Emotional Intelligence Primer

Helping Leaders drive change and innovation!

McLaughlin Consulting Services [email protected]

609-577-30721

Rich McLaughlinMcLaughlin Consulting Services

[email protected]

Emotional Intelligence Primer



609-577-30722

“Organizations where ego is poorly managed, then have to attract talent primarily by pay, missing the opportunity to attract talent by the opportunities for growth the company provides or the desire people have to work there. The ripple effect is that companies become less competitive and are marginalized by the lack of talent.”

David Marcum

Opening Thought



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Opening Thought

~ Daniel Goleman, Harvard

“The best bosses are people who are trustworthy, empathic, and connected, who make us feel calm, appreciated and inspired. People who feel their boss provides a secure base, are more free to explore, be playful, take risks, innovate and take on new challenges. And if leaders establish such trust and safety, then when they give tough feedback, the person receiving it not only stays more open but sees benefit in getting even hard to take information.”



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Emotional Intelligence

• Self Awareness

• Managing your emotions

• Motivating oneself

• Recognizing emotions in others

• Social Skills

You

Others



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Spinal cord enters brain here

LimbicSystem

(I feel here)

I ThinkRationally

(way over here)

“Since our brains are wired to make us emotional creatures, your first reaction to an event is always going to be an emotional one.”

~ T. Bradberry and J. Greaves, Emotional Intelligence 2.0



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Rich shuts down



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Known to me

Unknown to me

Known by others Unknown by others

Seek Feedback

Build trust or..

Public Self

HiddenPotential

BlindSpot

Private Self

Self-Awareness – Johari Window

have them make it up!



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Seeking Feedback1) Make a live appeal – “Could really use your help here..”

2) Have trusted person send out survey• What is ________doing that you appreciate and want _____to CONTINUE to do?• What would you like ______to STOP doing/do less of?• What would you like ___________ to START doing/do more of?

3) Review data and

4) Thank them and ask if they would come to a clarification meeting facilitated by X

5) Attend and listen and make agreements there or sleep on it and get back to them

do NOT put an action plan together



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Known to me

Unknown to me

Known by others Unknown by others

Seek Feedback

Build trust or..

Public Self

HiddenPotential

BlindSpot

Private Self

have them make it up!



609-577-307210

How Personal?

1) On a scale of 1-10 how personal does it feel here?“1”

People are hesitant to

share anything personal here/

Myself included

“10” People here

know and care about each other and are unafraid to share what’s

going on for them

2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

2) How personal would I like it to be?

2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

1



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Social Awareness

Self Awareness

Managing your emotions

Motivating oneself

Recognizing emotions in others

Social Skills



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High

Low

• Energy Required

Ignoring

Pretend Listening

Selective Listening

Attentive Listening

Empathy

• Relationship Built

Sympathy

Empathy vs. Sympathy



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“A critical task of leadership is to protect space for the expression of people’s doubts. The act of surfacing doubts and dissent does not deflect the communal intention to create something new. What is critical, and hard to live with, is that leaders do not have to respond to each person’s doubts. All we have to do with the doubts of others is get interested in them. We do not have to take them on or let them resonate with our own doubts.”

~ Peter Block



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To what degree is it ok to express doubts here?



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1. Be aware of your emotions and ask for help to manage them

2. Ask for feedback periodically

3. Look for opportunities to “let others in” and be vulnerable

4. Choose empathy/avoid sympathy

5. Encourage airing of doubts without judgement



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"All businesses have one thing in common. They are made up of people. If you treat your people correctly, the business should operate more smoothly. This is true of all businesses, manufacturing and service alike, but it is particularly true of service industries, for human beings are the most critical element.

Andy LawFounder, St. Luke’sAdvertising Agency

Closing Thoughts

Emotional Intelligence Primer

Leadership & Management

Transcript of Emotional Intelligence Primer