Writing standards file for Daniel, a Year 1 high level 2...

1 of 26 The National Strategies Primary Primary Framework for literacy and mathematics, Daniel writing

QCA 00022-2009DWO-EN-01 © Crown copyright 2009

Daniel Year 1 High level 2

Writing standards file



Letter writing

This letter was written in response to one received from Bob the Builder, asking children to find out how many litres of water it would take to fill a duck pond. Daniel wrote this letter in the child-initiated writing area, completely unaided.



Bob the Builder © 2008/2009 HIT Entertainment Limited and Keith Chapman. All rights reserved. Used with kind

permission.

Assessment commentary Varied sentence openings, simple and complex sentences (‘…when...’, ‘…as well as…’).

Alternating statements and questions effective in context, with past and present tenses accurate (AF5 L3 b1 and b2).

Straightforward sentences accurately demarcated with capital letters, full stops and question marks, one example of ellipsis (AF6 L3 b1).



Simple letter layout, text is structured around series of questions. Appropriate beginning and end (AF3 L3 b1, b2 and b3).

Although Daniel is not using paragraphs, ideas are grouped by content, e.g. feelings on receiving the letter, filling the duck pond and finally moving on to the welfare of the ducks (AF4 L2 b1).

Ideas are relevant, some repetition (AF1 L2 b1). Brief comments and questions convey personal viewpoint, e.g. ‘I felt very very very excited’, ‘Don’t worry Bob we’ll try’ (AF1 L2 b3).

Although fairly brief, there is a clear purpose to the letter: to communicate with Bob about the duck pond. It includes some features of the form, e.g. opening greeting and sign-off, and Daniel writes in an appropriate conversational style, addressing Bob by name several times (AF2 L3 b1, b2 and b3).

Vocabulary is simple, but effective in context (AF7 L3 b1).

High-frequency grammatical function words, ‘when’, ‘that’, ‘how’, and some content words, ‘duck’, ‘jug’, are spelt correctly. Phonetic attempts to represent vowel digraphs (AF8 L2 b1 and b2).

Letters are correctly shaped and formed, but with some inconsistencies in size. Ascenders and descenders are distinguished (Handwriting L2 b1 and b2).



Recounting a football match

Daniel wrote this independently after watching a match at the weekend.



Assessment commentary There is variation in sentence openers, e.g. ‘One sunny afternoon ...’, ‘let me tell you how

the goal was made...’ (AF5 L2 b1). Many clauses are chained together using ‘and’, but complex as well as simple sentences (AF5 L2 b2; AF5 L3 b1). Past and present tenses are generally consistent, despite over-generalising of past-tense verb inflection, ‘waired’ for ‘wore’ (AF5 L2 b3).

Sentences are usually demarcated accurately with full stops and capital letters (AF6 L2 b2), although some sentences could be shortened. Clauses are grammatically correct (AF6 L2 b1).



There is an opening which sets the scene but no closing statement (AF3 L2 b2).

Ideas are simply grouped by content, beginning with what the teams and the spectators wore and then describing the two goals scored (AF4 L2 b1).

Despite some repetition, the material is relevant to a recount about a football match (AF1 L2 b1), and Daniel’s last sentence implies his viewpoint (AF1 L2 b3).

A purpose is established, e.g. ‘let me tell you...’ and there is an attempt to adopt the style of sporting commentary, writing GOAL in capital letters and using the surnames of players (AF2 L2 b1 and b3).

The vocabulary choices support the meanings being conveyed, e.g. colour adjectives to describe the kit (AF7 L2 b1).

High-frequency grammatical function words, e.g. ‘had’, ‘also’, ‘and’, ‘my’, ‘are’, ‘but’, ‘with’, are usually spelt correctly, as are common single morpheme words, e.g. ‘play’, ‘top’, ‘ball’ (AF8 L2 b1) and some vowel digraphs, e.g. ‘ay’, ‘ou’, ‘oa’ (AF8 L2 b2). Other spelling is phonetically plausible.

Letters are generally correctly shaped and clearly formed but there are some inconsistencies in size (Handwriting L2 b1 and b2).



Story writing: The Three Bears

After reading different versions of Goldilocks and the Three Bears, children were asked to write a story, keeping the three bears as main characters but introducing another fairy-tale character into the tale to cause a problem.



Transcript The three bear and the big bad wulth

By Daniel

Once upon a time there Lived three bears and they Lived in a cottage in the wood and there cottage was blue also red one sunny morning mummy bear cuct brefrt but baby bears breft to hot and mummy bears brecfust was to hot. Also bears brecfut was hot so they went for a walk in the park because baby bear wanted to play on the swing but before long when the three bears reely away from home a big bad wuth came and he went into the three bear house and he brock baby bear faivart… ball and it was a blue bowl and the wulth said “ups I will let the bear cleen that up” and then he went into the frunt room and there play stayshun was on and he had a go. Just because he cudnt get on levull to he put it on the floor and he stam on it and it broack it and he said “I don’t cair because the three bear can bie a nuva play staishn and then he went upstairs and then he lied on daddy bear bed but it was to hared so he went on mummy bear bed and it was to soft also he had a go on baby bears bed and it was riet and in one mintt the wulth was a sleep. then the three bears came back they went up sairs and daddy bears saw the wulth woakup and he ren out and he nether came back again.

Assessment commentary The variety of sentence openers helps the story to flow (AF5 L2 b1).

Some complex sentences work to articulate events, despite lack of punctuation (AF5 L3 b1) and frequent use of ‘and’ to connect ideas (AF5 L2 b2). Past and present tense is generally consistent (AF5 L2 b3).

Clause structure is mostly grammatically correct (AF6 L2 b1), but many sentences are over-extended and need to be punctuated with full stops (evidence of clause chaining, below AF5 L2). There is some speech punctuation but not used consistently (part evidence for AF6 L3 b2).



The story is appropriately presented as small book with cover illustration and title page, designed and made by Daniel. The text is sequenced using a number of time-related words, e.g. ‘before long’, ‘and then’, developing a sense of chronology. The text would benefit from section breaks. The opening and closing of the story is appropriate for a traditional tale (AF3 L3 b1, b2 and b3).

The action-driven story hangs together around characters’ names and the pronouns that refer to them (AF4 L2 b1).

Daniel includes content from the original story, with some repetition (AF1 L2 b1). His introduction of a wolf who behaves badly – with imaginatively characterised actions: ‘he stamped on it’, ‘in one minute the wolf was asleep’ – creates interest (AF1 L2 b2).

There is a beginning, middle and end which follow the pattern of a traditional story and the use of direct speech contributes to an engaging narrative style (just AF2 L3 b1, b2 and b3).

Vocabulary comprises fairly simple nouns, verbs and adjectives, e.g. ‘went for a walk in the park’, ‘their cottage was blue also red’ (A7 L2 b1).

There are a number of attempts at using two- and three-letter graphemes, e.g. ‘ee’, ‘oo’, ‘or’, ‘ar’, ‘ng’, ‘oa’, ‘ck’, ‘air’, from L and S Phase 3 and ‘ay’, ‘ue’, ‘ae’, from Letters and Sounds Phase 5 (AF8, L2 b2).

Letters are clearly formed and shaped. Several two-letter graphemes are joined, e.g. ‘ee’, ‘ar’, ‘er’ (L2 b1, b2).



Writing about an archaeological dig and devising a museum guide

These examples of Daniel’s writing come from a whole-class unit of work based on a series of archaeological digs set up in the outside area. The ‘dig’ was an extended cross-curricular unit of work that gave rise to reading and writing a range of information texts.

The video provides a glimpse of the children at work in the dig. Daniel finds a commemorative coin and with the help of his teacher, reads the inscription on it, before going on to write an archaeological report on his find. The class had previously examined different types of report formats and were encouraged to choose one that suited their purpose best. Daniel works confidently and independently to organise his ideas, having chosen to make use of a report form from a real-life excavation.

His two teachers talk about how Daniel set about the report writing and, later, about the decisions he took in devising a museum guide for the class exhibits.



Archaeological report



Assessment commentary

Daniel uses brief words and phrases suitable for the purpose of reporting a ‘find’, together with short simple sentences that make up a question and answer pattern, e.g. ‘guess why…because’. These provide evidence of effective sentence variation, and past and present tense are varied appropriately (AF5 L3 b3).

Clause structure is grammatically correct. The one very long sentence has only a final full stop and lacks a question mark (not quite AF6 L2 b2).

Daniel designed and structured his report to organise his ideas in a logical manner (AF3 L3 b1 and b3).

The report has a clear internal structure, moving from general classificatory information to some specific details about the object and the site (AF4 L3 b1).

As Daniel created his work, he edited it, making decisions about what information to select and how to write it down. He writes in role as a (child) archaeologist, conveying his interest in what he’s found out about the coin (AF1 L3 b1 and b3).

Daniel shows he can select and adapt the main features of a reporting format, e.g. he initially wrote ‘name’ and ‘recorder’, before realising that these were the same, and chose ‘recorder’. Similarly, he changed ‘any more information’ to ‘comments on finds’ as being more suitable to his purpose. Both choices suggest that he is seeking an appropriately formal style (AF2 L3 b1, b2 and b3).

Words chosen reflect the subject area of archaeology, e.g. ‘fragment’, ‘decorations’, ‘texture’, ‘rigid’ (AF7 L3 b2).

Simple high-frequency words correct, and phonetically plausible attempts at words with diagraphs and double letters, e.g. ‘found’, ‘badge’, ‘says’, ‘guess’, ‘Burke’s’ (AF8 L2 b1 and b2).

Letters are clearly formed and shaped, with some two-letter graphemes joined. However, some inconsistent use of capital letters and mixing of upper and lower case within words (Handwriting L2 b1).

Museum guide The writing followed a whole-class discussion of a range of leaflets promoting different attractions. Children could choose to adopt or adapt ideas from any of these, and Daniel had clear ideas about what would work best for him.

The video shows Daniel writing parts of his museum guide, interspersed with his teacher’s reflections on the activity.




Daniel’s choice of succinct phrases (‘open the door on archaeology’) and single words as captions is appropriate for the museum guide. Daniel’s generally accurate use of bullet points in lists indicates additional knowledge of punctuation (AF6 L2 b3).

The overall structure of the two-sided guide is coherent, with ideas grouped in sections, e.g. starting with general details about coins, then listing foreign and British coins. The use of headings, highlighted text boxes and a map helps to present material clearly (AF3 L3 b1 and AF4 L3 b1).

The guide is imaginatively composed, containing a range of the information relevant to visiting the museum, although the amount of detail is not balanced across sections (AF1 L3 b1).

The purpose is clear, drawing on the main features of several models that Daniel considered. The style is informative and persuasive, e.g. ‘use the ticket below to bring the family’ and ‘get in free’ indicate attention to reader (AF2 L3 b1, b2 and b3).

Word choices are simple but relevant, showing influences from the work on archaeology (AF7 L2 b1 and b2).



Daniel used different spelling strategies, consulting a reference text for a word he could not sound out: ‘archaeology’, and using phonic strategies to spell both common grammatical (‘below’) and content (‘use’, ‘foreign’, ‘keys’, ‘ticket’) words (AF8 L2 b1 and b2).

Letters are clearly formed and shaped, with some two-letter graphemes joined (Handwriting L2 b1 and b2).

Writing about a German coin Daniel wrote a contribution to the class museum display, describing a German coin he found. The writing was self-initiated.




Despite some variation in sentence openers, Daniel uses similarly structured clauses throughout this text, with ‘because’ and ‘but’ used to extend ideas (‘lots of silver because the colour…was silver’, ‘but my coin has some ladies on it’, ‘but it was not green’). These usages show that Daniel does not fully understand the difference between coordinating and subordinating clauses (AF5 L2 b1 and b2, rather than AF5 L3 b1 and b2). Some inconsistency on the use of tense (AF5 L3 b3).

Clause structure is grammatically correct, but some sentences are over-extended, lacking accurate use of full stops and capital letters (AF6 L2 b1, but not quite AF6 L2 b2).

The description is a loosely organised series of observations and comments on the coin, without a clear introduction or conclusion (AF3 L2 b1).

Within the description, connections between ideas are made through repeated nouns (‘coin’, ‘German’, ‘silver’) and pronouns (‘it’, ‘my’). Content is not obviously grouped (AF4 L2 b1).

Information about the coin is somewhat circular, and relies on the final assertion ‘it looks very very interesting’ to convey a viewpoint (AF1 L2 b1 and b3).



The basic descriptive purpose of the writing is not wholly clear. Some details are given about the origins, material and appearance of the coin, but these could be more explicitly signalled for the reader (AF2 L2 b1 and b2).

Vocabulary is mostly simple and often speech-like, e.g. ‘the lady was just standing there’; just enough to say what the coin is like (AF7 L2 b1).

Spelling is mostly correct with some phonetically plausible attempts at inflected endings, e.g. the plural form of ‘ladies’, and vowel digraphs ‘whole’, ‘writing’, ‘colour’ (AF8 L2 b1 and b2).

Letters are clearly formed and shaped, with some two-letter graphemes joined (Handwriting L2 b1).



Assessment summary

Daniel is taught in a mixed-ability Year 1 class, where the teaching follows the National Curriculum and uses units of work from the Primary Framework.

AF5

Daniel uses a range of sentence openers, usually selecting those which match the purpose of his writing. In the story about the three bears and the wolf, Daniel relies mainly on ‘and’ to combine clauses and sentences but at the same time there are other attempts at coordination and subordination. He uses both simple and complex sentences, sometimes over-extending them, particularly when using ‘because’ or ‘but’ to extend and develop ideas, not always successfully. Another aspect of Daniel’s knowledge of sentence variation is shown in his succinct abbreviations for headings and labels in his archaeological report and museum guide. When writing in the past or present tense, Daniel is consistent. Level 2 criteria for this assessment focus are securely met, with limited evidence for level 3.

AF6

Daniel’s sentence punctuation is not consistent. He can write sentences beginning with a capital letter and ending with a full stop, as well as confidently using question marks and some speech marks. However, in some pieces punctuation is missing and sentences run on for too long, losing impact and clarity. Level 2 is awarded for this assessment focus.

AF3

Daniel organises and presents some of his work with openings and/or closings, and his more recent work from the archaeological dig shows that he is starting to take his own decisions about aspects of text structure and presentation, making good use of section headings. There are some attempts to organise ideas with related points next to each other but in the extended writing tasks this is not always secure. Level 2 is awarded for this assessment focus, with some highlighting of level 3 criteria.

AF4

In continuous stretches of writing, Daniel’s ideas follow one from another, simply grouped by content or sequence of events. Topics are linked together by nouns and pronouns, as shown by the descriptive piece on the German coin or the recount of the football match. Level 2 is awarded for this assessment focus.

AF1

Daniel’s ability to write imaginative, interesting texts is evident. His football report includes his own viewpoint as he comments on his team’s goal. His story shows that he can make creative use of his knowledge of traditional tales. Particularly notable is the work arising from the dig, in which Daniel exercised considerable choice and independence in selecting and developing his own subject matter. Level 2 is awarded for this assessment focus, with some highlighting in level 3 criteria as well.

AF2



Daniel is able to establish a clear purpose for his writing. He clearly demonstrates the ability to write a letter, a match report, a story, an archaeological record and a guide. In each case, there is evidence that he can adapt the form for his own purpose, with a view to the reader’s interest. He adopts an appropriate style; for example, in the letter to Bob, Daniel asks questions which he expects to be answered, whereas the style of the archaeology report is precise and factual. Level 3 is awarded for this assessment focus.

AF7

On the whole, Daniel’s vocabulary is not wide-ranging, despite the effective use of some ‘subject-specific’ language, e.g. when writing about football or his finds in the dig. Such words alternate with simple speech-like vocabulary, e.g. ‘suddenly’, ‘oops’, ‘very very exciting’. Level 2 is awarded for this assessment.

AF8

Daniel, in all the pieces of writing, demonstrates Phase 5 spelling which matches his teacher assessment that he is working within this phase of Letters and Sounds. He consistently spells high-frequency grammatical function words and common single morpheme words correctly, and makes phonetic attempts at vowel digraphs. In several pieces of work, Daniel’s spelling errors show that he is applying phonetic knowledge to past-tense inflections (past/passed, headud/headed, brock/broke, etc.). Level 2 is awarded for this assessment focus.

Handwriting and presentation

Daniel’s writing shows evidence of joined handwriting, particularly with two-letter or three-letter phonemes. His letters are generally correctly shaped and orientated, although the size of letters is inconsistent. Level 2 is awarded for this assessment focus.



Writing assessment guidelines: levels 2 and 3

Pupil name Daniel Class/Group Year 1 Date Summer term

AF5 – vary sentences for clarity, purpose and effect

AF6 – write with technical accuracy of syntax and punctuation in phrases, clauses and sentences

AF3 – organise and present whole texts effectively, sequencing and structuring information, ideas and events

AF4 – construct paragraphs and use cohesion within and between paragraphs

AF1 – write imaginative, interesting and thoughtful texts

AF2 – produce texts which are appropriate to task, reader and purpose

AF7 – select appropriate and effective vocabulary

AF8 – use correct spelling

Handwriting and presentation

Level 3

In most writing

reliance mainly on simply- structured sentences, variation with support, e.g. some complex sentences

and, but, so are the most common connectives, subordination occasionally

some limited variation in use of tense and verb forms, not always secure

In most writing:

straightforward sentences usually demarcated accurately with full stops, capital letters, question and exclamation marks

some, limited, use of speech punctuation

comma splicing evident, particularly in narrative

In most writing:

some attempt to organise ideas with related points placed next to each other

openings and closings usually signalled

some attempt to sequence ideas or material logically

In most writing:

some internal structure within sections of text, e.g. one-sentence paragraphs or ideas loosely organised

within paragraphs/ sections, some links between sentences, e.g. use of pronouns or of adverbials

movement between paragraphs/ sections sometimes abrupt or disjointed

In most writing:

some appropriate ideas and content included

some attempt to elaborate on basic information or events, e.g. nouns expanded by simple adjectives

attempt to adopt viewpoint, though often not maintained or inconsistent, e.g. attitude expressed, but with little elaboration

In most writing:

purpose established at a general level

main features of selected form sometimes signalled to the reader

some attempts at appropriate style, with attention to reader

In most writing:

simple, generally appropriate vocabulary used, limited in range

some words selected for effect or occasion

In most writing:

correct spelling of: o some common

grammatical function words

o common content/lexical words with more than one morpheme, including compound words

likely errors: o some inflected

endings, e.g. past tense, comparatives, adverbs

o some phonetically plausible attempts at content/lexical words

In most writing

legible style, shows accurate and consistent letter formation, sometimes joined

Level 2

In some forms of writing:

some variation in sentence openings, e.g. not always starting with name or pronoun

mainly simple sentences with and used to connect clauses

past and present tense generally consistent


clause structure mostly grammatically correct

sentence demarcation with capital letters and full stops usually accurate

some accurate use of question and exclamation marks, and commas in lists


some basic sequencing of ideas or material, e.g. time-related words or phrases, line breaks, headings, numbers

openings and/or closings sometimes signalled


ideas in sections grouped by content, some linking by simple pronouns


mostly relevant ideas and content, sometimes repetitive or sparse

some apt word choices create interest

brief comments, questions about events or actions suggest viewpoint


some basic purpose established, e.g. main features of story, report

some appropriate features of the given form used

some attempts to adopt appropriate style


simple, often speech-like vocabulary conveys relevant meanings

some adventurous word choices, e.g. opportune use of new vocabulary


usually correct spelling of: o high-frequency

grammatical function words

o common single morpheme content/lexical words

likely errors: o inflected endings, e.g.

past tense, plurals, adverbs

o phonetic attempts at vowel digraphs


letters generally correctly shaped but inconsistencies in orientation, size and use of upper/lower case letters

clear letter formation, with ascenders and descenders distinguished, generally upper and lower case letters not mixed within words

BL

IE

Overall assessment (tick one box only) Low 2 Secure 2 High 2 Low 3 Secure 3 High 3



Making a level judgement

Daniel’s writing was assessed using the L2/L3 guidelines. At this borderline, judgements need to be considered in relation to ‘some forms of writing’ and to ‘most writing’. In some forms of writing, the evidence from Daniel’s work fulfils nearly all the level 2 criteria, and some of the criteria for level 3, notably for AF5, AF1 and AF2, but the level 3 criteria do not apply to most of what he writes.

Following the flow chart for making a level judgment in writing, it is clear that Daniel’s writing exceeds the minimum requirements for level 2, i.e. level 2 in three out of AF5, AF6, AF1 and AF2 and either AF7 or AF8. With highlighting above the level in some of these assessment focuses, and taking into account the range, independence and choice shown overall, a judgment of high level 2 was awarded.

Next steps

Daniel’s next teacher needs to develop his ability to shape coherent and cohesive texts through the use of different sentence types and paragraphing and focus on ensuring that sentence demarcation with capital letters and full stops is consistent throughout all writing. The Year 2 narrative unit on stories with familiar settings will provide opportunities for teaching Daniel about the use of subordination in relation to time and reason, and help to strengthen his understanding of the function of different connectives. The narrative unit on traditional stories should provide opportunities for Daniel to sustain form and establish purpose.

There is also scope to focus on the aspects of writing that Daniel has not yet achieved at level 2. For example, the Year 2 non-fiction units of work should provide opportunities to use commas to separate items in a list before working on demarcating clauses in longer sentences (Strand 11, Sentence structure and punctuation). Developing clear letter formation will also be a particular focus for Daniel, especially distinguishing ascenders and descenders in his writing.

Writing standards file for Daniel, a Year 1 high level 2...

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