What to do when your family thinks you are crazy for following your bliss
2
What to do when your family thinks you are crazy for following your bliss Students tell me all the time about family members getting upset or offering unsolicited advice because they don’t understand why they are doing what they are doing. These tips will hopefully help you through your own familial trials while on the path to bliss. 1. Stay calm at all times. Smiling is good, but laughing is probably not going to help your cause. Getting angry will probably make things worse, so.don’t.go.there. 2. Keep it simple. If you are inclined to explain what you are doing and why, have a simple and credible speech ready. Recite it exactly the same way to each family member (you know they will compare notes). Even if, on some level, you don’t really understand WHY you are drawn to a degree in Herbology or you are compelled to volunteer for a year in Swaziland. 3. Don’t apologize. Unless you are harming someone or abandoning someone for whom you are responsible, you do not need to apologize for causing angst. Yes, causing angst is not a good thing, but if your intentions are to follow your bliss and do no harm, then how others feel is not within your control. (That’s really about them, not about you.) 4. Assure them you love them. When people freak out because you are following your bliss, it’s likely a result of feeling scared—scared that you will change, that you won’t love them anymore, scared that you will forget them, scared that they can no longer relate to you…just scared. 5. Stay in touch. Give your family access to you, but not too much. Call,
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This short resource will help you manage stress when you announce to your family that you are doing something radically different than they expected.
Transcript of What to do when your family thinks you are crazy for following your bliss
What to do when your family thinks you are crazy for following your bliss
Students tell me all the time about family members getting upset or offering unsolicited advice because they don’t understand why they are doing what they are doing. These tips will hopefully help you through your own familial trials while on the path to bliss.
1. Stay calm at all times. Smiling is good, but laughing is probably not going to help your cause. Getting
angry will probably make things worse, so.don’t.go.there.
2. Keep it simple. If you are inclined to explain what you are doing and why, have a simple and credible
speech ready. Recite it exactly the same way to each family member (you know they will compare
notes). Even if, on some level, you don’t really understand WHY you are drawn to a degree in
Herbology or you are compelled to volunteer for a year in Swaziland.
3. Don’t apologize. Unless you are harming someone or abandoning someone for whom you are
responsible, you do not need to apologize for causing angst. Yes, causing angst is not a good thing,
but if your intentions are to follow your bliss and do no harm, then how others feel is not within your
control. (That’s really about them, not about you.)
4. Assure them you love them. When people freak out because you are following your bliss, it’s likely a
result of feeling scared—scared that you will change, that you won’t love them anymore, scared that
you will forget them, scared that they can no longer relate to you…just scared.
5. Stay in touch. Give your family access to you, but not too much. Call, Skype, and write letters
frequently. Maybe even start a blog. But be advised that if what you are doing is very different from
what your family is used to, they may become extremely concerned for you (and unduly so). While it
may seem dishonest to be selective in what you share, it is actually necessary to limit access to
information depending on your situation. Play it by ear, and remember to reinforce step 4, step 3, step
2, and step 1 often.
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