The Testing Times - August 2009
-
Upload
andy-sexton -
Category
Documents
-
view
225 -
download
1
description
Transcript of The Testing Times - August 2009
Reports Reviews Legends Cranks Riders Kit Old Skool Carbon
SEE MORE AT WWW.PLANET-X-BIKES.COM PAGE 1
INSIDE: THE RETURN OF
PAUL GITTINS - CYCLING’S
SUPERSTAR OF THE 70s
WARNING: Contents may offend
Bigger and better...are there no limits?
AUGUST 2009
WHAT’S IN THIS ISSUE?
NEW FEATURE - Top 5
Smelliest Testers!! The truth is
told!!!
Old Skool Series update
Harry Hill - by Peter Whitfield
Gambling - on / in lycra
How to be a Scratch man—Part 2
by that nice Mr Kish
Frankly Franklin
Carole Gandy - by Sue Fenwick
Who’s Hot - and Who’s Not!
Pages
Photos
Text
All there is to know about caring
for your latex, rubber and leather
gear by Nob (well who else?)
Even a competition and a chal-
lenge!
Through this illustrious publication
I think it would be fair to say we’ve
got to know a bit more about some
of cycling’s legends - the riders we
used to read about when time trial-
ling got decent press and such
gifted journo’s such as Bernard
Thompson, Dennis Donovan and
Martin Ayres used to pen their
pieces of literary genius in the in-
terests of our beloved pastime.
As a team we’ve managed to track
down a number of true “greats” from
the world of time trialling and whilst
one or two have been reluctant to come
forward, in the majority of cases we’ve
been fortunate enough to come up with
one thing or another - some of it might
even have been remotely interesting.
Many of time trialling’s icons still re-
main targeted - Cottington, Roach,
Lloyd, Woodburn, Honk and Baz still
rate highly on the top of our hit-list and
hopefully, by the time any future issues
of Testing Times have gone to print,
our intrepid reporters will have tracked
them down and be in a position to tell
us what made them tick.
In this issue, one of cycling’s super-
stars of yesteryear, Paul Gittins, tells us
about his ambitions to turn back the
clock and return to top flight testing.
Bearing in mind what Paul achieved
over the many years he ruled the roost
in both short and long distance time
trialling we couldn’t have hoped for a
bigger “name” to add to our “You’ve
been framed” list.
Thanks Paul...it’s been a pleasure.
And…
….at last we’ve got someone on the
continental professional circuit that
will allow us domestic testers to com-
pare our talents against the likes of
Contador, Cancellara and Armstrong.
Bradley Wiggins took 2:41 out of Jack
Green in Kent Valley RCs open 10 in
June (before getting dq’d for using a
naughty wheel). Does that mean that
Green would have finished 153rd out
of the 158 finishers in the Stage 18
time trial of this year’s TdF and in so
doing beat Fabian Wegman in the
process? Good game eh?
Time trial legend Paul Gittins
features inside!
Photo courtesy Andy Waters.
SEE MORE AT WWW.PLANET-X-BIKES.COM PAGE 2
A new series following on
from an earlier reference in
this very same publication to
smelly cyclists (something
wot Ian Franklin wrote!).
Bystanders at one of Team Sanjan
Design’s recent open events couldn’t
help but notice the arrival of Sam
Barker (Planet X) when he turned up
at the start “dressed” in a masculine
blend of luxurious, woody and arid
fragrances. The not unpleasant aroma
was left wafting around the start area
for several minutes after Barker’s
departure. As a measure of the lon-
gevity of the product being used,
(we’ll be using this as a measure
from now on) riders from as far
afield as those “on an 8” were still
remarking on the scent long after
Barker had left the scene. Naturally
Barker was on an “0” - it doesn’t
take a scientist to work out that’s 8
minutes…..quality stuff eh?
Alan Crane, Team Sanjan Design’s
chief pusher-offer, rated Barker’s
smell highly. One of his closest
“confidents” let it slip that Crane was
reluctant to let Barker go after the 5
4 3 2 1 countdown such was the ef-
fect the aroma had on him. “I’ve
smelt all sorts in my long and illus-
trious career as a pusher-offer and
consider myself fortunate to have
been blessed with such a sensitive
nasal cavity. I certainly wouldn’t be
where I am today without that!
“Whatever Sam was wearing was
something else and to be quite honest
I haven’t needed to wash since being
that close to him. It was powerful
stuff all right!!” he might have said!
(If Mr Crane hasn’t washed since
then he won’t be featuring in the top
4 … then again….he just might!!)
Top 5 smelly Testers -
No 5 - Sam Barker
Sam Barker (Planet X) and Alan Crane (Team Slam Bam De-
sign) - even Barker appears to be overcome with the fumes.
Photo courtesy David Jones
Do you know any “testers’ that smell? We’re on the look out for the
smelliest! If you’ve ever held up anyone you’ve been only too pleased
to push off let us know! We’ve already got the top 5 lined up but are
“flexible” if anyone has any particularly nice pictures of the fairer sex
to offer. ;-) [email protected]
SEE MORE AT WWW.PLANET-X-BIKES.COM PAGE 3
East Anglian CC Event winner, the right hon-
ourable Adrian Perkin (Godric CC) appears to
have snubbed the Country’s leading time trial
competition (Planet X’s Old Skool Series) by
turning his attention to three wheels. Close
friends of the area’s most successful “comeback
kid” of 2009 have reported that Perkin did not
consider the Series to be hard enough. Despite
having left the field for dead when he won the
East Anglian round in March, he has not en-
tered any further qualifying events leaving the
competition wide open for the lesser mortals
that yearn for their 15 minutes of fame.
Regular readers of Testing Times will no doubt re-
call Perkin flying round the B25/4 course near Attle-
borough in an unforgettable 1-39-04. His time,
when seen in print, was questioned by more than
one keen enthusiast - “You sure that’s right?” Well
we jest not! A 1-39 indeed...which is no mean feat
going Old Skool!
Perkin, on the other hand, is said to have consid-
ered that ride “a breeze” and in the quest for more
of a challenge decided to make it even harder by
adding a third wheel. While still “flicking” deep
section rims, tri-bars, “funny pointed hats” and all
other “fandangled, poncy aero gizmos”, Perkin
knocked out an incredible 1-4-50 in Norwich ABC’s
promotion on the same B25/4 course in early July.
Testing Times’ reporters are endeavoring to track
down Perkin to research the phenomenal improve-
ment for review in a future issue.
In the meantime, Planet X management fear
Perkin may be about to undermine its very own and
highly successful “It wer ard Boggle Hole weekend”
by challenging northern hard man Wayne Randle to
a man-o-man, no holds barred “Fisticuffs in the Far
East Furor”. The word on the street is that Perkin is
planning to head up a “Whelk Weekend” at Great
Yarmouth (that’s in East Anglia ….about as far east
as you can get!) during which any competitor’s real
constitution will become evident. Further details
may, or may not, be released shortly.
A slap on each of Randle’s cheeks with a wet fish
has been issued by Perkin (isn’t that something they
did in the olden days with a glove to issue a chal-
lenge?).
While Perkin continues to go from strength to
strength, Randle hasn’t improved on his year’s fast-
est ‘10’ time which he set in City RC Hull’s Old
Skool event at Easter (and in which he whimped out
by going all aero!). Perkin is said to be
“unimpressed”.
Old Skool Series
snubbed by Round
2 winner Perkin takes to three wheels
Adrian Perkin (Godric CC) en-route to a place in time trial
history. Photo courtesy Mark Cozens
www.mphotography.co.uk
SEE MORE AT WWW.PLANET-X-BIKES.COM PAGE 4
Harry Hill, who died in February this
year at the age of 92, was a brilliant
rider who was potentially among the
greats of time-trialling. His versatile
career had many highlights on road
and track, but it is often forgotten that
in 1938 he became the first man in
England to achieve every time-
triallist’s dream – breaking the hour
for the 25.
Born in Clayton-le-Moors in 1916,
Harry and his family moved to Shef-
field, where his first club was the
Sheffield Phoenix. By the time he was
twenty – in the year of the Berlin
Olympics – he was one of the fastest
25-milers in the country, riding 1:2’s
and 1:3’s, at a time when Frank
Southall’s record stood at 1:0:59. He
was selected for the Olympic team
pursuit squad, and having been
granted time off from his work as a
motor mechanic, he set off to ride
from Sheffield to London, to join the
others for final training at Herne Hill.
They took the bronze medal at Berlin,
but one of his chief memories was
arriving back at Victoria Station with-
out a penny, and facing a 200-mile
ride back to Sheffield! He was about
30 miles from home when exhaustion
set in, and he thumbed a ride in a
lorry, telling the driver, “I’ve just won
a medal in the Olympic Games.”
“Well done lad,” replied the driver,
“Chuck t’bike in t’back and I’ll see
thee home.” When he died, Harry was
believed to be one of the two last sur-
viving British participants of the Ber-
lin Olympics.
Harry was such an admired
rider that in 1937 a fund was organ-
ised by Cycling magazine to send him
to Milan to attack the hour record,
which he did in great style, setting a
new world amateur mark of 27 miles
1124 yards. At the end of that year he
turned professional for John Bull
tyres. His first pro race was a pursuit
at Herne Hill against the world pro
road champion, Eloi Meulenberg,
which Hill won convincingly, catch-
ing his man in eight laps.
Harry set his sights on the
sub-hour 25 in 1938, but of course as
a professional he could not compete
in open time-trials any more, so it
would have to be a private ride. The
59-minute ride had been long talked
about, and Southall was the man fan-
cied to do it, but never quite managed
it. There was a strong added motiva-
tion for English riders because of the
strange fact that the hour had report-
edly been broken as far back as Oc-
tober 1934 in Ireland, by a rider
named Aloysius Donegan of Portar-
lington. Riding a course near Navan
in County Meath, Donegan had not
only beaten the hour, but well and
truly smashed it, recording 59:05.
Only a couple of weeks later Done-
gan recorded 2:3:47 for a 50, almost
two minutes faster than the English
comp record at that time.
Donegan’s sub-hour ride
wasn’t exactly given the headline
treatment in the English cycling
press, and it has to be admitted that
there was a fair amount of scepticism
about it: had the course really been
measured correctly, it was asked?
This scepticism increased in 1936
when George Fleming, while on
Harry Hill… and the first sub-
hour 25 by Peter Whitfield
SEE MORE AT WWW.PLANET-X-BIKES.COM PAGE 5
holiday in Ireland, recorded a time of
57:56 in a private trial on the same
course. Now Fleming was a class
rider, and much later – after the war
– he would become the first man in-
side two hours for the 50. But sud-
denly to go fully three minutes faster
than Southall’s English competition
seemed frankly incredible. In 1937
riding back in England, Fleming took
just one second off of Southall’s
time.
So the challenge was there,
to break the hour in a manner that
could allow no doubt, and Harry was
determined to do it. By the summer
of 1938, Fleming had taken the re-
cord down to 1:0:16, so the race for a
slot in the history books was defi-
nitely on. But it proved a tough
proposition, and it took Harry three
attempts. Using the old O2 courses
on the A1 in South Yorkshire which
he knew well, he rode a 1:0:39 and
then a 1:0:29. These times were
much faster than he had done as an
amateur, but to chip away that last
half-minute was evidently going to
require something special. Perhaps
that something special came when he
had the idea of riding the course in
the reverse direction, from north to
south, to take advantage of the pre-
vailing south-westerly wind on the
run home, for finally in the last week
of June 1938, he got it. Starting at 5
am, the breeze was already fresh, and
he hammered to the 12-mile turn in
31 minutes, just 24 mph. He then
picked up speed for the return as
planned, pushing up to 26 mph on his
84-inch fixed, and came home to tri-
umph in 59:57. The ride was timed by
officials from the RTTC and the NCU,
so there was not a shadow of doubt
about it.
Harry’s time was reported in
the press, but of course it was not a
competition record because he was a
professional. The fact that it never
appeared in the RTTC record-book
has meant that his achievement has
often been overlooked: it was some-
how stigmatised because it was by a
professional. In November Harry
travelled up to Edinburgh to attack
the RRA 50 record, and took two
minutes off Southall’s mark with
1:44:30, riding on a 92-inch fixed.
It was in June 1939 that
Ralph Dougherty of the Leamington
C. & A.C. finally took the RTTC 25
record inside the hour, with his time
of 59:29. But it wasn’t until 1946
that Bas Francis set a time in Eng-
land that was the best achieved any-
where in competition, improving at
last on that slightly mysterious time
of Donegan’s, a dozen years before.
In late August 1939 Harry
travelled to Milan to take part in the
World Championships, but every-
one’s mind was on the impending
war, and the event was cancelled at
the last minute. Harry had to dash
back across France in hasty retreat,
as did Reg Harris and the others. The
war brought his career to a halt, and
afterwards he was kept out of the
sport as an ex-professional. The
1940s and 50s should have been his
best years, and he could undoubtedly
have won championships and broken
records. When he was finally al-
lowed back in, he won the VTTA
BAR no less than five times between
1972 and 1983, and in 1986 he be-
came the first 70-year-old to get un-
der the hour with, 59:54. When he
retired from full-time work at the age
of sixty, he celebrated by riding
across America! Harry Hill was a
versatile and truly great rider, who
has a unique place in time-trial his-
tory.
A legend...and a really nice bloke
to boot….Ed
Using the old O2 course on
the A1 in South York-
shire ...he had the idea of
riding the course in the
reverse direction, from north
to south, to take advantage
of the prevailing south-
westerly wind on the run
home...and came home to
triumph in 59:57.
Harry took two minutes off
Southall’s record to break the
RRA 50 figures with a 1-44-30
riding a 92” fixed.
SEE MORE AT WWW.PLANET-X-BIKES.COM PAGE 6
This two-part article is
loosely based on one of the
most humorous pieces that I
have ever seen in ‘Cycling’,
circa 1966. I’m unsure of the
author and have been unable
to trace the article, but feel
that it is right to document
that although I have updated
this from over 40 years ago,
the original idea is not mine.
So, with grateful thanks and
acknowledgements to the un-
known author …….
(So, having read Part One in last
month’s Testing Times and having
executed everything properly, you
should by now have a few glances in
your direction and possibly some dar-
ing onlookers slowly shuffling to-
wards your Majestic presence
…. Now read on!)
How to be a ‘Scratch-Man’
(Part Two – from when your bum first
touches the saddle!)
The Warm-Up – This is always done
as fast as possible starting about 20
seconds behind someone unfancied,
usually on a ‘9’ number.
The trick here is to adopt a relaxed
face for about half a minute whilst
riding at 101%. You should gain on
the unfancied rider in front and when
you’re about 5 seconds behind him,
slow right up – the point has been
made; you don’t need to pass
him! Retrace and repeat once or
twice more taking care not to get
mowed down by the fancied ‘10’ rider
behind you.
By now, almost everyone will be
aware of you – crowds of Hutch ad-
mirers may be contemplating slowly
drifting towards you as your ‘day-
slave’ applies embrocation to your
legs – you can’t do it; you’re holding
your mobile to your ear listening to
your non-existent helper at the turn
reporting traffic conditions.
Your occasional ‘ah-ha’, ‘OK’ and
‘right then’ will add authenticity to
your ‘phone-y’ conversation.
Being Pushed Off – Arrive exactly
59 seconds before your start time and
greet both timekeeper and pusher-off
with their names. Start sheet will
reveal the name of the former and
asking around will identify the lat-
ter. A polite greeting of ‘Good
morning Frank, good morning Peter’
will impress spectators, who will
now be gathered there in swarms to
see your starting effort.
Closing your eyes with 30 seconds to
go and raising your head for divine
guidance may well be interpreted as
the mark of something special that is
about to happen!
Start as powerfully as you can with a
Lloydy-ish war cry and don’t worry
– it doesn’t last too long!
The Actual Ride – Strangely
enough, one of the least important
parts of the day!!
Look stylish and use huge
gears. Completing the course and
actually getting a time is risky, so
consider an early bath at an oppor-
tune time when out of sight of the
starting point. This also helps the
bike maintain it’s immaculate ap-
pearance, as you don’t get too many
marks after the short distance on the
road.
The Post-Ride Analysis – Whatever
you do, even if you win by minutes
HOW TO BE A ‘SCRATCH-MAN’
(Part Two – from when your bum
first touches the saddle!)
SEE MORE AT WWW.PLANET-X-BIKES.COM PAGE 7
and break competition record, you MUST act disap-
pointed. All manner of previously rehearsed excuses will
now come into play ranging from wrong ratio of base
metals in the frame alloy, through various items of me-
chanical failure (loose seat post is a good ‘un) right up to
being baulked and having to circumnavigate a round-
about twice.
The Result Board – and …..
Golden Rule 2 – Never write down anyone else’s
times. It’s unimportant to a man on a mission such as
you. Just stand there remorsefully sighing and shaking
your head. Be prepared to answer lots of questions about
‘what happened’.
Refuse all tea, coffee and cakes – your perfect dietary
balance may be thrown out of equilibrium. As optional,
you can announce that the cakes look nice, and if only
you were allowed ….. !!
Thank the organiser, shake his hand and depart, awaiting
your notification by post for an Oscar nomination.
So, there you have it; how to create an aura of being
an unlucky fast-man without having to train ….. and
if all goes well, your reputation will be established
and after your departure, people will be whispering
of what could have been on that day had luck been on
your side.
In closing, I offer one quick word of warning – your
body may treat your warming-up efforts as high in-
tensity interval training and as a result, you may actu-
ally become quite fast off the blocks.
If this is the case, consider giving up time trialling,
writing your memoirs and dropping a quick line to
Sir Chris to tell him that you’ll see him in 2012.
Await his well-publicised reply of ‘on yer bike!’
by that nice Mr Kish (aged 131)
Alf Engers (left) the
ultimate Scratch-man.
Photo from
Bernard Thompson’s
Cycling Archive.
Do YOU want to be a Scratch-man? Enter one of Planet X’s remaining Old Skool Series events and you’re in
with (at the very most) a 1 in 120 chance - much better odds than the National Lottery don’t you think?
Participation alone will result in world-wide recognition - claim your 15 minutes of fame by being part of it.
Be there … or be square!
Let’s face it. Every club
has its own characters,
oddballs, strange people
and committee members.
I’m one of those, our
lovely editor may be one
and I’m sure, you the
reader, may be the other.
I was first alerted to this phenomena
in my first club, the now-deceased
Folkestone and District Cycling
Club. There were characters in that
club that will live with me for-
ever. As usual though, I’ll change
their names to protect the guilty and
to stop me getting sued. First up was
the Chairman – a Labour Councilor
who used to live on the same council
estate as me. I’ll call him Gordon
Blair. He was probably one of a
small handful of socialist councilors
in a town that was Tory dominated,
but had served so long and was so
popular that the Tories once voted
for him to be town mayor.
A bit lethal on his bike was our
Gordon. He only had one eye and
couldn’t ride in a straight line. Club
runs with him were fun as you can
imagine! For a start he always rode
fixed wheel and East Kent is
not exactly known for its flat roads
(that is if you exclude the Romney
Marshes). He was quite, shall we
say, portly and sweated buckets on
every club run. Indeed, he produced
so much external liquid that we were
able to fill our aluminum water bot-
tles by holding them under his
chin whilst riding along. On one oc-
casion his glass eye fell out and we
were all off our bikes and scrabbling
around the verge trying to find it.
He was backed by his sidekick, the
club’s treasurer I believe, known as
‘The Flycatcher’. Forget about my
erstwhile colleague’s dirty fly-strewn
bike – this guy was the real deal. He
used to ride for mile after mile with
his mouth wide open and every mile
or so spit out the mouthful of flies
that he had trapped. Covered in glob-
ules of saliva they usually landed on
the guy riding behind to his left, so
we soon learnt that was a place to be
avoided. Any new rider was always
told to ride in that exact spot where
the poor sod would remain until he
wised up. I’ve often wondered if The
Flycatcher was responsible for
Gordon’s lost eye.
Every club has a character who
lives on his bike, eschews
any close contact with members of
the opposite sex and is a fount of all
knowledge. Welcome ‘The Sheriff’.
He always encouraged the kids,
taught us many skills and these days
would be the cornerstone of any Go-
Ride scheme. He owned the first set
of rollers I’d ever seen and we spent
hours in his garden shed learning to
pedal a tiny fixed gear whilst balanc-
ing on said rollers. His elderly mum
fed us the most wonderful home
made cakes and cups of tea. The
great thing about The Sheriff was
that he lent out bikes or wheels so us
sproggs could ride the local tens or
open 25s on the Q8, and my first de-
cent bike was bought from him sec-
ondhand. It was a Macleans with an
extra long wheelbase which I used
for some years. Other bikes were an
all-chrome RO Harrison, a Claud
Butler (when they were real bikes),
a Hetchins and a couple of trikes. He
had the lot.
Off course like most characters he
had his eccentricities. His was ‘the
karate chop’. Any untoward event
such as a puncture, a broken cable, a
bad time trial or inclement weather
used to produce the famous edge-of-
hand karate chop on his handlebars
accompanied by the risque word
‘damn’. We had the last laugh when
he once chopped his bars so hard that
they snapped in two. In those days
we were all without motor vehi-
cles so he had to manipulate his
trike for the 24 miles home with a
dangling handlebar and a bit of wood
stuck in the remaining bit of his
bars. I lost touch with him but many
years later I learnt that he’d met a
spinster in the village, given up rid-
ing and spent his time playing with a
model railway that he had built in his
garden.
Mike the Midget lived just around
the corner. I always saw him as a
Cycling Characters and Unsung Heroes
by Ian Franklin
Dan Dare would have been a
cycling character if he’d had a
bike.
SEE MORE AT WWW.PLANET-X-BIKES.COM PAGE 8
somewhat privileged individual as
his father owned the only radio and
record player shop in town and my
mum used to rent a radio from them.
Mike did his best to keep the club
going as the numbers dwindled over
the years and was always full
of misguided enthusiasm. Only a few
years older than me I always thought
he acted and dressed like an old man
and until a few years ago still rode
around Kent lanes in plus fours (or
woolly shorts on hot days), a very
old Folkestone & District jersey and
long colourful socks. I’m certain that
when young potential members came
along and saw this oddball, they beat
a hasty retreat. Its no coincdence that
Velo Club Deal went from strength
to strength as the Folkestone de-
clined.
Finally my mate George. Gorgeous
George. We went to school together
and whilst I flew at the top of the A
stream, poor George struggled at the
bottom of the Cs. Mind you he was a
quicker rider than me and his parents
were reasonably well off so George
was able to afford a top-of-the-range
something or the other and always
looked quite cool. When I was eight-
een he was really miffed that I’d got
an apprenticeship on Cycling & Mo-
peds (that’s our comic before it be-
came Spor Teef Weekly), so he set
about undermining me in the best
way he could. Back in the mid-
sixties the comic used to do a weekly
column with snippets of info and
silly stories from all over. I’d been
home for the weekend and George
told me that “the club’s new rule is
that all riders must use their bikes for
the club room, if they turn up by car
it’ll cost double the club night fee”. I
duly reported this to the editor Alan
Gayfer who told me to write it up
and put it in the snippets column,
which I duly did.
On Wednesday, publication day,
the ‘phone calls came in from an en-
raged Folkestone readeship. Gordon,
Flycatcher, Sheriff and Mike were all
on the line demanding a retraction
for this outrageous lie. Gorgeous
George had got his own back and I
was well and truly set up. Fortu-
nately, Alan saw the funny side.
Now talking about working on the
comic, I won’t go into the late Alan’s
eccentricities but he was no doubt
the best editor that the magazine had
ever had. He loved the sport and he
also loved to set you up. In those
days, pre-computer and all that, we
used to be in the office on Sunday
evenings to take copy (ie race reports
and results) on the ‘phone and put
the last news pages to bed. It used to
take virtually all night. On my first
evening I was given a set of head-
phones, a typewriter and a pile of
paper and told to take copy
from Anne Horn, the Scottish corre-
spondent. Anne was in a penny
‘phone box somewhere in the far
north. It was no doubt cold, wet and
windy. I couldn’t understand
her thick Scottish accent so mistake
number one: I kept asking her to re-
peat which annoyed her a bit. Mis-
take number two was to ask her to
slow down as I couldn’t type.
This copy-taking session just went
on and on as she gave me the unpro-
nounceable names of riders who rode
for unpronounceable clubs. I think
Anne was used to doing this
in twenty minutes so by the time 55
minutes had expired she’d run out of
pennies and run short of temper.
However, I duly compiled the re-
sults, they were published in that
week’s comic and Wednesday morn-
ing once again produced a flurry
of ‘phone calls from anguished rid-
ers and clubs miffed at being called
such things as Bert McFeather of
Clacking Chickens CC or Mac
MacMac of Wren Threw Shire Wil-
lies. I later learnt that on the follow-
ing Sunday evening Anne pleaded
with Alan to keep me off
the ‘phones. I think I had to make tea
and clean bikes instead.
Spiderman probably never
EVER rode a bike but he’s
many people’s hero….as is
Gordon Hart (Icknield RC)
course-measurer / time-
keeper extraordinaire and
organizer of the Luton /
Icknield “12” since Pontius
was a pilot...an unsung hero
if ever there was one.
SEE MORE AT WWW.PLANET-X-BIKES.COM PAGE 9
Do YOU know an unsung hero?
Let us know about him / her.
Photo from Icknield RC’s web-site
SEE MORE AT WWW.PLANET-X-BIKES.COM PAGE 10
Cyclists are well known for ‘having
a rush of blood to the head’, usually
however, after a night’s sleep, the
good idea has turned out to be im-
possible. That is unless your name is
Andrew G. Clarke. Three years my
junior, Andrew followed my foot-
steps, or should I say wheel marks. A
Shropshire lad and member of the
rival Mid-Shropshire Wheelers, he
was brought up back in the 70s on
the unforgiving roads known to any-
one who has ridden a ‘D’ course in
North Shropshire. Immersed in the
folklore which was prevalent at that
time, in what was primarily the ‘Alf
says nod’ era, he was hooked on time
trialling and gradually heightened the
bar as he went, eventually winning
the Shropshire CCA ‘25’ champion-
ship in the late 70’s, before pursuing
his dream of a fast ‘25’ and looking
good at the same time. Not always
easy. Those around then may re-
member his trademark headband,
with his mop of dark curly hair
catching the wind as he went. De-
spite this, he still did a 53.42, in
1982, on the old E72, very respect-
able ride on the day as it was won by
‘25’ maestro of that time, Martin
Pyne, with a ‘50’. Engers himself, on
yet another comeback managed a
‘52’. Andrew’s diet of short distance
training curtailed any longer event
ambitions and at the end of 1984 he
hung up his racing wheels, concen-
trated on work and disappeared from
the scene.
An attempted comeback in 1991 was
too much, and with that he set about
life in Indonesia, where, after a di-
vorce, he met his second wife, Dea,
and started a new young family. His
job working for Diageo, owners of
Guinness, Johnnie Walker, Gordon’s,
Smirnoff and 300 other alcoholic bev-
erages, took him all around the world,
and as the lifestyle took its toll, he
piled on the pounds. Living out of a
suitcase and abuse of the body by sam-
pling his wares as he went, left him far
from any level of fitness at all.
However, once a cyclist always a cy-
clist, and those memories and friend-
ships made many years previous, were
never far from his thoughts. So when
the idea of riding 50 miles at 50 years
of age came up - bearing in mind
his once lean, mean, racing ma-
chine of a body was now 99kg - it
seemed like a tough challenge.
Then long time friend, Tony
James, suggested joining the Mer-
seyside Vets and trying to attain
his standards at 10, 25, 30 and 50
miles. This was all that Andrew
needed to galvanise himself into
action.
After starting to ride his bike again
in September, 2008, the cobwebs
were blown away on the poorly
surfaced roads of Jakarta. With
speed bumps every half mile and
traffic only moving along at 20
mph, this task was going to require
patience! This he displayed as he
strived to shed some pounds and
retrieve some of his former fitness.
His arrival in the UK on 2nd June
saw the start of 4 very hectic
weeks, catching up with family,
old friends, and racing just about
everything that was on offer.
Bikes, clothing, courses, training
had all changed dramatically in 25
years and current methods were
somewhat difficult to absorb. But
absorb them he did and the day
after landing, he threw himself into
the Oswestry Paragon ‘10’ and
somehow produced a remarkable
24.00! Shock to the system this
was, but also confirmation that
‘there was life in the old
dog……..’. The customary head-
band was also out of storage, soak-
ing the sweat from under his new
From Jakarta to K16 …All for his
VTTA Standard!
by Alan Roberts
Andrew Clarke Southend and County ‘25’, 53:42, 6 June 1982
SEE MORE AT WWW.PLANET-X-BIKES.COM PAGE 11
aero helmet and with those curly
locks giving way to a ‘number 3’,
this fit the bill perfectly. Always a
man for speed, between the ‘10’ on
the Wednesday and the weekend he
found time to take a trip down mem-
ory lane in his Porsche 911 Turbo , a
boy’s toy he could not give up when
he left these shores. This was given
some action during the trip over, but
never distracted him from the main
objective.
With the first test at 50 miles due in
the Manchester Wheelers event, a
wet three laps of Chelford was con-
sidered a hindrance to the long term
plan, and so the energy was saved for
the following morning’s ‘25’ on the
more familiar roads of Shropshire.
As a lad he had learned his trade on
these roads over 30 years ago.
D25/8, Prees Heath the venue and
Chester RC putting on the ‘Alf Jones
Memorial’ ‘25’, full of adrenalin An-
drew did a 1.2.22, well inside the
standard for his age. Two days later
and only a week after landing at
Manchester, his consistency was evi-
dent with a 1.2.12, done in the
Shropshire CCA Championship
‘25’. No win this time but happy
reflections back to the late 70’s,
early 80’s, when he himself man-
aged three senior titles. The last of
these in 1982, was some five min-
utes slower than his all time per-
sonal best. I think this demon-
strates perfectly the toughness of
our Shropshire courses.
By now he was beginning to real-
ise that the roads were as dire as
the day he left, but knew that the
efforts he was making would stand
him in good stead for a possible
sub hour ride on one of his, and
mine come to that, all time favour-
ite courses, the K16, ahh!! Before
then, after a few days recovery it
was a trip to the Midlands and the
Redditch Road & Path CC ‘10’,
held on the K33/10. This proved to
be his best attempt at the distance,
recording a 22.58 for a plus 4.35.
Well-chuffed with this, he had
achieved what he had hoped/
dreamed of during those long hard
months of preparation. If this was-
n’t enough, he rode the following
morning’s Shirley RC ‘50’, on a
harder than anticipated course. After
a fast first ‘25’ the legs screamed as
he passed the timekeeper in 2.10.03
with a plus of 17.35 in the bag. He
had done it, 50 at 50, and consider-
ing his best ever was only 1.59 this
was, under the circumstances, one to
be proud of.
With the National ‘50’ pencilled in
for the following week there was still
a chance to improve, however after
checking out the course during the
week, it was decided that he wanted
no part of the action, due to safety
concerns. This as it turned out was a
wise move, as the day turned out to
be tough and any chance of an im-
provement was slim to none at all.
However, with all his pent up en-
ergy, he tackled the following morn-
ing’s ‘25’ on the much loved and
fondly remembered K16 with added
gusto. Run by the Midland Vets, the
day was cool with a cross wind, and
with a 6.45am start, there was no
chance of any help from the traffic.
So it was all down to fitness and how
much he wanted it, and Andrew
wanted it, to get under would help
cap this crazy return to the British
Time Trialling scene. Four weeks of
madness, and he didn’t disappoint as
he stopped the watch on 59.18. An-
other plus, this time 11.49. I think he
sent me the text with his time as he
rode back to the HQ, he was so de-
lighted.
With three standards achieved it was
just down to the Shropshire CCA
‘30’ to complete the set. Back on the
familiar Shawbirch to Tern Hill
stretch and with recently layed chip-
pings, there was no easy ride here.
On top of this, the night turned out to
be very hot and windy, with a hard
leg to the turn. Now getting back into
the groove, Andrew was learning
that a fast start is not always the an-
swer, so on this occasion he took a
slightly more controlled ride out into
Andrew Clarke Midland Vets ‘25’, K16, 59:18, 21 June 2009
the wind, and rode a strong finish, end-
ing up with a 1.14.38 for a creditable
plus of 10.42, taking the category ‘B’
prize into the bargain. Job done, all
standards set, showing the same deter-
mination he had shown all those years
ago.
With the pressure now off, there were
still two attempts at the ‘10’ and an-
other crack at the ‘25’. However the
weekend weather for the Worcester St
John’s ‘10’ was again hot and windy
and with a rolling course, the end result
was 23.44, still well up the final order
but not quite enough. The following
morning’s Rhyl RC ‘25’ was the
‘last chance saloon’ as far as improv-
ing the ‘25’ went. With a good road
surface and two and a half laps of the
St Asaph/Abergele circuit to cover,
there was genuine hope of an im-
provement. Despite his best efforts,
Andrew had to settle for a 1.00.32,
after struggling on the drags into a
rising easterly breeze. With the holi-
day almost over, it was all guns blaz-
ing in the Team Westmead 88 ‘10’
on the flat J2/1.Again the evening
turned out to be hot, sticky and
harder than expected, so finishing off
with a 23.40 was no disgrace. 29
days, 10 races, 4 standards gained.
This shows what can be achieved
with enthusiasm and desire.
The trip would not have been com-
plete without returning home with
his VTTA Standards Plaque, so a
chance was taken that there would be
no last minute improvements and I
wrote a grovelling email to John
Cook from Brunwin Engraving, ex-
plaining the circumstances. John
then pulled out all the stops and from
email to delivery to presentation,
including a weekend, only 5 days
had elapsed. Excellent service John,
thanks from us both.
At the time of writing Andrew had
just left for home, but is already in
talks with the lovely Dea for another
trip next year. His thoughts are now
on how to close the gap on the event
winners, which he has worked out is
some 3mph. To do this, his aim is to
shed even more surplus weight, pur-
chase a good pair of wheels, shod
with light tubulars and last but not
least, include some interval training,
something more technical than rac-
ing every 25 years!! Watch this
space!!
Good luck Andrew, it was great to
see you again after all those years
and catch up on old times. I look for-
ward to us getting together again
next year.
Alan presenting Andrew with Standards Plaque. Headbands rule ok!
SEE MORE AT WWW.PLANET-X-BIKES.COM PAGE 12
You’re running out of time if you haven’t yet pit your skills against the Country’s “retrobates” (made-up
word…..sort of play on the trade-name “Bates” and “retro...as in old!). Only four Planet X Old Skool
events left to ride. Likely to be your very last chance to dust off and race your 1980s machine on the open
road before they’re banned by the CTT due to safety issues. Rumour has it that reports have been received
about the dodgy handling of Old Skool bikes in crosswinds due to their fat tubes and round spokes. Ride
them into the ground before its too late. Remaining events……..
SEE MORE AT WWW.PLANET-X-BIKES.COM PAGE 13
Here are a few ideas to get you
started...
Is it a bird, is it a plane, no it's Super
Hutch.
Hutch trying out his new aero posi-
tion.
Hutch's pilot’s licence is in the post.
The British Army's replacement heli-
copter undergoing trials.
CONTEST RULES
By submitting an entry, you agree to
the following rules.
What can I win?
Third place will win a homeopathic
remedy called “disappointment”
which is a distillation that has been
scientifically prepared from champi-
onship winning urine collected at
source by specially trained (and
slightly weird) individuals and sub-
sequently diluted 10−60 (30C) to create
a potent draught that once imbibed
will endow any individual with the
power of its source.
Second prize winner will receive a
syringe of “Hair of the Hutch that
beat you”. This essence is derived
from a single hair (nicely curly)
found behind a toilet after the na-
tional 10 and was collected with
golden tweezers and placed into a
crystal cryogenic flask for freshness
by one of the Planet X Oompa
Loompas and taken to our Labora-
toire for essence extraction and pack-
aged in a handy single use syringe
for freshness. Use of this product
before a race will give an amazing
boost and used after a race will in-
stantly cure that post race hung over
feeling.
*Used in our Laboratoire tests, 8/10
riders stated that a prick in the arse
with this product worked for them.
First prize winner. There is no
chance of getting first place, give up
now or train hard enough to make it
worthwhile turning up next year.
Who may enter?
Anyone may enter. If you're over 80
years old and have the full written
permission of both your parents and
one grandparent.
What do I send you to enter this
contest?
Write a funny caption for the follow-
ing cartoon and send it to the email
address shown in the next section.
Include your name, address, and
phone number. Also, tell us a little
about yourself and your interest in
winning the prizes.
Each person may submit up to 5
captions. However, only one prize
will be awarded per person.
Captions will be judged by a desig-
nated professional (Ian Cammish) all
decisions are final, correspondence
may be entered into but an unintelli-
gible answer may be received.
We must receive your entry no later
than August 31st, 1809.
The next section?
What was I suppose to be writing
here? Oh I forget.
How will I know if I have won?
Winners will be notified by pigeon
post and the winning entries will ap-
pear in the next issue.
Additional rules
All prizes are non-transferable and
void where prohibited by law. No
cash substitution of prizes allowed.
Winners understand and agree that
they are responsible for any and all
taxes incurred on prizes received.
*Prizes may not even exist and no
riders were tested, but hey, what sort
of person reads the rules and the
small print.
Competition sponsored by:
Caption Competition
The Spring Collections are re-
vealed and my goodness, skinsuits
are really in! Yes, it is farewell to
the separate shorts and vest: tried,
trusted and modified over the years
but giving way now, to the sleek,
figure-hugging one-piece. The cy-
cling Fashion Houses have swung
heavily towards the single stream-
lined garment for the trackman and
time triallist and very stunning they
are too. Really ideal for that hectic
dual-carriageway dash against the
clock or dancing the spring fantas-
tic.
They come in high-shine plain
tops, imaginative contrasts or club
colours with the regulation black
bottom (oh dear, when are we going
to get ice-blue or vivid orange
nether regions?) often set off with a
lovely little manufacturer’s logo or
sponsor’s motif.
Another sweet addition to the col-
lection is the hooded version, which
extends that continuous aerodynamic
contour to the neck and head, not
forgetting those awful stick-out ears.
Incidentally, the hood makes the sin-
gle earing redundant but perhaps that
is yesterday’s fashion and a dead
weight, anyway. We hear of an out-
rageously clever idea, on the de-
signer’s sketch pad, to smooth away
noses but that must wait until 1992.
Meanwhile, remember, you read it
here first.
The roadmen are just a little tardy,
fashion wise, at the moment but they
are in skinsuits whenever possible
and will look chic either promenad-
ing in the bunch or cut and thrusting
through a criterium.
Of course, trackmen have to be up-
to-the-minute immaculate, coasting
before the crowd on top of the bank-
ing or riding that proud lap of honour
after a victory. Remember, never
wear colours which clash with the
bouquet. Now, a warning note.
There were sad tantrums last season
from one of the more butch tandem
riders when a rose laddered his
tights. So, watch for that nasty little
problem.
Early events in the colder months
will doubtless feature the ‘Total
Look’ - the all-in hooded top and
tights outfit with warm muffed feet.
You will need a liberal coating of
olive oil to slide in and out of this
absolutely swish garment, but how
rewarding it is.
Spring Collections always have
something a little wild and mad, and
this year is no exception. Guess
what? Arm warmers in somber
black relieved with gold rings at the
cuffs. Yes! Well, they had us gasp-
ing: And there is talk of matching
thick gold braid on the chests and
shoulders of racing jerseys. Jokers
do tell a recent prototype was so
tight a bottle of turps was need to get
it off.
The ladies often write to say they
should be counted among the cycling
fashion-conscious set. Of course, the
male rig-outs are uni-sex, so the girls
should feel they are included any-
way. If they want a particularly
feminine touch, how about a daz-
zling garment in club colours, worn
above or below the knee. But they
needn’t worry. For all those with
minimum discernment it is not diffi-
cult to distinguish the female.
Apart from the recognized cycling
Fashion Houses, there are now many
little one-person cottage industry
businesses, specialising in skinsuit
fabrics and very nice little numbers
they are too. Back to the weaver to
wearer tradition, in fact.
Sartorial tourists are excitingly ca-
tered for again, but less distraction
with streamlining and more emphasis
Gambling .... Skinsuits are really in
fashion this season Mick Gambling (seen right
modeling the latest in East
Anglian haute couture) con-
tributed around 5000 arti-
cles, race reports, interviews
etc for Cycling Weekly, for-
merly Cycling.
They encompassed a 40-
year period, 1965 – 2004
and half that period, to 1985,
included l ight-hearted
pieces. Many were topical
for the period, although
some are still relevant to the
present time. A taste of these
will be produced on a regu-
lar basis. Mick is still alive
and pedaling in Norfolk.
SEE MORE AT WWW.PLANET-X-BIKES.COM PAGE 14
on air-conditioning. There are splen-
did jackets in poplin and gabardine to
be worn under super yellow capes for
pedaling around England in high sum-
mer, but the leggy look is in for you
CTC and YHA folk. Daring shorts in
fully lined double-seat corduroy, wide
in the leg to admit the breeze and with
flared hem one inch above the knee!
Will your Mum let you out in them?
To complete the ensemble, there are
wicked little calf-length socks in off-
beat multi-coloured wool that will sur-
prise Scunthorpe and captivate Coven-
try. Ideal, too, for a romantic stroll
before lights out.
Yes, the Spring Fashions have been
well and truly sprung and already the
Houses, to whom we owe so much, are
busy designing their Autumn Collec-
tions. Personally we can hardly wait.
SEE MORE AT WWW.PLANET-X-BIKES.COM PAGE 15
AUGUST’S BIKE OF THE MONTH is Ralph Dadswell’s state of the art Roberts. They
say “what goes around comes around” so it won’t be long before we’re all tootling up and
down dual carriageways on bikes just like this. Photo courtesy Andy Sexton Enterprises.
Dave Lloyd (right) -
one of the first (if not
THE first) riders in the
UK to wear a skinsuit.
The integral skinhood
is still to catch on.
Photo from Bernard
Thompson’s Cycling
Archive..
SEE MORE AT WWW.PLANET-X-BIKES.COM PAGE 16
We’ve had “Where’s Web-
ster?” and we’ve managed
to track down Martin
Pyne but the search goes on
for more “blasts from the
past”. Steve Kish dons his
dear-stalker and picks up his
pipe to find out what’s hap-
pened to….decent bike
shops.
In this day of super-retailers such as
Evans and Halfords Bikehut, I’m
tending to miss some ‘old skool’
shops, mostly long gone but not for-
gotten and have just listed a few that
spring to mind, in no particular order
and in the hope that Testing Times
readers who frequent the F, G and H-
courses may have memories of them
as fond as mine:-
Dave Russell, Slough – My first
visit there circa 1984 when it was in
Chalvey.
Despite promising myself to get
Dave to build me one of his legen-
dary close-clearance Roger Queen-
type frames, I never actually got
around to this …. shame on
me! However, I did the next best
thing and slapped a few of his trans-
fers on my Emperor Sport frame af-
ter he re-sprayed it for me.
Dave eventually gave up the shop
before briefly trading from home
prior to taking over Peter Hare’s
shop in Twyford for a while.
Sadly Dave passed away about a
year ago. The Twyford shop is no
longer there.
Stuart Bikes, Acton – A great ‘hang
out but never buy anything’ shop run
by the gently spoken and mega-
tolerant Dave Stuart-Clark. Al-
though more of an all-round bike
shop (I bought my younger daughter
her first bike there, even before she
could walk!), this was the home of
the best wheel builder that I ever
knew, Les Harre-Young from the
Bath Road Club.
Sadly the shop was closed in about
1995, as it lost a lot of passing trade
when British Rail did major works
on Acton Main Line station and
closed the through-road that passed
the shop.
Don Farrell Cycles, Burnt Oak – A
very flash shop-front that sold skiing
stuff as well as very up-market cy-
cling gear.
Bought my first Cinelli M71 pedals
here from the bloke who ran it. I
can’t remember his name but it
was something cool and bikestar-
ish like ‘Fillipe’ or ‘Fabrizzio’,
with extra coolness added by the
fact that he wore a cycling cap and
sunglasses nearly all the time.
I remember getting there once just
before the shop opened only to see
him arrive on his ‘Campag-
everything’ bike … I was green
with envy for about a week!
J D Whiskers, Kilburn – Now,
this one is still going, now situated
in Welwyn Garden City.
The Kilburn shop was slightly out
of place in a small parade contain-
ing West Indian grocers, hairdress-
ers and newsagents. I bought my
first and only brand-new frame
there, a Frejus track iron in about
1965. Looked great but rode like a
five-bar gate.
Run for years by Alan Ephgrave of
the Welwyn Wheelers, now retired
and Audaxing away merrily with
huge mileage.
J D Whiskers, Goffs Oak – When
the Kilburn shop closed, business
was transferred to here, so no
quickly nipping up in the lunch-
break from when I worked in Cam-
den Town.
Closed earlier this year but now
the whole Whisker empire trades
from Welwyn Garden City with
David and Andrew Whisker run-
ning the show and Steve Ephgrave
(Alan’s son) doing sterling work
with the trade counter ….. my fa-
vourite non-eBay bike shop at pre-
sent.
Where are they now…..decent
bike shops?
SEE MORE AT WWW.PLANET-X-BIKES.COM PAGE 17
Jim Bird Cycles, Colindale – Literally half a mile away
from Don Farrell’s, both on the old A5 Watling Street.
Run by Jim himself, who had a unique ability to find any-
thing that you wanted in one of countless unmarked
drawers on his back wall. It’s quite probable that this
shop was the inspiration for the classic ‘Two Ronnie’s’
sketch about ‘fork handles / four candles’.
Dauphin Sport, Box Hill – Good one for the roadmen,
as you couldn’t ride there without going up a monster hill
– pretty sure that the grocer’s shop next door made a for-
tune on Lucozade Sport sold to cyclists for this very rea-
son.
Run by ex-pro Tony ‘I know Eddy Merckx quite well’
Mills and his helpful son Tim, who always insisted on
calling my wife Mrs Kish and her friend Jane as Mrs
Cottington.
Now still trading as Cycles Dauphin with bigger premises
but for me, certainly lacking the atmosphere of the old
place.
Sadly, in this age and since the ‘new technological
dawn’, I tend to buy most of my stuff from eBay but with
some stuff from Whiskers, mostly by mail order.
However, despite the ease of this, I’d gladly go back to
the times where you’d go to your local bike shop, catch
up with all the gossip and scandal, drink four cups of tea,
drool at (or even fondle, if favoured) the latest Campag
exotica, buy two rolls of handlebar tape and find that
you’d spent the whole day doing this.
Now, what’s that Mary Hopkins song?
(…. with apologies to any that I’ve forgotten!)
Anyone remember “Reeds” of Wimbledon?
Ed
Best to shop on-line!!!
TESTING TIMES
NOW IN COLOUR!
Just to prove we’ve not been
mothballed and aren’t all mono-
chrome ...eyes left. Nice eh?
(Ed’s got some on his bike).
Superlight and super price. Go
here
http://www.planet-x-
warehouse.co.uk/acatalog/
Online_Catalogue_Road_Calip
ers_338.html
SEE MORE AT WWW.PLANET-X-BIKES.COM PAGE 18
“Pusher-offers these days
don’t know what they’re
missing” says Ian Cammish
(Planet X). “It’s as clear as
black and white that in my
day we smelt so much better
than the current crop. I
mean….. we had the likes of
Brut 33, High Karate and
Lavender Water. All the top
stars used to wear the stuff
….(well ok... maybe not the Laven-
der Water but my Great Gran
thought it smelt nice).
“Henry Cooper, Kevin Keegan,
Barry Sheene, Del Trotter, Hong
Kong Phooey and my big brother
who thought about joining the Army
and could have beat your brother up
any day of the week all swore by it.
“ When I turned up at races you
should have seen the crowds that
turned up to sample for themselves
the ‘Essence of Man’. I lost count of
the number of sighs and shaking
heads that greeted me at race Head-
quarters. Times have changed...no
doubt!
“There are certainly some smelly
buggers about these days and I put
that all down to that David Peckham
and his Mrs from Girls Aloud. They
should concentrate on their football
and karaoke rather than selling their
smellies in dodgy glossy magazines.
I’ve got no time for them!
‘Intimately Peckham’...what’s all
that about eh? No way Pedro…”
WHO’S HOT THIS MONTH
IN THE WORLD OF
DOMESTIC TIME TRIAL-
LING:
Bradley Wiggins: No doubt
whatsoever. Before the Tour
started, 99% of us scoffed and
ridiculed the suggestion that GB
may have a Tour winner within 5
years. Brad proved it’s possible.
Brad….if you need a CTT
approved wheel for your next
domestic event, let me know and
I’m sure we can sort you one out
at a good price! ;-)
Ian Franklin - for being Ian
Franklin. (Ta matey!).
Robert Garbut for spicing up the
comic a bit. (Be interesting to see
what going to be offer now the
Tour’s finished. The BBAR is
just getting going you know!).
Justin Lomas for his scintillating
25 minute ride round the Abbot-
sley circuit the other week.
PNut for his 30 mph ‘10’...at last!
..and STILL red hot….
Top 5 smelly Testers -
No 4 - Ian Cammish
The Good Old Days when crowds used to turn up to sample
the “Essence of Man”.
Photo courtesy Steve ‘Big Boy’ Williams
WANTED: Calendar girls….
(and boys)
HOW TO APPLY:
Interested (male) parties to submit CV’s (which must include vital sta-
tistics and any relevant claims to fame - who you’ve knocked off ....for
example) to Sarah http://www.sarahbrookephotography.co.uk/
Any of the fairer sex interested in some free cycle clips, a beanie hat
and possible global fame should submit photos (in the first instance) to
the Ed…..you know where to get hold of me (please!!). ;-)
“Auditions” are likely to be held in the Editor’s spare bedroom on a
Wednesday evening (when Mrs Editor goes to aerobics) or in his pot-
ting shed (entrance by the back passage with prior appointment) at any
other time.
As long as it’s not December (cos it’s
VERY cold then and I’ve got my
reputation to think about) I’ll be up
for it!!...Ed!
What it’s all about!
You’ve heard about Calender Girls….surely?
Well a group from theTT Forum are doing
something similar…..honest!....all for the sake
of charity. They’re on the look out for volun-
teers - male or female will do (that narrows it
down a bit doesn’t it?) but you’ll need to be
broad minded and have a sense of humour. If
you don’t think you size up, don’t worry, you
can still take part by purchasing a copy of the
completed “collectable” some time before 1
January 2010. Keep your eyes peeled! Eyes
left for your starters!
Be there...be
square!
SEE MORE AT WWW.PLANET-X-BIKES.COM PAGE 19
Carole Gandy has been
racing for well over a
quarter of a century and over
the years has won National
medals in various colours
but finally broke the curse of
always being the bridesmaid
with a stunning 2004 season
winning both the Women’s
National 100 mile
Championship and the
Ladies BBAR. Sue Fenwick
caught up with Carole to find
out more about the calibre of
this extraordinary lady.
S: How did it feel to win the BAR
after more than 25 years of trying
to get there?
C: I had been quite successful over
the years winning 4 bronze medals, 4
silver medals in the BBAR as well as
winning medals of various colours in
the Ladies National Champion-
ships. As I said at the BAR Awards
dinner, Beryl won it for 25 years and
it took me 25 years to win it! I was
absolutely amazed. To quote “Even
a shrimp can be great when there are
no other fish in the sea”. Some peo-
ple said I only won because there
was nobody much else racing that
year but everyone had a chance to
win but if they don’t race, then they
can’t win.
S: Well you’re certainly no
shrimp. You won that fair and
square on your own merits. And
the world is full of people wanting
to diss those who are at the top.
Your 2005 season was also very
good: 3rd in the 50 and 2nd in the
100, with personal bests of 22.09
and 55.30.
It’s well-documented that your suc-
cess has come after becoming a pupil
of coach Dave Lloyd. How did you
get to work with Dave? C: My husband John is a trainee cycle
coach and over the years he has always
advised me. We agreed that we had
gone as far as we could coaching-wise
so we decided to approach Dave in
December 2003.
S: Dave is known as a hard task-
master. Is that true?
C: He is a very hard taskmaster.
I’ve seen some of the negative
comments on internet forums
about his training methods being
too hard but I ask you, if you take
an Olympiad or any serious athlete
SEE MORE AT WWW.PLANET-X-BIKES.COM PAGE 20
Carole Gandy Words by Sue(choccy) Fenwick
Photos by David Jones
Socks by Damart
who really wants to get somewhere,
they’ve got to train, they’ve got to be
focussed and it’s going to be very
hard. Some under his wing found it
difficult to always do what Dave pre-
scribes. If on one day you just have to
pedal in a small gear in a particular
zone which meant that other cyclists
overtook them, this is when they asked
the question was Dave the right coach
for them.
My only complaint with Dave is he
sometimes forgets how old I am – 65 –
and how much more time I need to
recover especially over the longer dis-
tances. But training’s got to be hard
otherwise when you’re racing, you
won’t go fast. Dave has shown a lot of
people how to do it – Wendy Houvana-
gel was one of his first pupils and look
at her now, how she’s gone on to de-
velop.
S: Apart from time trialling success
in recent years, you’ve also turned
your hand to two 2nd places in the
World Masters Road and Time Trial
Championships in Austria in 2004
and 2005, and you won the National
Masters 2000m pursuit in 2005.
What made you branch out? C: Both John and I enjoy cycling for
pleasure joining up with friends for
cycling holidays and also enjoying our
campervan taking our bikes along with
us and exploring different places of
interest. It was Dave who thought that
the National Master’s Track Champi-
onships and the World Master Time
Trial in Austria would be good for
me. Whilst I was successful at the
Track Championships I only came sec-
ond at the World Master age related
Time Trial. I was so disappointed at
coming second that Gill Henshaw sug-
gested I should enter the World Master
Road Race and John chipped in saying
that I can be quite an aggressive rider
which I did. I also came second but
this gave me a great deal more pleasure
than coming second in the time trial
considering road racing is not my forte.
S: Not many people know that you
also went for the women’s hour
record too. Although you missed
the national record, you estab-
lished a new age record at 63 years
of age on Newport Velodrome on 5
November 2007 with 24.23mph.
How on earth do you sit on a bike
for an hour going round and
round a track and keep focus? C: It was very hard, in fact it was
awful. I developed cramp after half
an hour but we’d spent so much
money and so much preparation on
the record attempt together that I just
had to keep going even though it was
hurting so much. I was so disap-
pointed not to break 25mph but at
least I set an age record. No female
aged 63 had gone for the Hour record
before.
S: You’ve just ridden the NMHCA
100 on a rather wet, windy day.
How was it?
C: The weather was one of the worst
conditions I have had to cycle in. It
was absolutely awful as was my time
– 4 hrs 34 mins 07 secs, so I’ll
probably will have to ride another
one.
S: In your 30–odd years in the
sport, you’ve seen a lot of equip-
ment fads. Which are the most im-
portant for time trialling? C: Tribars absolutely. Then I’d rank
the rest as first disc wheels, then car-
bon fibre frames, having more gears,
helmets and having wind–tested hel-
mets.
S: What’s with the knee-length
socks you wear?
C: A guy in Kent, Kevin Tye, got
me onto these. Marathon runner
Paula Radcliffe uses them to help
stop cramps by helping blood flow
through the limbs. They’re just
compression socks.
S: Women’s health issues aren’t
discussed much in cycling. Hav-
ing raced pre and post-
menopausal, what changes do
you notice? C: Pre-the menopause I would feel
I could break competition record
the day before a period started and
at the other extreme feel rubbish
for 2-3 days after it finished. Now
I’m through the menopause I can’t
say it’s affected my times at all as
they’re as fast as they’ve ever
been. I don’t feel there are highs
and lows anymore.
S: You were in San Fairy Ann
CC for many years, tell us about
your new team?
C: Kent Cycles is a fairly new set-
up, run by two chaps who own the
bike shop and I’m the only woman,
which is fine for time trialling.
S: Do you do cross training? C: Yes, I believe gym work is ex-
tremely important and not just
through winter. I do gym work
twice a week in winter and weekly
the rest of the year. Too many cy-
clists believe they just need strong
legs. Start your gym session with
the Concept rowing machine for a
thorough warm-up, then switch to
free weights or the weight ma-
chines, whichever you’re happiest
with. If you need direction, ask the
gym instructors to give you a pro-
gram.
And stretching is so important too.
Women tend to be more flexible
than men but even we need to
stretch. I know I don’t do enough!
SEE MORE AT WWW.PLANET-X-BIKES.COM PAGE 21
...you're asking a lot of
questions Sue. If you’re not
careful this piece will end up
far too long for the
Ed...might even make four
pages. He won’t
like that!....
S: What sport would you do if you
didn’t time trial?
C: Squash. I was a serious squash
player, and I’ve done rowing and
hockey too. Squash is as anti-social
as timetrialling – squash matches
start at 8pm, five matches, stop for
some food, it’s 2-3am before you’re
driving home with work the next
day. After my first husband, also
named John, died, I begun to concen-
trate more on cycling. The two
sports are incompatible. They just
don’t mix because you use the mus-
cles in different ways so I gave up
squash. I may have time one day to
play golf?
S: At this time of year there is al-
ways pre-AGM discussion on
timetrialling’s future. What are
your thoughts on this? C: You remember the E72 in the
early 1980s was a race of two halves,
6.30-7.30 traffic-free and slow, 7.30-
8.30 traffic-assisted and fast. Chas-
ing fast dual carriageway courses is
expensive, can be dangerous and is
not open to everyone. I’m in Kent.
My nearest fast courses are Cam-
SEE MORE AT WWW.PLANET-X-BIKES.COM PAGE 22
bridge or Yorkshire, which means
petrol, food, overnight accommo-
dation. It makes the sport elit-
ist. Even if you do travel, these
courses are only fast on certain
days so you can end up chasing
around all summer, get each one
on a goddamn awful day, then you
think “I’ve had enough of that” so
you miss the next one and that’s
the float event.
We’ll lose more dual carriageway
courses in the near future. The E2
can’t have long to go. Mixing cy-
clists and heavy traffic on dual car-
riageways isn’t the answer. Many
races are run on single carriageway
roads that can create even more
problems when traffic bunches up
behind a rider and no cars can
overtake because of the oncoming
vehicles. I think we have all been
in events like this. We have to
accept that we have got to live with
the motorist and their cars and they
are bigger and meaner than we are.
I wonder if you could rate the
courses as you do golf courses, by
par, in order that people who ride
on slower courses aren’t penalised
and stand as much chance of win-
ning a competition as those who
have easy access to fast courses?
S: Another thing I notice is most
riders are vets, even in the Na-
tional 25, just one junior girl en-
trant. Asking you as a mother,
how can we make the sport more
attractive to youngsters? C: Ask any parent “do you want
your 14/15 year old cycling on a
dual carriageway?” and the an-
swer’s going to be no. Sportives
are taking off and it’s strange to
me that you can have 3000 cyclists
all over the road all day long and
yet there are great restrictions re-
garding the running of a time trial.
Unfortunately the sport appears to
be run by a large proportion of vet-
erans because the younger cyclists
are generally only interested in
cycling rather than helping to put
something back in to the sport. This may be because
they feel intimidated by the vast experience that has
been accumulated by those who run the sport and they
are hesitant to put their views forward. Many com-
ments are made regarding decisions made, but young
cyclists have to come forward to continue the
sport. Most timekeepers are 55+ as are marshals and
event organisers. Road racing is probably not as bad
but even there some officials are in to there 60s and
70s. Even I at 65 can see that if you want the sport to
continue then you’ve got to examine it and make it bet-
ter. The younger fraternity must come forward with
new ideas and those who run the sport must embrace
these.
To me it still seems that time trialling is a secret soci-
ety, out for a 5am/6am start and back before breakfast.
Just needs the black alpaca to be brought back!
S: Do you remember the first time you ever got un-
der the hour?
C: A late-season 25 on the E72 the day after a Saturday
track training session at Herne Hill. I did a 59.
S: What were your aims at the start of 2009?
C: To ride the National 100 which I didn’t and go to the
Worlds which I can’t, so I’ve readjusted to aiming for a
reasonable finish in the BAR. My times so far are 56.30,
2.02.07 and 4.33.17. I’d like to improve the 100 and there
are some reasonable 50s left. The BBAR is really a lot-
tery but then it always has been so – back in the late
1970s/early 80s, the Yorkshire courses were the fastest,
nothing else compared except perhaps the E72.
S: Who’s your cycling heroes?
C: Men it has to be Eddy Merckx. Women, it’s Beryl
Burton. She was always pleasant and ready to pass on
information to me. She did all her fantastic rides with
standard equipment, nothing fancy, even holding the
men’s 12–hour record above the men’s results. She was
phenomenal.
S: Well I reckon Carole’s pretty phenomenal too, es-
pecially for a 65 year old. I’ll let her coach have the
last word, taken from his website: “Carole is truly
amazing … she wants it still … and she proves it week
after week after week.”
SEE MORE AT WWW.PLANET-X-BIKES.COM PAGE 23
Ian Cammish’s 3-31-53 “100” must rate as
one of the best time trials of all time. I
certainly can’t see any of today’s stars
getting anywhere near that without
all their aero gizmos.
WHO’S NOT HOT THIS MONTH IN THE
WORLD OF DOMESTIC TIME TRIAL-
LING:
Hutch - who hasn’t won a single National Champi-
onship for at least a fortnight.
The Company that said they’d let us play in their
wind-tunnel and appear to have changed their minds.
All those that have promised something for Testing
Times and have still got to deliver (you know who
you are!).
The provider of decent days for fast time trialling -
we’re still waiting! Seems like last season we were
spoiled.
All those dick-heads seen driving up and down the
A1 early on Sunday mornings on their mobiles show-
ing total disregard to other road users. (Does that pith
anyone else off?)
If neither Campag or Shimano floats your boat and SRAM’s
your thing (for bling)…..have a look here http://www.planet-x-warehouse.co.uk/?p=5346
I always thought cyclists had good appetites but
Chinese tourists in France take the biscuit (or should I
say baguette?). During a recent dirty weekend visit to
Paris with the Mrs I was fortunate enough to witness a
monumental miracle of gastronomic expertise one
morning as we set down for breakfast. At either end of
the restaurant were two groups of Chinese tourists.
Rather than involve themselves in discreet conversa-
tions amongst their respective groups one pair were
heavily involved in a heated conversation across the
restaurant….completely oblivious of the other less
animated (and therefore most probably British!) din-
ers.
Not being able to understand what they were saying was
one thing (just being inquisitive...that’s all) but being
drowned in showers of croissants and baguettes as they
tried to multi-task (eating and talking) was another!
What I found most remarkable was the amount of food
one of the good ladies was managing to ram in her mouth
while continuing to talk. A quick glance over my shoulder
(in typical British fashion of course!) and I was flabber-
gasted to see she’d managed to ease a whole one of those
little French breakfast rolls into her mouth...sideways…
mid-sentence ... without pause! If I hadn’t seen it for my-
self I wouldn’t have believed it.
Rewind some 20 years or so….
...respected cycling journalist and photographer Bernard
Thompson once said he’d witnessed me eating a sponge
during one of my 12 hour epics.
Unfortunately, photographic evidence is not readily avail-
able to verify the genuineness of either the size of the Chi-
nese tourist’s mouth or my claim to have found something
only marginally more palatable than SIS blackcurrant fla-
voured gels (did I ever tell you how nice PowerBar’s va-
nilla ones are? One of Cammish’s top 5 Innovations - see
January’s issue of Testing Times. Yummy!).
However, friend and colleague Sarah Brooke
(photographer extraordinaire) recently sent me Planet X’s
“starter for ten” in another Competition For All-Comers
With No Prizes (we’re good at them!) - “How much can
you ram in yer gob in one go?”
First up….Dave Kendall (Finsbury Park CC) seen
(above) sucking what is believed to be a Marks and
Sparks “serves six sausage roll”. Word has it that John
“Nugget” Golder was seen passing the same vantage
point trying to down a Cucumber Bloomer in one go
(sideways)...unfortunately Sarah was unable to change
to a wide-angle lens in time to capture the moment. If
anyone has anything that they think beats Kendall’s (or
“Nugget’s claimed) exploits, of course, we’d like to hear
about it.
SEE MORE AT WWW.PLANET-X-BIKES.COM PAGE 24
This month’s special challenge….
how many sausage rolls / baguettes / (name
your favourite food here) can you ram in yer
gob in one go? asks Ian Cammish
SEE MORE AT WWW.PLANET-X-BIKES.COM PAGE 25
As I sit here and look around me, at
all these strange people that
surround me, I realise that I am -
NOT DREAMING!! (with apolo-
gies to Tom, another great Welsh-
man).
What’s going on? I find my-
self sitting on a 1980’s TT bike, at
the bottom of a slip-road leading to a
dual-carriageway, being held up by
man I don’t know and with a time-
keeper intoning “20 seconds to
go”! I thought I’d finished with all
this over 20 years ago!
“10 seconds” he says.
“5, 4, 3, 2, 1, GO” he says.
And with the faintest acknowledge-
ment of a push (and no rocking on
the countdown) I launch (!) myself
up the road and into 25 miles of
unknown (or rather forgotten) terri-
tory.
The blame can laid squarely a Moun-
tain Bike Ride. This isn’t the normal
thing for a Tester to admit to but it’s
the truth. Since the mid 90’s I’d
hardly ridden a bike but last year
I found Retrobike.co.uk and discov-
ered that the festering old bikes I had
in the shed were actually desirable
classics and I could ride them with-
out shame whilst in the company of
like minded consenting adults. As
there was a Retrobike ride organised
in September in the Peak district I
thought it might be a laugh (!) to go
along so I cleaned up my old Scott
T eam P ro and wen t . A l l
I remember is that the ride was all
uphill. I know that is a physical im-
possibility (what goes up must come
down etc. etc.) but my state of total
unfitness, it was true. After 15 miles
of hills, mud, hills, bumps, hills,
rocks and more hills (taking over 3
hours) I arrived at Edale café com-
pletely knackered and, after a bite to
eat, apologised and took the
road route back to Hope while the
rest went off for a further 3 hours
o f s e l f - a b u s e i n
the hills. I drove home and slept
for 3 days.
I was totally embarrassed by my
utter unfitness and became deter-
mined to get fitter for the next
Retrobike meet in January. I dug
m y o l d w i n t e r b i k e
(another Retrobike classic!) from
the back of the shed, cleaned and
lubed it and started a gentle pro-
gramme of short road rides to get
myself back to some sort of
‘form’. October and November
passed and I happily discovered I
was starting to feel fitter with a not
undesirable side effect – the cloth-
ing that in September would not
fit, now would, albeit with an
amount of stretch. This was pro-
gress. Improvement continued,
hills became easier, more old jer-
seys fitted, the scales didn’t groan
so much in the mornings and by
early December I felt a lot more
confident in my abilities.
I then made another discovery -
Retrobike.co.uk is affiliated to
both BC and CTT. I had never
even vaguely consider racing again
but then, on the CTT website that I
occasionally visited, I saw there
was a ‘Christmas 10’ on the list not
to far away. My thoughts began to
wander – could I ride 10 miles
non-stop on an old classic
bike? would I thoroughly embar-
rass myself again? “What the
heck” I thought, “ I’ve nothing to
prove, why not, it’s Christmas after
all, nobody will take it seriously,
it’ll be a laugh.” It was around this
time that our esteemed Editor an-
nounced the Planet X Old Skool
series. This was the catalyst that
w a s n e e d e d . No r e a -
son be embarrassed by an old bike
Why (am I doing this) !? Why indeed? A very good
question...and one which for-
mer superstar time trialist
Paul Gittins (PMP / Blue-
mels / Benelux / Chater Lea /
Lion GT 30 / Fiamme) asked
himself. Planet X’s Old
Skool Series prompted Paul
in to making a “comeback”.
He tells us here how he
eased himself back in to top
flight competition.
1968 Champs ‘50’ on the Bath
Road, turning into Pangbourne
Lane. 2-0-46
– I could legitimately ‘Old Skool’
it and be fashionable.
So I sent an entry again secretly
hoping there’d be a full field and I
wouldn’t get in – but I did.
So I rode it, over 20 years after I’d
sworn I would never do it again.
On the day it poured down, over
half the field didn’t start. 20 years
ago I would have joined them but
this was now, so I did – and fin-
ished with the slowest time of the
day on my 35 year old bike.
But I claimed a moral victory over
those who didn’t – and, much to my
amazement, I thoroughly enjoyed it
and had set myself a yardstick for if
I decided to ‘have a go’ next year,
thinking that it was a ‘one-off’ and
wouldn’t be repeated.
Looking up the road, legs and lungs
burning, already been caught by my
minute man after less than 3 miles.
Where’s the turn?? It must be
soon! 25’s were never this long
when I was a lad, were they??
Ah, a marshal in a hi-vi vest, here it
is, 35 minutes, not to bad for a first
25 on a hard day.
Back onto the DC, wind in my
face, now on my right side, now on
my left side. Why isn’t it on my
back!!?? It was like this going the
other way!!
Almighty rumble in right ear,
caught for 11 minutes by someone
with a pointy helmet and disk
wheel, never see me with anything
like that! A pair of Record 28’s and
GP 4’s is all you need.
Through January and February the
rides continued – even on wet and
windy days. Being retired meant I
could get out when I wanted, a lot
better than before when I was stuck
with ‘after work’. I bought myself a
Turbo Trainer – for the very wet
and windy days. Weight kept com-
ing off, nearly 2 stone gone now –
and the CTT website published the
2009 calendar. In an idle moment,
looking up ‘10’s Yorkshire’ I found
a few and thought – ‘I’m fitter now
than at Christmas, perhaps I could
beat my time. Oh look, there’s one
at the end of February.’
So I sent an entry, secretly hoping
there’d be a full field and I wouldn’t
get in – but I did.
So I rode it, over 20 years after I’d
sworn I would never do it again.
On the day it was a bit windy – but
not wet – and I beat my Christmas
time by 2 minutes – and thoroughly
enjoyed it, riding my 35 year old
bike again. And I wasn’t slowest
this time.
Several local 10’s have followed
with s teady improvements ,
now 6 minutes faster than my
Christmas 10 and no pointy helmet
or disk wheels.
So I thought I’d ‘have a go’ at a 25
(which is 2 ½ times further than a
10, non-stop for over an hour) and
found one in July.
So I sent an entry, secretly hoping
there’d be a full field and I wouldn’t
get in – but I did.
So I rode it, over 20 years after I’d
sworn I would never do it again.
Oh my God, look at the time, over
an hour gone. 25 years ago I’d
have finished by now. I’m begin-
ning to regret doing this!
Another loud rumble in my right
ear, someone else with pointy hel-
met and disk wheel, disappearing
up the road. At least I’ve got an
excuse – sorry a REASON – ‘cos
I’m riding Old Skool.
That road sign looks familiar,
there’s a marshall, he’s pointing to
the left, must be the finish!
There’s the chequered flag. Look
at the watch, big sprint, must get
into single figures, inside a 1-10!
Done it!! A 1-9-38. Not the slow-
est ride I’ve ever done – but not far
off. Musn’t grumble, at least I’ve
finished. Bet I could beat that on
a better day, when’s the next one?
So here I am, at the time of writing
with a ‘10’ time just a minute short
of my lifetime PB and a ’25’ time
a massive 12:30 outside my life-
time PB. So what!? It’s like start-
ing from scratch all over
again. I’ll never be able to repeat
what I achieved half a lifetime ago
so I can approach it all from a
completely different perspective,
do it Old Skool when I want and,
above all – enjoy it!
Mind you, those pointy helmets
and disk wheels etc. do seem to
work. I could beat some people
easily 25 years ago, now they’re
beating me – with all their ‘triple
action muscle booster you can’t
bend it’ aero gizmos.. Where’s
that next jumble, perhaps someone
will be selling up their old TT gear
…………………….
(Pop round to Cammish’s gaff
Paul - he doesn’t throw anything
away. Sure he’ll be able to help
you out!).
SEE MORE AT WWW.PLANET-X-BIKES.COM PAGE 26
SEE MORE AT WWW.PLANET-X-BIKES.COM PAGE 27
CLASSIC BLASTS FROM THE PAST……..
Cold, wet and exhausted on his unsuccessful End-to-End attempt in 1954, Joy gets a shout from Eileen
Sheridan.
Ken Joy was the great post-war time trial champion, the first rider since Frank Southall to take four suc-
cessive BAR titles, from 1949 to 1952. He then broke many of the RRA records that Southall had set.
This picture is just one of a much larger group that will be published later this year in a joint collection
called “Southall and Joy: Two Cycling Legends”. Peter Whitfield has a hand in it so it promises to be
good! Watch out for it.
Thanks to the Norwood Paragon archive and Alan Bristow.
SEE MORE AT WWW.PLANET-X-BIKES.COM PAGE 28
That wonderfully exotic luxurious
feel of shiny PVC/Latex which,
when worn, shows off every single
area of your figure, can now be ex-
perienced by cyclists everywhere.
This stuff loves to be worn tight and
figure hugging. It also attracts atten-
tion to the wearer when striding into
a room, walking down a street or
popping into the bedroom. It makes
people’s heads turn as they spy
bulges growing in certain areas of
the human body – yes, this material
takes on a dominating role. PVC/
Latex can now be seen in many
sports such as bobsleigh, luge, speed
skating, speed skiing, swimming,
water skiing, water sports (wink) and
our own cycling track events.
Even us Testers are in on the act
with a PVC/Spandex mix suits which
can be used for that short TT as these
things get really hot under physical
or anaerobic workouts which can
include the nocturnal activity type
when your partner is fully kitted out
in PVC The stuff slides through the
air, can be polished to a shimmer and
feels beautiful when worn next to the
skin.
Technical Engineering Data –
Trial Tests Scientists & Technical Engineers
have burned midnight oil & worked
excessively long hours over the vari-
ous formulas and algebraic calcula-
tions on the co-efficient drag factors
of this super material, even when
sprayed with silicone, to prove it is
the material to be worn for that fast 10-mile time trial. During trials in
the late 90’s it was seen that this ma-
terial achieved times of less than 17
minutes in wind tunnel conditions
with a temperature of 21.75 degs &
rich oxygenated air to ensure the
proper breathing requirements of the
garment for optimum performance.
Three different colours were also
chosen to see if this had an effect on
the the airflow. Other ambient tem-
perature tests were taken along with
air pressures to simulate normal road
conditions. The technical results
found that black came out on top as
the temperature, even at a consistent
21 degrees, made the suit cling
tighter to the body. This ensured an
all-over constricting fit. White fared
badly due to the manmade dye char-
acteristics relaxing the elasticity of
the fibratic fibres of the material
hence slower times by some 2-3 sec-
onds were recorded over the 10 mile
test. Red was also used & although
better than white also had fibre elas-
ticity problems and was a close sec-
ond, records show it was exactly
0.925 seconds slower that the natural
black.
10 Mile Wind Tunnel Test
M S 1/100th
Black Shiny PVC/Latex Suit
16. 54. 210
Red Shiny PVC/Latex Suit
16. 55. 135
White Shiny PVC/Latex Suit
16. 57. 744
Make up of the suit includes seam-
less sections carefully bonded to-
gether with a special epoxy resin. It
completely covers the human body,
except the face; a top elite cyclist
was chosen for these trials to ensure
good times were achieved & one
who liked wearing this material next
to the skin to ensure total relaxation
& focus on the times that were
achieved.
Feedback on the garment used by
the subject were that second skin
feeling, along with a cool dominating
feel as one glared around the tunnel
before & after the test. The reproduc-
ing apparatus was unharmed unlike
with normal Lycra suits/shorts with
chamois where you get that numbing
effect & your weapon seems so small
after a long ride or race. The sub-
ject’s wife was in awe of the suit &
her husband, whose third leg was
standing proud and ready for action.
This is an added bonus to the sport-
ing effectiveness of the suit and it is
expected that many future time trial-
lists will be forking out lost of well-
earned money to get their hands on
these suits when they are released on
Nob Off….the back.
The black shiny stuff … can win
Championships!
Ok so it’s red….but you get
the drift?
SEE MORE AT WWW.PLANET-X-BIKES.COM PAGE 29
the market.
A PVC/Latex dimpled suit was also
being worked on whilst the trials
were on-going but no data was avail-
a b l e t o hand du r ing t h i s
time However similar to the golf
ball or the dimples on the new Zipp
wheel sets, this may be the way to
go.
So time trialing athletes seeking the
best in PVC/Latex wear need to go
with the colour black to ensure they
gain the best advantage they can as
this can be the difference between a
medal & missing out. It will also
help performance on another level
with the girlfriend or the spouse dur-
ing the long nocturnal evenings of an
English Winter.
For the Connoisseurs amongst you
this stuff can be seen lurking in its
many scintillating guises at http://
www.timetriallingforum.co.uk/ then
go to the Non-Cycling Section &
look for Cadbury Dairy Milk advert
and PVC appreciation thread. So
whether you’re a hobbyist or a con-
noisseur there is something there for
all.
Caring for your prized PVC attire
Hand wash in warm water with a
small amount of detergent (use liquid
rather than soap flakes, as they can
stick to the PVC). Wash inside &
outside of the garment. Rinse thor-
oughly in cool water until all soap
has been removed. Hang to drip-dry
inside out. When the inside is dry,
turn right way round & allow PVC
side to dry.
Shining - this bit will really set the
g a r m e n t a l i v e .
Polish with silicone spray, or for a
squeaky-free wear you can wipe
down the outer surface of your PVC
clothes with a light layer of silicone-
based lube. This can save those pre-
cious 1/100ths or prolong activity in
the bedroom.
Good Hunting & this wonderfully con-
ceived material can win you a champi-
onship or your hearts desire what ever
goal it is you set for yourself.
Sir Nob of Two Ghiblis
Treat your black shiny stuff
with care. (Excuse the blur …
photographer got camera
shake!)
NEXT ISSUE: (if the
mood takes us!):
Time Trialling’s top three smelliest
Testers
Peter Whitfield tracks down another
time trial Legend
More Gambling
Frankly Franklin (if he can be both-
ered)
Suechoccy and her lady friends
That nice Mr Kish
The Old Skool Series continues with:
Seamons 25
Team Sanjan 10
Unsung heroes (but only if you let us
know who they are)
How much can you ram in yer gob?
(That’s YOU...or someone you know
ok? Pics please to……)
Competitions
This
That
The other (nothing like a bit of the
other eh?)
Gossip...and if we don’t hear any
we’ll make it up
Who’s Hot…..and Who’s Not
Special guest appearances of
contributors staking their claim to
fifteen minutes of fame
Bit of pith-taking (maybe)
Now Nob Off