SqueakyCleanLegacy,16.3:RomanesIteDomumPartI

“PeoplecalledRomans,theygothehouse?”Confused,Flavius?“Well,yeah.SincewegottoWeintnasaelp,youhaven’tshownus.Infact,youhaven’tplayedus.AndIsCllsayitwasthefluxcapacitor.You’dthinkthereweren’tanyRomanshereanymore.”Idon’tknowwhatyou’recomplainingabout.

AJerall,yougotyourRomanmegavilla.

“Noatrium.”

There’sanenCreRomansecConoftownnow,infact.

TherearelotsofsimselveswhohavemarriedRomanboys....***Penguingirl,Penguino Legacy,asanelder.

...AllbusilyaddingtheirportraitstotheRomanlegacyhouse...***Orikes,Pseudo Legacy.

LivinginaveryRomanhouseindeed.“Nastytoplay,though.”Ofcourseitis.Idesigneditinmyownspecialphailballway.

SCll,it’sopen,airy...

AndithastonsofmosaicsbyRMSchoon.It’sasRomanasyouwanttobe.

MyfoundressRosiewasevenwelcomedtotheneighborhoodbyaconCngentofRomans,whichshecertainlywasn’tlastCme.

SCll,therewereacertainnumberofSNAFUs,nottheleastofwhichwasthatmysonCassiusendedupasateenager,andhissonasatoddler,whichputsacrimpinthings.

Especiallyforacertainsimself.“Getitfixed,Prof,andImeanNOW.”***De/Fireflower314,Morgan Legacy,whohasbeenhappily(?)marriedtoCassiussince2007.

Meanwhile,Cassiushasbigplans,whichhe’sconfidingtoAndreaHogan.AllthePleasantviewfemaletowniesarenowmale,andviceversa.Don’task.

ButFlaviusisright,andit’sCmetofocusontheRomansforahugeRomanweddingpalooza.Infact,it’ssohugethatIhadtocutitintotwoparts.

Obviously,thefirstplacetostartiswithamajorsimselfwedding.PurpleBunny,Pira1cal Legacy,isthemostrecentsimselftoagreetomarryaMariusboy.Thisisadubiousundertakingbutputsheringoodcompany.

It’salsoanicechancetoshowcasesomenewweddingCCfromEris3000atMTS2.WhenyouthrowasmanyweddingsasIdo,youwanttobreakupthemonotonyabit.

AndsoPurpleBunnySarahmarriesSextusMarius,Orikes’sonandPenguingirl’sgrandson.That’sDecimus,Pen’shusbandandanotherdimwicedMariusPopSim.

You’llalsonoCceafairnumberofsimselvesinthemix,includingsomenewonesandsomewhohaven’tbeenheardfrominawhile.

Marcus:Hey.Noseats?

IhavetoadmitthatMarcusisoneofmyfavoritegrandkids.Asagrownup,he’sagayPopsim,marriedtotheredheadedguyfromSimState’ssecretsociety.Asachild,he’ssqueeze‐his‐cheeksadorable.Buthe’sobviouslyaMarius:futurePopanddimwiced.

WriterTina:InoCceYOUdidn’tmakeitoutthere,either.Don’tgivemeanylip,Cassius,I’veneverbeenoneofyourfans.

Well,well,well.Lookwhoshowedupextremelylate:Flavius,followedbyEddieBuccaneer,myspiritualadvisorandtheHighPriestofCat.

Flavius:Noseats?

EnCrecongregaCon:SUCHadork.

“Suchadork,ANDit’sraining.”

Thisdoesn’tstopgeneralsimselfsocializing.Penguingirl:Areyouseclinginwell?Dicreasy:Yes,butdoesbeingasimselfheremeanyouhavetogetold?Onlyifyoumarryin,andnotalwaysthen.DocNerd:Huh,Sextusjustgotmarried.Probablycan’tflirtwithhim,then.***DicreasywritestheVictorian Legacy;DocNerdwritestheVe1nari Dualegacy.

Candi:Eddie,longCmenosee,LOVEthedress.Well,atleastI’mnotgoingtohavetohearwhatevershe’ssayingaboutballs.***CandiistheauthoroftheUglacyandthePrecacyandiscurrentlywriCngtheChili Catastrophe.

Meanwhile,OtherPBhasmadeherwaytowardsthecake,likeasensibleSimself.Andwhynot?Youdon’tknowhowIsufferedforthatcake,OtherPB.

Letusknowhowitis,hmm?

Stacilee:Mm.Looksgood.De:Iwantacloseup.Noway,De.ThisiswhereIlearnedaboutwhathappenswhenyoumixLyranskinswithcertainAll‐About‐Stylemeshes.Cassius:Aw,Ma,you’renofun.***StacileewritestheWhedonberry Legacy.

Decimus:Soyou’renotmarriedbecausehe’ssCllateenager?Isthatwhyyou’rerunningaroundwiththegoodiesalmostondisplay?Aren’tyouworriedaboutwherethatcakemightwindup?De:(jabsatcake)

Candi:Hmm.  Flavius s1ll as big of a dork as ever.  Eddie looking scrumlicious in a grass skirt.  Maybe I can. . .Sinceyou’rebothtownies,noyoucan’t.AndEddieisimmortal.BeingaHighPriestofCatoughttobeworthsomething.

Cassius:Psst.De.DE.Turnaround.Stacilee:Geez,Cassius,couldyouBEanymoreimmature?Cassius:I’mateenageboyandaRomanceSimwithit;whaddyawant?

I’mgoingtostandrightinfrontofyou,De.Believeme,I’mdoingeveryoneafavor,includingyou.

AFTERthewedding.IstartedSextusasateenagerandIactuallyforgottogetthemtheirfirstkissunClaJertheyweremarried.Oops.

TerCus:That’saliclepuritanicalevenforyou,I‐don’t‐remember‐how‐many‐Cmes‐Great‐Grandma.ISAIDOops!

TheAlmightyRobinoli,ofIt’s a Legacy Darling!fame,stopsby,onceagainprovingthatwhenyoudon’tplaythegame,itplaysyou.Sextus:Yeah,wesecledinprecywell.Otherwise,no,nothing’snew.Why?

Areyousure?

Itoldyousomethingelsewasgoingon.LookslikethenextMarianheirisonhisway.Unlessheisagirl.

Thegoodthingaboutthisnewopenplanisthatitleaveslotsofroomforeveryonetopanic,thoughperhapsthetrésmodernstovehooddoesn’tfitwiththedecor.

Gotitinone,OtherPB!OneRomanboy.OneRomanboywithPenguingirl’scustomSparklingBlueeyes.We’rerunningshortonnumbernames,solet’scallhimDuodecimus(NumberTwelve.)There’snoparCcularlogictothenumbersanymore,asIreCrepreviouslyusednumbers,muchlikefootballjerseys.SosincetherehasalreadybeenaSecundus,aTerCus,aQuintus,aSextus,aSepCmus,anOctavius,andaDecimus,Ifiguredwemightaswelljumptotwelve.

Duodecimus:Great‐GrandpaisaPopularitySim.

Notthatthere’sanythingwrongwiththat.

“Hurray,it’sababy!”

Sextus:Well,Cmetotakeoutthetrash.Robinoli:Isn’tanyonegoingtothankmeforarrangingthis?NotunClyouexplainwhatyou’redoinginabathingsuit,no.

Regrecably,youwillseeagooddealofthis.IamplayingsoslowlythatifIdonotstartdoingsomeagecheatswiththekids,Iwillnever,ever,reachGeneraConTen.Besides,I’msureyouwanttoseewhathelookslike.

Mommy’snose,perhaps,andSextus’MirrorBlueeyes,plusareasonablepersonality:Aries,5/10/8/8/4.IfhewindsupbeinganotherMariusPopSim,atleasthehasthepersonalitytobeagoodPopSim.

OtherPB:I’mexhausted.Seriously,I’masleeponmyfeethere.

JustoneCckleforthecameras?

Orikes:Nicework.PurpleBunny:YouCOULDoffertotakethebaby,Grandma.I’mnotselfish.I’mwillingtoshare.PleasureSimselves:youhavetoadmiretheirfocus.

Luckily,Sextusismorethanwillingtobethegooddaddy,ashedoesn’thaveajob,andOtherPBwasn’tkiddingwhenshesaidshewasasleeponherfeet.

D’aw,isn’thecute?Remember,thisfamilytreestartedwithCassius.IthinkwithalltheSimselves,includingDe,Denise,Pen,Orikes,andPurpleBunny,they’regepngcuteralltheCme./disgusCngflacery

Why,whatisthismysteriouscommunitylot?LetusvisititagaininthedayCme.

Itappearstobesomesortofweddingemporium.

Mysteriousproprietor:Alors,youhaverenderedmeunidenCfiable,non?No.MP:AlwaysIamtheownerofthisShuffleOffWeddingPalazzo.Idonotknowwhyisthis.

DeandRubyblue:Becauseit’sfuuuuunnn!Rubyblue,Ithoughtyou’dbeathomewithLycon.Strictlyspeaking,you’renotaRoman.Rubyblue:ButI’maSimself.AndIwantedtodance!***RubyBlueistheauthorofGoldilocks and the Nine Heirs,butshealsomarriedaveryimportantGeneraConSixspare.Sincehe’stheofficialhistorian,theyarelikelytobearoundforever.ThiswasnotsolvingthedifficulCesofCassiusandDe’sagewarp.Infact,therewerequitealotofRomanboyswhowereteenagers.Andsotherewasonlyonethingtodo.

Sendthemtocollege.Nowyouknowonereasonthisupdatehastakentwomonths.IhadtoplayseveralRomanboysatleastpartwaythroughcollege.Firstorderofbusinesswastogetthemenrolled,withadecentGPA.Then...

SeconditemontheagendawastogetCassiustogetherwithDe.Thefollowingpicturesareforyourdisbelievingpleasure.1)DeisactuallyCassius’FirstKiss.Sincehestartedasateen,thereisnoMysterySimstuffhere.Cometothinkofit,thisishowtheystartedoffintheCassiusMariusBC.

D’aw.

De:Why,Cassius,thisissosudden!

De:Nowwhichfingerdoesitgoonagain?

Cassius:Ah,justputthedangthingonalready.

Catchthat?Heactually*rolledthewant*toGetEngaged.Thiswasn’taboutuppingtherelaConshipscore,astheywerealreadyat100/100,orclose.IamsogladIwasn’tdrinkinganythingattheCme,ormykeyboardwouldhaveshortedoutfromthespit‐take.

De:Aw,Cassius.Youmotherjustisn’tveryromanCc,isshe?

Cassius:Gotthatright.

Anyway,Deseemspleasedaboutthewaythingsworkedout,sonowit’sCmetosecletheotherboys.

ThereareafewotherRomanshere:theloneCaesarisTitus,whileAlgernonandCassidyareanotherbranchoftheMariusfamily.CassidywasoriginallyaVeCnari,butowingtoCypressVeCnari’slegendaryabusiveparenCngskills,CasswastakenawaybytheSocialWorkerandadoptedbyAlgernon’sfatherEarnest.Inmyoriginalneighborhood,TituswoundupwithMeadowThayerandAlgernonwithared‐headeddormienamedMadeleine,butIthoughtitwouldbeinteresCngtotrytheMatchmakerandseewhateverybodygot.

No,wearenotgoingthere.

Matchmaker:Youlike?Titus:I,um...Noyoudonotlike,becauseDocNerdseemstohavedibsiesonhalftheKnowledgeSimsinthistown.WearenotaddingFamilySimstothemix.

Cassidy’sfirstMatchmakerDropwasKnutAliotofromTakemizu.IhategepngBVNPCs.YoucanonlyinvitethemoverforthreedaysataCme.It’slikesomehorribleinternetmeetup:“Gosh,yousurearebalderthanyourpicture!”andthentheywon’tgohome.SecondCmelucky,Cassidy.

SecondCmeVERYlucky.Yes,IsuccumbedtothevirusknowntofansofDocNerd’sVeCnariLegacyas“Cassbert”:hookingupCassidyVeCnariwithGilbertJacquet.Whichiscurious,asthatisnotVeCnaricanon,oratleastitisn’tyet.

Itdidn’ttakelongforAlgernontotrackdowntheMadeleine‐equivalent,andsincethey’rebothFamilyandhavethreebolts,andshe’sprecymuchthesamegirl,theygotalonglikeavillaonfire.

Tituswastrickier.ImenConedthathewasoriginallywithMeadowThayer,butofcoursethereisnoMeadowThayerinWeivtnasaelp.Thereis,sortof,butshe’sateenagedboynamedMedwyn.SoIhadtocreateanextractedadultMeadowforhim.

They’realsobothFamilySims.Prematurecommitmentahoy!

WhatfollowedwasadisgusCnglysweetFamilySimcourtshipinparallel.

Couldn’thavebeeneasierwithAlgernonandMadeleine.Theyrolledallthesamewants,simultaneously,likeclockwork,justthewaytheydidthefirstCme.

Meadow—maybenotsomuch.She’sFamily,kindof,butsherollsoddlyRomanceorPoptypewants,like“MeetSomeoneNew.”IlikeOtherPB’srevised,moreinteresCngMeadow,butIseewhereClosetRomanceSkankMeadowwritersgetitfrom.

Anyway,Titusrolledthewant,andshewashappyenough,evenifshedidn’t,soshe’sthenextMrs.Caesar.

De:IfIleavealotofexpensiveClassical‐lookingdategiJs,willthatspeedupthewedding?

OK,OK,sheesh.RomanweddingpaloozainRomanesIteDomum,PartII,comingsoon!