The Stanwix Directory : July 2009

What’s Inside...

Police message

Local issues discussed

Local business list

Useful numbers

Bus Times

Who’s Who locally

Cover photo:

Maize maze at Hayclose just outsideCarlisle - ring 01768 885488(last years pattern)

page 16 Please mention Stanwix Directory when responding to advertsPublished by AQA Magazines · Typeset and printed by QIC Print (Cumbria) Ltd,Unit 4 Brunel Way, Durranhill Ind Est, Carlisle CA1 3NQ · Tel: 513 513

Summer 2009 · Distributed Free to most homes north of the river Eden

ROLAND LAWSONPROFESSIONAL DRIVING INSTRUCTOR

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Stanwix July09.qxd 9/8/09 21:16

Please mention Stanwix Directory when responding to adverts To advertise please call 595984 or [email protected] page 15

Local IndexListing here is for regular advertisers (free) as well as for businessestrading in this area; a single line entry is only £2 per issue; a secondline (maximum number) is a further £1. Paid annually in advance; thenearest relevant heading should be used. Feature any mix of your adpage, phone, web or email contact details.

Bridal WearCountry Dreams Tel: 539500 page 16

Building & PlanningSimon Bond Tel: 596486 page 7

ChildcareStone Eden Nurseries Tel:599400 page 1

Cotton Baby: Easy Nappies page 7

Computer RepairsPC Fixer Tel:07984 441 329 page 14

Community CentreKingmoor Tel: 607533 page 11

Cleaning ServicesEmpire Cleaning page 2

Driving InstructorRoland Lawson 0783 495 9773 page 16

FinancialFinancial Concepts Tel: 597986 page 11

FloristFlower Time, Stanwix Tel 523600

Funeral ServicesCumbria Memorials page 2

Garden BuildingsA1 Lap Fencing Tel: 674140 page 6

GardeningBoertein Gardening page 3

Hair & BeautyTopaz Tel: 07850 491527 page 6

JewelleryPeter Fletcher page 16

Home ImprovementsTrade Windows page 9

Simon Bond Tel: 596486 page 10Fireplace For You Tel: 597945 page 14

Kitchen Living page 16

LadieswearHigh Society Tel: 792880 page 8

MarketingQIC Print Tel: 513 513 page 12

Opticians & SpectaclesDolores Tel: 409404 page 7

RTU Optical Open to the publicTel: 593300 www.rtuoptical.com

PetsArmstrong Cattery page 14

Piano TuitionAndrew Plant page 12

PlumbingDavid Howe Tel: 526338 page 2

PrintingQIC Print Tel: 513 513 page 12

PropertyBulman Tel: 597756 page 7

Northwood Tel: 534000 page 14

Public HousesRedfern Tel: 631144 page 1

RestaurantsBotchergate Tandoori 546953 page 10

Fantails Tel: 560239 page 16

The Conservatory Tel: 561888 page 10

TelevisionM R Installations Tel: 529419 page 3

TowbarsTowbars2U.com 07825 516301 page 10

Useful DialsCarlisle City Council 01228 817000

Childline 0800 1111

Child Protect (NSPCC) 0808 800 5000

Crime Stoppers 0800 555 111

Cruse Bereavement Care 0870 1671677

Cuedoc 01228 401999

Cumberland Infirmary 01228 523444

Drugs Helpline 0800 776600

Electric Emergencies (United Utilities)0800 195 4141

Environment Agency 0800 807 060

Gas Emergencies 0800 111 999

Highways & Potholes 0845 609 6609

Library renewals 607310

Police HQ 0845 33 00 247

Recycle White Goods 817200

Refuse Disposal 606708

RSPCA Cruelty Reporting 0870 5555 999

Train Times 08457 48 49 50

Traveline 0871 200 22 33

DearNeighboursTHE GREEK GODDESS of spring

may be leaving us on a warm sum-mer wind, but it is a warmth whichmay well lead to many of our thoughtsturning to a holiday or time off schoolor work.

These thoughts and this month’s poetictheme lead me to the words of JamesDent who said “A perfect summer day iswhen the sun is shining, the breeze isblowing, the birds are singing, and thelawn mower is broken”.

Echoing this sentiment I hope thisissue finds you in the garden, withnothing other to do than take five min-utes to yourself and enjoy this monthsedition.

With the usual great financial andfashion features and fantastic competi-tions sit back, enjoy the sun and maybeeven try to spot some of our local wild-flowers in your own garden (see page 12)

Until next time….Best wishes

We will endeavour to include as much of yourrelevant donated editorial as possible, butreserve the right to omit or edit as spacerequires; generally we will send a proof beforepublishing.Any views expressed are not necessarilyshared by the publishers.

The Stanwix Directorycan be used for your:

ADVERTORIALS

INSERTED FLYERS

DISPLAY ADVERTISING

SIMPLE INDEX LISTING

‘WHO’S WHO’ ARTICLE

EDITORIAL

Ring Emma on0797 27 189 31

David Howe

plumbing and heatingFree planning and design service

Complete bathroom installations

All shower systems and enclosures

Shower panelling or tiling

t: (01228) 526338m: 07881 404 194

88 Yewdale Rd, Carlisle CA2 7SP

Balfour Beatty will undertake thedesign and construction of the newroad and also provide the whole lifeoperation and maintenance services.Balfour Beatty will invest approxi-mately £11 million of equity in theproject.Construction will start on the northernsection of the road itself, known as theCarlisle Northern Development Route(CNDR), in October. The whole CNDRwill be open April 2012, and completeby 2013.

Carlisle NorthernDevelopmentUpdateOctober 19th is the date it is all suppos-edly about to happen, at long last workwill begin as after many twists andturns, the contract between BalfourBeatty and the County Council wassigned.

Balfour Beatty, the international engi-neering, construction, services andinvestment Group, announced that itswholly-owned subsidiary, ConnectCNDR, has reached financial close forthe £176 million Carlisle NorthernDevelopment Route (CNDR) publicprivate partnership (PPP) concessioncontract for Cumbria County Council.Commenting, Balfour Beatty ChiefExecutive, Ian Tyler, said:“We are delighted to have reachedfinancial close on the CNDR contract.This is an important piece of infra-structure which will take traffic awayfrom Carlisle city centre and improvetransport links between West Cumbria,Scotland and the North East ofEngland”

The CNDR contract is a 30-year con-cession during which time ConnectCNDR will be responsible for thedesign and construction of an 8.25kmtwo-way single carriageway road fromthe M6 Junction 44 to the A595 south-west of Carlisle and the management,operation and ongoing investment inapproximately 150km of other existingroads in Cumbria.

Quotes“Not all those who wander are lost”.

- J R R Tolkien

“A journey of a thousand milesmust begin with a single step”

- Lao-Tsu

“Who is wise? He that learnsfrom everyone. Who is powerful?

He that governs his passions.Who is rich? He that is content.

Who is that? Nobody.”- Benjamin Franklin

“Only put off until tomorrowwhat you are willing to die

having left undone”- Pablo Picasso

“The meek shall inherit the earth”- Jesus Christ

“Everything you can imagineis real”

- Pablo Picasso

“The talent for being happyis appreciating and likingwhat you have, instead of

what you don't have.”- Woody Allen

“When you want to test thedepths of a stream, don't use

both feet.”- Chinese proverb

“Do not remove a fly fromyour friend's forehead with

a hatchet.”- Chinese proverb

“Experience is a comb whichnature gives to men when

they are bald.”- Chinese proverb

“A fool’s bolt may sometimeshit the mark.”

- Proverb

“Peace is the masterpiece of reason.”- J Muller

“People throw stones only at treeswhich have fruit on them.”

- Proverb

“People who never have timeare those who do least.”

- Lichtenberg

“That is not possible whichis impossible.”- Hitopadesa

PostScript Picture

Layout 1 (Page 1)

Stanwix July09old.qxd 9/8/09 21:14


29 Myddleton St, Carlisle CA1 [email protected] www.mrinstallations.co.uk

Digital TVTel: 07756 254012 (Maurice Ridley)

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FinanceBy Darren Turnbull CFP,DMS,MCIBS Certified Financial Planner

01228 597986

[email protected]

http://www.financialconcepts.co.uk

Will you havethe funds toenjoy yourretirement?Due to increases in life expectancy anda decline in birth rates since the "babyboomer" generation were born we con-tinue to live in an aging society. In2007 the number of Britons aged 65and over exceeded the number under16 for the first time.*

Graph source: Government ActuariesDepartment 2004, Population Projections.ONS 2006, Population Trends

The generation of people nowapproaching retirement have a com-pletely different attitude and approachto life than the generations beforethem. They are comfortable with theidea of servicing debt throughout theirworking life and are used to havingluxuries that their parents onlydreamed of.

This generation has also been affectedby the well-documented problems suf-fered by pension schemes.

Equity release will be a focal part offinancial planning for this generation,whether to maintain the lifestyle theywere accustomed to before retirementor to help them manage their debts andincome shortfalls.

What is equity release?Put simply equity release allows you torelease tax-free cash from your hometo boost your finances in retirement,without the need to move.

There are three different types ofequity release products:

1. Lifetime MortgageA lifetime mortgage is a form of equi-ty release scheme where a loan issecured against your property to pro-vide you with a tax free cash lumpsum or a regular income to spend asyou wish, typically with no monthlyrepayments to meet.

The loan plus interest is eventuallypaid back when the home is sold,when you move into long term care,or when you and your partner die.

2. Home Reversion

With a home reversion plan you sellpart or your entire home to a rever-sion plan company in exchange for atax-free cash lump sum and a guaran-teed lifetime lease with no monthlyrepayments to meet.

3. Drawdown LifetimeMortgage

A drawdown lifetime mortgagehas the same advantages anddisadvantages as a lifetimemortgage with the main differ-ence being you don't request thefull sum of money available to

you immediately. Instead, you decideon a maximum amount of equity youwant to release and 'drawdown' thecash in stages when you need it.

Equity release is a huge financialcommitment and therefore it is vitalthat you are protected. We only rec-ommend SHIP (Safe HomeIncome Plan) approved equityrelease plans, which come with astandard set of safety guaranteeswhich include:

• The right to remain in your homefor as long as you choose

• The freedom to move to anotherproperty without financial penalty(subject to lenders' criteria)

• That you will receive a cash lumpsum or a regular income

• That you will never fall into nega-tive equity no matter what hap-pens to house prices in the future

"By the end of 2010, theInstitute of Actuaries forecastthat the equity release market

will reach £2 billion"†Sources: † Institute of Actuaries, Equity Releasereport 2005.

What's driving the equity releasemarket?• Ageing population is increasing the

target market • Life expectancy will continue to rise • Longer retirement places mounting

strain on finances • For many, the attempt to close the

savings gap is too little, too late • Erosion of state benefits • Decrease in employer’s

contributions • House price rises have increased

wealth held in property • Changing attitudes towards

property • Growth in product providers and

press coverage

Using the assets built up in property isa viable way of both putting your house-hold finances on an even keel andreleasing funds for essential homemaintenance, to boost day to dayincome or for more pleasurable pur-chases such as holidays or new cars.

J B o e r t i e n G a r d e n M a i n t e n a n c e

For all your garden maintenance needs including painting and pressure washing.

Please call for a quoteH 01228 527303M 07817332128







NeighbourhoodPolice AlertTHIS MONTH we thought we would

provide a little guide to protectingyour property.

Opportunist thefts are somethingeveryone has to be wary of and whetherits push bikes, toys, general gardenequipment, an insecure window orshed door we all have to be prepared.

CRIME PREVENTION TIPSFOR VEHICLES

• Remove the stereo if you can

• Lock the doors and close the windows and sun roof when you leave the car- for any length oftime.

• Do not leave anything on display- even a jacket can seem like an appealing target for a thief.

CRIME PREVENTION TIPSFOR BICYCLES/GARDENEQUIPMENT

• Always lock your

bike, even if you are leaving it for acouple of minutes.

• Never leave it unattended.

• Get a good bike lock.

• Think about having your bike/Garden equipment security marked or engraved.

Remember the saying! OUT OF SIGHTOUT OF MIND

Many people take a great deal of trou-ble securing their home, please remem-ber your garden shed has valuableitems too!



Bus Times Whilst every effort is made to check that thesetimes are accurate at print time, we cannotaccept responsibility for errors or laterchanges.

Fred said toSteve..

“You’re looking a bit

fed up today Steve,

what’s wrong?”

“ I had a row with the

mother in law and

she swore she wouldn’t

talk to me for a month.”

“That’s not so bad Steve”.

“Yes it is, that was four

weeks ago!”

An old man...had serious hearing problems for

a number of years. He went to the

doctor and the doctor was able to

give him a set of hearing aids that

allowed the man to hear 100%.

The elderly man went back in a

month to the doctor and the doctor

said, “Your hearing is perfect. Your

family must be really pleased that

you can hear again.”

The old man replied, “Oh I haven’t

told my family yet; I just sit around

and listen

to the con-

versations.

I’ve

changed

my will

three

times!”

You SillyMooAFTER A FEW weeks teetering on the

edge of total economic and financialmeltdown it seems economic systems andtheir workings have pushed their way intothe need-to-know category.

Well, we can now simplify this all byexplaining 21 economic models with cows.

It is remarkable how much sense it allmakes from this real world perspective!

SOCIALISM. You have 2 cows. You giveone to your'neighbour.

COMMUNISM. You have 2 cows. TheState takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM. You have 2 cows. The Statetakes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM. You have 2 cows. The Statetakes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM. You have 2 cows. TheState takes both, shoots one, milks theother, and then throws the milk away

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM. You havetwo cows. You sell one and buy a bull.Your herd multiplies, and the economygrows. You sell them and retire on theincome.

SURREALISM. You have two giraffes. Thegovernment requires you take care har-monica lessons.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION. Youhave two cows. You sell one, and force theother to produce the milk of four cows.Later, you hire a consultant to analysewhy the cow has dropped dead.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM. Youhave two cows. You sell three of them toyour publicly listed company, using letterscredit opened by your brother-in-law atthe bank, then execute a debt/equity swapwith an associated general offer so thatyou get all four cows back, with a taxexemption for five cows. The milk rightsof the six cows are transferred to aCayman Island Company secretly ownedby the majority shareholder who sells therights to all seven cows back to your listedcompany. The annual report says thecompany owns eight cows, with an optionon one more. You sell one cow to buy anew president of the United States, leav-ing you with nine cows. No balance sheetprovided with the release. The public thenbuys your bull.

A FRENCH CORPORATION. You havetwo cows. You go on strike, organise ariot, and block the roads, because youwant three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION. You havetwo cows. You redesign them so they areone-tenth the size of an ordinary cow andproduce twenty times the milk. You thencreate a clever cow cartoon image called'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION. You havetwo cows. You re-engineer them so theylive for 100 years, eat once a month, andmilk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION. You havetwo cows, but you dont know where theyare. You decide to have coffee.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION. You havetwo cows. You count them and learn youhave five cows. You count them again andlearnyou have 42 cows. You count themagain and learn you have 2 cows. You stopcounting cows and open another bottle ofvodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION. You have5000 cows. None of them belong to you.You charge the owners for storing them.

CHINESE CORPORATION. You have twocows. You have 300 people milking them.You claim that you have full employment,and high bovine productivity. You arrestthe newsman who reported the real situa-tion.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION. You havetwo cows. You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION. You havetwo cows. Both are mad.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION. Youhave two cows. Business seems prettygood. You close the office and go for a fewbeers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION. Youhave two cows. The one on the left looksvery attractive.



GardeningYou can send in an article and photo of any gardening topic youthink would be of local interest: [email protected]

Why conserveWild Plants?After our well received article onBumblebees last month we thought wewould continue the theme with a littleinsight on how our wild flowers are far-ing across the countryside.

Conserving wild plants in their natu-ral habitats is about

more than plants, wildlifeand ecosystems – it isabout people and our needfor food, medicines, freshair and water, shelter, anda clean and healthy envi-ronment in which to live.Two thirds of the ‘services’provided by nature tomankind are now in declineworldwide, and the abilityof the planet’s ecosystemsto sustain future genera-tions can no longer betaken for granted.

The native wild flowers ofour countryside are cham-pioned by the NationalCharity Plantlife who takeunder their care a total of101 species which alsoincludes vascular plants,stoneworts, mosses,lichens, fungi and even analgae. This year they areasking members of localcommunities like ours totake a 1km walk, whereverthey like, and record theflowers that they see usinga recording sheet whichcan be downloaded fromtheir website.

This survey is the only oneof its kind in the entire UKand provides an invaluableinsight into the state of ourfloral friends as well as giv-ing us the excuse to take alittle wander into our sur-rounding countryside.

You could walk along theRiver Eden and RickerbyPark, through the woods,over the fields or even

record what you see on your way towork or school. If you’re lucky enoughyou may even spot Grass-of-Parnassus (currently in flower now)(picture) the emblem wild flower forour County. This flower has the dis-tinction of appearing on the countyarms of Cumbria. The name is inher-ited from ancient Greece. Evidentlythe cattle on Mount Parnassus appre-ciated the plant; hence it was an ‘hon-orary grass'. With Saxifrage bluebells,yarrow and butterbur and the redclover on the local sports fields thereis a whole world of wild flowers to dis-cover.

Over the last centuryhuman activity has forcedan incalculable number ofspecies to the verge ofextinction. Current esti-mates put the rate of lossas high as one plant percounty every two years.Let’s hope some of theexamples which we havefeatured throughout thisarticle remain part of ourcommunity for many yearsto come.

The survey, which alsogives you a helpful guideto identifying wildflowersfinishes in October soplease make sure yours isreturned by the end ofSeptember at the latest.

Further details atwww.plantlife.org.uk

Top photo: Hawthorn -Spiny tree-shrub withbunches of flowers appear-ing after the bright greenleaves, which are deeplydivided. Deep red fruitwhich appears fromAugust.

Second photo from top:Grass of Parnassus

Lower 2 photos: Bluebell -Voted Britain’s most popularwild flower in a Plantlifepoll, the UK is the interna-tional stronghold for thenative Bluebell. In fact wehave between 25% and 50%of the world's population!

or a fragment of black bin liner caughtin barbed wire on the Solway coast,Cumbria is truly inspirational.Believing a sense of humour to be oneof life’s essentials it also finds itselfwinding its way into his words, no moreso than in “Phew!”, where the socks ofJohnny inspire the lines, “If they’d awhiff of Stilton cheese, At least they’dstand a chance to please, But skunksand dung hey, wait a minute, That’s justabout the utter limit”

With a strong inter-est in photographyand music, CarletonGrange is his cultur-al cornucopia of cre-ativity. Perhaps oneday when you walkhis way you may belucky enough tohear the music heplays, drifting downthe street. His work,like the piano musiche plays, is accessi-ble to all and full ofCumbrian heart.The passion is part

of its charm so long may the“Cumbrian’s Pen” continue to bring thethoughts of Howard Laws to paper.

Who’s WhoYou can send in an article and photo of any person living in themagazine distribution area; send to [email protected]

Local PoetHoward Laws

Howard is a native of Carlisle whohas spent most of his life in the

county. In his own words, “Born here,so many years ago, Nofairer place than this Iknow”. Obviouslyproud of his heritagehis latest collection ofpoems is entitled“Thoughts into wordsvia a Cumbrian’s Pen”.

Having spent a privi-leged hour or two lis-tening to his poetryand prose and havingread his works, his titlespeaks as much abouthis work as his worktells tales of histhoughts. His work (onthis page) “Stalwart City” echoes thissentiment. The spark of inspirationwhich triggered the poem happened inas simple a setting as being stuck at thetraffic lights. With nowhere to go hecast a glance at the Citadel, “SandstoneCitadel, fortress bold, It’s prominentposition holds”, the words tripped offthe tongue and the resultant versescame naturally as he progressedthrough the city he loves.

Maybe this natural flare and the trickof finding the right words at the mostunexpected of times is part of his her-itage. The son of a local Police Officer,he can trace his family tree back intime through his maternal grandmoth-er to that famous Cumbrian huntsman;John Peel.

Having stepped into the world of poet-ry some 25 years ago, as “Stalwart City”hints, most of his inspiration is takenfrom everyday experiences and theCumbrian Countryside which hedelights to explore. Whether the floodsof 2005, the Foot and Mouth Outbreak

Crossword Entry FormSunday Lunch at Fantails with a Bottle of WineComplete the crossword overleaf, fill in your details below, cut out this section

and send to Fantails July Crossword, 75 Cumwhinton Rd, Carlisle CA1 3JB

Closing Date Aug 30th

$

Name ............................................................

Tel: ................................................................

Address: ........................................................

......................................................................

......................................................................

Email: ............................................................

Stalwart CityGrand Carlisle, Border City strong,Local traditions brave and longThe site of many a stirring tale,O’erlooking Eden’s pleasant Vale.

Approaching from the southern side.Presents a fascinating ride, Proceeding then through Botchergate, A reconstruction scene, of late.

Towards Caeral Cross, still moving on,Which oft-times witnessed history born,Passing the station for the train Where travellers leave, then come again

Sandstone Citadel, fortress bold,Its prominent position holds,Entrance to city centre fairVia English Street, to Town Square.

Current buildings in concrete coldMerging with structures, centuries old,Ancient and modern side by side, Heart of a city, Cumbrian Pride.

Caldew and Eden flowing through,Cross Eden Bridge, Belah, Stanwix too,View both Cathedral and Castle fine, Surviving still, defying time.

Old stalwart Carlisle, ever new,Has residents so proud and true,With robust heart, it is alive, And will for centuries more, survive.

Creating history still, per se,Events occurring day by day,Its motto, firm, commends a lotTo all, “Be just and fear not”.

Howard Laws

incorporating


Telephone:513 [email protected]


High quality printing, both digital and traditional processesin-house.

Artwork for printing, adverts, internet, packaging

Colour copying and disk output.

Direct mail

Marketing solutions

Supporters of local business.

Easy Parking; loads of space bythe door.

Locally-owned; not a franchise.



The first time I see a jogger smiling,I’ll give it a try.

If it weren’t for the fact that the TV setand the fridge are so far apart, someof us wouldn’t get any exercise at all.

The only exercise some people get isjumping to conclusions, running downtheir friends, side-stepping responsi-

bility and pushing their luck.

The other day I was feeling that mybody has got completely out of shape.

So I got my doctor’s permission tojoin a fitness club and start exercising.

I had a look at all those machines inthe gym and decided to start with an

aerobics class for seniors. I bent,twisted, gyrated, jumped up and

down, and perspired for about anhour. But by the time I got myleotards on, the class was over.

In this way, regular consumption of beereliminates the weaker brain cells, makingthe brain a faster and more efficientmachine.

And that, Norm is why you always feelsmarter after a few beers.”

Keeping Fit!

Cheers!? Bottoms Up?

2 Cecil Street Carlisle Cumbria CA1 1 NL

07850 491527Email [email protected]

%

Sunday Lunch at Fantailswith a Bottle of Wine (for 2)

Prize CrosswordSponsored by Fantails, Wetheral Fill in your details on the form overleaf and send in your completed entry for yet another chance to win a . . .

ACROSS 1 Neither good nor bad (2-2) 3 Monster (4)6 Indicate (5)10 Loud (5)11 Assembles (5) 12 Sphere (3)13 Farm female (3)14 Type of tea (6)15 Colouring material (3) 18 Gift item (7)19 Decrease (7)21 Airport sight (7)23 Old pen need (7)24 Soggy (3)26 Royal family member (6)27 Parent (3)31 Charlottes Porky Friend (3)32 Theatre attendant (5)33 Shrimp-like creature (5)34 Masticating apparatus (5)35 Ill-mannered (4)36 Inactive (4)DOWN 1 Jets Boom type (5)2 Naval accident (9)4 Eucalyptus, for one (3,4) 5 Green transparent gem (7)6 Mountain feature (4)7 Walrus tusk (5)8 Smartie Holder (4)9 Obeying the rules exactly (2,3,4) 16 Tonics (4-2-3) 17 Vend (4)18 Destiny (4)20 Imagination place (9) 22 At a greater distance (7)23 Pushed aside (7)25 Bird of prey (5)28 Chop up meat (5)29 Zit (4)30 Don’t Pull (4)

WELL, YOU SEE NORMits like this... a herd of

buffalo can only move as fastas the slowest buffalo.

And when the herd is hunt-

ed, it is the slowest and

weakest ones at the back that

are killed first.

This natural selection is goodfor the herd as a wholebecause the general speedand health of the wholegroup keeps improving by the regularkilling of the weakest members.

In much the same way the human braincan only operate as fast as the slowestbrain cells.

Now as we know excessive intake of alco-hol kills brain cells. But naturally, itattacks the slowest and weakest brain cellsfirst.



The premier agency dealing exclusively with theletting and management of residential propertiesin and around Carlisle, with:

design, planning andconstruction services

contact: simon bond

t:01228 596486m:07940 875084

[email protected]

free quotations · prompt servicefull design and planningbuilding reg approvalsrenovations · extensions

loft conversions

bespoke building services

Advertise in your localcommunity magazines:

The Carleton Directory(for Carleton & Parkland Village)

The Village Link(for Wetheral & Scotby)

The Stanwix Directory(for north of the river)

Ring Barbara on595984


ADVERTORIALS

INSERTED FLYERS

DISPLAY ADVERTISING



EDITORIAL

Ring Emma &Barbara

on0797 27 189 31

or 592942for marketing

ideas thatreally work better

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Chef’s NotesWith new Head Chef Paul Taylor at theCrown Hotel Wetheral.

Spicy MarinatedPork Loin withHarissa Dip

Try somethingdifferent with the wow

factor on the BBQ!

Serves 12-15

Ingredients

Half Loin of Pork (trimmed of fat andscored)30g Fennel Seeds30g Dried Chilli Seed Flakes20g Coriander Seeds20g Smoked paprika5g Sea Salt5g Crack Black pepper500ml Olive Oil

HARISSA DIP

5 Fresh Red Chillies2 Sweet Red Peppers2 large Pinches Saffron Strands2 tsp Tomato PureeSea salt10g Fresh CorianderCrack Black Pepper1Ltr Mayonnaise

Method

HARISSA DIP

1. Remove the seeds from the chillies& sweet peppers, roughly chopand place in a blender

2. Add to it the saffron, coriander &tomato puree then blitz – scrapedown the side of the blender thenblitz again. Season to taste.

3. Add the mix to the mayonnaiseand stir in. Leave in fridge to keepcool.

PORK MARINADE

1. Place the fennel seed, chilli flakes& coriander in blender and whizup to a fine powder

2. Place in a bowl with the olive oil,salt & black pepper, smokedpaprika and stir.

3. Massage the marinade into thepork loin and then place in a fridgefor 6 hours.

4. When ready to cook seal the loinfor 4-5 minutes either side on theBBQ then place into a roasting tray.Cook on 200oc for about 40 minutesuntil cooked.

5. Bring back out to the BBQ andplace on a low heat, Carve it downand serve with Harissa Dip.

To book at TheConservatoryRestaurant orWalton’s Bar

please telephone 01228 561888

We will endeavour to include as much of your relevant donated editorial as possible, but reservethe right to omit or edit as space requires; generally we will send a proof before publishing.Any views expressed are not necessarily shared by the publishers.

For professional independent financial advice and a first class service contact Darren Turnbull Certified Financial Planner on 01228 597986 for an appointment now.

F PensionsF InvestmentsF Life Assurance & Income ProtectionF MortgagesF Equity ReleaseF Tax PlanningF Business Protection

Our initial consultation is free and without obligation.Financial Concepts (Carlisle) Ltd, Eden House, The Crescent, Carlisle, CA1 1QNwww.financialconcepts.co.uk [email protected]

Financial Concepts is authorised and regulated by the Financial Services AuthorityThe Financial Services Authority does not regulate taxation advice.

Your home may be repossessed if you do not keep up repayments on your mortgage.

Tel: 0782 5516301

Dolores Marshall Opticians29a Fisher St (opposite Cranstons) Carlisle

Tel: 01228 409 [email protected]

NHS AND PRIVATE PATIENTS WELCOMEPersonal Attention Guaranteed

Prescription sunglasses complete from £99 and great offerson lenses that change with the light

Call in for more details or to view our wide rangeof frames to suit all budgets

£45 offall Rodenstock varifocal

lenses now extendeduntil 31st August ’09

This full-colour space in

The Stanwix Directorycosts from only £29

if regular



High Society

Massive Reductionson ALL STOCK

Due to change in direction for Autumn/Winter

3 piece suit was £345now £150

17 swan streetlongtown

01228 792880

Fashionby Susan of High Society

Hurray itsSummer!Its time for Weddings, GardensParties, Racenights and BBQ’s as wellas holidays – so whether its Barbados,Bournemouth or the back garden letshave a look at the fashion forecast forthe next couple of months.

Leading the pack is the jump suit invarious guises from short and sportywith buttons, zips and ties detail in cot-tons and jersey. It’s great for the beach,sightseeing andearly eveningdrinks. Wear withflats or gladiatorsandals for arelaxed and com-fortable holidaylook.

For evening, wellthere’s no clearfavourite so it’sfinding the onethat suits youbest, be it knee,calf or anklelength. Styleoptions rangefrom harem,cropped, peg orslightly more fit-ted, in soft drap-ing jersey, wornwith statement jewellery. Shoes needto be high and strappy and clutch bagsremain oversized.

Nautical is a favourite that returns on aregular basis, whether your areinspired by the American Hamptons(remember High Society with GraceKelly) or the south of France St Tropezset.

White high waisted wide leg cottontrousers worn with the traditionalstriped white navy and red boat necksleeve Tee, or perhaps a simple crew ina block colour with a silk scarf tied atthe neck. For a fresher more modernlook try yellow and green stripes.

For the beach or on deck! All that’sneeded is a kaftan, white bikini, flipflops, over sized shades and jewellery,but come the cocktail hour it’s the maxi

dress in bold or psychedelic prints -detail is added on straps and underthe bust line for more interest

If however it’s navigating the broadsor sailing the west coast fromMaryport to Kippford the reality isprobably, crops, tee, deck shoes andkagool !!!! whatever the weather justremember colour!!!...

Dresses and cardigans - yes it couldbe just like grandma used to wear.The look is vintage so on dresses lookfor bows just under the bust line, or atthe waist… (bows are every where thisseason on shoes, handbags, & jack-ets). There really is something foreveryone from sassy shifts to floatyfeminine tea dresses. Dress with acardi and coloured tights for a girlylook, or slightly more casual under a

denim bomberjacket or for adressy one, youguessed - just addheels.

Cardigans areworn long or short,this applies to bothsleeves and lengthand they are agreat cover up,worn with dressesor teamed up withvest tops – if itworks for the firstlady! Interest isadded by way ofembroidery andlace.

Jackets - it’s in thedetail – look for

oversized and decorative buttons,large collars and decorative necklines– styles wise its bolero or cropped.Blazers are still in trend this seasonbut loose with a softly tailored look.

For weddings we all want to push toboat out, it’s an opportunity for us tomake an effort and get dressed up. Weall want to look for something differ-ent but just remember to look forstyles that suit you and that you arecomfortable and confident with. Theinterest comes from the styling, fabricand colour. Look for a well cut shift ina soft colour worn with a fittedcropped jacket in a bold print or visa-versa.

So that’s Summer taken care of letshope ours isn’t as short!!

clearance

Did You Know?The only sound that doesn’t echo is

a duck’s quack.

The names of all the continents endwith the letter they start with.

Some 190 billion emails are sentdaily - more than 2 million per sec-ond - by 1,2 billion email senders.About 70% (133 billion emails) arespam and viruses. There are about1,4 billion registered email address-es.

Eskimos use refrigerators to keepfood from freezing.

The electric chair was invented by adentist.

AFTER YEARS of researchinto communication

between partners we are pleasedto announce we've cracked it.From now on we can save thou-sands of relationships from;

unnecessary rows,

uncomfortable silences,

injury from flying objects,

Why ? Because we have discovered the real meaning tosome everyday phrases used by the ladies which have beenmisunderstood by their partners for years.

Gentlemen please study these points and see your lifeimprove.

‘Fine’: This is the word women use to end an argumentwhen they are right and you need to shut up.

‘5 Minutes’: If she is getting dressed, this means half anhour. Five minutes is only five minutes if youhave just been given five more minutes to watchthe match before helping around the house.

‘Nothing’: This is the calm before the storm. This meanssomething, and you should be on your toes...arguments that begin with nothing usually endin ‘fine’ above.

‘Go Ahead': This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbalstatement often misunderstood by men. A loudsigh means she thinks you are an idiot andwonders why she is wasting her time standinghere and arguing with you about nothing.(Refer above for the meaning of nothing.)

‘That's OK’: This is one of the most dangerous statements awoman can make to a man. That's okay meansshe wants to think long and hard before decid-ing how and when you will pay for your mistake.

‘Thanks’: A woman is thanking you, do not question, orfaint; just say ‘you’re welcome’. (I want to addin a clause here - this is true, unless she says'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she isnot thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you'rewelcome' as that will bring on a ‘whatever’.

‘Don't worry about it, I've got it’: Another dangerous state-ment, meaning this is something that a womanhas told a man to do several times, but is nowdoing it herself. This will later result in a manasking 'What's wrong?' For the woman'sresponse refer to ‘nothing’ above.

‘Whatever’: ... is a woman's way of saying Stuff You! Leavethe room immediately.

Who Can Handle AWoman?



High Society

Massive Reductionson ALL STOCK

Due to change in direction for Autumn/Winter

3 piece suit was £345now £150

17 swan streetlongtown

01228 792880

Fashionby Susan of High Society

Hurray itsSummer!Its time for Weddings, GardensParties, Racenights and BBQ’s as wellas holidays – so whether its Barbados,Bournemouth or the back garden letshave a look at the fashion forecast forthe next couple of months.

Leading the pack is the jump suit invarious guises from short and sportywith buttons, zips and ties detail in cot-tons and jersey. It’s great for the beach,sightseeing andearly eveningdrinks. Wear withflats or gladiatorsandals for arelaxed and com-fortable holidaylook.

For evening, wellthere’s no clearfavourite so it’sfinding the onethat suits youbest, be it knee,calf or anklelength. Styleoptions rangefrom harem,cropped, peg orslightly more fit-ted, in soft drap-ing jersey, wornwith statement jewellery. Shoes needto be high and strappy and clutch bagsremain oversized.

Nautical is a favourite that returns on aregular basis, whether your areinspired by the American Hamptons(remember High Society with GraceKelly) or the south of France St Tropezset.

White high waisted wide leg cottontrousers worn with the traditionalstriped white navy and red boat necksleeve Tee, or perhaps a simple crew ina block colour with a silk scarf tied atthe neck. For a fresher more modernlook try yellow and green stripes.

For the beach or on deck! All that’sneeded is a kaftan, white bikini, flipflops, over sized shades and jewellery,but come the cocktail hour it’s the maxi

dress in bold or psychedelic prints -detail is added on straps and underthe bust line for more interest

If however it’s navigating the broadsor sailing the west coast fromMaryport to Kippford the reality isprobably, crops, tee, deck shoes andkagool !!!! whatever the weather justremember colour!!!...

Dresses and cardigans - yes it couldbe just like grandma used to wear.The look is vintage so on dresses lookfor bows just under the bust line, or atthe waist… (bows are every where thisseason on shoes, handbags, & jack-ets). There really is something foreveryone from sassy shifts to floatyfeminine tea dresses. Dress with acardi and coloured tights for a girlylook, or slightly more casual under a

denim bomberjacket or for adressy one, youguessed - just addheels.

Cardigans areworn long or short,this applies to bothsleeves and lengthand they are agreat cover up,worn with dressesor teamed up withvest tops – if itworks for the firstlady! Interest isadded by way ofembroidery andlace.

Jackets - it’s in thedetail – look for

oversized and decorative buttons,large collars and decorative necklines– styles wise its bolero or cropped.Blazers are still in trend this seasonbut loose with a softly tailored look.

For weddings we all want to push toboat out, it’s an opportunity for us tomake an effort and get dressed up. Weall want to look for something differ-ent but just remember to look forstyles that suit you and that you arecomfortable and confident with. Theinterest comes from the styling, fabricand colour. Look for a well cut shift ina soft colour worn with a fittedcropped jacket in a bold print or visa-versa.

So that’s Summer taken care of letshope ours isn’t as short!!

clearance

Did You Know?The only sound that doesn’t echo is

a duck’s quack.

The names of all the continents endwith the letter they start with.

Some 190 billion emails are sentdaily - more than 2 million per sec-ond - by 1,2 billion email senders.About 70% (133 billion emails) arespam and viruses. There are about1,4 billion registered email address-es.

Eskimos use refrigerators to keepfood from freezing.

The electric chair was invented by adentist.

AFTER YEARS of researchinto communication

between partners we are pleasedto announce we've cracked it.From now on we can save thou-sands of relationships from;

unnecessary rows,

uncomfortable silences,

injury from flying objects,

Why ? Because we have discovered the real meaning tosome everyday phrases used by the ladies which have beenmisunderstood by their partners for years.

Gentlemen please study these points and see your lifeimprove.

‘Fine’: This is the word women use to end an argumentwhen they are right and you need to shut up.

‘5 Minutes’: If she is getting dressed, this means half anhour. Five minutes is only five minutes if youhave just been given five more minutes to watchthe match before helping around the house.

‘Nothing’: This is the calm before the storm. This meanssomething, and you should be on your toes...arguments that begin with nothing usually endin ‘fine’ above.

‘Go Ahead': This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbalstatement often misunderstood by men. A loudsigh means she thinks you are an idiot andwonders why she is wasting her time standinghere and arguing with you about nothing.(Refer above for the meaning of nothing.)

‘That's OK’: This is one of the most dangerous statements awoman can make to a man. That's okay meansshe wants to think long and hard before decid-ing how and when you will pay for your mistake.

‘Thanks’: A woman is thanking you, do not question, orfaint; just say ‘you’re welcome’. (I want to addin a clause here - this is true, unless she says'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she isnot thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you'rewelcome' as that will bring on a ‘whatever’.

‘Don't worry about it, I've got it’: Another dangerous state-ment, meaning this is something that a womanhas told a man to do several times, but is nowdoing it herself. This will later result in a manasking 'What's wrong?' For the woman'sresponse refer to ‘nothing’ above.

‘Whatever’: ... is a woman's way of saying Stuff You! Leavethe room immediately.

Who Can Handle AWoman?

Stanwix July09old.qxd 9/8/09 21:14 Page 8


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Chef’s NotesWith new Head Chef Paul Taylor at theCrown Hotel Wetheral.

Spicy MarinatedPork Loin withHarissa Dip

Try somethingdifferent with the wow

factor on the BBQ!

Serves 12-15

Ingredients

Half Loin of Pork (trimmed of fat andscored)30g Fennel Seeds30g Dried Chilli Seed Flakes20g Coriander Seeds20g Smoked paprika5g Sea Salt5g Crack Black pepper500ml Olive Oil

HARISSA DIP

5 Fresh Red Chillies2 Sweet Red Peppers2 large Pinches Saffron Strands2 tsp Tomato PureeSea salt10g Fresh CorianderCrack Black Pepper1Ltr Mayonnaise

Method

HARISSA DIP

1. Remove the seeds from the chillies& sweet peppers, roughly chopand place in a blender

2. Add to it the saffron, coriander &tomato puree then blitz – scrapedown the side of the blender thenblitz again. Season to taste.

3. Add the mix to the mayonnaiseand stir in. Leave in fridge to keepcool.

PORK MARINADE

1. Place the fennel seed, chilli flakes& coriander in blender and whizup to a fine powder

2. Place in a bowl with the olive oil,salt & black pepper, smokedpaprika and stir.

3. Massage the marinade into thepork loin and then place in a fridgefor 6 hours.

4. When ready to cook seal the loinfor 4-5 minutes either side on theBBQ then place into a roasting tray.Cook on 200oc for about 40 minutesuntil cooked.

5. Bring back out to the BBQ andplace on a low heat, Carve it downand serve with Harissa Dip.

To book at TheConservatoryRestaurant orWalton’s Bar

please telephone 01228 561888

We will endeavour to include as much of your relevant donated editorial as possible, but reservethe right to omit or edit as space requires; generally we will send a proof before publishing.Any views expressed are not necessarily shared by the publishers.

For professional independent financial advice and a first class service contact Darren Turnbull Certified Financial Planner on 01228 597986 for an appointment now.

F PensionsF InvestmentsF Life Assurance & Income ProtectionF MortgagesF Equity ReleaseF Tax PlanningF Business Protection

Our initial consultation is free and without obligation.Financial Concepts (Carlisle) Ltd, Eden House, The Crescent, Carlisle, CA1 1QNwww.financialconcepts.co.uk [email protected]

Financial Concepts is authorised and regulated by the Financial Services AuthorityThe Financial Services Authority does not regulate taxation advice.

Your home may be repossessed if you do not keep up repayments on your mortgage.

Tel: 0782 5516301

Dolores Marshall Opticians29a Fisher St (opposite Cranstons) Carlisle

Tel: 01228 409 [email protected]

NHS AND PRIVATE PATIENTS WELCOMEPersonal Attention Guaranteed

Prescription sunglasses complete from £99 and great offerson lenses that change with the light

Call in for more details or to view our wide rangeof frames to suit all budgets

£45 offall Rodenstock varifocal

lenses now extendeduntil 31st August ’09

This full-colour space in

The Stanwix Directorycosts from only £29

if regular



The first time I see a jogger smiling,I’ll give it a try.

If it weren’t for the fact that the TV setand the fridge are so far apart, someof us wouldn’t get any exercise at all.

The only exercise some people get isjumping to conclusions, running downtheir friends, side-stepping responsi-

bility and pushing their luck.

The other day I was feeling that mybody has got completely out of shape.

So I got my doctor’s permission tojoin a fitness club and start exercising.

I had a look at all those machines inthe gym and decided to start with an

aerobics class for seniors. I bent,twisted, gyrated, jumped up and

down, and perspired for about anhour. But by the time I got myleotards on, the class was over.

In this way, regular consumption of beereliminates the weaker brain cells, makingthe brain a faster and more efficientmachine.

And that, Norm is why you always feelsmarter after a few beers.”

Keeping Fit!

Cheers!? Bottoms Up?

2 Cecil Street Carlisle Cumbria CA1 1 NL

07850 491527Email [email protected]

%

Sunday Lunch at Fantailswith a Bottle of Wine (for 2)

Prize CrosswordSponsored by Fantails, Wetheral Fill in your details on the form overleaf and send in your completed entry for yet another chance to win a . . .

ACROSS 1 Neither good nor bad (2-2) 3 Monster (4)6 Indicate (5)10 Loud (5)11 Assembles (5) 12 Sphere (3)13 Farm female (3)14 Type of tea (6)15 Colouring material (3) 18 Gift item (7)19 Decrease (7)21 Airport sight (7)23 Old pen need (7)24 Soggy (3)26 Royal family member (6)27 Parent (3)31 Charlottes Porky Friend (3)32 Theatre attendant (5)33 Shrimp-like creature (5)34 Masticating apparatus (5)35 Ill-mannered (4)36 Inactive (4)DOWN 1 Jets Boom type (5)2 Naval accident (9)4 Eucalyptus, for one (3,4) 5 Green transparent gem (7)6 Mountain feature (4)7 Walrus tusk (5)8 Smartie Holder (4)9 Obeying the rules exactly (2,3,4) 16 Tonics (4-2-3) 17 Vend (4)18 Destiny (4)20 Imagination place (9) 22 At a greater distance (7)23 Pushed aside (7)25 Bird of prey (5)28 Chop up meat (5)29 Zit (4)30 Don’t Pull (4)

WELL, YOU SEE NORMits like this... a herd of

buffalo can only move as fastas the slowest buffalo.

And when the herd is hunt-

ed, it is the slowest and

weakest ones at the back that

are killed first.

This natural selection is goodfor the herd as a wholebecause the general speedand health of the wholegroup keeps improving by the regularkilling of the weakest members.

In much the same way the human braincan only operate as fast as the slowestbrain cells.

Now as we know excessive intake of alco-hol kills brain cells. But naturally, itattacks the slowest and weakest brain cellsfirst.



GardeningYou can send in an article and photo of any gardening topic youthink would be of local interest: [email protected]

Why conserveWild Plants?After our well received article onBumblebees last month we thought wewould continue the theme with a littleinsight on how our wild flowers are far-ing across the countryside.

Conserving wild plants in their natu-ral habitats is about

more than plants, wildlifeand ecosystems – it isabout people and our needfor food, medicines, freshair and water, shelter, anda clean and healthy envi-ronment in which to live.Two thirds of the ‘services’provided by nature tomankind are now in declineworldwide, and the abilityof the planet’s ecosystemsto sustain future genera-tions can no longer betaken for granted.

The native wild flowers ofour countryside are cham-pioned by the NationalCharity Plantlife who takeunder their care a total of101 species which alsoincludes vascular plants,stoneworts, mosses,lichens, fungi and even analgae. This year they areasking members of localcommunities like ours totake a 1km walk, whereverthey like, and record theflowers that they see usinga recording sheet whichcan be downloaded fromtheir website.

This survey is the only oneof its kind in the entire UKand provides an invaluableinsight into the state of ourfloral friends as well as giv-ing us the excuse to take alittle wander into our sur-rounding countryside.

You could walk along theRiver Eden and RickerbyPark, through the woods,over the fields or even

record what you see on your way towork or school. If you’re lucky enoughyou may even spot Grass-of-Parnassus (currently in flower now)(picture) the emblem wild flower forour County. This flower has the dis-tinction of appearing on the countyarms of Cumbria. The name is inher-ited from ancient Greece. Evidentlythe cattle on Mount Parnassus appre-ciated the plant; hence it was an ‘hon-orary grass'. With Saxifrage bluebells,yarrow and butterbur and the redclover on the local sports fields thereis a whole world of wild flowers to dis-cover.

Over the last centuryhuman activity has forcedan incalculable number ofspecies to the verge ofextinction. Current esti-mates put the rate of lossas high as one plant percounty every two years.Let’s hope some of theexamples which we havefeatured throughout thisarticle remain part of ourcommunity for many yearsto come.

The survey, which alsogives you a helpful guideto identifying wildflowersfinishes in October soplease make sure yours isreturned by the end ofSeptember at the latest.

Further details atwww.plantlife.org.uk

Top photo: Hawthorn -Spiny tree-shrub withbunches of flowers appear-ing after the bright greenleaves, which are deeplydivided. Deep red fruitwhich appears fromAugust.

Second photo from top:Grass of Parnassus

Lower 2 photos: Bluebell -Voted Britain’s most popularwild flower in a Plantlifepoll, the UK is the interna-tional stronghold for thenative Bluebell. In fact wehave between 25% and 50%of the world's population!

or a fragment of black bin liner caughtin barbed wire on the Solway coast,Cumbria is truly inspirational.Believing a sense of humour to be oneof life’s essentials it also finds itselfwinding its way into his words, no moreso than in “Phew!”, where the socks ofJohnny inspire the lines, “If they’d awhiff of Stilton cheese, At least they’dstand a chance to please, But skunksand dung hey, wait a minute, That’s justabout the utter limit”

With a strong inter-est in photographyand music, CarletonGrange is his cultur-al cornucopia of cre-ativity. Perhaps oneday when you walkhis way you may belucky enough tohear the music heplays, drifting downthe street. His work,like the piano musiche plays, is accessi-ble to all and full ofCumbrian heart.The passion is part

of its charm so long may the“Cumbrian’s Pen” continue to bring thethoughts of Howard Laws to paper.

Who’s WhoYou can send in an article and photo of any person living in themagazine distribution area; send to [email protected]

Local PoetHoward Laws

Howard is a native of Carlisle whohas spent most of his life in the

county. In his own words, “Born here,so many years ago, Nofairer place than this Iknow”. Obviouslyproud of his heritagehis latest collection ofpoems is entitled“Thoughts into wordsvia a Cumbrian’s Pen”.

Having spent a privi-leged hour or two lis-tening to his poetryand prose and havingread his works, his titlespeaks as much abouthis work as his worktells tales of histhoughts. His work (onthis page) “Stalwart City” echoes thissentiment. The spark of inspirationwhich triggered the poem happened inas simple a setting as being stuck at thetraffic lights. With nowhere to go hecast a glance at the Citadel, “SandstoneCitadel, fortress bold, It’s prominentposition holds”, the words tripped offthe tongue and the resultant versescame naturally as he progressedthrough the city he loves.

Maybe this natural flare and the trickof finding the right words at the mostunexpected of times is part of his her-itage. The son of a local Police Officer,he can trace his family tree back intime through his maternal grandmoth-er to that famous Cumbrian huntsman;John Peel.

Having stepped into the world of poet-ry some 25 years ago, as “Stalwart City”hints, most of his inspiration is takenfrom everyday experiences and theCumbrian Countryside which hedelights to explore. Whether the floodsof 2005, the Foot and Mouth Outbreak

Crossword Entry FormSunday Lunch at Fantails with a Bottle of WineComplete the crossword overleaf, fill in your details below, cut out this section

and send to Fantails July Crossword, 75 Cumwhinton Rd, Carlisle CA1 3JB

Closing Date Aug 30th

$

Name ............................................................

Tel: ................................................................

Address: ........................................................

......................................................................

......................................................................

Email: ............................................................

Stalwart CityGrand Carlisle, Border City strong,Local traditions brave and longThe site of many a stirring tale,O’erlooking Eden’s pleasant Vale.

Approaching from the southern side.Presents a fascinating ride, Proceeding then through Botchergate, A reconstruction scene, of late.

Towards Caeral Cross, still moving on,Which oft-times witnessed history born,Passing the station for the train Where travellers leave, then come again

Sandstone Citadel, fortress bold,Its prominent position holds,Entrance to city centre fairVia English Street, to Town Square.

Current buildings in concrete coldMerging with structures, centuries old,Ancient and modern side by side, Heart of a city, Cumbrian Pride.

Caldew and Eden flowing through,Cross Eden Bridge, Belah, Stanwix too,View both Cathedral and Castle fine, Surviving still, defying time.

Old stalwart Carlisle, ever new,Has residents so proud and true,With robust heart, it is alive, And will for centuries more, survive.

Creating history still, per se,Events occurring day by day,Its motto, firm, commends a lotTo all, “Be just and fear not”.

Howard Laws

incorporating


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Bus Times Whilst every effort is made to check that thesetimes are accurate at print time, we cannotaccept responsibility for errors or laterchanges.

Fred said toSteve..

“You’re looking a bit

fed up today Steve,

what’s wrong?”

“ I had a row with the

mother in law and

she swore she wouldn’t

talk to me for a month.”

“That’s not so bad Steve”.

“Yes it is, that was four

weeks ago!”

An old man...had serious hearing problems for

a number of years. He went to the

doctor and the doctor was able to

give him a set of hearing aids that

allowed the man to hear 100%.

The elderly man went back in a

month to the doctor and the doctor

said, “Your hearing is perfect. Your

family must be really pleased that

you can hear again.”

The old man replied, “Oh I haven’t

told my family yet; I just sit around

and listen

to the con-

versations.

I’ve

changed

my will

three

times!”

You SillyMooAFTER A FEW weeks teetering on the

edge of total economic and financialmeltdown it seems economic systems andtheir workings have pushed their way intothe need-to-know category.

Well, we can now simplify this all byexplaining 21 economic models with cows.

It is remarkable how much sense it allmakes from this real world perspective!

SOCIALISM. You have 2 cows. You giveone to your'neighbour.

COMMUNISM. You have 2 cows. TheState takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM. You have 2 cows. The Statetakes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM. You have 2 cows. The Statetakes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM. You have 2 cows. TheState takes both, shoots one, milks theother, and then throws the milk away

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM. You havetwo cows. You sell one and buy a bull.Your herd multiplies, and the economygrows. You sell them and retire on theincome.

SURREALISM. You have two giraffes. Thegovernment requires you take care har-monica lessons.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION. Youhave two cows. You sell one, and force theother to produce the milk of four cows.Later, you hire a consultant to analysewhy the cow has dropped dead.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM. Youhave two cows. You sell three of them toyour publicly listed company, using letterscredit opened by your brother-in-law atthe bank, then execute a debt/equity swapwith an associated general offer so thatyou get all four cows back, with a taxexemption for five cows. The milk rightsof the six cows are transferred to aCayman Island Company secretly ownedby the majority shareholder who sells therights to all seven cows back to your listedcompany. The annual report says thecompany owns eight cows, with an optionon one more. You sell one cow to buy anew president of the United States, leav-ing you with nine cows. No balance sheetprovided with the release. The public thenbuys your bull.

A FRENCH CORPORATION. You havetwo cows. You go on strike, organise ariot, and block the roads, because youwant three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION. You havetwo cows. You redesign them so they areone-tenth the size of an ordinary cow andproduce twenty times the milk. You thencreate a clever cow cartoon image called'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION. You havetwo cows. You re-engineer them so theylive for 100 years, eat once a month, andmilk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION. You havetwo cows, but you dont know where theyare. You decide to have coffee.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION. You havetwo cows. You count them and learn youhave five cows. You count them again andlearnyou have 42 cows. You count themagain and learn you have 2 cows. You stopcounting cows and open another bottle ofvodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION. You have5000 cows. None of them belong to you.You charge the owners for storing them.

CHINESE CORPORATION. You have twocows. You have 300 people milking them.You claim that you have full employment,and high bovine productivity. You arrestthe newsman who reported the real situa-tion.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION. You havetwo cows. You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION. You havetwo cows. Both are mad.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION. Youhave two cows. Business seems prettygood. You close the office and go for a fewbeers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION. Youhave two cows. The one on the left looksvery attractive.



29 Myddleton St, Carlisle CA1 [email protected] www.mrinstallations.co.uk

Digital TVTel: 07756 254012 (Maurice Ridley)

We specialise in:

Signal Improvement, Digital Installation

Multi Point Systems & Satellite Re-adjustment

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FinanceBy Darren Turnbull CFP,DMS,MCIBS Certified Financial Planner

01228 597986

[email protected]

http://www.financialconcepts.co.uk

Will you havethe funds toenjoy yourretirement?Due to increases in life expectancy anda decline in birth rates since the "babyboomer" generation were born we con-tinue to live in an aging society. In2007 the number of Britons aged 65and over exceeded the number under16 for the first time.*

Graph source: Government ActuariesDepartment 2004, Population Projections.ONS 2006, Population Trends

The generation of people nowapproaching retirement have a com-pletely different attitude and approachto life than the generations beforethem. They are comfortable with theidea of servicing debt throughout theirworking life and are used to havingluxuries that their parents onlydreamed of.

This generation has also been affectedby the well-documented problems suf-fered by pension schemes.

Equity release will be a focal part offinancial planning for this generation,whether to maintain the lifestyle theywere accustomed to before retirementor to help them manage their debts andincome shortfalls.

What is equity release?Put simply equity release allows you torelease tax-free cash from your hometo boost your finances in retirement,without the need to move.

There are three different types ofequity release products:

1. Lifetime MortgageA lifetime mortgage is a form of equi-ty release scheme where a loan issecured against your property to pro-vide you with a tax free cash lumpsum or a regular income to spend asyou wish, typically with no monthlyrepayments to meet.

The loan plus interest is eventuallypaid back when the home is sold,when you move into long term care,or when you and your partner die.

2. Home Reversion

With a home reversion plan you sellpart or your entire home to a rever-sion plan company in exchange for atax-free cash lump sum and a guaran-teed lifetime lease with no monthlyrepayments to meet.

3. Drawdown LifetimeMortgage

A drawdown lifetime mortgagehas the same advantages anddisadvantages as a lifetimemortgage with the main differ-ence being you don't request thefull sum of money available to

you immediately. Instead, you decideon a maximum amount of equity youwant to release and 'drawdown' thecash in stages when you need it.

Equity release is a huge financialcommitment and therefore it is vitalthat you are protected. We only rec-ommend SHIP (Safe HomeIncome Plan) approved equityrelease plans, which come with astandard set of safety guaranteeswhich include:

• The right to remain in your homefor as long as you choose

• The freedom to move to anotherproperty without financial penalty(subject to lenders' criteria)

• That you will receive a cash lumpsum or a regular income

• That you will never fall into nega-tive equity no matter what hap-pens to house prices in the future

"By the end of 2010, theInstitute of Actuaries forecastthat the equity release market

will reach £2 billion"†Sources: † Institute of Actuaries, Equity Releasereport 2005.

What's driving the equity releasemarket?• Ageing population is increasing the

target market • Life expectancy will continue to rise • Longer retirement places mounting

strain on finances • For many, the attempt to close the

savings gap is too little, too late • Erosion of state benefits • Decrease in employer’s

contributions • House price rises have increased

wealth held in property • Changing attitudes towards

property • Growth in product providers and

press coverage

Using the assets built up in property isa viable way of both putting your house-hold finances on an even keel andreleasing funds for essential homemaintenance, to boost day to dayincome or for more pleasurable pur-chases such as holidays or new cars.










NeighbourhoodPolice AlertTHIS MONTH we thought we would

provide a little guide to protectingyour property.

Opportunist thefts are somethingeveryone has to be wary of and whetherits push bikes, toys, general gardenequipment, an insecure window orshed door we all have to be prepared.

CRIME PREVENTION TIPSFOR VEHICLES

• Remove the stereo if you can

• Lock the doors and close the windows and sun roof when you leave the car- for any length oftime.

• Do not leave anything on display- even a jacket can seem like an appealing target for a thief.

CRIME PREVENTION TIPSFOR BICYCLES/GARDENEQUIPMENT

• Always lock your

bike, even if you are leaving it for acouple of minutes.

• Never leave it unattended.

• Get a good bike lock.

• Think about having your bike/Garden equipment security marked or engraved.

Remember the saying! OUT OF SIGHTOUT OF MIND

Many people take a great deal of trou-ble securing their home, please remem-ber your garden shed has valuableitems too!



Local IndexListing here is for regular advertisers (free) as well as for businessestrading in this area; a single line entry is only £2 per issue; a secondline (maximum number) is a further £1. Paid annually in advance; thenearest relevant heading should be used. Feature any mix of your adpage, phone, web or email contact details.

Bridal WearCountry Dreams Tel: 539500 page 16

Building & PlanningSimon Bond Tel: 596486 page 7

ChildcareStone Eden Nurseries Tel:599400 page 1

Cotton Baby: Easy Nappies page 7

Computer RepairsPC Fixer Tel:07984 441 329 page 14

Community CentreKingmoor Tel: 607533 page 11

Cleaning ServicesEmpire Cleaning page 2

Driving InstructorRoland Lawson 0783 495 9773 page 16

FinancialFinancial Concepts Tel: 597986 page 11

FloristFlower Time, Stanwix Tel 523600

Funeral ServicesCumbria Memorials page 2

Garden BuildingsA1 Lap Fencing Tel: 674140 page 6

GardeningBoertein Gardening page 3

Hair & BeautyTopaz Tel: 07850 491527 page 6

JewelleryPeter Fletcher page 16

Home ImprovementsTrade Windows page 9

Simon Bond Tel: 596486 page 10Fireplace For You Tel: 597945 page 14

Kitchen Living page 16

LadieswearHigh Society Tel: 792880 page 8

MarketingQIC Print Tel: 513 513 page 12

Opticians & SpectaclesDolores Tel: 409404 page 7

RTU Optical Open to the publicTel: 593300 www.rtuoptical.com

PetsArmstrong Cattery page 14

Piano TuitionAndrew Plant page 12

PlumbingDavid Howe Tel: 526338 page 2

PrintingQIC Print Tel: 513 513 page 12

PropertyBulman Tel: 597756 page 7

Northwood Tel: 534000 page 14

Public HousesRedfern Tel: 631144 page 1

RestaurantsBotchergate Tandoori 546953 page 10

Fantails Tel: 560239 page 16

The Conservatory Tel: 561888 page 10

TelevisionM R Installations Tel: 529419 page 3

TowbarsTowbars2U.com 07825 516301 page 10

Useful DialsCarlisle City Council 01228 817000

Childline 0800 1111

Child Protect (NSPCC) 0808 800 5000

Crime Stoppers 0800 555 111

Cruse Bereavement Care 0870 1671677

Cuedoc 01228 401999

Cumberland Infirmary 01228 523444

Drugs Helpline 0800 776600

Electric Emergencies (United Utilities)0800 195 4141

Environment Agency 0800 807 060

Gas Emergencies 0800 111 999

Highways & Potholes 0845 609 6609

Library renewals 607310

Police HQ 0845 33 00 247

Recycle White Goods 817200

Refuse Disposal 606708

RSPCA Cruelty Reporting 0870 5555 999

Train Times 08457 48 49 50

Traveline 0871 200 22 33

DearNeighboursTHE GREEK GODDESS of spring

may be leaving us on a warm sum-mer wind, but it is a warmth whichmay well lead to many of our thoughtsturning to a holiday or time off schoolor work.

These thoughts and this month’s poetictheme lead me to the words of JamesDent who said “A perfect summer day iswhen the sun is shining, the breeze isblowing, the birds are singing, and thelawn mower is broken”.

Echoing this sentiment I hope thisissue finds you in the garden, withnothing other to do than take five min-utes to yourself and enjoy this monthsedition.

With the usual great financial andfashion features and fantastic competi-tions sit back, enjoy the sun and maybeeven try to spot some of our local wild-flowers in your own garden (see page 12)

Until next time….Best wishes

We will endeavour to include as much of yourrelevant donated editorial as possible, butreserve the right to omit or edit as spacerequires; generally we will send a proof beforepublishing.Any views expressed are not necessarilyshared by the publishers.


ADVERTORIALS

INSERTED FLYERS

DISPLAY ADVERTISING



EDITORIAL

Ring Emma on0797 27 189 31

David Howe

plumbing and heatingFree planning and design service

Complete bathroom installations

All shower systems and enclosures

Shower panelling or tiling

t: (01228) 526338m: 07881 404 194

88 Yewdale Rd, Carlisle CA2 7SP

Balfour Beatty will undertake thedesign and construction of the newroad and also provide the whole lifeoperation and maintenance services.Balfour Beatty will invest approxi-mately £11 million of equity in theproject.Construction will start on the northernsection of the road itself, known as theCarlisle Northern Development Route(CNDR), in October. The whole CNDRwill be open April 2012, and completeby 2013.

Carlisle NorthernDevelopmentUpdateOctober 19th is the date it is all suppos-edly about to happen, at long last workwill begin as after many twists andturns, the contract between BalfourBeatty and the County Council wassigned.

Balfour Beatty, the international engi-neering, construction, services andinvestment Group, announced that itswholly-owned subsidiary, ConnectCNDR, has reached financial close forthe £176 million Carlisle NorthernDevelopment Route (CNDR) publicprivate partnership (PPP) concessioncontract for Cumbria County Council.Commenting, Balfour Beatty ChiefExecutive, Ian Tyler, said:“We are delighted to have reachedfinancial close on the CNDR contract.This is an important piece of infra-structure which will take traffic awayfrom Carlisle city centre and improvetransport links between West Cumbria,Scotland and the North East ofEngland”

The CNDR contract is a 30-year con-cession during which time ConnectCNDR will be responsible for thedesign and construction of an 8.25kmtwo-way single carriageway road fromthe M6 Junction 44 to the A595 south-west of Carlisle and the management,operation and ongoing investment inapproximately 150km of other existingroads in Cumbria.

Quotes“Not all those who wander are lost”.

- J R R Tolkien

“A journey of a thousand milesmust begin with a single step”

- Lao-Tsu

“Who is wise? He that learnsfrom everyone. Who is powerful?

He that governs his passions.Who is rich? He that is content.

Who is that? Nobody.”- Benjamin Franklin

“Only put off until tomorrowwhat you are willing to die

having left undone”- Pablo Picasso

“The meek shall inherit the earth”- Jesus Christ

“Everything you can imagineis real”

- Pablo Picasso

“The talent for being happyis appreciating and likingwhat you have, instead of

what you don't have.”- Woody Allen

“When you want to test thedepths of a stream, don't use

both feet.”- Chinese proverb

“Do not remove a fly fromyour friend's forehead with

a hatchet.”- Chinese proverb

“Experience is a comb whichnature gives to men when

they are bald.”- Chinese proverb

“A fool’s bolt may sometimeshit the mark.”

- Proverb

“Peace is the masterpiece of reason.”- J Muller

“People throw stones only at treeswhich have fruit on them.”

- Proverb

“People who never have timeare those who do least.”

- Lichtenberg

“That is not possible whichis impossible.”- Hitopadesa

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What’s Inside...

Police message

Local issues discussed

Local business list

Useful numbers

Bus Times

Who’s Who locally

Cover photo:

Maize maze at Hayclose just outsideCarlisle - ring 01768 885488(last years pattern)

page 16 Please mention Stanwix Directory when responding to advertsPublished by AQA Magazines · Typeset and printed by QIC Print (Cumbria) Ltd,Unit 4 Brunel Way, Durranhill Ind Est, Carlisle CA1 3NQ · Tel: 513 513

Summer 2009 · Distributed Free to most homes north of the river Eden

ROLAND LAWSONPROFESSIONAL DRIVING INSTRUCTOR

The Key to Safe Driving for Life

Pass Plus registered

Motorway Tuition

Semi & IntensiveTraining

ProfessionallyPolice Trained Advanced Driver

Discounts forStudents & BlockBookings

Tel: 0783 495 9773

FREE LESSONon presentation of this Directory!

Cumbria’smost experienced design and print team

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The Stanwix Directory : July 2009

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