Sms

One mind blowing interview

Interviewer : Tell me about yourself.Candidate: I am Rameshwar Kulkarni. I did my Tele Communication engineering from BabanRao Dhole-Patil Inst it ute of Technology.

Interviewer : BabanRao Dhole-Patil Inst it ute of Technology? I had never heard of this college before!Candidate : Great! Even I had not heard of it before getting an admission into it ..What happened is – due to cricket world cup I scored badly! in 12th.I was getting a paid seat in a good college. But my father said (I prefer to call him ‘baap’) – “I can not invest so much of money”.(The baap actually said – “I will never waste so much of money on you”). So I had to join this college. Frankly speaking this name – BabanRao Dhole-Patil, can at the most be related to a Shetakari Mahavidyalaya

Interviewer: ok, ok. It seems you have taken 6 years to complete your engineering.Candidate : Actually I tried my best to finish it in 4 years. But you know, these cricket matches and football world cup, and tennis tournaments. It is difficult to concentrate. So I flunked in 2nd and 3rd year. So in all I took 4 + 2 = 7 years.

Interviewer: But 4+2 is 6.Candidate: Oh, is it ? You know I always had KT in maths. But I will try to keep this in mind. 4+2 is 6, good, thanks. These cricket matches really affect exams a lot.. I think they should ban it .

Interviewer : Good to know that you want cricket matches to be banned.Candidate : No, no… I am talking about Exams!!

Interviewer: Ok, What is your biggest achievement in life?Candidate : Obviously, completing my Engineering. My mom never thought I would complete it . In fact, when I flunked in 3rd year, she was looking for a job for me in BEST (Buscorporation in Maharashtra ) through some relative.

Interviewer : Do you have any plans of higher study?Candidate: he he he.. Are you kidding? Completing ‘lower’ education it self was so much of pain!!

Interviewer : Let’s talk about technical stuff. On which platforms have you worked?Candidate : Well, I work at SEEPZ, so you can say Andheri is my current platforms. Earlier I was at Vashi center. So Vashi was my platform then. As you can see I have experience of different platforms! (Vashi and Andheri are the places in Mumbai)

Interviewer : And which languages have you used?Candidate : Marathi, Hindi, English. By the way, I can keep quiet in German, French, Russian and many other languages.

Interviewer: Why VC is better than VB?Candidate : It is a common sense – C comes after B. So VC is a higher version than VB. I heard very soon they are coming up w it h a new language VD!

http://groups.yahoo.com/subscribe/enjoythemasti


Interviewer: Do you know anything about Assembly Language?Candidate: Well, I have not heard of it . But I guess, this is the language our ministers and MPs use in assembly.

Interviewer : What is your general project experience?Candidate : My general experience about projects is – most of the times they are in pipeline!

Interviewer: Can you tell me about your current job?Candidate: Sure, Currently I am working for Bata Info Tech ltd. Since joining BIL, I am on Bench. Before joining BIL, I used to think that Bench was another software like Windows.

Interviewer : Do you have any project management experience?Candidate: No, but I guess it shouldn’t be difficult. I know Word and Excel. I can talk a lot. I know how to dial for International phone call and use speaker facility. And very important – I know few words like – ‘Showstoppers ‘ , ‘hot fixes’, ‘SEI-CMM’, ‘quality’, ‘version control’, ‘deadlines’ , ‘Customer Satisfaction’ etc. Also I can blame others for my mistakes!

Interviewer: What are your expectations from our company?Candidate : Not much.1. I should at least get 40,000 in hand..2. I would like to work on a live EJB project. But it should not have deadlines. I personally feel that pressure affects natural talent.3. I believe in flexi-timings.4. Dress Code is against basic freedom, so I would like to wear t-shirt and jeans.5. We must have sat-sun off. I will suggest Wednesday off also, so as to avoid breakdown due to overwork.6. I would like to go abroad 3 times a year on short term preferably 1-2 months) assignments. Personally I prefer US, Australia and Europe. But considering the fact that there are Olympics coming up in China in the current year, I don’t mind going there in that period. As you can see I am modest and don’t have many expectations. So can I assume my selection?

Interviewer : he he he ha ha ha. Thanks for your interest in ourorganization. In fact I was never entertained so much before. Welcome to INFOSYS.

The fellow was appointed in a newly created section ‘Stress Management’ in the HRD of Infosys.

This sardarji goes to see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start approaching,

he was hiding under his seat when his friend asks him ;kyon sardarji, kya baat hai?

Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai.; Sardarji replies ;Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai,

pata hai ki cinema hai, lekin voh to janwar hai, usko kya pata"

2. Brain Tumor



There's a funeral procession of a sardar going on a busy street. All the sardars in the 'mayyat' are dancing the bhangra and singing and general 'balle balle' is

on. The people on the street find it strange that instead of mourning everyone is

celebrating as if its marriage baraat. So one of them asks Santa Singh, ;Singh Saab,

aapka koi sage wala gujar gaya hai aur aap naach rahe ho?; .....comes the reply, ;Haan ji! Hai hi baat badi kushi ki!!! Aaj paheli baar ek sardar brain tumour se mara hai!!!;

3. Photocopy

One Sardar needed two plain papers but he had only one. Do you know what he did:

photocopied the one which he had. sardar are fun aren't

5. One more Plane Crash

Garbachan singh was traveling from Calcutta to Bombay by a plane,

There were one American, one Russian, one Pakistani and some other passengers.

Suddenly something went wrong pilot alarmed that plane lost it's control and some of the passengers have to jump out to rescue the rest of them.

Firstly the American jumped out saying "Jai America"

again the condition didn't change then the Russian jumped out from the plane saying "Jai Russia".

But the condition still the same.

The next is Garbachen's turn he hesitated for a moment and pulled out the Pakistani by saying "Jai India".

6. A Plane journey

A jet ran in to some turbulent weather.

To keep passengers calm, the air hostess brought out the beverage carts.

"I'd like a soda " said the passenger in the front row.

Moving along, the air hostess asked the man behind her if he would like something.

"Yes I would," he replied. "Give me whatever the pilot is drinking!".

7. Crime Story

"I'm going on vacation . Could you suggest a thrilling crime story ?" Santa asks to Banta.

"Here this one is so suspenseful you won't be able to put it down" replies Banta.

"only on the last page do you find out that the gardener did it".

8. New House

Santa meets Banta Santa: "so have you moved to a new house"

Banta: "No."

Santa: "Why not? You advertised to sell your old house, didn't you?"

Banta: "Yes, but when I read the ad, I realized it was just the home I was looking for!".

9. Salt Seller

Do you really sell that much salt? A man asks to a Sardar who is running a grocery shop stocked with thousands of boxes of salt.

"No " says the Sardar. "I sell may be two boxes a month. To tell you the truth, I'm not a good salt seller.

But the one who sell me salt-now he's a good salt seller."

10. Marathon Race

One day Sardar happened to see a marathon race.

"What the guys are doing" asked the sardar.

" We are running a marathon. The winner will get prize" replied one runner.

"Only the winner will get prize! Then why others are participating! !"

Exclaimed the Sardar

13th Floor

One day a sardarji was sitting in his office on the

thirteenth floor building when a man came running in

to his office and shouted "Santa Singh your daughter

Preeto just died in an accident" Sardarji was in

panic.Not knowing what to do he jumped from his office

window. While coming down when he was near the tenth

floor he remembered he didn't have a daughter named

Preeto. When he was near the fifth floor he remembered

he was not married.When he was about to hit the ground

he remembered he was not Santa Singh.

2. Phone Book

A sardar walked up to the front desk of the library

and said, "I borrowed a book last week, but it was the

most boring I've ever read. There was no story

whatsoever, and there were far too many characters!"

The librarian replied, "Oh, you must be the person who

took our phone book."

3. Cows Don't Fly

A sardar was walking along, w! hen he looked up to

observe a bird flying overhead. Suddenly, the bird

dropped a load when it was directly over him. The

Sardar says, "Good thing that cows don't fly."

4. Dark Room

Did you hear about the sardar who asked his friends to

give him all their burnt out light bulbs? He just

bought a camera and wanted to set up a Darkroom.

5. Relaxing

One Sardar was enjoying Sun on a Beach in UK.A lady

came and asked him, " Are you relaxing" Sardar

answered '" No I am Banta Singh" Another Guy Came and

asked! ! ! ! the same Question. Sardar answered " No No Me

! Banta Singh" Third one came and asked the same

question Sardar was totally annoyed and decided to

shift his place. While walking he saw another Sardar

enjoying the Beach. He went and asked him " Are you

Relaxing?" The other Sardar was much educated and

answered "Yes I am relaxing. The Sardar slapped him on

his face and said "Idiot, Sab tere Ko wahahn dhoo! nd

rahe hai aur tu Yahaan Aaram Kar raha hai. "

6. Wash Basin

A Sardarji goes to a hotel and eats heartily. After eating he goes to wash

his hands but starts washing the basin instead. The manager comes running

and asks him, "Prahji, aap kya kar rahe ho?" To this the man replies,

"Oye, tumne hi to idhar board lagaya hai "Wash Basin".

7. Three Engines

Fifteen minutes into the flight from Mankuwa City to Sukhpur city, the

captain announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed..

There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than

scheduled, but we still have three engines left."

Thirty minutes later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and

the flight will take an additional two hours. But don't worry ... we can

fly just fine on

two engines." An hour later the captain announced, "One more engine has

failed and

our arrival will be delayed another three hours.But don't worry ... ! we

still have one

engine left." A sardarji passenger turned to the man in the next seat and

remarked,

"If we lose one more engine,we'll be up here all day!"

8. Detective Job

Three men were applying for the same job as a detective. One was a

Sardarji,

one was Jewish, and one was Italian. The chief decided to ask each

applicant just one

question and base his decision upon that answer. When the Jewish man

arrived for his

interview, the chief asked him, "Who killed Jesus Christ?" The Jewish man

answered

without hesitation. "The Romans killed him." The chief thanked him and he

left.

When the Italian man arrived for his interview, the chief asked the Same

question. He

replied "Jesus was killed by the Jews." Again, the chief thanked the man

who then

left. Finally the Sardarji arrived for his interview, he was asked the same

question.

He thought for a long time, before saying,"Could I have some time to think

about it?"

The chief said,"OK, but get back to me tomorro! w." When the Sardarji

arrived home

, his wife asked "How was the interview ?". Sardarji replied, "Great, I got

the job,

and I'm already investigating a murder.

9. Guooonn, Guooonn

Talking about those days when there were no mosquito repellents and we

had to spend sleepless nights. Sardarji was also experiencing the same

every time. he tries to sleep,one mosquito comes and disturbs his sleep

with a

sound "guooonn, guooonn."

He gets very irritated. He tries to cover his ear but the problem remains

persistent.

Ultimately he gets up and catches the mosquito in his hand. He is very kind

and not

for the blood shed but still wanted to take revenge. Happy as he is now

starts singing

a lullaby and says "so ja machchar, bete so ja". After some time he finds

the mosquito

falling into deep sleep in his hands. So he goes near it and says

"Guoooonnnnn, guoooonnnnn."

10. Urine Test

Two sardarjis were sitting outside a clinic. One of ! them was crying like

anything. So the other asked,"Why are you crying?" The first one replied,

"I came here for blood test" Second one asked," So? Are you afraid?"

First one replied,"No, not that. During the blood test they cut my finger"

Hearing this the second one started crying. The first one was astonished

and

asked other, "Why are you crying?" The other replied, "I have come for my

urine test."

11. Bihari-Sardar

A Bihari was waiting for his bus at the bus stop. Finally the bus arrives

and he gets in. The bus is fully loaded with sardarjis. One sardarji orders

Bihari to tell a joke. Now, the Bihari thinks he's in big trouble because

he knows only sardar jokes! After thinking for some time he decides to

substitute all

references to 'sardars' in his joke with 'Biharis'. He starts the jokes

with, "There

was once a Bihari..." And suddenly he gets a major blow on his back from

one of the

sardarjis who shouts, "Kyon be! Sab sardar mar g! aye hai kya?"

12. Wrong Answer

Santa Singh applied for an engineering position at DEMAN CONSTRUCTION

office in Amritsar. Reddy from Chennai applied for the same job and both

applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by

theDepartment

manager Mr. Arvin Singh. Upon completion of the test, the results showed

that both

men only missed one of the questions. The manager went to Santa and said,

"Thank you

for your interest, but we've decided to give the job to Reddy".

Santa: And why would you be doing that? We both got 9 questions correct.

This being

Punjab I should get the job!"

Manager: "We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but on the

one

question that you got wrong.

"Santa: "And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?"

Manager: "Simple, for the question that both of you got wrong, Reddy put

down 'I don't know' as the answer. And you wrote 'Neither do I'!"

13. Road to Stati! on

Sardarji praising his son who is a Civil engineer, who just laid a road

near his house. "Wow! This is terrific! Look at the job he has done!

The distance from my house to the railway station is the same as the

railway

station to my house!!!!!!! !"

14. Green TV

Sardarji is buying a TV.

"Do you have colour TVs?"

"Sure."

"Give me a green one, please."

15. Just a second

Sardarji calls Air India. "How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?"

"Just a sec," says the receptionist. "Thank you." says the Sardar and hangs

up.

16. Salary Expected

Sardarji is filling up a job application.

He promptly fills in the lines on NAME, AGE, ADDRESS, etc.

Then came the column SALARY EXPECTED. After much thought he writes: Yes.

17. Crocodile Boots

Sardarji proposes to a woman. She says yes, if you bring me a pair of

crocodile boots.

He sets off to Africa and disappears. Finally they find him hunting croc!

odiles

and watch him killing a huge one. He walks over the reptile, checks its

legs, angrily

exclaims: "71st and *again* barefoot!"

18. Thermos Flask

Sardarji goes into a store and sees a shiny object.

He asks the clerk, "What is that shiny object?"

The clerk replies, "That is a Thermos flask."

The Sardar asks, "What does it do?"

The clerk responds, "Keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."

The Sardar says, "I'll take it!"

The next day, he walks into work with his new Thermos.

His Sardar boss sees him and asks,

"What is that shiny object with you?" He said, "It's a Thermos flask."

The boss asks, "What does it do?"

He replies, "Keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."

The boss said, "Wow, what do you have in it?"

The Sardar replies, "Two cups of coffee and a coke."

19. Answering Machine

Sardarji fixed an answering machine at home.

Two days later he disconnected it because he was getting co! mplaints like

"Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai."

20. Photocopies

What does Sardarji do after taking photocopies?

He compares it with the original for spelling mistakes.

No.

Question

Answer

01

The first Prime minister of Bangladesh was

Mujibur Rehman

02

The longest river in the world is the

Nile

03

The longest highway in the world is the

Trans-Canada

04

The longest highway in the world has a length of

about 8000 km

05

The highest mountain in the world is the

Everest

06

The country that accounts for nearly one third of the total teak production of the world is

Myanmar

07

The biggest desert in the world is the

Sahara desert

08

The largest coffee growing country in the world is

Brazil

09

The country also known as "country of Copper"is

Zambia

10

The name given to the border which seperates Pakistan and Afghanistan is

Durand line

11

The river Volga flows out into the

Capsian sea

12

The coldest place on the eartn is

Verkoyansk in Siberia

13

The country which ranks second in terms of land area is

Canada

14

The largest Island in the Mediterranean sea is

Sicily

15

The river Jordan flows out into the

Dead sea

16

The biggest delta in the world is the

Sunderbans

17

The capital city that stands on the river Danube is

Belgrade

18

The Japanese call their country as

Nippon

19

The length of the English channel is

564 kilometres

20

The world's oldest known city is

Damascus

21

The city which is also known as the City of Canals is

Venice

22

The country in which river Wangchu flows is

Myanmar

23

The biggest island of the world is

Greenland

24

The city which is the biggest centre for manufacture of automobiles in the world is

Detroit,USA

25

The country which is the largest producer of manganese in the world is

USA

26

The country which is the largest producer of rubber in the world is

Malaysia

27

The country which is the largest producer of tin in the world is

Malaysia

28

The river which carries maximum quantity of water into the sea is the

Mississippi

29

The city which was once called the `Forbidden City'was

Peking

30

The country called the Land of Rising Sun is

Japan

31

Mount Everest was named after

Sir George Everest

32

The volcano Vesuvias is located in

Italy

33

The country known as the Suger Bowl of the world is

Cuba

34

The length of the Suez Canal is

162.5 kilometres

35

The lowest point on earth is

The coastal area of Dead sea

36

The Gurkhas are the original inhabitants of

Nepal

37

The largest ocean of the world is the

Pacific ocean

38

The largest bell in the world is the

Tsar Kolkol at Kremlin,Moscow

39

The biggest stadium in the world is the

Strahov Stadium,Prague

40

The world's largest diamond producing country is

South Africa

41

Australia was discoverd by

James Cook

42

The first Governor General of Pakistan is

Mohammed Ali Jinnah

43

Dublin is situated at the mouth of river

Liffey

44

The earlier name of New York city was

New Amsterdam

45

The Eifel tower was built by

Alexander Eiffel

46

The Red Cross was founded by

Jean Henri Durant

47

The country which has the greatest population density is

Monaco

48

The national flower of Britain is

Rose

49

Niagara Falls was discovered by

Louis Hennepin

50

The national flower of Italy is

Lily

51

The national flower of China is

Narcissus

52

The permanent secretariat of the SAARC is located at

Kathmandu

53

The gateway to the Gulf of Iran is

Strait of Hormuz

54

The first Industrial Revolution took place in

England

55

World Environment Day is observed on

5th June

56

The first Republican President President of America was

Abraham Lincoln

57

The country famous for Samba dance is

Brazil

58

The name of Alexander's horse was

Beucephalus

59

Singapore was founded by

Sir Thomas Stamford Raffles

60

The famous British one-eyed Admiral was

Nelson

61

The earlier name of Srilanka was

Ceylon

62

The UNO was formed in the year

1945

63

UNO stands for

United Nations Organisation

64

The independence day of South Korea is celebrated on

15th August

65

`Last Judgement'was the first painting of an Italian painter named

Michelangelo

66

`Paradise Regained'was written by

John Milton

67

The first President of Egypt was

Mohammed Nequib

68

The first man to reach North Pole was

Rear Peary

69

The most famous painting of Pablo Picasso was

Guermica

70

The primary producer of newsprint in the world is

Canada

71

The first explorer to reach the South Pole was

Cap.Ronald Amundson

72

The person who is called the father of modern Italy is

G.Garibaldi

73

World literacy day is celebrated on

8th September

74

The founder of modern Germany is

Bismarck

75

The country known as the land of the midnight sun is

Norway

76

The place known as the Roof of the world is

Tibet

77

The founder of the Chinese Republic was

San Yat Sen

78

The first Pakistani to receive the Nobel Prize was

Abdul Salam

79

The first woman Prime Minister of Britain was

Margaret Thatcher

80

The first Secretary General of the UNO was

Trygve Lie

81

The sculptor of the statue of Liberty was

Federick Auguste Bartholdi

82

The port of Banku is situated in

Azerbaijan

83

John F.Kennedy was assassinated by

Lee Harry Oswald

84

The largest river in France is

Lore

85

The Queen of England who married her brother-in-law was

Catherine of Aragon

86

The first negro to be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize was

Ralph Johnson Bunche

87

The first British University to admit women for degree courses was

London University

88

The principal export of Jamaica is

Sugar

89

New York is popularly known as the city of

Skyscrapers

90

Madagascar is popularly known as the Island of

Cloves

91

The country known as the Land of White Elephant is

Thailand

92

The country known as the Land of Morning Calm is

Korea

93

The country known as the Land of Thunderbolts is

Bhutan

94

The highest waterfalls in the world is the

Salto Angel Falls,Venezuela

95

The largest library in the world is the

United States Library of Congress,Washington DC

96

The largest museum in the world is the

American Museum of Natural History

97

The lowest mountain ragne in the world is the

Bhieuna Bhaile

98

The country known as the Land of Cakes is

Scotland

99

The place known as the Garden of England is

Kent

100

The tallest tower in the world is the

C.N.Tower,Toronto, Canada

101

The country famous for its fish catch is

Japan

102

The old name of Taiwan was

Farmosa

103

Montreal is situated on the bank of river

Ottawa

104

The city of Bonn is situated in

Germany

105

The literal meaning of Renaissance is

Revival

106

Julius Caesar was killed by

Brutus

107

The title of Desert Fox was given to

Field Marshal Erwin Rommel

108

The largest airport in the world is the

King Khalid Int.Airport, Saudi Arabia

109

The city in Russia which faced an earthquake in the year 1998 was

Armenia

110

The largest bay in the world is

Hudson Bay,Canada

111

The largest church in the world is

Bascilica of St.Peter,Vatican City,Rome

112

The largest peninsula in the world is

Arabia

113

The largest gulf in the world is

Gulf of Mexico

114

The tallest statue in the world is the

Motherland,Volgagra d Russia

115

The largest railway tunnel in the world is the

Oshimzu Tunnel,Japan

116

The world's loneliest island is the

Tristan da cunda

117

The word `Quiz'was coined by

Jim Daly Irishman

118

The original meaning of `Quiz'was

Trick

119

The busiest shopping centre of London is

Oxford Street

120

The residence of the Queen in London is

Buckingham Palace

121

Adolf Hitler was born in

Austria

122

The country whose National Anthem has only music but no words is

Bahrain

123

The largest cinema in the world is the

Fox theatre,Detroit, USA

124

The country where there are no Cinema theatres is

Saudi arabia

125

The world's tallest office building is the

Sears Tower,Chicago

126

In the year 1811,Paraguay became independent from

Spain

127

The cross word puzzle was invented by

Arthur Wynney

128

The city which was the capital of the ancient Persian Empire was

Persepolis

129

WHO stands for

World Health Organisation

130

WHO is located at

Geneva

131

FAO stands for

Food and Agriculture Organisation

132

FAO is located at

Rome and London

133

UNIDO stands for

United Nations Industrial Development Organisation

134

UNIDO is located at

Vienna

135

WMO stands for

World Meteorological Organisation

136

WMO is located at

Geneva

137

International Civil Aviation Organisation is located at

Montreal

138

The Angel Falls is located in

Venezuela

139

The Victoria Falls is located in

Rhodesia

140

Ice Cream was discovered by

Gerald Tisyum

141

The number regarded as lucky number in Italy is

Thirteen

142

Napoleon suffered from alurophobia which means

Fear of cats

143

The aeroplanes was used in war for the first time by

Italians(14 Oct.1911)

144

Slavery in America was abolished by

Abraham Lincoln

145

The Headquarters of textile manufacturing in England is

Manchester

146

The famous Island located at the mouth of the Hudson river is

Manhattan

147

The founder of plastic industry was

Leo Hendrik Bakeland

148

The country where military service is compulsory for women is

Israel

149

The country which has more than 10,000 golf courses is

USA

150

The famous painting `Mona Lisa'is displayed at

Louvre museum,Paris

151

The earlier name for tomato was

Love apple

152

The first President of USA was

George Washington

153

The famous words `Veni Vidi Vici'were said by

Julius Caesar

154

The practice of sterilization of surgical instruments was introduced by

Joseph Lister

155

The number of countries which participated in the first Olympic Games held at Athens was

Nine

156

Mercury is also known as

Quick Silver

157

Disneyland is located in

California,USA

158

The country which built the first powerful long range rockets is

Germany

159

Sewing Machine was invented by

Isaac M.Singer

160

Adding Machine was invented by

Aldrin

161

The national emblem of Spain is

Eagle

162

Archimedes was born in

Sicily

163

The total area of Vatican city is

0.272 Sq.kms

164

The largest temple in the world is

Angkorwat in Kampuchea

165

The largest dome in the world is

Louisiana Superdome,New Orleans,USA

166

The largest strait in the world is

Tartar Strait

167

The Mohenjodaro ruins are found in

Larkand District of Sind,Pakistan

168

The largest city of Africa is

Cairo

169

The founder of KODAK Company was

Eastman

170

The Cape of Good Hope is located in

South Africa

171

The Heathrow Airport is located in

London

172

The neon lamp was invented by

Georges Claude

173

The last letter of the Greek alphabet is

Omega

174

The place known as the land of Lincoln is

Illinois

175

The US state Utah is also known as

Beehive state

176

The Kalahari desert is located in

Africa

177

The Pentagonian desert is located in

Argentina

178

The person known as the father of aeronautics is

Sir George Cayley

179

The most densely populated Island in the world is

Honshu

180

The two nations Haiti and the Dominion Republic together form the Island of

Hisponiola

181

The largest auto producer in the USA is

General Motors

182

The largest auto producing nation is

Japan

183

The famous General Motors company was founded by

William Durant

184

The country that brings out the FIAT is

Italy

185

The first actor to win an Oscar was

Emil Jannings

186

The first animated colour cartoon of full feature length was

Snow White and Seven Dwarfs

187

The first demonstration of a motion picture was held at

Paris

188

The first country to issue stamps was

Britain

189

The actor who is considered as the biggest cowboy star of the silent movies is

Tom Mix

190

The Pentagon is located at

Washington DC

191

The world's largest car manufacturing company is

General Motors,USA

192

The world's biggest manufacturer of bicycles is

Hero cycles,Ludhiana

193

The world's oldest underground railway is at

London

194

The White House was painted white to

Hide fire damage

195

The largest oil producing nation in Africa is

Nigeria

196

The longest river in Russia is

Oblrtysh

197

The first Emperor of Germany was

Wilhelm

198

The last French Monarch was

Louis Napoleon III

199

"History is Bunk"was said by

Henry Ford

200

The term ``astrology' literally means

Star Speech

201

Togo is situated in

Africa

202

Coal is also known as

Black Diamond

203

The first Boxer to win 3 gold medals in Olympics was

Laszlo Papp

204

The first ruler who started war games for his soldiers was

Genghis Khan

205

The first cross word puzzle in the world was published in

1924 by London Sunday Express

206

The lightest known metal is

Lithium

207

The atacama desert is located in

North Chile

208

The oil used to preserve timber is

Creosote oil

209

The founder of USA was

George Washington

210

The first talkie feature film in USA was

The Jazz Singer

211

The chemical name of laughing gas is

Nitrous oxide

212

The US state Mississipi is also known as

Tar Heel state

213

The US state Indiana is also known as

Volunteer state

214

The US state Missouri is also known as

Hoosier state

215

The US state West Verginia is also known as

Blue Grass state

216

The US state known as`Pine Free State'is

Vermount

217

The US state known as `Mountain state'is

Pensylvania

218

The US state known as`Land of `Land of 1000 Lakes'is

Arkansas

219

The popular detective character created by Agatha Christie is

Hercule Poirot

220

The Pakistani President who died in an aircrash was

Zia-ul-Huq

221

Yoghurt means

Fermented milk

222

Yankee is the nickname of

American

223

The International court of Justice is located in

Hague,Holland

224

The headquarters of World Bank is located at

Washington DC

225

Victoria Falls was discovered by

David Livingstone

226

The technique to produce the first test tube baby was evolved by

Patrick Stepote and Robert Edwards

227

The oldest residential university of Britain is the

Oxford University

228

The name of the large clock on the tower of the House of Parliament in London is called

Big Ben

229

Prado museum is located in

Madrid

230

The number of keys in an ordinary piano is

Eighty eight

231

`Man is a Tool Making Animal'was said by

Benjamin Franklin

232

The term 'anesthesia' was coined by

Oliver Wendell Holmes

233

The first man to reach Antartica was

Fabian Gotileb

234

The Kilimanjaro volcano is situated in

Tanzania

235

The invention that is considered to have built America is

Dynamite

Bachpan ke dukh bi kitne ache the,

tab to sirf khilone tuta karte the.

Wo khushiyan bi na jane kaise khushiyan thi,

titli ko pakad ke uchhla karte the.

Paoon maar ke khud barish ke pani mae,

apna aap bhigoya karte the.

Ab to ek aansu bi rusva kar jata hai,

bachpan mein to dil khol ke roya karte the.

*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*

*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*

Sham ne lipat kar pyar ka ijhar kiya,

Chandani ne bikharkar Yaar ka satkar kiya.

Main khada bas dekhta raha Roop ki jalti agan,

Dil lagi ne Dilkashi se waqt ko guljar kiya.

*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*

*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/DilSeDesiGroup/join/
















Success is measured not so much

by the height that one has achieved in the life

but by the difficulties that one has overcome

while achieving success.

*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*

*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*

Zindgi ki kitab k kuch panne hote hai,

Kuch apne,Kuch begane hote hain.

Pyar se savwar jati hai zindgi,

Bas Pyar se rishte nibhane hote hai.

*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*

*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*

Arz kia hai

Soch samajh ke na ki shaadi jisne,

Usne jeevan bigaad liya.

Aur chaturai se ki shadi jisne,

Usne bhi kya ukhad liya.

*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*

*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*

Fact of classroom:

Jab professor apko class se bahr nikale






















TO SAMAJ LO K TARAKI KR RHE HO.

He might be afraid dat u know more than him...!!

*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*

*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*

Every life in dis world has been paintd

by God's own hands.

Dats y I m thankful

b'cos wen He paintd my life,

He included 1 Lovely color!

Dat's u.

*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*

*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*

Tum se khafa hokar hum jayenge kahan,

Tum sa saathi hum payenge kahan.

Dil ko to kaise bhi samjha lenge lekin ,

ANKHON se aap ki tasvir chupayege kahan.

*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*

*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*

A fantastic quote 4 life:

Satisfy the person who expect from u

rather than Surprising the person






















who never expected anything from you !

*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*

*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*

Appreciate life itself even if

it's not a bed of roses.

Contentment is not fulfillment

of what u wish 4

but appreciation of what u have.

Gud Mrng!

*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*

*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*

Never walk away frm true relations

wen u c some faults.

Be patient n realize

dat nobdy is perfect.

Its affection dat maters not perfection.

*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*

*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*

I'l wak wid u in evry step of Life,

bt jst promse me u'll hide ur wings

evrytim v walk together






















coz i dn't wnt the world 2knw

tht my Frnd is an angel.

*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*

*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*

Impossible does not mean

that it is not possible.

It actually means

that nobody has done it so far.

We are born 2 break the limits.

*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*

*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*

Samay Ki Dhara K Sath HUM Chalte Hain,

Isi Ada Pe To Log HUM Pe Marte hain.

sms Ki Duniya K HUM BAADSHAH Hain,

Isliye AAP Humko sms Karne Se Darte Hain.

*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*

*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*

A smile givs red color 2 ur cheeks,

White color 2 ur teeth,

Pink color 2 ur lips,

Silver color 2 ur eyes.






















So keep smilin

&enjoy D colors of LIFE.

*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*

*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*

Apni dosti ki gaddi kuch aise chal padi,

jaise KICK marte hi Bike ud padi.

Dua hai na lage isme koi BREAK,

speed itni ho ke na kar sake koi OVERTAKE.

._I__I_,

(_£___=------/ ._I__I_,

----\---- ,--<>--=____/7 (_£___=------/ ._I__I_,

Di I have permission to make an emergency landing in your bedroom tonight!

Flirt SMS, Flirt English SMS, 175 Characters

Loading the Babe meter.....

5%

17%

26%

57%

http://www.jijasali.com/?language=english&category=flirt

http://www.jijasali.com/?category=flirt









78%

99%

100% COMPLETE

Processing data..

ANALYSIS COMPLETE

U R A 100% Gorgeous Babe XXX!


If I could be any part of you, I’d be your tear. To be conceived in your heart, born in your eyes, live on your cheeks, and die on your lips.


Unhe yeh shikwa hai ki hum unhe yaad karte hi nahi, par unhe ye kaun samjaye ki hum unhe yad kaise kare jinhe hum bhoolte hi nahi.

Flirt SMS, Flirt Hindi SMS, 130 Characters

Tajmahal ki imarat her aashiq ko mohabbat ki misaal nazar aati hai. Main kis kis ke liye taj banwaun mujhe to her ladki mumtaz nazar aati hai.


Jaane yeh kaisa naata hai, bas tera naam hi aata hai zubaan par, din ya raat me, le ke tera haath haath mein, rahunga tere saath saath main.


New style of proposing a girl.. "i hv spent many sleepless nights in ur Luv n i dont want my son 2 do d same 4 your daughter so lets mk them brother n sister.

http://www.jijasali.com/?language=hindi&category=flirt











Dil 20 13, 80 20 tere..

Confused???

Read the above numbers in punjabi.

Flirt SMS, Flirt Punjabi SMS, 80 Characters

New style of proposing a girl: I have spent many sleepless nights in your love, and I don't want my son to do the same for your daughter. So lets make them brother & sister.


Government imposing new taxes. Dating Rs.10, Hug Rs.20, Kiss Rs.30, Love Rs.50. But you don't worry, flirting is still free.


The length & breadth & height of you, total up to quite a view, but to taste the true delight of you, I'll have to take a bite of u.


I think you are very careless! U come & leave things behind! See now what u have left? U just came in my mind and left a smile on my face.


I believe that God above created you for me to luv. He picked me out from all the rest coz he knew I'd luv you the best!


U luk sweet when u read my msg.U luk sweeter wn u read my msg& smile. U luk sweetest wn u read

my msg,smile & reply.So,try to luk sweetest.














http://www.jijasali.com/?language=punjabi&category=flirt




As days go by, my feelings get stronger, To be in ur arms, I can't wait any longer. Look into my eyes & u'll see that it's true, Day & night my thoughts r of U.


Baari barsi khatan geya si, Khat ke lyanda "Sehtoot", Tusi ta sute e reh gaye, tuhadi "Pappi" ley geya Bhoot!!


Tere hathon mitran ne hona ae katal, Munde tainu kehnde baaran bor di rafal, Asin wekhnae khud nu tabah karke, Aaja waj ja bandook diye goliyee ni seene vich tha karke..!!


I wish I was a teddy bear, that lay upon your bed, so everytime you cuddled it, you cuddled me instead.


Even if I had 1 wish... I wouldn't wish for u to love me, coz I don't want your love to come from a wish... but straight from your heart.


Those who can't have u hate u, those who have u can't handle u, those who abuse u lose u, & then there are those like me who just can't refuse u!


I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?


Too many stars in the sky, too many tears that have left my eyes. Too many girls out in the blue, but they are nothing compared to you!


















Sharp is ur memory, sweet is ur name, deep in my heart u'll always remain. Earth wants water, flower wants dew, I want nothing but a smile from u.


U may b out of my sight but not out of my heart. U may b out of my reach but not out of my mind. I don't know what I mean 2 u, but u'll always be special 2 me.


All I wanted was sumone 2 care 4 me. All I wanted was sumone who'd b there 4 me. All I ever wanted was sumone who'd b true. All I ever wanted was sum1 like u.


Touch my heart & u’ll feel, Listen to my heart & u’ll hear, Look into my heart & u’ll see, That u’ll always be a special part of me.


Don't send any messages, I don't want to see you, hear your voice, think of you, coz my doctor advised me 2 keep away from Sweets.


If u see some one without a smile, give him one of urns, coz u r among a few good people who can shine others lives by just walking with him a few miles.


Hello!! What's wrong with your mobile? Tried so many times but Every time I call it says: The subscriber your are trying to reach is in your heart!


Only the open heart receives love, only the open mind receives wisdom, only the open hand receives gifts and only the cute persons receive SMS from me!


















Hey, I just got your blood test report. U have been tested HIV positive. Report reads person has high percentage of Honey In Veins. No Wonder!


U may be out of my sight, but not out of my heart. U may be out of my reach, but not out of my mind. I may mean nothing to u but u'll always be special to me.


I don't care how many lips u hv kissed, how many shoulders u have embraced & how many times u’ve said, I luv u! All I care is not b the first but 2 b ur last!


Without ur SMS days are like: Moanday, Tearsday, Wasteday, Thirstday, Frightday, Shattereday & Sadday. So send me SMS everyday.


Excuse me, do u have a Band-Aid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you.


If all the girls lived on the other side of the sea, what a good swimmer I would be?


I know you think I'm cute, I know you think I'm fine, but like the other guys, take a number and wait in line!


In da mornin I don’t eat coz I think of u, at noon I don’t eat coz I think of u, in da evenin I don’t eat coz I think of u, at night I don’t sleep coz Im hungry


In da mornin I don’t eat coz I think of u, at noon I don’t eat coz I think of u, in da evenin I don’t eat coz I think of u, at night I don’t sleep coz Im hungry




















Boy: Jaaneman, is dil mein aaja! Gal: Sandal utaaroon kya? Boy: Are pagli, yeh koi mandir thodi hai, aise hi aaja!


I’ll give u one kiss to go to sleep. I’ll give u two kisses to dream. I’ll give u an endless row of kisses to, when u wake up in the morning, think of me.


I used to think that dreams do not come true, but this quickly changed the moment I laid my eyes on you.


A peach is a peach, a plum is a plum, a kiss isn't a kiss without the tongue, so open ur mouth & close ur eyes & give ur tongue some exercise.


Faith makes all things possible, love makes all things easy, hopes makes all things work, but ur gorgeous smile brings all faith, luv & hope in me!


If love & friendship could be brought or sold as if they were Stocks & Shares those wise enough to invest in you SEXY would all be millionaires!!!


Ek tanha raat me apki yaad aayi, tanhai mitane ko humne ek cigrate sulgai, na jaane kaise qayamat ho gayi ke dhooeein ne bhi apki tasvir banayi.


Little keys can open big locks, simple words can express great thoughts. A text from u never fails to make me smile the whole day through.


If you say my eyes are beautiful it's because they're looking at you, for my eyes are just the windows my feelings come through.


















Walk with me when ur hearts needs company, take my hand when u feel all alone, turn to me when u need some1 to lean on, coz I'm the one u can always depend on!


Hi Good Morning! Arz hai, Chai ke cup se uthte dhuein mein teri shakl nazar aati hai, Tere khyalon mein kho kar aksar meri chai thandi ho jaati hai


Teri arzoo main humne Baharon ko dekha! Teri Zustzo main humne Sitaron ko dekha! Nahi mila tum se badhkar in nigahon ne hazaron ko dekha.


It takes two to tango, two to kiss, two to talk & reminisce. So many good things come in pair & one of those things is ME n YOU!

Rang barse bhige chunar wali, rang barse o rang barse bhige chunar wali..rang barse, are rang barse bhige chunar wali..re! Ab ghar jao nahi to jukham lag jayega.

You = cute ; You = hot ; You = sweet ; You = intelligent ; You = amazing ; You = perfect ; Me = liar.

I look at the stars, the stars r beautiful. Then I look at you...... I ...... I ....... I rather look at the stars again !

Santa Singh tells his girlfriend, "come home tomorrow, no one will b at home". When she goes the next day to his home....... There was NO

ONE at home









Aahat is koi aye to lagta hai ki tum ho. Hawa koi lehrayi to lagta hai ki

tum ho. Ab tum hi batao, kya tum kisi BHOOT se kam ho ?

Why do U think I SMS u ? Is it because I care ? Or I miss u ? Or I love u ? Or I need You ? No It's b'coz... Timepass ke liye koi BAKRA

chaiye !

I wanted to kill the sweetest, smartest and most beautiful person on this earth. But then, I thought..... ...... Suicide is a crime !

Tohar chehra moti ke saman, Tohar chehra moti ke saman, Tohar chehra moti ke saman, Tohar chehra moti ke saman, Moti hamar

kutte ka naam !

Gandhi bhi chala gaya, nehru bhi mar gaya, subhash bose ka bhi kuchh pata nahi, aur meri bhi tabiyat thik nahi hai.... Pata nahi desh

ka AB kya hoga.

Zindagi mein teen cheezen kabhi bhi AA sakti hain..... PAISA..... MAUT..... Aur..... Aur..... Aur..... Mera SMS !

Hi! I am a virus & I am entering ur brain right now... Wait, hold on, Sorry, Unable to find ur brain.... I'm leaving now !

I saw you on the road that day. U were looking so fine. Ur face So divine. Ur walk so perfect. My heart started tossing a sweet song....

Who let the dogs out ??!

Santa Singh once went out to a movie from 9 to 12 but came out from the hall at 10. Why ?? Because, the name of the movie was DASTAK !

Arz kiya hai, Door se dekha to sntra tha, pass Jake dekha to sntra tha, chil ke dekha to bhi sntra tha, Khake dekha to bhi sntra tha. Wah kya

sntra tha !

I have bought new camera, So please smile..... Click !..... Sorry bhoot ka photo nahin aata.

Johny Walker : Mere pass bangla hai, gadi hai, bank loker hai, Kya hai tumhare pass ? Johny Leaver : Mere pass in sabki chabi hai !

Ek tum ho ki kitne acche ho, 1 tum ho ki kitne pyare ho, 1 tum ho ki kitne sunder ho, 1 tum kitne sacche ho, 1 hum hai ki jhooth bolte ja

rahe hain.

Suraj Hua Madham , chand bhi chalne laga, mein thehra raha, zamin chalne lagi, sajna kya yehi pyaar hai ?? Nalayak, yeh pyar nahi

EARTHQUAKE hai ! BHAAG !

Jab Jab tum angdai lete ho dam hamara nikal jata hai. Aye Jalim Deodrant lagane me tumhara kya jata hai ?!

Unki gali se guzar rahe the kya ittefaq tha, unki gali se guzar rahe the kya ittefaq tha, unhoon NE phool phainka par gamla bhi saath tha !

.Gham me hasne walo ko kabhi rulaya nahi jata,lehro se pani ko hataya nahi jata,

hone wale ho jate hain khudhi dil se apne,kisi ko kehkar apna banaya nahi jata

2.Socha tha na karenge kisi se dosti,na karenge kisi se vaada,par kya kare dost mila itna pyara ki karna pada dostika vaada

3.Samja do apni yado ko,wo bin bulaye pas aaya karti hai,aap to dur rehkar satate ho magar,wo pas aakar rulaya karti hai

4.Waqt guzarta raha par sanse thami si thi,muskura rahe the hum,par ankho me nami si thi,saath hamare ye jahan tha sara,par na jaane kyu tumhari kami si thi

5.Kyu dil ke mere tukde kar diye,kyu mere aansu ko apni muskan se baha diye,gunah kya tha mera bus chahna tumhe,kyu meri zindagi me tune dard bhardiye

6.Phool se pehle khusboo ko to dekho,karne se pehle kaam ko to dekho,kisike roop mein diwana naa bano,surat se pehle uske dil ko to dekho

7.Movie titles related to engg students:exams - socha na tha,classes - kabhi kabhi,question papers - na tum jano na hum,copying - yaarana,maths2 - asambhav,maths1 - mission impossible,environmental sciences - pyar mein kabhi kabhi,1st semester - kuch to hai,2nd semester - yeh kya ho raha hai,distinction - kal ho na ho,1st class - raju bangaya gentleman,2nd class - dil mange morefail - phir milenge

7.Hum wo ishq hain jo dil bankar dhadakte hai,hum wo khushbo hain jo baho mein mahakte hain,humse pyar na karna e-zalim hum vo dard hain jo ankhose chalakte hain

8.School- a place where papa pays & son playslife insurance- a contract tht keeps you poor all urlife so tht you can die richnurse- a person wakes up to give you sleeping pillsmarriage- a contract in which a boy loses hisbachelors degree & girl gets her masters degree

9.Apne pyar ko chupana chaha par chupa na sake,diwane dil pe kabu hum pa na sake,aaj itne karib se gujar gaye wo,phir bhi unka hath hum tham na sake

10.Ikrar may shabdo ki ahmiyat nai hoti,dil ke jazbat ki awaz nai hoti,ankhen bayan kar deti hai dil ki dastan,mohabbat lafzo ki mohtaz nai hoti

11.Gam ki aahat na aaye tere dar par,pyar ke samander ka tum bhi ek kinara ho,bhool se jo tapke teri aankhon say moti,thame wohi jo tumhe sabse pyara ho

12.Mohabbat me sath to harpal hota he,koi dikhne se hota he to koi dilse hota hai,maza to sath tab aye yaro,jab judai ka lamha mahsus hota hai

13.Be slow in choosing a friend & slower while loosingthem bcoz friendship is not an opportunity its asweet rsponsibility

14.If love is sweet why does it hurt,if love is deep why does it burn,if love is warm why do we shiver,if love is tender why do we cry,if love is forever why do we die

15.God picked up a flower & dipped in honey he touchedit with love n turned into u,he then gifted it to me & said this friend is for u

16.Na chaho kisi ko itna ki chahat aapki majburi banjaye,chaho kisi ko itna aapka pyaar uske liye jaruri banjaye

17.Gham ne hasne na diya,zamane ne rone na diya,is uljhano ne jine na diya,thak ke jab sitaron se panah li,neend aayi tho aapki yaad ne sone na diya

18.Har ek se achi baat karna FITRAT hai hamari,har ek khush rahe ye HASRAT hai hamari,koi hum ko yaad kare ya na kare,har ek ko yaad karna aadat hai hamari

19.Yaadon mein hum rahein ye ehsaas rakhna,nazron se door sahi dil ke paas rakhna,ye nahi kehte ke sath raho dur sahi par yaad rakhna

20.Fasle mita kar aapas me pyar rakhna,dosti ka ye rishta hamesha yunhi barkarar rakhna,bichad jaye kabhi aap se hum,aankhon me hamesha hamara intejar rakhna

21.Hamne zindagi ki shurarat S se ki,s se suraj, s se subah, s se swagat, s se saaz, s sesangeet par phir s se samay ne aisi karwat badli kes se hamari shaadi ho gai, aur fir jeewan ka arthsaas, sasur, saala, saali, sasural or sankat ho gayato hamne s se sharab pi ne lage, so beaware of s

22.Zindagi mein hamesha SMART log milenge,kahi zyada to kahi kum milenge,choice zara sochke karna,zaroori nahi har jagah tumhe hum jaise milenge

23.Sms karenge hum ek duje ko bari bari,

hame lagti hai ye rasam badi pyari,ye sms milte hi ek sms bhej dena,kyunki hame bilkul pasand nahi udhari

Kisi na kisi pe kisi ko aetbar ho jata hai,ajnabi koi shaks yaar ho jata hai,khubiyo se nahi hoti mohabbat bhi sadaa,khamiyo se bhi aksar pyaar ho jata hai

25.Khuda se thoda rahem kharid lete,aap ke zakhmo ka marhar kharid lete,agar kahin kabhi bikti khushiyan meri,to saari bechkar aapka har gam kharid lete

26.Sabse loving kaun: TUM,sabse sweet kaun: TUM,sabse cute kaun: TUM,in sab me TUM se zyada kaun: HUMlekin duniya me sabse acche dost kaun: HUM TUM

27.Nighahe nighago se milakar to dekho,naye logo se rishta banakar to dekho,hasrate dil me dabane se kya faida,apne hoton ko hilakar to dekho,asmaan simat jayega tumhare agosh me,chahat ki bahen failakar to dekho

28.Frindship opens many doors each with a differentview but none could be more beautiful viewthan the door that leads to u

29.Tum kya jano kya hai tanhai is tute hue patte sepucho kya hai judai,yu bewafa ka ilzam na de zalim,is waqt se puch kis waqt teri yaad na aayi

30.BathmeezChaddar ki KAMEEZ,Lohe ka PAIJAMA,Bandar tera MAMA,Billi teri MAUSI,Kutte mera YAAR,Aam ka AACHARMiss u mere YAAR

31.Aap ka ashiyana dil mein basaya hai,apki yado ko sine se lagaya hai,pata nahi yaad apki hi kyo aati hai,dost to hamne auro ko bhi banaya hai

32.Make a heart which never breaks,make a smile which never hurts,make a touch which never pains,make a friendship which never ends

33.Dosti gazal hai gane ke liye,dosti nagma hai sunane ke liye,ye wo jazba hai jo sabko nahi milta,kyonki aap jaisa chahiye nibhane ke liye

34.Zindagi hai nadan isiliye chup hoon,dard hi dard subah shaam isiliye chup hoon,keh du zamane se dastan apni,usme aayega tera naam isiliye chup hoon

35.Hoth keh nahi sakte jo fasana dil ka,shayad nazron se vo baat ho jaye,is ummid se karte hain intezar raat ka,ke shayad sapne me mulakat ho jaye

36.Sehmi si nigaho mein khwab hum jaga denge,sooni in raho pe phool hum khila denge,humare sang muskura ke to dekhiye,hum aapke har gum bhula denge

37.Kaise kehde ki unse milne ki chahat nahi,bekarar dil ko ab bhi rahat nahi,bhula dete unhe bhi magar kya kare dost,kisi ko bhulane ki is dil ko aadat nahi

38.Mana aaj unhe hamara koi khayal nahi,jawab dene ko hum razi he par koi sawal nahi,pucho unke dil se kya hum unke yaar nahi,kya hamse milne ko wo bekarar nahi

39.Bolti hai dosti chup rehta hai pyar,hasati hai dosti rulaata hai pyar,milati hai dosti judaa karta hai pyar,phir bhi kyun dosti chodkar log karte hai pyar

40.Aap to manzil ko mushkil samajte he hum aap komanzil samajte he,bada fark he apke or hamare nazariye meaap hume sapna or hum aap ko apna samajte hai

41.Wife: kaash main newspaper hoti dinbhar tumharehathon me rehtiHus: meri bhi yahi dua hai rab se issi bahane her dinnayi nayi to milti

42.Leke hum dusro ki hasi kya kare,jo apni nahi wo khushi kya kare,tanha jine se behatar hai mar jaye hum,jab saath tum nahi to zindagi jikar kya kare

43.Phool bankar muskurana zindagi hai,muskurake gum bhulana zindagi hai,milkar log khush hote hai to kya hua,bina mile dosti nibhana bhi zindagi hai

44.Happy moments praise allah,difficult moments seek allah,quiet moments worship allah,painful moments trust allah,every moments thank allah

45.Ae khuda dua ye meri khali na jaye ke mere dost kipalkon main kabhi aansu na aaye,aansu nikle to khushi ke nikle gum ke aansu mere hisseme aa jaye

46.Tumhari yaadon ki mehek in hawaon mein hai,pyar hi pyar hi bikhra in fizao mein hai,aisa na ho ki duriya dard ban jaye,ab to aapke msg ka intezaar niaghon mein hai

47.Mohabbat ko mohabbat ka ishara yaad rehata hai,har pyar ko apna pyar yaad rehta hai,wo pal jo yaar ki baho me guzarta hai,maut tak vo nazara yaad rehta hai

48.Panchi keh rahe hai ki hum chaman chod denge,aur sitare keh rahe hai ki hum gagan chod denge,agar tere ishq mein mai mar bhi jau ae sanam,tum dilse pukar lena hum kafan chod denge

49.Aansu aa jate hain aankhon mein,par labon pe hasi lani padti hai,yeh mohabbat bhi kya cheez hai yaaro,jisse karte ho usi se chupani padti hai

50.Kyun kisi ki khamoshi mujhe khamosh kar jaati hai,kyun uski udaasi muje udaas kar jaati hai,kya rishta hai uska mera jo mujhe uski yaad har pal aajaati hai

51.Jab koi khayal dilse takarata hai dil na chahkarbhi khamosh reh jata hai,koi sab kuch kehkar pyar jatata hai toh koi kuch nakehkar bhi pyar nibhata hai

52.Reth pe likhna to adat hai hamari isiliye toh sagarse dushmani hai hamari,chahe wo lakh bar apka nam mitaye, apko bhulana taqdirnahi hamari

53.Lamhe ye sunhere kal sath ho na ho,kal me aaj jaisi baat ho na ho,yaadon ke hasin lamhe dil me rehenge,tamaam umar chahe mulaqat ho na ho

54.Mere alfazon ko juth mat samajna,yaad aati hai bahut jaldi milne ki dua karna,ji raha tha tumhare naam par mar jau toh bewafa matsamajna

55.Lehar ati hai kinare se palat jati hai,yad ati hai dil me simat jati hai,

faraq itna hai ki lehar bewaqt ati hai,aur aap ki yaad har waqt ati hai

56.Rab se aapki khushi mangte hain,duaon me aapki hansi mangte hain,sochte hain kya mangen aapse chalo aapki umar bhar kidosti mangte hain

57.Nazre na hoti to nazara na hota,duniya main hasino ka guzara na hota,hamse yeh mat kaho ke dil lagana chhod de,jaake khuda se kaho hasino ko banana chhod de

58.Best day aaj, best gift zindagi,best eahsaas khushi,best feeling pyar,best relationship dosti,best person hum,best friend tum hum tum

59.Wo laut aayega teri zindagi mein,jiska intzaar tujhe aaj bhi hai,maana waqt ne ki hai bewafai tujhse lekin meri duaonme asar aaj bhi hai

60.Ruthne ka haq aap rakhte hai manane ki chahat humrakhte hai,aapke hoton pe muskurahat yu hi bani rahe yehi dua rabse hum roz karte hai

61.Kiss is not like nokia just connecting people,not like nike just do it,not like pepsi yeh dil mange more,but kiss is like lays no one can eat just one

62.Kaash dil ki awaaz me itna asar ho jaye ki hum jiseyaad kare use khabar ho jayerab se yahi dua hai meri ki aap jise chahe woh aap kahumsafar ho jaye

63.Heart is like a crystal preserve it,love is like a perfume spread it,

feelings are like flood flow it,friendship is like umbrella come lets share it

64.Kafi hai husn dil ko behlane ke liye,mohabbat karlo dil ko dukhane ke liye,chahe bhale pade gam se vasta,ek hum jaisa dost rakhna sab gamo ko bhulane ke liye

65.Anjane me hum apna dil gawa baithe is pyar me kaisadhoka kar baitheunse kya gila kare bhool hamari hi hai jo bina dilwalon se dil laga baithe

66.Har khushi dil ke karib nahi hoti,zindagi gamo se dur nahi hoti,ae dost is dosti ko sanjokar rakhna,aisi dosti har kisi ko nasib nahi hoti

67.Hum mitti ka aashiyana banate gaye,bana bana kar unhe mitate gaye,hume koi na apna bana saka,hum har kisi ko apna banate gaye

68.Days r too busy,hours r too fast,sec r too few,but there's always time for me to remember a nicefriend like u

69.Kaun hai jo manzil se door nahin,kaun hai jo zindagi se majboor nahin,gunaah to sabhi karte hain,humari nazar mein to khuda bhi bekasoor nahin

70.Kab unki palkon se izhaar hoga,dil ke kisi kone mein hamare liye pyar hoga,guzar rahi hai raat unki yaad mein,kabhi to unko bhi hamara intezar hoga

71.Nazroo se jab nazar ka takrar hota hai,har mod par kissi ka intezaar hota hai,dil rota hai zakham haste hai,

isi ka naam to pyaar hota hai

72.Unhone dekha aur aansu gir pade,bhari basant mein jaise phool bikhar pade,dukh woh nahin ki unhone hume alvida kaha,dukh to ye he ki uske bad wo khud ro pade

73.Mana ye waqt hame yaad karne wala nahi,par bewaqt he yaad karliya karo,mana aapke aspas sari duniya hai,kabhi hamari kamika bhi ehsas karliya karo

74.Nashili aankho se wo jab hamein dekhte hain,hum ghabraakar ankhen jhuka leite hain,kaun milaye unn ankhon se ankhen,suna hai wo ankho se apna bana leite hai

75.Chandni raat main jab sara jahan sota hai kisi kiyaad main koi badnaseeb rota hai,khuda kisi ko pyar pe fida na kare aur kare to judanakare

76.Har pal muskurana zindagi hai,muskurakar gam bhulana zindagi hai,jeet kar muskurana bhi kya muskurana hai,haar kar muskurana zindagi hai

77.Hum nibhayenge dosti marte dum tak,hum hasayenge tumko gham se khushi tak,aye dost kabhi humse naraz na hona,saath rehna hamare akhiri dum tak

78.A child uses its thumb 2 chew,an illiterate uses his thumb 2 sign,a winner uses his thumb 2 show victory,but a monkey is using his thumb 2 read this sms

79.Jab se tumhe jana hai,jab se tumhe paaya hai,har dua mein tera naam aaya hai,taaki poochhu rab se ki yeh kaisa namoona banaya hai

Ret pe naam kabhi likhte nahi,log kehte hai ki hum patthar dil hain,lekin pattharo pe likhe naam kabhi mit te nahin

Hw can u tell d rain nt 2 fall wn cloud exist,hw can u tell d leaves nt 2 fall wn d wind exists,hw can u tell me nt 2 miss wn u exists

82.Aankhon me rahne walo ko yaad nahi karte,dil me rehne walo ki baat nahi karte,hamari to ruh me bus gaye hain aap,tabhi to hum milne ki fariyaad nahi karte

83.Every tear is a sign of brokenness,every silence is sign of lonliness,every smile is sign of kindness,every sms is sign of remembrance

84.To walk is easy but 2 walk alone is tough,being missed by someone is nice but missing someone ispainful,being loved is secure but to love is insecure

Some people have nice eyes,some people have nice smiles,others have nice faces, but u have all of them with anice heart

86.Phool bankar muskurana zindagi hai,muskurake gum bhulana zindagi hai,milkar log khush hote hai to kya hua,bina mile dosti nibhana bhi zindagi hai

87.Tujse dosti karne ka hisab na aya,mere kisi bhi sawal ka jawab na aya,hum to jagte rahe tere hi khayalo me,aur tujhe so kar bhi hamara khawab na aya

88.These are some of the romantic countries in theworld,holland: hope our love lasts & never dies,italy: i trust & love u,

libya: love is beautiful & u also,france: friendship remains & never comes to an end

89.Jakham aisa diya ki koi dawa kaam na aayi,aag aise lagayi ki paani se bhi bhuj na payi,aaj bhi rote hai unki yaad main,jinhe hamari yaad hamare guzar jane par bhi na aayi

90.Bhool jane ka hounsla na hua,door rah kar bhi wo juda na hua,unse mil kar kisi aur se kya milte,koi dusra unke jaisa na hua

91.Laughter is the jam on the toast of life,it adds flavour keeps it from being too dry & makes iteasier to swallow lifes sorrows

92.Kaanch chube to nishan reh jaata hai,dil tute to armaan reh jaata hai,laga to deta hai waqt marham is dil par,phir bhi umra bhar ek zakhm reh jata hai

93.Log phoolon se mohabbat karte hai,kaaton ko kisne yaad kiya,hum kaaton se mohabbat karte hai,kyunki phool ne hume barbaad kiya

94.Hum agar aapse mil nahi pate aisa nahin ke hameinaap yaad nahi aate,mana jahan ke sab rishte nibhaye nahi jate,par jo bas jate hai dil me phir bhulae nahi jate

95.Nazar nawaz najaro me ji nahi lagta,fiza gai to baharo me ji nahi lagta,na puchh mujse tere gum me kya gujarti hai,yahi kahunga hazaron me ji nahi lagta

96.Never search ur happiness in others which will makeu feel alone,but search it in urself u will feel happy even if uare left alone

97.Kafi hai husn ko behlane ke liye,mohabbat karlo dil ko dukhane ke liye,chahe bhale pade gam se vasta,ek hum jaisa dost rakhna sab gamo ko bhulane ke liye

98.Fiza par asar hawaon ka hota hai,mohabbat par asar adaon ka hota hai,koi aisa hi kisi ka diwana nahi hota,kuch kasoor to nigahon ka hota hai

99.Pyar ke ujalo me gum ka andhera kyu aata hai,jisko hum chahte hai wohi kyu rulata hai,mere khuda agar wo mera naseeb nahi to aise logon sekyu milata hai

100.Waqt guzrega hum bikhar jayenge,kaun jane ke hum kidhar jayenge,hum apki parchayi hain yaad rakhna,jahan tanhai mili wahan hum nazar ayenge

Aapki muskan hamari kamzori hai, Keh na pana hamari majburi hai, Aap kyon nahin samajhte is khamoshi ko, Kya khamoshi ko zuban dena zaruri hai?

Romantic SMS, Romantic Hindi SMS, 144 Characters

Ikraar mein shabdon ki ehmiyat nahi hoti, Dil ke jazbaat ki awaaz nahi hoti, Aankhen bayaan kar deti hain dil ki daastan, Mohabbat lafzon ki mohtaaz nahi hoti!


http://www.jijasali.com/?language=hindi&category=romantic&PHPSESSID=026743f7cbd6996241318ec5396b1821

http://www.jijasali.com/?category=romantic&PHPSESSID=026743f7cbd6996241318ec5396b1821



Kitna bhi chaho na bhol paoge Kitna bhi chaho na bhol paoge Hum se jitna dur jao nazdik pao ge Humein mita sakte ho to mita do yaadein meri, magar.. kya sapno se juda kar pao ge humein.


Yaadon ki parchayee mein ab to aaye tera hi cehra Tu abhi tak iss baat se hai anjaan main hoon deewana tera Izhaar-e-mohabaat karne to bahot baar socha maine Par har baar tere hi aks ne roka hai rastaa mera


Na chaho kisi ko itna ki chahat aapki majburi ban jaye, chaho kisi ko itna aapka pyaar uske liye jaruri ban jaye


Pani main pathar mat pheko Koi pani pita hai Pani main pathar mat pheko Koi pani pita hai Apne chehre par muskuhart sajaye rakha karo Koi isi muskan ke liye jita hai


Sabhi nagme saaz mein gaye nahi jaate, sabhi log mehfil mein bulaaye nahi jaate, kuch paas reh kar bhi yaad nahi aate, kuch dur reh kar bhi bhoolaye nahi jaate...


Har pal ne kaha ek pal se... Pal bhar ke liye aap mere samne aa jao... pal bhar ka saath kuch aisa ho... ki har pal tum hi yaad aao...












.Humse door jayoge kaise, Dil se hume bhulayoge kaise, Hum to vo khusboo hain jo aapki saanso mein baste hain, Khud ki saanso ko rok payoge kaise


Jab tanhai me aapki yaad aati hai, Hontho pe ek hi fariyad aati hai... Khuda aapko har khushi de, Kyonki aaj bhi hamari har khushi aapke baad aati hai..


Talaash Karo koi tumhe mil jayega, Magar hamari tarha tumhe kaun chahega, Zarur koi chahat ki nazar se tumhe dekhega, Magar ankhein hamari kahan se layega..!!


Jub Khamosh Aankho Se Baat Hoti Hai Aise Hi Mohabbat Ki Suruwat Hoti Hai Tumhare Hi Khayalo Mein Khoye Rehte Hain Pata Nahi Kab Din Kab Raat Hoti Hai


Khud Ko Khud Ki Khabar Na Lage

Koi Achha B Is Kadar Na Lage

Ap Ko Deka He Bs Us Nzr Se

Jis Nzr Se Ap Ko Nazar Na Lage














Zarurat hi nai alfaaz ki, pyaar to cheez hai bas ehsaas ki, paas hote to manzar hi kya hota, dur se hi khabar hai hume aapki har saans ki...


Kashish honi chahiye kisi ko yaad karne ki, lamhe to apne aap mil jayenge, waqt hona chahiye kisi ko milne ka, bahane to apne aap hee mil jayenge.


Lamhe judai ke bekarar karte hain, Haalat meri mujhe laachar karte hain, Aankhe meri pad lo kabhi, Ham khud kaise kahe ki hum aapse pyaar karte hain.


Ajib si kashish he ap me

Ki hum ap k khayalon me khoye rhte he

Ye soch kr k ap khawabo me aoge

Hum din me V soya krte he


Badalna aata nahi humko mousmo ki tarah Har ek roop main tera intezaar karte hain Na tum samet sakogi jise qayamat tak Kasam tumhari tumhe itna pyar karte hain.


Apke aane se zindagi kitni khubsoorat hai, Dil me basayi hai jo woh apki hi surat hai, Dur jaana nahi humse kabhi bhulker bhi, Hume har kadam per aapki zarurat hai.














If Your asking if I Need U the answer is 4Ever.. If Your askin if I'll Leave U the answer is Never.. If Your askin what I value the Answer is U.. if Your askin if I love U the answer is I do.

Romantic SMS, Romantic English SMS, 198 Characters

I dream about you evey night I shiver when your in sight I long to hold you close n tight I wanna be there with all my might I m just hoping I'm the girl whos right


When i look at you, i cannot deny there is God, cause only God could have created some one as wonderful n beautiful as you


if i reached for your hand , will u hold it ? If i hold out my arms, will u hug me ? If i go for your lips, will u kiss me ? If i capture ur heart , will u love me ??


Love me but, leave me not, Kiss me but, miss me not, Hit me but, hate me not, Remember me but, forget me not.

New Year SMS, New Year English SMS, 112 Characters

Smile in Pleasure Smile in Pain Smile when trouble pours like Rain Smile when sum1 Hurts U Smile becoz SOMEONE still Loves to see u Smiling!!


http://www.jijasali.com/?language=english&category=romantic&PHPSESSID=026743f7cbd6996241318ec5396b1821


http://www.jijasali.com/?language=english&category=new+year&PHPSESSID=026743f7cbd6996241318ec5396b1821

http://www.jijasali.com/?category=new+year&PHPSESSID=026743f7cbd6996241318ec5396b1821









No shadows 2 depress u only joys 2 surround u many friends 2 luv u God himself 2 bless u These r my wishes 4 u, for today, tommorrow & everyday


C.L.I.C.K. means :

C= cant live without u L= love u I= i miss u C= care about u K= kiss from my heart 2 u So whenever u miss me just say CLICK.


Don't go for looks, they can deceive Don't go for wealth even that fades away.

Go for sum1 who makes u smile becoz only a smile makes a dark day seem bright..


As days go by, my feelings get stronger, To be in ur arms, I can't wait any longer. Look into my eyes & u'll see that it's true, Day & Night my thought r of U..


All I wanted was sum1 2 care 4 me All I wanted was sum1 who'd b there 4 me All I ever wanted was sum1 who'd b true All I ever wantedwas sum1 like U...


Love is like a CD track That links our hearts together Dont ever break that CD coz That wud break my heart too.........












Msg:some text misingSender:Name MisingNo Mising Sent:Date mising Mising U a lot thats y Arythng is mising


softly d leaves fo memories wil fal, i'll pick them up & gather them all, coz 2day, 2moro & til my life is through i'll cherish having sum1 like u!


Memories r treasured

no1 can steal

Parting is heartache

no1 can heal

Sum'll 4get u wen ur gon

but i'll rmbr u

no mater hw long


I m on a mission: Misson 2 avoid u, 2 forgetu, 2 get rid of u, 2 not 2 talk 2u or meet u, in short.... MISSION IMPOSSIBLE!!


D smallest word is I, the sweetest word is LOVE and the dearest person in the world is U. tats y I Love You..:)












Dear O Dear, ur not near but i can hear dont get fear Ur memories r here liv wid cheer no mere tear and ur mine forever!


Q:Wat is luv? * * * * A:Luv is wen sum1 breaks ur heart n d most amazing thing is tat u still luv them wid every broken piece...!


A word to say, a word to hear Even in ur absence i feel u near R relation is strong..hope it goes long v wil remain d same til d life goes on!


U may miss me U may ignore me U may even forget me But one day if u wanna c me Dont search, just c ur shadow i wil be thr...Trust Me!!


I'll stand here 4ever, If 4ever's what it takes, because u r my 4ever, and 4ever always waits.....














My past says u met me My future says u wil care 4 me My present says u wil understand me But my heart says u wil Always Remember ME!


Red or white short or tall wrapped in silver not wrapped at all under covers inside a box shapes & sizes love comes in lots.


Ur precious love has turned my life completely around, I feel lik Im wlaking but my feet dont seem 2 touch d ground..!!


Ur d angel who I cherish so dearly in tis heart of mine, d 1 who makes my day brighter, by making my whole world shine..!


Wenever I miss U, I wont luk 4u in my dreams or try 2 hear ur voice in ur msgs. I'll jus put my right hand across mychest n feel U!


In life luv is neither planned nor does it happen 4 a reason but when d luv is real it becums ur plan 4 life n reason 4 living..!


Live 4 d person ho dies 4u, Smile 4 d person ho cries 4u,













Fight 4 d person ho protects u, n luv d person ho luvs u more than u..!


U'll alwys b mine 4 now n 4ever. U'll alwys b mine 4 ur my treasure. U'll always b mine pls tel me its true. Pls b mine 4everi'll always luv u...!


Wen a TOUCH could HEAL a wound Wen EYES'S cud SPEAK volumes Wen a SMILE can confirm I M THERE then why do v need owrds 2 say'I LOVE YOU.'

Titanic was sinking. An englishman asked Santa, "How far is land"? Santa: 2 KMs. Englishman jumped into sea. Englishman: Now, which direction? Santa: Downwards!

Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta English SMS, 165 Characters

Santa: Ghar ka saara keemti samaan chhupa ke rakh do, mere dost aa rahe hain. Jeeto: Kyon! Aapke dost chura lengey? Santa: Nahin, pehchan lengey.

Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta Hindi SMS, 149 Characters

Two days of powercut in Delhi had made life miserable. Worst affected was Delhi Metro station where families of Santa & Banta were struck for 48 hrs on escalators


A sweet girl goes to Banta's shop and said: Mujhe underwear dikhao. Banta sharmate hue: Aaj pehan kar nahin aaya.


Santa: Woh ladki kitni sundar hai!

http://www.jijasali.com/?language=hindi&category=santa+banta

http://www.jijasali.com/?category=santa+banta

http://www.jijasali.com/?language=english&category=santa+banta










Banta: Mujhe uska naam pata hai. Santa: Kya naam hai uska? Banta: Woh bank mein kaam karti hai, uske counter ke upar uska naam likha tha "CHAALU KHAATA"


Translation from hindi to english, "Khushi ke mare uski chaati phool gayi". Santa: Due to happiness, his chest became breast.


How did santa tried to kill a bird??

He took it to the top of a building and dropped it from there to die.


Santa: I have swallowed a kay. Doctor: When? Santa: 3 months back! Doctor: What were you doing till now? Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too.


Santa ki shaadi ek nrse se ho gayi. Banta:Aur kaisi nibh rahi hai? Snt: Puch mat yar,jab tk sister na kaho,bolti hi nahi.


In a train compartment husband: Darling, mujhe to tumhari aatma se pyar hai, tumhare jism ki mujhe koi chah nahin. Main tumhari rooh ko chahta hoon, tumhara shareer to main kutton ko daal doon. Banta sitting on upper berth says: BOW BOW


Banta: Yeh chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho? Santa: Suicide karne ke liye Banta: To phir ubalne kui kya zaroorat hai? Santa: Kahin infection na ho jaaye
















Girl: Will u marry me? Santa: No, humare yahan shaadi sirf relatives mein hi hoti hai. Mummy ne Papa se, Didi ne Jijaji se aur Bhaiya ne Bhabhi se


Santa: Bhagwane suit bada sohna paya hai. Jeeto: Thank u G Santa: Lipstick badi sohni laayi aa. Jeeto: Thank u G. Santa: Shingaar v sohna kitaa aa. Jeeto: Thank u G Santa: Par sohni pher v nahi lagdi...

Santa Banta SMS, Santa Banta Punjabi SMS, 208 Characters

Santa ne apne nawen jamme bachche nu pakdeya per usne Santa te sussu karta. Santa to nurse: Bibi eh piece leak karda hai badal k le aa..!


Ek baar Santa Gangubai ke ghar jaata hai aur darwaza knock karta hai. Gangubai: Kaun ? Santa: Main ! Gangubai: Main kaun? Santa: Tu Gangubai


Santa joined NASA. After one month the Americans had to change the name from NASA to SATYANASA


Santa was drawing money from ATM. Banta, who was just behind him in the line said: I've seen ur password. It’s ****. Santa: U r wrong. It’s 1394.


Nurse came out with the newborn kid, Santa rushed 2 her & after seeing the kid he shouted, BETA hua BETA. She slapped him: Leave my finger, u fool, It’s a gal


Santa falls in love with a nurse... After much thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her: "I luv u sister."









http://www.jijasali.com/?language=punjabi&category=santa+banta







Bnta ped pe chada to upar bathe bandar ne puucha: Upar kyo ayaBnta:Apple khaneBndr:Yeh to am ka ped he Bnta:Paa he apl sath laya hu


Santa asked Banta: Why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in evening? Banta: Very simple, because he is PM not AM.


Santa dials a number. A girl receives the call. Santa: Who r u? Girl: Seeta here. Santa: Maine to Chandigarh phone kiya tha, yeh to Ayodhya mil gaya.


Santa: Sir hun meri salary wada deyo, mera vyah ho gaya hai. Boss: Factory de bahar hon wale hadseyaan layi factory jimmevar nahin hundi.


Pappu while filling up a form: What should I write against mother tongue.? Santa: Very long...!


Santa ke bagiche mein bahut sare ped - paudhe thay, Santa naukar ko bola ped-paudhon ko pani dal. Naukar: Sahab baarish ho rahi hai. Santa: Abe to Chatri leke dal.


Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller? Pappu: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl.


















Santa: Yaar mein apni girlfriend nu gift dena hai, ki devan? Banta: Gold ring de de. Santa: Koi vadi cheez das yaar. Banta: Tan fer MRF da tyre de de.


Banta:truck dekhkar tum kampte kyo ho? Santa: Ek truck drvr meri biwi lekar bhag gya tha, har bar lagta he jese usko vapas karne aya he


A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell. Santa doesn’t turns up for 4 days. Lady calls again, Santa replies: I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out.


Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatos 5 days ago, he hasn't came back yet! Santa: Why don't u cook something else?


Santa waiting at bus stop in UK along with 3 women. When bus arrived, conductor picked the women & said: No more, no more

Santa: Saaleya Morniya char laiyan, meri wari no more.


Santa:Itne kam marks? Do thapad marne chahiye. Son:Ha papa, chalo mene us sale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.


Pappu was writing his father's name on a 1000 Watt bulb. Santa asked him: What are you doing? Pappu: Aapka naam roshan kar raha hoon.


An englishman and santa inside the toilet. Englishman: Good evening, how do u do? Santa: Good evening, we open the zip and do!
















Santa to Pappu: Where's Sukhna Lake? Pappu: Pata nahi. Santa: Kabhi ghar se bhi nikla karo. Pappu: Who's Banta? Santa: Pata nai. Pappu: Kabhi ghar me bhi raha karo.


Jeeto yelled at santa: U're gonna b really sorry! I'm going to LEAVE you! Santa: Make up ur mind, which one is it gonna be!


Santa went to see a gal for marriage. Their families decided to leave them for some talk. After some time santa asks: "behenji, tusin kinne behen-bhai ho?" Girl: "Vaise taan 3 si, par hun 4 ho gaye."


Santa: Do you know English? Banta: Yes Santa: Ok! Then tell what is the opposite of NAAG PANCHAMI? Banta: So simple Yaar... NAAG DO NOT PUNCH ME.


Santa apni GF ko I love u kehta aur gir jata.

Girl: Yeh kya kar rahe ho?

Santa : I am falling in love.


Lady doctor: tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khade ho kar aurto ko kyon ghurte ho?

Santa: ji aap hi ne bahar likha hai "aurton ko dekhne ka samay subah 10 se 12".


Masterji: kal school kyu nahi aaya.















Santa: Gir gaya tha or lag gayi. Masterji: kahan gire, kahan lagi? Santa: Takiye pe gira tha aur AANKH lag gayi..


Santa & banta sending sms 2 their gfs. Santa:mai tere mobile se apni gf ko sms bheju dekhte hain kya kahti hai? Banta: No, agar usne handwriting pehchan li to...?


Santa opened a petrol pump, but not even one customer went there. You know why?

Because he opened petrol pump on second floor..


Ultimate answer while changing the job. Interviewer: Why did you changed your last job? Santa: Because the company shifted and didn't tell me where..


Santa's urine report got exchanged with a ladies pregnancy report. Dr. told santa, "you are pregnant". Angry santa shouts at wife, "Maine pehle hi kaha tha, mujhe upar rehne de".


Santa and Banta went for a drive. Santa: Hey, look out from the window, are the indicators working or not? Banta puts his head out & says "Yes-No, Yes-No, Yes-No, Yes-No!!!"


Santa (on phone): Maa, khushkhabri hai! Maa: Bolo beta. Santa: Hum, 2 se 3 ho gaye. Maa: Badhai ho, ladka hua ya ladki. Santa: Na ladka, na ladki. Maine doosri shaadi karli.
















Santa was inserting dog's tail into pipe. Banta: Oye, kutte ki dum kabhi seedhi nahi hoti. Santa: Idiot, main to pipe bend kar raha hoon.


Santa's wife dies. He is calm, but his wife's lover is crying furiously... Finally, santa consoles him: Don't worry buddy, I will marry again.


Santa: "Kitna padhey likhe(qualified) ho?" Banta: "B.A." Santa: "Saala, 2 akshar padha, woh bhi ulta?"


Why did santa keep the door open while bathing? Because he was afraid that someone might watch him from the key hole.


Santa phoned his wife: I am not coming home. The stearing, dash board, gears of car have been stolen. After sometime he calls again: I am coming, earlier I sat on the back seat.


History teacher asked Santa: Name kalidas's brother who was a shoemaker. Santa: Adidas


Santa giving exam while standing at the door. A man asked "Why are you standing at the door?" Santa: "Idiot, I am giving entrance test."


Santa: Mom, last night when I opened the toilet door, the light went on itself. Mother: Idiot, you again peed in the refrigerator!


















Santa's shayari: Kutta marr gaya razai vich, main pagal ho gaya teri judai vich, fernail te machchar beh nahi sakda, main tere bina hun reh nahi sakda.


Santa: Bhaisahab time kya hua? Man: Sham ke 6 baje hain! Santa: Sala, subah se pooch raha hoon, sab alag alag time bata rahe hain.


Teacher to santa: where were you born? Santa: Thiruvananthapuram Teacher: can u spell it? Santa (after thinking for some time): I think I was born in GOA.


Santa: "God, if you give me 100 rupees, I will donate 50 rupees in temple".

(After waliking some distance, he finds a 50 rupee note)

Santa: "Shame on you God, you don't even trust me a little? You have already taken your share!"


Santa looking at himself in the mirror, "I have seen this man somewhere". After half an hour, "Oh, its the same man, who married my wife."


While walking in the highlands Santa fell down a deep hole. Banta: R u ok? Santa: Yeah! Banta: Did u break anything? Santa: No, there's nothing down here.


Santa: Mein tere 64 de 64 dand todd dene hai. Ik hor aadmi ne keha santa 64 nahi 32 Dand hunde ne. Santa: Meinu patta se tu vi bolega is layi tere vi gin laye ne.
















Master: Mein tenu kutte te essay likhan nu keha si, Likh ke kyu nahi liyanda ?

Santa: Ki karda master g, jidan he mein kutte te Pen rakhia oh paj geya!!!


Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge. The judge: What'll you take 30 days or Rs 3000. Santa: I think I'll take the money.


Why did Santa take his pregnant wife Jeeto to Pizza Hut? A: Because they advertised: 'Free Delivery'


Jab dosti ki dastan waqt sunayega, Tumko bhi koi shaks yaad ayega, Tab bhool jayenge zindgi ke gam ko, Jab apke sath guzara samay yaad ayega.


Don’t rush in love for it never runs out. Let love be the one to knock at your door, so by the time you start to fall, you know that your feeling is for sure.


What’s missing in H__RT? EA or U? Pick EA & you’ll get a heart! If u pick U, you’ll get hurt! I'd pick U coz it's better to get hurt than hv a heart without U.


To live this life I need a heartbeat, to have a heartbeat I need a heart, to have a heart I need happiness and to have happiness I need you!


I have liked many but loved very few yet no one has been as sweet as you. I'd stand & wait in the world's longest queue just 4 the pleasure of a moment with u.
















Pappu, while filling up a form: Dad, what should I write against mother tongue.? Santa: Very long!


How do you recognize Santa's son, Pappu, in School? A: He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board.


A lady asked Santa: LIPTON di chah hai? Santa replied: Mainu ta nahi hai ji, tainu hai ta lipat ja...


Santa: I kiss my wife everyday before leaving for office, what about u? Banta: Me too, after u leave.


Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai. Santa: Hai. Frog: Nahin hai. Santa: Hai. Frog: Nahin hai & jumps into the well. Santa: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.?


Banta ek sadhu se bola: Baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao. Sadhu: Beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?


Preeto: Raat ko aap peeke gutter mein gir gaye the. Banta: Kya bataoon, sub galat sangati ka asar hai, hum 4 dost... 1 bottle, aur woh teeno kambhakt peeten nahin.


















Santa: I’m a proud father. My son is in medical college. Banta: What’s he studying?" Santa: He's not studying, they are studying him!


Banta: Name the 3 fastest means of communication. Santa: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman.


Santa standing on platform suddenly jumps on the railway track. Banta: Santa u'll die. Santa: U'll die bcoz haven’t u heard train is coming on platform.


Nurse: Congrats Santa ji, aap papa ban gaye. Santa: Meri wife ko nahi bolna mein use surprise dunga!


Why did Santa throw the butter out of the window? A: He wanted to see butterfly!


What's Ford? Santa: Gaadi. What's Oxford? Santa: So simple, Bail Gaadi.


Jeeto: U tell a man something, it goes in one ear & comes out of the other. Santa: U tell a woman something, it goes in both ears & comes out of the mouth.


Santa: My mother-in-law was bitten by a mad dog! Banta: Oh! That’s terrible. Santa: Yes, it was sad to watch the dog die in convulsions
















Q: A Man asked Santa, "Akal badhi ya bhains? " A: Santa bola, "Pehle date of birth to batao."


Q: A Man asked Santa, "Akal badhi ya bhains? " A: Santa bola, "Pehle date of birth to batao."


Santa walks into a library & says, "Can I have a burger and coke?" Librarian, "I'm sorry, this is a library." Santa whispers, "Can I have a burger & fries?"


Teacher: I want you to tell me the longest sentence you can think of. Pappu: Life imprisonment!


Santa found answer to the most difficult question ever- What comes first - the chicken or the egg? O yaar, jiska order pehle doge, vo ayega!


Petrol ke rate badhne par Santa bola: "Menu koi farak nahin penda. Pehle bhi 100 ka bharwata tha ab bhi 100 ka bharwata hoon."


Santa: My dad was an extremely brave man. He once entered a lion's cage. Banta: He probably got a lot of applause ven he got out. Santa: I didn't say he got out.


Banta: Why is the Police nicknamed "The heart of the country"? Santa: It beats, beats, beats.


















Once Professor Santa asked a plumber to come to his college. You know why? Because he wanted to check from where the question paper is leaking.


Preeto 2 maid: Oh Kanta, I hv reason 2 suspect that Banta is having an affair with his secretary. Kanta: I don't believe it! U r just trying 2 make me jealous.


Jeeto: I didn't know you smoked. When did you start? Preeto: That night my husband came home early and found a cigarette butt in the ashtray.


Santa (reading from book of facts): "Do you know that every time I breathe a man dies?" Banta: "Why don't you use a mouth wash?"


The problems with GUYS:

If u TREAT him nicely, he says u are IN LOVE with him; If u Don't , he says u are PROUD. If u DRESS Nicely , he says u are trying to LURE him;If u Don't, he says u are from VILLAGE. If u ARGUE with him, he says u are STUBBORN ; If u keep QUIET , he says u have no BRAINS. If u are SMARTER than him, he'll lose FACE; If he's Smarter than u, he is GREAT.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/iforINDIA





























If u don't L ove him, he tries to POSSESS u; If u Love him! , he will try to LEAVE u.(very true huh?) If u don't make love with him., he says u don't Love him; If u do !! he says u are CHEAP. If u tell him your PROBLEM, he says u are TROUBLESOME;If u don't , he says that u don't TRUST him. If u SCOLD him, u are like a NANNY to him; If he SCOLDS u, it is because he CARES for u. If u BREAK your PROMISE, u Cannot be TRUSTED;If he BREAKS his, he is FORCED to do so.If u SMOKE , u are BAD girl; If he SMOKES, he is GENTLEMAN . If u do WELL in your exams, he says it's LUCK ; If he does WELL , it's BRAINS. If u HURT him, u are CRUEL;If he HURTS u, u are too SENSITIVE!! & sooo hard to please!!!!!

If u send this to guys, they will swear that it's not true....... but if u don't, they say u are selfish.....The moral of the story is....... SEND THIS TO GUYS OUT THERE ANYWAY ... Send it to girls also, gives them some laughter

Rang udaye Pichkari rang se rang jaye duniya sari holi ke rangaapke jeevan ko rang de ye shubha kaana hai hamariHAPPY HOLI

Pichkari ki dhargular ki baucharapno ka pyaryahi hai HOLI ka tyoharWishing you and your family a very hapyN colourful HOLI.















































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