5 Lessons For The Job Search From The World Of

Online Dating

Diana Ecker 3.19.22

Originally delivered at the Connect-Work-Thrive

Conference in Santa Clara, CA

How can the same principles that make online dating

profiles more successful be applied to the job search?

LESSON ONE

Describe a shared future

Some online dating profiles just list a bunch

of interests:

“I like to read.” “I like to hike.” “I like to cook.”

“I like to read.” “I like to hike.” “I like to cook.”

K

Why not help the reader envision a

shared future together instead?

“We can go on weekend hikes and

bring our dogs!”

“We can go on weekend hikes and

bring our dogs!” J

“I love getting to cook for someone

special.”

“I love getting to cook for someone

special.” J

The Job Search Equivalent

(what someone might be saying in a cover letter):

“I want to expand my skill set.”

“I want to expand my skill set.”

K

“I believe that I’m an excellent candidate.”

“I believe that I’m an excellent candidate.”

K

Again, no shared future. Just “I want” and

“I believe.”

Here’s how you might offer a vision of a

shared future instead:

“I’d like to contribute my skills to help

advance your mission.”

“I’d like to contribute my skills to help

advance your mission.”

J

“With my experience, you could expand your

programs.”

“With my experience, you could expand your

programs.” J

LESSON TWO

Choose a great photo

We see photos first +

We experience confirmation bias

In online dating, many people will look at

photos first and make a decision just from that.

LinkedIn is such a powerful tool for the

job search…

…and we forget that people are drawing

conclusions about us from our photos

there too.

J

•  Lighting •  Background •  Signifiers of status •  Expression

What does your photo tell people

about who you are?

LESSON THREE

Put yourself in their shoes

When people write their online dating profiles, sometimes

they lose sight of how their reader will feel:

“I put a lot of effort into annoying my friends.”

“I put a lot of effort into annoying my friends.”

L

“You are never bored when you’re with me, unless you’re boring.”

“You are never bored when you’re with me, unless you’re boring.”

L

“I think I like cats better than people.”

“I think I like cats better than people.”

L

Cats are great!

Cats are great! But they’re not using online dating sites.

When you don’t put yourself in the reader’s shoes, you write things

that may prevent a connection.

The Job Search Equivalent:

“I am who I am. Why should I tailor

my resume?”

“I am who I am. Why should I tailor

my resume?” L

But when you put yourself in the

employer’s shoes, of course you’d tailor your

resume to a position:

“They especially need those skills? Okay, I’ll

emphasize them.”

“They especially need those skills? Okay, I’ll

emphasize them.” J

•  Re-order bullet points •  Add highlights section •  Edit skill list •  Change category

names

LESSON FOUR

Use proven strategies

The way readers react to language is often

predictable.

OkTrends, “Exactly What to Write in a First Message”

Use what works!

Yale Undergraduate Career Services, “Resume Action Verbs”

•  Resume verbs •  Results •  Numbers •  Language from the

job description

LESSON FIVE

Be bold

With online dating, sometimes people get

intimidated…

“Forget it. That person is out of my league.”

L

The Job Search Equivalent:

“Forget it. That job is out of my league.”

L

Not so fast!

“Fortune befriends the bold.”

— Emily Dickinson

IN SUMMARY:

IN SUMMARY:

Describe a shared future

IN SUMMARY:

Describe a shared future Choose a great photo

IN SUMMARY:

Describe a shared future Choose a great photo

Put yourself in their shoes

IN SUMMARY:

Describe a shared future Choose a great photo

Put yourself in their shoes Use proven strategies

IN SUMMARY:

Describe a shared future Choose a great photo

Put yourself in their shoes Use proven strategies

Be bold

J J  

Photo by Yogendra Joshi: “Expressions @

Times Square, NY”

Creative Commons Attribution License

http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/deed.en

* Yogendra174 on Flickr *

J J