Effective Communication Styles

8/8/2019 Effective Communication Styles

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COMMUNICATION FOR THE

21st

CENTURY

PRESENTED BY:

WOODROW LUCAS

PHD Student in Management2007 Graduate of Vanderbilt in Business and Divinity.Licensed Lay Minister Since 1998.


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SOME MAJOR WAYS TOCOMMUNICATE

1. ACTION

2. WORDS3. BODY LANGUAGE

****Today we will be focusingon Words.


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SOME SCRIPTURES ABOUTEFFECTIVE VERBAL

COMMUNICATIONProverbs 15:1A soft answer turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs upanger.

Proverbs 25:15With patience a ruler may be persuaded, and a soft tonguecan break bones.Proverbs 15:23

To make an apt answer is a joy to anyone, and a word indue season, how good it is!!Proverbs 18:21Death and Life are in the power of the tongue, and those

who love it will eat its fruits.


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INTRODUCTION Leaders, Subordinates, and Peers need to effectively

communicate in order to engender productive, efficient,godly, and pro-social behavior from themselves andothers.

Unfortunately, the preponderance of communication

in American Culture is so negative and destructiverather than constructive that people often findthemselves with disempowered and disgruntledchildren, employees, bosses, and peers in a state ofconfusion and complete ignorance to the role that they

played in this scenario.

This Seminar enumerates just 3 of thousands of 21st Century premises and techniques for effectivecommunication.


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THE PURPOSE OF THISPRESENTATION

To restate common senseunderstandings of communication askindness, consideration, encouragement,

affirmation, assertion, and forgiveness, in acategorized format which will hopefullyreinforce actual IMPLEMENTATION rather

than just KNOWLEDGE.

To introduce you to the thoughts and

opinions of some thinkers and scholars that


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PRESENTATION DOES NOT

ENDEAVOR TO DO Introduce you to a bunch of concepts andideas which you will view as totally new or

foreign. (This presentation is not meant tointroduce that much new material, as muchas it is meant to illuminate known conceptswith greater clarity.)

Take the place of your own biblical,

experiential, and scholarly research into


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I. A

LANGUAGE OF

BECOMING


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Biblical Support for Major

PremisesEphesians 2:8-10

For by grace are you saved through faith, andthis is not of your doing, it is the gift of God. Not

the result of works so that no one may boast.For we are what he has made us, created inChrist Jesus for good works, which God preparedbeforehand to be our way of life.

In other words, Identity is a function of the loveof God, not our works. Our identity does notcome from what we do, but rather what Christhas destined us to be. What we do is anextension of who we are. Who we are is not a

function of what we do. As a leader or mentor orsubordinate, or eer, we want to create s ace for

I. A Language ofBecoming


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Biblical Support for Major

PremisesJohn 1: 12

But to all who received him, who

believed in his name, he gave power tobecome children of God, who were born,not of blood, or of the will of the flesh, orof the will of man, but of GOD!!!!

In other words, we are in a constantstate of becoming more like Christ. Soto the extent that we can encourage

each other to be in a constant state ofbecoming or repentance rather than in



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MORE SPECIFICALLY: ENTITYVERSUS INCREMENTAL

PERSPECTIVES ON PERFORMANCE Carol Dweck elucidates two views ofintelligence, capacity, or ability which anindividual can possess, an entity perspective

and an incremental perspective (Dweck,2008). An entity perspective usual leads tostagnancy, failure, and defeat whereas anincremental perspective usually leads toprogress, success, and victory. The determiningcharacteristic which distinguishes an entityperspective from an incremental perspective is

self esteem. Individuals with LOW SELF ESTEEMusuall maintain AN ENTITY PERSPECTIVE



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CHARACTERISTICS OF ENTITYVERSUS INCREMENTAL


ENTITY INCREMENTAL

LOW SELF ESTEEM HIGH SELF ESTEEM

CAPACITY AND INTELLIGENCE ARE FIXED AND CANT

IMPROVE

CAPACITY AND INTELLIGENCE CAN IMPROVE AS A

FUNCTION OF GRACE, FAITH, AND EFFORT

COMPARES ONES CAPACITY WITH OTHERS TO GET ASENSE OF WORTH, VALUE, AND PERFORMANCE

CAPABILITY.

(WORKS ORIENTED RIGHTEOUSNESS)

BASES A SENSE OF ONES CAPACITY IN THE POSSIBILITYOF CHRIST AND SO DOES NOT COMPARE WITH OTHERS

TO GET A SENSE OF POTENTIAL OR POSSIBILITY.

(GRACE ORIENTED RIGHTEOUSNESS)

A BELIEF THAT FAILURE IS FINAL AND REFLECTS A LACK

OF ABILITY OR CAPACITY.

A BELIEF THAT FAILURE IS A LEARNING EXPERIENCE.

A TENDENCY TO VIEW EXERTION OF EFFORT AS

EVIDENCE OF DEFICIENT CAPACITY.

A TENDENCY TO THINK THAT INCREASED EXERTION OF

EFFORT WILL LEAD TO IMPROVED INTELLIGENCE.

A TENDENCY TO DEAL WITH CRITICISM WITH

DEFENSIVENESS

A TENDENCY TO VIEW CRITICISM AS AN OPPORTUNITY

FOR IMPROVEMENT.


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WHEN YOU KNOW THAT YOUARE ALWAYS BECOMING,

THEN YOUR CAPACITY ISINFINITE!



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HOW ENTITY VERSUSINCREMENTAL

PERSPECTIVIES RELATE TOCOMMUNICATION?The role of an effective leader, subordinate, or peer is to help other

individuals to operate in an incremental rather than entity sense of self andproductivity. Some ways in which to do this are:

1. Generally Affirming People. For instance, telling a person that they arecompassionate, empathic, intelligent, or powerful.

2. Specifically Affirming individuals for what they bring to a scenario. Forinstance in addition to telling someone that they are brilliant or capable,telling them that their gifts of administration, organization, insight, anddiligence cause them to be a valued addition to a given team.

3. Offering constructive rather than destructive criticism. Constructivecriticism, criticizes specific dimensions of performance, like you did this well,you did this poorly. Whereas destructive criticism criticizes the entireperson ad hominem (For instance, saying things like you are a bad person oryou are a lazy employee.

(MORAL OF THIS STORY?!!! ONE SHOULD ALWAYS BUILD UP RATHER THAN



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II. NONVIOLENT

COMMUNICATIONIN THE FACE OF

CONFLICT

II N i l C i i


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Fear of Conflict Fear of Conflict Stems from among other

things the belief that the presence of conflictequates to the absence of love.

But Jesus was the living personification ofGods love and he states in Matthew 10:34:I came not to bring peace to the earth: I have notcome to bring peace, but a sword.

This reflects the fact that confrontation andconflict are often necessary to bring abouttrue peace, rather than FALSE peace which isoften characterized by silent tyranny and

II. Nonviolent Communication

II N i l t C i ti


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Marshall RosenburgMarshall Rosenburg has Introduced amode of communication he created to dealwith conflict called NonviolentCommunication.

Many people either lean on avoidance oranger as a way to either avoid or

incorrectly engage conflict. Neither ofthese methods is effective.

In other words, Non Violent


II N i l t C i ti


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NONVIOLENT ASSERTIONNonviolent Assertion hinges on 3 major precepts:

1. Talking about how individuals make you feelrather than accusing them of this or that.

2. Speaking from a place wherein you want theother person to understand your point of view,rather than trying to convert or manipulate theother person to your point of view.

3. Assuming that the other person in the conflict isinnocent until proven guilty. In other wordsassuming that their motivations are not negative orevil in engaging you in the conflict, but that rather



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COMMUNICATIONAS INSPIRATION,

MOTIVATION, AND

HEALING: THEPOWER OF

III The Po er of Narrati e


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WHAT IS NARRATIVECOMMUNICATION?

Narrative Communication is the successfulattempt to verbally describe another

human beings worth and potential inreference to a story in which they are theprotagonist or main character.

(Bauer, McAdams, & Pals, 2008; Jennifer,2006)

III. The Power of NarrativeCommunication

III The Power of Narrative


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AN EXAMPLE OFNARRATIVE

COMMUNICATION Pastor Crowder is a gentle David, in thesense that God has anointed him to war asa warrior King for the members of the Bodyof Christ that God sends to him and to warfor the unsaved souls of the masses. Yetas a Gentle David Pastor Crowder does

not, War with the weapons of this worldbut rather tears down the kingdom ofSatan, with compassion, empathy, logic,

reason, and spiritual warfare.


2 WAYS OF USINGIII The Power of Narrative


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2 WAYS OF USINGNARRATIVE

COMMUNICATION1. Making your subordinates, superiors, or

peers into characters in a triumphant

story wherein they and you succeedrather than fearing failure as a functionof poor performance.

2. Speaking of the past in terms ofopportunities for learning and trust, the

present as an opportunity for gratitude


III The Power of Narrative


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THE POWER OFNARRATIVE

COMMUNICATION TO HEAL



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OF EFFECTIVE

COMMUNICATION1. Fear (Cowardice, Timidity)2. Anger (Rage, Frustration, Wrath, Unforgiveness, Bitterness, andRebellion).3. Selfishness (Self Centeredness, Narcissism)4. Impatience5. Sloth

6. Lust7. Adultery8. Extremism9. Perfectionism10. Idolatry11. Shame

12. Guilt13. Self-Loathing14. Pride15. Vanity16. Deception17. Doubt

18. Distrust

Effective Communication Styles

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