Indefinable Glory

7/31/2019 Indefinable Glory

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Indefinable Glory

(Anirvachneyamina Khyati)

Original in Telugu Dr. G V Krishnarao

Translator - GRK Murty


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About the Author

Dr. G V Krishna Rao (1914-1979) belonged to Tenali, Andhra Pradesh, India. He

has written four novels in Telugu, a volume of playlets, a couple of plays, a

collection of short stories, and a critical survey of the Buddhist philosopherNagarjunas 'Vigrahavyavartani' (The End of Discussions). He has also translated

Plato and Kant into Telugu. His writings give us a true reflection of his

personalitycurious, humble, rationalistic, humane, and true to life. His

playlet'Bikshapatra' (Begging Bowl)was proclaimed a National Play and was

translated into sixteen Indian languages and broadcasted through All India Radio.

His last play'Bomma yedchindi' (The Doll Wept)portrays a clash and crash of

ideas and ideals rather than personalities, which leaves the audience in a

subdued mood of sorrow.'Keelubommalu' (Puppets), his maiden work, has been

acclaimed as one of the outstanding novels in Telugu because of its unity ofeffect, achieved in portraying man as a mechanical dolla doll driven more by

circumstances and animalism. In yet another novel, 'Papikondalu' (Papi Hills), he

advocates that natural truth is better than didacticism.

As the Tenali station was nearing, her elation

mounted. Looking at her state of mind, she felt

surprised. Where had been all this longing when she

was in jail? This nostalgia for the native village this longing to see the

kith and kin to which country have they emigrated? Looking at all

that anxiousness, she felt amused. Didnt she curse her village

innumerable times! Didnt she often damn it saying it wouldnt burn

out even when set fire to in the midday?
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Why this intense affection for such a town? Why so much love today

for a brother who would always scold her for nothing and a father who

would always frown upon her for one reason or the other? Father

belongs to yesteryears. How does he know the modern trends and

traditions? As one advances in age, its natural to behave irritatingly.

Besides, father is suffering from asthma. Must be suffering a lot! Might

have weakened terribly! Could he remain without ever thinking about

her? Might have worried a lot about me! My absence might have made

him bedridden.

Brother is after all still young. In the attendant immaturity, might have

uttered something. Am I to feel bad about it? By the bye, when I came

out, sister-in-law was carrying. When was it? September two years

have elapsed. Male-child or female-child! Might be a male-child. Yes, a

boy. One year three months. Which means, he must be walking now.

Might already be smattering, Amma[1]Atta[2] When I enter home,

he might, as well, come to me smattering atta ... atta!

Crazy! Has he ever seen my face? Have I ever taken him onto my lap?

How would he come to me? Seeing me, he might cry, or hiding behind

his mother, might fling a glance at me

If, on the other hand, a girl-child
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All the earlier thoughts have become something like bombed houses.

She frowned Stream of thoughts started again.

How could one say that the child is not a girl but a boy? At least,

brother should have written a postcard. How could he? How could they

know where I was? Didnt anybody tell them? Hadnt news papers

written about me? After all they keep publishing so many names daily!

Smt. Usha is arrested Rigorous imprisonment for two years

For following Mahatmas independence message!

Everyone might have heard when Chenchayya was reading in the

library. Couldnt they see my name? Even if they had seen, how were

they to know in which jail I was? Thats whyannayya[3]hadnt written

any letter. Had it been known, I am sure, father would not have kept

quiet. He might have got a word or two written by somebody or other

and posted the card to me.

Is annayya blessed with a boy or a girl? Looking at our family heredity,

the first offspring must be a male-child. And the heredity ofannayyas

mother-in-laws side too is same!

Why should she so strongly believe that the child is a boy? Couldnt she

get a bridegroom for the girl she is going to give birth to?
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What then will her husband think of her? Will he shrug off the wife

whom the people so affectionately revere? What will people think if he

shrugs off? Wont they accuse? Its because of your previous births gift

that she became your wife. Else, would she have become the wife of a

fellow like you? When people tease him with commentsNo way are

you a match for herwho could stand against it?

He cant but come to take her back with him.

What then, is she to go with him? How can a lady live with a man who

tortured her for so many years? She will not go to live with him. What

will people think if she doesnt go? Doesnt matter what people will

think of her. What will happen to the movement? How will they treat

Gandhi Mahatmas message? Will they accuse the message of the jewel

among mankind with petty interpretations?

Doesnt matter what happens to her life; even if thousands like her

perish, the movement must continue.

Yes, the message of Gandhiji must be transmitted to every nook and

corner of the country, be passed on to every living being. How would it

be possible if one gets entangled with family-life? Its due to lack of

such sacrifice among the people that ignorance, poverty and narrow-

mindedness are ruling the roost. Why to get shackled with these new


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bondages today? To follow Gandhijis command is the only path for

her; will the world deny it?

Oh Father! you have shown me the way. Preached the way to salvation.

I will not give away the nectar of your message. What would have

happened to this poor creature had your message been not there?

There would have been no way forward. You have put life into me,

Father!

Silently, Usha offered salutations to Gandhiji. Eyes swelled with

gratitude.

The train came to a halt. On the long platform, electric bulbs in the dark

domes were caressing the darkness just as the government employees

cajoled the capitalist class of the society. Tenali, Tenalis special pan,

soda, biscuits were ringing loud in the ears like slogans.

The second phase started with the alighting and boarding of

passengers. Usha stood up with her khadibag. Jostling her, this side and

that side, the crowd had ultimately lodged her onto the platform. All

around, sea of people.

Usha looked around observantly. People with garlands

The crowd had carried her to the gate She reached the little vacant

space around the iron grill that stood left to the main gate. Usha could


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see none there to welcome her with garlands. She could, of course, see

an old flower-vendor on the platform with wilted chrysanthemum,

jasmine and rose flowers. Even then it didnt strike her mind that

felicitations and welcome addresses were available for sale only.

In the meanwhile, all those passengers who alighted had gone. Of

course, the train had left long before. Hardly, there were twenty to

thirty people on that long platform.

Usha laughed at her anticipation. Who could welcome her in the middle

of night? Might not know of her release even. Newspapers might not

have published. Papers do publish all sundry happenings in any corner

of the worldeven the news of a bedbug giving birth to ten piglets will

be published with all the spice. Will they not publish about her

release? Might have but then how were they to know by which train

and on what date she would be arriving in Tenali. Once they came to

know that she had arrived, they would conduct the meeting and invite

her to speak. Didnt they do so for Buttchayya garu? At that time no

one went to the station. The next day, they conducted a meeting and

garlanded him.

Giving away the ticket, Usha came out. Could see nothing in that pitch

darkness. Except for three to four bullock-carts and two rickshaws,

there was nothing else.


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Need a cart, amma? asked the old man on the cart. Usha felt like

hiring a cart. But she immediately remembered the money that was

with her and also the message of Gandhiji. Didnt Mahatma say that

one should lead a simple life? With two strides, she could reach her

village.

Pushing herself forward, she took the road to Nandivelugu.

As her village was nearing, her legs started trembling. Her thoughts

wavered this side and that! Can she reach home? What will father and

brother say? What will happen to her?

Her whole body sweated. Could not step forward. Is she destined to

lead a miserable life again? Is she to listen to her brothers abuses and

suffer silently sister-in-laws taunts? Is she to stay in the maternal home

like a destitute?

She is no longer the Usha of yesteryearssuffered two years of

imprisonment for participating in the Nonviolence Movement. Who will

not treat her honorably when the whole world is honoring her for

participating in the Nonviolence Movement and undergoing two years

of imprisonment? What would anyone say to a person who

volunteered to work for the country? As she was ruminating thus, her

feet dragged her to the village. There were none either at


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the kacheri[4]

or under the neem tree. The morning-stars are straight

above the head.

She went to her maternal homeher brothers house. Whom to

call?Annayya will be in deep sleep inside his room. Why to wake him

up and spoil his sleep? Father will be sleeping in the eastern part of the

house. He would not be in deep sleep. Will respond the moment I call

him. Shall call Nanna[5]

only.

NannaNanna!

Knocked on the door. Called again and knocked on the door. More than

her calling, it was her knocking on the door that sounded louder.

There was noise as though someone had got up. Who could it be? The

foot sound is not her fathers.

Who is that?

Me

Me, Who me?

Its me,annayya

Coming with a lamp in one hand, setting right his dhoti[6]

with the other

hand, annayya, opening the door, was shocked to see her. With the

lamp in hand, he stood there as a wooden post.
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Its meannayya Usha dropped her head. His throat was parched

could not mutter a single word. Both stood perplexed for a while.

Get in. Why the hell should you stand at the entrance?

She came in.

Did anyone see you coming?

It made Usha fear more. What is there to lose if someone has seen

her? Yet her heart trembled.

Usha stood against the bench on which gunny-bags were stacked.

Keeping the lamp on the floor carefully, annayya, hurriedly going to his

fathers bed, rocked him. Moaning, the old man, perhaps just then

might have winked, turned to the other side. Usha stood there staring

blankly.

Nanna, Nanna! he stoked father intensely.

The old man got up with a jerk.

What?

Has come, she has come!

Who?


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She, that devil

The old man looked at her tremblingly, but could not recognize

immediately.

She who?

Who else your daughter.

My daughter? Everything became clear to the old man.

My daughter? Do I have a daughter? She died two years back. I have

thrown her out then itself. With these hands, consigned her to fire.

Where then is my daughter?

Usha cried at once. Nanna! Nanna!

Chi, Shut your mouth. Am I your father? Who said? Every villager

knows. My daughter died two years back. If you want, can enquire with

the priest if I am performing the annual rites? If you were my daughter,

should have been with husband, or with me.

Saying, What wrong did I do,Nanna? Usha suddenly rushed to her

father and circled his legs with her hands.

Chi, stay away, who are you? My daughter was good would fetch lots

of honor to her father elevate the prestige of her clan. Could a fallen

woman be my daughter? Who says? I will throttle whoever says that.


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My daughter died long back. Making this old man a destitute, she left.

Hoped she would nurse me in this old age, but went away. Gone way

beyond. Poor kid! Are you my daughter! Do you think the old man has

lost his senses? No. Get lost; my daughter makes her presence in my

dreams daily. Tears rolled down from the old mans eyes.

Usha sobbed loudly.

Chi, shut your mouth, neighbors will hear, growled out her brother.

Waking up at that sound, her sister-in-law and sister-in-laws brother,

Raghu, hurriedly came out enquiring anxiously, What happened?

Whats there? The debased woman has returned home lest we should

live in honor, saidanna.

Usha could not restrain herself. What wrong has she done? How could

she live with her sister-in-law if he speaks so cheaply of her? Seeing her

sister-in-law, Usha could not contain her anger.

Annayya! Speak decently! Otherwise

Ah! Why this anger? What happened to this pride and honor while

leading a wayward life?

Talk like a man of sense.

How dare you? Besides returning, scowling at us, you?


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I told you already Beware, if you repeat

Living with whom for these two years, have you returned? You should

not stay in my house even for a minute. Get out! Why still standing?

I havent come to your house. Ive come to my fathers home. Say that

if I come to your house. In our struggle for independence, I, for

removing rails from the railway track, went to jail. Is it a wrong deed? Is

it stealing? Is it debauchery? It is in response to the call given by

Mahatma Gandhi that I went to jail. Putting bangles on your hands you

stayed at home like a destitute woman. Its because of worthless

creatures like you, women had to come out.

Choked by anger, anna remained quiet. Frowning at that, Raghu wished

how nice it would have been, had a CID been around.

Gandhiji never gave such a message. He never advised to do such

ghastly deeds. Will peace-loving Gandhiji ever appreciate such

dastardly acts? It is only recently that he publicly condemned such acts.

Enough of your senseless talk, but dont you attribute that sin to

Gandhiji, said heranna.

What Raghu! Havent you read out that pamphlet, Success or Death

to me? Werent you there on that day? What did you say on that day?

When I said, I will join the movement, what did you say?


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When did I say? Did I ask you to remove rails? When my party is

shouting about it as peoples war, what did I say to you? Having roamed

here and there, instead of being silent, started this too?

Usha felt sapped. She never anticipated that things would turn out like

this. She never thought that the very philosophy that she believed in

would accuse her ever. Involuntarily, she muttered, truth, peoples

war. Suddenly, the walls in the village and the palm trees along the

roads reeled in her mind.

With whom did you live for all these days? Dont think nobody knows

about your foul acts, saidannapouncing on her.

Dont these people know whether I am speaking the truth? Didnt

God above know? uttered Usha pathetically.

You are not to stay in the house even for a minute. Go. Get out. Its

enoughthe dishonor we have put up with so far is enough saidanna.

Gotalli[7], go! At least, our daughter shouldnt she get married? said

sister-in-law.

Usha held on to her fathers legs tightly. Her tears washed the old

mans feet.
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Why dont you go? Right two years ago we told the villagers that you

died of fever at your aunts house. Shouldnt we live in this village with

our heads held high? Go, go to him with whom you lived thus far.

Crying and saying, Nanna, Nanna, Usha grasped her fathers legs

more tightly.

Like tigers, Raghu and anna pounced on her. Perplexed, the old man

stared blankly.

Both of them together battered her. Having become a skeleton by

virtue of her living in the jail, she could not sustain the beating. And the

swan flew away from the skeleton.

That early morning, the canal alongside the village overflowed.

The Sun, as usual, rose in the east.

******

[1]Ammamother.

[2]Attafathers sister.

[3]Annayyaelder brother

[4]Kacherithe house around which the elders of the village usually gather.

[5]Nannafather.

[6]Dhotithe loincloth worn by male Hindus.

[7]Talliused more in a style of sarcastic adorationgo mam go!
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Indefinable Glory

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