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Indefinable Glory
(Anirvachneyamina Khyati)
Original in Telugu Dr. G V Krishnarao
Translator - GRK Murty
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About the Author
Dr. G V Krishna Rao (1914-1979) belonged to Tenali, Andhra Pradesh, India. He
has written four novels in Telugu, a volume of playlets, a couple of plays, a
collection of short stories, and a critical survey of the Buddhist philosopherNagarjunas 'Vigrahavyavartani' (The End of Discussions). He has also translated
Plato and Kant into Telugu. His writings give us a true reflection of his
personalitycurious, humble, rationalistic, humane, and true to life. His
playlet'Bikshapatra' (Begging Bowl)was proclaimed a National Play and was
translated into sixteen Indian languages and broadcasted through All India Radio.
His last play'Bomma yedchindi' (The Doll Wept)portrays a clash and crash of
ideas and ideals rather than personalities, which leaves the audience in a
subdued mood of sorrow.'Keelubommalu' (Puppets), his maiden work, has been
acclaimed as one of the outstanding novels in Telugu because of its unity ofeffect, achieved in portraying man as a mechanical dolla doll driven more by
circumstances and animalism. In yet another novel, 'Papikondalu' (Papi Hills), he
advocates that natural truth is better than didacticism.
As the Tenali station was nearing, her elation
mounted. Looking at her state of mind, she felt
surprised. Where had been all this longing when she
was in jail? This nostalgia for the native village this longing to see the
kith and kin to which country have they emigrated? Looking at all
that anxiousness, she felt amused. Didnt she curse her village
innumerable times! Didnt she often damn it saying it wouldnt burn
out even when set fire to in the midday?
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Why this intense affection for such a town? Why so much love today
for a brother who would always scold her for nothing and a father who
would always frown upon her for one reason or the other? Father
belongs to yesteryears. How does he know the modern trends and
traditions? As one advances in age, its natural to behave irritatingly.
Besides, father is suffering from asthma. Must be suffering a lot! Might
have weakened terribly! Could he remain without ever thinking about
her? Might have worried a lot about me! My absence might have made
him bedridden.
Brother is after all still young. In the attendant immaturity, might have
uttered something. Am I to feel bad about it? By the bye, when I came
out, sister-in-law was carrying. When was it? September two years
have elapsed. Male-child or female-child! Might be a male-child. Yes, a
boy. One year three months. Which means, he must be walking now.
Might already be smattering, Amma[1]Atta[2] When I enter home,
he might, as well, come to me smattering atta ... atta!
Crazy! Has he ever seen my face? Have I ever taken him onto my lap?
How would he come to me? Seeing me, he might cry, or hiding behind
his mother, might fling a glance at me
If, on the other hand, a girl-child
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All the earlier thoughts have become something like bombed houses.
She frowned Stream of thoughts started again.
How could one say that the child is not a girl but a boy? At least,
brother should have written a postcard. How could he? How could they
know where I was? Didnt anybody tell them? Hadnt news papers
written about me? After all they keep publishing so many names daily!
Smt. Usha is arrested Rigorous imprisonment for two years
For following Mahatmas independence message!
Everyone might have heard when Chenchayya was reading in the
library. Couldnt they see my name? Even if they had seen, how were
they to know in which jail I was? Thats whyannayya[3]hadnt written
any letter. Had it been known, I am sure, father would not have kept
quiet. He might have got a word or two written by somebody or other
and posted the card to me.
Is annayya blessed with a boy or a girl? Looking at our family heredity,
the first offspring must be a male-child. And the heredity ofannayyas
mother-in-laws side too is same!
Why should she so strongly believe that the child is a boy? Couldnt she
get a bridegroom for the girl she is going to give birth to?
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What then will her husband think of her? Will he shrug off the wife
whom the people so affectionately revere? What will people think if he
shrugs off? Wont they accuse? Its because of your previous births gift
that she became your wife. Else, would she have become the wife of a
fellow like you? When people tease him with commentsNo way are
you a match for herwho could stand against it?
He cant but come to take her back with him.
What then, is she to go with him? How can a lady live with a man who
tortured her for so many years? She will not go to live with him. What
will people think if she doesnt go? Doesnt matter what people will
think of her. What will happen to the movement? How will they treat
Gandhi Mahatmas message? Will they accuse the message of the jewel
among mankind with petty interpretations?
Doesnt matter what happens to her life; even if thousands like her
perish, the movement must continue.
Yes, the message of Gandhiji must be transmitted to every nook and
corner of the country, be passed on to every living being. How would it
be possible if one gets entangled with family-life? Its due to lack of
such sacrifice among the people that ignorance, poverty and narrow-
mindedness are ruling the roost. Why to get shackled with these new
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bondages today? To follow Gandhijis command is the only path for
her; will the world deny it?
Oh Father! you have shown me the way. Preached the way to salvation.
I will not give away the nectar of your message. What would have
happened to this poor creature had your message been not there?
There would have been no way forward. You have put life into me,
Father!
Silently, Usha offered salutations to Gandhiji. Eyes swelled with
gratitude.
The train came to a halt. On the long platform, electric bulbs in the dark
domes were caressing the darkness just as the government employees
cajoled the capitalist class of the society. Tenali, Tenalis special pan,
soda, biscuits were ringing loud in the ears like slogans.
The second phase started with the alighting and boarding of
passengers. Usha stood up with her khadibag. Jostling her, this side and
that side, the crowd had ultimately lodged her onto the platform. All
around, sea of people.
Usha looked around observantly. People with garlands
The crowd had carried her to the gate She reached the little vacant
space around the iron grill that stood left to the main gate. Usha could
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see none there to welcome her with garlands. She could, of course, see
an old flower-vendor on the platform with wilted chrysanthemum,
jasmine and rose flowers. Even then it didnt strike her mind that
felicitations and welcome addresses were available for sale only.
In the meanwhile, all those passengers who alighted had gone. Of
course, the train had left long before. Hardly, there were twenty to
thirty people on that long platform.
Usha laughed at her anticipation. Who could welcome her in the middle
of night? Might not know of her release even. Newspapers might not
have published. Papers do publish all sundry happenings in any corner
of the worldeven the news of a bedbug giving birth to ten piglets will
be published with all the spice. Will they not publish about her
release? Might have but then how were they to know by which train
and on what date she would be arriving in Tenali. Once they came to
know that she had arrived, they would conduct the meeting and invite
her to speak. Didnt they do so for Buttchayya garu? At that time no
one went to the station. The next day, they conducted a meeting and
garlanded him.
Giving away the ticket, Usha came out. Could see nothing in that pitch
darkness. Except for three to four bullock-carts and two rickshaws,
there was nothing else.
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Need a cart, amma? asked the old man on the cart. Usha felt like
hiring a cart. But she immediately remembered the money that was
with her and also the message of Gandhiji. Didnt Mahatma say that
one should lead a simple life? With two strides, she could reach her
village.
Pushing herself forward, she took the road to Nandivelugu.
As her village was nearing, her legs started trembling. Her thoughts
wavered this side and that! Can she reach home? What will father and
brother say? What will happen to her?
Her whole body sweated. Could not step forward. Is she destined to
lead a miserable life again? Is she to listen to her brothers abuses and
suffer silently sister-in-laws taunts? Is she to stay in the maternal home
like a destitute?
She is no longer the Usha of yesteryearssuffered two years of
imprisonment for participating in the Nonviolence Movement. Who will
not treat her honorably when the whole world is honoring her for
participating in the Nonviolence Movement and undergoing two years
of imprisonment? What would anyone say to a person who
volunteered to work for the country? As she was ruminating thus, her
feet dragged her to the village. There were none either at
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the kacheri[4]
or under the neem tree. The morning-stars are straight
above the head.
She went to her maternal homeher brothers house. Whom to
call?Annayya will be in deep sleep inside his room. Why to wake him
up and spoil his sleep? Father will be sleeping in the eastern part of the
house. He would not be in deep sleep. Will respond the moment I call
him. Shall call Nanna[5]
only.
NannaNanna!
Knocked on the door. Called again and knocked on the door. More than
her calling, it was her knocking on the door that sounded louder.
There was noise as though someone had got up. Who could it be? The
foot sound is not her fathers.
Who is that?
Me
Me, Who me?
Its me,annayya
Coming with a lamp in one hand, setting right his dhoti[6]
with the other
hand, annayya, opening the door, was shocked to see her. With the
lamp in hand, he stood there as a wooden post.
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Its meannayya Usha dropped her head. His throat was parched
could not mutter a single word. Both stood perplexed for a while.
Get in. Why the hell should you stand at the entrance?
She came in.
Did anyone see you coming?
It made Usha fear more. What is there to lose if someone has seen
her? Yet her heart trembled.
Usha stood against the bench on which gunny-bags were stacked.
Keeping the lamp on the floor carefully, annayya, hurriedly going to his
fathers bed, rocked him. Moaning, the old man, perhaps just then
might have winked, turned to the other side. Usha stood there staring
blankly.
Nanna, Nanna! he stoked father intensely.
The old man got up with a jerk.
What?
Has come, she has come!
Who?
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She, that devil
The old man looked at her tremblingly, but could not recognize
immediately.
She who?
Who else your daughter.
My daughter? Everything became clear to the old man.
My daughter? Do I have a daughter? She died two years back. I have
thrown her out then itself. With these hands, consigned her to fire.
Where then is my daughter?
Usha cried at once. Nanna! Nanna!
Chi, Shut your mouth. Am I your father? Who said? Every villager
knows. My daughter died two years back. If you want, can enquire with
the priest if I am performing the annual rites? If you were my daughter,
should have been with husband, or with me.
Saying, What wrong did I do,Nanna? Usha suddenly rushed to her
father and circled his legs with her hands.
Chi, stay away, who are you? My daughter was good would fetch lots
of honor to her father elevate the prestige of her clan. Could a fallen
woman be my daughter? Who says? I will throttle whoever says that.
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My daughter died long back. Making this old man a destitute, she left.
Hoped she would nurse me in this old age, but went away. Gone way
beyond. Poor kid! Are you my daughter! Do you think the old man has
lost his senses? No. Get lost; my daughter makes her presence in my
dreams daily. Tears rolled down from the old mans eyes.
Usha sobbed loudly.
Chi, shut your mouth, neighbors will hear, growled out her brother.
Waking up at that sound, her sister-in-law and sister-in-laws brother,
Raghu, hurriedly came out enquiring anxiously, What happened?
Whats there? The debased woman has returned home lest we should
live in honor, saidanna.
Usha could not restrain herself. What wrong has she done? How could
she live with her sister-in-law if he speaks so cheaply of her? Seeing her
sister-in-law, Usha could not contain her anger.
Annayya! Speak decently! Otherwise
Ah! Why this anger? What happened to this pride and honor while
leading a wayward life?
Talk like a man of sense.
How dare you? Besides returning, scowling at us, you?
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I told you already Beware, if you repeat
Living with whom for these two years, have you returned? You should
not stay in my house even for a minute. Get out! Why still standing?
I havent come to your house. Ive come to my fathers home. Say that
if I come to your house. In our struggle for independence, I, for
removing rails from the railway track, went to jail. Is it a wrong deed? Is
it stealing? Is it debauchery? It is in response to the call given by
Mahatma Gandhi that I went to jail. Putting bangles on your hands you
stayed at home like a destitute woman. Its because of worthless
creatures like you, women had to come out.
Choked by anger, anna remained quiet. Frowning at that, Raghu wished
how nice it would have been, had a CID been around.
Gandhiji never gave such a message. He never advised to do such
ghastly deeds. Will peace-loving Gandhiji ever appreciate such
dastardly acts? It is only recently that he publicly condemned such acts.
Enough of your senseless talk, but dont you attribute that sin to
Gandhiji, said heranna.
What Raghu! Havent you read out that pamphlet, Success or Death
to me? Werent you there on that day? What did you say on that day?
When I said, I will join the movement, what did you say?
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When did I say? Did I ask you to remove rails? When my party is
shouting about it as peoples war, what did I say to you? Having roamed
here and there, instead of being silent, started this too?
Usha felt sapped. She never anticipated that things would turn out like
this. She never thought that the very philosophy that she believed in
would accuse her ever. Involuntarily, she muttered, truth, peoples
war. Suddenly, the walls in the village and the palm trees along the
roads reeled in her mind.
With whom did you live for all these days? Dont think nobody knows
about your foul acts, saidannapouncing on her.
Dont these people know whether I am speaking the truth? Didnt
God above know? uttered Usha pathetically.
You are not to stay in the house even for a minute. Go. Get out. Its
enoughthe dishonor we have put up with so far is enough saidanna.
Gotalli[7], go! At least, our daughter shouldnt she get married? said
sister-in-law.
Usha held on to her fathers legs tightly. Her tears washed the old
mans feet.
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Why dont you go? Right two years ago we told the villagers that you
died of fever at your aunts house. Shouldnt we live in this village with
our heads held high? Go, go to him with whom you lived thus far.
Crying and saying, Nanna, Nanna, Usha grasped her fathers legs
more tightly.
Like tigers, Raghu and anna pounced on her. Perplexed, the old man
stared blankly.
Both of them together battered her. Having become a skeleton by
virtue of her living in the jail, she could not sustain the beating. And the
swan flew away from the skeleton.
That early morning, the canal alongside the village overflowed.
The Sun, as usual, rose in the east.
******
[1]Ammamother.
[2]Attafathers sister.
[3]Annayyaelder brother
[4]Kacherithe house around which the elders of the village usually gather.
[5]Nannafather.
[6]Dhotithe loincloth worn by male Hindus.
[7]Talliused more in a style of sarcastic adorationgo mam go!
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