Words of Affirmation

Physical Touch

Quality Time

Acts of Service

Gifts

The Five Love Languages of

Teenagers

Teens are in a stage of radical

transition

Moody Teens

Independent Teens

Withdrawing or Angry Teens

Words of Affirmation

Employee – notes and cards with specific thanks

Kate – notes instilling courage and highlighting love

Notes in lunches don’t work anymore

Sending through the post

Marker on the mirror

Physical Touch

Dad’s first love language was physical touch

Hugs, kisses, hold hands, pat on the back

Foot rub

On their terms

Jack

What happens

when it is not

yours?

Quality Time Charlie and the puzzle

Togetherness

Quality Conversation

A change in communication style

Maintain eye contact when your teenager is talking

Don’t listen to your teenager and do something at the same time

Listen for feelings

Observe body language

Refuse to interrupt

Ask reflective questions

Express understanding

Ask permission to share your perspective

Quality Time Continued

Quality Activities

The Right Environment for Quality Time

Choose Events Your Teen Likes

“Looks like you had a hard day. Do you want to talk about it?”

Acts of Service

Jack and his laundry

Kate: breakfast and packed lunches

Charlie’s trumpet

Lucy’s closet and bookshelves

Manipulation is not Love

Model and Guide

We want our teens to feel loved but also to know how to love

others

Gifts

Sarah and Christmas

What makes a gift a gift

Gifts and Materialism

The well-being of your children

Consider your teen’s interest

Fill all the buckets!

Primary Love Language

Identify and Model

Ask questions

Make observations

Experiment

Breaking destructive patterns

Admit the truth

Develop strategies

Engage the family member in conversation

Do we push away with our reactions

The silent teen

Do they feel controlled

Have our reactions taught them to not open up

Analyze your anger and look at your options

My own anxiety

My pride

What about when your teen is right?

Kate and the roller coaster

Process anger in a positive way

Work through anger to the point of resolution

Gary Chapman’s son’s poem – written in his twenties

To consider……

The need for independence…..and love

The desire for emotional space

“When you are ready, I am here to talk”

The desire for social independence

Listening to their own music

Wearing different clothes

The desire for intellectual independence

The desire for personal space

Kate in room drawing (processing)

Rules about Rules

Rules should be as few as possible

Rules should be as clear as possible

Rules should be as fair as possible

Rules about Consequences

Consequences should be determined before the violation

Consequences should be administered with love

Consequences should be administered consistently

Teens will fail

Failure to meet expectations

Moral failures

Parents

Don’t blame yourself

Don’t preach to the teenager

Don’t try to fix it

Give your teenager unconditional love

Listen to your teenager with empathy

Give the teenager support

Give guidance to the teenager

The Five Love Languages of Teenagers

Gary Chapman

Words of Affirmation

Physical Touch

Quality Time

Acts of Service

Gifts