Emotional Intelligence - Stritch School of...

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Emotional Intelligence Emotions have taught mankind to reason” ‐ Vauvenargus Patricia McNally, Ed. D Keith Muccino, S.J., M.D.

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  • EmotionalIntelligence

    Emotionshavetaughtmankindtoreason Vauvenargus

    Patricia McNally, Ed. DKeith Muccino, S.J., M.D.

  • LearningObjectivesLearningObjectives

    Whatemotionalintelligence(EI)is. Whyitmatters. WhatEQskillslookslikeinaction. TheconnectionbetweenEQandyoursuccess.

    We are about to explore

  • EmotionalIntelligence

    Example#1 Example#2

  • Example#3

  • WhatisEmotionalIntelligence?WhatisEmotionalIntelligence?

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    Emotional Intelligence, quite simply, is the ability to make healthy adaptive choices

    Based on ability to identify, understand and manage our emotions and the emotions of others.

    Mitchel Adler, Psy. D

  • Nolongerconsideredsoftskills

    Measuredandquantified,evidencesupportsclaims

    Skillscanbelearnedatanyage,mayprogressovertime

    Contributetopersonal&professionalsuccessjustasmuchasknowledgeandcompetency

  • WhyisEQCritical?WhyisEQCritical?Self-Knowledge and success in relationships are critical competencies

    EQ impacts & predicts of performance

    Changes in the emotional brain are possible- due to neuroplasticity

  • WhatisEQPhysically?WhatisEQPhysically?

    We feel first

    Stimulus

    Understanding Then we assign meaning

    EQ combines The Two

  • EQ

    A little effort grows a lot!

    Time

    Managem

    ent Stre

    ssMg

    mt

    AngerManagement

    Colla

    borat

    ionCo

    nfiden

    ce

    Comm

    unica

    tion

    Presen

    tation

    Skills

    Team Work

    Accountability

    Assertiveness

    Decision Making

  • Glad

    Mad

    Sad

    Afraid

    AshamedTherestoftheemotionstendtobeblendsofthese

  • IntensityofFeeling

    Happy Sad Angry Afraid Ashamed

    High ElatedExcitedOverjoyedThrilledEcstatic

    DepressedDejectedSorrowfulMiserableHopeless

    FuriousEnragedIrate

    TerrifiedPetrifiedPanickyFranticShocked

    RemorsefulMortifiedSorrowfulDisgraced

    Medium CheerfulSatisfied

    DistressedMelancholy

    UpsetFrustrated

    ApprehensiveUneasy

    EmbarrassedApologetic

    Low GladPleased

    BlueDisappointed

    AnnoyedPerturbed

    CautiousWorried

    ShyMeek

  • TheFourEQSkillsTheFourEQSkills

    Personal Competence

    SelfAwareness

    What I See What I Do

    SelfManagement

    Social Competence

    SocialAwareness

    RelationshipManagement

  • Personal Competency

    Two DomainsEach domain has its own specified skills

    Self-Awareness Self-Management Emotional Awareness/Recognition Emotional Self-Control Accurate Self Assessment Transparency Insightfulness Integrity

    Adaptability Achievement ConfidenceInitiative

  • SelfAwarenessis

    SelfAwareness

    SelfManagement

    SocialAwareness

    RelationshipManagement

    The ability to accurately recognize your emotions as they happen andunderstand your general tendencies for responding to different people and situations.

  • 1. QuitTreatingYourFeelingsasGoodorBad

    2. ObservetheRippleEffectofYourEmotions

    3. LeanintoYourDiscomfort

    4. KnowWhoandWhatPushesYourButtons.Why?

    5. StepBackandLookatYourself(Objectively)(instresstimes)

    6. DontBeFooledbyaBadMood

    7. DontBeFooledbyaGoodMood

    8. AskwhyYouDotheThingsYouDo

    9. RevisitYourValues

    10. SeekFeedback

  • Strategy Example

    QuittreatingFeelingsasGoodofBadDontbefooledbyGoodMoodDontbefooledbyBadMood

    FeelingfalselyconfidentFeelingbesiegedwhenyoustandupforwhatsright

    ConsidertheRippleEffectofYourEmotions Whathappenswhenemotionsareexpressed?

    LeanintoYourDiscomfort Needtofeelcomfortableexploringthenegatives.Acceptancebegetsfurtherexploration,growth

    KnowWho,WhatpushesyourButtons.AndWhy

    Canwebehonestwithourtriggerpoints,anticipatethemandhavestrategiesformanagingthem?

    StepandLookatYourself Seethewholepicture

    AskWhyyouDotheThingsyouDo Gettothesourceofyourfeelings

    RevisitYourValues Iswhatyouvalueinalignmentwithhowyouconductyourself?

    Seek&AcceptFeedback Stepoutfrommerelyyourownperspective

  • SelfSelfManagementManagement

    SelfAwareness

    SelfManagement

    SocialAwareness

    RelationshipManagement

    Using awareness of your emotions to choose what you say and do, in order to positively direct your behavior toward a proper goal

  • 1. BreatheRight,CounttoTen,SleeponIt

    2. Emotionvs ReasonCheckList

    3. MakeyourGoalsClear&Public

    4. TalktoaSkilledSelfManager

    5. SetAsideTimeforProblemSolving

    6. TakeControlofYourSelfTalk

    7. VisualizeYourselfSucceeding

    8. FocusonYourFreedoms,NotLimitation

    9. TaketimetoRechargeMentally

    10. LearnSomethingfromEveryone

  • Strategy Example

    SelfPossession CounttoTen,Breathe,SleeponIt

    DistinguishEmotionfromRational Allowsyoutotakeaccountoftheimportanceofemotionswithoutlettingthemcontrolyou.Allowsbothtooperate

    MakeYourGoalsPublic HoldsYouasWellasOtherstoAccountability

    TalktoaSkilledSelfManager Advisors,Mentor,Coach

    SetAsideTimeforProblemSolving Dontrushtoquickfix

    TakeControlofYourSelfTalk Thetapesthatplayinourheadsthatcanbringusdownorholdusback

    VisualizeYourselfSucceeding Pictureyourselfinthatrightspace

    FocusonYourFreedom,NotyourLimitations

    TakeTimetoReChargeMentallyImproveyourSleepHabits

    GainPerspectiveDontjustSleep,SleepWell

    LearnSomethingFromEveryone AreYourInteractionswithOthersDebatesorDialogues?

  • TwoDomains:SocialAwarenessRelationshipManagementEmpathy AbilitytoInspireothers

    OrganizationalAwarenessAbility toInfluenceothers

    Develop/MentorothersChangeagentConflictmanagementBridgebuildingTeamwork&Collaboration

  • SocialSocialAwarenessAwareness

    SelfAwareness

    SelfManagement

    SocialAwareness

    RelationshipManagement

    Recognizing and understanding the emotions and perspectives of others.

  • 1. GreetPeoplebyName

    2. UnderstandtheRulesoftheCulture

    3. WatchBodyLanguage

    4. CatchmoodoftheRoom

    5. DontTakeNotes

    6. PlanaheadforMeetingsorSocialGatherings

    7. Focusonwhatsbeforeyou

    8. TestforAccuracy

    9. PutYourselfinTheirShoes

    10. SeektheWholePicture

  • Strategy Example

    GreetPeoplebyName Opensthedoortoyourawarenessandknowledgeofthosearoundyou

    CatchMoodoftheRoomReadBodyLanguageSeektheWholePicture

    AssessandInterpret

    UnderstandtheRulesoftheCulture Prepareahead

    ClearAwayDistractionsDontTakeWrittenNotesBeintheMomentFocusonWhatsBeforeYou

    Iftheystandbetweenyouandwhatyouaremeanttobefocusingon

    TimingisImportant Dontbein/saytherightplace/rightthingatthewrongtime!

    PlanAheadforSocialMoments Freesupyourmentalenergytoallowyoutobepresent

    PutYourselfinTheirShoes Empathize,empathize,empathize

    TestforAccuracy Besureyouhaveitright.Showsyouarelistening

  • RelationshipManagementRelationshipManagement

    SelfAwareness

    SelfManagement

    SocialAwareness

    RelationshipManagement

    Using awareness of your emotions and the emotions of others to manage interactions successfully.

  • 1. BeOpenandCurious(Dialoguenotdebate)

    2. ThinkWin/WinnotWin/Lose

    3. EnhanceyourNaturalCommunicationStyle

    4. AcknowledgetheOtherPersonsFeelings

    5. AvoidgivingMixedSignals

    6. TakeFeedbackWell

    7. WorktoBuildTrust

    8. MaintainanOpenDoorPolicy

    9. OnlyGetMadforaPurpose

    10. DontAvoidtheDifficultortheInevitable

    11. RememberthatLittleThingsHelp(kindness,politeness)

  • 11. AcknowledgetheOtherPersonsEmotionsorSituation

    12. WhenyouCare,ShowIt

    13. ExplainYourDecisions,DontJustMakeThem

    14. MakeYourFeedbackDirectandConstructive

    15. AlignYourIntentionwithYourImpact

    16. OfferaFixItStatementduringaBrokenConversation

  • Strategy Example

    BeOpenandCurious AllowsOtherstoKnowYouandYoutoLearnmoreabouttheOtherGivescontexttorelationship!

    WorkonyourNaturalStyleofCommunication Gettoknowyourweaknessesandstrengths

    AcknowledgetheOtherPersonsFeelings BuildsfoundationforRelationship

    DontgiveMixedSignalsMatchyourWordstoyourFeelingsWorktoBuildTrust

    PeoplecangetconfusedPeoplecanseethroughyou

    MaintainOpenDoorPolicy KeepyourselfavailabletoOthers

    OnlygetMadforaPurposeExplainYourDecisions,DontJustMakeThem

    Itsoktostatenegativeemotionsiftheyarechanneledtobebeneficialforall

    DontAvoidtheInevitableortheDifficultMakeFeedbackDirect&Constructive

    ThingswontjustgoawayYouowethistotheotherPerson

    UseaFixItStatementDuringaBrokenConversation

    IrealizenowthatImisunderstoodyouIseehowhardthisisforyou

    WhenyouCareShowItAlignYourIntentionwithYourActions

    ButrememberthatthefinalarbiterisnotwhatyouintendbywhattheotherPERCEIVES.

  • Myth:Physicianbehaviorwillchangewhentheyseedatathatdemonstratestheirconductimpactspatientcareandtheareoutliers amongtheirpeers.

    Fact:

    Emotions,valuesandbeliefshaveafargreaterinfluenceoverbehaviorthanknowledge.Understressfulcircumstances,humanfactorsandconditionedresponsesusuallytrumpknowledgeandintellect

  • NO!Theyrenosubstituteforclinicalcompetency!

    BUTEIskillsarethemissinglinkthatcanhelpbettertranslatecompetencytoperformance

  • Behavioreffectsperformance,buthowwethinkandfeeleffectsourbehavior

    Changingbehaviorisdifficultbecauseoftenrequiresrewiring

    Addressingperformanceproblemsthroughpolicies,guidelines,etc.usuallyineffective

    Mustaddresshowthepersonfeelsandrespondstofeelingsinordertochangehowtheyact

  • UseEQSkillsToUseEQSkillsTo

    Knowyourself

    Understandothers

    Makebetterdecisions

    Seeandseizeopportunities

    Identifyproblemsbeforetheyescalate

    Managedifficultsituationsandconversations

  • EQIncreasesWithAgeEQIncreasesWithAge

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    1819 2029 3039 4049 5059 60+

  • AFinalThoughtAFinalThought In the fields I have studied, emotional intelligence is much more powerful than IQ in determining who emerges as a leader.

    IQ is a threshold competence.You need it , but it doesnt make you a star.

    Emotional intelligence can!

    Warren Bennis, author of On Becoming a Leader

  • Acknowledgements

  • Howdoweovercomethem?

  • Howdoweovercomethem?