Supportive Conversation
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Transcript of Supportive Conversation
Supportive ConversationSupportive Conversation
A workshop forA workshop forAll teaching staffAll teaching staffDeveloped by Developed by Dr Ray BaleDr Ray Bale
5 Conversation Tools5 Conversation Tools
#1 Conversation Land #1 Conversation Land MinesMines
#2 Conversation #2 Conversation HotspotsHotspots
#3 The Way We #3 The Way We Respond to Respond to Engagement with Engagement with OthersOthers
#4 The Questioner’s #4 The Questioner’s FrameworkFramework
#5 Effective #5 Effective DelegationDelegation
A Conversation
Voice
Physical Behaviours
Face
Conversation Partner
HumanNatureHearing
Seeing
Location
Purpose
Text
The Map is not the Territory
Conversation is:-Highly interactive
-- Has many components-Is holisticConversation is a skill
-It requires practise-- We move through the learning cycle
-- When it’s second nature-It’s a very powerful tool
A Conversation can only be effective If you have a clear purpose
Conversation Landmines
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The Destructive Power of ‘Why?’
Conversation Landmine
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‘Calm down’ or ‘Be reasonable’
( Give him or her a pen and paper and say: ‘Write it down.’)
Conversation Landmine
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‘Because those are the rules.’
Conversation Landmine
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‘You never . . .’ or
‘You always . .’
Conversation Landmine
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‘Why can’t you be reasonable’
Conversation Landmine
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Ego-statements.
Conversation Landmine
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Suggesting improvements
Conversation Landmine
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Waiting to pounce
Conversation Landmine
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Looking or thinking elsewhere
Conversation Landmine
ConversationHot Spots 17
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Reciprocation
Conversation Hotspot
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Commitment and Consistency
Conversation Hotspot
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Social Truth
Conversation Hotspot
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Liking and being liked
Conversation Hotspot
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Expertise and authority
Conversation Hotspot
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Scarcity
Conversation Hotspot
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Conversation Tool # 3 ‘The Way We Respond to Engagement with Others.’
what is happening on the other side of the conversation?
Human Nature Motivation to act.Fear
Desire
Indicators
Body
VoiceFace
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Conversation Tool # 3
‘The Way We Respond to Engagement with Others.’
How are we perceived in a conversation?
Professional relationship
Social RelationshipExpectations
Location
Body
Voice
Face
Text
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Conversation Tool # 3
‘The Way We Respond to Engagement with Others.’
How do we understand the factors driving the conversation partner’s behaviour?
EmpathySympathy is an emotion.
Empathy is a tool
Empathy uses emotion and reason to understand
Empathy
Environment
Culture
Personal History
Prospects
Home
Income
Family Aspirations
Town
Group
Beliefs
Extended family
Traditions
Social truthsFood
Drink
Sleep
Siblings
Friends
Post-School
External Support
Empathy in Action
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Conversation Tool # 3 ‘
‘The Way We Respond to Engagement with Others.’
What are conditional responses? What do they look, sound, feel like?
What is said and what is actually happening are not always the same…….
Eyes Face Posture Voice
Direction
Breathing
Trust your non-conscious perception
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Conversation Tool # 3
‘The Way We Respond to Engagement with Others.’
How clear are you on the purpose of the conversation before you commence talking?
What is your goal?
When do you want it to happen?
How will you monitor progress?
Have you rehearsed the conversation?
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‘ The Questioner’s Framework’
Objective Questions
Data questions.
Common ground based on common information
Specific
Open-ended
Examples:‘What time did this happen?’‘Who was present?’‘What was said?’‘Where were people standing?‘Who spoke first?’‘Where was…..?’
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Reflective QuestionsFeelings Perceptions
Internal responses
Valid. Nothing to do with facts.
Establishing rapportExamples:‘What did it remind you of?’‘How does it make you feel?’‘Where did you struggle with this?’‘What surprised you about it?‘How did you feel when you found out?‘What do you remember about…?’‘’What reason did you have for …?’
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Conversation Tools N# 4 ‘ The Questioner’s Framework’
Interpretive Questions
Brings together Objective, Reflective and Third Party information.
Impact on others
Thoughts and feelings of others
Expectations from others
What will happen if nothing changes?
Examples:‘What does this mean for the future?’‘How will this affect your relations with…?’‘If nothing is done, what will happen?’‘What do others think and feel about this?’‘What have we learned about the impactthis has on . . .?’‘What would you change if you could?’
31Conversation Tools # 4 ‘ The Questioner’s Framework’
Action Questions
What to do.
Choice is vital.
Three options minimum.
Actor must formulate choices.
Examples:‘What can you do about this in the future?’‘What can you do to change things?’‘What do you want to see happen?’‘What help/support do you need to do this?’‘What new information/knowledge do you needto move forward?’
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Decisional Questions.
Ownership of the future action
Commitment
Responsibility
Necessity for a timeline
Review
Examples:‘Which is the best course of action?’‘What is the first step in implementing thiscourse of action?’‘What does the course of action require youto do?’‘When will you begin to do that?‘How will you/I know you are succeeding?
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Conversation Tools # 4 ‘ The Questioner’s Framework’
Practice Conversation:
‘The Staff Bully’
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Practice Conversation:
‘The Aggressive Parent’
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Conversation Tools # 4 ‘ The Questioner’s Framework’
Questions and Discussion
37Conversation Tool # 5 ‘Effective Delegation’
Why delegate?
What is delegation?OutputStrategies Hours
InHoursOut Value of strategy.
Do it yourself 1 1 Only for highly sensitiveor life-changing tasks
Assign to other(s)
Depends ontraining req.
Depends on no.of repetitions
Best practice for regular and routine work
Delegate Varies withlevel of delegation
Multiples ofdelegationinput time
Most productive way to achieve high levels ofcommitment, responsibilitytaking and output.
What are our alternativesAnd how do they compare?
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Key Points of Delegation Practice.
1] The goal of delegation is threefold:-Effective use of resources.-- Staff Development-- Effective use of time 2] Delegate according to skill level,
Knowledge and experience of Delegatee.
3] Analyze situation in terms of importance of taskand existing skills, knowledge and experience levelsof staff.
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The Four Levels of Delegation
Level Type of delegation, support, praise and redirect Delegatee
Level 1. Instructing – tell, show, model-Frequent monitoring and meeting, check carefully-Oversight of decision making and implementation-High level of support. Praise satisfactory progressat incremental achievement level. Redirect asneeded
Beginner-enthusiastic-energetic-inexperienced
Level 2. Coaching - show, model-monitoring, check task achievement-- Oversight of major decisions-- High level of support, frequent meetings-- Praise progress and incremental outcomes. -Redirect as needed.
Experienced personmoving into new area of responsibility
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The Four Levels of Delegation
Level Type of delegation, support, praise and redirect Delegatee
Level 3 Assisting – show, model-Less frequent monitoring, observe that task isbeing done.-- Discussion of major decisions-- Regular meetings as needed-- Expectation of success-- Praise progress and stage outcomes. Redirectas needed.
BeginningexecutiveExperiencedperson in familiar area of responsibility
Level 4. Delegating – learning with-Discuss requirements of task, accept suggestions-- Informal monitoring-- all decisions made by delegatee-- praise outcomes and progress-- no need for redirect
Highly competent.experienced andcommitted person
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Conversation Tool # 5 ‘Effective Delegation’
Two Illustrations Why Levels of Delegation Are Useful.
Low Support
HighSupport
Directing Delegating
Level 1.
Level 2.
Level 3. Level 4.
Effectiveness InclineChart
42Conversation Tool # 5 ‘Effective Delegation’ Competence and Commitment
Chart
Delegatee Profile
COMPETENCE
High
Low
COMMITMENTLow High
Level 4.Delegatee
Level 3 Delegatee
Level 2 Delegatee
Level 1 Delegatee
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Practise:
Planning the Delegation
Process.
Questions and
Discussion
That’s All Folks!
Ray BaleAltus Quality Coaching
0427 311 112(02) 63729991