WAS THE ONE IN CHARGE THEN AND HE'S SINCE RETIRED. I'M ROCHE'S OLDEST DAUGHTER, SUSANNA... THE PRICE, YOU KNOW?" "That must be awkward," Nala said. "Well, I suppose I'd better get going, hadn't I? I'm glad I won't be alone for too long."

The family grieved the loss of their beloved white tigress, but it wasn't long before some of the younger generation were looking for ways to distract themselves from their pain. "Oh yeah," Shere Khan said to his reflection as he checked it out in the mirror. "I has a flavr and that flavr is teh hot. Meow!" But he couldn't help but feel a few butterflies in his stomach despite his confident demeanor, and he sent a quick prayer up to Ceiling Cat as he left the house. "I can has teh awesome?"

The Youth Center was practically deserted when Shere Khan arrived, much to his relief. He was shy enough when it came to his personal life and honestly didn't feel like broadcasting his intentions in front of the entire high school class on Pirate Island - or in front of his nosy cousin, Angora. "Hey... it's Shere Khan. I'm hanging out at the youth centre tonight... is it can be caffeine tiemz nao plz? FTW! I'll see you in a few minutes!"

A few minutes later, Coxinga arrived and all the butterflies Shere Khan had been feeling rushed up into his throat and threatened to erupt--which would be embarrasing. "Hey," Zing said with a grin. "Hey," Shere Khan said with a shy smile. "Glad you could make it, Zing. Err... want to get some coffee?" "Maybe in a bit," Zing said. He gestured to the photo booth. "Why don't we try out that thing? I haven't had a chance yet."

A few minutes later, they were examining the results of their photo session. "Win!" Shere Khan exclained. He suddenly felt a lot more relaxed. "Dancing tiems nao plzkthx?" Zing was silent for a moment as he mentally translated the request. "Sure!"

"Eurgh, country!" Shere Khan said with a shudder when the two of them got upstairs. "Do not want!" "Switch it to rock," Zing suggested. "Wish they had Jingle Cats," Shere Khan muttered, but the rockin' music that soon filled the room quickly cheered him up... and increased his confidence even further.

Leaning in a bit closer to Zing, Shere Khan smiled awkwardly. "I'm really glad you came out tonight, Zing... I've wanted to get together with you ever since Robin and Toast's party." "Me too," Coxinga replied. He paused for a moment, then continued in a voice that started off as husky but soon broke and soared well into the soprano register. "Have you ever heard of a game I call 'Used Car Salesman'?" Shere Khan was silent for a moment and just gazed deep into Coxinga's eyes. Then...

"I can has kiss?" And, both of them holding their breath, hearts practically in their mouths, Coxinga and Shere Khan shared a gentle kiss.

"Do you know where your cousin is tonight?" Benjamin Buccaneer asked his only niece, Angora. "I think Shere Khan's out on a date," Angora giggled. Since turning to teenager, she'd been pretty obsessed with dating and tended to giggle whenever she discussed the subject. "A date, eh?" Benjamin, a Pleasure sim himself, grinned at that. "I remember the dates your grandmother and I used to have when we were in university," he added fondly. "I hope you can have as much fun when you're there, Angie."

"Me too," Angora said. "I really miss her, grandpa... but I'm glad that we have such good memories of grandma. Did you guys live in Arravast House?" "We did," Benjamin nodded. "Actually, we lived there when your several-times-removed cousin Roche was on his quest to save the family. He and I used to be quite close, back then." "Like Shere Khan and I are close?" "Pretty much, yeah," Benjamin nodded.

"And that's where you and grandma hooked up?" Angora asked as she perused the chess board. "We tried to stay apart for a long time," Benjamin chuckled. "You know, since we're distant relatives and all. But in the end we decided we were happier together than apart." "That's so romantic," Angora said with a sigh. "And it's a bit reassuring that even a serial dater like me could find the right person in university." "The important thing is that you stop dating serially once you find the

right person," Benjamin advised. "So you might want to get a few dozen dates from the matchmaker before you even head off, my dear. You don't want to accidentally hurt the right person when you meet him or her." "Definitely 'him'," Angora said. "I really like boys, Grandpa." "Just make sure you behave with those boys until you're at least at university," Benjamin said. "And never tell your father about all your dates. You'll just end up giving him a lot of grey hairs! 'Cause your dad remembers what he was like at that age!"

Angora took her grandfather's words to heart and made sure her father, Pierce, was busy at the piano when she called the matchmaker the next morning. After all, she didn't want him to worry about her or anything like that.

"A date you want? A date you'll get!" the wise woman said enthusiastically. "This one's directly from London!" "Ooh, a foreigner!" Angora giggled. "What's his name, Val? I can call you Val, can't I? I mean, I think we're going to be seeing a lot of each other over the next few years..." "Hmph, if you must," Valerie Tse sniffed. "You keep paying me top dollar, Miss, and you can call me anything you like." "Well... I'll have the odd cheap date," Angora shrugged. "But if I'm going to try to date fifty people before I settle down, I want at least some of those dates to be fun. So I'll call you Val, and you can call me Angie. Now, what's this one's name?" "Abhijeet Turner," Valerie said. "Abhijeet, this is Angora. She'll be your blind date this morning."

"Wait a minute," Abhijeet complained once he'd cleared the stars that were orbiting his head. "I didn't sign up for this when I joined that blind date program! I distinctly specified London only! Now you take that crystal ball and send me right back home, lady!" "Hey, don't talk to my friend Valerie that way!" Angora protested. "Sorry, but I'm a paying customer and I intend to get what I pay for," Abhijeet said sullenly. "I'm sure you're nice and all, Angora, and you're definitely cute, but I am not interested in a long-distance relationship at all. So it was nice meeting you, but this is definitely goodbye." "Well, that was disappointing," Angora huffed once Abhijeet had vanished back into Valerie's crystal ball. "I hope the next one turns out better."

"It's so cool having my grandfather for a teacher," Toshiko Buccaneer said to herself as she walked into the house after school. "I think I can totally get behind this experiment... Explosive Acoustics are da bomb!"

"I have to ask that you not play with your explodey toys around the house," Toshi's grandmother De* said warningly as she and Toshiko enjoyed a game of Red Hands. "Awww... why not?" Toshiko asked, grumbling. "I wanna see if I can get my microexplosives to blow up on demand when I play the flute. Useful for forced entry and stuff." De stopped for a moment and stared at Toshiko, then shook her head. "What am I going to do with you?" she laughed fondly.

"Help me get a job where I can do all this stuff legally," Toshiko grinned. "Like... assassin. Something cool like that." "I don't think assassins are legal, honey." "We're on an island run by pirates, Grandma," Toshiko pointed out. ==== * simself of fireflower314, writer of the Morgan and Pierce Legacies

After doing her homework (in the relative safety of the backyard), Toshiko headed upstairs to do a bit more research on micro-electronic sonic detonators, but didn't have much luck finding anything. "This is lame," she declared to herself after an hour of fruitless searching. "I need to have some fun! This calls for... a phone call."

So she wandered downstairs, pausing momentarily to jam to one of her favorite tunes on her iPod. "Toshiko, dear, don't grimace like that when you're listening to your music," her grandfather, Bart, said with a wince. "It makes me think you're expecting something to explode." "Sorry, gramps," Toshiko said contritely. "I was just rockin' out. No C-4 involved at all. Nope. And the nitro's all in the bunker in that uninhabited part of the island where you asked me to keep it." "Good," Bart said, relief evident in his tone. "Is there a reason you're gracing us with your presence? Or do you just want to hang out with your grandparents?"

"Actually, I was wondering if it was okay if I went to the youth centre to hang out with some of the gang," Toshiko said. "I already finished my homework, gramps, so you can't get me there." "Why don't you ask your moms?" De asked. "We're just your grandparents."

"Err... they're busy," Toshiko said, shuddering. "So, what do you say? Can I go?" "Just be back by ten," Bart said with a chuckle.

"Sweet!" Toshiko pulled out her cellphone and started dialing frantically. "Okay, guys, it's on! Meet me there in ten minutes? Great!"

"The kids are busy in the hot tub and Toshi's out for the evening," De said with a wink at Bart once their granddaughter had gotten into the waiting taxi. "I can see you've got something on your mind," Bart grinned. He slid onto the couch next to his wife. Let's leave them in peace, shall we?

"Okay, so you tested all the viable hypotheses for our project?" Ching Shih asked once the gang had met up at the youth centre. "Well, all the ones with an actual chance of exploding," Toshiko clarified. "And I managed to get red, pink, and green." "Do you really think people actually keep fireworks in their pants that can go off when they woohoo, though?" Ching Shih said dubiously. "I mean, it sounds kinda... risky." "Well, duh," Toshiko said. "Haven't you heard of risky woohoo?

Wouldn't surprise me if that's where I came from... I'm adopted after all." "Oh yeah," Ching Shih said. "Well, I think we're going to have to put the hypothesis on hold until we're old enough to woohoo ourselves, Toshi. Maybe the fireworks appear spontaneously?" "I guess we'll just have to wait and find out," Toshiko said with a disappointed sigh. "I'm so glad you're not a kid anymore, Shih. It's fun having someone to experiment with. All Angie wants to do these days is talk about boys."

"I bet that's where she is now," Ching Shih said disgustedly in a rather louder than usual voice. "I've had my attempt at dating, thank you very much. And I'm waiting until university before I try it again." "How many times do I have to say that I'm sorry?" Justinian asked in an aggrieved tone. "At least one more!" Ching Shih, Toshiko, and Toast said in obviously rehearsed unison. Justinian winced. "Gah! Will you girls stop doing that? It's creepy!"

"Do you think we've punished him enough?" Ching Shih asked Toast later that evening while Justinian was in the washroom. "I think so," Toast said. "Listen, Shih... I don't think he was just being clueless when he asked you out. I kind of think there's something going on... I'm going to try to talk to J on the way home tonight. Just watch your back, okay?" "Don't worry," Toshiko called to the two. "Ching Shih's perfectly safe... I've got her back."

"Good," Toast said. "I can't really say anything else, but either I or Robin will fill you both in later, okay?" "You'd better," Toshiko said. "Actually, Toshiko," Toast said thoughtfully after Shih had left, "Ask your grandmother if you can come to the meeting later this week." "Meeting?" "She'll know what I mean."

"Who's gonna get you little fishie?" Liv Pseudo sang as she made chomping motions at the fish tank. "I'm gonna get you, little fishie! Fishie fishie!" Even as a child, Liv was still obsessed with the aquarium that her family kept in the master bathroom on the second floor.

"Fishie fishie! I'm a great big alien kitty coming to get you!" Green Boolprop sang. Obviously, Liv wasn't alone in her obsession. Her uncle was equally likely to be found stalking the fish during his morning ablutions.

As was her mother. "Hello fishie!" Orikes* said, waving at the creatures through the aquarium glass. "You're a cute little fishie! Yes you are! Yes you are!" ==== *simself of Orikes (Pseudo Legacy)

"Do you think your girlfriend will like the fish?" Liv asked Hugo before breakfast that morning. "I'm sure Lainey will love the fish," Hugo said. "You'll have to make sure you show them to her." "It's not like she'll be able to miss them," Liv said. "They're right there in the bathroom. There isn't much else to look at while you pee." "Errr..." Just then, the doorbell rang, saving Hugo from having to comment. "I'll get it!" he cried as he raced down the stairs, taking them two at a time. "I thought Lainey wasn't coming til tomorrow!" Liv yelled after her retreating brother. "Did you lie, Hugo Pseudo?" "It's not Lainey!" Hugo called back as he opened the front door.

And a few minutes later, Hugo Pseudo was cuddling his brand new baby pup, a female that he named Lila. Life was good for Hugo Pseudo.

Once Lila had gotten settled in the pets' room with Rags and Kilo, it was time for breakfast (leftovers). "Now remember, Lainey's flight gets in around nine tomorrow," Hugo said eagerly to his father and his sister. "You'll all be there to meet her, right?" "Of course," Will nodded solemnly. "Don't worry about that, Hugo. I can see how excited you are to have your girlfriend visiting. I don't know about this internet dating thing, though."

"I read on the internet that one out of every two people is an axe murderer, so that means Lainey is prob'ly going to kill us all in our sleep," Liv opined. "So I'm keepin' one of Toshiko's grenades under my pillow 'til Lainey leaves. I don't want to get killed with an axe."

"Liv, you're joking right?" Will asked, a combination of amusement and worry playing across his features. "Right?" "Umm... yes?" Liv's expression was innocent. "I'm sure she's not an axe murderer," Will added. "The matchmaking service screens all their clients, right Hugo?" "Well, maybe Hugo's the axe murderer, then," Liv said cheerfully. "Daddy, can we get one of those axe-throwing games? I wanna practice defending myself." "Err... is that the school bus?"

The next morning, Hugo was up at the crack of dawn and pacing around the house eagerly. At precisely nine o'clock, his cellphone rang. "Hugo Pseudo?" "Lainey! Where are you?" "I am at the airport," Lainey's precise tones were a little muffled by static, but understandable enough. "I am hailing a taxi and I should be at your place in a few minutes, Hugo." "Great!" Hugo grinned. "I'll be waiting outside!"

And, true to her word, Lainey was there in record time. Hugo's enthusiastic greeting rather grossed out his little sister.

Several long moments later, the teenaged lovebirds came up for air. "I'm so glad you're here, Lainey," Hugo said with a goofy smile, taking his girlfriend's hand in his. "I've missed you." "I have missed you too, Hugo Pseudo," Lainey smiled, squeezing Hugo's hand in return. "Now that I am here... would it be possible to get a hair cut? I am tired of having braids, and I think they will make me look like a tourist. Can you help me turn into a local, Hugo Pseudo?" "Well, I can try," Hugo shrugged. "I think my Uncle Nick has an old hairstyling kit from when he was thinking about being a hairdresser. I'll see if I can borrow it."

"Are you sure you know what you're doing, Hugo Pseudo?" "It's okay, Lainey," Nick said, coming out of the house to supervise. "I'll make sure he doesn't do anything I can't undo." "This does not fill me with confidence," Lainey said, wavering a bit.

And indeed, a few minutes later Hugo was cringing awkwardly while Lainey chewed him out. "Hugo Pseudo! This is not what I wanted! I look like a clown!" "Oh, it's not so bad," Green, Hugo's other uncle, pointed out. He, too, had decided to observe the transformation. "It's just makeup, Lainey. It'll come off. Why don't you let Hugo try again?" "Well... I suppose," Lainey said grudgingly. "But if this does not work I want to go to a real salon, Hugo Pseudo." "I'll even pay for it," Hugo said fervently.

But this time the attempt was successful, and Lainey was thrilled to see the style Hugo, Nick, and Green had chosen between them. "This is fantastic, Hugo Pseudo!" Lainey breathed as she leaped from the chair and embraced Hugo. "Thank you!" "If you really want to do the pirate thing, I could get you an eyepatch," Hugo offered. "No, this is fine," Lainey said, glancing in the mirror again. "Very fine indeed, Hugo Pseudo."

Once Lainey felt like she could suitably blend in, she and Hugo went into the house where the sat down to breakfast with the rest of the family. "So, Lainey, how do you like Pirate Island so far?" Will asked, smiling welcomingly at the girl. "IIt is very lovely," Lainey said. "Thank you for allowing me to stay here, Mr. Pseudo. It is very kind of you." "Oh, it's no problem," Will said with a shrug. "Err... you aren't an axe murderer, are you?" "Dad!" Hugo groaned. "Stop embarrassing me!" "Oh, it is fine!" Lainey laughed. "I see your father frequents the same web sites I do."

"Actually, it's my little sister who surfs the weird sites," Hugo said. "You do realize you just insulted your girlfriend, right?" Liv pointed out with a smirk. "Aww... I'm sorry, Lainey," Hugo said, blushing and making kissy faces at Lainey. The two of them were lost in the moment for a moment and Hugo mechanically fed Lainey some of his cereal. "Ewww! That's disgusting!" Liv complained. "Plus I'm pretty sure Uncle Green's cereal is getting into Lainey's mouth too. Gross! Stop spraying the table, Uncle Green!" "Sorry!" Green mumbled around a mouthful of cheerios.

"Why are you and my brother so gross all the time?" Liv finally had a chance to corner Lainey later that day when Hugo was in the washroom. "What do you mean, gross?" Lainey asked, puzzled. "I mean all you do is suck each others' faces off," Liv said, making a face. "It must get kinda boring, doing nothing but kissing all the time." "Oh, it is not so bad," Lainey chuckled. "But we do talk too, Liv Pseudo. It is just... we have not seen each other in a long time, so we

missed each other. We can talk all the time on the computer, but we don't have the chance to kiss very often." "I guess," Liv said doubtfully. "I think it'd be more fun playing video games than kissing, but I'm just a kid so what do I know about stuff like that?" "You will understand when you have your first kiss," Lainey said. "I did not understand until the first time I kissed Hugo." "Please, spare me the details," Liv said, rolling her eyes. "Hey, wanna play SSX3 while Hugo's stinkin' up the bathroom?"

Lainey agreed that a video game marathon would be a great idea, since Hugo hadn't emerged yet. Possibly he'd overheard Liv's comment and was too embarrassed to leave the bathroom.

"Lainey, I want you to make yourself right at home," Orikes said when she finally had a chance to talk to her son's girlfriend one-on-one. "If you're hungry, just grab something out of the fridge. If you like blowing bubbles, that's out in the yard. Just don't start smustling or everyone will start doing it and you know how hard it is to stop a group of smustlers." "But what if there is a party?" Lainey asked, sounding a bit concerned. "Hugo said something about having a dance party tomorrow before I have to leave." "Well, parties are different," Orikes said. "Oh, and if you like coffee there's an espresso maker in the kitchen, and you'll be sleeping upstairs in Hugo's room. Don't get any funny ideas, though, because he's sleeping outside in the tent. And I'm going to be sleeping in front of the stairs." "Don't worry, Mrs. Pseudo," Lainey said hastily, blushing. "All Hugo and I do is kiss." "And that's all you'll do until you're old enough for college," Orikes said sternly... and winked.

"Hugo, your mother just said the most peculiar things to me," Lainey said in a confused voice once she and Hugo managed to get the living room to themselves. "Did she spout off that whole speech she's been memorizing about being too young to be a grandmother?" Hugo asked, blushing yet again. "No, and I don't believe you've stopped blushing since I arrived here," Lainey said, turning in Hugo's arms and laughing at him. "I did tell your mother she had nothing to worry about, though. But she still insists that she will be sleeping at the top of the stairs." "I don't see why I have to sleep in the tent," Hugo complained. "I could sleep on the couch down here, or you could stay in Liv's room and I could stay in my room and Liv could sleep on mom and dad's floor."

"Less talking, Hugo Pseudo," Lainey grinned, and pulled Hugo's face down to hers. "More kissing."

"Stupid tent..."

"Dating time," Toby Biggs said to himself happily as he pulled out his cellphone. "Mmm... I like girls..." Looking down at the list of ten or so names he had on speed dial, he chose one at random.

"Candice, it's so great you could come over," Toby said. "Have I mentioned how gorgeous you look today?" "Silly, I'm wearing the same old things I wear every day," Candice said, but she swooned anyway.

Toby pretty much didn't even have to try.

Candice had to leave early to go to work, so once she was safely away, Toby pulled out his trusty cell phone again and called yet another random girl. Before long, Sierra Bradshaw was over. "I'm glad you could make it," Toby said. "I've been having trouble with my chemistry homework and you're the smartest girl in class. I'm sure you'll be able to explain everything." "Just as long as it's understood that I'm only here to help you study," Sierra said pointedly. "I'm not falling for any lines, buddy."

However, before long they were finished going over Toby's homework and Sierra didn't protest too much when Toby suggested they go upstairs to watch TV. "Mom, dad, this is Sierra Bradshaw, a girl from my school," Toby said, settling himself down next to his classmate and discreetly slipping an arm around her. Sierra gave him a look, but didn't move away. "It's nice to meet you," Susanna said with a smile. "I'm Susanna." "Gavin," Toby's father added with a casual wave.

"Sierra, babe, I know you said you wouldn't fall for any lines but is there any chance you'd consider falling for me?" Toby asked with a dopey grin. "'Cause I think you're the prettiest girl I ever laid eyes on." "Eww... are your parents making out on the couch over there?" Sierra asked, evading Toby's question and looking around. "I know, they're a bit much aren't they," Toby said with a shudder. "C'mon, Sierra... I don't bite. Well, unless you want me to." He pulled her onto his lap so she wouldn't have to look at the amorous adults. "Weeell... I guess one kiss couldn't hurt," Sierra said slowly. "After all, you owe me for helping with your homework, Toby Biggs."

The evening fairly flew by, though it's pretty safe to say that neither couple watched much TV. "Toby!" Sierra said, glaring at the youth and moving his hands to a more respectable location. "Well, I had a better time than I was expecting. I'll see you at school on Monday! Oh, and tell your parents they might want to invest in a room!"

"Well, your friend seemed like a nice enough girl," Susanna said once Toby had seen his date out the door. "Yeah, she's pretty cool," Toby said. "But mom, why'd you and dad have to go and make another of my dates all awkward? At least you didn't bark this time, but still... you're Romance. You know how certain things can totally kill the mood." "Didn't seem to cause a problem this time," Anna shrugged. "That's 'cause I was busy keeping her distracted from you guys being gross!" Toby shuddered. "I think it's great that dad's your favorite boyfriend, mom. I really do. But still... keep some sense of propriety in front of my girlfriends, okay?" "Well, if you insist," Susanna chuckled, ruffling Toby's hair. "Next time we'll go out to the hot tub." "I don't know if that's better or worse," Toby shuddered.

Another day, another date. Toby's high school years were flying by, and he was certainly keeping himself busy.

Toby headed outside to wait for his date, Ivy Rusewicz, and while he was waiting another girl walked by. Well, Toby could hardly resist... while he saw Ivy approaching from down the street, he decided to introduce himself to the stranger. "Toby Biggs," he said smoothly.

"Nice to meet you, Toby," the girl giggled. "I'm Veronica Seavey." "Nice to meet you, Veronica," Ivy interrupted, striding into the conversation. "And now, if you'll excuse us... Toby and I are on a date." "Oh, I'm sorry for interrupting!" Veronica exclaimed. "I'll be on my way, then. See you around, Toby." "It was nice meeting you, Veronica," Toby said, shaking her hand and unobtrusively slipping her his phone number.

"Toby, you're just going to turn around and call her the moment I leave, aren't you," Ivy pouted. "Ivy, would I do that?" Toby shook his head and pulled her into his arms. "Yes!" Ivy glowered, but she didn't pull away.

It really was nothing short of amazing just how many girls Toby's cheesy lines and meaningless assurances got to. Or it might just be that there was a disproportionately high number of romance and pleasure sims living in Paris with him.

And, of course, despite his protestations to the contrary Toby invited Veronica over a couple of hours after Ivy had gone home. "You're one of those guys who leaves a trail of broken hearts behind him, aren't you," Veronica sighed after finally letting Toby kiss her. "I love the female species," Toby shrugged. "I don't see why that's a bad thing. I don't promise commitment, after all." "I suppose," Veronica shrugged, evading Toby's lips as he tried to kiss her again. "But don't you get tired of going out with a different girl every day? Don't you ever want to see the same one again?" "Sometimes I do see the same one again," Toby shrugged. "Girls aren't just tallies on my blackboard, Veronica. I think females as a species are cool. Maybe it's being raised by six guys, but you're so alien to me... and so soft." He sighed happily as Veronica finally let him kiss her again.

"So how many girls are you up to now?" Toby's "Uncle" Don Thayer asked later that evening as they played a cutthroat game of pool. "Oh, I'm not keeping track," Toby shrugged. "A few." "Got any tips you'd like to share?" Don was only half joking. Elderhood was fast approaching him (along with the rest of Toby's "uncles") and he kind of wanted to settle down himself.

"I just smile a lot," Toby shrugged. "The ladies all seem to like it pretty well." "And what do your parents think of your speed-dating?" Don asked. "Err... they usually congratulate me," Toby said. "Figures."

It was a rainy day on Pirate Island when Robin Zomg*, one of two simselves who had volunteered to be aged down to child and grow up with the legacy children of the sixth generation, called a meeting of her fellow simselves. "Okay guys, can we settle down back there?" she asked, glaring at the group that was still largely chattering. "Hey! Shaddup!" Gradually, the noise died down. "That's better. Now, as you all know this isn't one of our regularly scheduled meetings. I've asked you all here today because of some disturbing news I've received recently." ===== *simself of Robinoli (omgrobinnn on the Exchange)

The assembled simselves nodded respectfully and waited for Robin to continue. "Ahem," Robin cleared her throat nervously. "Anyway, so I think that A Piratical Legacy is in danger and it's up to us to stop it." Well, that comment certainly provoked a reaction.

"Wait, what do you mean the legacy is in danger?" Denise Avidreader* asked. "Shouldn't we have invited Sarah to this meeting? I mean, it is her legacy... we shouldn't really interfere." "We may not have a choice," Robin said. "I received a phone call a couple of days ago from a sixth generation spare of the legacy family... someone from his line of the family wants to take over both the legacy and the island." "That's not exactly possible," Denise said. "Just by moving off of the lot any usurper is disqualified." ===== * simself of avidreader2466

"I don't really think the usurpers care," Robin said. "They're feeling wronged because they're descended from Jack Buccaneer Sr.'s eldest child and they're Roman and think the oldest should inherit." "Wait..." Denise's voice trailed off as a horrifying thought occurred to her. "Does this have anything to do with what happened to my son-in-law?" "I'm afraid so," Robin said. "Crassus was the one who overheard the plotting. Apparently his older brother, Justinian, is being blackmailed. He's supposed to get the legacy heiress to fall in love with him and take over the legacy family that way."

"So that's what was up with Justinian," Toshiko's eyes lit up with sudden understanding. A descendant of a simself, she was De's guest at the meeting. "He was being really weird around my cousin and then he asked her out ... and they ran into his actual girlfriend there." "Exactly," Robin said. "Now, I finally had a chance to explain to Toast what was going on and she's forgiven Justinian. And Ching Shih thinks he's a jerk so that avenue is closed to the Roman conspirators. But I'm afraid the entire family is still in danger. They're capable of zombification again, and we can't allow that to happen. But, thanks to Professor Butters getting wind of their scheme early on, they also don't know that we're on to them. I think if we can get the family out, we'll be able to break their power."

"Exactly," the Professor* said. "I believe it's imperative that we rescue Ellen, Sejanus, Crassus, and Justinian Toyonaga from Justinian's evil great-aunt Octavia and great-uncle Septimus. Octavia and Septimus are essentially cowards and are hesitant to act when confronted with superior firepower. If we can get past their defenses and get the hostages out, the police should be able to move in and deal with them." ===== *simself of ProfessorButters (loolooloo16play on the Exchange)

"But shouldn't we let Sarah know about our plan?" Michelle Fobbs* said, shaking her head. "I mean, we're stepping on her toes for sure if we go ahead with this. This is her world." "By all accounts, Sarah is completely unaware of everything that has transpired," Robin explained. "I think telling her would only worry her. Besides, we've all dealt with legacy and apocalypse villains in our own stories. I think we can get this mess cleaned up without involving Sarah at all." "I don't know," Michelle said. "I think this could be a bad idea. But if I'm overruled then I'm overruled. What are we doing and when do we start?" ===== * simself of MichelleFobbs (MichaelFobbs on the Exchange)

"I say we go now," Denise cried. "Let's get my daughter, grandkids, and son-in-law out of there! No Romans are going to hurt them if I have anything to say about it. I had no idea things were so bad..." and abruptly her anger turned to remorse. "I should have known something was wrong..." "Don't worry about it, Denise," Professor Butters said soothingly. "They were very, very sly and manipulative. They definitely got a larger-than-average dose of the Roman plotting gene. We'll save your family." "Good," Denise said. She turned to Robin. "So what's the plan?"

"Well," Robin began, "you might have noticed that Toast isn't here. That's because she's out with Justinian again. She's going to go home with him tonight and confirm what's going on with Ellen and Sejanus. She'll keep an eye on things and let us know when to make our move and bust the family out -- Sejanus and Octavia have been spending an awful lot of time at the Toyonaga household lately, so it could be pretty dangerous if we move too soon. The whole family will go into hiding in Paris until we've had a chance to deal with Septimus and Octavia. Once they're in jail, the family will come back." "I like it," Jenn Ndainye* nodded. "A good solid plan with a good, solid course of action. I approve. Soo... what's the timeline, Robin?" "We all meet back when Toast gives the signal," Robin said. "By then, everything should be in place..." ===== * simself of Ndainye

When Professor Butters got home from the meeting she was surprised to find that her daughter, Lucretia Marius, was still awake and doing her homework. "Better head to bed," she advised. "You have a test tomorrow." "I know," Lucretia said. "But mom, it's no fair. You're my teacher. You're also my mom. You're not supposed to give me tests. Anyway, I can't go to bed yet. Circe and I are studying." "Twenty more minutes," the Professor said sternly. "No more, you hear me? Circe, make sure she listens."

The red-headed cat with markings that oddly resembled a lab coat sneezed, and stalked off in the direction of Lucretia's bed. "Circe, do you know the answer to this question?" Lucretia asked, shoving her notebook under the cat's nose. Circe eyed the girl and tapped one paw idly on the page. "Thanks!" Lucretia said, and circled the correct answer. "You're the best, Circe!"

Thanks to her cat's assistance, Lucretia finished her homework before the allotted twenty minutes was up and spent the rest of her time playing with her little brother, Erroneous. "Do you want the toy, Erroneous?" she asked, waving the rocket just out of her brother's reach. "Toy!" Erroneous squealed, reaching for it.

"Well, you can't have it!" Lucretia giggled and yanked it out of her brother's reach. "Ha ha!" "Give!" Erroneous yelled, and reached madly for the toy again, but Lucretia held it at arm's length while she laughed. You can take the Marians out of Rome, but you can't take the Mean out of the Marians.

The next evening, Toast hadn't given the word that the time was right so the Professor and Flavius decided to hold a birthday party for their eldest child. "She reminds me so much of Cassius in some ways," the Professor sighed as Lucretia leaned over the cake. "I hope she doesn't take after him in other ways..."

Unfortunately for the Professor, her daughter did indeed follow in her oldest brother's footsteps. Lucretia Marius was a Romance sim, and one eager to find as many ladies as she could. Cassius would be proud, if he were to visit Pirate Island.

"Come here, Erroneous," Flavius cajoled the next morning. He didn't have to work so childcare fell on his shoulders instead of the nanny. "You might as well learn to walk sometime." "Otay," Erroneous said, and took a few tottering steps in his father's direction. "I do it! Yay!"

Erroneous used his newfound mobility to stalk Circe the cat through the rooms of the house, much to her disgust.

In fact, little Erroneous was the only one present in the master bathroom when Circe finally had her kitten, a long-awaited arrival.

The Marius family was happy to welcome a little male kitten named Raiden into their family. He had his father Loki's base coloring - only time would tell which parent he most resembled in other ways.

That afternoon, Robin stopped by to check in with the Professor. Toast hadn't given the word yet, and everything still hung in the balance. "Robin!" Lucretia said eagerly, meeting her classmate in front of the house. "What are you doing here?" "Simself stuff," Robin said. "Gotta fill your mom in on the latest." "Well, mom's still at work," Lucretia said. "Want to come in? I'm watching Rent." "Sure!"

"Wow, cool room," Robin said appreciatively once the girls were inside the house. "But... where's the TV?" "Oh, it's in the living room," Lucretia said. She snagged a DVD off of her desk. "Just grabbing this. C'mon, let's go!"

Let's just say that the movie wasn't the only thing on Lucretia's mind--or Robin's. The Professor just shook her head when she got home. "Be careful," she warned the younger simself. "Lucretia's just Cassius in a skirt." "Cassius wears a skirt anyway," Robin said. "Mo-om!"

At the opposite end of Pirate Island, the legacy family members were still happily oblivious about the danger facing their family, and Ching Shih had even pushed her disastrous date with Justinian completely out of her mind. "Come in, come in!" Marie said enthusiastically when her granddaughter arrived. "What brings you here today, dear?" "Just wanted to see you," Shih said. "You and grandpa are both getting old and you don't stop by the house very often anymore." "I know," Marie said. "It's a bit far for me to walk, these days, and I don't have a car." "You should let Zing sell you one," Shih laughed as she followed her grandmother into the house.

They settled onto the couch. "Grandma, I kind of worry about you living here all by yourself," Shih said after they'd made small talk for a few minutes. "Oh, don't worry about me," Marie said dismissively. "I'm old, but I'm not decrepit. Still, I don't do things as quickly or as well as I used to, so I've asked Nick and Green to move in with me and they'll inherit the house when I die."

"I'm glad to hear that," Shih said. "Not that you think you're going to die soon--" "Who said anything about soon?" Marie interrupted with a raucous chuckle. "I just want someone else to cook for me and do the dishes!" Shih joined in her grandmother's laughter, feeling relieved. "Okay, that's good. I'm glad they'll be staying with you." "Me too," Marie said. "It gets a bit lonely out here sometimes." "Why don't you move back into town?" Shih asked. "You and grandpa get along just fine--I've heard the barking in the past, and it scarred me for life--so I don't think it would be very awkward."

"But it's beautiful here, in my little corner of the island," Marie said contentedly. "With Nick, Green, and their dog and cat moving in soon, I won't be lacking for company. Just promise you and your brother will visit often, okay?" "Well, I can't speak for Zing," Shih shrugged, "but I'll stop by as often as I can." "That's my girl," Marie said, smiling fondly. She stood up from the couch. "Now, enough of this maudlin talk. Let's have some fun!"

The grandmother-granddaughter bonding continued through most of the afternoon. Marie had cared for Shih as a baby occasionally and still remembered how ticklish her grandchild was, for one thing.

And both elder and younger Buccaneer were accomplished jugglers and took advantage of the other's expertise to work on a complicated triple-pass-loop maneuver. Finally, though, Shih headed home with a promise to come visit again very soon.

The next day, though, it was Zing and Shere Khan who stopped by to hang out with Marie. "I hope you don't mind, Ms. Buccaneer," Shere Khan said awkwardly. "Zing said it would be okay." "Of course it's okay," Marie said jovially. "The more, the merrier! Anyway, if the rumors about you and my grandson are true, you'll always be welcome here, young man." Shere Khan blushed. "Win!"

Shere Khan had to leave a bit earlier than Zing, so Marie's oldest grandchild did get to spend a bit of one-on-one time with his grandmother. "You still smustle like you're a teenager," Zing said approvingly. "I bet you could win a dance competition if you entered one." "Oh, don't be silly," Marie said, blushing. "Besides, they don't have dance competitions on Pirate Island." "I heard there's a new studio opening in a few weeks, but you have to earn an exclusive membership," Zing shrugged. "I also heard there's going to be a car club. I'm pretty excited about that."

"Arr!" Marie did the wolfman as the smustle dictated. "You still obsessed with cars, Zing?" "Cars and money," Zing said cheerfully. "But I'm starting to realize there's a bit more to life than just those things, grandma." He blushed, but continued on determinedly. "Still, I wish the family wouldn't squander their money so much. I'm going to do my best to make sure that Shih doesn't have to climb too far out of debt when she assumes the heirship." Marie stopped dancing and looked at her grandson for a moment. Then she just shook her head, laughed, and made him eat a cookie.

The next morning, bright and early, Nick, Green, and their two pets moved in. "It's going to be weird, living apart from Will," Nick said nervously. "Are you sure you have room for us, mom?" "Well, somebody's going to have to sleep on the hammock for a few days until we can expand the house a bit," Marie shrugged. "But the weather's been nice most of the time. Or I could die first." "Geez, don't even joke about that, mom," Nick shook his head disapprovingly. "A woman my age is allowed to have a macabre sense of humor," Marie said firmly.

"IT'S OKAY, CHRIS... I AM A CAT PERSON," Susanna the Reaper said consolingly to my husband. "That doesn't bring Bonkers back," Chris sniffled. "He was a good little kitty." "ALL HE DID WAS FIGHT WITH YOUR OTHER CATS." "They were playing!" "Err... actually, they were trying to kill each other, dear," I pointed out to my distraught husband. But I couldn't help but sniffle a little myself. Bonkers had been with our sim-family since Hercules was an

infant, and now Herc was a grandfather... so Bonkers had been with us a long time. "Take care of him, Anna," I murmured as I wiped my face and set about cooking up something especially rich and chocolately to cheer us all up. "I WILL." "If you come back later, we'll be having brownies," I added. "OOH! YOU DO KNOW THE WAY TO A REAPER'S HEART. BESIDES THROUGH THE RIBCAGE, THAT IS."

It wasn't just brownies we ended up having later, though. As I'm a family sim, and I was getting tired of waiting for my many deific descendants to give me more grandbabies, I decided to clone a podbaby. This is Dionysus.

And Dionysus' best friend in the whole world is Nemesis, the boy kitty that our other cat Zanzibar had with Bonkers a few days earlier.

Chris' and my daughter, Athena, was only slightly surprised to find out that she was a big sister when she got home from school that day. Any resentment she might have had about no longer being the youngest was quickly gone once she realized just how cute Dionysus was, especially when he was dancing.

I was a bit shocked to discover that little cuddly toddlers weren't the only thing Athena was finding cute these days. Toby Biggs was on Pirate Island visiting family and he was a frequent visitor to our house.

I'm pretty sure Athena even got her first kiss from him, though she neither confirms nor denies when I ask her directly. I just made her promise not to fall in love with the rascal.

Still, he did treat her pretty well for the duration of his vacation... flowers arrived on our doorstep frequently, and it was obvious that Toby did like Athena from the way he sighed when he delivered them. I decided that he didn't need to be ZOTZ!ed just yet. But if he ever breaks my baby's heart... well, it won't be pretty.

Oh, and our family was expecting another surprise as well. What can I say? I'm a Family sim! And real-Sarah lives a bit vicariously through sim-Sarah in this particular regard. Yes, as far as I was concerned, all was right with Pirate Island...

"I dunno, Toast. I'm a little nervous... make that a lot nervous," Justinian gulped. "I don't want my family to get hurt."

"They've already been hurt," Toast said. "And they'll be hurt again unless we do something to stop your aunt and uncle from doing something worse, J. Listen, we've got backup coming. Once we're in the house, I'll give them the signal. What could possibly go wrong?"

"Ah, if it isn't the meddling young simself... how kind of you to join us." To be continued...