THE DEVELOPMENT OF

CHILDHOOD FRIENDS The Story of Tom, Tyler, Joe, and Lander

We all met when we were five and six years old. We

lived across the street from each other, which

strengthened our friendship even more. We were

inseparable. Everyone knew who we were in our

neighborhood and were surprised to us when we

weren’t with the others. These were my brothers

growing up. We were there for every high and low

point in each of our lives. We called ourselves “The

Mess Gang”, and nobody could touch us. We were

young and bold. Care free of what was to ever

come later in life. We enjoyed every moment we

had with each other. This is the story of the

development of Tom, Tyler, Joe, and Lander.

TOM

When Tom was five, you already knew this kid was going to go somewhere. He had the comedy sense that comedians 30 years older than him had. He was also a phenomenal drummer. There are videos of him when his just a toddler playing full versions of Beatles and The Who songs. Tom just had the eye for artistic things in life. Tom was not afraid to meet new people or make fun of himself, because he had a very strong sense of self. He had his flaws as well though. He was afraid to be alone or be in emotionally intense situations, due to the fact that his older brother had died when he was three. He loved to make people laugh, but he had a hard time understanding when he had gone too far or was hurting people just to get a good laugh. Tom was like every five year old though, he was full of innocence and laughter, yet didn’t understand how the world and its social conventions worked.

When Tom was 16, not much had changed with humor, music skills, or his ability to not care about what people thought about him. He was beginning to come out of his shell about worrying about being alone and being around emotionally intense situations, but he was still hesitant at times. You could tell that he was unsure what he wanted to with his life. He was afraid to leave home and be on his own. He never really had a plan on what he wanted to do after high school, which worried us as his friends, cause we didn’t want him to waste this great talent he has. At this point in his life, he was very into music, and tried to emulate his music idols (as seen with his bleached blonde hair and skinny jeans). Sometimes it was hard to see his sense of self with the constant changes with his musical influences, but you know that Tom was still his true self. Tom had helped lead the high school drum line to two state titles in his first years at high school, which says a lot about is music ability and dedication. Tom was the kind of person that just knew how to put a smile on people’s faces and turn their whole day around. He was the person to turn to when you were feeling down.

Now Tom is 20, and he has seemed to make a complete turn around with his life goals. He is currently in junior college, with ambitious plans to transfer to North Central College in Naperville after this fall semester. He has all A’s and B’s in his courses and has been so organized that it’s scary. He has fully broken out of his shell of being nervous and alone and has become a completely independent person, which makes us proud of him. He plans to major in advertising and use his artistic talent. He is also still strongly pursuing music. Us two are writing music together and plan on releasing an album, and he is also working on creating his own solo work. Tom’s sense of self is stronger than ever. He has never stopped not caring about what others think of him, and does what he thinks is best for Tom. He still has an amazing sense of humor and is still the go to person to talk to when you’re having a bad day. Tom has made many physical and mental changes, but he is still that same fun loving five year old at heart.

TYLER

When I was five years old, I was a very shy kid. At times, I was very closed off and hard time meeting friends. That was until I met Joe, Tom, and Lander, who helped get me out of my comfort zone. From ages five to twelve, I was somewhat stripped of having a childhood, due to the fact that my dad went on three year long tours for the U.S. Army, which put a lot on me. I had responsibilities that no other kid my age had. I learned how to fix a furnace, change a car tire, and other things that most kids would learn when they were in their mid teens. I was worried about taking care of my mom and making sure everything was taken care of before she came home from a long day at work each day. But Lander, Tom, and Joe helped me maintain a since of normality in my life. They were always there to help me when I was having problems and helped me grow as an individual. They got me into sports and music and helped me become a more confident person.

When I was 16, I had the best and worst times of my life. I seemed to use my dads absence's at a young age as an excuse to act out. I was a good student, but I seemed to retaliate a lot against my teachers. I had a healthy relationship with my parents, but my dad’s Post Traumatic Stress Disorder made it difficult to be home sometimes. That’s where I found shelter in my best friends. They were my safety net and helped me escape from my problems for a while. In high school, I got really into lacrosse and music, and realized that these were two things that I wanted to pursue in the future. These were my passions, and they helped me get my act together. I began to pick up Tom’s mentality of not caring of what people thought of me and worried about what I needed to do with my life and what made me happy. I had gotten out of my shell of being shy and had less of a problem of meeting new people. I was becoming a more well-rounded individual.

Now I’m twenty, and a lot has changed. I’m currently pursuing my goals of playing college lacrosse, and I’m writing and playing music off to the side, which makes me happy because these are my true passions. I spent a month in Europe, which was a huge life changing experience that taught me the importance of being a more organized, focused, and accountable person. I stopped blaming others when things went wrong in my life and learned from my mistakes and worked on what I could do to be a better person. I’ve decided that I want to be a teacher, because I want to be a positive influence on kids and help them through times and be there for them like my friends, family, and teachers were for me. I try my best to put others before me and make sure that they are okay before my problems are solved, because I know how it feels to feel alone and feel like no one cares about your problems. My parents and I are better than ever and strengthen our relationship every single day. They have helped make me who I am today and helped me get where I am today. I’ve learned that family and friends are everything. I try and enjoy the little things in life, because in the long run, they are what add up and truly matter. I have a very strong sense of self and purpose now.

JOE

When Joe was six, he was the kid that every one

picked on, but regretted it immediately because he

was a black belt in karate at this age. He was the

smallest of the group but had the biggest temper

out of all of us. He was a very smart and fun loving

kid, but was very aggressive at the same time. He

had trouble making new friends because he was

very unapproachable at times. Joe had one of the

biggest hearts out of all of us, but had a hard time

showing it. He used to get into fights with all of us

over little things. This was due because he was so

passionate about things but couldn’t express that

passion in a healthy way. We still loved Joe, flaws

and all, and learned how to handle his outbursts the

best way five year olds could do, which was with

large amounts of laughter.

When Joe was 16, he went off to a boarding school

that helped kids with dyslexia. Joe was a very smart

kid, but had trouble learning in school due to this

disability. Going to this boarding school could’ve

been one the best things for Joe. When he came

back for the summer after his first year, he was a

totally new person. He was extremely calm and

wasn’t aggressive anymore. He had a whole new

outlook on life. He was all about positivity and

helping others. He spent most of his free time

working at a camp helping kids with disabilities or

certain sicknesses. He was always such a

compassionate person, and now he finally found a

way to show that compassion and use it to the best

of his abilities. You could never see Joe without a

smile on his face.

Now Joe is 21, and he has made a full 180 from

what he was when he was six. He is working to

becoming a school counselor at Gannon University

in Pennsylvania to learn how to further help at risk

kids and every summer he goes on trips to help kids

in third world countries. Joe never gets angry about

anything anymore. He is probably one of the most

level headed out of all of us. He is always smiling

and always wondering what he could do to help us

and others out. He is a total health nut and

somehow manages to wake us up at 6:30 in the

morning to go on runs. He is the Energizer Bunny and

we love him for that.

LANDER

When Lander was five, he was the most energetic

and fun loving out of all of us. He had no problem

going up to new people and instantly becoming

friends with them. That’s how we became friends. A

hour after I had just moved in, he was at my front

door already asking if I wanted to go out and play.

He was fearless and compassionate. Every one was

also very afraid of him because he was one of the

biggest kids in our grades, height and weight wise.

Lander was the “enforcer” in our group, and every

one was afraid to pick on us because they knew

that Lander would not tolerate it one bit. Lander

had the ability to see the good and everybody, and

that’s why people were drawn to him.

When Lander was 16, nothing much had changed

about him. He still had this great energy around him

and was still never afraid to meet new people. He

was beginning to gain a passion for sports and

became a starter for the varsity football team as a

freshman and sophomore. He was a very caring

individual and tried his best to help turn around

people’s bad days. He was never the best student

though, which got him down a lot of the times and

made him not want to pursue school further past

college, which worried us all because we knew

what he was capable if he applied himself. Lander

was more worried about working jobs and being an

independent individual and pay for things himself,

since the money situation in his family was tight. He

wanted to help them out as best he could.

Lander is now 21, and still not much as changed

about his personality. Physically though, he has

changed a lot. He went from weighing 245 lbs. and

dropped all the way down to 215 lbs., which makes

us all really happy for him cause we were very

worried about his health. Lander is currently working

a full time job framing houses, and he is very happy

with it. At this point in time he doesn’t want to

pursue school any further, which worries us, but we

want him to be happy and working full time is what

makes him happy. Lander is about to move out and

get a place of his own he’s been doing well with

work. At the end of the day, Lander is the same little

kid at heart that I met 15 years ago. He is one of the

most caring people I know.

Now 15 years have past since the first photo and a lot has

changed about us, especially physically. For the most part

though, we are still the same little kids are heart that came

together when they were five and six. I consider these guys my

brothers until the end. We talk every single day despite being

apart from each other and always know what’s going on all of

our lives. We are still developing as individuals, but we will always

be there for each other every step of the way.