POSITIVEPOSITIVE

DISCIPLINE DISCIPLINE and CHILDREN and CHILDREN

Steve Vitto &

What is Discipline?What is Discipline? providing training that develops self-control,

character, or orderliness and efficiency to instruct or educate; to prepare by instruction; to

train to love, guide, nurture, & support providing strategies that build community and

relationships focusing on self-control and sustained learning viewing behavioral occurrences as opportunities to

teach and support

"...subjection to rule; submissiveness to control; to keep in subjection." "...subjection to rule; submissiveness to control; to keep in subjection." It seems there are two schools of thought on what discipline is.It seems there are two schools of thought on what discipline is.One involves helping a person function more effectively in the world,One involves helping a person function more effectively in the world,and the other involves keeping a person doing what someone else wants and the other involves keeping a person doing what someone else wants him to do--as in slavery.” him to do--as in slavery.”

B.E. Penel PhDB.E. Penel PhD

“…“…rarely have I heard the word rarely have I heard the word disciplinediscipline used to mean helping a child used to mean helping a child function more effectively in the world. The usual meaning involves findingfunction more effectively in the world. The usual meaning involves finding ways to make the child do what the parents want him to do…”ways to make the child do what the parents want him to do…” B.E. Penel PhDB.E. Penel PhD

HISTORICALLY DISCIPLINE HAS HAD

TWO DISTINCT MEANINGS:

Positive Behavioral Support Is a proactive, positive approach toward

child behavior Focuses on developing replacement skills Focuses on sustained learning of

social/behavior skills over time Develops self control as opposed to

externally controlling children

For Some Discipline Has Taken on Military Connotations

““He needs to do what he is told withoutHe needs to do what he is told without

questioning…”questioning…” ““He needs to know who is in charge.”He needs to know who is in charge.” ““He needs to learn that when he messes He needs to learn that when he messes

up there are painful consequences.”up there are painful consequences.”

"My vision is that all children are raised lovingly "My vision is that all children are raised lovingly and non-violently and with discipline that and non-violently and with discipline that

motivates them through love, not through fear.”motivates them through love, not through fear.”

- Deborah Critzer, Positive Parenting- Deborah Critzer, Positive Parenting  

What is Not Positive Discipline? Approaches intended to hurt or cause discomfort Leaving a child in the dark about natural or logical consequences Consequences that humiliate, degrade, or bully Strategies leading to external control or “boss management” that

do not involve guiding or teaching Strategies based on revenge, retaliation, or “winning” a power

struggle. Cookbook approaches that fail to view children as having unique learning styles and fail to focus on investing in

community and relationships View behavioral occurrences as an opportunity to punish or

establish external control

What is Missing in “Cook Book” Approaches

An emphasis on the uniqueness of each child A focus on individual assessment and need A focus on each child’s learning style and history An admission that there are no quick fixes, no miracle

cures, and no replacement for spending the time and effort that is required in developing a loving meaningful relationship with a child

An admission that the “true expert” is a person that realizes there is no one solution, no one path for all children

A realization that all behaviors meet needs and that each child’s needs is a unique balance of nature vs. nurture

What is the appeal of cook book What is the appeal of cook book approaches?approaches? Quick and easyQuick and easy Make us feel goodMake us feel good Are convenientAre convenient Eliminate the confusion of using multiple Eliminate the confusion of using multiple

approaches approaches Wrapped in a slick packageWrapped in a slick package Are generally sold by a dynamic speakerAre generally sold by a dynamic speaker Are a great deal for the moneyAre a great deal for the money

View of the Child POSITIVE NEGATIVE- Inquisitive & Curious - Selfish and Manipulative- Innocent and Naïve - Deceitful & Cunning- A heart worth reaching -A “little demon” or “monster”- Capable of self control -Need to be controlled- Need for Autonomy -Need to be managed -Can learn to process -Words and processing are a and problem solve a waste of time-Responds to love and - Responds to punishment and relationship logical consequences-Proactive - Reactive“The child learns best when “ He deserves,he is winning, he is he is lead and supported getting way with …”

Positive Behavioral Supports for Parents

Recognize that behaviors meet needs Teach children healthy ways to meet needs Demonstrate, model, and practice Reinforce effort and celebrate

accomplishments Provide preventative environments Provide consequences that teach and

restore

Acknowledge Needs of Behavior Attention Escape/Avoidance Tangible Power & Control Anger/Frustration Sensory Love and Acceptance

Recommended Programs and Recommended Programs and Resources for Positive ParentingResources for Positive Parenting

Positive Discipline Discipline with Dignity positiveparenting.com Effective Black Parenting Program www.teachmorelovemore.org Positive Behavioral Supports The Boys Town Curriculum

Video Training Series

Albert Schweitzer once said: "There are three ways we teach our children. The first is by example; the second is by example; and the third is by example."

“If you treat an individual as he is, he will stay as he is, but if you treat him as if he were what he ought to be and could be he will become what he ought to be and could be.”

Wolfgang Goethe

THE END

For More Information on Positive Approaches for challenging behaviorWrite Steve Vitto at svitto@muskegonisd.orgOr send for Steve’s Book, In Search of a Heart, Creating Caring, Conscience, and Character in All Kid (A text in using positive a relationship driven approaches for all children), Copyright, 2007This 450 page text contains researched based methods for implementing positive classroom management strategies and treating children with severe behavior challenges (Cost: $30.00)

A 2007 PBS PROJECT