Boost your child's mind

New parents:organic vs inorganic

Make Believe

Struggles:I’m not listening

Things kids Really need

Tips of the trade:discipline + timeouts

Rainy dayswith Rachel Denbow

the creative balance of parenting issue 1 . Summer 2010

The CoverSummer 2010 . issue 1

Cats CraddlePhotography by Heather Brianne Shields

Child model Zoey Isabelle Pratchios, age 4

Summer 2010

6 Things kids Really need

By Rachel Denbow

make believe

By Andrea Atkins

Boost your childs mind

By Eric Muller

features summer 2010

14

22

28

6 Things kids Really need

By Rachel Denbow

make believe

By Andrea Atkins

Boost your childs mind

By Eric Muller

Food Fun for kidsBy Sandra Williams

StruggleDr Victoria Samuel

Tips of the tradeBy Donna Raskin

New parents

By Nicole Thelin

columns summer 2010

6

8

10

12

6 seesaw sum

mer.2010

same healthy food different presentation By Sandra WilliamsFood Fun for kids

Here are a few fun and healthy food ideasAnts on a log are so simple and kids love it! All you need is a little celery, peanut butter and raisins.

A ham and cheese sandwich for example is very plain, yet wrap that in a tortilla or on a pita and it’s an exciting new meal.

Make a smiley face on a muffin with raisins or out of vegetables with dip to make healthy food look more edible to kids.

Cut apples into bite size portions and make a dip with yogurt.

Use metal cookie cutters to make different shaped pancakes. (Pour the batter inside a heart, elephant, star etc.) You can also shape bread with cookie cutters for sandwiches.

Make a popsicle out of a banana by inserting a popsicle stick into it. If you put a little syrup on it then coconut, nuts or raisins will stick to it before freezing.

Freeze some grapes, bananas, cherries, or maybe peaches and blend with yogurt for a fruit smoothie.

Fruit s’mores! Take graham crackers, your choice of fruit (sliced strawberries, apples, and blueberries work great), and cream cheese. Put it all together and you have fuit s’mores! You can also drizzle a little bit of honey to the mix to add a bit of sweetness while keeping it healthy!

For a quick mini-pizza, top an English muffin (go for the whole grain ones!) with spaghetti sauce and a little shredded low-fat mozzarella. Let children decorate their own pizza offering all sorts of colorful healthy toppings. Broil until the cheese melts.

Finger omelets! Omelets are different in bento boxes. The eggs are made very flat, and then rolled into something that can easily be handled by chopsticks or fingers. They don’t add fillings like we do here, but you could put a thin layer of cheese and maybe a little spinach in there before rolling. Call them Finger Omelets and you’ll have a new taste sensation your kids will love.

For packed lunches, mix things up by using bento boxes instead of lunch boxes! Their little compartments are really fun for kids and also keep food separate without using a bunch of ziplock bags. Just google “bento boxes” and a list of online stores that sell bentos will show up! They range from $4.00-$16.00 in price and come in a large variety of styles and functions.

For great bento meal ideas go to: http://susanyuen.wordpress.com.

How do our kids know when food is good for them? It seems that they can uncannily pick out the most nutritious item on their plates to turn up their noses at. Whatever it is that gives them the inside scoop, as parents it’s our job to find a way to counteract it. After many years of fighting with my kids about eating and trying to sneak vegetables into food where they wouldn’t be noticed, I have come to a couple of conclusions. Presentation is important. Kids like to see something nice on their plates. I don’t mean to arrange the food like what you would find at a high end restaurant… I mean it should be colorful and preferably bite size.

Japan seems to have it. Do a search for “bento boxes”

and you will be amazed at the artistry and color in these little lunch boxes. Does it look fun to eat? You bet! Who wouldn’t want to eat a boiled egg molded to look like a teddy bear and rice shaped into one of the Mario Brothers? While you certainly don’t have to go this far, you can learn a lot from looking at bento box presentations. The basic concept is colorful food cut into small pieces and arranged to look appealing. Add a small pick or chopsticks and the food is a challenging game as well. Include some sauce or dip in a small container that they can dip the pieces in. Dipping rates highly with my five year old. He freely admits he’ll eat almost any-thing if he can dip it. Make the food creative so they can interact with it while they eat, and make it a fun surprise.

Mix things up. Children can be fickle when it comes to

food and it’s hard to keep up with what they like. One week they might love granola bars, so you stock up on those only for them to inform you the next week they don’t like them anymore and haven’t for at least a year. They seem to have a totally different concept of time. If you offer your children very similar foods that are simply served in a different way or shape and all of a sudden they like them again. Make food more fun for children by being inventive with the shapes and appearance of their diet. Try a new twist on some old favorites and get kids to eat healthy.

Let them help. Kids like to be involved with their food,

so let them help prepare their meals. Kids are fascinated with learning new skills. If it is time for them to learn how to spread something on bread or peel a carrot, all the better. Even if what you are preparing is beyond their skill levels, encourage them to watch and ask questions. You may be amazed at some of the questions they will come up with. Let them taste a bite or two as things are being prepared.

sees

aw su

mm

er.2

010

7

taj m

ahal

ben

to b

y G

amen

e

Food

fun

for k

ids

8 seesaw sum

mer.2010

i'm not listening

Not listening is right up there at the top of the list of things that drive parents crazy. “Go to your room and don’t come out until you’re ready to behave.” “How many times do I have to ask?” “Okay, I’m leaving now... good-bye, I said I’m leaving now. you’ve got to the count of three to get over here!” Before you can expect your child to listen, you need to ensure you really listen to your child. As a parent, the pressure of 101 things that need to get done can sometimes make it hard to listen. But when a child is not feeling listened to, they are more likely to whine, shout or throw a tantrum to get your attention. Careful listening shows that you respect your child’s feelings and gives her space to explore a problem and, often, find her own solution. Being listened to can cause difficult feelings to evaporate... cue less moaning, less tantrums, and less tears. Most importantly, if you listen to your child, they are more likely to listen to you.

How to listen. Give your full attention. Stop what you are doing, turn to your child, make eye contact and listen to what they are saying. Acknowledge what your child is saying with a non-

By Dr Victoria SamuelStruggle

‘How you say something is as important, if not m

ore important, as w

hat you say.”

sees

aw su

mm

er.2

010

9St

rugg

le

committal, simple “Mmm,” “I see,” “Oh,” or “Right.” Often behind what your child is saying (or even behind how they are acting, if not yet talking) is a feeling. Identify the feeling and give it a name. “That sounds frustrating,” or “You’re disappointed that we have to leave now” It’s crucial to accept feelings and resist the temptation to make things better by denying them. Example: “Hey, there’s no reason to be so upset.” Diffuse difficult situations by giving your child his wishes in fantasy. Wave a wand with words! “You’d really like it if you could stay up later,” or “If only I could make that orange juice into your favorite apple juice”

How to communicate.To get your child to listen, think carefully about exactly how you communicate. Subtle differences in words, tone and body language may affect whether your child tunes in or out!

Tone of voice. How you say something is as important, if not more important, as what you say. Use an upbeat, encourag-ing, positive tone as much as possible. And when indicating limits,

sound definite and confident. Any hint of uncertainty and you’re more likely to be ignored and debated. To indicate disapproval, use a firmer, lower, authoritative tone, but don’t shout. Avoid nagging. Ask once nicely, once firmly and then take action. If you typically repeat yourself several times before you take action, your child will learn to ignore your

initial requests.

Body language. Communicate from close by, don’t shout through from the next room. Always get down to your child’s height and make eye contact, an adult towering above a child can be intimidating.

Words. Use clear commands and keep requests brief and to the point. Limit yourself to a few important words (e.g. “8 o’clock. Bedtime”). Avoid accusing (“you never listen!”), criticising (“you’re so lazy”), or threatening (“if you don’t hurry up, then I’ll leave without you”). Also avoid phrasing which implies that coopera-tion is an option! “Shall we...?” “Could you...” gives your child a get out clause (i.e. “No!”). Instead make requests clear, short, and specific: “Bedtime now.”

How to encourage cooperation. For some children “no” can be the default position when they are asked to do things. Below are some tips to encourage your child’s coopera-tion.

* Make a statement of fact that describes the problem rather than accusing or criticizing. “There’s paint on the table,” or “I can see wrappers on the floor.”

* Give information. “Clothes on the floor don’t dry very quickly,” or “Leaving lights on wastes electricity.”

* Describe how you feel. “I don’t like hearing whining,” or “It bothers me when I see clothes on the floor.”

* Reduce resistance by offering a choice about when or how something is done. “Would you like your hair done before or after breakfast?” or “Do you want to skip to the car like a pony or bound like a dog?”

* Avoid lectures, use one word: “Shoes!” or “Pajamas!”

* Use the “when...then” technique to focus your child on what needs to get done. “When you’ve brushed your teeth, then I’ll read you a story,” or “As soon as your homework’s done, then you can watch TV.”

* Write a note. Children love receiving notes. Be creative, notes don’t just have to come from you! “I like to be hung up.

Please don’t leave me on the floor. Thank you, your towel.”

Praise and reward cooperation. Praise all signs of cooperation with warmth and enthusiasm. Use a reward chart to motivate your child for daily tasks such as getting up, brushing teeth or getting dressed. You can make one yourself. A picture to inspire the task is a great idea and something that you could do together. Use the involvement technique to encourage helpful behavior through positive attention.

discipline & time outs

keep your voice at a reasonable volume and explain to your child that you are losing it.

* Then do what you need to calm down: Walk away for a minute; have a glass of water; take a few breaths; make a phone call. It can be a valuable lesson for your child to watch someone calm herself down after losing her temper.

* Finally, afterwards, explain to your child what just happened to you, letting her know that you are a person who needs to be treated well, just as you treat her. Your child will understand this and appreciate the concept of fair play.

The time out issue. Yes, believe it or not, there is an is-sue with time outs. It is frowned upon to spank your children and now some would even say the same about time outs. However, if you were to ask most parents what the issue with time outs is they might “jokingly” say the issue is that they don’t work very well. It’s true. Time outs frequently end up being a form of punishment for the parents as well as for the children. Many children don’t seem to respond well to time outs. We’ve all been there. Your child acts up, you put them in time out, and things get ten times worse. There is, however, a light at the end of the tunnel! Here are a few tips that may make the

Until your child turns two, you probably don’t think about discipline issues very much. Now all of a sudden, when your child frustrates you or seems to be misbehaving on purpose, you find yourself reacting the same way your parents did in similar situations—you yell, you walk away, or you spank your child. Or maybe you behave in the opposite way of your parents. If they spanked, you become quiet instead. If they yelled, you try time-outs. Discipline is different from punishment and it is very dif-ferent from an impulsive reaction to a behavior. Discipline is something you teach and your children learn. It is not a response, but the understanding that you are guiding your child’s behavior so that she can eventually adapt and internalize your instruction. Rather than paying attention to your child’s negative behav-ior, single out positive behavior of his that you can praise and give attention to. If you only pay attention to negative behavior, your child will feel insecure. By contrast, if you notice and compliment his positive behavior, he will respond in kind with continued good behavior. In other words, negative behavior should be responded to quickly and with as little attention as possible, whereas positive behavior should be rewarded with more attention.

Sharing your child’s perspective. Although they are more aware of rules than one-year-olds, two-year-olds do not break rules intentionally nor do they purposefully try to ma-nipulate their caregivers. Because two-year-olds want your love, approval, and care, it would not occur to them to do something to jeopardize that. On the other hand, two-year-olds want what they want when they want it, and this will naturally put them at odds with your agenda.

Staying in control. There is no question that being a parent can be frustrating and exhausting. Constantly having to monitor a small child’s behavior is a hard job. When a child is being unreasonable and out-of-sorts, it is often very difficult not to lose your temper and begin responding to her yelling and crying in a similar fashion.

* Moms and dads lose their tempers. However, you need to follow (at a bare minimum) the same rules you are setting for your children: no hitting; no out-of-control yelling; no throwing; no name-calling; no being mean.

* Sometimes losing your temper is not the worst thing in the world. You are a person with boundaries and limits, and chil-dren need to see that there is a line they shouldn’t cross. How-ever, when you do lose your temper (this often takes parents by surprise, so it’s actually hard to stop beforehand), do your best to

By Donna Raskin Tips of the trade

10 seesaw sum

mer.2010

next time out session not only much more pleasant but also effec-tive in teaching your child behavior correcting skills.

Guidelines for time outs. Time outs are for children the age 3 or older. Meanwhile, before the age of 3, go to time out with your child. Say, “Let’s take some time out to read a book or listen to music until we feel better.” That way you are modeling the purpose of positive time outs.

* Use a regular amount of time. Suggestion: 1 minute per year of age, 4 years = 4 minutes. This is a reasonable length of time for children to be able to sit still without enertainment. Remember, you want them to succeed in changing their behavior, making time outs too long will not accomplish this.

* Always utilize a timer. There is no arguing or negotiating with a timer. A timer never looses track of time and children understand this.

* Never leave your child completely alone in a room, give them something comporting, something that tells them you will be back once their attitude has changed. Otherwise, they can feel abandoned and this would do more damage than good.

* Play music and encouraging them to move around in their time out zone, whether that be their room, a corner, or a rug, it is beneficial to encourage good mood changing habits. Music and

sees

aw su

mm

er.2

010

11Ti

ps o

f the

tra

de

movement are the best ways to change a bad attitude. Remember, time outs are not about inflicting punishment, they are a learn-ing tool for your children. time outs are all about teaching your children how to calm down, take a breath, and feel better.

The trouble with time outs. Time outs are a time for learning, not a form of punishment. When we give a child a time out as a punishment, we are saying we can only accept the good parts about them and we can’t accept the parts that are having trouble with their feelings. Children also need to feel safe and secure and when we put them in “time out” we are “shunning” them and can make them feel disconnected and rejected. This feeling can actually lead to misbehavior. It’s can be a vicious cycle.

Time out for you. Try putting yourself in time out instead. If you need a moment away from your children, you can excuse yourself instead of your kids. Tell them you are go-ing to timeout. This can be a good lesson for your kids as well. They can observe how you handle time out and may mimic your behavior next time. Let’s face it, sometimes us parents need to fix our attitudes as well. The kids aren’t always the only ones to blame for an unpleasant outburst.

Phot

ogra

phed

by

Hea

ther

Bri

anne

Shi

elds

organic vs inorganic By Nicole ThelinNew parents

12 seesaw sum

mer.2010

18 billion disposable diapers are deposited in landfills annually. These diapers consumed nearly 100,000 tons of plastic and 800,000 tons of tree pulp to create. Still, many parents who want to do what’s best for the envi-ronment aren’t getting the best information. While many blogs, books, and online forums extol the benefits of cloth diapers, help-ing parents feel good about choosing what they see as the greener option, the research shows surprisingly little evidence supporting one over the other. While disposables produce more trash - up to 70 times more than cloth, according to a report from the Univer-sity of Minnesota - reusable diapers consume significant amounts of energy being washed and dried repeatedly. A British government agency based In London, known as the Environment Agency, spent three years investigating the envi-ronmental impact of disposable and cloth diapers. It determined that reusable cloth diapers have the same environmental impact as disposables when the effect of laundering cloth diapers is taken into account. Britain’s Environment Agency also calculated that users of home-laundered cloth diapers can reduce their environ-mental impact by employing a clothesline instead of a dryer.

Health. Diaper rash is a common ailment in babies who are not diapered properly. To prevent this malady, keep the baby’s skin dry and do not leave urine against the skin. Some babies may have chemical or dye allergies that make them more prone to outbreaks. Be mindful of this when purchasing diapers or cleaning agents. Disposable diapers can include dyes, sodium polyacrylate and dioxin. Sodium polyacrylate is used to create the absorbent gel inside the diaper. When eaten, it has been associated with toxic shock syndrome and can be lethal to pets. Dioxin can cause central nervous system damage, and can affect kidney and liver function. On the other hand, harsh cleaning agents used to clean cloth diapers can cause skin irritations. Cloth diapers that are not properly cleaned or sanitized pose serious health hazards as well

Combination approach. There is no right or wrong diaper. Some parents opt to use both types of diapers, depending on the situation. Cloth diapers are ideal for use at home, where close access to the washer and dryer makes clean up easier. Disposables can be used on outings to eliminate the necessity of storing the cloth diapers until they can be taken home and washed. Bedtime or naptime can also be easier to manage when the super-absorbent gel in disposable diapers is used to contain potential messes. Also keep in mind that some babysitters and day cares refuse to handle cloth diapers; it may be necessary to use disposable diapers when the baby is being watched by someone else.

All in all, it seems that the choice between cloth and disposable diapers is not in the products, it’s in the people.

New parents are faced with numerous choices to make. From natural or medicated childbirth to breast or bottle feeding, no decision is made lightly. In a quest to find greener solutions, many parents today are taking a fresh look at cloth diapers. Problem is, they may not always be making the greener choice. The choice of “diapering system” is not one to be taken lightly. Parents will be dealing with it several times a day, every day, for a couple of years. When you have a baby, diapers are a big deal.

Convenience. Disposables are undoubtedly convenient. They are thrown away as soon as they are soiled. No clean-ing is necessary. Absorbent materials make changes less urgent, although prolonged exposure to a soiled diaper can causes rashes and other health complications in children. Improvements in cloth diapers have made them nearly as convenient as disposables. Cumbersome safety pins have been replaced with velcro, hook & loop, and snap fasteners. Elastic has been added around the legs to prevent messy leaks. Cloth diapers can also be purchased with multiple layers, including a flushable liner that enables parents to simply lift out the soiled portion and flush it. The cloth fabric remains reasonably clean and can be

washed without leaving any residue in the washing machine.

Cost. The cost of diapering a baby is usually one of the greatest expenses associated with raising a child. According to The New Parent’s Guide, parents can expect to pay $50 to $80 each month for disposables. A cloth diaper-cleaning service will cost roughly the same amount. Parents who use cloth diapers and wash them at home can save some money, but will still spend approximately $25 to $60 per month. Name-brand disposable diapers can be very expensive. Par-ents who use these diapers can save money by purchasing generic brands, using coupons, buying in bulk, or asking for diapers as gifts at baby showers and other events. In areas where cloth diapers are popular, the cost of a diaper-cleaning service may be driven lower by competition. Parents who wash cloth diapers at home will experience varied expenses based on the cost of electricity, soap, water, maintenance wear on the washer and dryer, and the quality of cloth used to create the diaper. Some cloth diapers are more durable than oth-ers. Some will last for only a few washings before they will need to be replaced.

Environment. Disposable diapers are thrown away and eventually end up in landfills. The Clean Air Council estimates that the average child uses 8,000 to 10,000 disposable diapers before they are potty trained. In the United States alone,

sees

aw su

mm

er.2

010

13ne

w p

aren

ts

ph

otog

rap

hed

by

An

dre

w K

enn

eth

Gay

by

AndreaAtkins

Should you let your child play unsupervised?

Allow her to walk to school alone?

and the one they don’t

helping you raise your kids. But

wha

t is i

t that they

In th

is age

Go online

really need?

of in

formation overload,

of tips aimed at

parenting advise is everywhere.

and you’ll fi nd a tidal w

ave

6Things

kids reallyneed

kids really

sees

aw su

mm

er.2

010

156

Thin

gs k

ids

Real

ly n

eed

1

Childhood has become “a pressure packed preadulthood,” says Edward M. Hallowell, PhD, author of The Childhood roots of Adult Happiness: Five Steps to Help Children Create and Sustain Lifelong Joy. “Kids are trying to make partner in the first grade.” It’s not that their parents didn’t love them; they just confuse raising children with turning out perfect products. Instead, he says, Parents should focus on making their children feel connected to their family and their community, and success (and everything else) will follow. So here’s your reality check; the essential components to raising happy, healthy kids.

Above all else,

se

nse from

their parents.

children need common

“I love you”s Of course you love your kids. Do you remember to tell them? “I never knew a kid whose parents told him too many times that they loved him,” says Laurence Steinberg, MD, a psychology professor at Temple University and author of The Ten Basic Principles of Good Parenting. And it’s more than just the words; it’s consistently showing them interest, affection, and concern. That’s why Obette D’Aniello of Tacoma, Washington, make sure every morning to offer her young children “special love.” “I sit down and cradle each one, wrap him or her with a warm blanket and softly scratch their back while chatting about random stuff, and telling them how lucky I am to have them,” she says. But for many parents– especially as kids get older, busier and less communicative– telling them how you feel can be more easily expressed through actions. Louise Morgenstern of Santa Monica, California, shows her three teens love by getting to know their friends. She even keeps a gallon of mint chocolate chip ice cream in the freezer– for her son’s best friend. “It’s his favorite flavor, and he comes into the house, goes right to the freezer and scoops himself a bowl,” she says. “With teenagers, it’s not about telling them you love them but showing them you know what they care about. At that age, it’s their friends.”

16 seesaw sum

mer.2010

A

32 good con- versation On their way to registration for her daughter’s ninth year of piano lessons, Maureen Anderson of Detroit Lakes, Minnesota, asked Katie, 14, a simple ques-tion: “What do you like about taking piano?”“Being able to say I haven’t quit,” Katie said. “What don’t you like about it?” her surprised mom then asked. “Practicing. Lessons. And the recitals.” Basically everything. When they got to the music school, instead of register-ing for more lessons, Katie unregistered for piano. “I learned what Katie thought by ask-ing a couple of questions and listening to the answers,” Maureen says.

structure and limits Have you ever been in a restaurant where the child at the next table is simply out of control, throwing things or refusing to stay seated? You watch as the indifferent parents ignore her behavior, and you wonder what’s going on? “American parents err on the side of leniency compared with parents from most other parts of the world,” says Dr. Steinberg. “In the last generation or two, there has been a blurring of boundaries between U.S. parents and their children, and it makes parents more reluctant to impose their authority. Boundaries actually make kids more confident says Lenore Skenazy, author of Free–Range Kids; How to Raise Safe Self Reliant Children (Without Going Nuts with Worry). “That’s what gives kids the reassurance to try things. Say you’re at the beach, and you tell your child she can only go so far into the water. If she knows going this far is okay, then she can frolic with abandon with that area without wondering, ‘Are there sharks here?’” Think of discipline as the strength of parenting: You can show your kids where the “sharks” are and where they’re not.

sees

aw su

mm

er.2

010

176

Thin

gs k

ids

Real

ly n

eed

Take the time to really “hear” your kids, because that will make them more likely to talk to you regularly. “A lot of parents rush to solve things for their children,” says Casey Decola, MSW, a counselor with the Rye Youth Counsel in Rye, New York. “Especially with teenagers, we tend to panic. We say, ‘You know what you should do?’ And then we tell them, instead of listening and allowing them to fully get out what they are trying to say without judging it.” Instead of offering advice, ask questions that can help them to come to conclusions on their own. “Make eye con-tact. Sit with your kids and give them the respect of listening in a way they deserve,” Decola says. But how do you get your child to talk? “It’s normal for adolescents to want more privacy than they did as children,” says Dr. Steinberg. “But if parents engage their teens in genuine, interested (and interesting) conversation, the kids will talk. The problem is, too many parents ask perfunctory questions like ‘How was school today?’ or equate talking or lecturing.” And keep in mind that to get the dialogue going at all, you first need to be around. So schedule a regular walk or board game to gave you uninterrupted time together.

sees

aw su

mm

er.2

010

196

Thin

gs k

ids

Real

ly n

eed

4 something shared Have you had a moment today where you really connected with your child? Did you share a joke, a hug, or a game of catch? It’s easy to go through the day telling your child what to do and never fully engage with each other. When kids feel connected to you, they learn that they are connected to people outside the family, and that the way they act has an effect on others. “Feeling like you have a place in the world and people who support you leads to happiness in adulthood,” Dr. Hallowell says. Connectedness should happen naturally in everyday life. “A family dinner, car trip, or regular activity can be a shared joy that leaves you feeling close,” he says. “A lot of parents approach parenting as drudgery, a job that’s a lot of work. What parents and kids need to feel connected to one another is to have fun. Sometimes that can mean doing nothing, but doing it comfortably together.” So plan family activities, shared challenges, even regular dinners to reclaim a sense of fun and joy. Research has shown that children brought up this way are more socially skilled, have a better self image, and think of home as their haven when things go wrong.

Phot

ogra

phed

by

Hea

ther

Bri

anne

Shi

elds

5

“ I lo

ve y

ou” s

st

ructure and limits

g

ood co nversation

have som

e-

thing shared

time play

play ti m

e play

independence ind

epen

dence

play time “The loss of free, undirected play is the biggest loss in modern childhood,” declares Michael Thompson, PhD, author of The Pressured Child: Freeing Our Kids from Performance Overdrive and Helping Them Find Success in School and Life. “Kids need time away from their parents to just play.” And it’s not just because kids enjoy play– it actually helps their brains develop properly. Play is the driving force of childhood, says Stuart Brown, MD, author of Play: How it Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination and Invigorates the Soul. That’s because it helps kids discover their talents and their resourcefulness, and hones their abilities to problem solve and get along with others. Play exercises their imagination and stretches their creativity, while allowing them to try and fail at things in private without judgment. All of this helps them to do better in school, says Dr. Brown, because kids who play have nimble minds and can look a things from different sides. The next time you’re thinking of signing up kids for an activity, first think about whether or not they’ve got enough time each week to just hang out and let their imagination guide them.

independence When New York City mom Lenore Skenazy wrote in The New York Son about letting her 9-year-old son take a subway home by himself, she was vilified in the press and blogosphere as “America’s worst mom.”She has since become an advocate of giving kids more independence and writes about it in her book and blog, FreeRangeKids.com. “The way many people parent today does not prepare kids for adulthood,” Skenazy says. “We wait for them, cheer for their every move, take them to soccer, dance and every other lesson– and we take away their chance to do things on their own.” Her decision to let her son ride the subway came only after hours of navigating the subway together and they both felt confident that he could find his ways. Doing things independently is very important for a child, says Dr. Steinberg, because children feel confident when they feel competent. So letting him go to the store by himself or walk to town tells him you believe in him. The same confidence emerges when a child completes his own science fair or other school project. Of course, help him collect the materials and ask hi questions that will guide him to its completion. But let it be his. So what if it doesn’t look as put-together as the other parent-influenced designs? Your child will feel more satisfied knowing that he has produced something on his own.

And one thing kids don’t need... More Stuff.“Today’s kids have too many toys,” says Dr. Thompson. This teaches kids to always look for “the next new thing” instead of enjoying what they have. “If they’re always looking to material things to entertain themselves, they’ll soon get bored,” he says. It’s easy to substitute toys for affection and attention because “it takes only a little time to buy your child a toy, but much more time to spend an afternoon together doing something fun,” says Dr. Steinberg. “But ultimately, it’s time spent together that will lead to happier kids.” Try these “stuff-free” gifts: • A couple of hours watching family videos and looking at his or her baby pictures. • A day where your child chooses the activity (based on a budget you set). • An afternoon of baking, biking, or building together. • A day where you promise not to nag about homework, chores or any other “musts.” • A sports day: Head outside with bats, balls, or other favorite equipment.

20 seesaw sum

mer.2010

6

st

ructure and limits

have som

e-

sees

aw su

mm

er.2

010

216

Thin

gs k

ids

Real

ly n

eed

Phot

ogra

phed

by

Hea

ther

Bri

anne

Shi

elds

too

muc

h ca

n cr

owd

out

the k

ind

of p

lay

that

is e

ssen

-

for

deve

lopi

ng o

ne o

f th

e m

ost

amaz

ing

gifts

of

child

hood

: imag

inat

ion.

How

ever

, chi

ldre

n al

so n

eed

regu

lar

play

time

that

is

not

focu

sed

on s

truc

ture

, ski

ll bu

ildin

g or

ele

ctro

nics

.

Whi

le th

ose

thin

gs a

re a

ll go

od fo

r ch

ildre

n,

Chi

ldre

nto

day

can

take

par

t

in a

n en

dles

s va

riet

y of

act

iviti

es.

and

from

soc

cer

prac

tice

to k

arat

e,th

ere

is n

o sh

orta

ge o

f sk

ills

for

kids

to le

arn.

Her

e ar

e a

few

tips

to

help

you

r ch

ild’s

imag

inat

ion

grow

.

by

Laura Leigh Fields

Fro

m c

ompu

ter

gam

es to

pia

no le

sson

s,Make Believe

sees

aw su

mm

er.2

010

23m

ake

belie

ve

Phot

ogra

phed

by

Hea

ther

Bri

anne

Shi

elds

Keep things simple.If you ask any parent that has a toddler how to entertain them, it is likely they will list a household item as their child’s favorite toy. In truth, kids don’t need big complicated toys with bells and whistles. They do like them but they also like simple things such as empty boxes, pots and pans, laundry baskets, and wide-open cabinets or spaces to climb in. Any of these items have numerous possibilities for children and their imagination.Use imaginative play with your child.When you are playing with your child add life to the toys. Make noises as you roll cars. Give dolls voices and let them engage in conversa-tion. Pretend to slay dragons with their plastic swords. Show them how to mend the wounds

24 seesaw sum

mer.2010 Achild’s imagination

can range from rampant and vivid to inactive

and vague. In a child’s mind, there are so many possibilities yet at times they seem overwhelming. Imagination is the basis for many great ideas. It is the fuel that powers the creative genius living inside. If a child lacks imagination they may also lack inspiration and confidence. As a parent it is your job to help your child’s imagination grow. For some parents, this may seem like a daunting task but it is really quite easy. There are many tips, tricks, and learning aids that you can use to nurture and encourage your child’s imagination.

of stuffed animals with their doctor toys. Come up with ideas and scenarios that will encourage your child to get more involved with the activity.Encourage outdoor play.Playing out of door is not only fun for your child but also a necessary part of their development. Outdoor play builds strength, endurance, and coordination. Besides all the health benefits, playing outside stretches a child’s way of thinking and their knowledge of the world around them. Outdoor play time allows children to move freely and make noise; forms of self-expression that are often restricted indoors. Ignoring the developmental functions of unstructured outdoor play denies children the opportunity

to expand their imaginations beyond the constraints of the classroom. Explore the world through books.Reading to your child is a wonderful way to help encourage their imagination. There are many possibilities when it comes to the world of reading. As you read the story, change your voice to be different characters. Discuss what you are reading with your child. Ask them how they think the character feels or what is going to happen next. As your child gets older, let them read to you.Write stories together.Create stories with your child. You can write little stories in which your child is the main character. This will help them relate better to what they are reading. Pick favorite

activities to write about and ask your child for details. This is a fun way to help your child understand the idea of bringing stories to life.Teach your child the games you used to play.Introducing your child to the games from your childhood is a great bonding expiri-ence. It is also a good reminder to your of what it is like to be a child, which we can sometimes forget. The games of years past can sometimes be more stimulating to the imagination than todays modern games. Classic games like Cats Cradle encourage children to take a simple object and make something representational with it, which not only stimulates the imagination but also excersizes problem solving skills.

sees

aw su

mm

er.2

010

25m

ake

belie

ve

Phot

ogra

phed

by

Hea

ther

Bri

anne

Shi

elds

Involve music.Children love singsong words. Even at a young age, kids will sway to the sound of a song. They like to move around and let their bodies loosen up. Show your child(ren) how to express themselves through dance and that it doesn’t matter what they look like when they’re dancing as long as they are having fun. You can also teach your child fun songs to sing and provide them with instruments so that they can make their own music.Play dress-up.Playing dress- up is the reason many kids look forward to Halloween. However, it doesn’t have to be a special holiday for a child to dawn their favorite costume. If a child is pretending to be a pirate, princess, or doctor give them outfits that will help them better get into the role. Dressing the part will help kids feel like they are truly the character they are imitating.Ask your child questions.Kids love to question things. They wonder why the grass is green, the sky is blue, and why their sibling got more chips than they

did (even when they really didn’t). Because children have the natural desire to question things, they also have many possible out-comes in their head. Try asking your child why they think the grass is green, what dirt is made out of, or how birds can fly. Their creativity will shine through each answer.Provide toys that will encourage your child to create and imagine.There are many fun toys that have endless possibilities in a child’s world. Give them things such as play dough, moon sand, and clay so that they can form things with their own hands. Building blocks are a great way to design buildings and other fun items. Professional based items such as toy tool kits, toy medical sets, and sports equipment encourage a child to play pretend based on the specific activity.Bring out the artist in your child.When a child has a blank page, the possibilities are endless. Encourage your child to draw, paint, or color. You can give them specific ideas or let them come up with a few of their own. Simple craft projects can help a child build creating confidence. Make paper

bag puppets, aluminum foil projects, and other child friendly activities that your child will enjoy.Choose television programs and movies that will teach and entertain your child. If your child must watch television don’t hand them the remote. Chances are they will pick programs that are less than desir-able. Instead choose programs that are age appropriate and interactive for your child. The idea is to give them ideas and get them involved rather than turning them into a couch potato.Be open to all options.Realize that there is a large world full of imagination opportunities out there. If you try an idea that doesn’t work with your child, search for other options. Ask your child what they would like to do and meet them halfway. Your involvement in your child’s life will be one of the most important tools you will need when it comes to encouraging your child’s imagination. Together, you and your child will find that anything is possible when it comes to the mind.

sees

aw su

mm

er.2

010

27m

ake

belie

ve

Phot

ogra

phed

by

Hea

ther

Bri

anne

Shi

elds

Scientific Principles

are present in almost every decision

that we make. This is just one reason why it is so important to not neglect the subject of

science because it helps to keep our minds sharp. Boosting brain power is just as much for parents

and adults as it is for children. No matter where

you are in life you and your children can

benefit from boosting your brain-power

by doing science projects.

28 seesaw sum

mer.2010

Boost y o u r child’s m i n dby Eric Muller

sees

aw su

mm

er.2

010

29Bo

ost

your

chi

ld’s

min

d

Science projects help to jump start thinking about other subjects. Science has some definite connections to almost every other subject that your child will study in school. Many times in science, chemistry and physics, mathematics is a key element in an experiment or in mak-ing sense of a certain phenomenon. English becomes an important skill when a science re-port is written (as is common practice). Skills in art come through when a child prepares a display of his project. When it comes to science project ideas there is no limit as to how wide the subject matter can spread. There are science projects that teach about the body (biology and physical education), the mind (psychology and

30 seesaw sum

mer.2010 Y

Children have the advantage of being able to have constant stimulation while they are in school. But what about after they get home from school or during the summer? Do not let your childs mind lay dormant. You can help to keep your childs mind sharp by doing science projects as activities in addition to when your child needs help preparing for a fair. Your child will not only benefit from the exposure to the subject material but he or she will be able to enjoy quality time with you.

Your brain is just like any other muscle

in your body. It needs to be worked to stay in shape.

social studies), and the world in which we live (geography). There are ways to easily incorporate all subjects into a single science project. And that means overall improve-ment in school and in the self-confidence of a child. Parents have a profound influence on their children. Children learn primarily by example. Parents need the brain boosting benefits of doing science projects just as much as children do. You cannot expect to sit idly by as your children become little scientists on their own. As a parent you must be an active participant in the education of your child. Doing science projects with your kids will enrich the relationship that you have with each other as well as show

your child that learning is valuable for all people including parents. You may be surprised how much you can benefit from setting aside time to help your child with his science project. You will find that science projects are not just for your kids and your kids will enjoy helping you to learn what they know. Running out of ideas is no excuse. Coming up with creative and fun science project ideas can be challenging. Some parents feel like they have exhausted their options and although they may be excited to do science projects at first, begin to loose interest. Fortunately there are a variety of sources to turn to. Many organizations online allow you to search through their

science project ideas and choose which ones are the best fit for your family. You can instantly download the project packets from the website and get started on a new and interesting project in a matter of minutes. Many times it is difficult to find quality science projects that fit the abilities and interests of your child and that will actually work every time it is tried. If you are looking for dependable science project ideas just search online. Many websites offer a wide variety of science project ideas for children of all ages and abilities. Their easy-to-follow instructions can guide your child through every part of the project including the end report and even the displaying of a finished product.

sees

aw su

mm

er.2

010

31Bo

ost

your

chi

ld’s

min

d

capillary actionWhat you’ll need A glass of water An empty glass Some paper towelsInstructions 1. Twist a couple of pieces of paper towel together until it forms something that looks a little like a piece of rope, this will be the ‘wick’ that will absorb and transfer the water (a bit like the wick on a candle trans-ferring the wax to the flame).

2. Place one end of the paper towels into the glass filled with water and the other into the empty glass. 3. Watch what happens (this experi-ment takes a little bit of patience).What’s happening?Your paper towel rope (or wick) starts getting wet, after a few minutes you will notice that the empty glass is starting to fill with water, it keeps filling until there is an even amount of water in each glass, how does this happen? This process is called ‘capillary action’, the water uses this process to move along the tiny gaps in the fibre of the paper towels. It occurs due to the adhesive force between the water and the paper towel being stronger than the cohesive forces inside the water itself. This process can also be seen in plants where moisture travels from the roots to the rest of the plant.

volcanic eruptionWhat you’ll need Baking Soda (not baking powder) Vinegar A container to hold everything Paper towels or a cloth (just in case)Instructions 1. Place some of the baking soda into your container.

2. Pour in some of the vinegar 3. Watch as the reaction takes place!What’s happening?The baking soda (sodium bicarbonate) is a base while the vinegar (acetic acid) is an acid. When they react together they form carbonic acid which is very unstable, it instantly breaks apart into water and carbon dioxide. The fizzing is caused by the CO2 escaping the unstable solution. For extra fun you can make a realistic looking volcano and add food coloring to the vinegar. It takes some craft skills but it will make your vinegar and baking soda eruption look even more impressive!You can also try...Blowing up a balloon with CO2 emissions.Take 1 teaspoon baking soda and 40 ml of water, mix togother in an empty soda bottle. Pour some vinegar (or lemon juice) into the mixture and quickly put a pre-stretched balloon over the mouth of the bottle. If all goes well the releasing CO2 will inflate the balloon!

acid, base or neutralWhat you’ll need: Red cabbage juice Baking-soda Vinegar Two white or clear bowlsInstructions: 1. To make the red cabbage juice, boil or blend chopped up cabbage in water until the water is a nice shade of purple. 2. Pour the red cabbage juice into each of your two bowls.

3. Drip a few drops of vinegar into one bowl and sprinkle a little baking-soda into the other bowl. Watch what happens.

4. Try adding the vinegar to the baking soda/cabbage juice solution and visa versa.Food for ThoughtEverything is made of chemicals which can be sorted into various categories. Some chemicals are acids, some are bases, and some are neutral ( in between acids and bases). Red cabbage juice has an interesting property, it changes colors if it is exposed to an acid or a base (it is known as an acid/base indicator). Cabbage juice is naturally neutral. When it is neutral, it is a purplish color. If an acid is poured into it, it will turn reddish. If a base is added, it turns blue or greenish.Try other variations of mixing your vinegar and baking-soda together to achieve neutral, acidic, or basic solutions.

Cool experiments to do together

32 seesaw sum

mer.2010

sees

aw su

mm

er.2

010

33Bo

ost

your

chi

ld’s

min

d