Gender Communication
Are men from Mars
and
Women from Venus?
You Just Don’t Understandby Deborah Tannen
Males Females
Guise of Oppositionone-upsmanship
Guise of Connectionone-down
Focus on Statusavoid failure
Focus on Involvementavoid isolation
Focus on Independence Focus on Intimacy
Logical - thinkers Emotional-feelers
Problem-Solvers Gift of understanding
Sex and Gender Differencesin
Personal Relationships
• Gray’s motivation is $$$$$$$• 18 million from book sales
• $35,000 per seminar
• Claims are grossly exaggerated• use of anecdotal information
• Polarizing men and women offensive• creates greater distance
Moving Beyond Stereotypes
• Stereotypes become standards of behavior
• Bi-polar contructs essentialize “male” “female” qualities
• Behavior - Attitude Discrepancy
• Result - little social or scientific payoff
Understanding sex/gender requires more than stereotypes
Putnam (1982)
• Stereotypes do 2 things:
• a way to predict male/female behavior
• way to establish a baseline for expectations
about others
• Makes life simple and easy to explain
Canary & Emmers-Sommer Claim:
• Stereotypes do not adequately/accurately represent men/women’s interactions in personal relationships
• traditional view is outdated which distorts interactions
• people sometimes rely on stereotypes as guidelines for interaction-attitude behavior discrepancy
Defining Terms
• Sex - biological
• Gender - psych, social, cultural
• Sex role identity - degree to which one’s self is linked to biological differences
• Gender role identity - degree to which one’s self concept connects to psych, social, cultural understanding for males and females
Fear/Emotionin Personal Relationships
• Men - withdraw in close relationships and avoid discussion about relational issues
• Women - express feelings with more confrontational / hostile affect.
• Both experience fear about relationships– identification w/ gender role relates to
expression of fear
Similarities in Emotion
• Both bristle at unfair treatment
• Both avoid verbal venting of sadness
• Happy men and women both experience
closer and more satisfaction in reltshps
• Temperment (personality types) indicate
differences - not sex
Love, Sex, Intimacy
• Men and Women 82% similar
• Males/females-don’t subscribe to conventional, traditional gender roles
• Dwell on experience of LOVE• romantic dependency, compatibility,communal love
• Traditional Couples• less inclined to express feelings of closeness
• discuss intimate details of relationship
Both communicate
intimacy
through touch
DisclosureDual career Partners
• Both disclose to achieve/decrease intimacy
• high levels of SD resulted in more
relational satisfaction
• Both reported NOT disclosing for fear of
presenting an unwanted image
Romantic Involvements
• Both similar in willingness to sacrifice goals for relationship
• Both engage in sex to establish relational intimacy
• Women more likely to engage in sex to achieve emotional intimacy
• Men more likely to engage in sex for casual physical involvement
Clark, 1990
• Males or females approached opposite sex and propositioned him/her with a request to go to subject’s apartment
• RESULT - men significantly more likely to comply with the request.
• Male “Green-light” - Female “Red-Light” Phenomenon
Are there more similarities than differences
between men and women?
Top Related