Tausug Courtship

Informant:

Abdul Aziz Mustal18 yrs. Old Baliwasan Chico, Z.C

Traditional Tausug Courtship

“Dating“ as it is currently practiced in much of the world does not exist among Muslims. Young Muslim boys and girls do not enter into one-on-one close relationships, spending time alone together, "getting to know each other" in a very deep way before deciding whether that's the person they will marry. Rather, in Islam pre-marital relationships of any kind between members of the opposite sex is forbidden.

How does a Tausug man court a girl he likes?

Traditional way:

Pasihil

- it is when the parents of the boy will talk to the parents of the girl. It is in the decision of the parents of the girl when will the wedding happen.

Another way of Traditional courting is :

In Jolo, while the boy is inside a “small house” he is being carried by others to go to the house of the girl.

THE YOUNG MAN AND HIS FAMILY COME TO THE YOUNG LADY'S HOUSE AND MEET WITH THE ENTIRE FAMILY.

Traditional way:

Modern Tausug Courtship

Taru’f

The family of the girl and the boy will have a family gathering for them to know each other.

THE BOY WILL FIRST TELL THE PARENTS AND

RELATIVES OF THE GIRL THAT HE WILL COURT HER AND MAKE THEM APPROVE

THEIR RELATIONSHIP.

Modern way:

Informant

Lydhing Juaini Rabulan

31 yrs old

Jeddah, Saudi Arabia

COURTSHIP IS NOT AS OPEN FOR THE TAUSUG,THEY DON'T ENTERTAIN OR RATHER ALLOW THEIR CHILDREN DATING OUTSIDE WITH SOMEONE WHO IS NOT HIS OR HER LEGAL FIANCÉE. BUT THEN, WHEN A GENTLEMEN HAPPENED TO SEE HIS GIRL AND HE WISHES HER TO BE HIS WIFE THE MEN WILL INFORM HIS FAMILY REGARDING THE GIRL. IN SOME INSTANCES THE FAMILY OF THE BOY WILL CERTAINLY FINDS A WAY TO KNOW THE ORIGINS/FAMILY OF THE GIRL AND ESTABLISH THEIR INTENTIONS TO THE FAMILY OF THE GIRL.

TRADITIONAL WAY

Traditionally, the girl is strictly advised not to have any relationship with anybody unless she is legally engaged with him. After the statement of intentions of the parents of the boy to the parents of the girl, it is now for the parents of the girl to make their decisions whether or not to accept them.

MODERN WAY

IN MODERN BASIS,MOSTLY NOW A DAYS SOME OF MY CO-TRIBES MEET SOMEONE IN SCHOOLS OR IN THEIR WORKPLACE OR IN SOME CASES AS THEIR ACQUAINTANCE IN SOME GATHERINGS UNTIL THEY WILL HAVE SPECIAL BONDING, SHALL I SAY, THE BOY WILL COURT THE GIRL LIKE WHAT WE SEE ON TV. SOME WILL SING HIS GIRL A SONG, GIVE PRESENTS FOR IMPRESSIONS AND MOSTLY DO HIS GIRL EVERY SPECIAL FAVOR SHE MIGHT WANT.

as the evolution of modernism follows, tausug tribe also adhere with what the world calls but only slight because the preservation of conservatism still subsist. Then the boy will then introduces his girl to the family, and if the family of the boy wishes them to be a couple, by then the family of the boy will go and meet the parents of the girl and state their intentions. For clarifications, the family of the girl would be informed before hand before the arrival of the boy's family, for them (girl's family will also be prepared).