Emotional intelligence Pocket Skills guide

Understanding People and Building Valued Relationships Using

Emotional IntelligencePocket Skills Guide

2©Rothwell Douglas Ltd. 2016

“Acknowledging and understanding the influence of emotions on ourselves and others, and responding using integrity and intuition to guide behaviour and effective outcomes.”

– Jan Childs (2006)

What is Emotional Intelligence (EQ)?


The traditional measure of Intelligence has long been based on our intellectual ability (IQ), ever since psychologist William Stern developed the scoring method in 1912.

Mental AgeChronological Age

X100

However…

Brief History: The Emergence of EQ


…This method of measuring IQ, though unquestioned over time, caused a stir and provoked the ongoing debate of Nature vs Nurture, whether IQ was defined by our genes or by our awareness and experience.

VS



Fast forward to 1995 and Harvard graduate Daniel Goleman soon turned this debate on its head, by introducing a new perspective of what it means to be intelligent through the concept of…

Emotional Intelligence.



As a result of the emergence of Emotional Intelligence (EQ), the traditional measure of intelligence is now accepted in playing a less significant role in defining our human capacity to manage in a world of accelerating change and complexity. We need both EQ and IQ to make good judgements.



Emotional Intelligence (EQ) has traditionally been referred to as interpersonal skill, maturity, common sense, wisdom or character.

However…

We now understand far more about how EQ works and how we can develop it.

EQ


EQ

Understanding of emotions

Awareness of how individuals differ in thinking and behaviour

EQ requires….

…so therefore can be challenging to put into practice, especially for those who experience discomfort when dealing with emotions (their own and others)…


…for those who prefer intellectual reasoning...

…and for those who want to avoid the personal implications of the need for behaviour change.

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©Rothwell Douglas Ltd. 2016

Evidence of EQ

The impact of the development of EQ has been extensively evident in Military and in Business sectors across the world.

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EQ Development

EQ development is driven by:

① Our desire to increase personal well being.

② Our most rewarding relationships.

③ Our ability to address continual emerging challenges in the world.

④ Our ability to resolve intractable and destructive conflict.

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High EQ provides a clear competitive advantage and is seen in improved individual, team and organisational performance.

The key to developing EQ is: 1. Self Awareness2. Reflective Practice3. Personal Flexibility and Behaviour Management. 4. Openness to Learn

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Emotional Awareness

Adapting behaviour to improve relationships,

interpersonal dynamics and performance.

Understanding others’ emotions, motivations,

and personal traits.

Self awareness&

emotional management

Adapting behaviour to discover better

outcomes & goal achievement

Self

Oth

ers

Self Others

Behaviour Management

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There is a progression from a thought to a feeling and then to an emotion.

Thoughts and feelings tend to be more momentary, however they can progress to emotions according to their intensity.

Emotions are more intense and last longer as a “state of mind”.

Thoughts What we

think

Emotions What we feel

Behaviour What we do

What’s the Difference Between Emotions and Feelings?

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“It is hard to overestimate the importance of emotions in our lives – we organise our lives to maximize the experience of positive emotions and to minimize the experience of negative emotions” – Paul Ekman (2014)

EmotionsSubjective experience Expressive behaviour

Neuro-Chemical Activity

The Impact of Emotions on Our Lives

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“We are more likely to recognise and respond to negative emotions such as anger, fear & anxiety because they trigger a physiological response that we are more immediately aware of.”

Tip Alert:

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Emotions help us make sense of our experiences and the circumstances we find ourselves in. They trigger our most primitive reactions designed for survival, e.g.;

Fight Flight or Face Freeze

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Being able to accurately tune into both our own & others’ inner thoughts and feelings means we are better able to manage our own & others’ emotional responses in a constructive and outcome-focused way.

Catching the thought or feeling early can alter the outcome by turning the negative into a positive.

It provides a big step forward in improving communication, trust, relationships, well-being, culture, and goal attainment.

Developing an early stage awareness

Tip Alert:

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Self-Esteem- How you feel & think about yourself

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent” – Eleanor

Roosevelt

The power of emotions has a significant impact on our level of self esteem, dignity, self respect, and self worth.

Self-Esteem

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Attitude towards

Self

Feelings about Self

High Self Esteem & Confidence

low Self Worth/Self Efficacy

Self- Deprecation/Poor

Self EsteemNarcissism or

Arrogance

Positi

ve A

ttitu

des

Neg

ative

Atti

tude

s

Negative Feelings Positive Feelings

Self-Esteem

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“We decide emotionally, then justify intellectually” – Daniel Kahneman

Emotions affect our physiological and psychological wellbeing as well as our decision-making and performance.

Emotions

Emotions, Intuitions & Decision-Making

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Our most skilled cognitive performances are intuitive.

Research shows that complex, instinctive, speedy judgments can be as effective as those made following detailed analysis when we demonstrate effective control of our emotions.

Intuitive decision-making involves the adaptive unconscious part of our brain with the rapid data processing involved in making quick, effective judgments based on little information. Moreover, EQ involves the rapid conscious & unconscious interconnection between thought, feelings and emotions which triggers a more adaptive response.

The ability to read people’s body language and subtle non-verbal messages we give out enhances our ability to make a rapid adjustment in our own behaviour to bring out a better response in others.

Emotions, Intuitions & Decision-Making

Tip Alert:

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• Principles are fundamental general truths.

• Values represent distinct personal differences between people in what is held to be true and of value.

• Behaviour is what people do that can be observed.

Integrity can be described as ‘the steadfast adherence to a strict moral or ethical code’. In other words… doing the right thing!

It emerges when principles, values, and behaviour align and the individual holds themselves accountable for their actions.

Integrity and Emotional Competence

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Values that support high levels of emotional competence are:

• RESPECT

• OPENNESS

• HONESTY

• WILLINGNESS TO LEARN AND CHANGE


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Behaviours that support emotional competence are:

• SELF REFLECTION & INSIGHT

• CONCERN FOR OTHERS

• SELF MANAGEMENT & ADAPTATION


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A fundamental truth in Emotional Competence is “to do unto others you would have done to yourself” – it is the basis of all main religions of the world… and across the galaxy!


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Trust is the intangible but critical constituent that binds effective relationships together, and it is fundamental to successful communications.

Trust builds high value personal relationships and is the very essence of human wellbeing.

Trust in team working achieves high level productivity and achievement through enhanced task interdependency. It also enables leaders to set out on a new path which others will follow.

The Significance of Trust

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Trust means having reliance on and confidence in the integrity of the people you work with. For it to flourish, the principles, values, and behaviours people operate by must align in the pursuit of common purpose.

Authenticity is at the root of trust based relationships. i.e. what people say and espouse is what they actually do.

It means being open, honest, respecting and valuing others, keeping confidences, showing opinions, giving and receiving constructive feedback, and providing practical and emotional support.

Finally…

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Transforming the Experience of Work…Releasing Potential in People

Empowering Effective TeamsDriving Innovation

in OrganisationsConnecting

Expertise across Systems

Email: [email protected]: 02083262739

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Emotional intelligence Pocket Skills guide

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