Emotional intelligence

THE IMPORTANCE OFDEVELOPING EMOTIONALINTELLIGENCE

A VITAL LEADERSHIP QUALITY

“Emotional Intelligence is the key to happiness & success in every aspect of your life”

Richard Tredennick-TitchenCopyright 2011 Turkey

WELCOME TO AGORA © “AWARENESS” Copyright: Richard Tredennick-Titchen 2011

AGORA

AGORA asks you to dig out what is already inside you, examine it, and decide what action you need to take, in order to change & exploit your full potential for, happiness & success

Stop & Think

• Cross out six letters from the line so that all the remaining letters in the sequence for one common English word

BSAINXLEATNTEARS

THE ICEBERG

HOW MUCH DO YOU SEE OF AN ICEBERG?

THE ICEBERG

ONLY 10% OF ANY ICEBERG IS VISIBLE

THE REMAINING 90% IS BELOW SEA LEVEL

IQ & EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

• The most successful people in business have high EQ’s

• EQ enables you to have the self confidence to know your strengths & weaknesses & to understand other’s strengths & weaknesses

• Developing your EQ will enable you to conquer fear & anxiety, & lead a richer & more successful life EQ is defined as awareness of your own & other’s beliefs, values & emotions


• Emotionally intelligent people have a high level of self-confidence & self-esteem

• They can accept criticism without feeling hurt or threatened

• They are generally more succesful in their personal relationships, as well as their working lives

• They know where they want to go & how to get there


• Emotionally intelligent people are in control of their emotions

• They are able to manage themselves, as well as others

• They have a positive attitude to life, and are constantly learning new ways to do things

• Their attitude to everything in life is based on a mature belief system

HOW MUCH DO OTHERS SEE OF YOU

SEA LEVELKNOWLEDGE

SKILLS

ATTITUDE

UNKNOWN TO OTHERS

KNOWN TO OTHERS

BENEATH THE SURFACE

SEA LEVELKNOWLEDGE

SKILLS

PERSONALITY,MOTIVATION,

GENES,EXPERIENCES,VALUES THOUGHTS, FEELINGS...

UNKNOWN TO OTHERS

KNOWN TO OTHERS

YOU ARE JUDGED BY YOUR “BEHAVIOUR”

SEA LEVEL

BEHAVIOR

VALUES – STANDARDS – JUDGMENTS

ATTITUDEMOTIVES – ETHICS - BELIEFS

KNOWN TO OTHERS

UNKNOWN TO OTHERS

SELF-AWARENESS

1. EMOTIONAL AWARENESS

Individuals with this competence ...

a. Know which emotions they are feeling & why

b. Realize the links between their feelings & what they think, do & say

c. Recognise how their feelings affect their performance

d. Have a guiding awareness of their values & goals

SELF-AWARENESS

2. ACCURATE SELF-ASSESSMENT

Individuals with this competence are ...

a. Aware of their strengths & weaknesses

b. Learn from experience

c. Open to feedback, continuous learning & self development

d. Able to show a sense of humour & perspective about themselves

SELF-AWARENESS

3. SELF-CONFIDENCE


a. Present themselves with self-assurance

b. Can voice unpopular views in order to do what is right

c. Are decisive & able to make sound decisions despite uncertainties & pressures

SELF-REGULATION

1. SELF-CONTROL


a. Manage their impulsive & distressing feelings well

b. Stay calm & positive in a crisis

c. Think clearly & stay focussed under pressure

SELF-REGULATION

2. TRUSTWORTHINESS


a. Act ethically at all timesb. Build trust through their

reliability & authenticityc. Admit their own

mistakes & confront un-ethical behaviour in others

d. Take tough decisions even if they are unpopular

SELF-REGULATION

3. CONSCIENTIOUSNESS


a. Meet commitments & keep promises

b. Hold themselves accountable for meeting their objectives

c. Are organised & careful in their work

SELF-REGULATION

4. ADAPTABILITY


a. Smoothly handle multiple demands, shifting priorities & rapid change

b. Adapt their rsponses & tactics to meet fluid circumstances

c. Are flexible in how they see & respond to events

SELF-REGULATION

5. INNOVATIVENESS


a. Seek out fresh ideas from a wide variety of sources

b. Entertain original solutions to problems

c. Generate new ideas

d. Take fresh perspectives & risks in their thinking

SELF-MOTIVATION

1. ACHIEVEMENT DRIVE


a. Are results orientated with a high drive to meet their objectives & standards

b. Set challenging goals & take calculated risks

c. Pursue data & information to reduce uncertainty & find ways to do better

d. Learn how to improve their performance

SELF-MOTIVATION

2. COMMITMENT


a. Readily make personal or group sacrifices to meet a larger organisational goal

b. Find a sense of purpose in the larger mission

c. Use the group’s core values in making making decisions & clarifying choices

d. Actively seek out opportunities to fulfil the group’s mission

SELF-MOTIVATION

3. INITIATIVE


a. Are ready to seize opportunities

b. Pursue goals beyond what is expected or required of them

c. Cut through ‘red tape’ in order to get the job done

d. Mobilise others through unusual, enterprising efforts

SELF-MOTIVATION

4. OPTIMISM


a. Persist in attaining goals despite obstacles & setbacks

b. Operate from ‘hope of success’, rather than ‘fear of failure’

c. See setbacks as manageable circumstances – not personal flaw

SOCIAL-AWARENESS

1. EMPATHY


a. Are attentive to emotional cues & listen well

b. Show sensitivity & understand other people’s perspectives

c. Help out based on other peoples needs & feelings

SELF-MOTIVATION

2. DEVELOPING OTHERS


a. Acknowledge & reward other peoples strengths, achievements & development

b. Offer useful feed back & identify peoples needs for development

c. Mentor, give timely coaching & offer assignments that challenge & grow a person’s skills

SELF-MOTIVATION

3. LEVERAGING DIVERSITY


a. Respect & relate well to people from varied backgrounds

b. Understand diverse world views & are sensitive to cultural differences

c. Challenge bias & intolerance

Stop & ThinkKEY THINKERS

• “If your emotional abilities aren’t in hand, if you don’t have self-awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions, if you can’t have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far”

Daniel Goleman

Stop & ThinkIDENTIFY YOUR STRENGTHS

• We all have strengths & weaknesses

• What is important are our strengths

STRENGTHS OF HUMANITY

• Those centered around relationships with others

• The capacity to love & recieve love

• Kindness

• Social intelligence

STRENGTHS OF KNOWLEDGE

• Those related to aquiring & using new knowledge

• Creativity

• Curiosity

• Love of Learning

• Perspective

• Wisdom

STRENGTHS OF COURAGE

• Those related to maintaining will-power in the face of opposition

• Bravery

• Persistence

• Integrity

• Vitality

STRENGTHS OF JUSTICE

• Those that support the best possible interaction among a group

• Citizenship

• Fairness

• Empathy

STRENGTHS OF TEMPERANCE

• Those that protect from excess

• Forgiveness & Mercy

• Modesty & Humility

• Prudence

• Self-regulation

STRENGTHS OF TRANSCENDENCE

• Those that form connections with a larger whole

• Appreciation of Excellence & Beauty

• Gratitude

• Hope

• Humour

• Spirituality

Stop & ThinkIDENTIFY YOUR STRENGTHS

• Split into pairs & help each other to identify their strengths

• Each person should identify at least 3 core strengths


• The capacity for recognizing our own emotions and those of others, for motivating ourselves and others, and for managing emotions well in ourselves and in our relationships

• In sum:– Understanding Yourself– Managing Yourself– Understanding Others– Managing Others

SocialAwareness

Ability to attune to how others feel,

and to “read” situations

Self-Awareness

Reading one’s own emotions and recognizing their impact

SocialSkills

Ability to guide the emotional

tone of the group

Self-Management

Keeping disruptive emotions & impulses under control

DOES EI MAKEDOES EI MAKE A DIFFERENCE?A DIFFERENCE?

THE BUSINESS CASE

RESEARCH Goleman, Working with Emotional Intelligence,

“181 different positions from 121 organizations worldwide … 67% of the abilities deemed essential for effective performance were emotional competencies” (cf. Rosier, 1994)

“Reanalyzed data from 40 different corporations … to differentiate star performers from average ones … emotional competencies were found to be twice as important in contributing to excellence as pure intellect and expertise” (cf. Jacobs and Chen, 1997)

HOW GROUP EI AFFECTS THE BOTTOM LINE

Group Emotional Intelligence

Trust, Group Identity, Group Efficacy, Networks

Participation, Cooperation, Collaboration

Better Decisions, More Creative Solutions, Higher Productivity

WHAT IS GROUP EI?

• It is about . . .

bringing emotions to the surface and proactively understanding their meaning and impact on the team and its performance

• It is not about…

catching and suppressing emotions as they bubble up

• It is not about… being nice

EI COMPETENCIES (Goleman, 2001)

Self-Awareness

• Emotional awareness• Accurate self-assessment• Self-confidence

Self-Management

• Adaptability• Self-control• Conscientiousness• Initiative• Achievement Orientation• Trustworthiness

Social-AwarenessSocial-Awareness• Empathy• Service Orientation• Organizational awareness

Social skillsSocial skills• LeadershipLeadership• Develop othersDevelop others• Change catalystChange catalyst• Conflict managementConflict management• InfluenceInfluence• Building bondsBuilding bonds• CommunicationCommunication• TeamworkTeamwork

Stop & ThinkBEST TEAM & WORST

TEAM EXERCISE Think of a team you have been a part of that was

an excellent experience. The team performed well. It was the best team experience you’ve ever had.

Think of a team you have been a part of that was an awful experience. The team performed poorly. The worst team experience you’ve ever had.

Underneath each team name, write notes describing the characteristics or circumstances that contributed to that experience.

TOP TEN EMOTIONAL NEEDS OF CHILDREN

• 1. Accepted• 2. Believed in• 3. Cared about• 4. Forgiven• 5. Loved• 6. Safe• 7. Supported• 8. Trusted• 9. Understood• 10. Valued

ADULTS NEED TO FEEL:

• acceptedacknowledged admired appreciatedapproved ofbelieved incapable cared aboutchallenged clear (not confused) competent confident forgivenforgiving free fulfilledheardhelpedhelpfulimportant

• in controlincluded listened to loved needed noticed powerful privateproductive / usefulreassured recognized respected safe / secure supported treated fairly trustedunderstandingunderstood valued worthy

DEVELOPING EI

• If you are interested in developing your emotional intelligence, you should start by identifying where it is that you are currently and where you would like to be.

• Start observing how it is that you react to others. Look honestly at how you think and interact with other people.

• If you find that you are quick to harshly judge or stereotype others, take some time to put yourself in their shoes and this should help you to be more open and accepting of their individual needs and views.

DEVELOPING EI

• Think critically of your actions in the workplace. • Do you constantly seek attention and approval for a

job well done? • Try to practice being a bit more humble. This sends

across the message that you are strong and confident.

• Instead of always trying to have the focus be all on you, try giving others an equal opportunity to shine.

• It is much better to give praise than to only receive it.

DEVELOPING EI

• Closely examine how it is that you react when you are placed in a stressful situation.

• If you become overly upset, lash out, or try to place the blame all on others, you may need to work on developing emotional intelligence.

• Being able to remain calm and maintain personal control in difficult situations is a highly valued character both in the business world and outside of it.

DEVELOPING EI

• Another way to work on developing emotional intelligence is to take responsibility for your own actions.

• When you do something wrong and upset someone, do not try to avoid the situation and sweep it under the rug.

• Instead you should approach them directly and offer an apology.

• This will make people want to work with you more.

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE & LEADERSHIP

• Emotional Intelligence and leadership both rely on self awareness.

• Self-Awareness is mostly about being able to effectively recognize and understand your own emotions, moods, and values.

• As a leader you should recognize that these aspects of your self have a great impact on those around you.

• A leader with strong emotional intelligence is self aware and is both confident and realistic about their personal strengths and opportunities and uses them to inspire those around them.


• Any effective leader should be sure not to let their mood and emotions affect others around them.

• With emotional intelligence you will be able to develop self-regulation skills.

• Leaders with high Emotional Intelligence levels have the ability to control their emotions and to think about the consequences of their actions before acting.

• They are not easily flustered and are comfortable with new projects and deal well with change.


• Leaders possessing emotional intelligence are motivated by setting and meeting their own personal goals.

• For them it is not about the money or the recognition. It is simply about getting the job done.

• While they are often persistent in achieving these goals, at the same time they do not ignore the emotional needs of those around them.

• They tend to show strong empathy for others and take the feelings and needs of others into consideration during their daily interactions.

Stop & Think

READING OTHERS EMOTIONS

FEAR

• We express fear when we feel physically or psychologically threatened.

The facial expression of fear is often confused with surprise. But when we’re surprised, our eyes open wider than when we’re afraid, and our mouth isn’t pulled sideways, like it is here; instead, our jaw drops and the mouth hangs open. Plus, our eyebrows are relatively flat when we’re afraid; they arch more when we’re surprised.

HAPPINESS

• This is a classic display of a genuine smile, called a Duchenne smile, which signals happiness.

It’s defined by two muscle movements. The movement common to all smiles is the zygomatic major muscle pulling the lip corners up. But, critically, what reveals this as a genuine smile is what happens around the eyes: The muscles tighten, making those wrinkles, or crow’s feet, around the sides of the eyes and creating that pouching of the lower eyelid. When you see these signs, the person isn’t just smiling politely; he’s feeling genuine happiness.

ANGER

• You see these muscle movements—in the lips, around the eyes, and in the brow—when people are feeling aggressive, threatened, or frustrated. Researchers think we make this expression when we're angry because it could protect the face in a physical conflict—for example, the furrowed eyebrows could protect the eyes.

People often confuse anger and disgust, but disgust involves a raised upper lip and a wrinkle in the nose that you don’t see here.

EMBARRASSMENT

• When people are embarrassed, they avert their gaze, which means they move their head down and to the side, exposing their neck. And the embarrassed smile is different from other smiles: The lips press together tightly, reflecting feelings of restraint or inhibition.

Embarrassment can look like shame, but when we're ashamed, our head moves straight down, not to the side, and we don't smile.

PRIDE

• Pride involves signs of dominance. The corners of the lips rise slightly, signaling that the person is happy. But what distinguishes this from happiness is that the head tilts back, with a slight jaw-thrust. Those are classic signs of power and dominance—they suggest that we’re feeling strong.

The expression of pride is also close to the expression of contempt. They both involve a backward head tilt, but contempt doesn't involve a slight smile like pride does; instead, with contempt the lip movement is asymmetrical—only one side tightens.

SURPRISE

• Surprise is often confused with fear. But when we’re afraid, our lower eyelids tighten and our eyebrows look flat and tense; with surprise, our upper eyelids rise up and our eyebrows arch. Also, our jaws drop when we’re surprised, but our lip corners go sideways when we’re afraid, making the mouth look tighter.

Some experts believe our eyes open wide like this because when we’re confronted with something surprising—a long-lost friend, an unexpected award—we try to absorb as much of this new information as possible.

CONTEMPT

• Contempt is when you look down on somebody derisively or suspiciously. What’s important about the expression of contempt is that the lips tighten on one side of the face but not the other. If the tightening were on both sides of the face, the person could be swallowing or salivating.

People often confuse contempt with disgust. But disgust involves the raising of the upper lip, and the bridge of the nose wrinkles. We express disgust about noxious things, not those about which we’re derisive or suspicious.

•

DISGUST

• When we feel disgust, the muscles above the upper lip pull up, raising the upper lip, wrinkling the nose, and narrowing the eyes.

People often confuse disgust and anger. But anger tightens the mouth and lowers the eyebrows more significantly, and raises the upper eyelid. With disgust, the mouth opens and the tongue comes out, just in case you need to throw up.

FLIRTATIOUSNESS

• This is a coy, flirtatious smile. What conveys flirtatiousness is when someone turns his or her head away to signal ‘I’m not interested in you,’ but simultaneously makes eye contact. That’s a universal display that reflects the ambivalence of flirtation—the flirter avoids and approaches someone at the same time.

Someone flirting gives off signals of pleasure, as indicated by the zygomatic major muscle pulling the lip corners up, which also raises the cheeks slightly. Plus, the eyes are narrower than in a neutral state because the orbicularis oculi muscles around the eyes contract, suggesting feelings of happiness.

PAIN

• When we feel pain, our facial muscles move in ways that contract the face and protect us from harm. In the upper half of the face, the orbicularis oculi muscles around the eyes contract, closing the eyes tightly, and the corrugator muscle lowers our eyebrows. In the lower half of the face, our lips tighten and press upwards.

You'll see this particular expression especially when people are experiencing psychological pain, such as when they see other people suffer. It’s an expression closely related to sadness. But rather than suffering in their own sadness, they experience the pain and suffering of others through empathy.

COMPASSION

• When people feel sympathy or compassion, the corrugator muscles pull the eyebrows in and up, their lips press together, and their head tilts forward slightly—a sign of social engagement.

The expression of compassion is most often confused with sadness. The eyebrow movements are similar in sadness and compassion, but with compassion the lips press together; when we feel sad, our lips pull down.

AMUSEMENT

• The tell-tale signs of genuine amusement are the open mouth and the backwards head movement. And like a genuine smile, you can tell a genuine laugh when you see the muscles contracting around the eyes, making crow’s feet.

Genuine laughter often relaxes all muscle movements in the body because of shifts in our respiration patterns that happen when we laugh. This rapid shift to a state of relaxation shuts off feelings of aggression or frustration—we’re cooperating with other people, not competing.

INTEREST

• When we’re interested in something, the frontalis muscles raise our eyebrows straight up, and our lip corners turn up in a slight smile, suggesting we’re feeling pleasure.

The expression of interest is related to the expression of happiness. But when we’re happy, we’ll show more exaggerated upward movements of our lip corners, and the muscles around the eyes will contract more, without the eyebrow raising straight up.

SADNESS

• Sadness is characterized by oblique eyebrows, where the corrugator muscles pull the eyebrows in, but the inner part of the frontalis muscle pulls them up. There’s also a little pouching in the inner part of the forehead, and people will often look down. Plus, the corners of the lips are pulled straight down, giving the mouth a curved look.

The expression of sadness is often confused with shame, and it shares the oblique eyebrow muscle movements of compassion.

DESIRE

• Desire is signaled through the mouth, with lip bites, puckers, or (as in this case) lip licks. The mouth is probably so strongly linked to desire because of the connection to kissing. People often make this facial expression when they’re interested in someone else sexually, but not necessarily romantically.

Desire is obviously a relative of love, but when people feel loving and trusting and devoted to someone else, as opposed to sexually aroused, they won't necessarily make this kind of gesture with their mouth. Instead, they'll often smile in a way that suggests happiness, with a head tilt to the side.

SHAME

• Shame is a very simple display but a powerful one. It simply involves gaze aversion, with the head moving down so that the chin tucks into the neck. It's the opposite of pride: Whereas with pride our head tilts back and our chin goes up, shame often constricts our posture as a sign of submissiveness.

This expression is frequently confused with sadness. But shame doesn't involve the muscle movements of the sad face—the eyebrows pulled in and partly up, with the lip corners moving down.

POLITENESS

• This is a non-Duchenne smile—a smile that doesn’t signal true happiness. It suggests that the person is trying to seem polite and cooperative, but they don’t genuinely feel happy.

The zygomatic major muscle is pulling the lip corners up, but there are no signs of real joy around the eyes—no crow’s feet around the sides, no pouching of the lower eyelid, no raising of the cheek.

EMBARRASSMENT

• With about 30 percent of embarrassment episodes, people touch their face, which is happening here. Some experts believe the face touch is a defensive movement, to protect the face after the person violated some social rule.

In some parts of the world, people make a similar hand gesture when they’re ashamed. But with shame, the head moves straight down, not to the side, and there’s no slight smile.

PAIN

• When we feel pain, our facial muscles contract the face and protect us from harm.

In the upper half of the face, the orbicularis oculi muscles around the eyes contract, closing the eyes tightly, and the corrugator muscle lowers our eyebrows. In the lower half of the face, our lips tighten and press upwards. Especially when experiencing physical pain, people will sometimes contract their neck, as is happening here, making this look even more like a display of self-defense.

LOVE

• When we feel love, our facial expression often resembles happiness: The zygomatic major muscle pulls the lip corners up, and there’s a tightening of the lower eyelid.

But the distinct expression of love combines these muscle movements with a tilt of the head to the side. That’s a sign of intimacy and connection beyond just happiness.

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE MEASURABLE RESULTS

• You are true to yourself & to others• You practice your beliefs & values• You inspire through your commitment to

excellence• You empower, develop & respect others• You never accept mediocrity or second best• You have courage to take risks & do what is right• You excercise integrity & honesty at all times• You take unconditional responsibility for yourself• You demonstrate initiative & innovation

MEASURABLE RESULTS

• You are aware of your own strengths, & the strengths of those you work with

• You aim for success in everything that you do• You learn from the past, plan for the future,

but live in the present• You are passionate about what you do, and

you communicate this passion to those around you

• You are the same person in every aspect of your life

• You find happiness in “flow”

MEASURABLE RESULTS

• You are not afraid of criticism & do not react emotionally to it

• You never engage in office politics, or talk about people behind their backs

• You act calmly & rationally, even when you are in a crisis

• You support & encourage your team at all times, through giving regular feedback & guidance

• You are as aware of the needs of others, as you are of your own needs

• You never play the blame game• You successfully ‘manage’ yourself & your

emotions

LEADERS OF TOMMORROW

• The new leaders of tommorrow are creative, visionary & proactive

• They are both learners & teachers

• They foresee dynamic changes in society and the marketplace, & capitalise on them

• They have a strong sense of ethics & purpose

• They work to build a sense of integrity into their organisations & develop their staff

• They have self-assurance & self-confidence, built on their self-knowledge & emotional intelligence


• Positions for change.– Observes the environment.

• Creates a new reality.– Defines objectives, resources and strategies.

• Leads diverse teams to create.– Selects people and defines expectations.

• Drives the performance in creation.– Motivates people and amplifies results.

• Searches for excellence at every step.– Monitors and evaluates self, team and

environment.


• The leaders realises that with all the rapid changes in the global marketplace & the information overload, it is simply impossible to know everything

• They realise that reason & logic will not get them through every situation

• They are increasingly realising that there is value in listening to their intuition & ‘gut’ reactions, when making important decisions

• They also realise that the more self-aware they are, the more they can trust their basic intuition

EMOTIONALINTELLIGENCE

TEŞEKKÜR EDERİM

Richard Tredennick-TitchenCopyright 2011

Emotional intelligence

Business

Transcript of Emotional intelligence