Whatever You Do, Don't Commit These Post-Breakup Sins
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Harmful PostBreakup Behavior By Leslie Jo Saul February 25, 2014 Every aspect of a breakup is usually pretty awful. However, there are a few things you can do to make a breakup feel even worse. The real problem is a lot of us engage in these sorts of behaviors, sometimes in a masochistic sense that only seems to continue our own misery. It is important to have a clean break from your ex and to avoid the following behaviors. Do not jump into bed with someone else right after a breakup. It may feel empowering at first, but really you are just reminding yourself of what it was like with your ex. Sleeping with someone new is an important part of getting over your ex, but it shouldn’t happen until you have emotionally connected with someone else and feel that you are ready. It is also important to stop stalking your ex on social media. It will only bring pain to look through his/her photos and wonder what they are up to every moment of the day. If you feel like you can’t stop yourself from looking through their accounts, it may be wise to ‘unfriend’ and cut yourself off from them for a while. Do not revisit your old spots to try to run into them. This will be painful for you and very obvious if you do see them at that coffee place just around the corner from their apartment. Do not put yourself in that situation, find different places to make your own. Closure is not often possible, and not often necessary. Meeting up post breakup usually just results in someone wanting an apology. Even if ‘closure’ happens there is a reason you are not together anymore and a magical post breakup meeting is not going to change that. Do not constantly talk about your ex. Although it’s hard because you shared a lot together, try to keep yourself in check. Filter your stories so your friends don’t have to hear about him/her all the time. If you really need to have a conversation about your ex with your friends, frame it as such. Constantly dropping your ex into other conversations will get old very quickly.
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Transcript of Whatever You Do, Don't Commit These Post-Breakup Sins
Harmful Post-‐Breakup Behavior By Leslie Jo Saul February 25, 2014 Every aspect of a breakup is usually pretty awful. However, there are a few things you can do to make a breakup feel even worse. The real problem is a lot of us engage in these sorts of behaviors, sometimes in a masochistic sense that only seems to continue our own misery. It is important to have a clean break from your ex and to avoid the following behaviors.
Do not jump into bed with someone else right after a breakup. It may feel empowering at first, but really you are just reminding yourself of what it was like with your ex. Sleeping with someone new is an important part of getting over your ex, but it shouldn’t happen until you have emotionally connected with someone else and feel that you are ready.
It is also important to stop stalking your ex on social media. It will only
bring pain to look through his/her photos and wonder what they are up to every moment of the day. If you feel like you can’t stop yourself from looking through their accounts, it may be wise to ‘unfriend’ and cut yourself off from them for a while.
Do not revisit your old spots to try to run into them. This will be painful
for you and very obvious if you do see them at that coffee place just around the corner from their apartment. Do not put yourself in that situation, find different places to make your own.
Closure is not often possible, and not often necessary. Meeting up post
break-‐up usually just results in someone wanting an apology. Even if ‘closure’ happens there is a reason you are not together anymore and a magical post break-‐up meeting is not going to change that.
Do not constantly talk about your ex. Although it’s hard because you
shared a lot together, try to keep yourself in check. Filter your stories so your friends don’t have to hear about him/her all the time. If you really need to have a conversation about your ex with your friends, frame it as such. Constantly dropping your ex into other conversations will get old very quickly.
Do not lose it over your ex meeting someone else. It is not healthy. It is perfectly reasonable to be upset with the new boyfriend/girlfriend your ex has, but don’t broadcast it publicly. They have moved on and it’s time that you did so too.
Leslie Jo Saul is a Certified Master Neuro-‐Linguistic Life Coach (MNLP) and Clinical Hypnotherapist (C.ht). Leslie received her diploma in Healing and Success Arts and Sciences from Bennett Stellar University, an internationally recognized school of Life Coaching, with emphasis in relationships and certifications in the additional areas of DreamSculpting®, TimeLine Regression & Trauma Release, Hypnosis Mastery, and Communications and Life Mastery.
