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What is Emotional Intelligence (EI)?

Who Needs

BY BYRON STOCK

Due to the pressures both at work and in ourpersonal lives, people from every walk of life expe-rience emotions that keep them from doing theirbest. These “negative” emotions not only don’t feelgood, they inhibit one’s ability to think clearly andcommunicate effectively. In the following samples,you’ll find typical situations from a variety of posi-tions or jobs where this happens. Find a job title(see list below) similar to yours and read throughthe description on the following pages. I think you’llfind the description reflects what typically occursin your job and why developing your emotional in-telligence skills can be beneficial for you, your or-ganization, and the people you interact with daily,both at work and at home.

• Customer Service Representatives• Executives• High Potential People• Sales Professionals• Supervisors/Managers• Teams• Team Leaders/Project Managers• Technical Professionals• Staff

Customer Service Representatives (CSR’s)Customer service representatives deal with an-

gry, frustrated customers continuously throughouttheir day. They find themselves being verballyabused through no fault of their own. Thecustomer’s anger, frustration and rage can causerepresentatives to become nervous, mad, disgusted,and angry themselves. If the representative doesnot have a high level of EI skills, the discussion mayescalate and require the intervention of the CS Su-pervisor. Or worse, it can cause the company tolose that customer. An upset customer will typi-cally tell 10-15 friends about the poor treatment theyreceived. CSRs who have enhanced their EI skillscan easily manage their emotional reactiveness toangry customers, maintain a calm, polite and sin-cere attitude and conversation with customers in-the-moment. Being able to empathize with the up-set customer allows for faster, more effective prob-lem-solving and better communication. Maintain-ing customer satisfaction in the face of adversityand conflict builds customer loyalty. Loyal custom-ers tell their friends. Higher customer loyalty leadsto higher profitability.

Emotional

Emotional Intelligence (EI) is the ability to acquire and apply knowledge from your emotions and theemotions of others. You can use the information about what you’re feeling to help you make effectivedecisions about what to say or do (or not say or do) next. Emotional Intelligence is NOT about being soft!It is a different way of being smart — having the skill to use your emotions to help you make choices in-the-moment and have more effective control over yourself and your impact on others.

Intelligence Skills?

Who Could Benefit From EI Skill Enhancement?

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What are the Competencies of Emotional Intelligence?

ExecutivesExecutives must make decisions daily that may

make or break their companies. They must rely onmore people than ever to achieve results they, per-sonally, are held accountable for by the board. Theymust quickly and flexibly lead system-wide organi-zational change, while inspiring and energizing theirfollowers. This constant, burdensome pressure cancreate feelings of anxiety, fear, caution, and evenguilt and depression. The wrong decision, an un-timely decision or no decision may cause “TheStreet” to undervalue the company, hampering itsability to meet its goals and stockholder expecta-tions. Research has shown that high EI skills arethe distinguishing characteristics that separate starperforming executives from average ones. Enhanc-

ing leaders’ EI skills enables them to lead with cour-age, demonstrate their passion, grow and retain tal-ented leaders, and empathize with people while hu-manely challenging them to meet demanding busi-ness goals. The resilient, flexible, strong organiza-tional culture that is created by such a leader at-tracts talented people, ensures organizational suc-cess (through thick and thin), and creates a lastinglegacy.

High Potential PeopleHigh potential people take on demanding mul-

tiple projects and leadership roles. Unforeseenevents occur that delay or derail critical businessinitiatives under their responsibility. They have dailycontact with customers, suppliers and even competi-

Emotional Self-Awareness

NuturingRelationships

Emotional Self-Regulation

Emotional Self-Motivation

Empathy

Figure 1: Emotional Intelligence Competencies

There are five basic competencies thatcomprise the field of Emotional Intelligence.The first three are intra-personal, that is theyare invisible to others and occur inside ofus. The last two are inter-person, that isthey occur between us and other peopleand are observable in our behavior. Thebetter developed your intra-personal skills,the easier it is to demonstrate your inter-personal skills.

1. Emotional Self-Awareness —Having the skill to focus your atten-tion on your emotional state. Beingaware, in-the-moment, of what you’refeeling. Are you happy, excited,worried, angry? Given that informa-tion about your emotional state, whatshould (or shouldn’t) you do or saynext? Use that information to helpyou make effective decisions toachieve better outcomes for yourselfand others.

2. Emotional Self-Regulation —Having the skill to be able to choosethe emotions you want to experience,rather than being the victim ofwhatever emotions occur. Not lettingothers “push your buttons.” Possess-ing the ability to manage your

emotional state. Do not confuse thiswith “burying” or “stuffing” yourfeelings. The skill to choose theemotions you want — typically to beable to transform negative drainingemotional states into positive produc-tive ones.

3. Emotional Self-Motivation — Theability to use your emotions to causeyourself to take positive action, tocontinue to persistently pursue goalseven in the face of significant adver-sity or difficulty. This is about usingyour emotions to be positive, optimis-tic, confident, and persistent ratherthan negative, pessimistic and secondguessing yourself and your decisions.

4. Empathy — Not to be confusedwith sympathy. Possessing theability to listen effectively andaccurately enough to putyourself in the otherperson’s shoes. Not tonecessarily agree withthem, but to trulyunderstand thesituation fromtheir point ofview in

order to improve communication,problem-solving, and trust.

5. Nurturing Relationships — Theability to demonstrate sincere care (ascontrasted with “required courtesy”)for others. Through word and deed,demonstrate appreciation for people’sefforts and contribution. Setting apositive tone of cooperation no matterhow difficult the situation or conversa-tion. Having other’s best interests inmind while focusing on achieving

goals to create win-win out-comes.

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tors who are often irate and threatening. Hun-dreds of emails demand immediate attention. Thesesituations can cause the person to feel anxious, fear-ful and overwhelmed. They may feel frustratedthat things are not moving faster and may worrythat problems are hurting their career. Negativeemotions lead to poor decisions and multi-milliondollar flubs. Products flop and marketing cam-paigns go awry as critical details fall through thecracks. A shallow talent pool can keep the com-pany from developing new products and services,crippling its chances in its industry. Research hasshown that high EI skills are the distinguishing char-acteristic that separate star performers from av-erage ones. The earlier these skills are developedand ingrained, the more likely High Potentials andthe company are to experience success. Ensuringthat high potential people develop their EI skills tothe fullest ensures a cadre of competent global lead-ers available to introduce new products, start newbusinesses, and lead the integration of new acqui-sitions.

Sales ProfessionalsSales people frequently work with difficult pros-

pects and customers. They often find themselvesin adversarial situations over price, features, deliv-ery schedules, etc. These situations can generateanxiety, fear, frustration or even outright angeron the part of both the salesperson and the cus-tomer. This can lead to a vicious negative emo-tional cycle where sales decline, sales people aredemotivated, and customers are unsatisfied andleave. Enhancing EI skills allows the sales personto have more control over themselves and thus thesituation. They are not as apt to let the customer“push their buttons.” They can stay mentally fo-cused on the key issues and not “give-away-the-store.” Research shows that the more optimistic asales person is, the higher their volume and salesdollars. Optimism leads to persistence which leadsto more sales. Being able to empathize with thecustomer allows for faster, more effective prob-lem-solving and better communication. Develop-ing strong positive relationships with customers,through thick and thin, ensures higher sales andbetter cooperation when problems do arise.

Supervisors / ManagersSupervisors’ and Managers’ behavior and treat-

ment of their people determine turnover and re-tention. They interact daily with individuals whohave distinct needs, wants and expectations. Theysignificantly influence the attitudes, performance,and satisfaction of employees within their depart-ment and other departments. The stress of tryingto lead and satisfy so many people’s changing needsand expectations can be overwhelming, to say noth-ing of the demands from upper management. Be-ing both firm and caring at the same time causesmany to feel inadequate for the role. Forty per-cent of turnover is reportedly due to an inadequaterelationship between the employee and their directsupervisor. Where trust is lacking, performancesuffers. Enhancing EI skills enables Supervisors andManagers to regulate their emotions and motivatethemselves more effectively — allowing them tomanage their own emotional turmoil effectively anddemonstrate compassion and empathy for theiremployees. It also provides them with the courageto push against the system to make necessarychanges for their people. All employees want a sup-portive, caring Supervisor or Manager who has theirbest interests at heart — knowing this, the employeewill be more likely to turndown offers from othercompanies to work for such a person.

TeamsTeams are shouldering more and more respon-

sibility for major organizational initiatives. Theyare under pressure to work smoothly with peoplethey may never see face-to-face both inside andoutside their organization. Deadlines are tight, re-sources are scarce, technology is rapidly advanc-ing, and team members are constantly changing.It’s easy to be dejected, overwhelmed and confusedas things change about you. It’s normal to feel an-gry when a team member doesn’t deliver, disgustedwhen resources are taken away, and angry whenyou are still expected to meet tight deadlines. Teamcohesion and effectiveness breakdown and progressslows to a creep. Product introductions are missedand market share can be lost to competitors. Teamswith enhanced EI skills can dramatically shorten thestorming phase of team formation. Team membersdeal effectively and efficiently with their own and

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BYRON STOCK, a former engineer and director of corporateeducation, guides individuals and organizations toward ex-cellence by showing them how to use their emotional intelli-gence as a powerful tool to achieve strategic objectives, leadchange, and improve organizational culture. Byron is bestknown as an international speaker and seminar leader, teach-ing people to achieve immediate, significant, and sustainableimprovements in mental clarity and personal productivity.To discuss this article or for more information, email Byronat Byron@ByronStock.com.

© Copyright 2001, Byron Stock & Associates. All rights reserved.

other members emotional turmoil, using it as asource for developing team cohesion and trust.Esprit de corps is developed with a can-do attitude.Major projects of significant importance to the or-ganization are achieved on time and on budget.The organization gains a reputation as a great placeto work and grow.

Team Leaders / Project ManagersTeams Leaders and Project Managers are held

accountable for setting and maintaining a positiveenvironment were very diverse, non-local individu-als can work together to achieve success in shorterand shorter time periods on projects of greatermagnitude and importance. They must eliminateroadblocks and internal and external organizationalbarriers so their teams can achieve success. Work-ing in the political environment of organizationscan cause a lot of frustration, anxiety, suspicion,and resentment as the maze of organizationalchange is deciphered. Teams frustrated by impedi-ments their leaders cannot remove become discour-aged. Team morale sags and projects fall behindschedule. Members leave the team, causing fur-ther delays. Enhancing EI skills of Team Leadersand Project managers enables them to maintain apositive attitude as they eliminate impediments toteam success. By improving their own internal mo-tivation and persistence, they motivate their teamto high sustained levels of performance andachievement. Major projects of significant impor-tance to the organization are achieved on time andon budget. Critical talented staff are developedand retained.

Technical ProfessionalsTechnical Professionals are constantly under

pressure to do more with less faster, better, andcheaper. They work long hard hours to completeprojects. They are challenged to create and inno-vate, interact with a multitude of people from dif-ferent functions, and do tasks, in many cases, theywould like to avoid. These situations can causetechnical professionals to be agitated, resentful,anxious, frustrated, and stressed-out much of theday. These negative emotions cause what is knownas “emotional hijacking” — a physiological response

in the brain that literally keeps people from think-ing clearly. Communication is hampered, moremistakes and errors are made, and creativity isblocked. Enhancing the Technical Professional’sEI skills provides them with what they never weretaught in school - how to manage their own emo-tional reactiveness to people and situations and howto build interpersonal skills that allow them to getother technical colleagues to help them when theyneed it. Strong EI skills ensure that projects arecompleted on schedule, and that they incorporatethe best innovative thinking that is available bothinside and outside the organization.

StaffThe sheer volume of work that most Adminis-

trative Staff must deal with is overwhelming. Theysupport more people who travel more and needmore work done with shorter deadlines for eachtask. New computer systems, new requirements,new policies and procedures, all add to the frustra-tion. Constant minute-by-minute interruptions arethe norm. Is it any wonder they feel completelyoverwhelmed, worried, dejected, confused, fearfuland even guilty by all the various demands and ex-pectations placed on them? These feelings can leadto situations where Staff feel paralyzed by all theyhave to do. Procrastination becomes evident, er-rors and mistakes increase, and feeling like theyhave no control often leads to a depressive statewhere complaining and absenteeism increases.Health, attitude, and morale suffer. Enhanced EIskills enable people to gracefully handle multipledemands, interruptions, and tight deadlines. Pro-cesses, databases, and projects run more smoothly,details do not fall through the cracks, and profes-sional staff are freed-up to focus on their work.