EmotionalIntelligence

Emotionshavetaughtmankindtoreason Vauvenargus

Patricia McNally, Ed. DKeith Muccino, S.J., M.D.

LearningObjectivesLearningObjectives

Whatemotionalintelligence(EI)is. Whyitmatters. WhatEQskillslookslikeinaction. TheconnectionbetweenEQandyoursuccess.

We are about to explore

EmotionalIntelligence

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WhatisEmotionalIntelligence?WhatisEmotionalIntelligence?

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Emotional Intelligence, quite simply, is the ability to make healthy adaptive choices

Based on ability to identify, understand and manage our emotions and the emotions of others.

Mitchel Adler, Psy. D

Nolongerconsideredsoftskills

Measuredandquantified,evidencesupportsclaims

Skillscanbelearnedatanyage,mayprogressovertime

Contributetopersonal&professionalsuccessjustasmuchasknowledgeandcompetency

WhyisEQCritical?WhyisEQCritical?Self-Knowledge and success in relationships are critical competencies

EQ impacts & predicts of performance

Changes in the emotional brain are possible- due to neuroplasticity

WhatisEQPhysically?WhatisEQPhysically?

We feel first

Stimulus

Understanding Then we assign meaning

EQ combines The Two

EQ

A little effort grows a lot!

Time

Managem

ent Stre

ssMg

mt

AngerManagement

Colla

borat

ionCo

nfiden

ce

Comm

unica

tion

Presen

tation

Skills

Team Work

Accountability

Assertiveness

Decision Making

Glad

Mad

Sad

Afraid

AshamedTherestoftheemotionstendtobeblendsofthese

IntensityofFeeling

Happy Sad Angry Afraid Ashamed

High ElatedExcitedOverjoyedThrilledEcstatic

DepressedDejectedSorrowfulMiserableHopeless

FuriousEnragedIrate

TerrifiedPetrifiedPanickyFranticShocked

RemorsefulMortifiedSorrowfulDisgraced

Medium CheerfulSatisfied

DistressedMelancholy

UpsetFrustrated

ApprehensiveUneasy

EmbarrassedApologetic

Low GladPleased

BlueDisappointed

AnnoyedPerturbed

CautiousWorried

ShyMeek

TheFourEQSkillsTheFourEQSkills

Personal Competence

SelfAwareness

What I See What I Do

SelfManagement

Social Competence

SocialAwareness

RelationshipManagement

Personal Competency

Two DomainsEach domain has its own specified skills

Self-Awareness Self-Management Emotional Awareness/Recognition Emotional Self-Control Accurate Self Assessment Transparency Insightfulness Integrity

Adaptability Achievement ConfidenceInitiative

SelfAwarenessis

SelfAwareness

SelfManagement

SocialAwareness

RelationshipManagement

The ability to accurately recognize your emotions as they happen andunderstand your general tendencies for responding to different people and situations.

1. QuitTreatingYourFeelingsasGoodorBad

2. ObservetheRippleEffectofYourEmotions

3. LeanintoYourDiscomfort

4. KnowWhoandWhatPushesYourButtons.Why?

5. StepBackandLookatYourself(Objectively)(instresstimes)

6. DontBeFooledbyaBadMood

7. DontBeFooledbyaGoodMood

8. AskwhyYouDotheThingsYouDo

9. RevisitYourValues

10. SeekFeedback

Strategy Example

QuittreatingFeelingsasGoodofBadDontbefooledbyGoodMoodDontbefooledbyBadMood

FeelingfalselyconfidentFeelingbesiegedwhenyoustandupforwhatsright

ConsidertheRippleEffectofYourEmotions Whathappenswhenemotionsareexpressed?

LeanintoYourDiscomfort Needtofeelcomfortableexploringthenegatives.Acceptancebegetsfurtherexploration,growth

KnowWho,WhatpushesyourButtons.AndWhy

Canwebehonestwithourtriggerpoints,anticipatethemandhavestrategiesformanagingthem?

StepandLookatYourself Seethewholepicture

AskWhyyouDotheThingsyouDo Gettothesourceofyourfeelings

RevisitYourValues Iswhatyouvalueinalignmentwithhowyouconductyourself?

Seek&AcceptFeedback Stepoutfrommerelyyourownperspective

SelfSelfManagementManagement

SelfAwareness

SelfManagement

SocialAwareness

RelationshipManagement

Using awareness of your emotions to choose what you say and do, in order to positively direct your behavior toward a proper goal

1. BreatheRight,CounttoTen,SleeponIt

2. Emotionvs ReasonCheckList

3. MakeyourGoalsClear&Public

4. TalktoaSkilledSelfManager

5. SetAsideTimeforProblemSolving

6. TakeControlofYourSelfTalk

7. VisualizeYourselfSucceeding

8. FocusonYourFreedoms,NotLimitation

9. TaketimetoRechargeMentally

10. LearnSomethingfromEveryone

Strategy Example

SelfPossession CounttoTen,Breathe,SleeponIt

DistinguishEmotionfromRational Allowsyoutotakeaccountoftheimportanceofemotionswithoutlettingthemcontrolyou.Allowsbothtooperate

MakeYourGoalsPublic HoldsYouasWellasOtherstoAccountability

TalktoaSkilledSelfManager Advisors,Mentor,Coach

SetAsideTimeforProblemSolving Dontrushtoquickfix

TakeControlofYourSelfTalk Thetapesthatplayinourheadsthatcanbringusdownorholdusback

VisualizeYourselfSucceeding Pictureyourselfinthatrightspace

FocusonYourFreedom,NotyourLimitations

TakeTimetoReChargeMentallyImproveyourSleepHabits

GainPerspectiveDontjustSleep,SleepWell

LearnSomethingFromEveryone AreYourInteractionswithOthersDebatesorDialogues?

TwoDomains:SocialAwarenessRelationshipManagementEmpathy AbilitytoInspireothers

OrganizationalAwarenessAbility toInfluenceothers

Develop/MentorothersChangeagentConflictmanagementBridgebuildingTeamwork&Collaboration

SocialSocialAwarenessAwareness

SelfAwareness

SelfManagement

SocialAwareness

RelationshipManagement

Recognizing and understanding the emotions and perspectives of others.

1. GreetPeoplebyName

2. UnderstandtheRulesoftheCulture

3. WatchBodyLanguage

4. CatchmoodoftheRoom

5. DontTakeNotes

6. PlanaheadforMeetingsorSocialGatherings

7. Focusonwhatsbeforeyou

8. TestforAccuracy

9. PutYourselfinTheirShoes

10. SeektheWholePicture

Strategy Example

GreetPeoplebyName Opensthedoortoyourawarenessandknowledgeofthosearoundyou

CatchMoodoftheRoomReadBodyLanguageSeektheWholePicture

AssessandInterpret

UnderstandtheRulesoftheCulture Prepareahead

ClearAwayDistractionsDontTakeWrittenNotesBeintheMomentFocusonWhatsBeforeYou

Iftheystandbetweenyouandwhatyouaremeanttobefocusingon

TimingisImportant Dontbein/saytherightplace/rightthingatthewrongtime!

PlanAheadforSocialMoments Freesupyourmentalenergytoallowyoutobepresent

PutYourselfinTheirShoes Empathize,empathize,empathize

TestforAccuracy Besureyouhaveitright.Showsyouarelistening

RelationshipManagementRelationshipManagement

SelfAwareness

SelfManagement

SocialAwareness

RelationshipManagement

Using awareness of your emotions and the emotions of others to manage interactions successfully.

1. BeOpenandCurious(Dialoguenotdebate)

2. ThinkWin/WinnotWin/Lose

3. EnhanceyourNaturalCommunicationStyle

4. AcknowledgetheOtherPersonsFeelings

5. AvoidgivingMixedSignals

6. TakeFeedbackWell

7. WorktoBuildTrust

8. MaintainanOpenDoorPolicy

9. OnlyGetMadforaPurpose

10. DontAvoidtheDifficultortheInevitable

11. RememberthatLittleThingsHelp(kindness,politeness)

11. AcknowledgetheOtherPersonsEmotionsorSituation

12. WhenyouCare,ShowIt

13. ExplainYourDecisions,DontJustMakeThem

14. MakeYourFeedbackDirectandConstructive

15. AlignYourIntentionwithYourImpact

16. OfferaFixItStatementduringaBrokenConversation

Strategy Example

BeOpenandCurious AllowsOtherstoKnowYouandYoutoLearnmoreabouttheOtherGivescontexttorelationship!

WorkonyourNaturalStyleofCommunication Gettoknowyourweaknessesandstrengths

AcknowledgetheOtherPersonsFeelings BuildsfoundationforRelationship

DontgiveMixedSignalsMatchyourWordstoyourFeelingsWorktoBuildTrust

PeoplecangetconfusedPeoplecanseethroughyou

MaintainOpenDoorPolicy KeepyourselfavailabletoOthers

OnlygetMadforaPurposeExplainYourDecisions,DontJustMakeThem

Itsoktostatenegativeemotionsiftheyarechanneledtobebeneficialforall

DontAvoidtheInevitableortheDifficultMakeFeedbackDirect&Constructive

ThingswontjustgoawayYouowethistotheotherPerson

UseaFixItStatementDuringaBrokenConversation

IrealizenowthatImisunderstoodyouIseehowhardthisisforyou

WhenyouCareShowItAlignYourIntentionwithYourActions

ButrememberthatthefinalarbiterisnotwhatyouintendbywhattheotherPERCEIVES.

Myth:Physicianbehaviorwillchangewhentheyseedatathatdemonstratestheirconductimpactspatientcareandtheareoutliers amongtheirpeers.

Fact:

Emotions,valuesandbeliefshaveafargreaterinfluenceoverbehaviorthanknowledge.Understressfulcircumstances,humanfactorsandconditionedresponsesusuallytrumpknowledgeandintellect

NO!Theyrenosubstituteforclinicalcompetency!

BUTEIskillsarethemissinglinkthatcanhelpbettertranslatecompetencytoperformance

Behavioreffectsperformance,buthowwethinkandfeeleffectsourbehavior

Changingbehaviorisdifficultbecauseoftenrequiresrewiring

Addressingperformanceproblemsthroughpolicies,guidelines,etc.usuallyineffective

Mustaddresshowthepersonfeelsandrespondstofeelingsinordertochangehowtheyact

UseEQSkillsToUseEQSkillsTo

Knowyourself

Understandothers

Makebetterdecisions

Seeandseizeopportunities

Identifyproblemsbeforetheyescalate

Managedifficultsituationsandconversations

EQIncreasesWithAgeEQIncreasesWithAge

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AFinalThoughtAFinalThought In the fields I have studied, emotional intelligence is much more powerful than IQ in determining who emerges as a leader.

IQ is a threshold competence.You need it , but it doesnt make you a star.

Emotional intelligence can!

Warren Bennis, author of On Becoming a Leader

Acknowledgements

Howdoweovercomethem?

Howdoweovercomethem?