Time Shift (Is a Terrible Name for a Band)

8/3/2019 Time Shift (Is a Terrible Name for a Band)

1/26

INT. CLUB - NIGHT

DAN DANIEL [25ish, medium length brown hair, medium height]and GREG GALE [Also 25ish, short black hair, also mediumheight] are on a stage playing a really good rock song. Nolyrics, just a hard riff (I hope Ive got the right

terminology there). Dan on guitar, Greg on bass.

The club is dark and gloomy, a few lights shine on the stage.Its so dark that you cant see the audience.

Credits play over the top of this.

The lights come on as the song comes to an end. We see theirare two members in the audience. They both dont look tooenthusiastic.

GREG

Thank you for coming everyone.

There is feedback from the microphone he talks into.

Dan is still holding the final note of the song. He does onefinal strum then smashes it on the ground like a classic rockstar.

DANYeah! We are Time Shift!

GREG(quickly)

Thats not actually our band name.

One of the audience members does a small clap.

DANYes it is! Woo!

Dan begins running around the stage trying to take his shirtoff.

GREGEnough Dan, we can get off stage

now.

DANBut how do we know if they want anencore or not?

GREGYouve just smashed your guitar topieces. You couldnt play anothersong even if you wanted to.

DANSo what do we do now then?


2/26

GREGSame thing we do every time we playa gig this bad.

DANGet wasted?

GREGYep.

Extreme close up of mugs filling up with beer. Being downed,and then refilled. This is done 4 times.

Greg and Dan sit at bar table with 4 empty beer mugs next tothem, and both hold one half full.

GREG (CONTD)Half one... Probably time to go

back home.

DANUrgh, really? Do we have to?

GREGWell I do. Ive got class tomorrow.Maybe if you hadnt droped out-

DANUrgh not this again-

Dan starts sculling his beer.

GREGIm just saying, if youd stuck atyour music degree maybe we could beplaying bigger and better venues!

DANBut dont you just ever feel likeyou were meant for somethingdifferent. Not just stuck in thesame old daily grind, like you weremeant to change the world?

Pause.

GREGThat was deep as shit.

DANI dont know Im drunk. But I justdidnt feel like staying at uni.

Greg finishes his beer.

GREGIm going home. You coming?

2.


3/26

DANNot yet. Ill be back shortly.

Greg leaves. Dan walks over to the bar counter.

At the bar counter next to Dan is JESUS [60, long white hair,

handle bar mustache]. He is very drunk.

JESUSI heard what you said aboutdestiny.

DANWhat?

Dan sounds slightly bewildered, and is defensive.

JESUS

That was some real nice talkin youdid there.

DANI suppose it was.

JESUSYou played some good music too.

DAN(responding better)

We did? Thank you!

JESUSI couldnt help but notice though,youre missing a guitar now though.

DANI did get a little carried away.

JESUSWell heres one on the house.

Jesus lifts a guitar out from under the bar table.

DANNah Jesus I couldnt take a guitarfrom you. (beat) And the fact thatI just called you Jesus, is why Ishould be going home.

JESUSWell if youre sure.

DANIm sure.

Dan gets up and starts to leave the bar.

3.


4/26

DAN (CONTD)Thanks for the offer Jesus!

JESUSBe seein you round Dan.

EXT. ROAD - NIGHT

Dan is walking down the middle of the road, not quite in astraight line because hes so drunk, and singing Sympathyfor the Devil to himself.

He stops when he notices the head of a guitar sticking out ofthe bushes. He walks over and inspects it, and we see thatits the same one that Jesus offered him earlier.

He looks at if for a second in wonder, lifts it up, then

smashes it on the ground.

He continues on walking and singing the song.

Camera pans up and we see a view of the stars

INT. GREGS ROOM - MORNING

Black screen. Over it we hear vomiting.

P.O.V from Dan waking up. Everything is out of focus atfirst, gradually everything becomes clearer, and we see we

are on the floor of Gregs room. Its very messy.

Dan sits up. And we hear the flush of a toilet. Greg exitshis bathroom.

DANNice morning vom?

GREGThere isnt a better way to startthe day. Hows your hangover?

DANI dont have one.

GREGYou smashed your only guitar at ashitty concert of three people, andthat was before we properly starteddrinking. Youve got to at leasthave a small hang over.

DANOk a small one.

4.


5/26

GREGIm off to class. What do you needto do today?

DANTake out the trash?

GREGOther than that?

DANWatch porn?

GREGBuy a new guitar. Weve got anothergig tonight.

DAN

Right. Trash. And guitar.

GREGIm off. Catch you on the flipside.

Quick cuts of Putting out trash and locking the house.

INT. OP-SHOP - DAY

The scene opens with a close up of the guitar Jesus tried togive Dan hanging on a wall, and it slowly zooms out.

A SHOP ASSISTANT it talking to Dan about it while we zoomback.

SHOP ASSISTANTWell you know, this guitar hasstrings. Which is a one up on allof the other guitars we have.

Dan stares at the guitar ignoring what the Assistant issaying.

DANDo you believe in destiny?

SHOP ASSISTANTDestiny?

DANLike fate and all that shit?

SHOP ASSISTANTUh yeah-

DANIll take the guitar.

5.


6/26

SHOP ASSISTANTReally?

DANYeah.

INT. CLUB - NIGHT

Dan and Greg are backstage of the club that where they playedbefore.

GREGYour guitar looks weird as shit.

DANI know! But I think its a goodweird, I havent even tuned it yet.

GREGAnd youre just going to play it asis, not going to tune it at all.

DANYeah! Ive got a good feeling aboutit.

GREGYou are the most-

ANNOUNCER interrupts Greg.

ANNOUNCERQuit arguing, youre on.

Greg and Dan walk onto the stage. There are a few more peoplein the crowd. Dan and Greg sit down on their stools. As theysit down Dan pulls out a cigarette and lights it up.

Greg begins to play a deep bass line. Dan scans the crowd andnotices Jesus down the back. Jesus lifts his beer as anacknowledgement.

Dan lifts his arm up and strums down on the guitar.

Time freezes, and sound waves come out of the guitar thebackground begins to swirl.

EXT. PRE-HISTORIC FORREST - DAY

Dan is standing in a Pre-historic forrest holding his guitarand looking confused.

DANWhat this shit!?

6.


7/26

Dan walks around bewildered, until he comes to a clearing.There he sees a giant T-Rex walking around a feild. His mouthopens in shock and his cig falls out.

DAN (CONTD)Holy Mother of Mick...

INT. CLUB - NIGHT

Greg is playing his bass looking at Dan, as in why the hellarent you playing yet?

Dan looks just as shocked as before, then he leans into themike.

DANWe are Time Shift! Thanks for

coming!

Dan grabs Greg and pulls him off stage. As Greg is beingpulled off he yells out

GREGThats not our actual name!

INT. GREEN ROOM - NIGHT

GREGWhat are you doing? We had just

started playing!

DANSomething strange just happened.

GREGYeah, you played one note then ranoff stage.

DANNo! Something really crazy! Istarted playing the song, and then

next thing I knew I was in aforrest and there were motherfucking dinosaurs everywhere!

GREGLike the Land Before Time?

DANExactly like the Land Before Time,with Little Foot and everything!

GREGHow much have you had to drink?

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8/26

DANNo seriously! Someone tried to giveme this guitar, then I saw it onthe road, then it was in an op-shop! And then it made me travelthrough time!

GREGWere you taking shots of Jageragain?

DANWe need to find the guy who triedto give me the guitar! He lookedlike Jesus, if he was born andraised in Texas.

GREG

So nothing at all like Jesus then.

Dan leaves the green room.

GREG (CONTD)Seriously...

INT. BAR - NIGHT

Greg is following Dan through the crowded bar.

GREG

Do you listen when you talk?

DANTheres time for listening later,we need to find Texan Jesus!

GREGYou have no clue how stupid yousound!

Dan approaches the bars counter. Behind serving drinks isBAR TENDER [20s, good looking girl, blonde]

DANHave you seen an old man, with longwhite hair, and a handle barmustache around?

BAR TENDERThe guy that looked like a TexanJesus?

DAN(to Greg)

See I told you it was a thing!

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9/26

BAR TENDERHe said someone would ask for them,and to give them this when he did.

Bar tender pulls out a note from underneath the bar and handsit to Dan.

Note reads: Enjoy the gift.

DANEnjoy the gift, enjoy the gift...What does it mean?

GREGNothing! It doesnt mean anything,because you didnt travel throughtime and meet little foot! Youvejust had too much to drink!

DANFine, if you dont believe me thenIll show you!

Dan grabs Gregs arm and strums on his guitar. We get a cooltraveling through time type of effect.


Dan and Greg stumble into the forrest. Gregs face drops.

DANTold you so!

GREGBut this isnt even possible! How?

DANWell my understanding of timetravel from TV shows is that timeis more of a big ball of wibblywobbly mess, and this guitar allowsto move through different points of

this jumbled mess.

GREGWait! We cant touch anything!

DANWhy not?

GREGThe Butterfly Effect!

DANSo Ashton Kutcher will get mad atus?

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10/26

GREGNo! The theory! A butterfly flapsits wings then something elsehappens!

DAN

So basically we can have no funwith time travel what so ever.

GREGWait! Ive got an idea! Take usback to my house!

Greg grabs onto Dan and he strums his guitar.

INT. GREGS ROOM - DAY

Gregs room is tidy compared to before.

Dan and Greg stumble in. Greg begins looking through his bookshelves.

DANWhoops, I might have gone a bitfurther than I needed to...

(inspecting the walls)Wow! REM get together for anotheralbum! Awesome! Oh and yougraduate.

GREGFound it!

DANHuh?

GREGIts a history book. Any changesthat we make in the past are goingto affect the future, so we justlook in the book and make sure wecorrect what went wrong, before we

leave that time zone!

DANI suppose that will work. But youare taking a lot of fun out of timetravel.

GREGWhen you time traveled the firsttime, you didnt leave anythingbehind did you?

10.


11/26

DANNot that I... can...

CUT TO:

EXT. PRE-HISTORIC FORREST - FLASH BACK

EXTREME CLOSE UP OF THE CIGARETTE FALLING OUT OF DANS MOUTH,AND HITTING THE GROUND.

CUT TO:

INT. GREGS ROOM - DAY

DAN

Shit.

GREGYou left something behind didntyou?

DANHow can you tell?

GREGA person with an eagle's head justwalked past my window.

DANSo what do we do?

GREGWe just go back to where you werethe first time and pick up yourcigarette. That should fix theeagle heads.

Greg grabs a hold of Dan, and Dan strums his guitar.

COOL TIME SFX:


Greg and Dan arrive behind some bushes. And stay there.

DANWhat are we doing?

GREGWaiting for your past self toarrive, drop the cigarette and thenwe swoop in and pick it up.

11.


12/26

DANAre we birds? Do you have to usewords like swoop? Maybe thats whywe turn into bird headed people,because you used verbs like swoopin a pre-historic forrest.

GREGJust shut up and wait!

Theres a long pause of them waiting.

GREG (CONTD)How accurate is your time travel?

Dan shrugs.

DAN

I dont know, Ive only done it 4times. You should just be impressedthat Ive managed to get us in theeras those times.

GREGSo we could be a thousand yearsbefore or after you arrive withyour cigarette?

DANHow am I supposed to know? Its notlike I have a time travel watch.

Though that would be a good thingto have...

Dan turns around and notices something, and gets quiteshocked.

DAN (CONTD)But I have a feeling that werehere afterI dropped thecigarette...

GREG

How come?

Dan turns Gregs head to look in the same direction.

We see a wide shot of an open plain, and loads of dinosaurs.All of them are smoking cigarettes.

GREG (CONTD)But how? How is that even possible?

DANWait! Ive got it! What if thatshow they become extinct?

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13/26

GREGWhat?

DANThe dinosaurs! They all get lungcancer and die! We havent changed

history at all! This is what wasmeant to happen!

GREGThen whats with the bird heads inthe future?

DANIve got it, its that tree there!

Dan points to a knocked over sapling, a few feet away fromwhere theyre standing.

DAN (CONTD)You knocked it over when you firstarrived. This is just like thatbutterfly shit, you knock over atree, people get bird heads.

Dan begins to fix the tree to make it stand upright.

GREGThat cant be right...

DAN

Done! Check your book now.

Greg pulls the history book out of his bag, and flicks to thechapter marked BIRD HEADS!, we see it dissolve into HUMANHEADS!

GREGOh my god. You fixed it.

DANTold you so.

GREGBut Little Foot... He cant be asmoker.

DANNope. Look at him, hes going crazyfor it.

LITTLE FOOT is smoking 3 cigarettes at the same time.

GREGLittle Foot...

Dan pulls out a cigarette from his pocket and inspects it.

13.


14/26

DANMaybe I should quit. I mean theydid kill all of the dinosaurs. Sowhere are we going to go now?

GREG

And we can go anywhere in time?

DANWell yeah, if I concentrate hard onwhere I want to go, we seem to endup there.

GREGSo you were thinking aboutdinosaurs right before we wereabout to play our gig?

DANIm always thinking aboutdinosaurs, theyre the most badasscreatures of all time! (beat) AndIve just killed all of them...

GREGWhat about medieval England?

DANWe could be knights!

GREG

And we can study the culturalhabits of the native people!

DANWe have ALL of time to explore, andsomehow you manage to make it soundboring, do you really like studythat much?

GREGDont you find the study of peopleto be-

DANWhat ever. Lets just go beknights, and slay some witches.

Greg grabs Dan, Dan strums. The cool time effect takes themout, but the camera stays in the prehistoric forrest for afew seconds.

CUT TO:

14.


15/26

INT. TIME AGENT BUILDING - DAY

A big flash office, with a few people in suits and sunglasses are looking busy. (It looks a lot like Men in Black)

AGENT COULSON [30s, short black hair, sharp suit] walks into

an office in the back, holding a piece of paper.

AGENT ALEX [40s, short black hair greying at the temples,sharp suit as well] sits in the back office, with a largedesk looking very empty.

Coulson hands Alex the piece of paper in his hand.

COULSONSir, weve just got a report of twohumans who changed historysomewhere around the pre-historic

age on earth.

Alex skims the report.

ALEXWhat happened?

COULSONIt was a class two human to birdhead change.

ALEXWhat do we need to fix?

COULSONThats the thing sir, we did afollow up report and they managedto fix it themselves.

ALEXThey fixed a class 2 time incident?

COULSONYes sir.

ALEXAre they still in the prehistoricera?

COULSONNo sir, our reports indicate thattheyre some where in MedievalEngland.

ALEXFixing the bird head must of been afluke, we need to neutralise theirtime shifting immediately. Assemblea small crew. Im going after thesedelenquints myself.

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16/26

COULSONBut sir, what about the level 5priority Time Pirates threateningto bomb Jupiter in 3017?

ALEX

They can wait. These guys soundmore dangerous.

CUT TO:

INT. MEDIEVAL BAR - EVENING

An old wooden medieval bar. A single bartender, and two otherpeople around tables in the bar.

Dan and Greg are at the bar, drinking, they are very drunk.

GREGNo, no! Youre better at playingmusic than me!

DANBut you do all the work in theband! All the organizing, and...organizing. (beat) and Bass! Youplay the bass!

GREGIsnt it a bit sad that, were in

medieval England, and were doingthe exact same thing that we woulddo at home on any night?

DANBut were doing it IN MEDIEVALENGLAND!

GREGBut we could be, like, finding acure for the cold in the future orsomething!

DANThere you go again! Being boring!We can time travel! Do anything!And youre worried about a cold?

Greg finishes his beer.

GREGI hate colds. Where should we gonext?

Dan finishes his beer.

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17/26

DANAre we going to leave already? Iwas hoping wed see some witchburnings or meet Arthur orsomething? Not just get drunk!

GREGBut getting drunk was part of theplan?

DANGetting drunk is always part of theplan!

GREGIve got it! We go to the futureand find a cure for a hangover!

DANThats the best idea youve everhad. Let me just get my guitar-

Agent Alex and Coulson open the old bars door. Behind themare Agents STEVEN [30s, suit, sunglasses] and BURT[30s, suit,sunglasses].

As they walk in, everyone turns and stares at them. Dan andGreg look very confused.

HANNAH SIMMS [20s, dirty blonde hair, dirty english clothes]in the corner of the bar tightens up.

COULSONAre-

Hannah stands up and points two guns at the Time Agent. TheAgents all draw their guns on Hannah. Greg and Dan look moreconfused.

Tension rises.

ALEXHannah Simms.

HANNAHAgent Alex. I see youve broughtyour best lap dog with you.

DAN(whispering)

What is going on?

GREG(whispering)

Did you put acid in my beer again?

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18/26

ALEXI should have known youd be incohoots with these criminals.

Alex nods towards Greg and Dan.

DANU-us?

HANNAHSo what if they are?

ALEXYou know what.

HANNAHYouve only brought four men withyou, remember what happened last

time?

ALEXThat wont happen again.

HANNAHAnd youre sure about that?

CUT TO:

EXT. MEDIEVAL BAR - NIGHT

We see the bar from the out side. We hear four shots.

CUT TO:

INT. MEDIEVAL BAR - NIGHT

Hannah is standing in the middle of the room with bodies ofthe four agents next to her.

DAN(freaking out)

WHAT THE HELL?

GREG(freaking out)

YOU JUST KILLED FOUR MEN!

Hannah starts checking their bodies.

HANNAHDont be ridiculous. I just woundedthem, killing them wouldnt be fun.

GREGFun? What the hell is your idea offun?

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19/26

DAN(to Greg)

Maybe were just super drunk, andnone of this is real.

GREG

Thats the only logical answer,time travel cant be real. Wereboth just super drunk at the Cook.

HANNAHYoure not super drunk. Youre notat the cook. And time travel isreal. Im a time pirate.

DANPirates! Thats where we should gonext! A pirate ship!

GREGNow isnt quite the time to bethinking about that, Dan. She has agun, pointed at us.

HANNAH(to Dan)

Hes right you know. Were leaving.

DANWe? Were leaving? Why us?

HANNAHBecause the time agents are afteryou now, and if you want to surviveyoure going have to follow me.

DANDont you think you should haveworded that differently?

HANNAHWhat?

DANNever mind.

GREGWhat if we dont go with you?

HANNAHYou dont have a choice.

She readies her gun. Dan reaches for the guitar.

HANNAH (CONTD)And dont even think about goingfor your guitar.

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(MORE)


20/26

I can tell its your time shiftdevice. So, are we going?

Greg and Dan sigh.

CUT TO:

EXT. MEDIEVAL COUNTRY SIDE - DAY

Hannah leads the two guys out of the bar. And they begin towalk along the medieval country side.

GREGWhere are we going?

HANNAHYoull see in a second.

DANWho were those guys in suits backthere?

HANNAHTheyre time agents.

GREGTime agents?

HANNAHThey protect significant events in

time for being altered by timetravelers. You guys must have donesomething to piss them off.

GREG AND DANThe eagle head!

HANNAHOh it was a classic eagle head, eh?Ive made my fair share of them.

DAN

I managed to fix it though.

HANNAHYou fixed an eagle head?

DANYeah, it was pretty easy.

GREGWhat about you though, he calledyou a time pirate, what the hell isthat?

20.

HANNAH (CONTD)


21/26

HANNAHWe do pretty much everything that anormal pirate does, plunder,pillage, kill, rape all that piratejazz.

Dan looks happy, Greg frightened.

HANNAH (CONTD)But the main thing we do is holdsignificant points in time hostage.

GREGWhat?

HANNAHYoull see in just a second.

They walk into a very dense area of trees. Hannah looksaround suspiciously before moving a set of shrubs to open upa clearing in the forrest.

EXT. CLEARING - DAY

In the middle of the clearing is a sword. In a stone.

Dan and Gregs mouths open in shock.

DANIs that?

GREGIt cant be real!

HANNAHYes, and it is.

DANSo this is what youre holdinghostage? The sword in the stone?

HANNAH

Yes. I had been searching for itfor 6 months, I finally find it,and then you guys show up and ruineverything.

GREG(defensive)

What did we do?!

HANNAHYou brought the time agents here, Ihavent had time to organise aproper hostage situation. The timeagents will be back here in notime.

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22/26

DANSo what do we do then?

HANNAHWere going to have to move thestone.

CUT TO:

Dan and Greg using all their effort to move the stone to noavail.

DANSo when you said, were going tomove the stone...

HANNAHI meant you. I have the gun after

all.

They give up pushing it.

GREGThis isnt going to work. Wellneed a miracle to move this stone.

ADULT ARTHUR [20s, brown hair, battle armor and sword(the onein the stone)] walks in to the clearing.

Everyone looks shocked.

DANArthur!

ARTHURDan, Greg (beat) Hannah.

DAN(to Greg)

He knows our name!(to Arthur)

You know our names!

HANNAHHes from the future.

GREGWhat?

ARTHURHannah is right. Im from thefuture.

DANIm too hungover for this shit...

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23/26

HANNAHIts the sword isnt it. Its atime shifting device.

Arthur smiles.

GREGSo why are you here?

ARTHURYou told me that I had to come backin time to this exact point, tohelp you out.

DANWe did?

ARTHUR

Yes. On the moon. In the future.

DAN(quietly)

Thats awesome...

ARTHURWe have to use my sword to shift mysword to a different location,where I can find it.

GREG(to Dan)

Is it me, or did that make nosense?

DAN(to Greg)

Time travel never makes sense. Andwho cares its mother fucking KingArthur! And were friends in thefuture! On the moon!

HANNAHThat makes sense, the time agents

will be here any second now. Areyou guys ready?

GREG AND DANYe-

Arthur strikes the stone with his sword.

COOL TIME SFX:

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EXT. MEDIEVAL COUNTRY SIDE - DAY

Hannah, Greg, Dan and Adult Aurthur (along with the sword inthe stone) have all been transported to an open plain in thecountry side.

GREGHow were you able to take all of uswith just one hit?

HANNAHYouve been trained well.

ARTHURI had a good teacher.

DAN(to Greg)

Hes talking about Merlin! Do youthink well get to see him?

Greg points to figures on a far away hill.

GREGIs that them there?

The figures get closer and closer, one MERLIN [old greyingman] and YOUNG ARTHUR [Similar to Adult Arthur. But a kid]approaches the gang on horses.

MERLIN

Lookth here Arthur! A sword thatlies in stone! This is doth what wehave been searching for. Pray, tellme guardians of the stone, may thisyoung man have his hand at drawingthe sword from the stone?

ARTHUR(to Young Arthur)

You may.

Young Arthur moves over to the stone, where he pulls it out

easily.

As he draws the sword, we do a cool time sfx thing, and havehim flash through points in history before arriving back towhere he previously was.

YOUNG!ARTHURWow.

HANNAH(to Adult Arthur)

He has incredible power.

ARTHURI know.

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25/26

MERLINOh! Praise the lord! England hasfound its rightful king to thethrone! We shall live in a time of-

Merlin clutches his chest and falls to the ground. Everyone

but Adult Arthur runs to him.

MERLIN (CONTD)Make sure... He becomes... King.

Hannah looks up from Merlins dead body to see Agent Alex andCoulson walking over the hill with their guns at the ready.

HANNAHAlex.

ALEX

Hannah. (Beat) I see you couldntstop this event from happening, youlose.

HANNAHWho was out cold last time we met?

ALEX(to Coulson)

Get shoot them!

Coulson and Alex begins to take fire on the gang. AdultArthur raises his sword and digs it into the ground. The

bullets dissappear as they approach the sword.

HANNAHThats a level 7 Time protectiontechnique... Where did you... Oh.

ARTHURSo you realise what you must do?

HANNAHYes.

Greg and Dan look at each other confused.

GREGUh- Sir King Arthur, what if wedont exactly know whats going on?

HANNAHI am the who trains Arthurs timeshifting power.

DANWait. So you, Hannah the TimePirate are Merlin?

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26/26

ARTHURYes, thats the general gist of it.

YOUNG!ARTHUERTime Travel? This makes no sense!

DANIt never will.

Hannah passes Dan back his guitar.

HANNAHHere, where me and Arthur aregoing, we dont need guitars.

DANThanks... I think.

HANNAHGood bye you two. Ive got afeeling though, that we might justsee each other again.

(to Young!Arthur)Get ready kid, this could be abumpy ride.

Hannah activates the sword and both she and Arthur disappear.

GREGWhat are we going to do about theseagents?

ARTHURWere going to do nothing. I cantake these guys out on my own. Youtwo arent quite strong enough topartake in a time battle yet.

DANA time battle! That sounds like thecoolest thing ever! Oh my god!

ARTHUR

Go, continue to have fun throughtime. And I am certain that I willsee you again soon.

They shake hands and Dan strums the guitar.

26.

Time Shift (Is a Terrible Name for a Band)

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