The Squeaky Clean Legacy

Chapter 16:2: The Stork arrives—and keeps arriving

When we last left the Squeaky Clean Legacy, our eighth generation heiress, Penelope Goodytwoshoes, and her husband Dinadan Locks, had just begun married life in the Legacy House, and I had just begun migrating the legacy to LiveJournal. All of us were expecting an influx of adorable Generation Nine babies.

And that’s what we try to do around here—provide our readers with the very finest in cute, and give them estrogen poisoning.(The heart-shaped fishpond is an innovation from the rebuild. I am quietly proud.)

The Goodytwoshoes are still settling in, and meeting their neighbors, though gender-reversed Pleasantview takes some getting used to.Killick: I don’t care what you does to yourself, you still looks like a (*&*^*&^&in’ Mary Sue to me.

Dinadan has easily fallen into the role of Squeaky Clean husband. He acquired the most recent cats, Taffy and Smores, and began training them.

He’s also working away at the required toymaking badge.

But the cats are his favorite duty, to the extent that this has become his family portrait.

All of these activities seem more appropriate than Dinadan’s actual job.

The extended family and friends all gathered to celebrate Jack and Sophia’s double birthday. You’ll notice that Penelope’s brother Ulysses hasn’t been able to set the vampire thing aside for the day.

Letting Jack get old goes against the grain, but I think he’ll be as good at being an elder as he is at everything else.

On the other hand, he’s turned into a disco fashion victim, while Sophia seems unreasonably enthusiastic about the whole thing.

Sophia even grew up into decent-looking clothes.

She looks very nice, I think.

What the heck is this? Three way dancing with the Terror Twins?Lucy: We’ve had a lot of victims—Carmilla: But Ulysses was our first.Ulysses: And we’ll always have a special kind of bond.

Jack started training Taffy again for the second time. You’d think this would be annoying, but actually I’ve been having the usual trouble avoiding swarming the adorable kitties.

Penelope reached the top of the Journalism career shortly after getting married.

Which was a good thing, as she and Dinadan presented me with a baby right away! What are you calling him, Penelope?Penelope: Gawaine.Gawaine. So he’s a boy. Oh.

In real life, the dialogue that accompanies this is “Isn’t he beautiful?” In the Sims, it is “Here. Hold this.”

A little genetic variety, anyhow—a kid with Dinadan’s dark blue eyes and S3 skintone! And you’re naming the baby?Penelope: Parsifal.

Twin boys. Twin BOYS. Thanks a LOT, guys. All I need is a girl to get us into Generation Nine. It’s a good thing I like you.

“I want a hug.”It’s a good thing Smores isn’t so fussy about the baby.

And not everyone can have a baby as cute as Nausicaa. Ulysses and uncle Achilles are taking good care of this little alien girl.

Strictly speaking, this slide isn’t necessary, except that it’s a last chance to appreciate Nausicaa’s cuteness as a baby.

The birthday party guests included the Terror Twins, Ulysses’ grim cousin Max (aka “Doctor Death”), and Doc Nerd, who designed Ulysses’ house and evidently kept one of the keys.

Nausicaa decided to Ask Lucy For Attention and evidently she wasn’t wrong about that.

This is one cute kid.

It says volumes about Ulysses’ taste in aliens, doesn’t it?

Like any Knowledge Sim parent, Ulysses wanted to Train Nausicaa in her toddler skills, but that’s tricky for a vampire. You’ll notice the blue sky showing through in the background. He just finished teaching her how to walk, dropped her in a hurry, and raced for his coffin, while Achilles put her to bed, because that is what uncle Achilles is for.

Vampires also have a tough time climbing the career ladder, but Lucy is determined to do it.

Her mother Jane is a werewolf, but she’s also a Popularity Sim who is not going to pass up the opportunity to Meet Someone New.Jane: Would your name be Bella, by any chance?Neighbor lady: No, I used to know a Bella very, very well, but my name is Donna. Hey, Bella Donna! I never thought of that.

You shouldn’t be surprised to meet Donna Lothario, when you’ve also got Dane Bertino and Linus Hanby. . .

And Murray Mazza the pizza guy, who happens to be one of Carmilla’s favorite dates.

Looks like one of Carmilla’s previous dates is showing its effects.

Luckily, Murray doesn’t care and happily leaves a token of his appreciation.

Carmilla let Murray get away without Lucy juicing him because she really likes him. Eric the gardener will not be so lucky.

Eric’s getting plenty of fun out of it. PLENTY of fun, as Carmilla’s LTW is WooHoo twenty Sims. I don’t know if she’s going to make it, but why not try, right?

Carmilla: I done good, Lucy?Lucy: Yes, Milly. You done good.

Lucy: Look into my eyes. Tell me what you see.Eric the Gardener: How cute! I see two little pictures of me.

Lucy: Bleh.Eric: Bleh.Lucy: No, no, no. BL-E-eeeh. Accent on the penultimate syllable.

I don’t think Eric has any complaints, but now we’ll have to get a new gardener. That’s one reason not to juice too many NPCs. Vamped NPCs have to be replaced. I’m still waiting to see if Vamped! Professor Rorschach can switch to a nighttime class schedule.

Whuups. I think you should call the daddy, don’t you, Carmilla?Carmilla: I don’t think Lucy would like that.I think it’s only polite.

Carmilla: Hi! Would you like to come over? What for? Um . . . Because you’re cute?

Stanley: When did they get a pinball machine?

Stanley: Flattery will get you everywhere. What’s with the. . .

Stanley: Oh.

Stanley’s a gentleman. The first thing he does is to give Carmilla a backrub.

He’s also polite enough not to ask if the baby is his. Of course it is. He’s smart enough to know Carmilla has a lot of other boyfriends, but he also knows she wouldn’t lie to him about something like that.

Stanley: Um. . . Miss Midlock. . . Carmilla. . .under the circumstances, I feel I ought to ask you to become my wife.. . .that came out wrong.

Stanley: Carmilla, ever since I was dropped from the wishing well, I have been unable to imagine life without you, and I beg that you will do me the honor of marrying—Carmilla: Have I got eyesnot?

Carmilla: Nope!Stanley: You’re not taking this seriously.Carmilla: Well, I don’t think I want to get married. You’re really nice for asking me, but. . . I think I really don’t want to, ok?

Stanley: I really do love you, you know.Carmilla: Aw, I know, but that doesn’t mean you have to marry me, silly! Maybe you can ask Lucy and see what she says. I don’t care if she doesn’t.Stanley: Your sister. When can I speak to her?

Carmilla: Lucy doesn’t get up until sunset, and now that you’re here. . . since we love each other and all.Stanley did not need a further hint.

And since there were still hours to go till sunset, there was time for a fun-filled family dinner.

Jane: Look, Stanley, I don’t know what bug you’ve got up your butt, but you don’t have to marry Carmilla, all right? No means no.Lady werewolves are direct.

Stanley: So I’m not good enough for your daughter, Mr. Midlock? Is that what you’re saying?Appius: No! No, I’m not saying anything. You just take this family as it comes. I was a fun-loving Roman boy Romancer and look at me now. You’ll have to talk to Lucy.

Because frankly, Lucy’s is the only vote that counts.Lucy: What’s everyone all cranked up about?Spacely: Golly, Miss Lucy, I surely oh-dohdilly don’t know.Lucy: Any ideas?Spacely: Nope. No. . . I’m saying nope.

Lucy: What? You can’t be serious. Milly doesn’t want to get married.

Lucy: You want a party? Is that what you’re saying? Because I’ve been to a lot of weddings lately, Stan, and I like cake as much as the next girl, but if you want a nice party it’s cheaper just to buy yourself a size X-Large white dress.

Stanley: Carmilla is having a baby. I am that baby’s father. It is wrong for a baby not to have a name and a family. I am not a heartless cad, and I will not abandon Carmilla and the child.

Lucy: What the hell? What century did you come from?Stanley: The nineteenth, actually.Lucy: Listen, peabrain, we don’t send girls off to Homes for Reckless Women around here. The baby’s going to have a name and a family. Ours and ours. Get it? We WANT a baby. What we don’t want is husbands. What we don’t want is you.

Stanley: I am sorry you feel this way, Miss Midlock, but no child of mine will grow up without me. If Carmilla will not marry me, I insist on being able to visit and help raise the child.Lucy: . . . Oh, all right.

Stanley: Your sister is very strange.Carmilla: Aw, Stanley. Come here, pudding. You can come over and play with the baby whenever you want.

Carmilla: As long as you call first.. . . No, I’m sorry, honey. Now isn’t a good time.

No, it probably isn’t an optimal time for dates.

But Stanley is just in time to panic with the rest of the family as little Lenore is born.

See? Eric the Gardener must have enjoyed being vamped, or he wouldn’t have left stereophonic equipment.

I admit it. I rushed things a bit. I wanted to see what Lenore looked like.

Verdict: She looks like Stanley, AND cute. She’s definitely got his eyes and his jawline.

The stork also arrived at Lytton’s house. His daughter Victoria presented him with his first grandchild, Albert.

And since Victoria and her husband Adrian are both extremely Outgoing Popularity Sims, it would have been unthinkable not to throw little Albert a birthday party.

This is one of those times when I regret the necessity for a rebuild. Back in the old neighborhood, Victoria had a recessive gene for red hair. But now she is homozygous brown, and . . . oh, well, Albert, I guess you are cute anyway.

Barrett and Heather single-handedly bring up any party score.

Though I think they ought to plan on staying home a bit more, since the stork made another delivery at their house.

Owing to the rebuild, Barrett also didn’t get one of his fathers’ recessive genes, so little Bunthorne also has brown hair and brown eyes. Nevertheless, I am sure he will inherit the family’s tendency to aestheticism and just plain posing.

Back at the Legacy House, it was time for the twins’ birthdays.

Gawaine: I am the eldest. I hope that’s clear.

Gawaine looks a lot like Penelope, but with his daddy’s black hair. He’s also a mean little guy: a Gemini, 6/9/9/6/2.

And Parsifal looks very, very much like Dinadan. His personality is very much like Dinadan’s, too. He is a Cancer: 6/2/9/6/6. Parsifal also takes his responsibility as a twin very seriously, since he decided to grow up in a matching tuxedo.

You can really see Gawaine’s resemblance to Penelope a lot better here.

And Parsifal seems fairly adorable. I said seems. Because despite the shyness and the niceness, there are some drawbacks to this kid.

For one thing, Parsifal glowed. I hate the glow glitch. There’s nothing you can do about it except wait for the kid to grow up, and meanwhile, you haven’t got any nice toddler pictures.

Which forces you to get creative. If you have someone Change the little rugrat Into Everyday (or PJs), there is a nanosecond during which the kid does not glow. Seize the opportunity.

You can also zoom way, way in, and sometimes the glow is very faint.

Parsifal is also difficult. He doesn’t like being tickled or touched by anybody except for Daddy and Mommy. He double-minused his own grandpa when he tried it. I named him after the Grail Knight because I like him, but unfortunately between the glowing and the no-touchies, he’s just plain sanctimonious.

Gawaine may be mean, but at least he’s friendly and does not glow or give me any of this grief.

Gawaine: The block won’t go in the hole! Why won’t the block go in the hole? I am a knight and I command you to go in the hole, block! (Berserker rage)Parsifal: Patience, dear brother. Patience and a reliance in the right will surely lead to a purity that assures success.Gawaine: Oh, shut up, Percy.

Dinadan just loves playing with the boys, and he’s a great sport about making toys. But he’s not that great about making friends with his in-laws. It’s probably the shyness, but I can see where Parsifal gets it from.

Of course, only girls can inherit in the Goodytwoshoes family line, so Dinadan and Penelope tried for another baby as soon as possible—maybe even before it was wise.

Oh, isn’t that nice. Everyone looks so thrilled to see Palomides. That’s right, another boy. Two toddlers, one infant, all of them boys, and no space for any more children. There isn’t even room for another crib. Shoot me.On the other hand, some people have bigger worries than that.

Max: This is unbearable.

Sadly, Max’s graduation and return to the house do not seem to have helped his mother Cecilia’s mental state.

Max: Grandpapa, you must surely realize that Mama is retreating further and further into her illness. Taking her with you on an extended tour is madness almost as extreme as hers.

Max: It is obvious that there is nothing to be done.

Cecil: Nothing to be done? Or nothing that you are willing to do? I would not resign myself to defeat so easily.--And what is more, I do not believe you.

Cecil: The considerable additions you have made to the cellarage have not escaped my notice.

Cecil: Nor has the bizarre apparatus you have seen fit to install, although I admit that I have only the remotest idea what you do with it. I know only that you spend every waking hour not devoted to your duties as a doctor at the bottom of the house, conducting some form of research.

Cecil: Although, on second thought, you also seem to spend time cultivating plant specimens in the dead of night. I do rather approve your contempt for sleep, Maximilian. Sleep is for the feeble of will.

Cecil: The feeble of will—and the faint of heart.

Max: My research is to improve the condition of others, Grandpapa—medications to strengthen the weakened body and mind. I have no expectation that they will ever benefit Mama.

Cecil: I have said that I do not believe you. What you believe is immaterial, however, as your mother and I leave early tomorrow morning. I shall leave you to your research and to look after the house.--Oh, and do please remember that Sparkle and Honeybun are on diets. Do not give them extra treats: they are overly rotund as it is.

Max: Goodnight, Mama.Cecilia: . . . Max.Max: Yes? Yes, Mama?Cecilia: Max. Max. Max. Max. Max. Max. Max. Max: . . . Goodnight.

And so Cecilia and Cecil left for parts unknown, while Max remained behind to continue his research.

I swear I did not make this happen. I had Ulysses check Doc Nerd out. That is IT. She did this on her own.

Doc: **Friendly Hug**Ulysses: Um? Doc? That’s Killick. I’m over here.

Doc: Hmmm. . . That’s two bizarre hunky Knowledge Sims. . . .

Doc: ---make that three.Doc: Oh, for gosh sake, Doc. Pick one and stick to it. You’re not supposed to pick them all up and then put them back.I genuinely have been trying to let Ulysses, Max, Lucy, and some of the other Knowledge Sims off the leash to find out what they want, but it isn’t any easier when SOME Knowledge Simselves want all of the Knowledge Boys to themselves, DOC.

Also, I don’t want any foolishness on Nausicaa’s birthday.Nausicaa is even shyer than Parsifal, but she loves being played with by Grandpa Jack.

And Grandma Sophia. There is none of this silly double-minusing going on at all.

Killick escaped Doc Nerd’s clutches long enough to take care of Nausicaa. As I said, everyone loves her.

Lucy: This glitch is in no way my fault.

Nausicaa likes playing with Grandpa Jack just as much now that she’s grown up.

Nausicaa: Hi, Mr. Walter. Would you like to see our house? Daddy can’t show it to you right now because he’s sleeping in his coffin and Uncle Achilles is fixing dinner.

Uncle Achilles fixes dinner, and then Uncle Achilles inhales dinner, but never mind: Nausicaa gets in to private school.

Ulysses has to do his parental bonding with her very early in the evening or very early in the morning, but they manage, and even find plenty to talk about.

I don’t want to leave the impression that Achilles isn’t involved, because he is. It’s just that he’s more involved with Donna Lothario at the moment.Donna: So you saved your brother? How brave!

Achilles: I didn’t save him, exactly. He got up in the middle of the day and killed himself by mistake. Something about not wanting to be a sparklepire, maybe? Anyway, I resurrected him after sunset, because I’m not going through all of that again.

Phew, me either. Especially since Ulysses is expecting again. Hey, what’s with the gossip? Someone’s getting engaged?

Hey, Doc. I said ENOUGH.

See, all that resurrecting was worth it, Achilles.

This time it’s a little boy—Telemachus. Ulysses has REALLY got good taste in aliens.***Or Widget does. I’m using her Multi PT hack from MTS2.

It’s traditional for the married in Goodytwoshoes husbands to earn a Gold Toymaking Badge, and it’s also traditional for them to run the family businesses. I don’t think I’m insane enough to build up five top level businesses from scratch, but we’ll have the toy shop and the ice cream parlor.

And just to keep things interesting, I thought it would be nice to buy the other Maxis-made toy store—Tykes’ Tower Toys.That’s Morris Bendett at the cash register. Yes, Morris Bendett.

It’s a point of pride with me that I like to make those toy stores out of what Maxis gives you, even if I have to remodel a bit.

Killick: Which you will be wantin’ a Santa statue, Mr. Legacy.Eddie Legacy: A statue of Father Christmas? Whatever for?Killick: Because it’s a )*(*#($in’ sight more p’lite than a )&*^&^*&in’ lady’s leg wot lights up, thass why.

Once again, it is time for a birthday, and time to see how the twins grow up.

Gawaine’s turned into an energetic, take-charge young man. He is the eldest and the head of this little group of knights and he is certain to let you know it.

Parsifal really is a Goodytwoshoes: well-behaved and possibly a touch prissy. As long as he’s grown out of his glow glitch, I don’t care.

Gawaine: Just to make things clear, Percy: I am the eldest, and I am named after the greatest of King Arthur’s knights. That means I will be the final authority on what wrongs we right and so on.Parsifal: I thought the Round Table was round so all knights were equal.Gawaine: Pssh, whatever, some knights are more equal than others.Plus I’m Scots, and Scots knights are the best.This is very true.

Parsifal: OK, fine, you’re the greatest knight in the world, but MY natural purity of heart gives me the strength of ten, whammo kazip!Gawaine: Hey, you can’t defeat me. Who’s on the side of the law here?Parsifal: Who knows?

Gawaine: Did you just cheat?Parsifal: Of course I didn’t cheat. My natural purity of heart gives me the intelligence. . . Gawaine: . . . Of ten, yeah, yeah.

Gawaine: Look, there’s no sense in being real rivals, Percy. Neither of us can inherit anyway. Here’s what we have to do. Someday we’ll have a sister, and our job will be to protect her so she can finish the legacy. We will have to work together as a chivalric team. And I’m in charge.Parsifal: I agree, dear brother. My natural politeness and chivalry demand a prompt and courteous acquiescence which—Gawaine: For the last time, Percy, shut up. I’m begging you.

Jack and Sophia will be moving out soon. Dinadan and Penelope can’t Try For Baby again until they do, and besides, it will be nice for them to have a pleasant retirement instead of dying. In the meantime, Jack is spending his time training Smores.

I don’t really like to see cats sitting up and begging. Cats don’t beg. But I like close ups of cats.

Servos do a great job of taking care of babies. I don’t remember ever having seen a baby being given a bath in a sink before. But for some reason, the swarming around Palomides is insane. Every adult Sim in the house clusters around him. When he is put to bed, another Sim gets him out of bed so they can put him back in bed.

This makes growing him up a very good thing indeed.

OK, he’s cute, but he’s still a boy, and frankly, he has the worst characteristics of both brothers, Shy AND Mean—a Sag, 6/2/9/7/2. So you’ll have to promise to be the last boy. OK?

Finally, Dinadan earned his gold Toymaking badge. I often miss catching the gold badge picture, so here is the next best thing--

One Wacky WooHoo Water Wiggler. I cannot believe that that is a children’s toy.

Gawaine: Thank you for helping me to build a snowman guard, Percy.

Parsifal: But that’s a mean snowman.Gawaine: Well, maybe you should have started helping a little earlier. Hey, what’s that over there?Gender-reversed Pleasantview courtesy of Marhis. Guest appearances: Dinadan Locks, Goldilocks and the Nine Heirs; Jack Buccaneer, Piratical Legacy; Stanley and Eddie Legacy, Victorian Legacy; Doc Nerd, the Vetinari Dualegacy.Stay tuned—will we have a girl next time? And what happened to all those Romans?