Courtship and Dating2
-
Upload
kimeroonis -
Category
Documents
-
view
235 -
download
0
Transcript of Courtship and Dating2
-
8/13/2019 Courtship and Dating2
1/50
Over the centuries The Background Worlds of
Courtship and Dating
-
8/13/2019 Courtship and Dating2
2/50
Traditional Forms
Socio-Cultural Templates Order and Arrangements Constrained Desires
Modern Forms
Socio-Cultural Transformations Personal Encounters Rights and Desire
Post
-
Modern Forms
Post-Modern Cultural Underpinnings Greater Plasticity Complex Hybridity
-
8/13/2019 Courtship and Dating2
3/50
-
8/13/2019 Courtship and Dating2
4/50
1. Anterior Cingulate Cortex (ACC): Weighs options, makes decisions.Its the worry -wort center, and its larger in women than in men.
2. Prefrontal Cortex (PFC): The queen that rules the emotions and keeps them fromgoing wild. It puts the brakes on the amygdala. Larger in women, and matures fasterin teen girls than in boys by one to two years.
3. Insula: The center that processes gut feelings. Larger and more active in women.4. Hypothalamus: The conductor of the hormonal symphony; kicks the gonads into
gear. Starts pumping earlier at puberty in females.5. Amygdala: The wild beast within; the instinctual core, tamed only by the PFC. Larger
in men.6. Pituitary Gland: Produces hormones of fertility, milk production, and nurturing
behavior. Helps turn on the mommy brain.7. Hippocampus: The elephant that never forgets a fight, a romantic encounter, or a
tender moment and wont let you forget it, either. Larger and more active in
women.
-
8/13/2019 Courtship and Dating2
5/50
Major hormone changes What males have thatfemales dont
Male-specific brain changes Reality changes
Fetal growth Brain development:starting 8 weeks afterconception, testosteronemasculinizes and then
works with MIS hormoneto defeminize the malebrain.
Y Chromosome Growth and masculinization ofcircuits for sexual pursuit,exploratory behavior, and rough-and-tumble muscle movements.
Boyhood Continued production ofMIS; low levels oftestosterone during thisjuvenile pause.
High testosterone from 1month to 12 months afterbirth; lower testosteronefrom 1 to 11 years old;continued high MIShormone; low estrogen
More brain circuits forexploratory behavior, rough-and-tumble muscle movements;circuits fro male sexual activitycontinue to develop.
Major interest in winning,movement, chasingobjects, rough-and-tumbleand exploratory lay withboys, not girls.
Puberty 20-fold increase intestosterone along withincreasing vasopressin; lowMIS
Increased sensitivity andgrowth of sexual-pursuitcircuits and territorialaggression.
Circuits for visual sex attractionfocus on female figures;perceives male faces as hostile;sense of smell for pheromoneschanges; auditory perceptionchanges; circuits for sleep cyclechanges.
Major interest in turf, socialinteraction girls bodyparts, sexual fantasy,masturbation, malehierarchy; goes to sleepand gets up later;avoidance of parents,challenges authority.
SexualMaturity,single man
Testosterone continues tobe high and activatemating, sex, protection,hierarchy, and turf circuits.
Focused on curvaceous,fertile females. Wants sexfirst, then love andrelationship may follow; highlibido
Visual circuits change to spotfertile females and potentiallyaggressive males.
Major interest in findingsexual partners; focus on
job, money, and careerdevelopment
Fatherhood During the motherspregnancy and after birthof baby, prolactin goes up,testosterone goes down.
Male-pregnancy or covadesyndrome
Circuits for sex drive supresseddue to lower testosterone andhigh prolactin; auditory circuitsenhanced for hearing babies cry;
Major focus is onprotecting the mother andbaby, on making a livingand supporting the family;
-
8/13/2019 Courtship and Dating2
6/50
SexualMaturity,single man
Testosterone continuesto be high and activatemating, sex,protection, hierarchy,and turf circuits.
Focused on curvaceous,fertile females. Wantssex first, then love andrelationship may follow;high libido
Visual circuits change tospot fertile females andpotentially aggressivemales.
Major interest infinding sexual partners;focus on job, money,and careerdevelopment
Fatherhood During the motherspregnancy and afterbirth of baby, prolactingoes up, testosteronegoes down.
Male-pregnancy orcovade syndrome Circuits for sex drivesupressed due to lowertestosterone and highprolactin; auditory circuitsenhanced for hearingbabies cry; father-baysynchrony develops.
Major focus is onprotecting the motherand baby, on making aliving and supportingthe family; hears babiescry better than non-dads.
Middlemanhood Very graduallydecreasingtestosterone.
Continued focus on sex,turf, and attractivewomen
Slightly decreasingactivation by testosteroneand vasopressin.
Major focus is onraising kids, power andstatus at work; lessfocus on must-have-sex-now
Andropause
Gradually lowertestosterone; by age85, testosterone levelis less than half ofwhat it was at age 20.
Can continue toreproduce; continuedfocus on sex andattractive women
Brain Circuits usually fueledby testosterone aredeclining; ratio of estrogento testosterone increases;high oxytocin.
Major interest is instaying healthy andimproving well-being,marriage, sex life,grandchildren, legacy;closest that men willever come to being likewomen, since oxytocinmakes them more opento affection and
sentiment, anddeclining testosterone
-
8/13/2019 Courtship and Dating2
7/50
-
8/13/2019 Courtship and Dating2
8/50
-
8/13/2019 Courtship and Dating2
9/50
Thus the convergencesBiological, Psychological, and Socio-Cultural
Biological/Physiological two forms; distinctive physical characteristics
DNAmore direct; distinctive XX/XY chromosomes; but these arenot the final determinants of sex. In some cases, for example,
chromosomally female babies that have been exposed to highlevels of androgens before birth can develop masculinized genitalsby the time they are born
Hormonal indirect; distinctive hormone quantities DNA behavioral expressions confusing (climate vs. weather)
Social/Cultural increase or decrease sexual differences; genderroles (In Bali, we are told, men do not usually participate in heavywork, thus there is less difference between the muscle mass of menand women)
Heart Love/Desire PartnerFlowers, chocolates, cellphones, FB, skype, Victoria C.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Gray241.pnghttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Gray242.pnghttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Gray241.png -
8/13/2019 Courtship and Dating2
10/50
HOME NEIGHBORHOOD
DomesticLifeCommunityIntegration
House choresFarmingFishing
ForestField
River / Sea
Monetaryand
Non-monetaryTrades
SCHOOL WORKPLACE MARKET
Pre-Modernity (and Women)
-
8/13/2019 Courtship and Dating2
11/50
Pre-Modern Forms Predominance of Traditions (learned, shared,
handed-down, quasi-obligatory) Village (homogeneous, closed,
heteronomous)
Neighborhood (mutual-supervision) Family (reflection of the socio-cultural order)
Modes Patterns / Templates (bundling, albergement,
le marachinage) Roles (parents, neighbors, matchmaker) Arrangements (economic, ethnic, political)
-
8/13/2019 Courtship and Dating2
12/50
Cottage Industry
-
8/13/2019 Courtship and Dating2
13/50
Traditional Forms Woman was confined
Village constrained (work, worship) Neighborhood checked (neighbors gaze) Family supervised (affirm and reinforce standards)
What could men do? (What could women do?) Appear in front of everyone Show ones character Court familys / communitys confidence Develop / Enhance ones sense of commitment
Thus, Desire was (generally) more circumscribed
by external factors
-
8/13/2019 Courtship and Dating2
14/50
-
8/13/2019 Courtship and Dating2
15/50
The SexualDecision-MakingProcess
According to thePenitentials
-
8/13/2019 Courtship and Dating2
16/50
-
8/13/2019 Courtship and Dating2
17/50
The SexualDecision-MakingProcess
According to thePenitentials
-
8/13/2019 Courtship and Dating2
18/50
MODERNITY
-
8/13/2019 Courtship and Dating2
19/50
-
8/13/2019 Courtship and Dating2
20/50
-
8/13/2019 Courtship and Dating2
21/50
-
8/13/2019 Courtship and Dating2
22/50
Modernity One-on-One Encounters
Personal interaction level Individual Template(s)
Personal Interaction Modulating desires (emotivist criteria) Modifying traditions (negotiable criteria / norms)
Possible, because (among other factors) Woman was moving freely (study, work, worship) Neighborhood subdivided into autonomous homes Individual Taste or Desire is respected Public areas become pathways or backdrop of Desire
-
8/13/2019 Courtship and Dating2
23/50
HOME NEIGHBORHOOD
WarmthCareLove
CooperationFriendship
Community
StudyDiscipline
Work
WorkSacrificeWages
Spending
ProfitCompetition
SCHOOL WORKPLACE MARKET
Modernity (or Towards Post-Modernity)
http://images.google.com.ph/imgres?imgurl=http://unbornwordoftheday.files.wordpress.com/2007/10/st-luke-2.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.weblo.com/property/real_estate/Saint_Luke/1933905/&usg=__PtoXSjEE6gtnSS7UOT2dGNT8PYo=&h=1476&w=1036&sz=940&hl=tl&start=7&tbnid=s0Hpv9n5YOri7M:&tbnh=150&tbnw=105&prev=/images?q=saint+luke&gbv=2&hl=tl -
8/13/2019 Courtship and Dating2
24/50
-
8/13/2019 Courtship and Dating2
25/50
HOME NEIGHBORHOOD SCHOOL WORKPLACE MARKET
Old Habits Old Habits Old Habits Old Habits Old Habits
1 9 155
-
8/13/2019 Courtship and Dating2
26/50
199 298
HOME
NEIGHBORHOOD
SCHOOL WORKPLACE MARKET
Singleparents,no kids
Subdivision,Condo,
Research,Experiments
Versatility,Multi-tasking
IT, Trans-nationals
NewHabits
New HabitsNew
HabitsNew
HabitsNew Habits
-
8/13/2019 Courtship and Dating2
27/50
HOME NEIGHBORHOOD
Care for
eachother
Befriendly Studyhard
Work
Hard, earnmore
Buy and sellPay for your
bill
SCHOOL WORKPLACE MARKET
Post-Modernity
MORE FRAGMENTATIONS,EXPLODED TRADITIONS,
VIRTUAL REALITIES, INSTANTGRATIFICATIONS, ETC.
-
8/13/2019 Courtship and Dating2
28/50
PERIOD CONDITIONS REACTIONSAFFIRMATION I RESISTANCE
Pre-Modern Women confined Traditional Common Templates Community-supervised Patriarchy
Obedience Docility Sacrifice
Romeo & Juliet Elopement (The
Notebook) Nunnery or
monastery Single life
Modern Nuclear family Freedom for Women
Respect of rights Respect of privacy Decision based on
rational choice Criteria of Progress
and Development Patriarchy not yet over
Heterosexual Mutuality
Egalitarian Bourgeois ideals offamily life Management
Live-in Trial marriage
Homosexual Single parent Wife-Swapping
Post-Modern Unstable conditions(migrations, inter-marriages, Trans-gender roles
IT, globalizations, etc. Plethora of Opportunities
Impermanence Collage / Pastiche /
hodgepodge Collect, Consume,
and play
Back to traditions No commitment Neurosis /Psychosis
Fun
More elaborated speech
(replacing packed traditions)
-
8/13/2019 Courtship and Dating2
29/50
Some Post-modern stories
Antonias Line Y Tu Mama Tambien
Mama Mia Rachel Getting Married Its Complicated
-
8/13/2019 Courtship and Dating2
30/50
Post-Modern Forms
Confluent relations (coming together) Fluid (seeking its own level; homeostasis) Plastic (subject to personal alterations)
Desire is the starting- and end-point Customized traditions (End of Great Traditions) Whatever is the reason it is a reason to get
married Rules, Roles & Rituals are there to be replaced or
transgressed
CONDITIONS FOR FORMS OF COMMITMENT
-
8/13/2019 Courtship and Dating2
31/50
PERIOD CONDITIONS FORCOMMITMENT
FORMS OF COMMITMENTMEN WOMEN
Pre-Modern SOCIO-CULTURALTEMPLATES
FAMILY-SUPPORT STABILITY
Modern RATIONAL (MALESCIENTIST)
ECONOMIC (FATHERING) LIBERAL (MALE
POLITICIAN)
Post-Modern MULTIPLE CHOICES INDIVIDUAL LEVEL BEYOND GREAT
TRADITIONS
HALO-HALO
-
8/13/2019 Courtship and Dating2
32/50
What now? Where to? How?
Youth for Christ? Singles for Christ? Couples for Christ? What did Jesus say?
Kingdom of God values other-centered (vs. patriarchy and dictatorship) sharing of self (vs. addicts, vs. homeostasis) No exploitation of oxytocin, prolactin, and estrogen Respect of self, women, and the environment
-
8/13/2019 Courtship and Dating2
33/50
Love Styles
Hendrick & Hendrick (1993):
Had subjects write personal account or story
of a romantic relationship.
Did a factor analysis on prevalence ofdifferent themes/adjectives
Found 6 love styles romantic partners tendto have similar love styles (Morrow et al, 1995)
-
8/13/2019 Courtship and Dating2
34/50
Love Styles
Eros Passionate Love
Love at first sight
34% of subjects rate high on this scale
Men typically have higher ratings
Sample Question: My lover and I wereattracted to each other immediately afterwe first met.
-
8/13/2019 Courtship and Dating2
35/50
Love Styles
Storge Friendship Love
Very close friendship becomes love
66% of subjects rate high on this scale
Women typically have higher ratings
Sample Question: Love is really a deepfriendship, not a mysterious, mysticalemotion.
-
8/13/2019 Courtship and Dating2
36/50
Love Styles
Ludus Game-Playing Love
Flirtatious and not committed
2% of subjects rate high on this scale
Men typically have higher ratings
Sample Question: I have sometimes had tokeep my two lovers from finding out abouteach other.
-
8/13/2019 Courtship and Dating2
37/50
Love Styles
Mania Possessive Love
Feeling of ownership over lover
2% of subjects rate high on this scale
Women typically have higher ratings
Sample Question: I cannot relax if Isuspect that my lover is with somebodyelse.
-
8/13/2019 Courtship and Dating2
38/50
Love Styles
Pragma Logical Love
Cognitive appreciation for others quality
17% of subjects rate high on this scale
Women typically have higher ratings
Sample Question: It is best to lovesomebody with a similar background.
-
8/13/2019 Courtship and Dating2
39/50
Love Styles
Agape Selfless Love
Putting ones lover above ones self
2% of subjects rate high on this scale
Highly correlated with religiosity
Sample Question: I would rather sufferthan let my lover suffer.
-
8/13/2019 Courtship and Dating2
40/50
Triarchic Model of Love
Three aspects of love (Sternberg, 1986):
Intimacy: Closeness two people feel
psychologically, how well partners understandeach other.
Passion: The amount of physical/sexual attraction
and romance.Commitment: The cognitive factors such as thedecision to maintain the relationship. Cf. runners
body surrendering, but mind still fights to finish.
-
8/13/2019 Courtship and Dating2
41/50
Triarchic Model of Love
Intimacy = Liking
Passion =Infatuation
Commitment =Empty Love
I + P = RomanticLove
I + C =Companionate Love
P + C = FatuousLove
ConsummateLove
PRAGMA AGAPE
-
8/13/2019 Courtship and Dating2
42/50
EROS
PRAGMA
AGAPESTORGE
AGAPE
EROS
STORGEPRAGMA
PRAGMA
STORGE
EROSAGAPE
STORGE
AGAPE
PRAGMAEROS
-
8/13/2019 Courtship and Dating2
43/50
What can we do?
February 14th strategies and tactics Poem Letter Reminders
-
8/13/2019 Courtship and Dating2
44/50
Equity Theory
Homans, 1969; Messick & Cook, 1983
Economic model of love
Rewards include love, companionship,consolation, sexual gratification, socialacceptance
Costs include work to maintainrelationship, conflict, compromise, sacrificeof other opportunities for relationships
-
8/13/2019 Courtship and Dating2
45/50
Equity Theory
Your Benefits Partners Benefits Your Contributions Partners Contributions
Comparison Level = average expected outcome ofthe relationshipComparisons for alternatives = expectation ofwhat could be received in a different relationshipInvestment = what must be put into a relationshipthat can not be recovered if the relationship ends.
=
-
8/13/2019 Courtship and Dating2
46/50
Successful Relationships
Terman et al (1935)
Investigated hundreds of couples, and
looked at the 100 happiest, 100 least happy(but still married) and 100 divorcedcouples.
500 item psychological scale
-
8/13/2019 Courtship and Dating2
47/50
Link from Gender Differences
What women talk about more:Sexual behavior, Sexual feelings, Dating and
romantic relationships, Making out," The
dangers of sex, Abstinence, How attractivemembers of the other sex were, How attractivethey themselves were, Date rape and
ContraceptionWhat men talk about more:
Masturbation
-
8/13/2019 Courtship and Dating2
48/50
Link from Gender Differences
So where to the stereotypes come from?
Go outwith
Sleep with
Men 56 91
Women 47 0
-
8/13/2019 Courtship and Dating2
49/50
Female Courtship Rituals
Womens flirting behavior Eibl -Eibesfeldt (1989):
1) Smile
2) Lift Eyebrows in fast jerky motion3) Open their eyes wide
4) Lower their eyelids
5) Tilt heads down and to the side
6) Look away
-
8/13/2019 Courtship and Dating2
50/50
Male Courtship Rituals
Male courtship rituals:
Submissive displays: Palms up, shoulder shrug,
tilt head.Dominance displays: Entering personal space,
putting arm around shoulder, swagger.
Resources displays: Paying for food, drink.Wearing expensive clothes. Bragging.