United Methodist Men Spiritual Life RetreatSpringmaid Beach, South Carolina

February 22-24, 2013

Rev. James L. Friday

Leading Your Family in the Light of God: Principles for Leading Your Family

Scriptural Focus: Psalms 128

Psalm 1281Everyone who honors the Lord, who walks in God’s ways, is truly happy!

2You will definitely enjoy what you’ve worked hard for—you’ll be happy; and things will go well for you.

3In your house, your wife will be like a vine full of fruit.All around your table, your children will be like olive trees, freshly planted.

Psalms 128 (cont.)

4That’s how it goes for anyone who honors the Lord:they will be blessed!

5May the Lord bless you from Zion.May you experience Jerusalem’s goodness your whole life long.

6And may you see your grandchildrenPeace be on Israel! (CEB)

GOALS

•Men Leading •Christ Centered•Families

Men, we will be the thermostat and our families will be the thermometers of how well

we are leading

A Godly Man Leads His Family with Godly Love

Leading from a Proper Foundation

• Personal Commitment to God: Matthew 22:35-40

• Builds Prayerfully and Carefully: 1 Corinthians 3:9-17

• Builds According to God’s Word: Matthew 7:24-29

• Sets the tone for His Family: Psalms 144:9-15

35One of them, a legal expert, tested him. 36"Teacher, what is the greatest commandment in the Law?" 37He replied, "You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your being, #Deut. 6:5and with all your mind. 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: You must love your neighbor as you love yourself. #Lev. 19:1840 All the Law and the Prophets depend on these two commands."

Matthew 22:35-40

9 We are God’s coworkers, and you are God’s field, God’s building. 10 I laid a foundation like a wise master builder according to God’s grace that was given to me, but someone else is building on top of it. Each person needs to pay attention to the way they build on it. 11 No one can lay any other foundation besides the one that is already laid, which is Jesus Christ. 12 So, whether someone builds on top of the foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, grass, or hay, 13 each one’s work will be clearly shown. The day will make it clear, because it will be revealed with fire—the fire will test the quality of each one’s work. 14 If anyone’s work survives, they’ll get a reward.

1 Corinthians 3:9-17

15 But if anyone’s work goes up in flames, they’ll lose it. However, they themselves will be saved as if they had gone through a fire. 16 Don’t you know that you are God’s temple and God’s Spirit lives in you? 17 If someone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy that person, because God’s temple is holy, which is what you are

1 Corinthians 3:9-17 (cont.)

24"Everybody who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise builder who built a house on bedrock. 25 The rain fell, the floods came, and the wind blew and beat against that house. It didn’t fall because it was firmly set on bedrock. 26 But everybody who hears these words of mine and doesn’t put them into practice will be like a fool who built a house on sand. 27 The rain fell, the floods came, and the wind blew and beat against that house. It fell and was completely destroyed." 28When Jesus finished these words, the crowds were amazed at his teaching 29 because he was teaching them like someone with authority and not like their legal experts.

Matthew 7:24-29

Psalms 144:9-159 I will sing a new song to you, God. I will sing praises to you on a ten-stringed harp,10 to you—the one who gives saving help to rulers, and who rescues his servant David from the evil sword.11Rescue me and deliver me from the power of strangers, whose mouths speak lies,and whose strong hand is a strong hand of deception,12 so that our sons can grow up fully, in their youth, like plants; so that our daughters can be like pillars carved to decorate a palace;13 so that our barns can be full, providing all kinds of food; so that our flocks can be in the thousands—even tens of thousands—in our fields;14 so that our cattle can be loaded with calves; so that there won’t be any breach in the walls, no exile, no outcries in our streets!15 The people who have it like this are truly happy! The people whose God is the Lord are truly happy!

He Creates the Proper Atmosphere

Creating the Proper Atmosphere

• He leads with a work ethic: Genesis 2:8, 15

• He leads his house well: 1Timothy 3:4-5

• He loves his wife: Ephesians 5:15-33

• He lives with his wife: 1 Peter 3:7

• He honors and knows his wife: 1 Peter 3:7

1 Timothy 3:4-5If anyone has a goal to be a leader in the church, they want a good thing. 4 They should manage their own household well—they should see that their children are obedient with complete respect, 5 because if they don’t know how to manage their own household, how can they take care of God’s church?Ephesians 5:15-3315 So be careful to live your life wisely, not foolishly. 16 Take advantage of every opportunity because these are evil times. 17 Because of this, don’t be ignorant, but understand the Lord’s will. 18 Don’t get drunk on wine, which produces depravity. Instead, be filled with the Spirit in the following ways: 19 speak to each other with psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs; sing and make music to the Lord in your hearts;

20 always give thanks to God the Father for everything in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ; 21 and submit to each other out of respect for Christ. 22 For example, wives should submit to their husbands as if to the Lord. 23 A husband is the head of his wife like Christ is head of the church, that is, the savior of the body. 24 So wives submit to their husbands in everything like the church submits to Christ. 25 As for husbands, love your wives just like Christ loved the church and gave himself for her. 26 He did this to make her holy by washing her in a bath of water with the word. 27 He did this to present himself with a splendid church, one without any sort of stain or wrinkle on her clothes, but rather one that is holy and blameless.

Ephesians 5:15-33 (cont.)

28 That’s how husbands ought to love their wives—in the same way as they do their own bodies. Anyone who loves his wife loves himself. 29 No one ever hates his own body, but feeds it and takes care of it just like Christ does for the church 30 because we are parts of his body. 31 This is why a man will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife, and the two of them will be one body.32 Marriage is a significant mystery and I’m applying it to Christ and the church. 33 In any case, as for you individually, each one of you should love his wife as himself, and wives should respect their husbands.

Ephesians 5:15-33 (cont.)

1 Peter 3:7

7Husbands, likewise, submit by living with your wife in ways that honor her, knowing that she is the weaker partner. Honor her all the more, as she is also a coheir of the gracious care of life. Do this so that your prayers won’t be hindered.

This week assignment

Consider and list five ways you can be your family’s joy this week and in the weeks to follow.

The Family that Prays Together Stays Together

Creating the Proper Atmosphere (cont)

Children

• Encourages them: Ephesians 6:4; Genesis 18:19; Proverbs 13:22

• Trains and Nurtures them: Proverbs 22:6; Deuteronomy 4:9-10; 6: 4-9

• Discipline them: Hebrews 12:6; Proverbs 13:24

Ephesians 6:44 As for parents, don’t provoke your children to anger, but raise them with discipline and instruction about the Lord. Genesis 18:19I have formed a relationship with him so that he will oversee his children and his household after him. And they will keep to the Lord’s path, being moral and just so that the Lord can do for Abraham everything he said he would."

Proverbs 13:2222 A good man leave their grandchildren an inheritance, but the wealth of sinners is stored up for the righteous.

Proverbs 22:66 Train children in the way they should go; when they grow old, they won’t depart from it.

Deuteronomy 4:9-10; 6:4-99 But be on guard and watch yourselves closely so that you don’t forget the things your eyes saw and so they never leave your mind as long as you live. Teach them to your children and your grandchildren. 10 Remember that day when you stood before the Lord your God at Horeb, when the Lord said to me: "Gather the people to me. I will declare my words to them so that they will learn to fear me every day of their lives on the fertile land, and teach their children to do the same."

Deuteronomy 4:9-10; 6:4-9 (cont.)4Israel, listen: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. 5Love the

Lord your God with all your heart, all your being, and all your strength. 6These words that I am commanding you today must always be on your hearts and minds. 7Recite them to your children. Talk about them when you are sitting around your house and when you are out and about, when you are lying down and when you are getting up. 8Tie them on your hand as a sign. They should be on your forehead as a symbol 9Write them on your house’s doorframes and on your city’s gates.

Hebrews 12:5-6My child, don’t make light of the Lord’s discipline

or give up when you are corrected by him, 6because the Lord disciplines whomever he loves, and he punishes every son or daughter whom he accepts. Proverbs 13:24

24Those who withhold the rod hate their children,but the one who loves them applies discipline.

Leading Your Family In a Community of Believers

Leading Your Family In a Community of Believers

Joshua 24: 14-15 • 14“So now, revere the Lord. Serve him honestly

and faithfully. Put aside the gods that your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates and in Egypt and serve the Lord. 15But if it seems wrong in your opinion to serve the Lord, then choose today whom you will serve. Choose the gods whom your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you live. But my family and I will serve the Lord."

Leading Your Family In a Community of Believers (cont.)

Hebrews 10:19-2519 Brothers and sisters, we have confidence that we can enter the holy of holies by means of Jesus’ blood, 20 through a new and living way that he opened up for us through the curtain, which is his body, 21 and we have a great high priest over God’s house. 22 Therefore, let’s draw near with a genuine heart with the certainty that our faith gives us, since our hearts are sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies are washed with pure water. 23 Let’s hold on to the confession of our hope without wavering, because the one who made the promises is reliable. 24 Let’s also think about how to motivate each other to show love and to do good works. 25 Don’t stop meeting together with other believers, which some people have gotten into the habit of doing. Instead, encourage each other, especially as you see the day drawing near.

Strong Families makes Strong Churches and

Strong Churches makes Strong Communities

Amen and Amen.

UMM Retreat, February 22-24, 2013

Evans, Dr. Anthony T. The Christian Family. (2000) Dallas, TX: The Urban Alternative. ISBN 1930893000