Want to Go Private by Sarah Littman Excerpt

7/27/2019 Want to Go Private by Sarah Littman Excerpt

1/30

S C H O L A S T I C I N C .

S A R A H d a r e r L I T T M A N


2/30

If you purchased this book without a cover, you should beaware that this book is stolen property. It was reported as

unsold and destroyed to the publisher, and neither theauthor nor the publisher has received any payment for thisstripped book.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in aretrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by anymeans, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, orotherwise, without written permission of the publisher. For

information regarding permission, write to Scholastic Inc.,Attention: Permissions Department, 557 Broadway, New

York, NY 10012.

This book was originally published in hardcover byScholastic Press in 2011.

ISBN 978-0-545-15147-4

Copyright 2011 by Sarah Darer Littman. All rightsreserved. Published by Scholastic Inc. SCHOLASTIC andassociated logos are trademarks and/or registered trade-marks of Scholastic Inc.

12 11 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 13 14 15 16 17 18/0

Printed in the U.S.A. 40First paperback printing, August 2013

The text type was set in Avenir Book.Book design by Phil Falco

T o t h e d e d i c a t e d m e n a n d

w o m e n o f t h e l a w e n f o r c e m e n t

c o m m u n i t y w h o f a c e u g l i n e s s

e v e r y d a y i n t h e e f f o r t t o

k e e p o u r k i d s s a f e


3/30

part i


4/30


5/30

3

C H A P T E R 1 A U G U S T 3 1

How can you not be excited?Faith, my best friend since second grade, is lying on the edge

of the swimming pool watching the ripples as she trails her slimfingers through the water. I mean, come on, Abby. Were start-

ing high school tomorrow. Itll be so much better than middleschool.And you know this how? I wonder aloud.Faith rolls her eyes.Well, for one thing, there are all the new kids from Eastern

coming in. It wont just be the same people weve been going to

school with, like, forever .Great. So there will be even more Clique Queens to makeour lives miserable.

Faith draws her palm through the water, fast, sending a showerof cold droplets over my head. She doesnt get the satisfaction ofhearing me shriek, because it actually feels pretty good after an

afternoon of baking in the last day of summer sun.Why do you have to be so negative?Im not being negative, I protest, wiping the water from my

face. Im just . . . ambivalent.


6/30

4

Liar, I think to myself. What you really are is scared.Ooh, ambivalent ! You practicing PSAT words already?

No. Its just that . . . I guess part of me is looking forward toit. But a bigger part of me is just . . . well, scared. About how bigRoosevelt is. About getting lost. About how every thing is goingto be different.

Different doesnt always mean bad, Abs. Different could alsobe new and exciting, right?

Thats Faith for you. Miss Always Looking on the Bright Sideof Life.I guess.Well, Im excited. I cant wait. Ive already picked out my

outfit Im going to wear my new denim skirt with that cuteGreen Girl T-shirt. How do you think I should wear my hair? Up

or down?Um . . . I dont know. Down, I guess.You could at least act as if you cared.I do care its just I havent even thought about what Im

going to wear tomorrow.Why not? Youre so much prettier than me and you dont do

anything about it. Watch, youll show up to school tomorrow in jeans and some random T-shirt thats too big for you, instead ofa cute outfit that shows off your curves. Faith sighs, lookingdown at her chest, which is on the small side. At least you have curves to show off.

Oh, stop, I tell her, feeling myself blush. Ive always con-

sidered my boobs more of a curse than a blessing. Yourestarting to sound like Mom and Lily. If I have to listen to onemore tag-team lecture from them about how all I need is a frick-ing makeover, I might just end up murdering someone.


7/30

5

Well, you cant murder me because Im your best friend andwithout me, who would you sit with at lunch? Faith jokes, wip-

ing her face with her wet hand to cool off. But seriously, Abby,for once, your mom and Lily are right. You could do with a prehigh school makeover. How about we go upstairs and I try somestuff with your hair?

How about we just chill in the basement and watch The Lordof the Rings again instead? I need an Aragorn fix.

Faith sighs.Cmon, Abby, please ! This is the first day of high school were talking about. We can watch Lord of the Rings any-time. Besides, Legolas is way cuter than Aragorn, and youknow it.

I dont see the point, but Faith is giving me a pleading puppy

dog look with her big, brown eyes and I always have a hard timesaying no when she does that.Okay. You win. But no putting tons of crap on my face. And

afterward I get to see Viggo Mortensen.Faith smiles, magnanimous in victory. Only a little crap. Just

enough crap to highlight your best features. And afterward Ill

definitely watch Orlando Bloom.After what feels like hours but I think is only forty-five minutes,Faith is working what must be the umpteenth hairstyle.

Come on, Faith. Im starting to get a head ache from all thehair pulling. Its one that only your moms homemade oatmealraisin cookies will cure.

Just a few more minutes, Faith says, twisting two pieces ofhair on either side of my head and then pinning them at the backwith a large wooden clip. This ones good. It gets the hair offyour face so people can actually see your eyes.


8/30

6

And thats a good thing? I like it when teachers cant tell ifIm awake or asleep in the morning.

Youre determined to be a pain about this, arent you? Faithsays. Her narrowed eyes glare at my reflection in the mirror.No. I just . . . dont see the point. Its not like its going to

make a difference.Just wait till Im finished, Faith argues. Now look up while I

put on this eyeliner.

I tilt my head back slightly and look up at the glow-in-the-darkstickers on the ceiling of Faiths room. They barely look like any-thing in the daylight, but I still remember the first time I had asleepover with Faith in second grade. Mrs. Wilson turned off thelights and closed the bedroom door and it was like this magicalconstellation appeared overhead.

Faiths mom is so cool and artsy; shes like the anti-Mom. Shewrites articles for craft magazines and is always trying to get usto help her try out new projects, and she never seems to mindthe mess we make while were doing them. I love the randomway she dresses, like she doesnt care what people think, andhow she just twists her long, dark hair in a bun and sticks a pen-

cil through it. I think I can count on my fingers and toes thenumber of times Ive seen her wearing makeup. Shes kind ofbemused by Faiths interest in all the girly stuff. My mom is reli-gious about getting her Mom do trimmed every six weeks andwouldnt be caught dead even coming down for breakfast onweekends without a little mascara and blush. When I came home

from that sleepover in second grade and asked if I could putstars on my bedroom ceiling, she told me they would ruin thepaint.

I feel Faiths breath on my face as she carefully draws the eye


9/30

7

pencil across my eyelid. I look down from the ceiling and Faithstongue is poking out of the corner of her mouth, like it always

does when shes concentrating hard. I feel this warm glow in myheart some things never change. Or do they? a nagging voicein my head warns. I wish that voice would shut up. Im ner vousenough already.

Ta da! Look, Faith says. And I dare you to tell me you dontlike what you see.

I stare at my reflection in Faiths mirror, which has pictures ofthe two of us stuck around the sides at haphazard angles alongwith ticket stubs from all the movies and concerts weve been totogether. I look different . The eyeliner makes my hazel eyesappear bigger and more dramatic, and Faiths put on a pale,almost colorless gloss to make my lips shine. I look older, more

like someone who belongs in high school. With my hair up likethis, theres nowhere to hide. I feel exposed and, I dont know,vulnerable.

Whats the verdict? Faith asks. I think you look reallypretty.

I . . . I just dont know if its me.

Of course its you, silly! Faith teases, smiling. Its just calledyou making an effort for a change.I turn to face Faith. Making an Effort Abby is giving me the

creeps.Why is everyone so concerned about making me into some-

thing else? Why cant you all just like me the way I am?

Faiths smile fades into a look of hurt confusion.I do like you the way you are, Abs. Im just doing thisbecause . . . you know, cause I care about you and I thought,well, youd want to put your best face forward on our first day of


10/30

8

high school. You know, the whole first-impressions-count thingand all that. Im sorry if you feel like Im trying to make you into

someone youre not.I feel a wave of guilt for making her feel bad. Faiths the bestof best friends, the kind you can count on no matter what. Noone understands me like Faith, none of my other friends, my par-ents, and definitely not my brat of a sister, Lily, who I cant evenbelieve shares the same DNA.

Im sorry, Faith. I guess Im just . . . you know . . .No, Abs, I dont know. Tell me.I take a deep breath and face Making an Effort Abby in the

mirror as I make my confession.Im scared.I turn to look at Faith. Im scared about starting high school.

Im scared that things are going to change but Im just as scaredthat theyre going to be the same. Im just one big lump of notbeing able to sleep at night, sick to my stomach, wish the sum-mer would last forever, scared.

Faiths brown eyes glisten, and she envelops me in a hug.Everyones scared of starting high school. If they tell you

theyre not, theyre just full of it. But we were scared of startingmiddle school and we survived that, didnt we?Yeah, barely. If you call being ragged on by the Clique

Queens every day surviving.Faith frowns.Okay, Ill admit, Amanda Armitage and the other Witches of

Western did put a kind of a damper on our middle school expe-rience. But it wasnt a complete suckfest we still managed tohave some fun.


11/30

9

Yeah, I guess.Trust me, Abby. High school will be better. Just wear some-

thing nice tomorrow, and do your hair and your eyes like this.Start with a good first impression. Promise?Faith holds up her pinkie like she has ever since we met in

second grade. I curl mine around hers and mutter, Pinkiepromise, even though Im pretty sure that it wont make anydifference, and I have no confidence that high school will be

better.

What happened to you? Lily says when I get in the car.What do you mean? I ask, reaching to undo Faiths hair

clip, so my hair will fall back into its customary place shielding

my face.Dont, darling, your hair looks very pretty up that way, Momsays, appraising me critically. Something else is different,too. . . . Wait, its eyeliner finally , you did something to empha-size your eyes like Ive been telling you. Will wonders nevercease?

I feel like an insect under a microscope. I want to wipeoff the makeup, mess up my hair, and go back to being my nor-mal self.

Its the wrong color, Lily says. Abby should have used goldor brown eyeliner with her eyes, not black. Black makes her looktoo emo.

Well, you can always lend her some, Lily.No way! Im not lending her my makeup. She doesnt knowhow to put it on right. Shell ruin it.


12/30

10

I dont even want to borrow your stupid makeup, okay? Faithwas just trying to get me to dress up for the first day of high

school.Faiths right, Abby, Mom says. You only get one opportu-nity to make a first impression.

Im going to punch the next person who says that to me.Ive already made an impression on most of the people

there. Its only the new kids from Eastern. And Ive met some

of them before at church.Well, Im going to lend you my makeup, Mom says in herand thats final voice. Because you look very nice, and its impor-tant to put your best foot forward on your first day of highschool.

What! Lily exclaims. You never let me touch your makeup!

And you have all the expensive stuff.That, young lady, is because you somehow finagle me intobuying you plenty of makeup of your own, which you just refusedto share with your sister.

Its still not fair.Lily sulks in the backseat the entire way home, which normally

I would have considered a blessing, except that it means I haveto be the one to talk to Mom, and all she wants to do is discussin detail what I plan to wear tomorrow, like I have the slightestidea or even care.

Mom and Lily decide to make dressing me a joint proj-ect, and they invade my room, rummaging through my closet

and drawers to pick out potential outfits. I get the impressionLilys purposely trying to make me look like a Seventeen maga-zine reject because shes putting together the most putrid


13/30

11

combinations of clothing Ive ever seen. My mother finallygives her the Lily Ann! treatment, and orders her to leave

the room.Moms trying to convince me to wear this totally preppy outfitthat I wouldnt be seen dead in.

You cant be serious, I tell her. Face it, Mom, Imnot you .

Shes starting to get pissed at me, I can tell. Lily would have

caved by now. Scratch that. Lily would have come up with somecute little outfit before Mom even walked in the room, instead ofbeing like some sad Bratz doll, who, even at age fourteen, stillneeds Mommy to dress her, like yours truly.

Well, I dont see you contributing much to this conversation,Abby, other than saying no to every thing. Why dont you pick

something out and let me say no for a change?Great. Way to put myself on the spot. I stare at the clothes onthe bed and the clothes in my closet, hoping for inspiration. All Iwant to do is grab a pair of cargo shorts and my Aragorn T-shirt,but I know that will send Mom into orbit. I will myself to be Makean Effort Abby, and take a denim skirt and a green spaghetti-

strap tank with a white cotton shirt and lay them on the bed.Even though I dont really like wearing skirts that much, I figureitll get Mom off my case and maybe tomorrow I can switch it forcargo shorts.

Mom smiles approvingly.Good. I can see youre starting to think about your

appearance.She goes over to my dresser, where my earrings are mixed ina box with my string bracelets, bangles, and necklaces.


14/30

12

Darling, I bought you this earring tree, Mom says, startingto hang earrings on the Lucite stand with rows of empty holes.

Why dont you use it? Then you can actually see what youvegot so you can accessorize properly.What Mom fails to understand is that accessorizing properly is

pretty low on my list of priorities.Its okay, Mom. Ill do that. Youve helped me enough for

one night.

Mom picks up a pair of pearl earrings that my grandmothergave me as a confirmation present. They practically scream GoodyTwo-shoes.

Why dont you wear these tomorrow, honey?Uh . . . maybe. Okay.At this point Id agree to wear a freaking nuns habit to get

Mom out of my room.Well, Ill go start dinner. Make sure youve got all your sup-plies packed.

Yeah. Will do.Im barely listening to her because Ive already opened my

laptop and started logging on to ChezTeen.com. Its this new

site thats kind of like Second Life but for teens. Faith and I havebeen on it for a few months now and I like it a lot better thanFacebook because you get to design your own avatar and youcan use a screen name instead of your real name. And its likeyour avatars are actually hanging out together in a real placeinstead of you just chatting. They even have real musicians

give concerts in the Hippodrome. Last month Faith and I sawthe American Idols tour or at least our avatars did. Plus, likeeveryone and their grandmother is on Facebook now. My mommade me friend her as a condition of getting an account. At


15/30

13

least on ChezTeen.com I have some space to breathe withoutparental supervision.

I log in and see that Faiths already there. Her screen name isFaithfull205. Im AbyAngel99.

Wazzup? I type.Did u choose an outfit?

I groan and my fingers hit the keyboard harder than usual.

Yes, MOM!!!!So, what u wearing?Jeans skirt, green tank, white shirt.Sounds ok.

Sounds hot!

What? Thats not Faith. Its this boy avatar with spiky hair andsunglasses called BlueSkyBoi.

AbyAngel99: Ha Ha

BlueSkyBoi: What about u?Faithfull205: Denim skirt & Green Girl T-shirt.BlueSkyBoi: Nice. U guys r like twins.AbyAngel99: Well, we R BFFs.BlueSkyBoi: What grade u 2 in?AbyAngel99: 9th. Starting HS tomorrow.

BlueSkyBoi: Excited?Faithfull205: Yes. E

AbyAngel99: Not so much.BlueSkyBoi: Why not?


16/30

14

AbyAngel99: IDK. Scared, I guess.BlueSkyBoi: I survived HS. U will too.

All of a sudden, an MSN chat window opens up. Its Faith.

Faithfull205: Hes OLD! R u sure we should talkto him? What if hes a perv?AbyAngel99: Not that old. Just out of HS & its

not like were telling him where we LIVE.Faithfull205: I guess.

We chat with BlueSkyBoi for a little longer. He asks us whatare the top ten songs on our iPods. I cant believe when his arealmost identical to mine.

AbyAngel99: OMG! Were music twins!BlueSkyBoi: Or soul mates. E

Mom calls me for dinner.

AbyAngel99: GTG.Faithfull205: See u tomorrow, Abs! xoxoBlueSkyBoi: Later, soulie E

No ones ever called me a soul mate before, and thethought of it being someone I dont even know, some avatar

with spiky hair and a leather jacket called BlueSkyBoi is just . . .well, funny.Im smiling as I head down to dinner.


17/30

15

C H A P T E R 2 S E P T E M B E R 1

My stomach is turning over as Faith and I walk up the steps toRoosevelt High. Everything seems so much bigger here than itdid at Western.

I hope we have the same lunch period, I tell Faith.

I know, she says, linking her arm through mine. Otherwise,how will we share cookies?I feel weird walking arm in arm, even though last year I wouldnt

have thought twice about it. Maybe its too middle school. We headto the gym, where were supposed to pick up our schedules, andI manage to extract my arm as we go through the doors. Whew!

I guess we have to go to separate lines, I say. Looks likeIm in H to P and youre in Q to Z. Does anyones last name actu-ally begin with Q?

Anna Quintana, Faith says.Okay, but what about Z?Uh . . . I know, Emilio Zapata!

Okay, know-it-all. Go stand in line, and Ill meet you after tocompare schedules. We better have classes together.Dont worry, Abs, we will, Faith says as she heads off to the

Q to Z line.


18/30

16

Its sweltering in the gym. I dont know why I let Faith talk meinto wearing this stupid hairstyle, with my hair half down my

back. I try holding it up in a ponytail to let my neck cool.It is so fricking hot in here!I turn and find myself looking up into a pair of bright blue

eyes, set in a deeply tanned face thats framed by close-cut, darkhair. I swallow, suddenly glad that I bothered to experiment withMoms extensive makeup selection this morning.

Uh . . . yeah. Youd think theyd turn up the A/C.You didnt go to Eastern, did you?No, Western.Thought I didnt recognize you. Im Nick. Nick Peters.Um. Hi. Im Abby. Abby Johnston.Yeah, well, figured it had to be something between H and

P, right? He smiles, and his teeth are blindingly white againsthis tan.Maybe Faiths right. Maybe high school wont be so bad

after all.Nick! Hey, Nicky!Amanda Armitage, queen of all Clique Queens and bane of

my middle school exis tence, is coming across the gym, smilingand waving, and Ill bet you my favorite Viggo Mortensen posterthat its not aimed at me. Sure enough, Nick raises an arm andwaves back.

You know Amanda? I ask him.Sure, Mandy and I go way back. Our parents belong to the

same country club. Shes great.I take it back. High school sucks. Big-time.I fake a smile and manage to lie, Yeah, great, between grit-

ted teeth.


19/30

17

Great at being a total beeyotch. Great at making other peoplefeel like crap.

Fortunately, Im up next to get my schedule, so Im saved fromany further discussion of the Evil Witchs greatness.See you around, I mutter to Nick as I slink away to find

Faith.Later! he says, but he barely looks at me. His eyes are on

Mandy .

Apparently, theres room for more suckage in my life.When Faith and I compare schedules, we find that were onlyin one class together, PE, and we dont have the same lunchperiod.

How could this happen? Faith says, sounding like shesabout to cry. Were always together. Were like peanut butter

and jelly. Ice cream and hot fudge sauce. Hot dogs andmustard Okay, okay, I get the picture.Faith gets all quiet like she does whenever I upset her.Sorry, Faith. I sigh. Im just really freaking out, okay?Me, too, Abs. But well meet at the end of the day and tell

each other every thing, okay? PP?Now that were in high school, we agreed not to pinkie prom-ise in public. But old habits die hard, so Faith said wed just sayPP instead.

Yeah. PP.And, Abs?

What?You look really pretty today.I smile, and even though Im worried about the PDA thing, I

cant help hugging her.


20/30

18

Well, you know, someone whose name begins with F gaveme all these lectures about first impressions counting.

Faith laughs and for the first time since second grade, wehead our separate ways.

I feel like the ball in an Extreme Pinball game as I try tomake my way from science class on one side of the building

to math class on the other in the three minutes allowedbetween classes. Whoever dreamed up these schedules obvi-ously never walked in the hallways when there were actuallypeople in them.

Im a little out of breath when I get to math, but my breathingquickens even more when I see that Nick Peters is sitting at a

desk near the back and there are two seats left, one next to himand one in front of him. Its my lucky day.He smiles at me as I put my books down on the one in front

of him. Im afraid if I sit next to him, Ill just gaze at him longinglyfor the entire class.

Hey . . . uh . . . Alison, right?

Um . . . close. Abby.Right, Abby. Hows it going so far?Okay. Its a little crazy finding my way around.Yeah, I know how that is. But well get it, for sure.I know. Im just going to have to improve my sprint times to

make it to class before the bell.

Nick laughs and once again, I feel like high school has poten-tial. Until I look up and see Amanda Armitage has just enteredthe room and is heading for the seat right next to Nick.

Hey, Nicky! Im sitting next to you so I can copy all your


21/30

19

answers, she says, tossing her blond hair over her shoulder asshe arranges her books on the desk.

Nick grins. Not so sure youd want to do that, Mandy. Mathisnt my best subject.Um . . . its one of mine, I say, You know . . . I mean . . . if

you ever need help with homework . . . or anything.Nick glances at me briefly. Thanks, Ally, he says. Ill remem-

ber that.

He turns back to Mandy.He could at least remember my freaking name.I feel like plankton. No, I feel lower than plankton, if there

is anything lower than plankton, which I cant remember becauseI feel so miserable. What was the point of putting on all thisfacecrap and messing with my hair? It hasnt made any differ-

ence. People like Amanda Armitage are still going to be ontop in high school, and people like me are doomed to a life aspond scum.

Faith and I sit together on the bus home. I just want to forget

about my day, but she wants to compare notes.Theres a really nice girl, Grace, in a few of my classes. I cantwait till you meet her I think you guys will get along. Howabout you? Did you meet anyone new?

I have a dull head ache, and I really dont want to relive my dayfrom hell, but theres no way Im going to get out of it.

Well, theres this really cute guy, Nick Peters, whos inmy math class, but unfortunately he only has eyes for Mandy Armitage. Apparently, shes an old family friend from the countryclub and he thinks shes great .


22/30

20

Faith rolls her eyes. Wow. He must be seriously gullible.And despite this whole making-an-effort thing, he couldnt

even remember my name for more than three minutes. He keptcalling me Alison.Faith manages to look sympathetic for all of three seconds

before she bursts out laughing.Im sorry, Alison, I mean Abs. That sucks. But he isnt the

only guy at school. This is just Day One. You shouldnt give up

on the hair and makeup thing because one idiot didnt remem-ber your name.I sigh and lean my aching head against the bus window.Maybe youre right. But it felt like middle school all over again.

Seriously, Faith, do you really think putting this stuff on my face anddoing my hair differently is going to turn me into someone new,

someone who people like Mandy wont look down on? Someonewhose name Nick might actually remember ?Faith takes my hand and squeezes it.I dont know for sure, but I mean, what the heck, it cant hurt,

can it?Im not so sure, I mutter.

Try not to let Amanda get you down, Abs. You know whatshes like. What shes always been like.Yeah. Whatever. Ill try.So promise youll wear makeup again tomorrow?Okay, okay, okay.

When I get home, I go straight up to my room, drop my back-pack on the floor, and throw myself on the bed. I watch theafternoon sunlight dapple patterns of stripes and leaves on


23/30

21

the ceiling, the dust motes swirling in random patterns that seemto mimic the confusing, uncomfortable feelings I have inside.

Theres no homework, so I grab my laptop and log on toChezTeen.com. Within minutes, Im surrounded by friends, eventhough Ive never met any of them. There, I can pretend that myfirst day of school was fantastic, because no one is going toknow anything different. I can be anyone I want to be when Imonline and I dont even have to wear makeup.

So, how was everyones first day at school? Mom asks whenwere all seated around the dinner table.

Great! Lily chirps. Seventh grade is awesome. I dont knowwhy Abby hated it so much.

My little sister issuch

a freak.Mom, Dad, now do you believe me that Lilys weird? No onenormal likes middle school.

Abby . . . Mom warns.I liked middle school, or ju nior high as it was known then,

Dad says.

Yeah, back when the dinosaurs roamed the earth, Lily says,rolling her eyes.Watch it, sprite, Dad tells her. This dinosaur is the one who

pays for your trips to the mall.The fact that Dad liked middle school just proves my theory.

Hes not exactly a poster child for Normal. Hes obsessed with

becoming a millionaire before hes fifty, and when we go onvacation he reads all these business strategy books for fun.On the beach. Its so embarrassing. And hes been a seriousworkaholic ever since he left Strickham and Young, the major


24/30

22

accounting firm where hed worked even before I was born, andstarted his own practice. A major league workaholic barely

ever home and always totally stressed out. I cant believe hesactually here for dinner tonight. Mom must have read him theriot act about it being the first day of school and ordered him tocome spend some face time with Lily and me.

What about you, Abby? Mom asks. How was yourfirst day?

For a minute, Im tempted to tell my parents the truth aboutmy first day, how it was basically the same crummy scene as mid-dle school in a bigger building. But I know that if I do, Mom willstart listing the thirty zillion ways I need to change in order to bea success, and Lily will join in and that will be the cherry toppingon my Cruddy Day Sundae.

So I lie.It was fine. Except it sucks because Faith and I arent in anyclasses together except gym.

Omigod! Lily shrieks, throwing up her arms in exagger-ated horror. How will you live?! You guys are joined at thefreaking hip!

Lily. Thats enough, Mom says, giving my sister a stern glance.Abby, I know thats tough for you, but maybe this is a good thing.Itll force you to branch out and make some new friends.

So now Moms not happy with my friends, as well as with me? What if Im happy with the friends Ive got?It never hurts to make new ones, Dad says. Who knows

where some of these kids might end up in the future? Oneof them could be the CEO of a Fortune 500 company for allyou know.


25/30

23

Trust Dad to bring every thing back to business.Not everyone has, like, one special friend since second

grade, Lily says. She does little air quotes when she says spe-cial , whatever thats supposed to mean. Some of us like to bepopular .

I can just imagine Lily and Amanda Armitage having lunchtogether in the cafeteria, plotting ways to make my life misera-ble. Not for the first time, I wonder how two people could be

raised by the same parents and one end up as a future CliqueQueen and the other . . . well, the other end up like me.Its not that I expect Abby to become wildly popular over-

night, Mom says.Yeah, as if! Lily snorts.Lily . . . Dad warns.

I just think that youve been such close friends with Faith forso long, it would be good for you to spread your wings a bitand meet some new people. Faiths a wonderful person, but itwouldnt hurt you to meet some . . . different . . . kinds of girls.

So, what, they want to try and turn me into Lily? They wantme to start hanging out with Amanda Armitage? Not. Going. To.

Happen.Okay, okay, Ive got the message. You want me to be differ-ent. Can we talk about something else?

Mom and Dad exchange glances.Its not that, Abby. Your father and I just want you to

expand your horizons. We dont want you to . . . limit yourself

unnecessarily.I stare at my plate, no longer hungry. Why cant my parents just love me the way I am?


26/30

24

Can I be excused?But youve hardly eaten anything! Mom says, all worried.

Im not that hungry, and Ive got some reading I want todo, I lie.Thats good, Dad says. Get your studies off on the right

foot. Grades really count now that youre in high school.Sometimes I think my parents majored in cluelessness.Mom, can I have some more steak if Abby isnt having any?

Lily asks.Sure, sweetie.I escape to my room and log on to ChezTeen.com. Almost

immediately, a chat screen pops up.

BlueSkyBoi: Hey, wut up, soulie?

Soulie? It takes a second or two, but then I realize its that guyFaith and I were chatting with last night, the one who was mymusical soul mate. I grin and type back:

AbyAngel99: Not much.

BlueSkyBoi: Howd the 1st day go?

I wonder if I should lie to him the same way Ive lied toeveryone else. But then I figure, What do I care? Its not like Imtrying to impress him. I dont even know this guy.

AbyAngel99: It kind of sucked.BlueSkyBoi: Yeah. HS blows. Did your friend likeit? Fairyfall or whatever. You always seem to beonline together.


27/30

25

It strikes me as kind of . . . I dont know . . . weird that hewould notice that, but only for a second. Its true, after all.

AbyAngel99: You mean Faith? I mean,Faithfull205. Shes my BFF.AbyAngel99: And SHE thinks its great. All thesenew people to meet and stuff.BlueSkyBoi: So what made your day such a

suckfest?AbyAngel99: Well, Faith & I arent in any classes2gether xcept 4 gym.AbyAngel99: Its like the 1st time ever since 2ndgrade!BlueSkyBoi: That does suck.

AbyAngel99: And there was this really cute guybut it turns out hes friends with this girlAbyAngel99: who is the biggest beeyotch EVERAbyAngel99: & theyre both in my math class andhe DOESNT EVEN REMEMBER MY NAME!BlueSkyBoi: G

BlueSkyBoi: I would never 4get ur name.BlueSkyBoi: If I knew it in the 1st place, that is ;-pAbyAngel99: LOL! Its Abby.BlueSkyBoi: Im Luke.AbyAngel99: Hi! E

BlueSkyBoi: Hi! E

BlueSkyBoi: So, this jerk, whats his name?AbyAngel99: Nick. Nick Peters.


28/30

26

BlueSkyBoi: Well, Nick the Prick is clearly toomuch of an idiot to know a good thing when he

sees it.

Nick the Prick makes me giggle. I know Lukes just flatteringme, because how would he know if Im a good thing or not?For all he knows, I could be hideously ugly with a really horriblepersonality. Or a guy even, like they always told us in the Internet

Safety lectures at school. I could be some forty-year-old pervertpretending to be a teenage girl.But even though I know its just a line, its still good to hear

after a day of feeling like plankton. Right now, Ill take my com-pliments where I can get them. Anything to feel like Im not thelowest link in the social food chain.

AbyAngel99: LOL!BlueSkyBoi: I mean it. If I were at ur school, Idremember every thing about u.BlueSkyBoi: Like, whats ur fave ice cream?AbyAngel99: Butter pecan.

BlueSkyBoi: ur kidding!AbyAngel99: no!BlueSkyBoi: Wow. We srsly *r* soul mates.Thats my fave flave 2!AbyAngel99: E

BlueSkyBoi: Whats ur fave color?

AbyAngel99: Purple.BlueSkyBoi: Mines blue.AbyAngel99: Duh! BLUEskyboi?BlueSkyBoi: Hahahaha!


29/30

27

BlueSkyBoi: Thats what I like about u. Ur quick. And funny.

Abby? My dad is standing in the doorway.

AbyAngel99: GTG P911!BlueSkyBoi: K

I close my laptop and spin my desk chair around.Yeah?Dad sits on the edge of my bed.So, have you thought about what extracurricular activities

youre going to do, honey? he says. Because now is wheneverything starts to count for college.

OMG! I havent even been in high school for twenty-fourhours and my dads ready to send me off to fricking college?!Um . . . Dad? Its my FIRST DAY. I havent thought about a

whole lot besides trying to find my locker and getting to all myclasses on time.

A normal dad might take this as a clue to back off, but no

one, least of all me, would ever accuse my dad of being normal.Still, angel, you need to start thinking about this stuff. Timeflies, and before you know it youll be filling out college applica-tions. You dont want to be someone who gets turned downeven though she has good grades because there are no extra-curricular activities on her transcript.

I wish, for once, my dad would care about my now instead ofmy future. Like, in my fantasy dad convo, Id be talking to himabout feeling like social plankton instead of my currently nonex-istent extracurricular activities.


30/30

Okay, okay . Ill think about it. But can I at least have like aday or two to get used to the place first?

Sure, honey. Just keep what I said in mind.Thats pretty much the end of our heart-to-heart. He saysgood night and kisses me on the top of the head. And Im leftsitting at my desk wanting . . . something, I dont know what.Something more .

Want to Go Private by Sarah Littman Excerpt

Documents

Transcript of Want to Go Private by Sarah Littman Excerpt