Squeaky Clean Legacy 16.5A: Elaine the Lovable
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Transcript of Squeaky Clean Legacy 16.5A: Elaine the Lovable
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Whenwelastle+theSqueakyCleanLegacy,theGenera8onNineheiress,Elaine,hadjustbecomeatoddler.
Elaine:Wanttobeloved.Dinadan:What’sthemaFer,princess?OfcourseDaddylovesyou.Andatthatpoint,therewasabitofadelay.
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ButIreallyhadanexcellentexcuse.
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Cassius:ARGH,Ma,whydoyoukeepdoingthingslikethis?WHYdoesshekeepdoingthingslikethis?Youknowhowmuchyou’reembarrassingme,Ma?DOyou?MA??Flavius:Um,Cassius?
Cassius:Dad?MAKEHERSTOP.
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Flavius:Yourmother’saKnowledgeSim,whoknows?Idon’tmind.Sheputsupwithmyhobbies.
De:Honey,yourparents’marriageistheirbusiness,‘k?
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Pfft,everyone’ssojudgmental.Iswearthiswasatotalaccident.
De:Prof?Getbackhere?Helllooooo?
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Although,yes,mySimselfdidgetagreenmemoryoutofit.Anyway,itslowedmedownaliFle.
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Elaine,meanwhile,wasdevo8ngherselftobecomingascharisma8candcharmingaspossible.
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Anditseemedtobeworking.
Elaine:Gawaine?WantaFen8on.Gawaine:Aw,Princess,comehere.
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Gawainehasoldestbrothersyndromeandfussesoverallofthem,eventhoughheandParsifalarereallytwins,so—
Gawaine:I’ms8lltheoldest,andI’ms8lltheleader,andI’ms8llinchargeofthisbandofknightsandofourPrincess,andthatmakesmeresponsible.It’snotasthoughI’mpar8cularlyfondofPalomides.
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EveryonewasverycurioustomeetthenexttolastGoodytwoshoesheiress,soElaine’sbirthdaypartywasverywellaFended‐‐
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‐‐evenifeveryonewasn’tpayingstrictaFen8on.
Jack:Ulysses,Iamgreatlyapprecia8veofyourconfidenceinmypowersofadvocacy,butIthinkitisadvisableforyoutocometocertaindecisionswithoutaskingadvicefromyourpaternalparent.
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Palomides:Really?Igettogofirst?Really?
‐‐well,that’safirst.
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Palomides:Ithinkwe’vegotenoughPopularityKnightsoftheRoundTable.I’mgoingtodosomethingelse‐‐
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Family,likehisDaddy.AndI’mgoingtoforgivehimforit,partlybecausehehadthesensetorollEduca8onMinisterinsteadofoneofthosedreadfulonesthatyoucan’tdoun8ltheSimisaboutsixty,andpartlybecausehe’ssogoshdarnedlikeable.
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EveryonemostwantedtoseeElainegrowup,though,whichistherealreasonPalomidesgottogofirst.
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Gawaine:Iamimportantenoughtogetintheshot.
Elaine:Everyonelovesme!
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BothGrandmaSophiaandElaine’smotherPenelopewereforemostincheeringElaineon.They’retheoneswhoknowbestwhattheheiressisupagainst,andElaineistheonewhomusttakethatonnext.
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“Go,go,goElaine!”
EvenMaxmanagedtolookslightlyenthused,whichisalotforhim,consideringthathisnicknameisDr.Deathandthathehasn’tsmiledsincehewassix.
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Elaine:Everyone lovesme.
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SheispreFylovable,oratleastsweet‐looking.Youhavetogiveherthat.
SheknowsherdutyasaSqueakyCleanheiress,too,atleastenoughtogrowupinpink.
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Elainealsogotpinkfrillyclothes.
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Palomides:Yep.It’sallyours,Elaine.
Elaine:Why?Palomides:Becauseyou’retheonlygirl.WegetpackedintheArmorynextdoor,wherewecanprotectyou.
Elaine:Why?Palomides:Becauseyou’retheheiress.YouhavetogetmarriedandhavethelastliFlegirl...
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Elaine:Andfallinlove...Sigh...Love...Lovable...
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**hackkaffwheeze**
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ElainemadefriendswithhercousinNausicaaandhadalovelybirthdayparty.That’sreallyfortunate.Iusedtoavoideveningpar8esbecauseoftheghosts,buteversinceIrebuilt,theghostshaven’truinedthepar8es...yet.Theyhauntandspookandscare,butthey’vele+thepar8esalone,sofar.
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A+erwards,everyoneposedforagroupportrait.Ididn’taskPenelopetogetinDinadan’slap.Shedidthatonherown.IhopeElaineisn’tgecngoverlyop8mis8cideasaboutrela8onships.
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Ontheotherhand,youcan’tblameElaineforpinkandfluffythinking.Thegirllivesinapinkhousewiththreeoverprotec8veolderbrothersandaheartshapedfishpondinback.
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A+erwards,theteenagedcousinswentforanou8ngdowntown.Nausicaaiss8llwearingherschooluniform;some8mesIwonderwhetherHeadmastersRyan,Walter,andJikamatusolapproveofthat.Albert,LyFon’sgrandson,justdoesn’tlikelosing.
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Gawaine:Knightsaresupposedtobefamiliarwithallthechivalricarts.
Isupposekaraokecouldbeconsideredtheequivalentofcourtlylovepoetry.
Gawaine:“Whenamaaaaanlovesawomannnnnn”...Ontheotherhand,maybeyoushouldstopnow.
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HowdoIknowthatElainewillbetheheiress?Well...PenelopeandDinadanTriedForBabyonemore8me.
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AndthebabyhadeverybitasniceofapartyasPalomidesandElaine.
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ButnomaFerwhatIdid,thebabywass8llaboy.KailooksverymuchlikeParsifal,andtheybothlookverymuchlikeDinadan.Andfivebabiesareenough.Maybethey’renotenoughforDinadan,buttheyareenoughforme.
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See?Elainedoesn’tmindsharingaFen8onwithheryoungerbrother.She’shappyforhimtohaveaniceparty,too.
She’sjustleadingaSmustlesoeveryonewilladoreher.
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ThankgoodnessforPalomidesandhisFamily‐Mindedactude.Hedoesn’tmindbaby‐sicngKai.Well...mostly.Palomides:Andwhenyougrowup,we’llREALLYbeoutofmedievalcustomcontent.Luckily,MaxiscameupwiththePERFECToufitforyou.Heh,heh.
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ZaneJacquet:No,Idon’tactuallylikedoinghomework,butatleastIhavedaddieswhoarewillingtoteachmehow,right?That’sagoodthing.Parsifal:MeetSomeoneNew,+1,000.
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Smartkid.Hedidn’thavesuchagood8meofitwhenhewasintheDevereauxLegacy.Likehisadop8vefather,Cassidy(Ve8nari)Marius‐Jacquet,hewasimportedasachildforthesolepurposeofgivinghimafreshstart.
“TheSqueakyCleanLegacy:SpoilingLegacySimsRoFenSince2007”
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Zaneevengotabirthdayparty,withfriends,rela8ves,andrandomtownies.
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CassidyandZane,likealladoptedchildren,hadacompletememorywipe,soneitherofthemrememberanythingabouttheirpasts.Thisismostlyagoodthing,althoughitmeansthatCassdoesn’trealizethatSpiderJerusalemVe8nariishisbrother.SJacceptsthisbecausehe’dreallyratherthatCassbehappy.
DeniseJacquet:It’sjustamazinghowmuchyoulooklikeZane,youngman,especiallysinceyouaren’trelatedtoanyoneinthishouseatall.
SpiderJerusalem:Um...Yes?Ortherecouldbeanotherexplana8on,perhaps?
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Thered‐headedmannexttoCassidyisZane’s“real”uncle,AlgernonMarius.
Ineverclaimedthatfamilyrela8onshipswereuncomplicated.
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Zane:AndI’mgoingtowishtobe...
Dousallafavorandshutup.FamilySimswhowishforthingsoutlouddon’thaveahappytrackrecord.
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Justgodancewithyourfriend,LenoreMidlock.
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Lenore’smotherCarmilla,andherfather,StanleyLegacy,wereinvitedfortheoccasion.Dicreasy,ontheotherhand,walkedbyandinvitedherself.
Dicreasy:HaveImen8onedbeforehowmuchIadmireyou,Stanley?Stanley:AnumberofladySimselveshavesaidthat,yes.Thisonemightbea8nybitdifferent,Stanley.[DicreasyistheauthoroftheVictorian Legacy,andhenceStanleyhimself.]
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Lenoreisafairlynormalgirl,consideringthatalmosteveryoneinherfamilyisavampire,awerewolf,oraplantsim.Shejustenjoysspending8mewithhergreat‐grandfathersplayinginthefamilyband,theCounselsofDespera8on.
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Lenore’sgreat‐grandfatherElroy’smamawasanalien,nowdepartedforherhomeplanet.Herothergreat‐grandfather,CountWhoopie,usedtobeavampire.
ButhegotbeFer.
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AquickglanceinattheRomans—
Iget8redofsomeSimac8vi8es.This,however,isnotoneofthem.IlikewatchingSimsTeachtoddlershowtoTalk.
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Ithinkit’sevennicerwhenit’saSimselfdoingtheteaching.This,asyoumayhaveguessed,isPurpleBunny’sliFleboy,Duodecimus.
OtherPB’sbeenintheneighborhoodsincetheLegacyfamily’sthirdgenera8on,canyoubelievethat?ThislegacyANDherPira8calLegacyhavebeengoingonforalooooong8me.
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Closeupofsixgenera8onsofSimselfgene8cs.Everybodysay“d’aawwww.”
IttakesthatlongtogetCassius’faceoutofthefamily.
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Orikes:Hey‐‐‐ifI’magrandma,howcomeI’ms8llsoyoung‐looking?
Goodluck?Timecheats?Somethinglikethat?
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Also,Orikesrepaintedmostofthefamilyportraitsbackthere.Ifyoulookclosely,youcanseeDeniseAvidreader(PuritanicalGreenThumb)andPenguingirl(PenguinoLegacy).
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Sadly,neitherSimselvesnorRomansarehelicopterparents,soDuodecimusgrewupwhilehisgrandfatherTer8uswastellingOrikesaDirtyJokeandgreat‐grandfatherDecimuswassulking.
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Duodecimus:YoureallyhavegivenyourRomankidstheshortendofthes8ck,haven’tyou?
Notforlong:Flaviuscomplainstoomuch.
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Worthing:Yeah,youbeFerfixthat.I’monlyinoneshot.Onelousyshot.
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“AndVespasiangotinTWOshots.Isthatfair?”
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Nope,butVespasianisaCaesar.
TheRomansWILLgetmoreface8me,kids.
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Besides,whocouldresisttakingpicturesofTelemachus?
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NausicaaisNOTgoodatbeingemployed.It’sprobablycrueltomakePleasureSimsgetjobs,anyway,butshe’sgoingtotheGoodygirlsSorority,soshehastoearnallofherscholarshipsthehardway.Pleasure,Fi+yDreamDates,whichsuitsNausicaaaboutaswellasaglassslipperdoesagoldfish.
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S8ll,shedeservescheeringup,soIlethercallthematchmakerforadate.
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Yippee?
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Nausicaalikeshimalot,anditalladdsuptothoseFi+yDreamDates.
Don’ttellherthatImaynotsendLeotocollegewithher.Theremaybeotherplans.
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LionelPleasant:Howdoyoulikethemacn’cheese,jerk?
AngusPleasant:I’mnotdignifyingthatwithananswer.
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What’sthepointofhavingagender‐reversedPleasantviewiftheynevergetplayed,right?DaniellePleasant:Here,honey—havesomeniceso+macn’cheese.Itwon’tbesohardonyournose.Lionel:*snurfsnarfsnurf*Angus:Ew.
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Actually,LionelseemstobehavingaslightlybeFer8meofitasaboy;partlybecauseImadehimdohishomework,andpartlybecausehebringspeoplehomefromschoolandmakesfriends......WithgullibleSims.Simswithlowstandards.
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Zane:Sure,I’llbeyourfriend!I’msureyouandyourfamilyareverynicepeopleandnothos8leanddysfunc8onalatall!
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It’shardtobringDustyoutofalousyteenagedlife,butshedidwanttoteachliFlesisterBellesomeskills...
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‐‐andtheresultwasthatBelleGrewUpWell,whichispreFydarnedhardintheBrokefamily.
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IcheatedthefamilyjustenoughforBelletohaveapreFydress.
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SheevenbroughtTelemachushomefromschool—
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‐‐andmadefriendswithhim.
Don’ttheylookcutetogether?
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Congratula8ons,Belle!YouhavealiFlesister!Belle:Um,Daddy?Howdidthishappen?Brandon:It’saliFlebitcomplicated.
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Matchmaker:AndwhatcanIdoforyou,dearie?
DaryaDreamer:It’saliFlebitcomplicated.
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Darya:So,actually,I’mreallyinlovewithsomeoneelse.BUT,he’salreadyengaged,andI’vepreFymuchgivenuphope.
SoIfigureditwas8metomoveon.Isthatokwithyou?Touristyguy:Tellmemoreaboutmyeyes.
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DaryahadthreeboltswithTouristyGuy.Itmighthaveworked,althoughIhateitwhenSimsgetfixedupwithBVnon‐playables.“Youhavetoinvitemeoverforthreedaysornotatall.”Whatisthat?
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Dionne:Thereyougo,Mom!Ithinkyoulookgreat.Ithinkyou’lllookprecerthanthebride.
Darya:Oh,you.
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IcanseewhyDaryamightwantto,though.
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AlexandraGoth:Excuseme?You’reinmychair?Andyou’rethemaid?AndIdon’tthinkCaspianinvitedyou.KeanuLangerak:*sniff*WhyamIneverthebride?
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NinoCaliente:Hey,Mor8cia—lookingsmokin’inblack,I’vegoFasay.Mor8cia:Shh!MartyStuPleasant:Idon’tno8cethingsthatmightbesociallyawkward.
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Keanu:What’saboyhavetodo,anyway?It’sbecauseI’mamaid,that’sit.OrbecauseI’mnamedKeanu.Bebrutallyhonest.
Alexandra:Uh,thisisbrutallyhonest:I’mten.Oh,hi,Mrs.Dreamer.
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CaspianGoth:I,Caspian,takethee,Donna...
Donna:Youmustbekiddingme.
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Donna:Ew,no.Idon’twanttomarryyou.Nota+erwhatyoudid.
~~~severaldaysearlier~~~
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Caspian:Youknow,Donna’salwaysremindedmeofmymother?Howfreakyisthat?Doyouthinkthat’snormal?Donna:HOW.DARE.YOU.
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BOOINNNGOONINNNG
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Donna:Howdareyouletthatwomanholdhandswithyou!JustbecauseI’msleepingwithseveralotherwomendoesn’tgiveyoutherighttofoolaround!Whodoyouthinkyouare?MartyStuPleasant:Idon’tno8cethingsthataresociallyawkward.
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Darya:Pssst!Youknowyourfiance?Caspian:No,what?Darya:Ithinkshe’sa8nybitannoyed.
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Mrs.CrumpleboFom:Andletthatbealessontoyou,youngman!Don’tevercallotherSimsupandinvitethemforOu8ngsDowntown!
Caspian:OWOWOW
(Player8p:neveraccepttheinvita8on,either,unlessyoudon’tmindthiskindofthinghappeningonfreewill.)
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Darya:Let’sboogie,pregnantguy!
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Guests:Sooo....whathappensatthiskindofnon‐wedding?Dowegetthegi+sback,orwhat?
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Caspian:Bbbllllllbblll
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Therapist:Isclearlyamessagefromsubconscious.Secretlyyoupickwomanwhoremindsyouofmother,undyouWILLthismarriagetoavertundsoyouARRANGEthisfailureforyourself,ja?Caspian:Umm...AndMrs.CrumpleboFom.Ididthat,too?Therapist:Jawohl!...Thatwillbeonehundreddollars.ItakeMastercard.
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Darya:Howcanyoujusteatchipswhenyou’vehadamajorrela8onshipbreakdown?
Donna:HowcanyouNOTeatchipswhenyou’vehadamajorrela8onshipbreakdown?
Darya:Withoutmargaritas?Donna:Goodpoint.
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Darya:Oooo,I’msoterriblysurprised!
Mor8cia:Youseemlikeanicegirl.Andthosecakesareexpensive.
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Themarried‐a‐rich‐SimangleissomethingIhadn’tthoughtabout,butIcan’tsayI’msorry.Darren—excuseme,Darya—isflatbroke.
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Donna:Idon’tseewhyIshouldgohome,justbecauseitisn’tmyweddinganymore.Alexandra:Willtherebecake?It’salmostmybed8me.
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Keanu:Youhussy!Howdareyou?IthoughtIwastheonlyone!Donna:Youcametomyweddingthinkingyouweretheonlyone?Nino:Huh?Iwasjustbeingfriendly.
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MartyStu:Aren’tweluckytohaveaperfectmarriage?
Danielle:Andthatyouneverno8ceanythingsociallyawkward?Yes,weare.
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Danielle:Darya,thatwasaperfectlylousywedding.
Darya:Yes,butitwasMYwedding.
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Elaine:Eventuallythestorywillgetbacktome...Promiseitwill,butyoucan’texpectthedramaqueensofPleasantviewtostayoutofthestoryforever.Plus,someofthemaregoingtocollegewithyou.Elaine:Luckyme.(ThankstoMarhis,whomadegender‐reversedPleasantview.Andexpectthesecondpartofthechaptersoon!)