TX Citizen 6.27.13

VOLUME TWOI S S U E 2 60 6.2 7 .13

Darter Fish Denied Right to Walk on Dry Land by Local Water Park and 530 Million Years of Evolution

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FORE! Landa Park’s

Golf Course to Go

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2 AD SALES 830.483.9563

table of contents1st Word

Why didn’t the former City Manager mention that there were plans to put

an explosive liquid natural gas plant less than a mile and a half from NB

Middle School? Probably for the samereason that i t has a code-name.

#topsecret

3

The Beer HunterWhen Mitchell drinks,

we all learn something. 13

Last Word Colby on the inevitable . 15

12

Sound Out Of TownBecause Austin and San Antonio occasionally have live music too.

SpoilersWe see movies so you don’t have to.

The County ’sMost WantedLook, Mommy! Daddy’s in the paper!

Ask a MexicanGustavo of fends in two languages.

14 Help WantedGet a job.

8Citizen SoundcheckThe ONLY guide of i ts kind for

the NB/SM Metroplex!

5 LettersOn the eight-liner menace.

Advice from Uncle Esel

Got a problem? You will.

El PitmasterChef Ernest gets his mayo on.

DiversionsKaraoke, trivia, pool tourneys, and such.7

10

CalendarStuf f to do. Go do stuf f. 6

11

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PAUL J. SMITHAttorney at Law

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2 AD SALES 830.483.9563 TXCITIZEN.COM 3

SchlitterfishWell the big news this week is that Schlitterbahn is being called out by the usual gang of riverfront residents for making an erosion repair to its property on the Comal River near the San Antonio Street bridge. It seems someone objecting to the work made a complaint to US Fish and Wildlife, ostensibly because it affected our favorite endangered species, the Fountain Darter - but in reality, because it would generate crazy press about river problems in the middle of tourist season, and give Schlitterbahn owner Jeff Henry a major headache.

Here’s what Henry had to say to KENS5 on Monday:

“Our wall is not in the water and is not on public property. It’s on dry land on my property, private property. And all I needed to do for that was a city building permit which I got… I don’t think these practices would harm anything. We’re not on the water. Do fish swim out of the water and crawl up on ground? I don’t think we have any of those here yet.”

It should be noted as this plays out, that it was made very, very clear by former Watershed Manager Nathan Pence, in his multiple presentations to City Council on the topic, that the Darter’s “critical habitat” is in the headwaters of the Comal, and not anywhere near the downstream area that the repairs took place. But hey, adjusting the facts to harass the tourism business is par for the course in Texas’ Most Corrupt City™, so none of us should be surprised.

Cinderella StoryCity Council voted 6-1 to begin the bid

process for the $6.86 million Landa Park golf course and clubhouse renovations. Stephen Digges opposed the project - which will ultimately be paid for, not by tax dollars, but with earnings from greens fees and concession sales - on the basis that “We don’t need a country club here.” We tend to agree, but hey, it’s paying for itself, so whatever.

We do remain skeptical that the Parks Department will bring it in without a huge infusion of public money along the way, but we’ll give them a huge pat on the head if they do. Bonus points if they get a couple windmills and dragons out there too.

The Landa Park golf course is scheduled for closure from October 2013 to October 2014,

so local hacks can expect to hit the links sometime in spring of 2018.

Fun with 4-BRegular readers know that

4-B President Tim Zipp was an executive at The Scooter

Store at the same time he was running the City’s corporate welfare

program – a program that provided the Store with nearly $4 million in cash and prizes – and since that didn’t lead to his removal from said board, no one should be surprised that he continues as NB’s 4-B President now that’s he’s moved outside of the City’s limits.

Sure it’s legal, we just think it’s in poor taste.

OH THE HUMANITYIn case you haven’t heard yet, Linde

North America wants to build a big ol’ liquid natural gas plant out near Weil Road and FM 1044. In the wake of the April fertilizer plant explosion that put the state’s kolache supply in peril, (West, TX), locals are not keen on having an LNG plant 1.4 miles from New Braunfels Middle School - despite Linde’s assurance that should the facility explode, it will have a blast radius of only 1.0 miles.

It seems former City Manager Michael Morrison knew about this project 14 months ago, but never mentioned it to City Council, the public, or anyone else that might object to what is code-named “Project Bluebonnet” until it was too late. The fact that it has a code-name is reason enough to think NB might be getting thrown under the bus on this one.

As it stands now, Councilmembers Stephen Digges and Aja Edwards-Patino are leading a plan to annex the land, which currently sits outside of the City’s limits, and zone the plant out of the area should the current landowner sell to Linde (or anyone else).

If successful, Digges and Edwards-Patino will have cost the local economy 20 plant jobs as well as the opportunity to showcase our firefighter’s Haz-Mat expertise, maximize traffic in our emergency rooms, and rebuild everything in a 1.0 mile radius from the facility – possibly further, depending on wind speed and direction at the time of the explosion.

But I’m sure there’s nothing to be concerned about.

\m/

Mike ReynoldsPublisher/Editor-in-Chief

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My husband and I couldn’t help but laugh at the 1st Word article on the 8 liner gambling that was going on in New Braunfels. It reminded us of the scene in the movie Casablanca, where Captain Renault says “I’m shocked, shocked to find that gambling is going on here.”

The casino worker hands him a wad of money and says, “Your winnings sir.”

Renault tells him “Thank you very much.”

Tracy Rogers6th Social StudiesCanyon Middle School

ATTENTION: Mike Reynolds I enjoyed your article about the

gameroom shutdown.About 18 years ago, a friend of

mine owned a gameroom here in New Braunfels and the same scenario happened...they were allowed to be open about a year and then, BAM...shutdown. I question the out-of-the-sight of local law enforcement? Really? They were all out in plain sight like Seguin Street, in the strip center by the old Albertson’s, behind Bluebonnet in the old AT&T building, out on Hwy 46 across from Carlton’s?

Looks like to me they were in plain sight, with neon advertising on the buildings, with flashing OPEN signs in the windows, with fire department occupancy permits on the walls from the NB Fired Dept. Not so out of sight. (Editor’s Note: We were being facetious when we said the game rooms were clandestine. We accompanied that statement with a photograph of one room’s substantial signage.)

I know it is a fine line. I know that the couple of gamerooms I frequented in NB were following the “law” to the “T”...no alcohol, no minors, payout only proportionate to handcount, no cash ever, and they even ran off the kind of crowd that weren’t desirable.

A few of us ladies would get together on a Friday or Thursday evening for a couple of hours and spend way less than we would have if we were sitting at a bar buying drinks. No adverse effect driving home.

Sometimes, one or more of us would win big, even a small jackpot. Fun. Simple. Not dangerous--bringing money into the community instead of

watching the “gambling gamers” as I call them, now run to Seguin or San Antonio for the same entertainment.

I bet the local Wal-Mart is seeing a decrease in their bottom line with no more gift-card sales. Oh well...the law and all, you know? I used an HEB gift card the other day and the cashier asked if I was there when they were raided. Nope. I wasn’t. She also said she can’t believe she was seeing no gift cards coming through her line...in a week’s time, a noticeable difference.

The title of your article really described the people in the gamerooms--a lot of senior citizen snowbirds who come here from other states where real gambling is legal. The draw of the Wal-Mart cards, even if only used for discounting gasoline, is a great help to a budget for someone who has a little money to spend. Doubling a $20 bill to $40 isn’t uncommon, especially for those who are disciplined to take out their winnings...and most do, even if it is just a little bit. There really aren’t many “max bid” players or “high-rollers”.

And yes, of course, there are those who don’t know when to quit...but I saw very few of them. The workers are trained well. So...my question? Why do the other places in town that have had 8-liners for years, and I mean years, get to continue to keep their machines?

Fastway, Hoity-Toit, Landa Station, and others all have machines that pay Wal-Mart cards or tickets for merchandise within their establishment. They aren’t hiding. They have been frequented by law enforcement. The local Sheriff’s Office knows exactly where they all are.

Why aren’t these merchant owners raided, fined, and forced to rid their establishments of their machines? Are they special or privileged and own priority real estate space where gambling is legal? Alcohol is even served at most of these establishments and minors are in them as well because they are family eating places.

Just curious, donchaknow? Doesn’t seem equal. No gambling--it’s the law. Oh, but only for some.

This letter has been edited for space – Author’s name withheld upon request

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YOUR BUSINESSCall now. You can’t afford not to.logos • business cards • brochures • photo editing • web design • advertisements

CITIZEN

830.542.9134 [email protected]

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THURSDAY CONCERT IN THE PARKThis Week, June 27: Unit 57 hits the Landa Park Dance Slab at 7:30pm. Next

Week: Retro FX. Admission is FREE!

MISS TX CITIZEN – THIS FRIDAY NIGHT!LIVE competition at the Phoenix Saloon, Friday, June 28 at 8pm. One lucky

winner will take home the coveted TX Citizen tiara and sash, as well as a massive amount of prizes, at the First Annual Miss TX Citizen Contest, sponsored by The Phoenix Saloon, Budweiser, The Landmark Salon and Spa, Terrific Massage and Spa, The Perky Peacock and Lisa on Location! Admission is FREE, with 100% of all funds donated at the event to benefit New Braunfels Puppy Playland!

MUDD VOLLEYBALLGot a team? Want to have fun in the sun? Rivercity Range is hosting a Mudd

Volleyball Tournament on June 29, 2013, at 9am. Call Rivercity Range for more info or to enter your team at 830-629-3500.

SUNDAY DANCEThe Countrymen will be performing all your old country dance favorites at

the Geronimo VFW, 6808 N Highway 123, Geronimo, on Sunday, June 30, from 3 to 6:30 pm. Open seating. $7 donation. Hall is smoke free and open to all. Info 830-303-9903.

FLOAT FOR A CAUSECome out and help support the fight against Blood and Childhood Cancers on

a Guadalupe River float benefiting The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. The trip starts Saturday, July 13, at 11AM, at Roy’s Rentals and Campgrounds at 6530 River Road. Cost is $20 per person, and personal tubes will not be permitted on the trip. Can’t participate?? You can still donate! For more information, contact: Matt Brown (903) 948-7014 [email protected] or Desiree Sherrow (830) 609-7862 [email protected].

VOTE FOR PUPPY PLAYLAND!Through July 31: New Braunfels Puppy Playland (NBPP) is now a finalist in a

the “Bark for Your Park” contest sponsored by PetSafe, a pet-products firm! One lucky city will win the grand prize to spend on its dog park, and four other cities will receive $25,000. New Braunfels-area residents are asked to go online and bark (vote) for funding for their city’s dog park. To vote, visit www.petsafe.net. Each voter may cast TWO ballots daily, (once via Facebook and once through the PetSafe website), so bark early and bark often! For information on the future dog park in New Braunfels and on the “Bark for Your Park” contest, go to www.newbraunfelsdogpark.com.

ROCKIN’ AND ROLLIN’ BOWL-INAdvance registration is now underway for the Big Brothers/Big Sisters “Rockin

and Rollin Bowl-in” benefit at Fiesta Lanes to be held on Sunday July 28th at 1:00pm. Registration and more information is available online at bigmentor.org or by phone at 830-832-6806. Bring your family and friends, your best “Rockin’ and Rollin’ Bowl-in” costume attire, and celebrate summer New Braunfels style! The fun and friendly event is for everyone, from 5 to 85!

CALENDAR

GOT AN EVENT TO PROMOTE? We’ll get the word out for you!

Send the details to [email protected].


AROUND & ABOUTThe Foundry, a metal supergroup led by Black Symphony’s Rick Plester and featuring Blaze Bayley of Iron Maiden, James Kottack of Scorpions, and John Moyer of Disturbed, made a stop at the Happy Cow last Sunday after two incredibly loud shows in Capitol City. Female vocalist Shawn Austin, of Austin, made a guest appearance at the Cow, splitting vocals with Bayley.

TXCITIZEN.COM 7

Buffalo Wings & RingsKaraokeTuesday Nights, 7:30pm

TriviaThursday Night, 7:30pm

Dirty’s Bar & QKaraokeWednesday Nights, 8pmSaturday Nights, 9pm

Faust Brewing CompanyTriviaThursday Nights, 8pm

Freiheit Country StoreKaraokeFriday Nights, 8pm

TriviaSaturday Nights, 8pm

Happy CowKaraokeThursday Nights, 8pm

TriviaWednesday Nights, 8pm

Pool TournamentMonday Nights, 8pm

Old Ice HouseKaraokeThursdays, Sundays

DJWednesdays, Fridays, Saturdays

Phoenix SaloonKaraokeThursday Nights

Prickly Pear LoungeKaraokeThursdays, Saturdays

DJ KCFridays

The Watering Hole SaloonKaraokeThursdays

Country Dance LessonsFridays, 7:30pm - FREE

DJFridays, Saturdays

diversions

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Grilled Chicken Skewers with Sweet Home Alabama White BBQ Sauce

Every time I hear the group Alabama Shakes, I get to thinking of the time I had my socks blown off by eating some BBQ with a white BBQ sauce. Ohhhh Lawdy, I tell you what my children of the corn, if you ever have the opportunity to go Alabama and have their famous BBQ sauce do not, and I mean DO NOT, pass it up.

If the creator of this wonderful sauce is still alive I’m going to buy him a beer. I mean I was thinking this sauce had to be made by mistake – it’s basically a BBQ sauce but instead of ketchup you use mayonnaise. I know what your thinking (mayo?) but trust me, it’s good!!

Chicken Skewers• 4boneless,skinlessbreasthalvesorchickenthighs,cutintocubes• 4(or3)skewers(ifyouusewoodskewers,soakthemfirsttopreventburning)• salt/pepper,oliveoil• 12ozbottleofyourfavoriteItaliandressingPlace the cut chicken on the skewers, season with salt, pepper, and Italian dressing. (I

took some of the sauce and marinated the kebabs for a few hours, but you can start your grill immediately and baste them there.) Heat your grill to medium and oil the grates. Place the skewers on the grill and baste, turning, until the chicken is done.

Ingredients for White BBQ Sauce• Salttotaste• Freshlygroundblackpepper• 1cup(s)mayonnaise• 1/2cup(s)distilledwhitevinegar• 1/4cup(s)applejuice• 1teaspoon(s)preparedhorseradish• 1teaspoon(s)freshlemonjuice• 1/4teaspoon(s)cayennepepper

In a medium bowl, whisk the mayonnaise with the vinegar, apple juice, horseradish, lemon juice, and cayenne and season with 1 teaspoon of black pepper and 1/2 teaspoon of salt. Transfer the barbecue sauce to a pitcher and serve with the chicken.

Ernest Servantes is the celebrity chef behind The Burnt Bean Company, a competitive BBQ team based in New Braunfels. His fire-and-meat-based skill set earned him national recognition when he captured the 2012 Grill Masters Championship, and the accompanying $50,000 grand prize, on the Food Network’s “Chopped”.

Ernest Servantes lS

The TX Citizen recommends Duke’s Mayonnaise, because it has a cool label.

8 AD SALES 830.483.9563

Thu 6.27Black Whale Pub

TBA9pm

Dirty’s Bar & QSteven Roloff & Friends8pm

Freiheit Country StoreOpen Mic w/ Fallon Franklin6pm

Oma Gruene’s Secret GartenJam Night6pm

Phoenix SaloonMike Ethan Messick5pm

Riley’s TavernTiffany Alana Dodgen9pm

AJ’s Ale HouseRock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show9pm

Billy’s Ice HouseBand of Bandits8pm

Concerts in the ParkUnit 577:30pm

Gruene HallZane Williams7pm

The Pour HausBrent Woods7pm

River Road Ice HouseWhiskey Rodeo8pm

Tavern in the GrueneDry River Religion8pm

Triple CrownErickson6pmKinder, Lion & the Giraffe, Corduroi, Yo Yo Kokuri, Blue Kabuki9pm

Uptown Piano BarAshley Stone8pm

Vino en VerdeDavid Russell (The Vagabonds)7pm

Fri 6.28Dirty’s Bar & Q

Groovehounds8pm

The Happy CowJordan Minor8pm

Oma Gruene’s Secret GartenThe Texas Terraplanes6:30pm

Phoenix SaloonBroseph5pmMiss TX Citizen 20138pmLucas Taylor & Old Soul9pm

Riley’s TavernPeewee Moore9pm


Billy’s Ice HouseHogg Maulies8pm

Black & Tan PubRain of the Aftermath10pm

Bubba’s Big DeckKnucklehead6pm

Cheatham Street WarehouseBIGfest7pm

Gruene HallLeon Russellw/ Bonnie Bishop8pm, SOLD OUT

The Pour HausHillbilly Jug Band9pm

River Road Ice HouseBrandon Jenkinsw/ Ben Morris & the Great American Boxcar Chorus8pm

Tavern in the GrueneThe Blues Buzzards8pm

Triple CrownPepper’s Blues6pmHendrickz McLeod, Grace Park & the Deer, For Elise10pm

Uptown Piano BarBarry Adams8pm

Vineyard at GrueneEmpty Handed Vagabonds7pm

Vino en VerdeJackson Parten8pm

Sat 6.29Black Whale Pub

TBA9pm

The Happy CowAmanda Jo Cevallos9pm

Oma Gruene’s Secret GartenThe Vagabonds1pmMatt Begley & Bitter Whiskey7pm

Phoenix SaloonDry River Religionw/ Blue Water Highway Band9pm

Riley’s TavernLost John Casner9pm


Baja BBQ ShackDub Robinson8pm

Black & Tan PubEDM Show10pm

Bubba’s Big DeckJr Nash2pm

Cheatham Street WarehouseBIGfest11am

Gruene HallFlat Top Jones1pmTodd Rundgren9pm, $25

The Pour HausThe Red Dirt Ramblers9pm

Tavern in the GrueneAnson Carter9pm, $3

Triple CrownHOGNOSE, The Organics, Buzz n’ Bangs, Quiet Room9pm

Uptown Piano BarJohn Maclean8pm

Vineyard at GrueneAvalon7pm

Vino en VerdeAlli Mattice Band9pm

Sun 6.30Oma Gruene’s Secret Garten

Chris Ruest Band2pm

Phoenix SaloonAl Barlow2pmTBA7pm

Baja BBQ ShackMark Jungers7pm

Billy’s Ice HouseTanner Louis & the Aviators8pm

Bubba’s Big DeckHotrod Hillbillies3pm

Cheatham Street WarehouseBIGfest1pm

Geronimo VFW 8456Sunday DanceThe CountrymenFood @ 2, Music @ 3

Gruene HallSlim Bawb12:30pmGuy Forsyth5pm

Lone Star Float House & GrillThe John Evans Bandw/ Josh Owens7pm

The Pour HausLarry Martin Sweeney & Friendsw/ Jordan York6pm

CITIZEN SOUNDCHECK


CITIZEN SOUNDCHECKRiver Road Ice House

Tubing for Cancer!Red Dirt Ramblers, Heather Roberts Band, Mandi Powell, Phillip Griffin Band, Bryan Shane, The Six String Boys, Susan Hickman, Presley Lewis, Justin Fulcher Band, The Blooms, Trevor Cole Band, DunVille, Matt Hurst, Brant Croucher, Wes Nickson, Garret Adcock, Anson Carter, StoneFace Cowboys, Stormy Lee, James Pardo12pm

Vineyard at GrueneSarah Pierce4pm

Mon 7.1Riley’s Tavern

Songwriter Showcasew/ John Whipple

Billy’s Ice HouseWes Nickson9pm

Gruene HallSlim Bawb1pmKaren Abrahams7pm

The Pour HausPaul Rogers & Friends7pm

Tavern in the Gruene60 Cycle Hum8pm Triple CrownGerry’s Kids6pmChief & TheDoomsdayDevice, Awol One, Mine+US, Eraserfase, DJ Notion, Spewcataclism 9pm

Tues 7.2The Happy Cow

Open Jam w/ Uncle Daddy8pm

Riley’s TavernManzy Lowry9pm

Watering Hole SaloonKennCentric Power Trio8:30pm

Billy’s Ice HouseSteven Roloff, Kyle Reed8pm

Cheatham Street WarehouseWill Arrington Band, Red Dirt Rangers9pm

Gruene HallPake Rossi1pmTwo Tons Tuesday8:30pm, $5

The Pour HausOpen Mic w/ Jon Magill8pm

Tavern in the GrueneRoots & Branches of Americana7pmThe Blooms9:30pm

Triple CrownManzy Lowry Band6pm

Wed 7.3Buffalo Wings & Rings

Steven Roloff & Friends7:30pm

Phoenix SaloonAdam Johnson5pmChris King & the Liberators8pm

Riley’s TavernTyler Cannon9pm

Watering Hole SaloonKorey & Dana8:30pm

Baja BBQ ShackPicker’s Circle7pm

Cheatham Street WarehouseKent Finlay’s Songwriters Circle9pm

Gruene HallThe Gourdsw/ Poor J Brown8pm, $12

The Pour HausPaul Eldridge8pm

River Road Ice HouseKyle Reed Band8pm

Triple CrownIke Eichenberg6pm

Uptown Piano BarJohn Maclean8pm

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Fri 6.28Antone’s

The Scabs

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8pm, $18-$150

The Continental ClubClub Lineup:

The Blues Specialists, 6:30pm

Clyde & Clem’s Whiskey Business

w/ White Ghost Shivers,

The Biscuit Grabbers

9:30pm, $10

Gallery Lineup:

The Robert Kraft Trio, 8:30pm

The Mike Flanigin Trio, 10:30pm, $5

Floore’s Country StoreGranger Smith

w/ Green River Ordinance

8pm, $15

Hooligan’s Bar & GrillTwo Tons of Steel

8pm

Red Eyed FlyRice Moorehead & His Ladies

9pm, Inside

Hey Gurl

w/ Darkness:Ending, Light the Sun,

Nova, Marceline

8:30pm, Outside

Sam’s Burger JointNothing More

w/ Sounds Under Radio

8pm, $13-$35

Stetson BarMario Flores & Soda Creek Band

9:30pm

Stubb’s BBQThe Revivalists,

Sister Sparrow & the Dirty Birds

9pm, Inside, $13-$15

Thirsty Horse SaloonSmall Town Habit

8pm

Sat 6.29

Antone’sMicky & the Motorcars

w/ Shurman, Darren Hoff & the Hard Times

9pm, $12-$100

The Continental ClubClub Lineup:

Redd Volkaert, 3:30pm

Youngbloods Festival

7pm, $20

Gallery Lineup:

Scarlett Olson, 8:30pm

The Mike Flanigin Trio, 10:30, $5

Floore’s Country StoreCharlie Robison

w/ Buster Jiggs

8pm, $18

Red Eyed FlyScott H Biram

9pm, Outside

Sam’s Burger JointThe Revivalists

w/ The No Refund Band

8pm, $12-$45

Stetson BarNatalie Rose Band

9:30pm

Stubb’s BBQThree33

w/ Distant Lights,

Freebleeder & Dawn Over Zero

9pm, Inside, $10

Thirsty Horse SaloonShawn Allen

8pm

SOUND TOWNOUTOF

Big movies, ruined.

World War ZBrad Pitt discovers that zombies only

attack healthy humans. So he makes himself sick and saves his family. Then the Army makes itself sick and is able to go in and destroy zombies without being attacked. Brad Pitt is pretty smart.

Man of SteelSuperman finally tells his adoptive father

that he’s not his “real dad!” Also breaks General Zod’s neck.

This is the EndA whole bunch of actors play themselves

in this quality doomsday comedy. Michael Cera is a complete degenerate and dies early. Danny McBride shows up just when you think the core cast members are the only survivors. Jonah Hill gets possessed by the Devil, and McBride becomes a cannibal, while Craig Robinson, Seth Rogan, and Jay Baruchel all earn their way into Heaven. Christians will find the plot theologically flawed. Non-Christians won’t know the difference.

The InternshipOwen Wilson and that guy from

Swingers lose their jobs and become interns at Google. They help a bunch of techies “find themselves”, and in the end they all get jobs at Google. The eros-obsessed Indian chick is a virgin and the guy with the headphones turns out to be in charge of Google Search.

After EarthM. Night Shyamalan directed this

Fresh Prince vehicle, and like all M. Night Shyamalan films, it has a completely unpredictable, ultra-surprising twist ending. Which in this case is the fact that the Fresh Prince brought one of those monsters that killed his daughter to Earth with him on purpose as a training device for his son to learn to conquer fear – or die trying. D’oh! His son lives, by the way.

Start Trek: Into DarknessKhan gets thawed out by Starfleet.

Robocop turns out to be a super bad guy. Khan kills Kirk, instead of Spock, this time around. McCoy brings Kirk back to life with the aid of a Tribble. Robocop dies and Khan gets refrozen.

THIS WEEK IN

SPOILERS

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Biergarten Featuring Guadalupe Brewing Co. Beers

Special Events Monthly

Fresh Handmade Sandwiches and Salsa

Private Parties- Catering

Wedding Facilities AvailableLive Music Every Night

Never a CoverKid & Pet Friendly

1263 Gruene Road • 830.625.1045

Call for Hours!

omalovesyou.com

June 27@ 6 Jam Night

June 28@ 6:30 The Texas Terraplanes

June 29@ 1 The Vagabonds

@ 7 Matt Begley & Bitter Whiskey

June30@ 2 Chris Ruest Band

July 4 @ 6 Jam Night

Upcoming Shows:

See you there!

BEST OF THE

WURST 2013

Double Winner!Best Live Music Venue

& Best Biergarten

Uncle Esel,All sorts of hoopla around Paula

Deen. I keep hearing all sorts of things about her making racist remarks, but what exactly are the circumstances? Is someone blowing this up to be more than it really is?

Thanks,Nancy

Dearest Nancy,That Deen made offensive remarks and

jokes peppered with the “N” word is not in question as it came about during a legal proceeding called a deposition. This deposition was leaked to the media and has now resulted in Deen losing her show and her biggest endorser with others likely to follow. Much of her problem really stems from an idiot brother who was running a restaurant into the ground.

Deen sent over one of her key employees, who happens to be white, to help turn it around, but somewhere in there, something happened and that relationship went south. Deen’s key employee, Lisa Jackson, first demanded a payoff of $1.2 million before filing a suit (is that extortion?) alleging racist behavior and pornography left on computer screens.

Deen supporters have rallied to stand behind her, but some claim that in the South there is a special relationship that whites and blacks have, and that culturally, what occurred is not evidence of racism but something bred in to the culture of race relations in the South. Some even try to equate that Deen’s cooking style incorporates much that was developed by the black community, and is some sort of homage to that community. Well, this Esel isn’t buying such poppycock.

What Deen admitted in her deposition and what she and her family allow to happen in her business dealings shows that there is a separation between whites and blacks, even if she played it straight publicly - after all she never showed this behavior to her fans.

And haven’t we had our own share of Paula Deen’s around here, what with racist emails and pornography on computers from some of our, ahem, “well connected” friends?

Love, K

Dear Mr. Esel,Spurs lost, haha. I’m from here

but I was rooting against them, laaaalalalaaaalalaaaa. Suckers. Go Heat.

(unsigned)

Dear Anonymous Antagonist,It’s really just a game, so I will not react to

childish taunting. We did notice that you did not provide a name or return address. We’re such good sports that we actually want to

congratulate you on the victory of your team.We have assembled a swag bag with a

signed pair of LeBron Nike shoes, some jerseys and other spectacular gifts, and we just need your full name and address and a color photo of you. We would then like to present you with these gifts at a special ceremony atop the newly refurbished courthouse on the plaza. It’s so good to know we can get along with fans across the nation, isn’t it? We’ll be anxiously waiting. Bye for now and God bless.

Uh… Love, K

Uncle Esel,I’ve noticed the Comal River has not

been busy at all. After all the money the Chamber spent and commercials and energy spent, why are the people not coming back?

Thanks,Black Tube Guy

Dear Old School Tuber,For starters, let’s look at the idiots leading

city hall. When do you think is the best time to bring up a controversial subject that will impact a seasonal industry. Let’s see, how about... at the start of the season.

Our illustrious city, mayor and council begin talking about charging fees to get to a navigable Texas river that belongs to the people and it makes the media. Yes, that’s good for a fragile business. How about the city going after Schlitterbahn (using the feds by proxy) for a wall built to stop erosion. Media attention again, that’s perfect. Outfitters, hotels and the non-exclusive downtown eateries feel the effect all season long for another year.

Many of our leaders, with the help of a select few, have worked for decades to damage the very industry that served us for longer than that. Bear in mind that our city is not a democracy, but is instead a Plutocracy, ruled by the few and the privileged. The assault is for various reasons; for some it is rooted in racism, for others a desire to have an Island like Shangri-la and for others, it’s just the need to make sure they are popular with what they see as the in-crowd (that privileged group again).

Expect the assault to continue beyond this Mayor and any new City Manager - after all, Caesar had more than one tunic.

Love, K


Uncle K. Esel is a lifetime resident of our fair city, and is well known for his sage advice on a wide range of topics. If you find yourself perplexed with no one to turn to, send your question to Uncle Esel at: [email protected]. Be sure to write “Question for Uncle Esel” in the subject line of your email.

ADVICE FROM

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MOST WANTED

$200REWARD

COMAL COUNTY ’S

BRENDA,DANIELSFemale • 5’06” • 120 lbsDOB: 09/03/1963CHARGE: Motion to revoke probation for theft

FUENTES,RACHELFemale • 5’01” • 135 lbsDOB: 01/31/1974CHARGE: Motion to proceed with adjudication for theft with two or more convictions for the same offense

MATA,RODGER ALLENMale • 5’11” • 150 lbs

DOB: 01/21/1994CHARGE: Theft of firearm

GARRISON,DONALD WAYNEMale • 5’11” • 150 lbsDOB: 02/27/1949CHARGE: Driving while intoxicated 3rd or more

CALDERON,JOSEPH WILLIAMMale • 5’09” • 160 lbsDOB: 08/11/1993CHARGE: Possession of a controlled substance

PADON, SARAH CHRISTENE

Female • 5’07” • 145 lbsDOB: 03/29/1979

CHARGE: Intoxicated manslaughter with

vehicle and two charges of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon

PALMER,JEREMY TEAK

Male • 5’10” • 190 lbsDOB: 12/02/1976CHARGE: Driving

while intoxicated 3rd or more

STEVENSON,KORINNE

Female • 5’04” • 120 lbsDOB: 06/18/1990

CHARGE: Fraud use/ possession of identifying info

TORRES,CHRIS

Male • 5’06” • 165 lbsDOB: 06/18/1977

CHARGE: Possession of a controlled

substance in a drug free zone

SISCO, ROBERT DEWAYNE

Male • 6’00” • 160 lbsDOB: 11/06/1967

CHARGE: Possession of a controlled

substance

The names listed have been released in accordance with the Texas Public Information Act Code 552.001 st.seq.annotated Public Record and Information disclosure statues. This is a true and accurate account as of Monday June 24, 2013 at 10:00 am and may not be current by the time it is read. Do not try to apprehend anyone. For anonymous tips and rewards, please contact Crime Stoppers at: 24-Hour Phone number 830.620.3400; Mon-Fri 8am to 5pm 830.620.3411. These are listings of criminal warrants with the Sheriff’s Office and are not indicative of guilt or innocence. Officers are to verify the status of each warrant prior to making an arrest. Any person is innocent of wrongdoing unless proven guilty in a court of law.

FOR INFORMATION LEADING TO THE ARREST OF COMAL COUNTY’S MOST WANTED. Callers will remain anonymous. 830.620.3400 - 24-Hour830.620.3411 - Mon-Fri 8am to 5pm

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By Gustavo Arellano

Dear Mexican: I’m a U.S.-born Mexican that grew up part of my life in Tijuana. Why do Mexican-Americans from Santa Ana (hometown of TX Citizen publisher, Mike Reynolds) and South Gate always think they’re harder than the rest of us Mexicans, yet their neighborhoods are like a hundred times better than the colonia I grew up in? I mean, they have the Santa Ana Zoo and South Coast Plaza; we got Plaza del Rio, which is right next to a mainline sewer.

Please explain the misplaced pride these folks have in their hometowns. Like George Carlin said, “No one should be proud of where or how they were born,” or something like that.

Confused Border Brother

Dear Wab: Two things here. What George Carlin said was, “I could never understand ethnic or national pride. Because to me, pride should be reserved for something you achieve or attain on your own, not something that happens by accident of birth. Being Irish isn’t a skill, it’s a f##king genetic accident.” And while he’s technically correct, ethnic and regional pride is as old and enduring as the paintings at Lascaux—no use in arguing its rationality.

What IS funny, however, is your point about Mexicans who grew up in the United States saying they’ve had a tough life. Unless you’re three days removed from the border and working at one of those tomato-growing slave camps in Florida, you ain’t got it hard. Tough is, as you pointed out, growing up in a Mexican urban colonia ala Plaza del Rio in Tijuana, or Tepito in Mexico City. Tough is growing up like my parents in the ranchos of Zacatecas, picking through cow shit as kids to find corn kernels to cook for dinner.

Poverty does exist in the United States, but it pales to what others in other countries must endure—and it sure as hell doesn’t compare to the tenement slums of Hell’s Kitchen at the turn of the 20th century and before. Despite this nation’s current economic malaise, we live in the good times, so if you ever hear some Chicano yaktivist bitch about their rough-scrabble life in some American suburb, make sure to record it: that’s further proof that Mexicans assimilate, because they’ve turned into whiny, entitled gabachos.

Dear Mexican: After living in London for many years and marrying an inmigrante of South Asian Muslim origin, this midwestern gabacha involuntarily relocated to Southern Arizona recently with a mixta baby.

Despite a few instances of being swarmed by the Border Patrol while out on walks and detained at border checkpoints, my prieto husband has found America more welcoming than the Paki-bashing culture of his childhood in the UK. However, I think the dulce de leche-tinted baby is often being mistaken for Mexican here. People have tried to speak Spanish to her, but sólo habla Ingles, except for Google Translate.

How do we handle raising an ethnically ambiguous child in a Latino-heavy culture? I have been told that there is no foreign-language requirement in public schools here, and I don’t feel keeping the TV perpetually tuned to Telefutura is a good idea, but we are all strangers in this very strange land.

Tamarindo and Tortillas

Dear Gabacha: First off, for a Midwestern gabacha, you do VERY well with your español—good for you to go with the Reconquista flow! As for your child: if you’re going to continue to live among Mexicans, you’re going to have to accept that she’s going to turn part-Mexican.

Definitely teach her to be proud of her Paki side, and make sure to be a good school mom and teach all those Mexican kids about your daughter’s culture. But the preponderance of Mexis means your daughter will grow up immersed in the culture, learning the words and customs. And that will further confuse people, gabachos and wabs alike, as she gets older—you mean to tell me that someone who looks like a Mexi and talks like a Mexi isn’t one? And that’s a great thing—be proud of the fact your child is one glorious monkey wrench in the pendejada that is ethnic identity, an ossified relic as relevant to today as courting your bride by kidnapping her.

Ask the Mexican at [email protected], be his fan on Facebook, follow him on Twitter @gustavoarellano or ask him a video question at youtube.

com/askamexicano!

ASK A MEXICAN!

!

Local Brew: Guadalupe Brewing’s Americano Wheat

I’d like to talk a bit about something that’s a little sideways from what we think about beer - namely, beer aberrations. I don’t mean something that’s strayed from a style, but rather strayed from its application. Beer cocktails, beer sauces, beer foods… basically any use of beer that isn’t in a glass and into your mouth.

From improving a cruddy macro-brew with a hit of juice to make a shandy, to highlighting some of the unique flavors in a good craft beer with an herbal liqueur, beer cocktails are an area that has almost limitless depth. And while beer in food may not really be for everyone, let’s not forget the simple beer bratwurst. By the way, a good and hoppy ale added to the mix for Shepherd’s Pie is my secret ingredient and a surefire converter for beer-purists.

Why do I mention this? It came up when talking about the innate connection between beer and bread. Water, yeast, some kind of starch, and you’ve got one or the other. Some

beers may even be more closely related by using wheat as part of the starches. Wheat Beer: The missing link between bread and beer, sorta.

A little beer history for you all, before we delve in. I’m sure you’ve noticed a common prefix or suffix to many beers is the term “weiss”, “weizen” or “whit”, usually on a pale ale style. Well, linguistically it has a double meaning. Sometimes it refers to the color as a “white beer”, and other times it’s referring to a content of wheat in the brew.

The etymological roots of both are actually the same! Or rather, it’s likely that a long, long, LOOONG time ago, milled wheat was just kind of called “white stuff”. Makes sense enough. The only real difference is that the Belgian style brewed with citrus and coriander, sometimes called “weiss”, or “weizen”, but more often “witbier”, like Hoegaarden. Alternatively, it’s sometimes called “witbier” but more often called “weiss” or “weizen”, as there is a traditionally German style of using as much or more (usually malted) wheat.

The Americano Wheat beer from Guadalupe Brewing Co. is true to its name in that it is very “American”. Even right from the nose, you can expect some classically American hop-profiles. Citrus, a bit of resinous scent, and of course backed by the bready wheat. The first note you get in the taste is even more of that citrusy hop flavor, but much more complex. There’s a bit of a lemony tang, some oily orange, even a bit of grapefruit dry bitterness. A wonderful example of good ol’ American hops.

The resinous note from the nose isn’t so much gone as it is transformed into some of the earthier bitter citrus, which I’m pretty alright with. The wheat itself is there as much as wheat can be. It never really acts as a leader, more kind of subbing in or playing along with a subtle malt profile. The malt in this, by the way, does just that. Overall, Americano Wheat is a good example of an American wheat beer. It’s extremely refreshing and sessionable, perfect for an “everyday” kind of after-work brew.

TXCITIZEN.COM 13

THE

WITH MITCHELL WILBURN

Mitchell Wilburn is our resident bon vivant and arbiter of all things barley. Send your beer questions to him at [email protected].

14 TX CITIZEN 14 AD SALES 830.483.9563 TXCITIZEN.COM 15

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THURSDAY JUNE 27Steven Roloff & Friends 8pm

*RIB NIGHT!*

FRIDAY JUNE 28Groovehounds 8pm

SATURDAY JUNE 29GForce Karaoke 9pm

WEDNESDAY JULY 3GForce Karaoke 8pm

*STEAK NIGHT!*

The Tobacco Haus Cigar Lounge & Bar is currently taking applications for cocktail waitress. Advancement to bartender possible. Retail experience a plus, no wait or bar experience necessary. Must be available nights and weekends, availability during the day a plus. Apply in person at Tobacco Haus in the Marketplace Shopping Center.

The New Braunfels Auction Co.

& Gruene Flea Antique Mall

Seeking a variety of seasonal temp to hire part time and/or full time workers. Estate sale set up, sales operation, retail, furniture movers, etc. Great fun work environment, part time, flex and full time depending on ability, availability and experience. Great student and summer jobs! Apply in person at 311 FM306 Bldg.#2 New Braunfels TX 78130.

Millennium Medi-Spa

Large, busy spa is looking for a registered esthetician and a registered massage therapist for full or part-time employment. Must be dependable and energetic. Please call (830) 608-9989 for more information.

AAA Bail Bonds II

Seeking Office Staff/ On-Call Bond Agent.Please e-mail aaabailkeely@austin.

rr.com for more info. Mountain Breeze Campground

We are hiring office and bar staff starting now through the summer. Part-time and full-time positions. Must have a great attitude, because attitude is everything! Apply at Mountain Breeze Camp on River Rd or call 830 964 2484 ext 0.

OurBlok

Are you a connector? We are looking for two professional representatives to help in the area. Salary, commission and bonuses offered based on experience and performance. If you like people and have a service mentality you may be the perfect fit. Past sales experience helpful but not mandatory. Email your resume to [email protected] to discuss further.

Alpine Haus

We have one position for experienced waitstaff in our upscale restaurant. Knowledge of German language and culture a plus. We are also hiring kitchen prep and dishwasher. Must be reliable. Apply in person from 3 PM to 4:30 PM Thursday through Sunday at 251 S. Seguin Ave. New Braunfels.

Camp Huaco Springs

It’s that time of year again! We’re hiring for the reservation office at Camp Huaco Springs. Must work the 3 major holiday weekends and have excellent phone etiquette. We’re super flexible with hours - part time or full time, and we can schedule around your needs. Seasonal work only. Please stop by the RV Store on River Road to pick up an application. We would really like to hire some Scooter Store employees that have been laid off!

Mile High Yard Works is hiring full or part time workers for fun work outside! Kick the cubical! We are looking for Labor and a delivery driver. Contact Tommy at 830-626-3455.

Eclipse Window Tinting is now hiring. Contact Aaron at 830-237-2267.

M4 Cleaning Services is hiring 6 housekeepers for residential & commercial cleaning in New Braunfels. $9.00/hour. Call 210-386-6429

Elite Auto Sounds is hiring for the position of sign spinner. Seeking fresh faces and enthusiastic personalities. Hourly + bonuses. Apply in person @ Rueckle & 35.

Got a nice opening? We’ll help fill it, FREE! Send your job listings to [email protected]. Hire former Scooter Store employees, and we’ll pay you off with up to $1,500 in advertising credit!

HELP WANTED

HAPPY COWB A R & G R I L L

9103 FM 1102“San Braunfels” (Hunter, TX)

512.353.0030

Monday NightsPool Tournament 8pm

Tuesday NightsOpen Jam by Uncle Daddy 8pm

Thursday NightsCow E Oke 8pm

June 28 Jordan Minor

June 29 Amanda Jo Cevallos

Kitchen Hours:Tues-Fri

11:30am-10pmSat & Sun 2pm-10pm

The Udder Place in Hunter, TX

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Double Winner! 2013 TX Citizen Readers Poll!

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TXCITIZEN.COM 15

Last WordWith Kelly Colby

A North Country Yankee in Prince Solms’ Court:

Ch-ch-ch-ch changesMy last few columns have focused almost exclusively on my trip to New Braunfels, the fun I had and the places I went. I steered away from anything even remotely political; it was, after all, my vacation, though even on vacation I see thing through a political lens, and I thought this column might be a great place to discuss some of my observations.

For me, politics is a very general thing. I make statements about national issues and broad concepts. But, my time in New Braunfels gave me an opportunity to see more of the inner workings of the TX Citizen and meet and interact with the staff. For them, politics is very specific. They focus on local issues, so local politics is foremost in their minds.

Some of the fodder the local political news is traditional. Corruption and cronyism makes for good bylines, but those things are found everywhere. Much of the rest of what I see is more specific to New Braunfels. New Braunfels is a city that is currently experiencing “growing pains”.

I don’t live in a city, or even in a town. I live in a village. The population here is less than 1,500, and it’s been shrinking over the years. This is more common than you’d think. In business, many follow a philosophy of “grow or die.” I never subscribed to the idea, but it is certainly true of population centers. The process is often a slow one, but the truth is that if a town isn’t growing, expanding in population, improving its infrastructure, attracting new business, then it’s dying, and my little village is in the process of dying.

Not so for New Braunfels. New Braunfels is growing. And, at an astounding rate. In fact, the corridor between San Antonio and Austin along Interstate 35 had the highest population growth among all towns of at least 50,000 people. New Braunfels has increased in size by 58 percent since just the year 2000.

Growth this fast isn’t a bad thing; in many respects, it’s something to be envied, but it can be disturbing, and it can lead to problems of its own. Many people begin to resist the changes that they see. People who have lived in an area for a long time, perhaps for generations, don’t

necessarily see progress; they often see what they loved about the area being eroded away.

I remember feeling the same way about Orange County, California. I grew up there, and in the ‘70s, it looked much the way that New Braunfels and its surrounding areas do now. Several distinct cities were connected by open spaces or farmland. Over time the areas between and on the outskirts of these cities filled in. The individual cities lost their distinctiveness, and eventually the entire county was a unit with only signs to indicate where on city ended and the next begun.

As time went by, what was once a suburban dream began to be an urban nightmare. Traffic was horrendous. The development just couldn’t seem to keep up with it. Quiet neighborhoods became crowded. Apartment and condo complexes replaced many houses. The area’s ethnic makeup changed and broadened. Ultimately, I felt like a stranger in my own home town.

I could talk about the benefits about urbanization, and there are many of them, but instead let me point out something more disturbing, urbanization’s inevitability.

As areas grow in this way people are tempted to try to preserve what they remember. This is only natural. Often they feel that they can retard or at least legislatively direct and control their growth. Well intentioned or not, these efforts are mostly pointless.

The reasons areas grow are not tied to the people that live there and don’t respond to their wants and desires. Geographic and economic factors are almost always at the heart of these changes, and this is something that can’t really be controlled. Once urbanization sets in, it has its own inertia, and nothing short of economic collapse will stall it.

Ultimately, the market, and not politics, will determine the direction and extent of growth in New Braunfels and the surrounding areas. Efforts through legislation, to sidetrack or direct growth often do little but hurt the people and businesses that are already in the area - something New Braunfels has seen with the “Can Ban”.

As property becomes more desirable, prices will go up. People not initially tempted by lavish offers will ultimately face an increasing

property tax bill. As jobs are created, people will move in to fill those jobs. Those new people will bring new ideas and new priorities. Locals are rapidly displaced or overwhelmed by outsiders, and these outsiders will increasingly dictate development. Businesses they want will thrive. Their dollars will outweigh the influence of the once local populous.

New Braunfels is on the same trajectory I saw in Orange County as I grew up. In the end, I felt too out of place there, and I moved away. This will be the course for many New Braunfels residents as well. As things change, they will feel more and more strangers in their own town, and some will simply move on. A rural environment is very different from a suburban one, and a suburban one very different from an urban one. It may sadden people to leave an area they have always called home, but they will if it doesn’t have the qualities they want.

Others will learn to adapt. There is money to be made in growth, and savvy residents may find that growth is good for them. They will open new businesses, find better jobs, learn to rely on services they never dreamt of before. Younger people will hardly remember a time before these changes, and the next generation may have considerably more tolerance for change than the current one. New people will mean only new flavor - the culture in New Braunfels will be different, but in many respects it will be stronger.

Change is a constant in life. I am not the man I was 20 years ago (in some respects I am much more, unfortunately), and population centers have a life of their own. Like children, they grow up. We might have added something to their personality, but we don’t get to decide the course of their development completely. New Braunfels is in that process of growing up. It is often difficult to let go and allow things to take their natural course, but New Braunfels will be what it will be. Attempt to stall or micromanage that course are both folly and counterproductive.

You can read more from Kelly Colby at yourfirstshrug.blogspot.com.

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TX Citizen 6.27.13

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