The Loafer - Jan. 7, 2014

, The Loafer • January 7, 2014

www.theloaferonline.com January 7, 2014 • The Loafer,

Volume 28

Issue #5

Published by Creative Publishing, Inc., P.O. Box 3596, Johnson City, TN 37602

www.theloaferonline.com • [email protected]

e-mail: [email protected] (editorial)


Bays Mountain Park, located in beautiful Kingsport, Tennessee, is a 3500 acre nature preserve and the largest city owned park in the state of Tennessee. The Park features a picturesque 44 acre lake, a Nature Center with a state-‐of-‐the-‐art Planetarium Theater, and Animal Habitats featuring wolves, bobcats, raptors and reptiles.The Park is closed on New Year’s

Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, and Christmas Day. Occasionally, the Park is closed because of hazardous conditions (icy roads, mostly). During snowy weather, please call ahead for Park conditions, (423) 229-‐9447.November thru FebruaryM-‐F: 8:30 AM – 5:00 PMSaturday: 8:30 AM – 5:00 PMSunday: 12:00 PM – 5:00 PMNature CenterM-‐F: 8:30 AM – 5:00 PMSaturday: 12:00 AM – 5:00 PMSunday: 12:00 PM – 5:00 PM

History of Bays Mountain Park

For as long as one can recall, Bays Mountain has always enjoyed a wonderful history of serving. While the Bays Mountain of decades past is very much different from the way we know it today, the common thread that strings each decade and generation together is service.From the early 1800’s through

the early-‐to-‐mid 1900’s, Bays Mountain provided for those families who settled on the mountain. The mountain provided settlers with land to farm, wood for building houses, a church and even a school. Obviously life was much different then, but relying on Bays Mountain to provide the resources, wildlife and harvest needed to survive and thrive was a given. It surely wasn’t easy, as their were challenges provided by any mountainous terrain, but those families who did make the mountain there home, proudly did so. Many of their stories are wonderfully told in our Farmstead

Museum.Watershed FormedIn 1907, one of Kingsport’s

founders, J. Fred Johnson, began buying up land on Bays Mountain to create a lake to be used as

Kingsport. By 1914 Johnson had purchased the roughly 1,200 acres that surrounded the watershed and sold it to Kingsport Waterworks Corporation who promptly began work in 1915 preparing to build the now iconic dam seen as visitors enter the common area atop Bays Mountain Park.Bays Mountain’s dam was built

by approximately 35-‐40 men who worked 10 hour days to complete the project. Many of those who assisted were family members of those living on and around the mountain. For example, mountain landowner Jerome Pierce provided a wagon and team of mules to haul the rock and steel needed to build the dam. Much of the rock was quarried from the mountain itself.

the city and in 1917 the dam was raised six more feet creating a 44-‐acre lake, the same size the lake is today. Bays Mountain’s lake served the city until 1944, when the city

capacity to provide. But in some ways, this is where the modern day Bays Mountain story begins.The Park is BornFrom 1944 through 1964, Bays

Mountain served locals in different ways: timber was selectively harvested, hikers enjoyed the early

and hunters challenged their skills. As this usage grew, so too did the public’s interest in preserving the mountain for usage. Thus, in 1965, Mayor Hugh Rule appointed a committee to study ways to possibly develop the mountain into a park. Following the committee’s report, which included hiring a naturalist, the City of Kingsport hired the National Audubon Society to help design a park. Among those representing the Audubon Society

Holmes.

The National Audubon Society’s recommendations were to designate the area as a nature preserve to also allow hiking, naturalist-‐led activities, natural history studies, research and leisure activities such as photography, painting, wildlife observation and school day-‐use. They also recommended building a maintenance shed, a residence for a caretaker and an interpretive nature center. In short, the park was to be of great service to the public, including schools, while also serving to preserve the natural habitat it featured.As development began in

1968, so did visitation on a very limited basis. Work was still being completed on the service/entrance road and the parking lot remained

car limit was enforced. In 1969, the

one part-‐time and one full-‐time, to accommodate visitors and park users.Nature Center OpenedWith assistance from Eastman

Bays Mountain Park

Continued on page 5

Chemical Company (then known as Tennessee Eastman) and from a bond referendum voted on by citizens, work began in 1970 on the park’s nature center and planetarium. The Nature Interpretive Center was dedicated and opened on May 24, 1971, with eight park staff on board to continue the work that had already begun in serving the public and numerous school groups already visiting.Since that time, the park has

only continued to grow and… serve. Animal habitats have been added such as the otter habitat, deer habitat, Herpetarium housing native reptiles and amphibians, and in 1992, gray wolves joined the lineup of species featured at the park. The Farmstead Museum was built and opened in 1988 preserving the story of those families mentioned earlier who lived on the mountain years ago.Planetarium RenovationIn 2009, the park experienced

another great development when the planetarium was totally

renovated and upgraded. The $1.3 million project gave the new planetarium improved seating, 6.1 surround sound, and thanks to a Zeiss star projector it also now

can use a pair of binoculars to see stars on the dome they cannot see with the naked eye! And the really neat thing is, thanks to the technology, the viewer is totally immersed in the subject being shown. For example, the

opening, “Connections,” began with a walk in the woods looking at wildlife. Visitors literally felt like they were walking along a trail in the woods! And so, the new planetarium will allow us to serve schools in exciting new ways while offering the potential to do even more.Today, Bays Mountain Park &

Planetarium serves much more than 150,000 visitors each year. There are now 40 miles of trails for hiking, with 26 of those approved for mountain biking… an adventure ropes course with zip line has been added… and, of course, we still have the 44-‐acre lake that pretty much started it all.


Continued from page 4


TCB Shows and R&M Tribute Entertainment presents Legendary Tributes – Elvis Birthday Celebration at the Renaissance Center in Kingsport, Tennessee

on Saturday, January 11, 2014 at 7:00 PM. Admission is $10.00 per person. Reserved seating is available by contacting Carole Polk or Missy Miller.The show will feature Terry

Turner as Jerry Lee, Conway and Elvis Presley. Ronnie Miller will perform as Englebert Humpertdink and a stage style tribute to the King

of Rock n Roll. Location for the event is the

Kingsport Renaissance Center, 1200 East Center Street, Kingsport, TN 37660. The Kingsport Renaissance

Center is a facility which serves the community as a center for the arts and senior citizen’s activities, and as a facility for business

meetings, parties, receptions, classes, showers, and day long seminars with breakout rooms. It is managed by the City of Kingsport’s Cultural Services Division as part of Parks and Recreation. The facility includes a 350-‐seat theatre, three-‐story sky lit atrium, art gallery, gymnasium, meeting rooms and

Terry Turner is from Lincoln, AL and Ronnie Miller is from Maryville, TN. Terry Turner is the Alabama Ambassador for St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital in Memphis, TN. A portion of the proceeds

Jude’s. For more information or to reserve seats contact Missy Miller at (865) 684-‐6082 or Carole Polk at (205) 567-‐2556.Terry Turner is not new to the

entertainment business. He has performed to audiences from casinos in Las Vegas for several years as a headlining act and East Coast showrooms, to enlisted men in Iceland. ....as well as across the U. S. and the Caribbean and the

His showmanship and vocal abilities bring a quality of excellence that is unsurpassed. Terry began his climb in the

business as a teenager in the coal mining town of Harlan, Kentucky. He now returns there every year to give back by doing a week long tour of nursing homes in that area plus a concert in his hometown.

When missing out on his children growing up was the cost of staying on the road; Terry gave it all up. He went to work for the Florida Department of Corrections; worked his way up through the ranks and retired a Major with numerous citations and awards

the Year . Terry holds a Black Belt in Karate and is an award-‐winning marksman.During his years in law

enforcement; his vocal talents were only used for church and charities. However, with his children grown and retirement on the horizon;

love......performing. Today this gifted entertainer is

again onstage as not only a top Elvis, but nationally acclaimed, multi-‐talented impressionist. Terry does 46 different voices, and is a brilliant musician and songwriter as well. Terry Turner is again winning audiences everywhere he travels with his amazingly beautiful voice, handsome looks, and warm stage presence as he did in the seventies and eighties. In 2010, he was voted one of the top Elvis entertainers in the world in Memphis, Tennessee. It is said that time stands still for no one, but it seems that is not the case for Terry Turner.He is back and he is better than

ever!

Elvis Birthday CelebrationKingsport Renaissance Center

January 11th, 7pm


The Grandfather Mountain Stewardship Foundation, the non-‐

operates the Grandfather Mountain travel attraction, is inviting all of its friends to invest in a membership to its new “Bridge Club” as a way to express their support for the work of the Stewardship Foundation. Beginning January 1, 2014, the membership cards will replace the annual passes sold at the attraction in the past.“The Grandfather Mountain

Stewardship Foundation exists to preserve Grandfather Mountain in its present state and to insure that the experience of this mountain that we enjoy today will be available for our children and grandchildren to experience in the future,” said Stewardship Foundation Board Secretary Catherine Morton. “Every day visitors tell us that they share our desire to keep Grandfather Mountain the way it is today and

we hope that by offering these memberships our supporters will recognize that we consider them vital partners in our mission to preserve the Grandfather Mountain experience.”

the new Grandfather Mountain “Bridge Club” include unlimited free admission to Grandfather Mountain for 365 days from the date of joining or renewal, a10% discount at Grandfather Mountain gift shops, restaurant and fudge shop, discounts on behind-‐the-‐scenes tours, guided hikes and the family campout, discounts at Biltmore Estate, Tweetsie Railroad, Chimney Rock Park, the Great Smoky Mountains Railroad and Mast General Store, complimentary coffee or tea at Mildred’s Grill, a subscription to the quarterly Members E-‐newsletter and the monthly E-‐Scape newsletter, and invitations to special member

programs.Bridge Club memberships are

available at $30 for an individual child, $70 for an individual adult, and $215 for a group of six (member + 5 guests traveling in the same vehicle). Group memberships will be issued with two member names so that either member may present the card, whether traveling alone or as a couple. Memberships are non-‐transferrable and include the 6.75% NC Admission Tax.Anyone who purchased an

annual pass in 2013 who would

associated with the membership is invited to pay the difference between the 2013 annual pass purchase price and the corresponding membership fee. The upgrade will entitle the 2013 pass holder to discounts at the gift shops, restaurant, fudge shop, and on guided hikes and behind the scenes tours, as well as invitations

to member only events.All proceeds from ticket and

souvenir sales are reinvested into caring for and presenting Grandfather Mountain in a manner that helps visitors connect with nature in new and rewarding ways. Similarly, revenues from the sale of memberships in the Bridge Club will be used to maintain and enhance Grandfather Mountain’s guest experience.Memberships can be purchased

on the web at grandfathermountain.org, over the phone by calling 828-‐733-‐4337, or in person by going inside the entrance gatehouse on your next visit.

The Grandfather Mountain Stewardship Foundation is a not-‐

to preserve Grandfather Mountain, operate the nature park sustainably in the public interest, provide an exceptional experience for guests, and inspire them to be good stewards of the earth’s resources. Photo: The Bridge Club lets you

enjoy greater access to the wonders of Grandfather Mountain and save on your visits here, while helping build a bridge to the future, and future generations, for Grandfather Mountain. (Photo by Dr. David Blevins)

Grandfather Mountain Stewardship Foundation Launches New

Membership Campaign


The Trinity Arts Center (Johnson City, TN), in collaboration with the Screen Artists Co-‐op (Asheville, NC), is bringing professional actor training to the Tri-‐Cities area. New

are developing everyday for those in the southeast region. More than 20 television series are shot in this area now, including: Sleepy Hollow, Nashville, The Walking Dead, Homeland, American Horror Story, Vampire Diaries, Drop Dead Diva and more. In addition, over

is booming in the Southeast with over $4 billion spent in North Carolina and Georgia alone, as well as the creation of thousands of jobs in 2013.The Screen Artists Co-‐op (SAC)

professionals in Western North Carolina whose mission is to train and mentor actors, while

sharpening their tools to make them more competitive. Actors of all ages and backgrounds have come to SAC to train, many whom have had little to no prior professional television

expanding it’s highly focused and successful instructional approach to include a youth division that will serve an ever increasing need for well-‐trained youth actors in the southeast region. Most recently, the addition of Screen Artists Talent (SAT), the only licensed talent agency in Western North Carolina, provides SAC actors with opportunities for representation and the ability to earn while they learn.With 70% of SAC actors currently

working on a range of projects, it

themselves on sets within months of beginning courses at SAC. The dedication to creating a community of resources and opportunities

for actors of all experience levels, and the mentorship of SAC founder Jon Menick have attracted beginners to lifelong professional actors and performers. SAC also provides services such as head shot photography, audition taping, and one-‐on-‐one coaching.Instructors include Jon Menick,

Jennifer Gatti, and Dusty McKeelan.

and resumes here: http://screenartistsco-‐op.com/about/mentors.htmlThere has never been a better

time to launch your career as an

SAC and the Trinity Arts Center on January 11th at 1 PM to explore how you can get started in the

backyard.For more information visit

screenartistsco-‐op.com or email info@screenartistsco-‐op.com.

Professional Actor TrainingTrinity Arts CenterJanuary 11th, 1pm


The Crooked Road: Virginia’s Heritage Music Trail presents a Youth Music Series concert on Thursday, January 9th, from 6:30 to 8:00 p.m. at Heartwood: Southwest Virginia’s Artisan Gateway in Abingdon, Virginia. The concert will feature Sycamore Hollow from Lee County.Formed in early 2013,

Sycamore Hollow has transcended

genre lines in bluegrass music, blending traditional roots music with contemporary repertoire and energetic performances to create their unique personality.

sound of the Stanley Brothers to the gritty charisma of the SteelDrivers, the band has performed at regional venues including the Doc Boggs Festival at the Country Cabin

in Norton, Virginia. Sycamore Hollow released its debut album, “A Different Frame of Mind”, in the fall of 2013 -‐ featuring a mixture of traditional and original songs that personify the band’s driving sound. The Crooked Road Music Series

features youth music performers, as well as showcasing venues of the Crooked Road region. These events along with open jams on the 1st, 3rd, (and 5th) Thursday of every month are hosted at Heartwood. A complete schedule for the music series is available on The Crooked Road website at www.thecrookedroad.org or at www.heartwoodvirginia.org. The music series is sponsored by The Crooked Road, Heartwood, Virginia Commission for the Arts, and the National Endowment for the Arts. Heartwood: Southwest Virginia’s

Artisan Gateway is located off I-‐81 at Exit 14 in Abingdon, Virginia and features food, music, and craft of Southwest Virginia. Admission to the concert is free and donations will be accepted for The Crooked Road Traditional Music Education Program (TMEP).For more information on The

Crooked Road Music Series call (276) 492-‐2409 or email: [email protected].

Sycamore HollowHeartwoodJanuary 9th


The music of folk singer and dulcimer player, Sarah Morgan, embodies her respect and joy of folk music and her creative approach to arranging. Backing traditional Appalachian melodies and haunting old time tunes with fresh harmonies and a progressive drive, she lends a new feel to seemingly “old” tunes, while accompanying pure and heartfelt vocals with the unpretentious sound of the Appalachian dulcimer. Folk, Americana, and Old-‐Time roots are brought to the forefront at live shows, where only Sarah and her dulcimer can be found behind the microphone, creating a subtle yet powerful sound that brings the relevant music of the past to today’s audience.Listen to Sarah’s music at www.

sarahmorganmusic.webs.com

Sarah MorganAcoustic CoffeehouseJanuary 15th, 8pm


Saturday, January 11th, 2014, at 7:30 p.m. the Carter Family Fold in Hiltons, Virginia, will present a concert of bluegrass music by the Tyler Williams Band. Admission to the concert is $8 for adults, $1 for children 6 to 11, under age 6 free.Tyler Williams grew up in

Ohio and moved to Johnson City, Tennessee, to study bluegrass music. Ashley Davis is from Fayetteville, North Carolina. When the two of them met at the Galax Old Time Fiddlers Convention in 2007 it wasn’t long before they teamed up to form a band.Tyler is blind and has cerebral

palsy, but he has never let that hold him back. His interest in music began when he was just a year old.

his grandfather gave him, and he was playing it by age four. At age

piano lessons by ear. When he was six, his Uncle Derek -‐ a guitar picker -‐ introduced him to bluegrass.

bluegrass festival. It was there that he met Alison Krauss. His interest in bluegrass kicked into high gear when he was 16. Tyler honed his vocal skills by listening to CDs of his favorite artists. By age 17, he was participating in jams and became part of the Hocking Valley Bluegrass Boys. When he turned 18, he developed an interest in guitar and mandolin. In 2006, he joined the ETSU Bluegrass program. He graduated in December of 2011.Ashley began reading music

when she was young, and her mom gave her piano lessons. After she saw the movie Oh Brother Where Art Thou?, her musical interests shifted to bluegrass. She began attending local jam sessions and sought out musicians who would instruct her in bluegrass style

to play in Bill Jordan’s band. In 2007, she joined a group called the Parsons. Ashley became part of an all-‐female group Sweet Potato Pie in 2008. She’s now joined Tyler, and they have formed their own group.Watching the two of them

perform is spellbinding. Tyler’s vocal range and instrumental talent are nothing short of amazing. Ashley is already one of the best

imagine how their talent will grow in years to come.For some of the best traditional

bluegrass the region has to offer, be sure to come out and see the Tyler Williams Band at the Carter Fold. Their show is more than just entertaining – it’s inspirational. There will be lots of

great instrumentals, and amazing harmony. For more information on the band, go to http://www.tylerwilliamsband.com/. You’ll also

and YouTube.Carter Family Memorial Music

rural arts organization established to preserve traditional, acoustic, mountain music. For further information on the center, go to http://www.carterfamilyfold.org. Shows from the Carter Family Fold can be accessed on the internet at http://www.carterfoldshow.com. Carter Music Center is part of the Crooked Road: Virginia’s Heritage Music Trail. You can visit the Crooked Road Music Trail site at http://thecrookedroad.org. Partial funding for programs at the center is provided by the Virginia Commission for the Arts and the National Endowment for the Arts. For recorded information on shows coming up at the Fold, call 276-‐386-‐6054. The Fold is on Facebook – page Carter Fold – and Twitter – Twitter @carterfoldinfo. To speak to a Fold staff member, call 276-‐594-‐0676.

Tyler Williams BandCarter Family Fold

January 11th


What is a traditional art? The people who lived in this

region had a special way of turning everyday objects of survival and necessity into works of art. Through our workshops and wonderful instructors, we strive to keep these unique skills alive. Whether

crafted arrow points or just a better understanding of days gone by, we

learn and keep with you forever.A Traditional Art is a skill worth

preserving!To hold your place in a workshop,

pre-‐registration and payment is required. Please register early to ensure a

spot in the class!

January

Watercolor Painting -‐Landscapes Instructor: Barbara JerniganSaturday, January 11 = 9 am –

noonCost: $12 (plus supplies) or $20

(includes supplies) Min: 5 Max: openLearn and practice watercolor

techniques and style. Dress to take a short walk outdoors for photos and observations, weather permitting.

Watercolor Painting -‐Landscapes Instructor: Barbara Jernigan

Saturday, January 18 9 am – noonCost: $12 (plus supplies) or $20



Anyone Can Knit! -‐ Making a Scarf! Instructor: Amy GawthropSunday, January 19 1:30 pm –

4:00 pm Cost: $25.00 Min: 1 Max: 10You will learn to cast on, cast

off, knit and purl, left & right handed knitting, and how to pick up dropped stitches. Bring at least 2 skeins of worsted weight wool in a solid color (if you want a long scarf, you will need at least 3

a comfortable scarf; set of US#8 knitting needles (no longer than 10”), wood or plastic, straight or circular.

Inkle WeavingInstructor: Ronnie LailSaturday, January 25 9 am – noonCost: $50.00 includes loom (to

keep!) & all supplies Min: 3 Max: 8$20.00 thread only$10.00 instruction onlyLearn how to weave wide sashes,

narrow bands, and shoelaces on a loom that is light-‐weight and easy

to carry around! You can create wonderful patterns through varied placement of colorful thread. Bring scissors.

February

Raised Bed Gardening Instructor: Ben HunterSaturday February 1 10 am – 1

pmCost: No Charge – Registration is

NOT necessary for this session It’s not too early to be planning

& building your spring garden. Gardener extraordinaire, Ben Hunter, will be joining us to share his experiences & techniques for growing the garden of your dreams! Sponsored by the Northeast Tennessee Master Gardeners.

Watercolor Painting – Florals Instructor: Barbara JerniganSaturday, February 8 9 am –




Watercolor Painting – Florals Instructor: Barbara JerniganSaturday, February 15 9 am –




Anyone Can Knit! -‐ Making a Scarf Instructor: Amy GawthropSunday, February 16 1:30 pm – 4

pm

Sycamore Shoals State Historic Area

Traditional ArtsWinter Workshops 2014

Continued on page 13


Cost: $25 Min: 1 Max: 10You will learn to cast on, cast off, knit and

purl, left & right handed knitting, and how to pick up dropped stitches. Bring at least 2 skeins of worsted weight wool in a solid color (if you want a long scarf, you will need

a comfortable scarf; set of US#8 knitting needles (no longer than 10”), wood or plastic, straight or circular. Call the park to register.

Wool Dryer Balls Instructor: Jane DoanSaturday, February 22 9 am -‐ noonCost: $30 Min: 2 Max: 10Save energy, reduce waste, and protect

your family from chemicals by using environmentally friendly wool dryer balls. In our class we will Create 4-‐6 dryer balls from 100 % wool. Wool dryer balls are an all natural alternative to fabric softeners, and dryer sheets. Dryer balls also shorten drying time and remove wrinkles in the dryer. 100% safe for all laundry including cloth diapers. Bring an old towel.

March

Vegetable GardeningInstructor: Ben HunterSaturday March 1 10 am – 1 pmCost: No Charge – Registration is NOT

necessary for this sessionGardener extraordinaire, Ben Hunter,

will be joining us to share his experiences & techniques for growing the garden of your dreams! Sponsored by the Northeast Tennessee Master Gardeners.

Anyone Can Crochet! – Crocheting a ScarfInstructor: Amy GawthropSunday, March 2 1:30 pm – 4:00 pm Cost: $25 Min: 1 Max: 10You will learn all of the necessary

techniques to get you started in the art of crochet! Bring at least 2 skeins of worsted weight solid color yarn (if you want a long scarf, you will need at least 3 skeins) or any

bring a crochet hook – either size H, I, or J (5, 5.5, or 6 mm)

Mixed Media and Watercolor TechniquesInstructor: Barbara Jernigan

Saturday, March 8 9 am – noonCost: $12 (plus supplies) or $20 (includes

supplies) Min: 5 Max: openLearn and practice watercolor techniques

and style. Dress to take a short walk outdoors for photos and observations, weather permitting.

Spinning: Beyond the BasicsInstructor: Amy GawthropSunday, March 16 1:30 pm – 4 pm

st time students in this class) Min: 1 Max: 5 $15 for returning students If you are a brand new spinner, or have

been dabbling on the spinning wheel for some time; this class is for you! Bring your questions and join Amy for an afternoon of “All Things Spinning!”

Mixed Media and Watercolor TechniquesInstructor: Barbara JerniganSaturday, March 22 9 am – noonCost: $12 (plus supplies) or $20 (includes

supplies) Min: 5 Max: openLearn and practice watercolor techniques

and style. Dress to take a short walk outdoors for photos and observations, weather permitting.

Beginning Chair BottomingInstructor: Cathy BroylesSaturday, March 29 9am – 4pmCost: $30 plus cost of materials – reed &

string Min: 5 Max. 10(pay instructor at start of class for

materials)A great way to repair an old favorite or

brush up an antique! Find out how to weave the life back into your old cane furniture. Materials: chair to cane, bucket or dishpan

suitable for hot water, scissors, butter knife, 2 old towels. Class sizes are limited, so please register

early!To join one or more classes, you must

register in advance and pre-‐pay.Please call the park at (423) 543-‐5808 for

more informationIf you would like to receive updated

information throughout the year, please send your email address to [email protected] or check out www.sycamoreshoalstn.org

Continued from page 12


The top story of 2013 was actually the “non” story that the “Comet of the Century” turned out

of exciting space news that made

Like the discovery of earth-‐like planets around nearby stars; or the largest explosion ever seen in the Universe; or the asteroid that exploded over a Russian metropolis; and how about the Chinese putting a rover on the

The year 2014 was a huge one

for all things outer space, including the continuous occupation of the International Space Station; the

the middle of an ancient riverbed; and the durable Hubble Space Telescope watching geysers on Jupiter and Saturn moons. Other top stories included a giant

“hand wave” from the inhabitants of Earth to the Cassini spacecraft as it orbited in position to see the backside of Saturn and our pale, blue dot in the black sky. And you can’t forget the two-‐week

space mission in July 2013 by the two men and one woman on the Chinese space station Taingong-‐1 (“Heavenly Palace”) as they hone

Earth orbit, to the Moon and maybe Mars.The astronomy and popular

science journals and web sites were

comets that would knock our socks off in the pre-‐dawn skies. First was Comet PannSTARRS in March, and then was the prediction of “Comet of the Century” ISON, that was a guaranteed Christmas starry spectacle. Well, PannSTARRS never developed a naked eye tail, and when Comet ISON rounded the Sun on Thanksgiving Day, the one mile cosmic ice berg was ripped apart by its grazing blow of the blazing solar surface. Hundreds of pages of stories and millions of words of predictions were all for naught as two more comets joined those like Comet Kohoutek 1973. Comets Hyakutake in 1996 and Hale-‐Bopp in 1997 put on a much better sky show. News from Mars in 2013 came

from two rovers, Opportunity in its 9th year and Odyssey in its 2nd, as well as two orbiters, Mars Odyssey in its 10th year and Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter in its sixth productive year of documenting the geology and weather cycles of the Red Planet. All four NASA spacecraft, costing

more than $4 billion all together,

wet world like Earth, but very early in its 4.5 billion year history. And

Top Space Events Of 2013

Continued on page 15

Gamma Ray Burst 2013 artist’s conception


right minerals and atmosphere was available to support microbial life some 3 billion years ago.The 16-‐nation International

Space Station is always a topic of

in orbit for 15 years is amazing. But it has been the focus in 2013 of two space companies that have contracts to NASA to send unmanned supply missions. Space

missions with their Dragon space

successful mission of its Cygnus supply spaceship. More is to come

including a Space X manned mission within 5 years. In 2013, China made its mark

in Earth orbit and on the Moon, proving they are the nation to be reckoned with for technological supremacy in outer space. The manned Shenzhou spacecraft and space station modules look a lot

like Russian’s 40-‐year old Soyuz spaceship and the module MIR space station of the 1990s. That’s no coincidence, as Russia has been a technological partner with China as it develops its manned space program that might soon dominate America and Russia.In November 2013,

astronomers witnessed

theories, the brightest explosion in the Universe ever seen. Several orbiting space telescopes witnessed the burst of powerful gamma rays from a source in Leo, The energy was from a a hundred million Light Years away, which produced a jet of energy that traveled nearly at the speed of light and 10 times brighter than any of the thousand of gamma ray bursts witnessed in modern astronomy. The gamma ray bursts are high energy predicted to be associated with Black Holes perhaps colliding ones.

Also in 2013 astronomers seeking “exoplanets” orbiting

least 400 other worlds orbiting some 80 stars, and the number keeps growing. Even a few earth-‐size planets that may have water have been found. Indirect evidence of gravity tugs on parent stars and spectrographic analysis of chemistry tell us about exoplanets. Most stars seem to have planetary systems, so planets literally

outnumber all the stars in the sky!

is a continuing one since it was

unmanned spacecraft that is still functioning has reached beyond 16 billion miles away from Earth. It is headed toward the bright star Vega, where it might be seen 26 million years from now.

Continued from page 14Chinese Shenzhou 9 docks with

Tiangong 1 space station


Celestial events in the skies for the week of Jan. 7-‐13, 2014 as compiled for The Loafer by Mark D. Marquette.

The Moon is back as the major player in the night scene, becoming full phase, which Native Americans called the Wolf Moon, as they often heard the animal howling out of hunger on sparse January evenings. Looking east in the early evening hours, Orion the Hunter and his winter brood are leaping over the horizon. At midnight, the mighty hunter is directly south. Jupiter is in the middle of Gemini directly east at dark, and also overhead at midnight.

Tues. Jan. 7 On this night in 1610 from his backyard in Pisa, Italy, Galileo Galilee turned his primitive refractor telescope to Jupiter and saw three tiny stars aligned with its equator. He quickly realized these were moons, and they became known as Callisto, Europa and Io. Six days

later, he discovered the fourth huge moon, Ganymede.

Wed. Jan. 8 Happy 72nd birthday to physics genius Stephen Hawking, also the world’s longest living victim of ALS. He has taken Einstein’s theories and merged them with the new quantum physics to under-‐stand the incredible variables of Black Holes and

interactions of galaxy clusters.

Thurs. Jan. 9 The Big Dipper begins the night scrapping along the north horizon, but quickly rises eastward to stand on its three stars of its handle by midnight. Before dawn, the ladle is dumping its celestial

contents over the landscape.

Fri. Jan. 10 On this 1946 date in space history, the US Army

bounced a radar signal off the Moon, accurately measuring the distance to 238,560 miles on that day. Today, astro nerds around the world can bounce lasers off any of the six re-‐

Sat. Jan. 11

by two cosmonauts aboard Soyuz 26 on Dec. 10, 1977, for a three month stay. On this 1978 date, Soyuz 27 and two more cosmonauts docked at the opposite end of Salyut 6 and

stayed for 10 days.

Sun. Jan. 12 Jupiter is one beautiful sight all night long, from rising in the east to hanging above the western horizon at dawn. In binoculars, you might see the star-‐like images of the four

bright moons, and they are clearly obvious in any kind of telescope. Easy to see is the disk of Jupiter, slightly squashed at the poles with several visible dark bands around its girth.

Mon. Jan. 13 The Moon has moved into the late night sky so its

moonshine doesn’t hinder the beautiful sight of The Ple-‐iades, a small cluster of stars in the shoulder of Taurus the Bull. Located above Orion, they are six easy to see stars of The Pleiades, and one that is a challenge to those with keen eyesight. Put a pair of binoculars on this star cluster, and you’ll see dozens of these

young, related stars.


I often make confessions in this column, and I’m making another one. I just saw the 2004 release

“Ancorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy” in 2013. While that may be shocking

to some, I never had a sense of

due to the release of “Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues”. The previews for the new

for more zany antics from Ron Burgundy (Will Ferrell) and his cohorts. The paper thin plot is set in 1979

and the early 80’s, and involves the recruitment of Burgundy by an all new 24 hour news network.

is working at a Sea World park, and his wife Veronica (Christina

female news anchor. Due to Veronica’s promotion, she has split from a disillusioned Ron.

comes after Ron, he insists he will work on television again only if he

can have his fellow on-‐air team with him. Once again

Ron is reunited with sportscaster Champ Kind (David Koechner), challenged weatherman Brick Tamland (Steve Carell),

Brian Fantana (Paul Rudd). As the friends begin their new job, they are relegated to the 2am on-‐air shift. As if the overnight

shift isn’t bad enough for the newscasters, they are dealing with harsh boss Linda Jackson (Meagan Good), and polished anchor Jack Lime (James Marsden). Ron, in his usual

goofy way, deals with all the new issues in his life, both business and personal, and by the end of the movie is

back on top. The movie has all the familiarity

of the original, and is often over-‐the-‐top, but we shouldn’t expect anything else from the story-‐line. There are plenty of shocking

moments, but all in the “PG-‐13” vein. The actors are once again on

spot in their roles, and the new cast members, including Marsden, are welcome additions.“SaturdayNight Live” alum

Kristen Wiig is also a new addition to the series in the role of Chani, a

hapless secretary who falls in love

live action cartoon, with Ron as the lead buffoon. I waited until all the end credits

rolled to see if there was a bonus

bother, as it isn’t worth the wait.

the actors in “Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues”, we couldn’t have been treated to great bloopers. Alas, I suppose for the outtakes we must wait for the Blu Ray and DVD release. (Rated PG-‐13) B

Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues


To my friends, fans, and family. I’d like to take a moment and issue

an apology. I’m sure by now most of you know that in a recent interview in Modern Maturity, I made some controversial statements that made many people upset. I’d like to begin by reminded you of what I, foolishly, said. In the interview I stated: “I don’t see how anyone could enjoy the Xbox One or Playstation Four, when Nintendo’s Wii U is the clearly superior system.” The outrage was immediate and

immense. I lost half of my Twitter

followers, three to be exact, and many people were calling for my resignation. The sharpest repercussion that took place was my suspension from my hit YouTube Series, Squirrel Dallas, in which actors in squirrel costumes re-create scenes from the famous 1980s primetime soap opera Dallas (and I was playing J.R. too!). Amazingly , for as many people as were upset, as many were angry

that people were angry. There was a Facebook group called “Put Andy Back In The Squirrel Costume” and #SaveSquirrelDallas became a number one trending topic on Twitter. I was overwhelmed by the amount

“How dare you say Mario is better than Master Chief,” and people crying out “You’re not a real gamer!

Go to bed old man!” Would I call myself a serious gamer? No, not at all. I’m by no means perfect, and I’ve always been more of a casual gamer. Yet, I have realized that just because I enjoy the slower pace of a virtual console version of Super Castlevania, doesn’t

mean you can’t play your fancy Call of Duty game. To be honest, I’m

downright impressed by how gaming technology has advanced to some really amazingly realistic graphics. Yet, I will always have a special place in my heart for 8-bit and 16-bit games I spent so many happy days of my childhood playing. Still, what I said was stupid and pointless. What’s it matter which gaming system people enjoy? It’s stupid to get upset at each other over petty things like video games. You enjoy your Xbox, I like my Nintendo. No big whoop. So I am sorry, I’m sorry if

what I said caused you any pain, and I hope you can forgive me. I’d like for us all to move on as

quickly as possible, and I’d really like to return to Squirrel Dallas as well. We’re getting amped up to shoot out version of the famous “Who Shot J.R.?” sequence, and I really want to be the one to do it. Again, I am sorry for what I said,

and I hope that in this coming year we can move past it, and get along with each other better. I also wish to publicly state that upon my return to my web series, I will donate a

$20.00 an episode salary to charity. Thank you for your time today, and I hope I can get pretend shot in a squirrel costume on the internet soon. Best wishes,Andy Ross

I’d Like to Issue an Apology


Tuesday Night @ the Movies -‐ Jonesborough Library -‐ January 7th, 5:30 p.m.

We’re kicking off the New Year in style with our Tuesday Night @ the Movies on January 7 at 5:30 p.m. Come join us to watch an undisputed

masterpiece and perhaps Hollywood’s quintessential statement on love and romance.“Humphrey Bogart plays the allegedly

apolitical club owner in unoccupied French territory that is nevertheless crawling with Nazis; Ingrid Bergman is the lover who mysteriously deserted him in Paris; and Paul Heinreid is her heroic, slightly bewildered husband. Claude Rains, Sydney Greenstreet, Peter Lorre, and Conrad Veidt are among what may be the best supporting cast in the history of

the most spirited and ennobling movies ever made.” -‐-‐Tom Keogh Our show time features free popcorn

and drinks. Tuesday Night @ the Movies is a free event sponsored by the Friends of the Washington County Library. For more information, please call the Jonesborough Library at 753-‐1800.

Arts Array presents “Parkland”

The Arts Array Film Series presented by Virginia Highlands Community

presented at the Abingdon Cinemall on Mondays and Tuesdays at 4 p.m. and again at 7:30 pm. “Parkland” (January 13 and 14)Parkland weaves together the

perspectives of a handful of ordinary individuals suddenly thrust into extraordinary circumstances: the young doctors at Parkland Hospital; Dallas’ chief of the Secret Service; an unwitting cameraman; the FBI agents who nearly had the gunman within their grasp; the brother of Lee Harvey Oswald; and JFK’s security team, witnesses to both the president’s death

and Vice President Lyndon Johnson’s rise to power over a nation whose innocence was forever altered. The Arts Array Film Series is part of the comprehensive cultural outreach program of

Virginia Highlands Community College. The series is co-‐sponsored by the Abingdon Cinemall, the Southwest Virginia Higher Education Center, Emory& Henry College, Virginia Intermont College, and King University.

Members of the general community may attend for $7.75.For a brochure on the series or more information, please contact Tommy Bryant at 276-‐

739-‐2451 or email him at [email protected].

Special Movie Showings


for 2014 and the beginning of my

this esteemed weekly magazine.

fun. So, without further ado, let’s take a brief look at a matter of grave importance for many people

Year’s resolutions. I realize you might have already made yours for this year, but I believe it’s an unwritten rule that you have until January 15 to discard and revise your foolhardy plans and goals. Hopefully, this column will enable you to take another look at what generally amounts to a fruitless endeavor.Needless to say, there are Apps

designed to help you keep your resolutions. On the last day of last year, TimeTech writer Matt Peckham gave us a list of some of the more useful ones, prompted by a recent Harris poll of the ten

mundane and predictable list that included, of course, losing weight,

exercise, landing a better job, eating

management, quitting smoking, improving a relationship, not procrastinating, and setting aside time for ourselves. Even a cursory glance at this list should warn you that you are setting yourself up for failure if you choose even one of these hopeless resolutions. Based on this list, Peckham

advises us to download the following Apps that are designed to focus us on keeping our resolutions: Lose It! (yes, it’s a calorie tracker, no doubt designed to add much more stress to our lives); Mintthat works best when you have

Runmeter (why can’t we just run without

keeping track of the statistical and mostly meaningless hoopla that this kind of App introduces into our

Job Search (tied to a GPS program that shows

if it sounds too good to be true, it no doubt is); Fooducate (takes into account the “nutritional density

on while I calculate what’s in my Moon Pie); Breath2Relax (“focused on diaphragmatic breathing techniques” that will help us control

just reading about this way-‐too-‐trendy-‐sounding App); QuitStart (the obligatory stop smoking App, probably not designed for residents of Colorado); Facebook (why not consider getting a real

(no list is complete without some sort of time-‐wasting time management program); RunPee useful App, and one that I wrote

presents plot summaries, with timings, of movies so you will know when it’s safe to go pee without missing some really important

a movie theatre with no pause button).Now that we’ve examined how

Apps probably won’t help us keep our resolutions, here’s some December 30, 2013 advice from CNN Health writer Jacque Wilson on how we should consider some new angles on making New Year’s resolutions. First, Ms. Wilson advises that we “get some fresh air” by “being in nature.” Seems like I’ve heard this before, like back in 1973. The problem is that there is precious little of anything we can

we see and touch is a product of human design. Second, we should get more sleep, by just adding

each night. Sounds simple enough, unless you are only sleeping thirty minutes each night to begin with. This relates to the third recommendation that we “add something”

more minutes of sleep, more protein, more water, more classical music (didn’t we already try this with the fruitless “Mozart For Babies”

So, I won’t dwell on her advice to give up multitasking, taking deeper breaths, trying something new, and “being better.” How about focusing

ignoring all the aforementioned

Another pretty annoying development in the life-‐improvement, resolution-‐making game is a book published in December 2012 that has become the topic of way too many conversations and motivational meetings last year: ONE WORD THAT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE, by Jim Gordon, Dan Britton, and Jimmy Page (we can only hope this is the Led Zeppelin guitarist, but sadly it isn’t). According to these self-‐help gurus, you can improve your life by making a resolution to focus the next twelve months

that will make you a better person.

You’ll have to buy the book or

Hint: it’s probably a pretty obvious and vacuous one like “leadership,” “courage,” “strength,” and “love.”Now, it’s my turn. Don’t worry, I

won’t make you buy a book, install an App, or attend a workshop. First, here are some focus words that just might make the coming year an inspirational one for you: Harpo (yes, Harpo Marx, a true inspiration for living your life in the most outrageous and zany way possible); Skepticism (we need a lot of this to survive in the modern world); Anarchy (see Harpo); Indolence; Calm; Piano (my favorite focus word that keeps me grounded); Jazz (see Piano); Less (the opposite of More, in case you need to be reminded); Learn; and Think.Next, I know you are dying

to know what my New Year’s

resolution is. Well, it’s the same one I’ve made, and kept, for the

watching the movie “The Sound of Music.” I have nothing against this movie. It’s just that I’ve never seen it, and decided it would be an easy resolution to keep. And every year, on December 31, I am overcome with a tremendous sense of accomplishment that I was able to keep it once

again. And I don’t need an App for that. So, make your resolutions very practical and doable. Some suggestions: I will not drive my car backwards to Florida; I will not eat chocolate-‐covered ants; I will not try to move an immoveable object; I will not put up any Christmas decorations in August; and, perhaps easiest of all, I will not make New Year’s resolutions.So, with renewed resolve to

not watch “The Sound Of Music” (both the Julie Andrews and Carrie Underwood versions), I will bring this column to a close. I hope you have found something useful here, and I appreciate your taking time to read what I’ve written. As always, I am grateful for the opportunity of sharing my thoughts with you each week, and I welcome any suggestions you might have.Until next week . . . . .

A Few Words About Resolutions

The Loafer - Jan. 7, 2014

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