Remembering Writtenbyme.com

8/3/2019 Remembering Writtenbyme.com

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REMEMBERING WRITTENBYME.COM

Defunct Writers Site

by David Arthur Walters

I fondly remember the good old days when WBM writers were involuntarilyorganized into metallic feudal orders, allegedly to reflect the quality of theirwriting. Whereafter divisive critics arose from the baser ranks to express thecommonplace objections. Of course the insubordinate members wanted to be

of the highest ranking - they wanted to be Gold Members, aka Golden Lords. Acertain Dumb Duck went so far as to post his criticism of WBM policy atanother thriving site, to the effect that only "abusers" at WBM had beenappointed Gold Members "because of their abuse." Yet none of the nouveauaristocrats had had the slightest say in the matter, nor were they notoriousabusers. One fractious faction, reportedly prompted by a dissident who was banned bythe WBM staff for exhibiting a photo his pecker on his profile page, abandoned

WBM altogether. They went to graze on the slime accumulating on a devioushulk captained by Bob - it had lost its mooring at Themestream.com some timebefore and had ran aground on a Florida sand bar. A few defectors becamefirmly encrusted as barnacles there because they could not take their belovedwork with them if they jumped ship - if they complained about the policy anddeleted their work, they were barred from the site and their work was restored



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from backup. Ironically, those who remained were governed by the veryepitome of the so-called "fascist" policies they had objected to at WBM - theyloved Captain Bob's site and joined in the abuse of anyone who protested. Andeven worse, now they had to pay to be highly ranked writers at the new site.

Furthermore, their Editor-in-Chief awarded his own virtual identities withprizes for excellent writing! But back to the ranch at WBM: of course the Golden Lords who were awardedthe gold by the WBM staff were loyal to the noble cause of mounting qualityof writing at WBM - none defected that I know of. And most of the Silver andBronze members remained and behaved in the honorable and loyal mannerbefitting to their relative positions. And the Commoners or Newbies graduallyworked their way up to the first rung. However, a raucous rabble preponderated

in the WBM forum - no Newbies allowed - many Newbies were formerlybanned members who rejoined with new handles. The forum chambersfrequently resembled a dungeon of vipers who believed they were dragons. Itwas dominated by four brazen hussies known as the Gang of Four even whenthey were at each other's throats too. When the forum clouds over the new orders dissipated, the dragons wereobviously crickets. Golden Lord Lap0530 compared the croaking crickets withcrotchety crabs in an open bucket who, instead of crawling out of same, preferto exercise their pincers on each other to the end that each may be equalinstead of inferior to their superiors. Notwithstanding the anti-social socialisttheories young Sir Conspiracy learned at a prestigious British university, ademocracy of equality tends to boil all differences down to dinner for the newaristocracy - if the old one is overthrown. Anarchy per se is chaos or nothing;people are equal only before they are born and after they die. There was much truth in Lord Lap0530's crab-bucket analogy. Nevertheless, as

a fan of the French Revolution who is personally related to both sides of thequestion and who does not eat crab, I protested his figurative speech. After all,he offered no solution and he seemed to be a crab himself, albeit a moresophisticated and lucid one - no doubt inherited qualities. But I, Golden LordWalters, was constructive: I recommended that the squabbling riffraff take upbowling instead of incessant crabbing.



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My proactive suggestion was based on a farmer's solution to the damage hispiglets were doing to each other in their nursery pens - biting each others tailsand ears off, and worse. He went to the bowling alley, got some brokenbowling balls, and put the balls in the pens for the pigs to play with - the

problem was solved. Well, why not give the crabbish cliques at the WBM foruma new bowling ball? Their feelings would not be hurt so often; they wouldbelieve they are getting something done together. At least they would enjoyplaying around. And of course they would be fattened up rather nicely andmaybe even discovered by the media aristocracy. The Bowling Ball I recommended to keep members preoccupied and entertainedwith was an exceptional rating system, a heuristic method whereby raters couldtrain themselves to focus on standard critical criteria instead of personal likes

and dislikes. Instead of putting each other down in comments and in the forumbecause of jealousy or for no reason at all except for the hell of it, writers wouldhave an effective device to not only raise truly worthy authors to lordly status,but would at the same time learn how to employ the best standards to theirown scribblings. I viewed this device as a better funnel or a net which would usefree labor to lift up excellent writers, buried in the lower depths under themountains of garbage erected by the Most Popular trash kings who cater tovulgar taste. Thus would all boats would be lifted, ala Ortega y Gasset. Of course the positive aspects of my suggestion were ignored by all except LordLap0530. He, a gentleman and a scholar, was very helpful and encouraging. Oh,there were numerous nasty ad hominem remarks made by others simplybecause I was a Golden Lord, but never mind the impertinences. Soon thereafter, I figured WBM was doomed as a writing site but not as acommunity. Mind you that, prior to the establishment of the metallic orders, Ihad not visited the forums nor had I given anyone less than a perfect rating -

only a fool tries to rate or criticise fairly on such sites. But I felt I had a duty as aGolden Lord to participate; hence I visited the WBM forums. Other than oneglorious thread soon deleted by the staff because it was hampering the server,the WBM forum was initially the most disappointing experience of my life. Ibecame convinced the community had no future either in the virtual or the realworld. I threw some mud back. Sullied, I visited the site less frequently until the



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decision was made to fold the site, at which point I engaged in raunchymisbehavior in the forums and had a great deal of fun in the process. Inretrospect, it is true: I was stuck up.

There is nothing left of WBM except fond memories of the golden days there,especially of the days when I was a Certified GO(l)D Member, fell from grace,and became a forum jerk. Now, as I approach real Equality, I grow fond even ofthe bad times, of the abuse I was subjected to just because I was a Golden Lord. Iam comforted by the knowledge that I was universally despised by the forumclique, and I have no hard feelings whatsoever. What the hell, nothing is perfect anyway - that is why I worship Nothing. Okay,then, Now I will return to my opus, The World is a Bowling Ball.

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