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STAFF WRITER Professor Go Go Jones

SWEET SPOT TRAPS THE BEAR (CLIFTON, NJ) – It has been quite a ride for the Newark

Bears who finished as the No. 13 Seed in 2015. Two key

acquisitions by Captain Thomas Kopec who recruited

Shelby Rex Smith and Michael Kennedy, a strong

prospect for Rookie of the Year, made an overwhelming

difference for the Bears. These two first-year Bear

recruits led the team in points: Mr. Shelby Smith had

29.75 and MK hauled in 24, which provided a two-man

total of 53.75 points, and jettisoned the Bears to the 7

seed, and a Wild Card win. Those two warriors

represented 32.5 % of the Bears 165 points this season.

In 2015, the Bears only accumulated a sparse total of 94

points. Looking back, the acquisition of Shelby Rex

Smith by the Bears in 2016 amounted to the best

recruited player of the entire season.

Last week Captain Thomas “Chop-Chop” Kopec and his

superb Rookie, MK, took down The Machine, and the

Pit Bull, as both matches went to the wire and ended on

No. 18. The Bear’s Tuxedo Bob, who had a whale of a

season, was paired with Michael Kochka (.800 Kill

Ratio), and they destroyed DSR’s two-player-team

closing the hatch on No. 15, 4 & 3, as the Bears

terminated DSR from the Post Season Dance, 3-2.

As the highest seed to advance at No. 7 from the Wild

Card Round, the Bears now face the defending World

Champions and the No. 2 Seeded Sweet Spotter’s in the

Quarter Finals at Sea Oaks. Jeremy Pineda’s Sweet Spot

has taken the torch from NUNI as the league’s newest

dynasty, with World Championship wins at Atlantic City

in 2013 and 2015. Unlike the audacious Swagger of

NUNI in their early days, Sweet Spot’s team has that

corporate feel. They don’t get too overly excited, aside

from their Country Boy, and they exude a low profile

approach, that just simply gets the job done. When the

pressure get’s heavy, Professor Go-Go always goes with

experience, and that all points towards a Sweet Spot

victory at the Oaks over the Bears.

There is a Grudge Match of the Week brewing, a blood

match of sorts, with Shelby Rex facing the Mighty Horse

of Sweet Spot, an old teammate. These two went head-

to-head at Twisted Dune, and Rex knocked out The

Mighty Horse. Horse and Smooth both got whipped in

individual matches at Twisted, as Captain Kopec down 4

at one point, closed out good old Mr. Smoothie. Nobody

recalls seeing The Horse or Mr. Smooth after play that

afternoon, and that sparked claims that this was a good

ole’ fashion “Parking Lot Beating”. A parking lot

beating is defined in GMA terminology as beating your

opponent so bad, he bee lines from the 18th green to the

trunk of his car, to avoid the misery of defeat. At

Twisted, Shelby Rex will be pumped up with Rocket

Fuel again, and focused to slay the Horse, and getting 5

blows at Sea Oaks I see another win for Rex, in a hard

fought battle that will go to the wire and could end as a

draw. It is very tough to beat the same foe back-to-back.

Of all these matches between these two teams, I am most

confident selecting Rock N’ Roll Pete Barba to defeat

Captain Kopec, and was very surprised Mr. Pete is only

giving Thomas two shots. Mr. K needs 4 or 5 shots to

beat this 3-time, Rock N’ Roll Low Gross Champion.

N.K. Rangan AKA “Mr. Big Balls” with all that game

and experience will defeat the Newark Bear’s Super

Rookie, Michael Kennedy. I give the edge to Scooter

Mandato with 12 blows against Captain Jeremy Smooth

Pineda. And this will all boil down to the team play.

Sgt. Major and Kenny “The Country Boy” Carlson will

find a way to defeat Tuxedo Bob and the Stetz-An-Ator,

and the party will be over for the Bears as Sweet will

advance, and send the Newark Hoods into their winter

slumber.

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A BAD MOON RISING

This is being billed as The Battle of the Titans. We

have two Powerhouse Teams that are stacked with

depth, talent, and post season experience, and both

teams posted the best Overall Team Kill Ratio’s of

entire Post Season Roster. At this point in the road,

Match Kills is all that matters. Professor Go-Go

Jones views these two teams as the strongest of the

6 Quarter Finalists. The Moonshiner’s have the

deepest talent that the Professor ever recalls seeing

on a particular team, and if the format called for 11

pointing players in the Post Season they would be

big-time heavy favorites. There just is no weak link

on William Bad Ass LaRiccia’s Moons.

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Shoeless Jim & Bad Ass

GMA Oddsmaker’s figure Bad Ass William the

Plumber will flush Kevin “The Pipefitter”

McCormick, who lost his rhythm while vacationing

with his wife in Italy, late in the season. In 2015 the

Irishman, with the deep course baritone voice,

suited up for the Moons, and this year Bad Ass

dreams of settling a score with this Turncoat, who

strayed to the dark side joining The Evil Empire.

The hottest player on the GMA Tour, Iron Dan

Mulville will get 9 blows and will “Jail-the-Judge”

and Red Baron “Bull Shark” Ryan Melone will find

a way to defeat Walter Bearse. There you go…two

of the three individual wins for the Bad Ass Moons

will be tough and tight matches, and the NUNI

season draws to an abrupt halt. Steve Litt should

win against Mr. Bradford Bednarz and the NUNI

team squad match, featuring a 9-Hole Mayor &

Chairman Arthur Moller versus Billy Gee & Leo

the Lion, will be rather meaningless, since the

damage will have already been done. When the dust

settles at Sea Oaks, there will be no boisterous

chanting of N-U-N-I, NUNI, NUNI, NUNI!!!

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SLICER NATION SETTLES THE SCORE

At Royce Brook last Saturday, Slicer Nation and

Griner’s Heroes were tied after Regulation Play,

and on the first hole of Sudden Death Thomas “Too

Tall” Redburn of Slicer Nation drained a 35-footer

for the overall match victory. Bobby Magic Long

and Bishop Matarazzo, of Griner’s, waiting to putt

from 8-feet, and 12-feet respectively, and certainly

anticipating a second hole of sudden death, were

somewhat stunned, for as when that ball clunked in

the hole, they were toast. It was Déjà vu for

Griner’s as 3 years ago at ACCC in October of

2013, NK Rangan, Mister Big Balls as the legend

goes, of Sweet, iced the Griner’s Italian Army with

a 40-footer on 18.

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Last year, Doomsday and Slicer Nation went to

Sudden Death in the Semi-Finals at Atantic City

Country Club. Last October 24th

, Doomsday’s team

squad of Douglas “The 6-Iron Slayer” Barber and

Marcus “Dapper” Moore won in overtime over

Commando and Haggy Hagiwara. Rumors have

circulated that following that sudden death playoff

there were some “over-the-top-celebration” that

resulted in salting-the-wounds of Slicer Nation. We

now have a situation where Rocket Fuel enters the

picture. Professor Go-Go Jones has learned over the

years that there is never anything more important in

winning than two factors: 1. Being loose and

enjoying the moment, and fearless of the outcome.

2. Having Rocket Fuel. Slicer Nation as a whole has

a settle to score, and the rocket fuel edge.

WTF??? Douglas “The 6-Iron Slayer” Barber is not

even Live at Sea Oaks. WOW that comes as a

surprise, for he was the most feared player of last

year’s Post Season. Mr. Barber was instructed by

The General to using his 6-iron off the tee, and kept

the ball in play with 20 plus blows. General Danks

claimed “Dougie has been struggling of late, and we

buy it.” The General certainly knows what he is

doing, and without question General Danks, Hawk

Rosen and Jeremy Smooth are probably the most

effective Captains in this league. If I had to pick the

best Captain of the Year, Joshua “The Hawk”

Rosen is it, and he has done a phenomenal job.

Jeffrey The Happy Hooker is a Cowboy Warrior

indeed but giving Tommy Acton 5 blows, I just

have to take TA and the strokes. Admiral Geddes

and Dapper Moore is a very tough call, but I lean

towards Admiral John Geddes with finding a way to

win against a very difficult foe. Randy “The Mad

Dog” Halat will take down Hallway Vasta, and you

got to bet on the General with 3 blows against

Benny Oh. There you go, 2 and 2 even Steven, in

“Individual Matches” and all riding on the outcome

of the team play.

We could have another Sudden Death Playoff, and

it certainly will be another very tight battle, as team

matches will decide the fate. I like the Doomsday

Cowboy’s team squad with Richie Corsetto AKA

Johnnie Walker, who will be loose and relaxed, and

this kid as no fear on the golf course, making him

unique and dangerous. In addition, Walker’s fellow

Cowboy, Peter “The Original Red Baron” Rojek,

the All-Time GMA Tour Net Winner, has been

playing very well this year after recovering from

last year’s injuries. However, Thomas Too Tall and

Johnnie “The Undertaker” Melucci, another loose

and very dangerous player, will be too much for JW

and Baron von Rojek to handle. They will be

knocked out on the 17th

green. Like the Desert Fox

in World War II, the Doomsday War Machine will

be stopped at Sea Oaks, and Slicer Nation will

enjoy the bitter sweetness of revenge.