Healt Retrea€¦ · 27. Quotes 28. Goals 29. Quote 30. Quote 31. Achieve The Right Life Model 32....

STAGE 1TWO DAY SEMINARINTRODUCING:

THE FOUNDATION TO UNDERSTANDING STRESS,

DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY

�e Health Retreat

INDEX3. Achieve The Right Life Model4. Wisdom Development Model5. Welcome6. Self Evaluation7. Understanding Stress8. Components of Stress9. The Body10. The Body11. The Mind12. The Mind13. The Mind14. The Body15. The Mind16. The Mind Body Connections17. Conscious Vs. Unconscious Mind18. Unconscious Minds19. Beliefs and Priorities20. Beliefs Priorities Questions21. Emotions22. What Causes our Emotions23. How We Experience Life24. How We Experience Life continued25. Learning26. Fours Stages of Learning27. Quotes28. Goals29. Quote30. Quote31. Achieve The Right Life Model32. Achieve The Right Life – Four Filters/Lenses33. Four Filters of Stress 1-234. Four Filters of Stress Continued 3-435. Example 1. The Divorce36. Activity - Part A Examples of Achieve the Right Life Model - Emotions and Language37. Stress, Depression and Anxiety38. The Wisdom Development Model39. The 4 Wisdoms 1-240. The 4 Wisdoms continued 3-441. Example 1. The Divorce upgrade42. Activity - Part B Examples of Achieve the Right Life Model - Emotions and Language43. The Wisdom to Alleviate Stress, Depression and Anxiety44. Dealing with Stress and Upgrading Beliefs45. Insights46. Self Reflection47. Quotes

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Introduction to The Health Retreat Method 3

Achieve the Right Life ModelExamples of common Emotions and Language found when viewing life through the ...

1. Life Not Going To Plan

Emotions: Stress, Irritable, Frustration, Worry, Annoyance

Statements:My life is not going to planLife could go wrongI need to have more control of lifeThis is not what is meant to happen Life is not fairI have gone off trackI have been a bad personMy life is ruinedIf I can just make things perfectIt is all about meI am worried the future could go wrongThings are out of controlI have got it wrong againI made a wrong choiceI trusted everything would go to planI’ve got to do the right thing

2. Missing Out On Needs / Wants

Emotions: Sadness, Sorrow, Loss, Grief, Disappointment

Statements:On approvalOn acceptanceOn loveOn respectOn recognitionOn attentionOn being appreciatedOn support On encouragementOn my developmentOn my life – It’s on holdOn my familyOn my friendsOn my career – financial rewardsOn having companyOn having balance in my life

3. Should Have Behaved Differently

Emotions: Anger, Blame, Regret, Guilt, Criticism, Resentment

Statements:I/They should have known betterI/They should have acted differentlyI/They should have made better decisionsI/They should have made the right choiceI/They should have seen it comingI’m angry, pissed off, at…I knew better and I still did itWhy didn’t I/They…Why would they do that?If only I had…If only they didn’t do thatI wish they weren’t like thatWhy can’t they?They shouldn’t have done thatThey could’ve made more effortIf this is true for me, it is also true for everyone else.

4. Reduced Self-Worth / Value

Emotions: Insecure, Inadequate, Overwhelmed, Hopeless, Worthless, Helpless, Useless

Statements:I feel less than…I have nothing to offer, to giveI’m not enoughI’m not good enoughI’m unlovableIt’s always my faultI’m hopelessI’m uselessI’m stupid, dumbI don’t like myselfI’m not meant to be hereI’ve failed, I’m a failureI am not worthyI need to prove my valueI have low self esteemI have nothing of value to offer life

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‘Wisdom Development’ Model

1. The Journey Of Life

Emotions: Relaxed, Calm, Acceptance, Inner Happiness

Statements:Life does not always go to my desired plan.I can’t get life wrong. Life is unfolding in the only way it can.I can’t control life. The reality is, we will experience wanted and unwanted events.Just because life didn’t go the way I wanted, it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hold valuable learning.This is another experience on my path.Life is about having experiences, not about getting life right.This too shall pass.It couldn’t have happened another way (Cause and Effect).Life is a unique journey.

2. Receiving Development/Learning

Emotions: Appreciation, Gratitude, Contentment, Joy

Statements:Every experience has value for my growth.I might not be getting what I want, but I am having a real life experience.Where is the hidden value?What can I learn from this? What is the event learning?What is the life learning?I don’t need other people’s respect, recognition and approval, when I respect, recognize and approve of myself.Even though this event was unwanted, there is still value in this event.I don’t need anything else to be a valuable person.If this doesn’t kill me, it might make me more resourceful.

3. Change Beliefs/Change Behaviour

Emotions: Understanding, Empathy, Forgiveness, Letting Go, Self Acceptance

Statements:I am always doing my best with what I have got.Just because I have some information, it doesn’t mean it is my priority.This doesn’t condone mine or others’ behaviour, it does allow me to understand it though.It’s the information gathered from the consequences that allow me to look back in hindsight.Understand the thinking behind the behaviour and you’ll understand the behaviour.I am always making decisions with the information, beliefs and priorities I have at any given moment.What were my priorities in that moment?

4. Worthy As A Human Being

Emotions: A sense of worth and value, Self-Love, Inner security, Purpose, Confidence, Peace of mind

Statements:I am unique and special.My value is intrinsic, inherent and un-compromise-able.My value and worth does not come from what I do, but from the fact that I’m here to do it.My self-worth is not defined by anything outside of me.I am completely worthy in every moment.I am always doing the best that I can.I am automatically contributing to the learning, growing of myself, my friends and family, my community and to the species at large and life itself.If I’m alive, I’m worthy. My worth comes from my very existence.

Examples of common Emotions and Language found when viewing life through the ...

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WELCOME Today you are about to embark on a two day seminar introducing The Health Retreat Method, which will give you a broad understanding of the cause of your stress and how you can change the way you view it within a supportive group environment.

The Method has been proven to help individuals overcome stress related illness. By applying The Method in your everyday life it can facilitate a permanent change in the way you view your world and give you a new way of thinking. Ultimately, it will enable you to resolve psychological stress in all areas of life.

If you make the commitment to yourself to learn and regularly apply The Health Retreat Method to your life, you will enter a new phase of progress, clarity and vitality.

“Repetition is the mother of all learning.”

~ ancient wisdom

“We meet ourselves time and time again in a thousand

disguises on the path of life.”~ C G Jung (one of the 20th century’s pioneers in modern psychology)

DISCLAIMER…This information is for educational purposes. It is not intended as a replacement for medical advice, diagnostic purposes or treatment. This is a living document that is subject to update and change.

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DAY ONE SELF EVALUATION Please complete at the beginning of the seminar.

1. What are the most important things about yourself you want to change?

2. What are the most important things about your life in general you would like to bedifferent?

3. What abilities do you believe you need to fix you or your life?

4. What do you want to gain and learn from this educational seminar?

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Understanding Stress: Natural Stress:Natural Stress is the natural response to our physical environment in order to tend to our basic NEEDS in life, i.e. Air, Water, Food, Shelter and Rest.

Natural Stress is our system’s attempt to keep us alive. This is based on reality, and is an immediate response to an actual threat to our physical well-being. At this time our body releases certain chemicals and hormones into our system that give us more energy and strength to respond to the threat. This is vital to our survival, and is a very useful tool when there is actually something to fight or flight from.

Psychological Stress:Psychological Stress is the reaction to a perceived threat to what we BELIEVE to be our NEEDS for our Psychological well-being.

This is not based in reality, meaning there is no actual threat to our person, but rather to a perceived threat to our sense of self worth, which in our minds equals Psychological death. If I don’t have any Value or Worth on this planet I may as well be dead.

The brain doesn’t make a hard distinction between Natural or Psychological Stress, so the same chemicals are released into the body, except in Psychological Stress, there isn’t really anything to fight or flight from, and as a result these excess chemicals create undue wear and tear on our system. Of course this Psychological Stress varies from mild day to day stress to more major concerns, where the fear that life is a threat becomes debilitating. It is this end of the spectrum we are most concerned with here.

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Components of Stress

The Event Whilst we acknowledge events are a component of our stress, we don’t believe they are the major component or the actual cause of our stress.

If you google the causes of stress (anxiety, depression), some of the events below will show up as the leading cause.

• Marriage

• Divorce

• Losing a loved one

• Losing a job/not getting a promotion

• Moving/buying a house

• Pregnancy/Child Birth

• Abuse

• Christmas

If these events are the causes of our stress, surely that would mean everyone who experiences these events would be stressed (depressed or anxious). That is simply not true. The role that events do play in our stress is that they trigger the beliefs that we hold that then allow us to get stressed.


The Body Epigenetics:

Epigenetics is the science of gene expression (how

our body reads and interprets our genes). We are

born with DNA in each of our cells. Each DNA

has a series of strands. How the cell expresses

these strands will determine what type of cell it

will be, ie: skin cell, nerve cell, hair cell etc.

For a long time, scientists believed once we were born our DNA was fixed – however

the new science of Epigenetics is demonstrating that the expression of strands within

our DNA is changing constantly.

How we interact with our environment, WILL influence the proteins and histamines

that make up the expression of the DNA. There is solid evidence coming through that

we have the ability to both improve our health on a cellular level or to destroy it. We

are then responsible for passing that on to our children.

When we start thinking differently (Upgraded thinking) we also behave differently –

and the opposite is also true – when we behave differently, our thinking also reflects

these changes. When we are incorporating regular movement, watching our food

intake we are influencing our biology.

Your program at The Health Retreat incorporates an exercise program and dietary

changes. This is further stimulating the change within YOUR gene expression.


The Body

When you go home you can continue this by planning and considering various changes

into your daily living practices. Below are some activities that have been identified that

will enhance or damage your genome. Enhance your Genome Damage your Genome

Healthy food, water, air Processed/fast foods

Participation in hobbies Alcohol, Drugs, Tobacco

Being creative Constant distractions

Physically active Sedentary life style

Mindfulness/Meditation Negative thinking

Life satisfaction Unsatisfactory work

Love/Affection Unhappy friends

Working towards long range goals Toxic relationships

The most amazing thing is you are then able to pass on this healthier gene expression to

your children. Thereby possibly eliminating genes that could predispose them to

addictions, anxiety, depression… the list is endless and the science is only just

beginning!


The Mind

Neuroplasticity:

The brain is made up of nerve cells called neurons – a group of neurons involved in a

thought or action is called a neural pathway. Neuroplasticity is the brains ability to

change those neural pathways.

The impact for you is immense! This means you have the ability to change the

automatic ways you think and behave. For example, recall that time in your life

when you really enjoyed Southern Comfort (or equivalent), then you had that one big

night and you have never been able to drink it since! That was a sudden shift of neural

activity, from one associated with a pleasurable experience to one of pain, ultimately

changing your future thinking and behaviour.

Whilst the brain has many structures and functions, its primary function is to transmit

information, both within the brain and around the body. It does this through either a

transmission of chemicals, or electrical impulses.

Historically research suggested that once a person was considered an adult

(biologically) the brain would stop developing. We now know this is not the case.

Neurons (pictured below) are the nerve cells of the central nervous system and are

predominately found within the brain and spinal cord. They are designed to transmit

information to other nerve cells, muscles and/or glands. The joining of neurons create a

‘Neural Pathway’.


The Mind

‘Neuroplasticity’ is the brains ability to re-organise those neural pathways within

the brain.

Think of it in terms of the existing neural pathways being ‘habits’ – habits of thought,

habits of behaviour – they often take very little, or no thought to be activated. Often

activation occurs through an unconscious association to a feeling, a smell, a noise, or

even a behaviour observed in someone else (or yourself). At times, it is not until the

ability of hindsight do we even realise what we have just done, or what we have been

thinking.

The “Method” taught at The Health Retreat (upgrading) IS the development of

new neural pathways.

Whilst you are attending classes and learning the Method, you are creating new ways of

thinking and behaving. An upgraded thought, leads to a new belief, a new behaviour –

A NEW WAY OF LIVING LIFE.

At The Health Retreat we are laying a foundation of change. When you go home it is

commitment to this change, along with compassion for self and others which will lead

to LONG TERM POSITIVE change.


The Mind Summary Put into your own words, your understanding of Neural Pathways. ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

What do you need to do for change to occur? ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

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The Body Genetics:Genetics are blueprints of our make up. They represent the resources, capabilities and abilities that we are born with and are passed down from previous generations. They are our starting point, our basic toolbox that we can draw upon to help us live in whatever environment we find ourselves. We have evolved in a way so that from birth we are set to learn as much as we can as fast as we can. This will then add to our individual toolbox, making us different, even from the people living in the same environment with the same gene pool, like our brothers and sisters. Some of the latest research in the new science of epigenetics suggests that our genetic code is not locked in stone. From this we realise that our genetic make-up is a predisposition but not a death sentence. Different genes are activated and deactivated over our lifetime depending on how we respond to our environment, based upon our perceptions and beliefs.

Chemistry:The Western medicine paradigm believes that the cause of our stress (anxiety and depression) is due to a chemical imbalance in the brain. We definitely do not dispute that a chemical change occurs, but we believe that the chemical imbalance is a symptom not the cause. The chemicals released into our bodies will often be a result of the way we are viewing our environment based on our beliefs.

Physiology:What we do with and to our bodies can also play a role in our stress. How we move, our posture, our breathing, what we eat and drink, and the drugs and medications we take will alter our biochemistry therefore affect our emotional states and moods. This of course is representative of that MIND-BODY Connection. However what we do to and with our bodies will also be a response to our belief structures.

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The Mind Language:The words we use internally and aloud not only describe our experience but are also involved in determining it. All words have a particular meaning to the individual. That meaning will then determine how that individual feels about what they are describing. What we need to be mindful of though is that the language we use is a direct reflection of our beliefs.

Beliefs:Beliefs are what we consider to be the major component and cause of our stress.

Think about a time when you and someone else were witnessing the same event. You reacted one way and they reacted differently. Is it the event causing the different reactions, or are the individuals’ different perceptions and beliefs about the event the cause? Of course it is each individual’s beliefs. As we will see over our time here our beliefs are responsible for all our thoughts, feelings, emotions and behaviours.

It’s never the event that causes our stress, it’s the way we are thinking about it that does!

“Stress, Anxiety and Depression; these are not

things we have, they are things we DO!”

S. Speranza

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Mind - Body Connection The Mind-Body Connection is the relationship between the mind’s psychological realm and the body’s physiological realm. It is also the role and influences that our psychological well-being exerts upon our physical well-being and vice versa.

The ‘mind’ and ‘body’ are the components that make us unique human beings. They are aspects of a complete system and cannot be separated.

As much as we believe in this mind-body system and how these aspects affect each other, in this course we will be focusing more on the mind and the influence it has over the body. We will be undertaking an exploration of how particular thought processes and mindsets have a direct influence over our mental, emotional and physical disease.

Specifically, we will be looking at the role our thoughts, views and our opinions play in our Stress, Anxiety and Depression.

Group Activity:Mind-Body Exercise:

1. Close your eyes and vividly imagine a stressful event in your life.

2. What emotions did I experience? Where and how did I feel that in the body?

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Conscious and Unconscious Mind Conscious Mind.

• The conscious mind is only the tip of the iceberg it accounts for less than 5% of ourprocessing.

• The conscious mind can only process between 5-9 chunks of information at a time, ora maximum of 200 bits of information a second.

• It gathers information mainly through the 5 perceptual senses.

• Your conscious mind is the logical, objective and rational portion of your mind withwhich you are most familiar.

• It represents your awareness of yourself, others, and your surroundings, and it isexperienced as your everyday thinking or ‘language’ mind.

• Some of your daily activities fall under its direction.

• It is also a source of a number of aspects of your intellect and reasoning capabilities.It’s what in most cases you are referring to when you say, “I think.”

• Focus’ and ‘concentration’ are different qualities of the conscious mind’s capacity topay attention.

“Where your attention goes, the energy flows, and then that

thing grows.” ~ Adapted from Huna Wisdom.

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Unconscious Mind • Accounts for over 95% of our processing.

• It is processing millions to billions of bits of information at a time.

• It runs and maintains bodily functions.

• Stores and retrieves all information.

• It runs habituated patterns, programs (without consciously having to think aboutthem) and behaviours as a result of external and internal stimulus.

• It runs the strongest program (belief via associated neural pathways) on the principleof least effort.

• Takes everything literally and cannot distinguish from ‘actual’ and‘imagined‘ reality.Being image-based it does not process negative language.

• Organises memories.

• It is the source of instinct and intuition.

“Your Unconscious mind takes everything personally.”

~ Milton H Erickson – one of the twentieth centuries pioneers in Brief Therapy

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Beliefs and Priorities What are beliefs?Beliefs are our thoughts, views and opinions about life. A belief is a definition or perspective that we are emotionally invested in as being true. Beliefs are formed by information, experience and influences we have been exposed to in our lives from our immediate environment. Parental and societal conditioning account for most of our beliefs along with our own personal experiences.

We can look at these beliefs as assumed ‘truths’. We assume them to be true, until proven otherwise. All beliefs are reason based, meaning we have information, evidence and reasons to believe them, however sometimes the reasons we have may be based on inaccuracies. If the information supporting a belief is inaccurate then the whole belief will be inaccurate. If you are experiencing stress, we believe you are viewing life through these inaccurate beliefs. e.g. I believe marriage is forever; but I’m getting divorced. What I believe to be true isn’t matching up with what is really happening in life and the conflict within is high.

Every action we take and every decision we make is governed by our beliefs. Within the experience of life there are millions of beliefs being acted from moment to moment. Every second of everyday life presents us with situations that will challenge and trigger our beliefs e.g. which pen to use; what part of the couch to sit on; to have breakfast or not; to brush my hair or not - all governed by our beliefs. Our minds and brains weigh up what we BELIEVE is the best thing for us to do in this moment.

So if everything we do is governed by our beliefs, and beliefs are the things that we hold to be true, how can I do something that I know to be ‘wrong’? E.g. “I’m smoking even though I believe it is bad for me.” “My doctor told me to stop drinking and even though I believe him I’m at the pub drinking.” “I’m hitting the kids even though I believe that it is bad parenting to do so.” “I’m sitting on the couch even though I’m overweight and I know I should be going for a walk.”

If I believe these to be true and I am governed by my belief system then how can I go against it? We are not going against it we just have a higher priority.

What is a Priority?A priority is an activated belief. It is the belief we hold to be the most important at any given moment and then we act upon it. In order for our brains to be able to make any decision we have to rate our beliefs from most to least important to us. Our brains are designed for us to be able to evaluate our environment and make the decision it believes will be the best one in order for us to survive and thrive. If all beliefs had the same importance we would never be able to make a decision. So at any given moment, whatever we are doing is our priority in that moment. A new priority can be activated in any new situation when given any new information.

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Beliefs and Priorities QuestionsWhat are your beliefs?

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Where do my beliefs come from?

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How do my beliefs affect my life?

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What is a priority?

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When are priorities activated?

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Emotions What are emotions?All the emotions we have, are physical responses to a range of chemicals released throughout the body: love, hate, sadness, happiness, excitement, fear; all emotions, and they all have bio-chemical correlates.

Whenever we experience an emotion, there are chemicals and hormones released into the bloodstream. These chemicals travel to different sites in the body where they lock into a corresponding receptor. When this occurs, the chemicals and hormones stimulate and activate certain bodily functions and sensations, which allow us ‘to feel’ an emotion.

Are emotions good/positive or bad/negative?Some people have the belief that emotions are bad, and should never be displayed or indulged. “Big boys don’t cry.” “Don’t wear your heart on your sleeve.” “Showing emotion is showing weakness.” “Anger is bad and only leads to pain.” Of course no one likes to feel stressed, depressed or anxious. These are obviously unpleasant states and are broader considerations.

Others say emotions are good and should never be suppressed. “All you need is love.” “A good cry is releasing.” “Emotions let you know you’re alive.” “Anger is good, as it leads to action, justice, and the righting of wrongs.”

Here at The Health Retreat we say they are neither good nor bad - they just are. They don’t need to be suppressed, nor do they need to be indulged. But they do need to be investigated, acknowledged, accepted, and released. So instead of asking are emotions good or bad, we prefer to ask:

Do emotions have a purpose?The answer to this one is – yes. As we said before, emotions do let us know we are alive. They provide us with the highs and lows of life that enrich our time here making it more exciting and varied. Think about this; if you were happy 24 hrs a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year, how would you know it?

As another functioning cognitive system, our emotions let us know we are alive, and they let us know how we are doing in life. Our emotions are a direct indicator of how we are dealing with the life experience we are encountering at any given moment. They let us know how we are looking at, thinking about, or interpreting an event that is occurring.

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What Causes Our Emotions? As we said before, emotions happen due to a release of chemicals and hormones; but what tells the body to release the chemicals so we experience the emotion?

It’s our beliefs, our thoughts, our views and opinions about what is happening.

Think about it. In order to get emotional about something, an event, you need to have opinion (or belief) about it.

If we are thinking, “This shouldn’t be happening.” - “This is wrong.” - “I’m missing out on what I need.” - then we have, anger, stress or grief.

If we are thinking “This is what is meant to be happening.” “This is right.” “I’m getting something from this.” – then we have joy, happiness and appreciation.

“Emotions are a physical reaction to a specific mental

state!”C. Scott

“Emotions are indicators of our Beliefs!”

G. Neville.

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How We Experience Life 1. Events

Events are perceived (consciously and/or subconsciously) through the senses, evaluated according to previously formed categories and beliefs that spring from past experiences, needs and values. This then leads to the emergence of body sensations (which we call emotions), to which we are likely to react and behave in habituated way.

Event Sensory Perception Evaluation Body Sensations Reaction

The four internal components above (sensory perception to reaction) function in equilibrium when mental health is optimum and in disequilibrium when we are stressed.

2. Sensory Perception

• Information captured through our 5 senses.

3. Evaluation

• First a rapid sequence of stimulus recognition and categorisation (e.g. “It’s raining.”)

• Next a personal interpretation of that information based on our Beliefs and Priorities.This is a rating system. e.g. “I believe this is; good - bad, right - wrong, pleasant -unpleasant.” etc..

• With repetition of this process, evaluation is learned and becomes automatic, enablingrapid judgment based on past experiences.

4. Body Sensations

• Following the judgmental process, we experience one or more sensations in the body.This is how the mind and body connect, through body sensations. We call theseemotions.

• These chemical reactions, muscle contractions, changes in temperature, heart rate,and breathing are the physical reactions to our mental evaluations.

• Mindfulness identifies four basic characteristics of body sensations, the intensity ofwhich varies: Mass à from light to heavy – Temperature à from coldest – to hottest –Motion à from most still to most movement – Cohesiveness à from loosest to densest

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5. Reaction

• Then come our external reactions, our behaviours and our actions.

• When we react, we react to the consequences of our thoughts (body sensations) inorder to reduce them if they are unpleasant or increase them if they are pleasant.

• We do not react to the event, as this is meaningless without the experience in thebody.

Diagram Example of Central Nervous System

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Learning How do we learn?Learning takes place primarily by interacting with our environment. Every moment we are alive, we are having a ‘real life’ experience by which we are receiving information. We learn from and through our environment.

There are 5 basic ways we interact with our environment.

We see it, hear it, feel it, taste it, and smell it - our 5 senses. This leads us to having a predominantly sensory learning experience; Visual (seeing) - Auditory (hearing) - Kinesthetic (touching) - and to a lesser degree, Gustatory (tasting) and Olfactory (smelling). When trying to learn something new it can help to engage as many of the senses as possible. This is on a more literal level, and not the focus of our discussion.

Generally, we say there are three main sensory systems by which we learn.

Three ways we learn.1._________________________________________________________

2. ________________________________________________________

3. ________________________________________________________

So when we are having these life experiences, there are three things that the information we receive does for our beliefs.

Three ways information affects our beliefs.1._________________________________________________________

2._________________________________________________________

3. ________________________________________________________

When we receive new information, if it has sufficient weight, enough reasoning behind it, or if we already had a lot of the information needed and we get the ‘missing piece’, we can sometimes upgrade or change a belief instantly. However, more often than not, when we are learning something new, we require practice and repetition.

As they say “Repetition is the mother of skill.” When we have done something enough (practiced and repeated), we no longer have to think about it consciously. This is what some people call cellular or muscle memory. Some will say “Its ‘second nature’ to me.” or “I did it without even thinking about it.” For a lot of us it’s simply known as habit. It becomes an unconscious habituated reaction to an event or situation. To do this we have to go through the four stages of learning.

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Four Stages Of Learning 1. ________________________________________________________

2._________________________________________________________

3._________________________________________________________

4._________________________________________________________

When we reach this state of Unconscious Competence, it has its benefits as well as its drawbacks. On one hand it makes life a lot easier to do. We don’t have to relearn how to brush our teeth, boil an egg or drive our cars every day. It saves us time and energy. It’s what allows us to get on with life. However, when we inaccurately assume that the experience we are having is exactly the same as the experience we had in the past, we will tend to react habitually, instead of responding appropriately to this brand new event.

Two Types of Learning.There are two types of learning that we are concerned with here at The Health Retreat.

1. Event learning = _____________ = a way of ______________ life.

Event learning is the information we receive from an event or experience that allows us to do a task; to know the answers to an exam, how to bake a cake, how to drive a car – information we learn in order to be able to go out and do things in life. Sometimes it may be how to do something initially or learning how to do something better or more effectively to get a different outcome next time. Knowledge may give you a greater ability to predict the outcome of an event if done a certain way but does not guarantee it. It may help you to make more informed decisions in life, but cannot control it. Knowledge will help you to work out how and what you want to do with your life. Event learning is definitely important; it is what allows us ‘to do life’.

2. Life learning = _____________ = a way of ______________ life.

Life learning or wisdom is an accurate account of reality, life and your role within life. It’s an appreciation of what’s actually happening, not what you think or perceive is happening. Wisdom refers to a specific set of understandings (truths) about life, that when applied, alleviate your stress. Wisdom is not about how to make life go the way you want, nor is it about making the correct decisions or actions. Wisdom allows you to look at life in a different way when it is not going the way we want it to. Wisdom allows you handle life in a more stress-free way by having a correct understanding of what life is.

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“Wisdom is an accurate account of life/reality

and your role within it.” G. Neville

“Evolution is life’s way of learning what does

and doesn’t work within its environment.”

C. Scott

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Goals 1. List the three categories of goals that you feel you need to achieve.

2. What is a goal?

3. What is a goal box?

4. How do goals affect my life?

5. What is the true purpose of goals?

6. What are misconceptions about goals?

Goal box.

1. _____________________________.

2.. _____________________________

3.. _____________________________.

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“Setting a goal is more important than

achieving it.”

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“It’s not the destination,its the Journey”

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ACHIEVE THE RIGHT LIFE MODEL

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1. LIFE NOT GOING TOPLAN.

Due to unexpected and undesired events I now believe life is not going to plan, and now I’m on the wrong path.

2. MISSING OUT ONNEEDS/ WANTS.

Now that I’m on the wrong path,

I believe I’m missing out on all the qualities and opportunities I need to get my life right.

4. REDUCED SELF–WORTH/ VALUE.

Because I’m on the wrong path and I’m missing out on my needs, and life should have been different, I have not been able to tick off my goals. I have not been able to prove my value in society. I feel worth-less.

3. SHOULDHAVE BEHAVED DIFFERENTLY.

Now that I’m on the wrong path and missing out, I believe it’s because I, or someone else, could have made a different decision. Then my life would be better.

BeliefsNeeds

Priorities

Achieve The Right Life Model The Four Filters of Stress

The Health Retreat


The 4 Filters of Stress (Inaccurate Thinking)

1. Life Not Going To Plan.Life can go right or wrong.

I’m focused on getting life right and avoiding the wrong path in life.

Unexpected unwanted events have made life go wrong and put me on the wrong path in life.

2. Missing Out On Needs/Wants.I have to meet certain needs to be getting my life right.

My focus in now on what I don’t have because I’m on the wrong path.

I’m afraid I wont get what I need to be able to prove my value, my worth.

The Health Retreat


The 4 Filters of Stress continued 3. Should Have Behaved Differently.I/They could have or should have known better.

Now I am focused on the specific decision or behaviour that put me on the wrong path.

I / They should have made better decisions.

4. Reduced Self Worth/Value.Myself and my life is now of less value.

I am now focused on how I wasn’t good enough to stay on the right path.

I have not got life right so I’m not as valuable as others.

The Health Retreat


Example 1 - Divorce (inaccurate thinking)

I am feeling stressed because I am getting divorced. The first thing to understand is that you are not doing stress because you are getting divorced. You are doing stress because of the way you are viewing your divorce – what being married or getting divorced means to you.

Life Not Going To Plan.My life isn’t going to plan. I wanted to be married forever and I now need to get my life back on track. My life is on the wrong path. It’s not turning out the way it is supposed to.

Missing out on Needs/Wants.Because I’m getting divorced, I am now missing out on all the experiences. I am missing out on being a happily married person. I am not getting the love, respect and support I desired. My parents and church will disapprove of me. Now I am going to be on my own and alone, and the kids will not have a father.

Should Have Behaved Differently.I could have paid more attention, I should have been home more, listened more, just tried harder and this wouldn’t be happening. He should have shared with me and tried harder too. He should have told me he wasn’t happy. He should not be doing this to me.

Reduced Self-Worth/Value.I have failed at the marriage. I am worth-less to my partner, less to my family. My kids think I’m hopeless. I am under pressure from my parents because I’m the first one in my family to get divorced. We are religious and I am also copping it from my church peers. I feel like crap because I’m getting divorced and being dumped on by everyone. We were always the happy couple, that’s how I defined myself. If I’m not part of this happy couple who am I? I’m nothing.

“Our beliefs filter theway we see the world.”

The Health Retreat


ACTIVITY – Part A Identify the 4 Stress Filters (Inaccurate Thinking)The Event – Find a recent situation that caused you Stress, Anxiety or Depression. In a few sentences, describe the situation and what bothered you most about this?

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Identify your Beliefs – Use the statements on Page 30 to help you identify your beliefs through the 4 Stress Filters, and write them in the spaces below. E.g. In what way do you feel your life is going wrong? OR What do you think you are missing out on?

Life Not Going To Plan

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Missing Out On Needs / Wants

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Should Have Behaved Differently

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Reduced Self-Worth / Value

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The Health Retreat


Stress, Depression and AnxietyST

RE

SSK

eyB

elie

f:L

ife

isno

tgo

ing

topl

an.

Rel

atio

nsh

ipto

Goa

ls:

My

goal

sar

en

otbe

ing

met

inth

ew

ayI

wan

t.

DE

PR

ESS

ION

Key

Bel

ief:

Why

both

erev

entr

ying

toha

vego

als?

Ica

n’t

achi

eve

them

anyw

ay.W

hat’s

the

poin

t?W

hat's

the

use?

Rel

atio

nsh

ipto

Goa

ls:

An

abse

nce

ofgo

als

inon

eor

mor

ear

eas

ofli

fe.

AN

XIE

TY

Key

Bel

ief:

Ine

edto

cont

rola

llev

ents

inm

ylif

ean

dpr

even

tan

ythi

ngba

dfr

omha

ppen

ing.

Rel

atio

nsh

ipto

Goa

ls:

The

rear

elo

tsof

goal

s.

Dep

ress

ion

and

Anx

iety

can’

tbe

expe

rien

ced

atth

esa

me

time.

How

ever

,you

can

cycl

ebe

twee

nth

etw

ofr

omm

omen

tto

mom

ent.

The Health Retreat


The Wisdom Development Model

The Health Retreat

The Wisdom Development Model

An Introduction to The Health Retreat Method 30

Info

rmat

ion

from

our

pare

ntal

and

soci

etal

cond

ition

ing

crea

tes

our

belie

fs.

Thro

ugh

life

expe

rien

ce,w

eca

nno

w h

ave

som

ene

w in

form

atio

n,ca

lled

Wis

dom

.One

ofth

efir

stth

ings

we

real

ize

isth

atth

ere

isN

OB

IGG

OA

LB

OX

atth

een

dof

the

path

that

will

mak

eus

happ

yan

dw

orth

y.In

fact

ther

ear

elo

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little

goal

boxe

sal

lalo

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ew

ay.

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ew

eac

hiev

e,so

me

we

don’

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eal

soun

ders

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that

ther

eis

nost

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eto

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achi

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fal

lofo

urgo

als.

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cta

mor

eac

cura

teun

ders

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ing

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this

that

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fille

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ithup

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DE

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M

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iefs

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ds

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DE

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AN

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GO

FR

EA

LIT

Y.

1.T

he

Jou

rney

ofL

ife.

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has

itsup

san

ddo

wns

,hig

hsan

dlo

ws,

bute

ach

one

isan

expe

rien

ceal

ong

my

path

.2.

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eivi

ng

Dev

elop

men

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earn

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ery

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rien

ceI

amha

ving

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ivin

gin

form

atio

n,le

arni

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owth

.3.

Ch

ange

Bel

iefs

/Ch

ange

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avio

r.Ev

ery

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sion

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hey

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the

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uld

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enti

ntim

e.4.

Wor

thA

sA

Hu

man

Bei

ng.

Iam

aliv

e,w

orth

yas

ah

uman

bein

g,I’

mle

arni

ngan

dgr

owin

gal

lthe

time,

that

itis

OK

tobe

me

and

whe

reI’

mat

now

.I

amau

tom

atic

ally

cont

ribu

ting

toli

f e.

The Health Retreat


The Wisdom Development Model The 4 Wisdoms(Accurate Thinking)

1. The Journey of Life.There is no Right or Wrong path, there is only your path.

I understand that life has its ups and downs. Where I am now is another experience along my path in life.

I am focused on the bigger picture.

2. Receiving Development and Learning.Life is always providing for my development.

I understand every experience has value for my learning and growth. I am focused on what I do have and what I am receiving.

The Health Retreat


The 4 Wisdoms continued 3. Change Beliefs to Change Behaviour.If this event occurred it is the only event that could’ve occurred with everything that went before it.

I understand I am always making the only decision I can with the Information, Beliefs and Priorities I have at the time.

I am focused on understanding what my/their priorities are?

4. Worthy as a Human Being.I am a unique individual.

I understand no matter what my experience in life it doesn’t actually affect my

True Value on this planet.

I am focused on the automatic contribution to life my unique presence brings.

“What you resist, persists.”Jeanne Bice

The Health Retreat


Example 1 Divorce (accurate thinking) Upgrading through the Wisdom Model

The Journey of LifeLife is a journey. Although I didn’t plan on getting divorced it doesn’t mean my life isn’t worthwhile. Who knows where my path will lead me now. I couldn’t control all the issues that led to this happening, but that doesn’t make me a bad person. Even though unpleasant, and not what I desired, it is another experience on my path in life, and this too shall pass.

Receiving Development and LearningI am always receiving what I need for my growth and development. I still have all the experiences and memories from the relationship as part of my life. I have learnt that when I love and respect myself I don’t NEED it from anyone else. I thought I needed my partner to complete me, but now I know that isn’t true either. When I do treat myself in this way, I am also more likely to treat my partner in the same way, creating a more lasting and fulfilling relationship. Also I have learned that I don’t need my partner’s, family’s or society’s approval to be a valuable person. Even though I may miss this part of my life, I give thanks and gratitude for all the experiences and learnings I have received from this.

Change Beliefs to Change BehaviourI was acting in the only way I could’ve and made the only decisions I could have with the information, beliefs and priorities I had at the time. Even though I might have known this could have happened I wasn’t convinced it would, otherwise I would have done something different. My priorities at the time were elsewhere; I wanted to give my kids all my attention. When I had spare time, I just wanted to do what made me feel better, but I couldn’t have tried harder because I didn’t know he was unhappy. I was blaming him, but I now realise he was doing his best with his beliefs and priorities as well. All along he was doing what he thought was right for him, his decisions were about him and have nothing to do with my Value as a Human Being.

Worthy as a Human BeingI am always completely worthy. I now realise this experience doesn’t actually mean anything about my value. My worth and value are not defined by what I do, whether I am married or not or for that matter, what anyone else thinks about me. I have had and shared my unique experiences with those around me, so I have automatically contributed to growth and development of my friends and family and to life itself.

The Health Retreat


ACTIVITY - Part B Apply the 4 Wisdom UpgradesRelating back to Page 29, NOW, use the statements on Page 37, to help you apply the 4 Wisdom Upgrades to the Inaccurate Beliefs you wrote down in the 4 Stress Filters.

This activity is to help you to Upgrade your Beliefs. When using the Upgrades, you are now looking at life through the BIGGER PICTURE, by using the 4 Wisdom Upgrades.

The Journey of Life

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Receiving Development / Learning

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Change Beliefs / Change Behaviour

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ I am a Worthy Human Being

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The Health Retreat


The Wisdom to Alleviate Stress, Depression and Anxiety

STR

ESS

Un

der

stan

din

g :N

om

atte

rh

owm

uch

Ip

lan

and

org

aniz

e,so

met

imes

thin

gsar

eou

tof

my

con

trol

.T

his

doe

sn

otm

ake

me

less

,it

just

mak

esm

ea

hu

man

ex

per

ien

cin

gli

fe.

Thi

nkin

g:W

eha

veup

san

ddo

wns

inlif

e,th

atpr

oves

I’m

hu

man

and

aliv

e,an

dI

am

alw

ays

lear

ning

and

grow

ing.

Thi

nkin

g:W

eha

veup

san

ddo

wns

inlif

e,th

atpr

oves

I’m

hu

man

and

aliv

e,an

dI

am

alw

ays

lear

ning

and

grow

ing.

DE

PR

ES

SIO

NU

nd

erst

and

ing:

Itis

okto

have

goal

sin

life.

The

yse

tlife

inm

otio

n.M

yse

lfw

orth

isno

tdef

ined

bym

ygo

als.

Iam

al

way

sle

arni

ngfr

omlif

e;I

can

notf

ail.

AN

XIE

TY

U

nd

erst

and

ing:

Life

does

noth

ave

tobe

goin

gth

ew

ay I

wan

tfor

itto

beun

fold

ing

corr

ectl

y,or

for

me

toha

veva

lue.

Ido

noth

ave

tota

lcon

trol

over

lif

ean

dit

’sa

bles

sing

that

Ido

n’t.

Oth

erw

ise

Iw

ould

n’tl

earn

and

grow

.

The Health Retreat


1 2

The Journey of Life.

We are encountering and perceiving life events

through our own filters. Everything we encounter took place due to everything that was involved, meaning Cause & Effect.

ReceivingDevelopment and Learning

Through all the experiences we encounter in life, we are learning ways to deal with life and develop wisdom.

Life Not going to Plan

Missing Out OnWants/ Needs

Worthy as aHuman Being.

Reduced SelfWorth/Value

Should Have Behaved Differently Change Beliefs to

ChangeBehaviour

Our true self worthis our value. The unique role

we play in one anothersdevelopment.

We are responding from what we have learnt. Our behaviour is anindicator of our development.

4 3

Dealing with Stress and Upgrading Beliefs

The Health Retreat


Insights

• We need to change the way we are looking at life’s events

• We do this by investigating our beliefs.

• First identify our inaccurate thinking, then direct our

attention to an accurate understanding of the situation.

• We can do this by journaling and processing.

• We need to get out of the little picture of our stress, and

look at the bigger picture in life.

• Learn to develop more appreciation for what we do have.

• Ask better questions.

• What must I be thinking to be feeling this way?

• What can I learn from this?

• What meaning am I giving this?

• Get a different perspective or angle on it.

• Use all your events and experiences to grow.

The Health Retreat


Self Reflection.(Day 2) 1. What do I NOW believe is the cause of my stress (depression and anxiety)?

2. What advice would I now give to my loved ones for a happy life?

3. The next time I am feeling stressed, depressed or anxious, what can I do to alleviatethis feeling? List at least 3 Upgrades from The Wisdom Development Model to startthis process.

The Health Retreat


“I can’t change whathappened, but when I change

the way I look at it, I do change the way I experience

it.”

“Be the change you want to see in the world”

M.K Ghandi.

Healt Retrea€¦ · 27. Quotes 28. Goals 29. Quote 30. Quote 31. Achieve The Right Life Model 32....

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Transcript of Healt Retrea€¦ · 27. Quotes 28. Goals 29. Quote 30. Quote 31. Achieve The Right Life Model 32....