Post on 02-Jul-2015
5 Lessons For The Job Search From The World Of
Online Dating
Diana Ecker 3.19.22
Originally delivered at the Connect-Work-Thrive
Conference in Santa Clara, CA
How can the same principles that make online dating
profiles more successful be applied to the job search?
LESSON ONE
Describe a shared future
Some online dating profiles just list a bunch
of interests:
“I like to read.” “I like to hike.” “I like to cook.”
“I like to read.” “I like to hike.” “I like to cook.”
K
Why not help the reader envision a
shared future together instead?
“We can go on weekend hikes and
bring our dogs!”
“We can go on weekend hikes and
bring our dogs!” J
“I love getting to cook for someone
special.”
“I love getting to cook for someone
special.” J
The Job Search Equivalent
(what someone might be saying in a cover letter):
“I want to expand my skill set.”
“I want to expand my skill set.”
K
“I believe that I’m an excellent candidate.”
“I believe that I’m an excellent candidate.”
K
Again, no shared future. Just “I want” and
“I believe.”
Here’s how you might offer a vision of a
shared future instead:
“I’d like to contribute my skills to help
advance your mission.”
“I’d like to contribute my skills to help
advance your mission.”
J
“With my experience, you could expand your
programs.”
“With my experience, you could expand your
programs.” J
LESSON TWO
Choose a great photo
We see photos first +
We experience confirmation bias
In online dating, many people will look at
photos first and make a decision just from that.
LinkedIn is such a powerful tool for the
job search…
…and we forget that people are drawing
conclusions about us from our photos
there too.
J
• Lighting • Background • Signifiers of status • Expression
What does your photo tell people
about who you are?
LESSON THREE
Put yourself in their shoes
When people write their online dating profiles, sometimes
they lose sight of how their reader will feel:
“I put a lot of effort into annoying my friends.”
“I put a lot of effort into annoying my friends.”
L
“You are never bored when you’re with me, unless you’re boring.”
“You are never bored when you’re with me, unless you’re boring.”
L
“I think I like cats better than people.”
“I think I like cats better than people.”
L
Cats are great!
Cats are great! But they’re not using online dating sites.
When you don’t put yourself in the reader’s shoes, you write things
that may prevent a connection.
The Job Search Equivalent:
“I am who I am. Why should I tailor
my resume?”
“I am who I am. Why should I tailor
my resume?” L
But when you put yourself in the
employer’s shoes, of course you’d tailor your
resume to a position:
“They especially need those skills? Okay, I’ll
emphasize them.”
“They especially need those skills? Okay, I’ll
emphasize them.” J
• Re-order bullet points • Add highlights section • Edit skill list • Change category
names
LESSON FOUR
Use proven strategies
The way readers react to language is often
predictable.
OkTrends, “Exactly What to Write in a First Message”
Use what works!
Yale Undergraduate Career Services, “Resume Action Verbs”
• Resume verbs • Results • Numbers • Language from the
job description
LESSON FIVE
Be bold
With online dating, sometimes people get
intimidated…
“Forget it. That person is out of my league.”
L
The Job Search Equivalent:
“Forget it. That job is out of my league.”
L
Not so fast!
“Fortune befriends the bold.”
— Emily Dickinson
IN SUMMARY:
IN SUMMARY:
Describe a shared future
IN SUMMARY:
Describe a shared future Choose a great photo
IN SUMMARY:
Describe a shared future Choose a great photo
Put yourself in their shoes
IN SUMMARY:
Describe a shared future Choose a great photo
Put yourself in their shoes Use proven strategies
IN SUMMARY:
Describe a shared future Choose a great photo
Put yourself in their shoes Use proven strategies
Be bold
J J
Photo by Yogendra Joshi: “Expressions @
Times Square, NY”
Creative Commons Attribution License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/deed.en
* Yogendra174 on Flickr *
J J