written by: Nan Einarson, CTACC, - I Coach The Coaches · written by: Nan Einarson, CTACC, Business...

written by: Nan Einarson, CTACC,

Business Transformation Coach,

Creator of “Next-Level Coaching Business System Overcome Perfection and Procrastination”

Trainer/Mentor Coach [email protected] http://www.icoachthecoaches.com

Make It So Coaching Services

Legal Disclaimers & Notices All contents copyright © 2015 by http://www.icoachthecoaches.com, Nan Einarson. All rights reserved. No part of this document or accompanying files may be reproduced or transmitted in any form, electronic or otherwise, by any means without the prior written permission of the publisher. This ebook is presented to you for informational purposes only and is not a substitution for any professional advice. The contents herein are based on the views and opinions of the author and all associated contributors. While every effort has been made by the author and all associated contributors to present accurate and up to date information within this document, it is apparent technologies rapidly change. Therefore, the author and all associated contributors reserve the right to update the contents and information provided herein as these changes progress. The author and/or all associated contributors take no responsibility for any errors or omissions if such discrepancies exist within this document. The author and all other contributors accept no responsibility for any consequential actions taken, whether monetary, legal, or otherwise, by any and all readers of the materials provided. It is the readers sole responsibility to seek professional advice before taking any action on their part. Reader results will vary based on their skill level and individual perception of the contents herein, and thus no guarantees, monetarily or otherwise, can be made accurately. Therefore, no guarantees are made.

Overcome Perfection and Procrastination – The Top 10 Strategies for Type-A Coaches

© Copyright 2015 « Nan Einarson - http://www.icoachthecoaches.com [email protected] «

Table of Contents Creator of “Next-Level Coaching Business System

Overcome Perfection and Procrastination”……………………………….2

Legal Disclaimers & Notices…………………………………………......3

Welcome ……………………………………………………………….5

My Story - How I Stopped Perfection and Procrastination - And Changed My Life ……………………………………………….... 7

Strategy #10 - Establish Strong Support Systems……………………….14

Strategy # 9 - Create A Better Work/Play Balance…….……………….21

Strategy # 8 - Develop A Comprehensive Self-Care Plan…………....…27

Strategy # 7 - Maintain Home Office Boundaries…………...…………32

Strategy # 6 - Break Complex Goals Into Small Steps…………………37

Strategy # 5 - Stay Focused on the Most Important Tasks……………..45

Strategy # 4 - Prioritize Differently…………………………………….52

Strategy # 3 - Learn To Say "No"………………………………………59

Strategy # 2 - Face Your Fears…………………………………………64

Strategy # 1 - Stop Trying To Be Perfect………………………………70

In Summary - 10 Philosophies By Which To Live An Imperfect Life…77

About The Author……………………………………………………….79



Welcome – I am so glad that you are here, and that today is the day you’ve decided to give up perfection and procrastination.

You’re probably here because you’re just like how I used to be – always stressed about deadlines, always worried that I wouldn’t be able to get things done perfectly, working practically around the clock, and often at the point of just giving up.

You might feel like you are overwhelmed by the number of things you have to do, that are piling up. You feel frustrated and angry with yourself because you can’t decide where to even begin. You need clarity to ensure you’re taking the right steps to lead to success for your business.

And, you’re feeling physical effects from the stress – headaches, stomach pains, interrupted sleep, muscle aches & pains, etc.

Sound familiar?

Well, the good news is that those unhealthy, hurtful behaviours can be changed, as long as you are committed to change and are willing to do the work required to create new habits.

After much emotional and physical damage resulting from almost 60 years of perfectionism and procrastination, I am proud to call myself a Recovered Perfectionist and Procrastinator.

In this book, I will be sharing the secrets and tools I learned during my long, life-endangering experience. If I can save at least one person from having to endure what I put myself through, then I’ll be happy.

I hope you will enjoy this journey, as you learn the Top 10



Strategies for Type-A Coaches to overcome perfection and/or procrastination.

Even if you’re not a coach, the information and exercises in this book can help you to move forward toward your goals.

I would love to hear some of your challenges and wins. Please share your success stories with me.

Fondly,

,

Nan - Recovered Perfectionist and Procrastinator

Nan Einarson, CTACC, Business Transformation Coach Creator of “Next-Level Coaching Business System” CTA Trainer/Mentor Coach, http://www.icoachthecoaches.com [email protected] I motivate Type-A coaches to overcome perfection and procrastination, to meet or exceed their next-level business goals, and still have time for family, friends and FUN!



MY STORY –

HOW I STOPPED PERFECTION and PROCRASTINATION – AND CHANGED MY LIFE

The Early Years – The past always contributes to the present. I don’t want to dwell in the past or use the past as an excuse – I just want to point out where some of the seeds were planted. I was raised in a very dysfunctional family – alcoholic father who physically abused my mother and verbally abused everyone – the usual blah, blah, blah. My father was very strict. He left it to my mother to discipline my brother and I, and if we didn’t behave according to his expectations, he took it out on her. He was the “do as I say, not as I do!”, and “when I say jump, you say how high” type. If I came home with 90%, he wanted to know why it couldn’t have been 100%. When all the other kids were getting presents at the end of the school year, for passing, we got nothing – “it’s not what you get if you pass, it’s what you’ll get if you don’t pass!”. I’m sure many of you can relate. I think that those external expectations led to my internal quest and pressure to be perfect in all things. I was always tucked away in my room, doing homework and studying, terrified of failure. I was trying to be the perfect child – my mom had enough to deal with, with my dad, and I didn’t want to add to her problems by misbehaving or having poor grades. Consequently, I was a high achiever in school, always feeling under pressure to do better. All through my life, no matter what I attempted, I always wanted to do it perfectly. Of course, I was always disappointed in myself. I once attempted suicide in my early teens, by swallowing a bunch of pills, and was so disgusted with myself when I woke up in the morning – I couldn’t even do that right! I never told a soul about that, until I was in my fifties. When I was thirteen, I met my soul mate, Paul. We became best friends – we had a lot in common and for the first time, I was able to share my real story and my real feelings. We “went steady” when we were 16, then broke up after a year, to date other people. Three years later, we met, quite by chance, at a local burger joint, and began dating again. I had taken my going steady ring off while we were apart, and I put it back on again. We were married in 1970 and have been happily married ever since. To this day, I still wear my going steady ring.



The First Life/Mind Altering Change – When I was 35, I had a very bad fall, while roller-skating (don’t laugh). Roller- skating was very big in the 80’s, and it was a favourite hobby of mine, and my friends. I was doing a back cross-over, when my wheels must have touched and I went down. I was knocked unconscious and they carried me off the rink (talk about embarrassing). I had to have stitches on my chin, my TM joint was knocked sideways, my left shoulder and neck were messed up, and my right knee was sprained. I had to have surgery on my jaw, and later, on my shoulder. My neck and back were excruciatingly painful. That was the year I started learning to live with constant pain. I have since developed arthritis in my neck, back, left shoulder and both knees. The worst part of the fall, for me, was that I was a fitness instructor at the time. A friend and I had planned to open our own fitness studio one day, and were working toward that dream. I tried for a while to continue teaching fitness, but the damage and pain restricted my movements too much. It was a devastating loss for me, and the perfect excuse to procrastinate about finding a new career. As I healed, I took a number of business and leadership courses, with no clear idea where my life was headed. Eventually, I became a volunteer adult literacy tutor. I was offered opportunities to grow in the organization and of course, I could not resist. I became a trainer of volunteers, then Manager of Volunteers, then Executive Director. I wrote proposals, and a Manual for Managers of Volunteers that was distributed to adult literacy organizations across Ontario. I received a Canadian Literacy Award, and lots of other awards, including a provincial award as Manager of Volunteers of the Year, and was nominated for the Toronto (Ontario, Canada) “Women on the Move” award. I sat on numerous Boards of Directors, and became friends with the Mayor. I was constantly being approached to join committees and projects. For 2 years in a row, I was nominated for the YWCA “Woman Of the Year” Award. As my successes and reputation escalated, so did my work habits. I couldn’t stop – I had to “maintain my reputation”. I felt like everyone expected so much from me, and the more I did and the better I was, the more I felt was expected. Meanwhile, I was ignoring the fact that my back was so bad I could barely walk. I kept putting off going for medical attention and treatment. One night, after a meeting, I had to crawl from my car to my house. I had to start taking chiropractic and physiotherapy treatments, but nothing eliminated the constant pain. A physiotherapist told me I had Fibromyalgia. At that time, doctors did not believe in it as a valid condition. The thought was that it was all in the mind, and symptoms only occurred in Type-A, over-achieving personalities, like mine. The treatment was for me to totally change my attitude and my lifestyle. For the second time in 3 years, I had to leave my career. I had to leave the literacy organization and put all of the 1980’s behind me.



The Second Life/Mind Altering Change –

I spent 3 months of intense daily therapy at a back institute and took a total of 6 months off, for re-hab therapy, relaxing and reading self-help, motivational books to help me change my attitudes before I would begin to look for work again. I got a job as an Executive Director in a crisis/suicide telephone hotline organization. Their organization was an administrative mess, and I was to be their savior, to help them to grow and become better recognized in the community. No pressure there – in my head, I knew I could do the job – a piece of cake! As soon as I started, the perfection addiction kicked in. I was in my glory – writing Policy Manuals and Training Courses, creating a new system for managing volunteers, re-connecting with all of my community contacts. Before I knew it, I was being invited to meetings, committees, and boards of directors. I was instrumental in founding two new organizations – a volunteer resource centre, and a grief and bereavement support organization, and was instrumental in forming our local YWCA’s program for assessment and training of volunteer Boards of Education. My own organization grew and became a respected member of the community. I received personal accolades and again, my name and face were common in the newspapers. I constantly received invitations to become involved in community projects, all of which were exciting and challenging, and related to my skills, talents and expertise. I found it more and more difficult to say no. There was so much to be done, and I seemed to be the only one who could do it perfectly! I couldn’t set and respect my own boundaries.

I was on call 24 hours per day, to support suicide ideation calls, and initiate intervention. I worked 10 – 12 hour days in my office, and attended meetings most evenings. Many weekends were spent at conferences or in trainings. My family had always been my first priority, yet my work was seriously encroaching on my personal life. My kids were in their teens and didn’t need me as much, and I just couldn’t seem to change my work habits. And, I was procrastinating again about doing something about my health.



I was having a lot of stomach pain, from ulcers, and acid reflux that was so bad the acid was tipping over into my vocal cords and eating at them, causing bouts of laryngitis that lasted six weeks or more. During those periods of complete voice rest, I would go to work and attend meetings armed with flip chart paper and markers, to express myself! I worked through the pain for a couple of years, until I required nitrate pills to put under my tongue, to control the pain. My back was also getting really bad again, and I had to start using a cane to get around. I knew I had to change. I just didn’t know where to start. My doctor started telling me I was killing myself and would be dead before the year was out if I didn’t change my ways. He asked me if I’d rather die of a heart attack or a complete internal system breakdown. Then, and only then, did I consider my health to be a serious concern.

The Near-Death Experience That Changed Me Forever – I went into surgery for the correction of four ulcers (one of them bleeding slightly), a hiatus hernia, and the serious acid reflux issue. Three days after that surgery, something went wrong. My stomach began to swell, and by the end of five days, I looked like I was ten months pregnant. I could barely move. Half way through the week, my husband took me to the emergency department, and they just told me to call my surgeon in the morning. We had spoken to the surgeon’s office daily, and got no help. Exactly one week to the day of the first surgery, my husband demanded that the surgeon meet us in the emergency room of the hospital. When he saw me, his first words were ‘ “OMG – I’m so sorry!” Following a tube inserted to drain the stomach, and X-rays, an emergency surgery was scheduled for the first Operating Room that became available. Unbeknownst to me, my husband and two teen-aged children were told it was unlikely that I would survive the surgery, and to prepare for the worst. Apparently, something in my stomach had ruptured, and fluid had been leaking out, filling whatever space there was. I did survive, obviously, and spent a few days in intensive care before being moved to a bed on the surgical floor. When I learned what my poor family had gone through, worrying and wondering if I would even live through surgery, I was shocked, embarrassed and appalled that I had intentionally, selfishly, put my family through that kind of fear and worry. I apologized to them sincerely, and am so grateful that they forgave me. Four days after the emergency surgery to find and close the rupture site, they removed the oxygen mask, and it was discovered that my left lung had collapsed from the pressure of the liquid that filled my chest cavity. I vowed that I would change the way I conducted my life and my work. Over the next year, I did slow down and worked shorter hours and fewer days, and resigned from committees and boards that involved evening or weekend work.



I healed from the surgeries, although not entirely. One year later, almost to the day, I had to have a third stomach surgery, as a result of damage from the rupture situation the year before. They had to remove a third of my stomach, and re-attach the bowel differently. After taking 6 weeks to heal from that surgery, I had to take further leave because my back and neck started giving me serious pain and limiting my mobility. I left the organization, totally burned out, in the year 2000. I continued to ask about the Fibromyalgia I had been researching, convinced that my symptoms met the criteria for that diagnosis. It was still a disease not well known, and not accepted by most medical professionals.

The Next Phase – Chiropractic treatment helped me to heal physically, mentally and emotionally, along with a number of motivational, healing authors. After a year, I started to look for work in a different genre. I obtained a Diploma in Radio and Television Broadcasting, got picked up by an agent, and spent a year doing commercials, voice-overs and even some music videos! It was fun, going on auditions and working in the entertainment field. At the end of my contract, though, I couldn’t renew it. I knew I wasn’t getting any personal satisfaction or fulfillment from the work. I learned that my work had to be meaningful – to be of value and in service of others - in order for me to be feel happy and fulfilled. I did work for just over a year at a Toronto Home for the Aged, as the Manager of Volunteer Services, when I fell and broke my right wrist in two places. It turned out to be a very complicated break, which required specialized surgery involving several plates and screws, and much physiotherapy. Once again, I had to leave a career behind. Seeing the pattern, of falls, and pain, self-help books and healing, it occurred to me that there might be something I was intended to do, that I had not yet found, and I began to focus on what that might be. Manifested - When I learned about coaching, (through a television show called “Starting Over”) I knew that I had found my calling. I certified with CTA (Coach Training Alliance) in 2004, and became a member of their faculty in the fall of 2005. I started teaching Coach Certification Courses in January 2006. As a Trainer and Mentor Coach in mid-2015, I have personally trained and certified more than 600 coaches, who have started their own coaching businesses. It is incredibly fulfilling to know that I have touched their lives, and through them, countless others, as they helped people to live better lives. I feel like the stone thrown into the lake, or ocean, creating countless ripples and countless changes.



Life Today – Today, I feel so blessed that I can honestly say that I am living a life that I LOVE! I have a healthy, happy, work-play balance and for me, life is GREAT. P.S. I was finally, officially diagnosed with Fibromyalgia in 2011, by a Rheumatologist. Fibromyalgia (FM) has now been recognized as a disease in the brain’s pain centre, which sends messages of pain to all parts of the body. Government and other disability programs now accept FM as a legitimate diagnosis for disability claims. It affects thousands of people and is exacerbated by stress – not necessarily connected to Type-A overachievers, as was once believed. I feel so validated, knowing now that I wasn’t the cause of the invisible pain that I live with on a daily basis. Today, my pain is managed through medication, movement, respect for my body, and my commitment to accommodating its needs – to rest, to slow down, or to stop, as necessary. I now listen and pay attention to the signals, and do whatever my body tells me it needs. I will never procrastinate about doing that again! As a result of my efforts to learn about my behaviour – my addiction to perfection and my habit of procrastination, I have been able to develop the Top 10 Strategies for Type-A Coaches to overcome perfection and/or procrastination!! I have compiled a Top 10 List, counting down from Number 10 to Number 1, and talk about each of them in this book. In addition, I have asked some coaching questions, to help you recognize your triggers and to plan action steps to avoid and prevent the effects of perfection and procrastination. Do yourself a favour – as you go through each of these reasons, take an honest, introspective look at yourself and your behaviours. Self-awareness is a very important part of recovery. Resolve to take the actions that will help you to change the habits that do not serve you well. Find someone you trust, and share with that person, your intention to let go of perfection and/or procrastination. Share each action step that you commit to taking, and the deadline you put on yourself for completing the action. Tell your accountability partner how and when you will report to them once you have done what you said you would do. Rinse and Repeat, until you know you are changed.

I hope that my experience as a driven, workaholic perfectionist whose procrastination nearly killed her will save others from having to go through what I did. If I can help only one person move from being an active, procrastinating perfectionist to being a recovered perfectionist and procrastinator, I will be happy and fulfilled.



Living a Purposeful, Values-Driven Life has brought me Peace, Fulfillment, and Meaning

And a Happy, Healthy, Balanced Lifestyle

It’s possible that not all of the following 10 Strategies will apply to you or appeal to you, and that’s fine. Choose the one or ones that are a good fit for you, your habits and your life/work style. You might find that you have a favourite strategy that works all of the time for you, or you might find that you prefer to use one or two or more, to make you feel comfortable in confident as you combat perfection and/or procrastination. I hope that you will find them helpful for you in all situations, at home, work and play.



STRATEGY # 10 ESTABLISH STRONG SUPPORT SYSTEMS -

Working in isolation, especially in a home office, can cause a loss in motivation to get out of the house. That’s dangerous, because networking is an extremely important part of an effective coaching business. Networking events bring opportunities to meet potential clients, potential referral sources, potential support allies, and potential mentors. A good support system is necessary tor life coaches to start, build, grow, and maintain a healthy, successful and prosperous coaching business. There are 2 parts to every good support system – Part 1 - A good support system includes strong Internal Resources.

That means:

♦ being totally committed to doing whatever it takes to make your business profitable and successful;

♦ maintaining the mindset (motivation, courage and tenacity) necessary to creating change and new habits;

♦ giving free consultation/exploration/discovery/sample sessions;

♦ regularly attending networking events;

♦ facilitating group events; ♦ developing passive income products and affiliate associations;

♦ being willing to try, and to fail, and to try again, and again, and again;



♦ being willing to make mistakes, find the learning in them, and grow from them;

♦ believing that anything is possible, and thinking big, outside the box being open to outcome, not attached to it, and willing to try new options and resources;

♦ living the Law of Attraction – Believing that what you focus on,

you manifest, and understanding that our thoughts have vibrational energies. And, since like attracts like, negative thoughts attract negative resources and positive thoughts attract positive ones. It’s

important to look at every situation in life from a positive perspective, with a continual focus on what you want and need. The Universe is abundant and there is plenty for everyone. ♦ taking the time to sit back and “centre” and just “be” in the moment,

fully present; ♦ adopting a strong self-care regimen that will keep you healthy

physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually;

♦ living an intentional, purposeful, values-driven life.

Part 2 -

A good support system includes strong External Resources.

That means:

♦ having a good business plan;

♦ having written SMART Goals, personal and business, and

accompanying SMART Action Steps;



♦ having a good scheduling tool, incorporating business, personal/family

and self-care actions, appointments and events;

♦ having human resources (allies) to whom you can turn for:

- Ideas and/or sharing;

- Brainstorming;

- Planning and Goal-Setting;

- Friendship and having Fun;

- Venting;

- Coaching;

- Accountability;

- Partnerships/Joint Ventures;

- Training;

- Delegation (performing tasks that you can’t/don’t want to do,

which will let you spend time doing things you do best;

- Helping you meet your business and personal needs and/or wants.

- A lot of people believe that asking for help is a sign of weakness, when in fact it is the exact opposite. It takes strength and courage to admit that there is something you don’t know, or something that you can’t do, and to admit that you need help;



- As coaches, we are natural givers, and as givers we experience on a

regular basis, how good it feels to help others.

We all know that it is impossible to give or help without getting

something pleasant in return;

- When you ask for someone’s help, you are gifting them with the

experience of realizing how good it feels to help another person. To deliberately withhold yourneed for help is, in effect a selfish act –

because you are preventing that person from giving, and helping you, and receiving that pleasant feeling that comes from giving;

- Your support ally must be someone you trust, with whom you can share your thoughts and feelings. It could be: a friend; family member or colleague; a clergy person (depending on your religious / spiritual beliefs; a therapist or counsellor a coach; someone in your support group or online forum; someone in a work-related association; your hairstylist;

your spa/salon technician; etc. So don’t be afraid to decide what it is you need, in order to break through procrastination. Find the person who can give you what you need, and ask them for their help.

You will both be glad you did! “TWENTY YEARS FROM NOW, YOU WILL BE MORE DISAPPOINTED BY THE THINGS YOU DIDN’T DO, THAN BY THE ONES YOU DID”.

- Mark Twain

“I AM NOT A PRODUCT OF MY CIRCUMSTANCES. I AM A PRODUCT OF MY DECISIONS”.

- Stephen Covey

“DO WHAT YOU CAN, WHERE YOU ARE, WITH WHAT YOU HAVE”

- Teddy Roosevelt



Psychology professor Dr. Gail Matthews, Dominican University of California has conducted a study which “provides empirical evidence for the effectiveness of three coaching tools: accountability, commitment, and writing down one’s goal

WORK ON CREATING THE SUPPORT SYSTEM AND RESOURCES THAT WILL WORK BEST FOR YOU -

Ask someone you trust to be your accountability partner. That means they will not let you “wiggle out” of your intentions/goals/action steps, and will “hold your feet to the fire” to ensure that you will follow through, and do what you said you would do. You will: - tell that person your intention (goal and action step), - set a deadline by which you intend to complete the action; - tell your accountability partner how and when you will report back once the action has been completed.

ANSWER THE FOLLOWING COACHING QUESTIONS:

1. What has to change in order for you to have the strong internal resources necessary for you to start and grow a healthy, successful, profitable coaching business?



Describe your internal support system after those changes -

2. What does your external support look like right now?

3. What has to change in order for you to have the strong, external

support system you will need to have the kind of coaching business you want?



4. Add the changes to both your internal and your external support system to your SMART Goals and Charts and begin implementing the Action Steps

5. How will these changes impact on you, in your coaching business, and

in your personal life once they are complete?



STRATEGY # 9 CREATE A BETTER WORK/PLAY BALANCE –

If you’re a perfectionist who hasn’t already burned out from lack of self-care, don’t worry – there’s still plenty of time for you to get there! I know that’s pretty sarcastic. It’s actually a warning.

If your entire life up until now, or at least most of it, has been focused on all work and no play, it’s definitely time for a change.

Think about all of the pieces of the “pie” that makes up your life. What are they?

Of course there is your business or career, and what else?

- Relationships – spouse/partner, children, grandchildren, family, friends, colleagues, others? - Finances – daily/monthly/annual budget, savings, planning for the future? - Health - physical, emotional, mental? - Religion/Spirituality - current and/or future? - Recreation – hobbies, exercise, games/clubs? - Community - volunteerism, charitable donations, politics, other active community involvement? - Personal Growth – lifelong learning, personal motivation, living on purpose, values-driven life, personal passions? - Career/Business/Job - goals – short term & long term, living your life purpose?



Is there anything else in your life that you care about and want to focus on – for example, helping: the economy, the environment, animals/wildlife, etc.? Look at the Life Balance Wheel on the next page, and create a section for each “pie piece” you have identified from the list above. Rate each of the pie pieces from 0 – 10 (10 being the very best it could be, and 0 being the lowest it could be), indicating where you life is now in that area. Then decide where you would like each of the pieces to be. That’s your goal – to get each piece of your life where you want it to be. Prioritize, and answer the coaching questions that follow, to start working on one piece at a time. Continue to do that with all of the pieces that you want/need to work on, and you will end up with a quality of life that is fun, fulfilling, healthy, prosperous, and balanced! “CHALLENGES ARE WHAT MAKE LIFE INTERESTING, AND OVERCOMING THEM IS WHAT MAKES LIFE MEANINGFUL” - Joshua J Marine “LET THE REFINING AND IMPROVING OF YOUR OWN LIFE KEEP YOU SO BUSY THAT YOU HAVE LITTLE TIME TO CRITICIZE OTHERS” - H. Jackson Brown Jr. “THE ONLY WAY TO GET STARTED IS TO QUIT TALKING AND BEGIN DOING” - Walt Disney



The Wheel of Life Draw a Large Circle, then draw intersecting Lines across the Circle. Each piece represents Your Categories of Life (usually there are 8 primary categories, which may be subdivided). Label Them:

EXAMPLE

8

9

7

2

4

5

8

6

WHEEL OF LIFE INSTRUCTIONS The 8 sections in the Wheel of Life represent balance.

• Please change, split or rename any category so that it’s meaningful and represents a balanced life for you.

• Next, taking the centre of the wheel as 0 and the outer edge as 10, rank your level of satisfaction with each area out of 10 by drawing a straight or curved line to create a new outer edge (see example)

• The new perimeter of the circle represents your ‘Wheel of Life’. Is it a bumpy ride?



WORK ON CREATING THE WORK/PLAY BALANCE THAT WILL WORK BEST FOR YOU – Ask someone you trust to be your accountability partner. That means they will not let you “wiggle out” of your intentions/goals/action steps, and will “hold your feet to the fire” to ensure that you will follow through, and do what you said you would do. You will: - tell that person your intention (goal and action step), - set a deadline by which you intend to complete the action; - tell your accountability partner how and when you will report back once the action has been completed.


1. Look at the piece of your life that you have rated the lowest. Rate where you want your life in that area to be - what would your life in that area look and feel like if you reached your goal?



2. With that goal in mind, what action steps will you commit to taking, in order for you to get to that level within a reasonable timeframe of your choosing? Make sure your goals and action steps are specific, measurable, achievable, risky, and with a timeframe/deadline.

3. Complete Action Steps as required, until you reach your goal level. Take note of your feelings - do you feel the way you hoped you would? If not, do what it will take to get you to that place?



4. Rinse and Repeat for each piece of your life on the Wheel until you have achieved the balance you were looking for in your life.

5. What feelings come up for you after each piece is improved/resolved?

6. What will you commit to doing, to ensure that your life won’t go out of balance due to perfectionism or procrastination again?



STRATEGY # 8 DEVELOP A COMPREHENSIVE SELF-CARE PLAN -

Perfectionists are very good at focusing so much on producing a perfect project, product or service, that we become all-consumed by our efforts. We work long hours, usually forgetting or foregoing breaks or meals, weekends or vacations. We can do this for long periods of time. Our bodies protest – we get headaches, backaches, high blood pressure, ulcers, colds, flu, etc. – the list goes on and on. What do we do when our bodies protest? We push them harder – no pain, no gain, right? We become martyrs – look at us, we can “take a licking, and keep on ticking”. We’re proud of the fact that we can continue our pledge to perfection, even though our health deteriorates. Family and friends tell us to slow down, and/or to seek medical attention. We procrastinate about going to a doctor. We’re sure we can just work through the pain and get better on our own. We know the impact the mind has over the body. We believe we can just tell our bodies to stop complaining, to stop hurting. What we don’t realize is the fact that our tired, over-worked minds have the power to make our bodies hurt more, to become sicker and sicker. Our minds want us to stop hurting our bodies, and eventually, make it physically, emotionally, and mentally impossible for us to continue. It’s called burn-out. Entrepreneurs, especially solopreneurs working from a home office, must realize that they are in a marathon, not a sprint. Solopreneurs, especially in the early years, ARE their business. They are the face of the business, and are responsible for starting, building and growing the business. They are the service-providers, the marketers, the networkers, the speakers, the facilitators, the product developers, the administrators, the money-makers. They are responsible for every decision about the business. They must provide their own pension and benefit plans.



Therefore, self-care for perfectionists is an absolute necessity, especially when one is an entrepreneur. It’s not a luxury, it’s nothing to feel guilty about – it’s self -preservation. Self-care looks different for everyone. For some, it’s a long soak in a bubble bath, for others, it’s a day at a spa, it’s time to read a good book, or go to a movie, or take a nap, to take a few days off, or to take a week-long vacation. It’s imperative that self-care be acknowledged and implemented regularly. To procrastinate about self-care is to invite burn-out. Whether you require your self-care daily, weekly, monthly, or annually, or some combination thereof, be sure to include it regularly in your scheduling system. I now schedule my self-care time first, on my annual calendar, and schedule my work activities around them. And, I’m open to participating in unplanned self-care activities that come along (aka FUN!). “YOUR SMILE IS YOUR LOGO, YOUR PERSONALITY IS YOUR BUSINESS CARD, HOW YOU LEAVE OTHERS FEELING AFTER HAVING HAD AN EXPERIENCE WITH YOU BECOMES YOUR TRADEMARK” - Author Unknown IF YOU DO WHAT YOU HAVE ALWAYS DONE, YOU WILL GET WHAT YOU”VE ALWAYS GOTTEN” - Tony Robbins



WORK ON CREATING THE SELF-CARE PLAN THAT WILL WORK BEST FOR YOU – Ask someone you trust to be your accountability partner. That means they will not let you “wiggle out” of your intentions/goals/action steps, and will “hold your feet to the fire” to ensure that you will follow through, and do what you said you would do. You will: - tell that person your intention (goal and action step), - set a deadline by which you intend to complete the action; - tell your accountability partner how and when you will report back once the action has been completed.


1. What does self-care look for you?

2. How do you currently schedule your self-care activities?



3. What will have to change in order for you to ensure that you get the necessary self-care that will help you avoid burn-out and reduce the stress that can cause procrastination?

4. What action steps do you intend to take in order for you to have necessary, regular self-care?



5. What will you commit to doing, to ensure that perfectionism and/or procrastination are kept in check, so that you remain healthy, happy and successful?



STRATEGY # 7 MAINTAIN HOME OFFICE BOUNDARIES -

Being an entrepreneur is tough. And, it’s even worse when you are a solopreneur, working alone in a home office. It can be isolating, and requires strong self-discipline and a strong set of personal boundaries. As perfectionists, we want to wait until the time is exactly right for us, and until we are feeling in prime productivity/creativity mode. What personal boundaries might be needed? Well, how about the following:

1. Actually going into your office to work, and not being distracted by non-work related tasks (housekeeping duties, washing car, going out to run errands, etc)?

Set regular office hours for yourself, and stick to them. Focus on priority activities, both professional and personal.

2. Letting family members and friends know that you are serious about making this

business a success, and that you will be working on your business regularly? If necessary, post office hours on the outside door to your home, as well as on your office door, to remind others (and yourself) that this is also your place of business. Or, post reminder notes on your office door or anywhere else of times when you will need quiet privacy

3. Remembering to treat your office as any other workplace, complete with “coffee” and lunch break time, in addition to set work hours per day?

Set regular breaks in the day, as you would at any place of business. Use a timer and/or alarm, if necessary, to help you get into the habit of a daily routine for working your business. You don’t have to work 40-60 hours per week – work smarter, not harder!



4. Keeping focused on the important tasks, and not getting seduced into checking up on email, Facebook, Twitter, and other Social Media sites several times per day?

You might want to try setting a specific time, daily, for checking email and social media – perhaps at noon, or at the end of the day. If willpower isn’t enough, try keeping a “fine” jar, and putting a coin – nickel, dime, etc into it each time you stray away from your intended work onto the Internet or elsewhere. You’ll be amazed at the number of times you go onto the Internet “just for a minute”. If you stay on for more than 5 minutes, double your fine for each 5 minutes you spend on it.

5. Treating your home office as a legitimate place of business, rather than just another room in your home?

You might want to keep some of the rituals in place that started your workday off when you worked outside your home. Try dressing for work each day in business attire, if you need to. Try getting into your car and driving to the nearest coffee shop for the morning coffee you brought in to start your workday each morning. Or, take a walk around the block and “enter” your workplace from outside, to give it a feel of arriving at work.

“EITHER YOU RUN THE DAY, OR THE DAY RUNS YOU” – Jim Rohn

“START WHERE YOU ARE. USE WHAT YOUR HAVE. DO WHAT YOU CAN” - Arthur Ashe



WORK ON SETTING THE BOUNDARIES THAT WILL WORK BEST FOR YOU Ask someone you trust to be your accountability partner. That means they will not let you “wiggle out” of your intentions/goals/action steps, and will “hold your feet to the fire” to ensure that you will follow through, and do what you said you would do. You will: - tell that person your intention (goal and action step), - set a deadline by which you intend to complete the action; - tell your accountability partner how and when you will report back once the action has been completed.


1. What strategies have worked to keep you focused on work in the past, when you worked outside of your home office?



2. How can you use those same strategies now, and apply them to your own, home-based business in your home office?

3. What other boundaries are you having trouble maintaining? 4. What strategies do you have for recognizing and adhering to those

boundaries?



5. What action steps will you require and when do you plan to initiate and complete them?



STRATEGY # 6 BREAK COMPLEX GOALS INTO SMALL STEPS -

If you don’t know where you’re going, you’ll probably never get there. Instead, you’ll be wandering endlessly, looking for something you won’t recognize. It’s very important to have goals, written goals, so you will have directions to follow. When you’re open to outcome, you might have an idea about where you want to go, and you’re open to taking detours and making stops along the way. And, if you don’t know what success in your business and in your life will look like, how will you know when you get there, and have achieved what you wanted? Goals must be SMAARRT – that is: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Accountable, Realistic, Risky, Time-Limited And, within each Goal, there must be SMAARRT Action Steps aligned with the Goal. Most perfectionists look at the project or goal as a unit. Eg. – “I have to make a website”. That goal, making a website, is a huge task. Most people get stuck because they don’t have all the answers right away, and cannot deliver the complete package. – “If I don’t have everything right, it won’t be good enough (aka “perfect”), and I won’t be able to launch it”. It can’t be perfect, so the fears are coming up, there are multiple priorities (all at the same level), there are multiple activities to do within each project – I’m overwhelmed. I’m stuck! So, what works? THE SMAARRT CHART – Example >



PROJECT = Create A Website Deadline = 2 Months From Start Date

Action Step Who/What Deadline Q – How much time would a website builder need to design and build and get a site optimized and up and running? How much would it cost? What would they need from me? Q – I need an Accountability Partner to help me see this through – Ask xxxxxx to be my AP

I will research sites online and call 4 web builders to find out the answers to those questions. I will contact colleagues with websites and ask my questions. I’ll hire a web builder. I will tell my Accountability Partner what I intend to do about getting a website

2 Days -email AP with results

Q - How do I get a logo for my site?

I’ll research graphic artists, web builders, ask colleagues for referrals, and check out Fiverr.com. Then, I’ll hire a graphic artist / logo designer.

1 Day email AP with results

Q - How do I get a Domain Name?

I will go to Domain Hosts (referred by web builder and /or colleagues) and research if names I want are available. I will register a Domain Name

1 Day email AP with results



Q - How do I find a Hosting Service?

I’ll research online, and compare services & costs. I’ll ask my web builder – I’ll make a decision and hire a hosting service.

½ Day email AP with results

Q - How do I decide what content to give the web builder?

Discuss the design of the site, including their recommendations about tabs

½ Day email AP with results

Develop content for: 1. Home Page; 2. About Me; 3. About Coaching/My

Coaching; 4. Services/Rates/Plans, etc. 5. Any other

Focus on spending one day for each page. It doesn’t have to be perfect – it can always be altered any time, later.

5 Days email AP with results

Q - Will I have photos, audio, video, quiz, survey, Opt-In Box, Free Gift, etc., on my site?

As desired, produce photo, audio, video product, survey, etc., and send them to web builder to upload

5 Days email AP with results

Q - What do I do after I’ve given every-thing to the web-builder?

Work with the web builder, edit ask for changes as needed, ask questions, send link to friends or family for feedback/suggestions

Over the next 5 weeks email AP with results



Review final draft of web site

If it’s OK, sign off on it – if the web builder has not meant the deadline or has not met your needs, negotiate a price discount

Deadline Met (or Not) email AP with results

Express gratitude to Accountability Partner

Send thank you card, or take gift, or take AP out for lunch, etc., as thanks.

Within 1 week after Deadline

This kind of chart can be used for every goal. If you are unsure of the steps involved in achieving a goal, come up with questions you need to ask and find the people who will know the answers, so you can move forward.

You might find that you complete a task earlier than expected. You an choose to move up the deadline for the next task, to maintain your focus on the goal, or you can use the extra time for other tasks unrelated the goal (as long as they will not distract you from going back to the goal). One thing for sure is that you have got to pat yourself on the back for a job well done, and treat yourself to a nice reward. You can announce the launch of your website , Social Media sites like Facebook, Linkedin, Twitter, Pinterest, Periscope, Blab, etc. Do you remember how to eat an elephant? One spoonful at a time! Whatever the goal, remember to take baby steps. One step at a time will get you No procrastination!



“OBSTACLES ARE THOSE FRIGHTFUL THINGS YOU SEE WHEN YOU TAKE YOUR EYES OFF THE GOAL”. - Henry Ford “INSPIRATION EXISTS, BUT IT MUST FIND YOU WORKING” - Pablo Picasso WORK ON THE BREAKING DOWN COMPLEX GOALS SYATEM THAT WORKS BEST FOR YOU – Ask someone you trust to be your accountability partner. That means they will not let you “wiggle out” of your intentions/goals/action steps, and will “hold your feet to the fire” to ensure that you will follow through, and do what you said you would do. You will: - tell that person your intention (goal and action step), - set a deadline by which you intend to complete the action; - tell your accountability partner how and when you will report back once the action has been completed.




1. Look at your written SMAARRT Goals, and prioritize them, if you have not

already done so.

2. For Priority Goal #1, create and complete a SMARRT Chart. When will you begin to work on the first Action Step?



3. What Goals/Projects are keeping you stuck? Start with the first one: - Create a SMAARRT Chart, as above, and fill in the first 3 Action Steps you will need to take; - Fill in the WHO and the Deadline Date; - If possible, fill in all of the Steps needed to reach the Completed Deadline Date. - When will you begin to work on the first Action Step?

If you are having problems with any of these steps, what do you need to do/ who do you need to ask to find the answers and get them done?



RINSE and REPEAT – Repeat these steps for all Goals/Projects that are keeping you stuck!

4. What goals will you set, that relate to the various compartments of your business life (admin, marketing, networking, service delivery, product development, etc.), and your personal life? Use the time management tools from Strategy 5 to determine how much time you have for each compartment, and integrate that into your SMAARRT Chart



STRATEGY # 5 STAY FOCUSED ON THE MOST IMPORTANT TASKS - So you’ve got plenty of Action Steps, but you’ve still got to talk to clients and answer the phones and email, think of content for your next newsletter and manage the home and family, not to mention self-care, friends, colleagues, hobbies, etc. How are you going to fit it all in? Overwhelm and time management are two of the most common issues facing small business owners, and causing procrastination. The following will help you utilize some practical tools to help create a sense of control. Think about your activities within a working day. How much of it is focused on the activities that will bring money into your day? Most people start their day with personal activities – perhaps exercising, meditation, Then, on to the business day – how many times per day do you check your emails? And, within those emails, how many links do your follow to other sites? How many ezines do you read in a day? How long do you sit at your computer thinking about what to say in your blog, and then writing and re-writing it before it’s published? How much time do you spend on Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter, Linkedin, YouTube and others? What other activities are you involved in while you do these things? Most of us enjoy multi-tasking. However, if you look at the activities above, how manly of them are truly focused on the most important tasks? If multi-tasking is focused on the wrong activities, your business is not getting the attention it needs, and your business is not going to be prosperous, or grow. In business, efforts that will bring in money have to have top priority. Consider the ways to create income in a coaching business:

1. One-on-One Clients – coaching sessions; 2. Group Events – speaking tours, facilitating teleclasses / workshops/ seminars /

webinars; 3. Product Sales – passive income through website, group events, booths, etc.; 4. Affiliate Revenue – selling others’ products and receiving commissions;



5. Marketing Strategies - bringing traffic to your website, where your signature program, products and services are for sale.

In a priority review, it would seem that a website would be a top priority, through which service and product sales can be conducted. Product development would also have a top priority, to generate passive income. And, group events could lead to one-on-one coaching, further groups, and product sales. PICK ONE! Or, as Nike would say – “Just DO IT!” Pick one of the top priority projects and start working on it. Make it your priority every day, until it’s completed. It can always be edited or re-worked later. It doesn’t have to be perfect, it just has to be started!

IMPERFECTLY STARTED IS BETTER THAN PERFECTLY INCOMPLETE

DO NOT be distracted from the steps that will go into creating what you want – - emails can be checked once or twice a day only – perhaps at noon and/or in the last hour of the working day; - there are programs available that will schedule topics for your blog, and you can even find people to write your blog for you; - if you are not able to create your own website, there are people who can build one for you. “IT DOES NOT MATTER HOW SLOWLY YOU GO, AS LONG AS YOU DO NOT STOP” - Confucious



WORK ON FOCUSING ON THE MOST IMPORTANT TASKS THAT WILL WORK BEST FOR YOU - Ask someone you trust to be your accountability partner. That means they will not let you “wiggle out” of your intentions/goals/action steps, and will “hold your feet to the fire” to ensure that you will follow through, and do what you said you would do. You will: - tell that person your intention (goal and action step), - set a deadline by which you intend to complete the action; - tell your accountability partner how and when you will report back once the action has been completed.


1. What are your priorities? - You’ve already spent some time thinking about the goals for your business. What are your SMAARRT goals and action steps for the next 30, 60, or 90 days that will help you reach your Ultimate end goal?



2. Take a look at your current To-Do List. - What things are you procrastinating about? Beside each, state what do you need, to break through the procrastination –

- Is it something you need to learn to do yourself? - Is it someone you need to do something for you? - Is it someone to support you or provide accountability, to help you?

3. What are you going to DITCH on your TO-Do List? - If there are things festering on your list that have been there for months, could you take the plunge and just cross them off, accepting the fact that they are never going to get done? If you feel you can’t, ask yourself the questions in #2, above.



4. What are you going to DELEGATE on your To-Do List? - What is an hour of your time worth? - If you don’t know, work it out. - If it costs you less to bring someone else in to do the things you don’t like or don’t want to do (eg – your accounts), than it costs you to bring clients into your business by doing other activities, what stops you? Maybe you can hire a babysitter, or a house cleaner, or a virtual assistant. Write down 3 things you are going to start delegating, and to whom.

5. What are you going to get started on and actually DO on your To-Do List?



6. How many hours do you have in your working week?

How are you actually spending them now? - Break down the ways you spend your time now, and estimate the number of hours you spend on each.

7. How do you want to be spending them? - Here’s where your priority list really comes in handy! List each activity you would like to undertake – eg. marketing, administration, delivery, etc., and make a note of the number of hours you would like to spend on each (make sure this doesn’t exceed the number of hours in your working week).



8. What changes will you commit to making, to take control of your priority management?

9. If you are looking for work-fun balance, make sure that your To-Do List Includes all elements of your life, not just business



STRATEGY # 4 PRIORITIZE DIFFERENTLY -

Type-A, overachieving people are often very good at seeing all sides of a problem or issue, and at seeing the validity of a variety of options. The result of all of that careful thinking is that we often cannot make a decision to save our lives! We can’t decide which one could be done perfectly and the fears come up, we’re indecisive about which choice to make, and so what do we do? We procrastinate! Or, we spend countless hours working to create perfect results. We throw out a lot of our efforts, working and re-working, because they don’t meet our high standards. And then, we procrastinate some more. How many projects have you tried to start, and then eventually abandoned, unfinished? Procrastination is the result of need. You must determine the greatest need – do you need more training for yourself; do you need to hire someone with the skills you don’t have; do you need personal support/motivation; do you need an accountability partner to help you ensure that you will do what you said you would do? In business, efforts that will bring money have to have top priority. Consider the ways to create income in a coaching business, as discussed in Strategy 5:

1. One-on-One Clients – coaching sessions; 2. Group Events – speaking tours, facilitating teleclasses / workshops/ seminars; 3. Product Sales – passive income through website, group events, booths, etc.; 4. Affiliate Revenue – selling others’ products and receiving commissions; 5. Marketing Strategies - bringing traffic to your website, where your signature

program, products and services are for sale. So which of these efforts has the greatest priority?



Numbers 1 and 2 require your personal involvement and your personal time. You are your business. They are both very important. Of those two, Number 2 has the ability to bring in more money than Number 1. One-on-one coaching has a predictable limit to the number of sessions and the amount that can be earned in any particular time period. You are trading time for money. Group Events provide options for making more money during the same time period. In addition, products and one-on-one sessions can be sold at the Group Events. What do YOU need, in order to develop and present a group event of some kind (speech/presentation; teleclass / teleseries; webinar; workshop/seminar, etc.)? Number 3 requires that you work at creating or obtaining products and ensuring their development into professional-looking packages. Technology does the rest, selling to your database, and income will flow from the sales. A website is essential for product sales, as well as the technology systems within, such as opt-in box/free gift, autoresponder, shopping cart software, etc.. In addition to an optimized, effective website, what else do YOU need, in order to create / have products or services to sell from your site? Number 4 can be achieved in two ways. The first is to sign up as an Affiliate with other businesses, and when your clients buy their products from your link, you receive a commission cheque from those businesses. The second way is for you to develop relationships with referral sources who share your target market niche. If you refer people who purchase products or services, you get a cheque for the referral (and visa versa). Number 5 can bring a lot of traffic to your website, or those of others with whom you affiliate. These are particularly successful ways to help “launch” your new product or service, program or package, or those of other Affiliates, from whom you will earn commissions for referrals. Base your priorities on which activities will contribute to bringing income into your business, in the shortest time possible, and will leave you with the time to do what



you do best. Remember that “high touch” connections – that personal (in real) time spent interacting, listening, developing relationships with people will always reap the biggest, best, long-term and on-going benefits. People will buy from those they know, like and trust. “DEFINITENESS OF PURPOSE IS THE STARTING POINT OF ALL ACHIEVEMENT” - W. Clement Stone “I AM NOT A PRODUCT OF MY CIRCUMSTANCES. I AM A PRODUCT OF MY DECISIONSS” - Stephen Covey WORK ON PRIORITIZING DIFFERENTLY, IN A WAY THAT WILL WORK BEST FOR YOU - Ask someone you trust to be your accountability partner. That means they will not let you “wiggle out” of your intentions/goals/action steps, and will “hold your feet to the fire” to ensure that you will follow through, and do what you said you would do. You will: - tell that person your intention (goal and action step), - set a deadline by which you intend to complete the action; - tell your accountability partner how and when you will report back once the action has been completed.




1. HOW do you think you want to start bringing money into your business?

2. What products of your own are currently available, either as a free gift or for selling, that will be of value to your target market?

3. If you do not have products of your own, what and where can you access

others’ products, either for a free gift or for selling, that will be of value to your target market?



4. What shape is your website in? Is it live? Is there an Opt-in Box for

visitors to your site to register and provide their names and email addresses?

Is an autoresponder program in place to contain your data base, and contact your people via email, blog, ezine, etc?

Is a Shopping Cart system in place, to accept sales order via credit cards or PayPal, etc? Is your site optimized, pointed at your niche market, filled with keywords to attract your niche to your site, linked to your Social Media sites (Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Linkedin, Periscope, Blab, etc).? What will you need to do, to ensure that your website is ready, as an optimized, interactive, money-collecting partner to your business?



5. What are your feelings about starting an ezine and/or a blog? What might prevent you from starting one or both? Where will you find answers to your needs about blogs/ezines?

6. What must happen for you to begin bringing money into your business?



Create and write down SMART Goals and Action Steps that will get you started on creating a financially viable business?



STRATEGY # 3 LEARN TO SAY “NO” -

Coaches are givers. We do this work because we love to help others – we desire to work in service of others. When someone has a need or a want, our immediate reaction is to try to jump in and help, however we can. It’s our nature. It’s who we are. Everything we see and hear is interesting to us, and with our “open to possibilities” mindset, we see opportunities everywhere. The inability to say no to an interesting project or an interesting person creates multiple problems. It throws off schedules and plans, it adds additional deadlines, it produces more stress, and it calls up those fears – about not being liked by others, unless we agree to help. It adds stress, and causes more procrastination. Saying “No” to a Task/Project – It’s important to have a set of benchmarks against which potential projects can be measured for acceptance. For example – Exactly what is expected of you in this project? • Do you have the skills, talents, expertise, eetc., required for the project, or will

you have to find an bring in additional resourced? • Do you have the time available to attend meetings and do the work that is required

of you?

Exactly what will result if you take on this project? • Does your schedule allow you the time required to complete the project? • What will have to be delayed or cancelled if you take on this project? • What will the consequences be, should you delay or cancel something already on

your schedule? • What are the benefits to you, your business, your family, and/or others, for

accepting the project?



• What impact will your accepting the project have on you, your business, your

family, and/or others? • What if you don’t take on the project? • What if you do?

Running each potential project through this checklist provides the time and the tool needed for you to avoid knee-jerk responses, and to make good decisions about the tasks you will take on. Saying “No” to a Person – The Same measurement tool for assessing your ability to be involved in a project can be used to assess your ability to help an individual. If the answer must be “no”, you have good reasons for having to say “thank you for asking. I would love to be involved. I assessed my availability of time and resources, and simply cannot fit this into my schedule at this time. I’m sorry, I have to say “no”. I wish you all the best, though”. Eventually, you will be able to say “no” without even having to give a reason. “CERTAIN THINGS CATCH YOUR EYE, BUT PURSUE ONLY THOSE THAT CAPTURE THE HEART” - Ancient Indian Proverb “YOUR TIME IS LIMITED, SO DON’T WASTE IT LIVING SOMEONE ELSE’S LIFE” - Steve Jobs



WORK ON CREATING THE “JUST SAY “NO” SYSTEM THAT WILL WORK BEST FOR YOU – Ask someone you trust to be your accountability partner. That means they will not let you “wiggle out” of your intentions/goals/action steps, and will “hold your feet to the fire” to ensure that you will follow through, and do what you said you would do. You will: - tell that person your intention (goal and action step), - set a deadline by which you intend to complete the action; - tell your accountability partner how and when you will report back once the action has been completed.


1. How do you think you can use the assessment tool and the benchmark questions in the Examples?

What changes, if any, would you make to it, to make it your own measurement tool for taking on additional work/projects?



2. How difficult will it be for you to start assessing requests for help and saying “no”, if necessary? What will have to change for you to start?

3. What benefits do you see coming up for you once you begin assessing requests and saying “no” if necessary?



4. Write out the script you would say to someone who asks you to be involved in something with them, and you have to say “no”.



STRATEGY # 2 FACE YOUR FEARS -

Perfectionists are always afraid – of making mistakes, of failing, of what others are going to think about them, of whether they are doing the right thing, even of being successful! The list goes on and on. When we expect perfection, we set ourselves up for failure, because perfection simply does not exist. It’s impossible to achieve. and yet, we continue to want to be and do things perfectly. Usually, it’s the fear that holds us up from even starting. Our minds want to protect us and keep us safe from harm. When something challenging comes along, we begin the process of forecasting the list of things that could go wrong (or right), and fear takes over. When we want to try something new, our brains want to protect us from fearful events, and they tell us to not even try – to stay in our comfort zones. We don’t know how to get around the fear, and so we procrastinate and do something else – maybe something comforting. The fear is there to help us make careful, positive, safe decisions, rather than hasty, knee-jerk reactions. Through self-awareness, we can assess the degree of risk, and the validity of the fear, and then make the choice to either go ahead and do it anyway, or forget it. Example: Coaches need to have consultations / exploration sessions (including sample laser coaching sessions) with strangers who are prospective clients. What fears come up? “That we’ll make fools of ourselves by not saying the right thing? That we won’t give a good coaching session? That we won’t make “the sale”? That they’ll think we’re too expensive? That they won’t like us?” Those outcomes are not within our comfort zones, and yet, we’re expected to step outside of our comfort zones and ignore the fears. I don’t actually believe in stepping outside of comfort zones. Stepping outside the comfort zone feels very scary to me – it implies being entirely alone, and taking a leap of faith into the dark unknown. When I’m considering doing something new, and fears come up, I explore the fear – is it a rational fear, and is it there to help me assess the risk? Or is it an irrational fear, there to take me out of the game before I



even start? Once I assess that the risk is challenging, not dangerous, I like to wrap myself in all of my positive life experiences, my knowledge and insight, my resources and support systems, and together, we push through one small step, the first step forward, toward whatever it is I’m afraid of. Once I have taken that first step, it’s no longer new and unknown. I don’t have to fear it, because I have absorbed that knowledge, and have therefore, expanded my comfort zone. I now look forward to change, as opportunities for me to expand my comfort zone again and again. We’ll never know what we can do, unless and until we do it. After we do it for the first time, we can see where we might want to it differently and hopefully, better, the next time. Or, we might decide it’s excellent as it is, and leave it alone. I have stopped striving for perfection. I strive for excellence, and I accept that there are times when I am less than excellent, depending on how I feel physically, mentally and emotionally. No matter what happens, good or bad, I can take some learning and grow from it. I can feel good about myself because at least I tried. So what can you learn from this?

1. Accept that since perfection is not attainable, always do the very best that you can do, in every given situation, and let that always be good enough.

2. Give yourself permission to make mistakes, and to accept that as long as you are always doing your best, you are always enough, and you have nothing to apologize for. No one can do better than their best. 3. Treat mistakes and less than perfect outcomes as opportunities –

opportunities for personal growth, and for learning. Wherever you are, that is exactly where you are supposed to be – your fear leads you to opportunities.



“ANYTHING YOU’VE EVER WANTED IS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF FEAR” - George Adair “TOO MANY OF US ARE NOT LIVING OUR DREAMS BECAUSE WE ARE LIVING OUR FEARS” - Les Brown “IN THE MIDDLE OF EVERY DIFFICULTY LIES OPPORTUNITY - Albert Einstein WORK ON CREATING THE SMALL STEPS SYSTEM THAT WILL WORK BEST FOR YOU – Ask someone you trust to be your accountability partner. That means they will not let you “wiggle out” of your intentions/goals/action steps, and will “hold your feet to the fire” to ensure that you will follow through, and do what you said you would do. You will: - tell that person your intention (goal and action step), - set a deadline by which you intend to complete the action; - tell your accountability partner how and when you will report




1. In the past, what fears have stopped you from doing things you have wanted to do? 2. Think about something that you want to do or accomplish now. What fears are coming up for you now?

Are your fears rational or are they unreasonable?



3. What is the worst that can happen if your fears come true?

What if your fears are wrong?

4. How will you feel if you let your fears win, and you stay where you are? 5. What actions will you take to control your fears and not let them stop you from

moving forward with your plans for change?



6. How will you celebrate overcoming your fears and moving forward?

7. How will you feel after you have achieved your dream/goals?



STRATEGY # 1 STOP TRYING TO BE PERFECT! - Perfectionism is like a disease. It has the power to control and limit the things we do, how we think, and how we feel, both physically and emotionally. It’s like an addiction. AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) calls the addiction to alcohol a disease similar to Diabetes. It took me a long time to “get” that. I used to think “people can’t just stop having Diabetes whenever they want to, but alcoholics can stop drinking if they want to, so how is alcoholism like Diabetes?” I came to understand it. While people with Diabetes cannot control having the Disease, they CAN control how much the disease will control their lives. They can choose to eat nutritionally, exercise daily, check their insulin level regularly, and follow their doctors’ orders – or not! Similarly, Alcoholics can control how much drinking alcohol will control their lives, and choose to stop drinking – or not. And, Perfectionists can choose to avoid all of the symptoms and consequences of perfectionism – or not. Procrastination is one of the biggest consequences of perfectionism. Not all Perfectionists procrastinate, but most procrastinators are Perfectionists. Unless we can figure out how to do something perfectly, we can’t figure out how to start. So we avoid doing the hard stuff, even it’s something we really, really want to do – like get a website up and running, do a teleclass or teleseries, speak in front of our target market, attend networking events, talk to people about our businesses, write a book, set and charge coaching fees for coaching sessions – the list goes on and on. So, we fill our time doing other “stuff” – small “stuff” – not the tasks we need to do to build and grow our businesses and our incomes. It doesn’t matter whether perfectionism is externally driven (we enjoy attention and recognition from others, and the better we are, the more others expect of us. We receive pressure from people who are important to us, to be perfect for them). Or, it can be internally driven (we are our own harshest critic, harder on ourselves than anyone else would be.) When perfection controls our lives, we must learn to take control of it and not let it ruin our lives. Easier said than done, right?



Perfectionists are attached to outcomes. They have a very particular idea of how a particular project should turn out. Nothing short of that vision will be acceptable. It will not be perfect, and will therefore, be a failure. To those people, the destination is the desired outcome, and the journey togetting there is irrelevant. To those of us who are open to outcome, the journey itself is the destination.

Again, remember that perfectionism and procrastination are habits. Habits that are imprinted on our brains. Our brains are lazy. They don’t want to work too hard unless they have to. Habitual behaviors keep our minds at rest. We do a lot of things thoughtlessly, by rote – how we put our pants on the same way every time, how we eat our meals, how we answer our phones – even how we drive our cars. How many of you have ever pulled up into your driveways and realized you have no recollection of the drive home? We often do things on “autopilot”, without paying any attention whatsoever to what we’re doing or how we’re doing it. When it comes time to change a habit, your brain rebels! Don’t try anything new, we’re fine the way we are! We can keep trying to be perfect, we don’t need to change that! Creating change means creating new pathways in our brains, and imprinting them – training our brains to go a new way, to do something different. It means our brains have to work, hard! So, at the first opportunity, our brains try to slip us back into old habits – even if those old habits hurt us or could cause us harm in the long run! So, the good news is that change is doable. New habits are achievable. It all begins with self-awareness, and the commitment to change old habits and imprint new, healthier habits. Are you ready to stop trying to be perfect and start initiating change?

4 Steps to Avoiding Perfection and Procrastination - 1. The First Step in avoiding perfectionism is to change your mindset and

eliminate limiting beliefs. Let go of attachment to outcome and open up to possibilities. Being open to outcome take loads of pressure off your shoulders and eliminates the constant worry and anxiety.



2. Step 1 is to believe in yourself. Believe that you are always exactly where you are supposed to be. Don’t be afraid of mistakes.

Don’t let mistakes stop you from trying again and again. Each new try is a practice step toward positive, permanent change.

3. The third Step is to remind yourself to just start the journey, and be

open to taking time to explore whatever resources and opportunities present themselves.

4. Step 4 is to explore your fears for rationality. Give yourself permission to take risks - calculated risks have excellent chances for success.

“CHANGEYOURTHOUGHTSANDYOUCHANGEYOURWORLD”

-Norman VincentPeale “DON’TWAITTOBEGINUNTILTHECONDITIONSAREPERFECT - BEGINNINGMAKESCONDITIONSPERFECT“-AlanCohen



WORK ON CREATING THE SMALL STEPS SYSTEM THAT WILL WORK BEST FOR YOU – Ask someone you trust to be your accountability partner. That means they will not let you “wiggle out” of your intentions/goals/action steps, and will “hold your feet to the fire” to ensure that you will follow through, and do what you said you would do. You will: - tell that person your intention (goal and action step), - set a deadline by which you intend to complete the action; - tell your accountability partner how and when you will report


1. What are some of your limiting beliefs about perfectionism?



2. What are some examples of you being attached to outcome?

3. What will being “open to outcome” look like for you ?

In your personal life? – In your business life?



4. How will it feel for you to go through life being open to outcome?

5. Write at least one personal affirmation that will help you to open up your thoughts about attachment to outcome.

6. What have you put off doing that you will now be ready to start?



7. What new project will you start now, with your new mindset?

REMEMBER – A GOAL WITHOUT A PLAN IS JUST A WISH - Unknown

7. What is your next immediate step to beginning your first project as a

recovered perfectionist and procrastinator?



IN SUMMARY – It was while I was taking the coach certification course that I learned many of the following life-changing concepts, beliefs and philosophies by which I live my life today as a Recovered Perfectionist and Procrastinator - #1 BE OPEN to outcome, not attached to it. Stay open to possibilities and the resources that life offers. #2 HAVE COURAGE - take calculated risks, and expand your comfort zone when ever possible. #3 CHANGE is exciting and challenging, offering new opportunities for a better life. Fear of change need not be paralyzing – learn to let go of limiting fears. #4 SERVE and support others, and never want more or less for others than they want for themselves. Serve their agenda, not your own #5 STRIVE for excellence rather than perfection. As long as you always strive to do the best that you can, in any given circumstance, you are always enough. You can never do better than your best – Imperfect Action is better than Perfect Inaction. #6 EMBRACE MISTAKES. They provide opportunities for new learning, and growth. Don’t let mistakes stop you from trying. Mistakes are rehearsals for success. #7 LIVE an intentional life, based on a personal values and ethics system and the Law of Attraction. The Universe is abundant – there is enough for everyone.



#8 ALWAYS HAVE written goals. Without them, you have no idea in which

direction to turn, or where to go. Be proactive and create the life you want to live. #9 EXPRESS gratitude for all that you are, do, and have. If you cannot appreciate what already exists for you, don’t ask for more. #10 MAINTAIN a life balance that provides for work that is satisfying and profitable and a lifestyle that is healthy, stimulating, and fulfilling. And don’t forget about the FUN!

I wish you all a long life,

Filled with love, health, wealth and happiness

in great abundance

Love, Nan



ABOUT THE AUTHOR - I hope you have enjoyed the book. Since I found coaching, I can honestly say I am living a balanced, fun-filled, rewarding and fulfilling life. I am blessed to be able to do all of the things I love to do – training, coaching, and writing, and spending time with family and friends and having fun! They say when you love what you do, you never work a day in your life. That’s how I feel – thanks to coaching. Paul and I will be happily married for 46 years in June, 2016. We live very close to our daughter, son-in-law and 2 grandsons, Nash & Dane, and get to see the boys most days. Our son and daughter-in-law live about an hour away and we don’t see them and our 2 granddaughters, Violet and Charlotte quite as often. However, being involved grandparents is an absolute joy for us. And, we have our 14-month old Old English Sheepdog, Sammy, to keep us busy and entertained. We live in Canada – in Ontario, in Milton, just west of Toronto. We have an RV and love to travel , visiting friends and meeting new ones along the way. Paul and I have been actively involved in the design and implementation of regional auto racing in Ontario for the past 10 years or so. We are also both Pit Officials at the Toronto Indy, annually. In the winter, we each have race cars that we drive on a specially-made auto racing track on ice. Life is Great!! If you have gotten something of benefit from my book, I invite you to tell any friends, family and colleagues you think might enjoy it and/or benefit from the lessons I have learned through my life experiences to date. If you have any comments or questions or would like to connect with me, please do, via any of the links below:



Wishing You Sunshine Always -

Nan Nan Einarson, CTACC, Business Transformation Coach Creator of “Next-Level Coaching Business” System - Recovered Perfectionist and Procrastinator - http://www.icoachthecoaches.com [email protected] 289-878-5765 www.linkedin.com/in/naneinarson CTA Trainer/Mentor Coach http://www.coachtrainingalliance.com [email protected]

I motivate Type-A coaches to overcome perfection and/or procrastination, achieve or exceed their next-level business goals, and still have time for family, friends and fun!

If you want to take your coaching business to the next level, my “Next-Level Coaching Business System” will help you to stay focused on the tasks necessary to get you what you want, in far less time that it would take you on your own. Don’t procrastinate. Go to my website – http://www.icoachthecoaches.com, read about my “Next-Level Coaching Business System” and schedule your free “Kick Your ASSets Into Action” Exploration phone session with me. You’ll be glad you did, and so will I!! I can’t wait to talk to you.



Do It Now!! Don’t Procrastinate!!!! Click Here - http://www.icoachthecoaches.com

Schedule a Free “Kick Your ASSets Into Action” Exploration Phone Session With Nan

written by: Nan Einarson, CTACC, - I Coach The Coaches · written by: Nan Einarson, CTACC, Business...

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Transcript of written by: Nan Einarson, CTACC, - I Coach The Coaches · written by: Nan Einarson, CTACC, Business...