emotional intelligence

Understanding Emotional Intelligence& Conflict Resolution Facilitator Gulzar khalfan

Transcript of emotional intelligence

Understanding Emotional Intelligence& Conflict Resolution

FacilitatorGulzar khalfan


• To make participants understand about the concept of Emotional Intelligence (EQ) and highlight its importance in a day-to-day life;

• To let the audience feel the magic of EQ;

• How to deal with people in general and youth in particular with some useful EQ tools, tips and techniques.

What is Emotional Intelligence?

Emotional intelligence (EI) is the ability to understand and manage your own emotions, and those of the people around you.

Emotional intelligence (EI) is the capacity for understanding our own feelings and the feelings of others, for motivating ourselves, and for managing our emotions effectively in our relationships.

Emotional intelligence is sometimes referred to as “people smarts.”

History of Emotional Intelligence

David Wechsler

Robert Thorndike

Howard Gardner 1983 Howard Gardner began to write about Multiple Intelligence.• Intrapersonal • Interpersonal

• Salovey & Mayer in 1990 first proposed their theory of emotional intelligence (EI) and defined it.

• Daniel Goleman in early 1990s became aware of Salovey & Mayer’s work. He has popularized the concept of emotional intelligence and formulated EI in terms of a theory of job and work performance and this led to the book Emotional Intelligence.

Differences between EQ and IQ

Clusters of Emotional Intelligence

• Emotional self awareness

• Accurate self awareness

• Self confidence


Self-Management• Self-Management is the ability to understand your emotions and then use

that understanding to turn situations to your benefit. • Self-management is also the ability to use your feelings to reason well and

act intentionally. • WHY?• Self-management is important because when people are able to better

managing their emotions, they do better in life.

• The more people allow emotions to control and direct their behavior, the worse they do in life.

• People who are good managers of their emotions are open to change, effective in mood management, consistent in stress management, they are productive, and behave in a reasonable and rational way.

Social Awareness Social awareness refers to how people handle relationships and awareness of

others’ feelings, needs, and concerns.

It is the ability to recognize and appropriately respond to the emotions and feelings of others.

Why? Social awareness is very important for creating and maintaining good working

relationships with other people.

People high in social awareness can feel what other people are feeling and can put themselves in their shoes.

People who are high in social awareness are able to read non-verbal cues, read messages conveyed by facial gestures, posture, eye movement, and body language.

Social Skills Social Skills refers to a proficiency at suggesting desirable responses in others.

People with good social skills are good business leaders, leaders in society, and effective parents who understand that personal success and group or family success are inseparable.

They lead by example, encouraging others in positive ways, validating them and creating trust within them.


Social skills are the basic skills everyone needs to have in order to be effective at anything they do. Not having the basic social skills can severely limit the quality of work that you produce.

What is Conflict?• The concept of conflict , being an outcome of behaviors, is

an integral part of human life. Where ever there is interaction, there is conflict.

• Conflict can be considered as an expression of hostility(unfriendliness or opposition), negative attitudes,

antagonism, aggression, rivalry and misunderstanding.• Conflict is a psychological state of mind when people are in a

dilemma whether to do or not to do a thing, is a state of conflict.

Types of conflicts

Functional Dysfunctional

Techniques to solve conflicts

• Be Prepared: Care enough about your own well-being, your relationships with co-workers and your company, to talk about what is bothering you at work, to talk about conflict.

• Start preparing to resolve conflict by checking your own behavior. What are your hot buttons? Have they been pushed? How have you handled the situation so far? What is your own responsibility in the matter?

• Own up. Take responsibility for your part in the conflict. Do a little soul searching, a little self-examination, before talking it out with the other party.

The sooner you resolve conflict, the easier it is to resolve. Don't wait. Don't let the matter boil into something bigger than it is.

• Don’t Wait

• Find a Private, Neutral Place• Talking about conflict has almost no chance of

succeeding if it’s carried out in public. Nobody likes to be embarrassed in front of peers or made an example of in public. Your goal is to eliminate the tension created by conflict. Privacy will help you.

• Be Aware of Body Language• Be aware of your body language. You convey

information without ever opening your mouth to speak.

• Maintain eye contact.

• Relax your neck and shoulder muscles.

• Be conscious of your expression. Show you care.

• Use a "Please pass the paper" voice: neutral tone, moderate speed and volume, conversational.

• Avoid absolutes like "never" and "always."

• Share Your Feelings• Nine times out of 10, the real conflict is about

feelings, not facts. You can argue about facts all day, but everyone has a right to his or her own feelings. Owning your own feelings, and caring about others', is key to talking about conflict.

• Identify the Problem

• Give specific details, including your own observations, valid documentation, if appropriate, and information from reliable witnesses, if appropriate.

• Listen Actively and with Compassion• Listen actively and remember that things are not

always what they seem. Be ready to be open to the other person’s explanation. Sometimes, getting all the information from the right person changes the entire situation.

• Be ready to respond with compassion. Be interested in how the other person sees the situation differently than you do.

• Find a Solution Together

• Ask the other party for his or her ideas for solving the problem. The person is responsible for his or her own behavior and has the ability to change it. Resolving conflict is not about changing another person. Change is up to each individual.

• Agree on a Plan of Action

• Say what you will do differently in the future and ask the other party to verbalize his or her commitment to change in the future.

• Express Confidence

• Thank the other party for being open with you and express confidence that your work relationship will be better for having talked the problem out.





From ___________________

Memo Activity

Discussion Questions

1. What was your first reaction when you realized you would have to perform your own tasks?2. Do we ever expect others to do things that we ourselves are unwilling to do?3. If this is the case, how does having a diverse team work to our benefit?4. Do we always take the time to consider other perspectives? Why not?5. How might this affect the conflict-resolution process?

What did we learn?

• To put ourselves in someone else’s shoe/place• To experience empathy