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Dear Families,We began publishing this guide 16 years ago, and wow, how the world has changed in that time.My girls have become young women, the awe and wonder in their eyes giving way to a firmdetermination to forge their own ways in this new world. Yes, costs have risen, we have to drivemore cautiously and take our shoes off in airports. Music, clothing, technology, the political andeconomic landscape all have changed, but some things have not. Those people and things nearand dear to us, our way of life and, as Tevye the milkman says, “Tradition”, tend to anchor us in asolid foundation of home, family and community. For these reasons, our milestone celebrationsare especially sweet, reminding us that although the world turns faster and faster, some thingsremain quite the same. It’s not just a catchphrase that family and friends are what is mostimportant in life.Wanda Hope Carter wrote: "Family and Friends are hidden treasures, seek themand enjoy their riches."We all want to enjoy, savor, and remember milestone events like births, bar/bat mitzvahs andweddings. Special events give us a chance to see distant relatives and friends in a happy settingand to celebrate with them. And those people are also able to meet and/or visit with oneanother. This experience also creates an example for and an impression on our children. Familyand friends are important to us and we honor those relationships by including them in ourcelebrations. And even as clothing, music and the technology of celebrations change, the essenceof the milestone events and the reason we celebrate, does not change.So, as you are planning your upcoming celebration, keep in mind the importance of the memoriesyou are creating and the heritage you are helping to continue. Mazel Tov to you and your family!

FeaturesThe Significance of the Day! . . . . . . . . . . . . . .8What is a Bar/Bat Mitzvah? . . . . . . . . . . . . . .8Reception Ideas . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .10Rabbi’s Corner . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .14Selecting A Catering Company . . . . . . . . . .21Jewish Food, a History & Tradition . . . . . . .22Bar/Bat Mitzvah Planning Timetable . . . . .23Mitzvah Project Ideas . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .23Your Son’s Bar Mitzvah Suit... . . . . . . . . . . . .25Sample Budget Form . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .26JewishWeddings Section . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .28The Chuppah . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .31TheWedding Program . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .32Popular Party Themes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .33Out of Towners Guide . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .34Place Card Ideas . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .36Our Synagogues & Organizations . . . . . . . .38Hebrew 101-Important Terms . . . . . . . . . . .40The Bar/Bat Mitzvah Booklet . . . . . . . . . . . .41Jewish Community Events . . . . . . . . . . . . . .42Stay Involved After the Bar/Bat Mitzvah . .44Frequently Asked Questions . . . . . . . . . . . . .45Mitzvah Project Resources . . . . . . . . . . . . . .45

Directory of ServicesBanquet Facilities / Hotels . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .9Beauty . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .18Cakes & Pastries . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .19Catering /Wait Staff / Bartenders . . . . . . . .20Clothing . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .24Decorations / Theme Design . . . . . . . . . . . .34Invitations / Calligraphy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .36Music / Entertainment . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .39Guest Care / Senior Care . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .44Photography / Videography . . . . . . . . . . . . .46Transportation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .49Directory of Resources . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .50wha

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Mazel Tov to you and your family! Bar/BatMitzvahs and weddings are the happiestof Jewish life-cycle events. But planningthese events often causes feelings of anx-iety that take away from that happiness.Maybe this is the first time you or yourfamily has ever organized an event orshopped for unfamiliar goods and servic-es. Perhaps you don’t fully understand allthe elements necessary to host the event.You may just need a few pointers or achecklist so you don’t forget something.

We are here to help!

Milestones Party & Event PlanningGuide™ is the area’s most completeplanning and resource guide. Use thisguide to spend less time planning yourevent and more time enjoying the experi-ence. We help you understand and enjoythe religious experience and traditions ofBar/Bat Mitzvah and Jewish Weddingsand to plan a memorable celebration!

Mona Freedman

BAR MITZVAH FRONT COVER IMAGE BY:JODY GARLAND PHOTOGRAPHY

WEDDING FRONT COVER IMAGE BY:NEIL GATES PHOTOGRAPHY

The Freedman Family

Publisher/Editor

welcome

Milestones Party & Event Planning GuideTMChicagoland Edition–2016For advertising or information aboutour Chicagoland edition please contact:

Carla Gohde,Chicago Area AssociatePublisher847-821-8648carla@milestonesmagazine.comOur StaffMona Freedman, Publisher/EditorJay Freedman, General Manager and Production ManagerTim Stump, Production Assistant/Graphic DesignerKendall Cash, Production Assistant/Graphic DesignerAngel Carbaugh, Account ExecutiveCrystal Garrett, Account ExecutiveSuzan Peele, Distribution Coordinator

Published Annually by Milestone Media Group, Inc.1341W. Liberty Rd., Sykesville, MD 217841-877-856-5490 | Fax 410-549-6467e-mail: info@milestonesmagazine.comwebsite: www.milestonesmagazine.comCopyright © 2015, Milestone Media Group, Inc. All rights reserved. Milestone MediaGroup, Inc. does not endorse any product or service listed or advertised in this publi-cation. We reserve the right to reject any advertisement or listing that we feel is not inkeeping with the publication’s standards. The publisher has made every attempt ataccuracy. We do not assume any and hereby disclaim any liability to any party for anyloss or damage caused by errors or omissions in this publication. Reproduction of anypart of B’nai Mitzvah & Jewish WeddingsTM is permitted only with written permission ofthe publisher.

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Celebration has historically been anintegral part of the important rite ofpassage of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah.In the past, and again recently, the extent of somecelebrations has raised questions about the appro-priateness and dignity of the simcha. This is espe-cially marked when there appears to be no connec-tion between the spiritual side of the event and theparty. Debate, of course, has always been anintegral part of the American experience, includingAmerican Judaism. We understand that celebrationshould be at the same time meaningful to thefamily, respectful of Jewish law and tradition, andreflective of synagogue and community values.This is sometimes a difficult task to accomplish,especially in contrast to the destruction of severallong wars in the Middle East and current violencethroughout the world. We do not propose theanswers here, except to emphasize that personalchoice is also an important American and Jewishdimension.How important a party celebration is to one familywe cannot say. But the Bar/Bat Mitzvah only passesonce on the way to becoming a teenager, and therite of passage is undeniably sacred and important.After all, the celebration is not only for the act ofreading the Torah, leading the congregation inprayer and giving a speech. There has been deter-mined studying, learning and practicing. There hasbeen intellectual and spiritual growth. There havebeen mitzvot (good deeds), tzedakah (charity) andgemilut chasadim (non-financial giving) that helpbuild self-esteem and mold character. The Bar/BatMitzvah has earned the right to be part of a min-yan, be called for alliyot, or wear the tefillin. Thatthis should be celebrated in some way is undeni-able, but the intensity and extent of that celebra-tion, while ever debatable, is probably a matter ofindividual taste and preference. Whatever yourchoice may be, Mazel Tov to you and your family!

A Word About theBar/Bat MitzvahCelebration

The Significance of the Day!

B’nai Mitzvah & JewishWeddingsTMbelieves that all families should recog-nize the religious importance of theBar/Bat Mitzvah, the rite of passage, andthe whole Jewishness of the child. This

life-cycle event will have long lasting meaning to thefamily, relatives, friends and especially the honored child.Becoming a Bar/Bat Mitzvah symbolizes the child’s reli-gious coming of age and the beginning of life as a fullyparticipating Jewish adult. He/she will now accept reli-gious responsibilities and can perform the importantduties of Jewish life.The celebration of the event is an important componentbecause it honors the child’s accomplishments and givesloved ones and others the opportunity to show greatpride and joy for the child. This publication focuses onplanning the reception or celebration, but we recom-mend that you, as parents, participate fully in the wholeMitzvah and understanding the significance and mean-ing of the day. Remember, the party would be meaning-less without the ceremony. On our website is a partiallist of resources that helps the reader learn more aboutthe Torah, Judaism, and the spiritual meaning of theBar/Bat Mitzvah. Your Synagogue, local library, book-stores, stores in this guide that carry religious items andour online bookstore at www.milestonesmagazine.commay have these as well as other resources.

Here are some other ways tobring meaning to the day:• Attend synagogue with your children regularly, even if

they sit with their friends. Discuss the service and theRabbi’s sermon afterwards.

• Encourage your child to give to tzedakah (charity), asit is a responsibility for Jewish adults. Giving from thechild’s own funds is even more meaningful, even if itis a dollar or two.

• Encourage the Bar/Bat Mitzvah to practice his/herparasha (Torah portion) and perhaps haftarah portionfrequently. Even if it is awkward, listen to their practic-ing, as your child becomes a young adult.

• Meet with the Rabbi as a family, if this is the customat your synagogue, and allow your child to speakfreely.

• Discuss the Torah portion being read, both the Hebrewand the English translation. Relate the message inthat portion to events today in the world, in your owncommunity, or in your family.

• Participate in the service, if your synagogue allowsthis, by reading prayers, lighting candles, recitingblessings, or helping with the ark and the Torah.

• Perform a mitzvah with your child and/or encouragea Mitzvah Project. There are many worthwhile ideas.

What is a Bar/Bat Mitzvah?

Translated as “Son/daughter of thecommandments”, one becomes a Bar orBat Mitzvah at age 13 (12 for girls in mostOrthodox congregations) independent of aceremony marking the occasion.

By tradition, because a Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony is acustom not a commandment, age 13 is when a childbecomes obligated to the ritual responsibilities of Jewishlife. This is referred to as the“commandment age”, the“age of majority”, or a “religious coming of age”. At thispoint in the young adult’s life, he or she is presumed tobe responsible for those religious obligationsindependent of the parents.Those obligations might include mitzvot, being part of aminyan (religious prayer quorum), fasting on Yom Kippur,

leading the congregation in prayer or wearing tefillin.Therefore, becoming a Bar/Bat Mitzvah is certainly animportant life-cycle event. In secular terms, this point ina teen’s life, often marks enormous growth and maturityreflected by several years of study and practice before thespecial day. Combined with the responsibility of Jewishadulthood, this event often brings an overwhelmingwave of emotion to parents and close relatives.This event is marked by participation in services, readingthe Torah and leading the congregation in prayer. Afterthe service, it is customary to celebrate with a specialmeal to commemorate the mitzvah. Over time, theparty, or simcha, has evolved. This is a way for familiesto celebrate a rite of passage, as well as bring extendedfamilies together to reunite for a joyous celebration.Ph

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"Having a Bar Mitzvah ismy way of telling G-d thatI'm here."

Sean Peterfreund,Amherst, Massachusettsin his Bar Mitzvah talk.

Contributed By:Rabbi Marc D. RudolphCongregation Beth ShalomNaperville, Illinois

Banquet Facilities & HotelsChicagoland Edition 9

You may want to ask the followingquestions when inquiring about facilities:1. How much do you charge for children’s meals and what is the age range?2. What is the price of limited bar versus open bar and the price for

non-alcoholic beverages?3. Do you serve buffet style or plated meals, and the prices for each?4. Do you have any upcoming renovations planned?5. Is your facility handicap accessible?What about accessibility of outdoor facilities,

such as a gazebo, garden, or patio?6. What colors are available for table linens and chair covers?

Are additional colors/styles available?7. Are additional rooms available for teens /children / entertainment, or for a bridal

room for the wedding party? Is there a private room for family or bridal portraits?8. Are packages available that include flowers, photos, decorations, invitations, etc.?9. What restrictions are there for decorations, entertainment, and outside catering

options? Are cakes/desserts allowed from outside? Is there limited electricor lighting available?

10. Is there a coat room with an attendant? Is there valet parking or convenient,onsite parking spaces?

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Reception IdeasYour choice of reception style, location, and time will depend upon personal preference, family needs,local customs, budget and availability. Do not worry too much about pleasing others - you and yourfamily must be comfortable with the arrangements. Here are just a few variants and ideas to discuss:

Kiddush Luncheonat the Synagogue:This is probably the least expensive way to offer a cele-bratory meal away from home. It can be catered, or bringin platters prepared by you or some helpers (Note: Thiswill not be allowed in facilities where kashrut isobserved). This can also be offered in addition to a moreformal evening affair or a kids-only party.

Reception at the Synagogue:Check to see if your Synagogue has adequate facilitiesand staff to accommodate your needs. Some Synagoguesalso have rules regarding kashrut, caterers, entertain-ment, photography, flowers and more. Consult with theSynagogue staff.

Non-TraditionalReception Sites:- Community Center or Conference Center- Social hall or Historic mansion- Country club (even if you don’t belong)- Boats and yachts- Museum or Zoo- Elegant restaurants- Theme restaurants

Kiddush Luncheonat a Restaurant:Can be very reasonably priced, particularly if it iscustomary to invite all congregants to a Kiddushluncheon at the synagogue.

Reception at a Hotel:This is often desirable, afternoon or evening, when manyguests from out-of-town are expected. Ask about roomrates and room blocks to reserve. Remember, too, thein-town guests who have to find the hotel and park,so make the location accessible.

Home Reception:Yes, it’s less expensive. But remember the extra work, theclean-up, the wear and tear - and you can’t walk awayfrom it after the party! Still, lovely home receptions havebeen done. Consider services such as a caterer, partyplanner (day-of help is a must!), entertainers, coat checkand clean-up help so you can be a guest at your ownparty.

Kids-Only Party:Usually held in conjunction with a Kiddush luncheon,this can be held anywhere your Bar/Bat Mitzvah and youagree upon. Arcades, zoos, pools, amusement parks,kids’museums, theme restaurants, bowling alleys, sportscenters, and skating rinks all are appropriate locations.Some have food, some you’ll need to bring. A D.J.,entertainer, or inflatable attraction can add to the funand please everyone.

Reception at a Catering Hall:These are often beautifully decorated and well-run,because that is their only business. Ask about packagesthat include other services (flowers, decorations,videography, etc.) that you may want or need.

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S ALL IN ONE Hotel Venues ...Booking your event at hotels create a "one stop shop". It offersan elegance and sophistication to your plans. A place for yourrehearsal dinner, ceremony, reception, food, drinks, pre/postevent gatherings, and hotel rooms for your out of town guests.Hotels with views, tourist attractions and other amenities haveso much to offer. This option may also save money and time andmake the weekend event more enjoyable for all.Check out the Hotel Venues in our Directory of Resourcesunder Banquet Facilities & Hotels Section

Photo By: Romy Modlin Photography

www.northshoresuites.hamptoninn.com

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S Cost Saving Venues...Consider Banquet Facilities, Country Club Rentals and otherreception venue ideas that are cost saving and can help youwith all the planning aspects of your event. Also allowing youto save on rental costs, since they already have chairs, linensand other expensive rentals! Also, consider Park DistrictRentals, your local JCC or YMCA and other buildings that mayoffer banquet space in your community.Check out Cost Saving Venues in our Directory ofResources under Banquet Facilities & Hotels Section

That’s right - no misprint. The above usage of thewords “Bar/Bat Mitzvah” is incorrect. The title appliesto the child, not the ceremony. A Bar/Bat Mitzvah is

a child who has reached the age of maturity in Jewishlaw. He/she is now permitted to take place more fully inthe life of the Jewish community - and there’s the rub!You see, Bar/Bat Mitzvah is all about community. And forthe last two thousand years, commu-nity has begun and continues to beginin the synagogue. So why should youseek out a synagogue celebration ofyour child becoming Bar/Bat Mitzvah?For…Community - celebrate with thepeople and the institutions in whichyour child is now ready to take aplace; the institutions to which he/shewill bring unique gifts over the yearsand from which he/she will drawsupport and companionship in timesof passage as well as in the daily flowof life.Context - the meaning of becomingBar/Bat Mitzvah is part of that flow. Ina fragmented world, celebrating so

significant an event as part of a holistic journey of life iswhat renders it meaningful. The synagogue and the rela-tionships upon which it is built are the framework of thatjourney.Content - Becoming a Bar/Bat Mitzvah is about morethan just a set of skills. It is about a body of knowledgewhich renders one literate and capable of participating in

the community’s life. The synagogue is the place wherethat body can be acquired and developed.Connection - Celebrating becoming a Bar/Bat Mitzvah inthe synagogue creates an opportunity for forging relation-ships between the individual, the family, and the peoplewho can be there for you throughout the life journeydescribed above. Lifelong relationships with Rabbis and

Cantors can bless all of us at the time of thecelebration and later life events at whichthose relationships can make all thedifference.Core values - The entire approach of thesynagogue and the tradition it teaches isvalues-driven. The message of a communalcelebration provides a key balance in values.In a culture which is increasingly“Me”- ori-ented, the child learns that the greatestvalue of his/her being lies in becoming acontributing member of a greater commu-nity. We celebrate your child by celebrat-ing his/her place among us.Talk to the local synagogue representa-tives today. Choose a path of meaningupon which to celebrate the sacred mean-ing of your child’s life and special day.

The Rabbi’s Corner: View from the BimahWhy You Want a Synagogue Bar/Bat Mitzvah for Your Child (with apologies for misusing the title!)By Rabbi Rex Perlmeter, on behalf of the Reform Jewish Community of Baltimore

Photo By: Jody Garland Design & Photography

Banquet Facilities & HotelsChicagoland Edition 15

Some questions and ideas for aRehearsal Dinner:A rehearsal dinner is usually a informal meal after a wed-ding rehearsal, taking place the night before the actualwedding. It's a chance for the wedding party to getacquainted and most importantly, it's a chance for thebride and groom to thank all the people who have helpedthem out with their wedding plans and to thank the out oftown guests who have traveled to attend. You don'tnecessarily need to invite the out of town guests(other than the bridal party) but it is a nice way ofshowing your appreciation to everyone that traveledto attend your event. It also helps your out of townguests share in the celebration and get to knowyour new family, while also providing anotheractivity for them, during the event weekend. It canbe a formal dinner or very casual.

Is a rehearsal dinner required andwho traditionally is responsible?A wedding rehearsal is usually required to makesure that the ceremony runs smoothly and everyoneknows their part in the ceremony and timing. Thedinner after is not required but is a nice gesture toget the families and bridal party together and tothank everyone for their participation and support.

Who pays?Traditionally the groom's parents pay but today, you'lloften see couples include the cost in their overallwedding planning budget or sometimes both sets of par-ents may host it together. If there is no money in the eventbudget, your wedding rehearsal can take place at the hoteletc. and then invite guests back to your house for some-thing homemade or plan for casual catering.

Who plans it?Traditionally, it is the Mother of the Groom that arrangesthe rehearsal dinner. It gives her a chance to plan part ofthe wedding and welcome her new daughter-in-law totheir family. There are traditional toasts and sometimes a"roast" to the bride and groom, by the couple's bridalparty, family and friends, sharing some funny stories ordetails that others may not know about the bridal couple.

The bridal couple may also share some writtenpoems or special stories about each of therehearsal dinner guests, to add a personal touchand show their gratitude.

How do I invite my guests?Typically, printed invitations are sent a few daysafter you send the wedding invitation. Thesedon't need to be elegant and expensive. You canalso use e-vites for more immediate family.Avoid using social media to invite anyone initial-ly, but reminders by email, for instance, are OK.The rehearsal dinner can be a way of breakingthe ice and taking some of the pressure off foreveryone before the wedding. It is a nice tradi-tion and a great way to extend the celebration!You will have more time to socialize and spendtime with these close friends and family.

Rehearsal Dinner FAQsBy Carla Gohde

Words of Wisdom From ParentsWho Have “Been There”• Taste the food first before signing

a contract with the caterer.• Take the time to prepare lists for the

DJ/band, photographer/videographer,and caterer (i.e. Alliyot honorees,which guests to photograph, candlelighting sayings, agenda etc.)

• Include in your contract the DJ/bandsand photographer’s arrival timefor the reception. You could have a bigproblem if these key people are late.

• Design a travel packet for your out-of-town guests with directions, rental carinformation, sights to see, etc.

• Consider not serving liquor.Children may try to sneak it,guests will be driving home,and it can be expensive.

• Be prepared for “no shows,” italways happens.

• The dance floor size is very important.People need lots of room to dance the“Horah”and other popular favorites.

• Have a family discussion about thetype of party you will have. Choosethe kind of affair that suits yourbudget and taste and not others’.

• Don’t forget to book a block of roomsfor out-of-town guests. The worstthing would be unavailability ofrooms on your weekend due to a holi-day or big conference/weddingplanned for the same time.

• You could arrange to have welcomebaskets delivered to the hotel roomsof your out-of-town guests.

• Slouch socks are nice to offer to thegirls, they like to kick off their shoesand dance comfortably.

• Be sure to check accessibility of hotelor reception choice for your disabledor elderly guests.

• Start checking the post office forstamps that could match envelopesfor color or theme.

• Order extra invitations for welcomeboard, memory books, and framing.

• Order Thank You notes at the sametime you order invitations.

• Place toiletries in restroom of thereception hall for your guests to use(Please check with the facilityowner/manager before you do this).

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With chocolate fountains and themed plat-ters as a staple at many B’nai Mitzvah par-ties, many parents find differentiation withfood selections to be difficult.Whileteenagers will forever love chicken tenders,pizza, pigs in a blanket, and hamburgers,the bigger food hits are those with brandnames and a personal connection.Local favorites such as a well-known icecream store, bakery, or even burrito jointare possibilities for using sources beyondthe caterer.When the reception is in a non-exclusivesetting and the caterer is coming to yourvenue, you have more leeway with cre-ativity. For example, your catering contractcan consist of solely appetizers andentrees, leaving room for you to provideand decide on the dessert.In either situation, considering seasonalitems is worthwhile. If you happen to havea late summer party for instance, localfresh fruit is a welcome change. Sure,caterers offer fresh-cut fruit, but nothingbeats in-season late-summer watermelonor once-a-year sweet Seckel pears (a very

sweet pear in season August-September).With a growing trend in local organic food,seasonal items could be a big hit for afruit-loving teen. The local food may nothave a brand-name, but the food can bejust as memorable.Buying from a farmer’s market is the bestway to purchase local foods and find dis-counts. Local purchases eliminate the costsof shipping, packaging and marketing.If the party is small, you have even moreroom to personalize the food. For close-knit families, consider the B’nai Mitzvah’sfavorite family dish. Using family recipesoften makes the food more memorable.Despite numerous options, remember tounderstand your limitations. For larger par-ties, keep it simple and let the caterer dotheir job. Do not go overboard with thetasks you assign to yourself. In all cases, letthe teenager have a say in the food selec-tion.While there may be a differencebetween food for adults and friends, ensurethat the food selection is personal to theB’nai Mitzvah. Selecting a special food itemwill give more meaning to the party.

Food for the Teens:Personalizing Their ExperienceBy Matt Tucker

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Hair Care Tips to Remember forYour Special Day• All hair care products don’t always

work well on all hair types (dry, oily,permed, colored, normal). Chancesare what works for your best friendmay not work for you. Products real-ly do help style hair, hold a setlonger, give lift and protect your hair.It is important to read labels!

• Try several brands to determine theproduct that makes your hair shineand feel great!

• Did you know that bangs are in styleagain? To ensure picture-perfectbangs, try these suggestions:

• For large features, have bangs cutwider. For delicate features, narrowor wide bangs will work. To style,mist bangs with a volumizing hair-spray and blow smooth with a pad-dle brush.

• A few weeks before the big day, youshould try styling your hair severaldifferent ways to determine whatmakes you look the most beautiful.

This will also give you practice insetting your hair to the desired styleso you will be less stressed for thebig event!

CURRENT TRENDSMakeup...The best way to define your eyes without adding more eye shadow colorsis to wear false eyelashes. By wearing false lashes, your eyes will becomemore defined and enhance your natural eye color, making your eyes pop.Be sure to try on the false lashes before your big day, so that you will feelmore comfortable wearing the lashes all day and night.

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tyTip! Pro Makeup Tips for the Special Day

• Conceal blemishes or imperfections with cover up. Make sure you blend itin well.

• For a fresh look, try a little tinted moisturizer, shimmery moisturizer, or avery sheer coverage makeup if your complexion needs it.

• If you prefer a more matte finish, apply a very light dusting of loose facepowder to clean skin with a large fluffy brush.

• For eyes, avoid too much mascara! Try instead applying only to the upperlashes, or try a lighter color than black, such as brown or brown black.

• Neutral colors are always best for photos and avoid lip gloss or shadowsthat are sparkly or frosty.

• Pick earrings that will go with your look, but not distract from it. Stayaway from big, clunky earrings.

• Pick colors that are best suited to you.

Looking Good in front of the CameraMake the most of your lips with lip liner that frames your lips and holdscolor in. Choose a natural color - nothing too dark. Brush your lipstick on.Add a small amount of gloss, applied to the center of your bottom lip, for aspecial glow. Avoid pale colors to give contrast with your dress. Keep a bal-ance between your lips and your eyes.

Tanning booth visits? Be careful–too much tanning looks artificial and harshin photos.

Have your wedding makeup professionally applied. The difference in front ofthe camera is startling. Marriage

License RequirementsChicago, IL• Both the bride and groom must appear in person at the time of applying.Nonresidents cannot obtain a marriage license if said marriage would be void intheir state. Must provide one of the following (all must be Valid): U.S. Driver'sLicense, U.S. state identification card, U.S. passport, U.S. military identification card,or Illinois Department of Public Aid card (the I.D. and the medical card). If divorced,they must provide final divorce papers signed by the judge. (If you do not have oneof the above, you will need 2 other forms of Identification, call your local marriagelicense office for more information.

•Waiting period is 1 day. License is valid for 60 days from the date it was issued. Alicense issued in Cook County CANNOT be used in any other county or state.

• Fees: Cash Only! Varies depending on County. $15 - $30. No Blood test is required.• Please Note: State and county marriage license requirements often change. Theabove information is for guidance only and should not be regarded as legal advice.

Cakes & Pastries

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Chicagoland Edition 19

Cotton Candy...Gourmet flavored Cotton Candy is the latest trend for parties...give your guests a fun, yummy and delicious catered cotton candydessert station. Equally popular at Bar/Bat Mitzvahs and wed-dings, Cotton Candy is free of fat, gluten, dairy and nuts.

Cookie Sundae Bars...At Innovative Indulgences (see ad above), we have created a newcookie concept called the“cookie pie.” It’s bigger and tastier thanyour standard cookie, combining some of the most deliciousingredients into one unique and incredible dessert! Perfect forBirthdays, Bar/Bat Mitzvahs,Weddings, and Corporate Events!Candy Bars...Ask your caterer about candy bars, the latest dessert trend forBar/Bat Mitzvah celebrations. Not to be confused with achocolate bar at the checkout counter, or even the PersonalizedBars given out as favors, this is an entire table display ofdelicious candies, artfully arranged and ready to be enjoyed! Thesemake beautiful set pieces because they are colorful, enticing andfun, a focal point for other desserts, and a great way to pleasenearly everyone.

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Chocolate FountainsWhat a way to treat your guests like royalty- and give themwhat they really want, mouth-watering flowing chocolate. Yourguests are able to dip a variety of items that you choose likestrawberries, brownies, marshmallows, Rice Krispies Treats,pretzels and more. You can make it an appetizer fountain or adessert temptation. A small, elegant addition to your event thatleaves a big, tasteful impression on your guests!

Visit us online at www.milestonemagazine.com

catering

Catering20

When Choosing a Caterer...If you would like to hold your reception at the Synagogue or a hall, you will likely hire aprofessional catering company. Catering at your site offers maximum flexibility(casual, elegant, plated, stations, etc.) but ask about silverware, plates, serving dishes,linens, set-up and clean-up.Thesemay come as separately charged items, or youmayneed to order them yourself.Ask about specialty diets such as Kosher, vegetarian, diabetic, etc. Is there a separatechildren's’menu?What about leftovers? How does the staff dress? Is gratuity included?When is the final count and final payment due? Look for both great food andpresentation–visually appealing dishes are an elegant part of the decor. Get a writtencontract that lists all the details, includingmenu, services provided, equipment to beused, financial information, dates, times and personnel to be included. It should havea guarantee and cancellation policy.Check our web site for more tips on Catering and Kosher Food:www.milestonesmagazine.com.

of Chicago

Contacts:Rabbi Gedalia D. SchwartzAv Bet Din - Chief RabbiRabbi R. Sholem FishbaneKashruth Administrator

The Chicago RabbinicalCouncil2701 W. Howard St.Chicago, IL 60645(773) 465-3900info@crcweb.orgwww.crcweb.org

CateringChicagoland Edition 21

Tipping the caterer may be the lastthought at the end of a party, butconsider the time and effort of the

workers. If the caterer goes above andbeyond the normalduties of their job,giving a tip is arespectable act.Remember, theworkers are presentat the party waybefore the client, andthe workers oftenstay later.

Catering companiestend to shy awayfrom questions ontipping. ClassicCatering, a cateringcompany based outof Baltimore, saystipping is entirely up to the client. Anadministrator at the company suggeststhat around 30-40% of their clients tip,and just like restaurants, 15-20% is the

standard rate. Similar to restaurants,clients have the ability to tip more, less, ornone.Other catering companies have a service

fee built into thecontract, so thebest thing to do isask the salesper-son before makinga decision. Somecatering compa-nies ask the clientto add the tip ontop of the bill,while othersrequire the tip toremain entirelyseparate. Tippingcaterers is lesscommon than inrestaurants, but is

generally accepted. Evaluate the situationand decide accordingly, but more impor-tantly, know the company’s policy on tip-ping before the event.

Do I tip the caterer,and how much?"By Matt Tucker

When choosing a catering company for your Mitzvah orWedding, it’s important toremember that the catering staff becomes your home team on the day of your event.It’s a given that your caterer will provide the food and beverage service at your event, butoften times your caterer is involved with many additional aspects of your event, both inthe planning stages and behind the scenes on the“day of”your event. It’s the cateringstaff setting up the rental equipment and linens, and working diligently with the enter-tainers, designers and planners in making your vision a reality. The catering company isusually the first one on site and the last to leave.Be sure to choose a licensed and insured catering company, and one that you feelcomfortable with. The caterer should always be willing and able to provide references, andshould also have an informative and substantive website which lends credibility to theircompany. Once you have done your due diligence in checking references or narrowingyour selection, you might want to consider choosing the caterer who will confidently offera customized menu that meets your criteria, but also allows for the freshness and season-ality of ingredients. Ask your caterer to offer options within their proposals to allow for anybudget concerns. Often menus for weddings and mitzvahs are determined many monthsor more in advance, in order to facilitate a contract. However, your caterer should bewilling to revisit your menu within 60 days of your event and offer either new or seasonalitems based upon new food trends and interesting items that may have been recentlyadded to their menu. Many times these accommodations are not more expensive, justmore fun and interesting.Remember that there are many great caterers all over the country. Look for resourcesonline, ask your friends or the venue where you are hosting your event who theyrecommend, find out who catered an event at which you were a guest and loved thefood, it doesn’t matter how you create your initial list. What does matter is selecting thecatering company that will bring creativity, talent and professionalism to the table andpeace of mind for you.

Selecting a Catering Company:It’s about much more than the menuBy Jody Birnbaum, Caterconsult, Inc.Business Consultant to the Hospitality Industry - www.caterconsulting.com

Read the entire article online at: milestonesmagazine.com.

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Hot Dogs...Give your guests what they crave. For casual Bar/Bat Mitzvahcatering options or kids meals, for those picky kids who won’teat what's on the menu. Also makes a great late night weddingsnack, delivered from a hot dog cart, Rehearsal Dinners,Bachelor/ Bachelorette parties and all pre-post gatherings inbetween! There are so many types of hot dogs to try from theChicago-style hot dog to the Carolina style hot dog to the NewYork hot dog and so many more for those hot dog lovers.

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Photo Booths & Photo Favors...Photo Favors, Photo Booths, Interactive Photo Entertainment and HighEnd Fusion Photo Experiences are great for people who love to "CaptureThe Moment" and choose different backgrounds and give-aways. Poststo facebook and shows what a great time your event was. A lastingmemory... for all. Cameras at each table- a great way to engage yourguests and have pictures to share. New for 2016: photo images fromphoto shoots can now be printed directly onto magnets at your eventfor guests to take home as favors!.Check out Photo Specialty Vendors in our Directory.

Visit us online at www.milestonemagazine.comCatering22

There has always been a history and a tradition when it comes to Jewish food. Food on theJewish table has long been associated with the strong history of it's people. Since thebeginning of the first exile, Jews have taken the flavors of the land in which they lived andhave made it a part of their lives. Whenever the Jewish people were forced out of a coun-try and forced to start over in a new land, they always integrated foods that they foundthere and along with Jewish laws and traditions, added them to their long history.Holidays are true symbols of these traditions and rituals: from the matzos of Pesach, to themany fried dishes of Chanukkah, and the sweet and delectable foods associated with RoshHashanah.The laws of Kashrut have also applied to these new foods. Kashrut is the set of ritual dietarylaws that are set out in Jewish religious laws. Food that conforms to these standards isdescribed as kosher. Kosher, meaning "fit" or "proper" describes the foods that the OldTestament declares appropriate to consume. Although Kosher laws may seem difficult tounderstand at first, they actually follow an understandable logic. Kosher foods are dividedinto three classifications: meat, dairy, and pareve. Meat must never be eaten with dairy, butpareve foods can be eaten with either meat or dairy. As said, "Thou shall not seethe a kid inhis mother's milk." The ways that foods are classified and prepared are very often indicatedon the packaging that they come in. For instance, the labeling on a package can immedi-ately show not only the kosher contents of the package, but also the methods and equip-ment on how that item was produced.Though the basic principles of Kashrut are outlined in the Bible, they have been ruled uponand commented upon by rabbis in many books, such as the Shulhan Aruch, the code ofJewish law. There is no reason given for the laws of Kashrut, though many have suggestedthat hygiene, food safety and health might be contributory factors. The rabbis state, how-ever, that no reason or rationale is needed; obeying the laws of Kashrut is a commandmentfrom God. To start out, one must keep a truly Kosher kitchen. This requires that a personmust have at least three sets of dishes, pots, and utensils. Milk and meat products cannever be prepared in the same pot or served in the same plate. (Kosher cooks even use dif-ferent soap for washing each set.) Kosher households must also have an additional set ofdishes and utensils that are used only for Passover (Pesach) (for meat and dairy).

Some more basic understanding of the classifications include:Meat kitchen : Only certain meats are allowed, based on the text Leviticus ,whichstates: "Whatsoever parted the hoof, and is clovenfooted, and cheweth the cud...that shallye eat.”No birds or animals of prey are allowed, nor are scavengers, creeping insects orreptiles. For a Kosher animal to become Kosher meat, it must be slaughtered ritually andhumanely by Shechita. Animals that die from natural causes or are killed by another ani-mal is forbidden. Certain types of injury also render the animal unkosher. Kashering themeat, a term used to describe the removal of blood from an animal immediately afterslaughter, is used, because blood is forbidden to be consumed by the laws of Kashrut. Allmeat must be soaked in salt water, grilled, or broiled, so that no blood remains. This isusually done by the butcher. Even a spot of blood in an egg renders it unkosher.Dairy: Foods in this group are milk and milk by-products such as cheese, cream,yogurt, and ice cream. Yogurt is one example of a kosher dairy product that should beeaten only with the symbol of Kashrut because to produce, sometimes gelatin is usedand gelatin is made from the bones of animals (and the concern is that bones may beused from a non-kosher animal). Kosher yogurt is made from gelatin that is vegetablebased seaweed, or carrageen, as it is commonly known. Even after eating a meat meal, acertain amount of time must elapse before dairy food can be consumed. Some communi-ties wait six hours, while others wait only two.While eating dairy, meat is appropriatelyconsumed within fifteen minutes to a two hours after.Pareve: A term meaning neutral foods that are neither meat nor dairy .They do nothave the same restrictions imposed upon them and can be eaten with either meat ordairy foods. All fresh fruits and vegetables and grains, nuts, as well as eggs are pareve.These can be served with either dairy or meat. Fish falls under the pareve category too,however, only fish with fins and detachable scales are Kosher. Shellfish, as well as eel,monkfish, catfish, and frogfish, are not considered Kosher. Despite the fact that fish haveblood, no special kashering process is needed. Just keep in mind that even though fish arepareve, it cannot be cooked with meat. Some communities do not cook in milk as well.One should take a fifteen minute break after eating fish before consuming meat.

Jewish Food, a History and TraditionBy Avi Mor, Garden Fresh Market

• Alliyot is the plural of alliyah. One person is assigned one alliyah. The family of theBar/Bat Mitzvah (or the groom, at an Ufruf) may get to assign several alliyot. It meansto come to the Torah and recite the blessings before and after a section of the Torah isread (b’rachot). An honor is a non-speaking part. The chosen person performs thehonor, for example, they may open or close the Ark or dress the Torah.

• Ask the Rabbi or Cantor how many alliyot you will be allowed. Consult with yourrabbi or cantor regarding participation of non-Jewish friends and relatives.

• Ask about any restrictions or limitations before you approach anyone to perform anhonor or alliyah.

• Attend other Bar/Bat Mitzvah services at your synagogue to see how others do it.• Always ask relatives and friends if they would like to participate, but let them know it’s

okay to say no. Those who say yes will be truly honored, and the others will avoid whatthey may feel is uncomfortable.

• Check with the Rabbi for written instructions, Hebrew and English transliteration, andeven English prayers.

Honors and Alliyot

Photo by: Jody Garland Photography

Chicagoland Edition

Many Synagogues encourage or require students toparticipate in or initiate a mitzvah project in order tocontribute to the community and to help the lessfortunate, as part of becoming a Jewish adult. Thefollowing are some ideas for possible projects; check withyour school administrator or rabbi before you begin.• Visit and assist at a local homeless shelter.• Serve meals at a senior center.• Collect coats and hats for the needy and donate to

a shelter.• Collect food for a local food pantry, or conduct a

drive for your Synagogue’s food pantry collection.You could coordinate this with Passover, as familiesclean the non-Kosher food out of their pantries.

• Assist at a local animal shelter, or conduct a driveto place homeless pets.

• Help organize a rides program for elderly and dis-abled members of yourSynagogue to ensure that they can participatein services.

• Become trained as a respite care provider tobabysit children with disabilities. Donate some ofyour time to give relief to parents of these children,who rarely get a break.

• Organize a clean-up of a local park or volunteerto help with a stream reclamation project. Callyour County Department of Natural Resources orParks and Recreation Department.

• Offer to help build and decorate Sukkot for peoplewho are unable, or offer to help with the Sukkot atthe JCC or a Jewish nursing home.

• Collect books and magazines for hospitals andnursing homes, or for people in need.

2 Years Before the Event• Obtain date from Temple/Synagogue.• Set your budget.• Decide on the type of event you want

(day, evening, formal etc.).• Estimate number of guests

and book reception hall or caterer.• Book the photographer/videographer.

1 1/2 Years Before the Event• Book the DJ/band.• Decide on your party theme and color scheme.

6-12 Months Before the Event• Your child will start formal lessons/training• Talk to florists about prices and floral designs.• Decide on centerpieces/balloon designs.• Start looking at invitation designs and prices.

6-8 Months Before the Event• Book a hotel block for out-of-town guests.• Start clothes shopping.• Send out “Save the Date” reminders

3-6 Months Before the Event• Order or design your sign-in board and guest book.• Order favors.• Order yarmulkes.• Order your invitations.

3 Months Before the Event• Finalize guest list.• Make a hotel packet for out-of-towners.• Try to make your final selections on

clothing and accessories.• Buy stamps.• Have completely assembled invitations

weighed to ensure correct postage.• Find a calligrapher.

6-8 Weeks Before the Event• Mail the invitations.• Make up a song list for the DJ/band.• Make appointments with florists/balloonist

and place your order.• Arrange guest care services for young children and sen-iors who require extra attention at your event.

1 Month before the Event• Make hair stylist and manicure appointments.• Have final fittings done for clothing.• Arrange catering for brunch.

2-3 Weeks before the Event• Choose people for Alliyot and honors.• Choose the people to be honored for the

candle lighting ceremony and write poems.• Meet with the DJ/band and make sure they know

the candle lighting songs.• Do guest seating arrangements and

send to the reception hall.• Order the food for Kiddush or Oneg Shabbat.• Make sure the arrangements are complete with

centerpieces, balloons, sign-in board, etc.• Write prayers or speeches.• Send final instructions to photographer/videographer.• Pay all Synagogue fees.

1 Week before the Event• Take formal pictures and pictures on Bimah.• Meet with the caterer to finalize guest count.• Make arrangements to get your guests

from the airport to the hotel.• Confirm your brunch arrangements.

Getting married?

See page 28...

Bar/Bat Mitzvah TimetableStart Planning Early!

Regardless of the size ofyour celebration, you mustget properly organized.Build yourself a Bar/BatMitzvah or Weddingorganizer using a large(two inch or larger) three-ringbinder and use it as follows:• Place this magazine in the front pocket

for easy reference.• Insert section dividers for major areas such as

Reception, Invitations, Hotels, Transportation,Guest List, Decorations, Photography andVideography, Entertainment, etc. Keep all yourworksheets, brochures, call records, quotations,bills and receipts together for easy reference.

• Use a master budget form (copy the one onpage 26) to track over all expenses.

• Use punched envelopes to hold receipts.• Ask the facility for a floor or table layout,

keep handy for reference• On the front of each section, list everything you

want or need. Check them off when they havebeen finalized.

• Make a section for the synagogue that has yourlist of honors and alliyot, communication fromthe synagogue, copies of prayers to recite, gifts ordonations to the synagogue, etc.

• Leave a section for candle lighting poems orthoughts, notes for speeches, favorite music,sketches or examples of decorations, ideas for asign-in-book, and other personal notes.

• Collect invitations you receive to help withwording.

• Anything else that makes your life easier.

Believe it or not, these pagesmake a great memento orscrapbook of the occasion.

Let’s GetOrganized!

Mitzvah Project IdeasSee Page 41, for more Mitzvah Project Resources

Chicagoland Edition 23

Visit us online at www.milestonesmagazine.comClothing24

Mens’ & Boys’For mens’ and boys’ suits, start shopping twelve weeksfrom the event, leaving several weeks for alterations,which are usually necessary. Choose your clothing withcomfort in mind. Select a style and fabric that may beworn on different occasions. Color changes are madewith shirt and tie combos. Tuxedo rental should also bemade 3 months in advance, especially if an entire partyneeds the same style/color. Differences in shirts/ties/cummerbunds can distinguish party members.

Women’s & Girls’Start shopping at least six months before the event incase you need to order something or alter your selec-tion. Also, choose your clothing with comfort in mind.Let your Bat Mitzvah girl choose her own outfit,keeping appropriateness in mind andSynagogue policy. You may need to set aprice limit, but she should feel com-fortable, beautiful and special thatday. Don’t forget to bring an extrapair of hosiery for you and yourchildren that day.

Finding the Right Bat Mitzvah Dress

Young ladies often require three outfits- one forFriday night services, one for their actual BatMitzvah, and a third for their party. This is their day

to shine. Outfits for the Bat Mitzvah Girl should be special tothem - something that they adore and feel beautiful in; how-ever, this doesn't mean that you have to "pay a fortune."Many unique outfits are available "off the rack" at local bou-tiques. Don't be shy about telling a store if you have a budg-et. Stores that specialize in Bat Mitzvah fashions can helpguide your selections in all of the above areas. Avoid largedepartment stores if possible- other girls may be wearing thesame "special dress" as your child! Also, beware of onlinesites that you are not familiar with. Their "too good to betrue" pricing often hides that outfits may be "knock-offs" ordamaged goods. In addition, outfits usually look very dif-ferent on your child then they do online, and are usually finalsale. Check a store's reputation and return policy beforemaking a purchase.Try not to purchase or alter her outfits more than 3 monthsprior to the event, since sizes can change rapidly for girls thisage. If you do buy sooner, make certain to buy a full size larg-er than needed and wait until closer to your event date tohave outfits altered.Comfort and Synagogue policies are essential in your choiceof clothing. Most Synagogues require that shoulders be cov-ered and that skirts/dresses are an "appropriate length"-

this length varies based on the Synagogue, so docheck. Avoid scarves and pashmina-style wraps tocover her shoulders if she will be wearing a Tallit -bolero style jackets or light sweaters are muchmore comfortable. Also, this is not the time foryour daughter to wear "high heels." Make surethat her shoes truly fit well, and that she can com-fortably walk in them. "Ballerina flats" or lowheels with ankle supports can be fashionable andvery comfortable.For the reception, parents often buy inexpensivesocks for every girl attending their party, especiallyif there will be a lot of dancing and games. It hasbecome a custom for girls to "kick off their shoes"and put on the socks almost as soon as they arriveat the reception! You can also help your guests byusing traditional or very descriptive terms todescribe how you would like them to dress.Contemporary and novel descriptions like "countryclub casual," "business casual," or "party clothes"can be frustrating and confusing.Finally and most importantly, this is a very specialand meaningful day for your daughter and foryour entire family. Treasure the day! "Don'tsweat the small details." MAZEL TOV!

By Karen Mazer, Synchronicity Boutique, Pikesville, MD

Photo by: Jody Garland Design & Photography

clothing

ClothingChicagoland Edition 25

Your Son’s Bar Mitzvah Suit Can Help HimShowcase his Personal StyleBy Bonnie Brickman, Guys & Co. Deerfield, IL • 847-940-GUYS (4897) • www.guysandco.com (See ad, above)

According to Jewish law, a Bar Mitzvah marks the occasion when a Jewish boy comes ofage. It’s a wonderful celebration, of course – and for virtually every young man nowa-days, it’s also the first time he’s taken to a clothing store to buy a suit.Unlike girls, most boys seem not to care about the clothes they wear, especially for suchspecial, once-in-a-lifetime dress-up events. By shopping together, you can help makeyour son’s Bar Mitzvah and all the special activities leading up to it a wonderful memoryhe will cherish forever.It’s important for your son to be a part of the process. As his parent, you have an idea ofstyle and fabrics that are most appropriate, but engage your son in the process of select-ing his tie and tallit. This is where he can showcase his personal style.Start shopping for his suit six to eight weeks before his Bar Mitzvah. This gives you ampleto time to make a selection, to get the suit altered so it fits properly – and to allow for agrowth spurt. Boys sometimes seem to grow an inch or two almost overnight! For thatreason, you don’t want to alter his new suit until at least two weeks before his BarMitzvah.You want the suit to be a little oversized, but not sloppy. The fit of the coat is most impor-tant; the bottom of the jacket should extend about an inch or so below his palm when hisarms are at his side and his fingers extended toward the floor. The coat should buttoncomfortably, with little overlap from side to side. But it should not be snug that a “V”forms across his mid-section when the coat is buttoned. It’s possible to alter the coat, ofcourse, but do as little as possible – it’s more complicated, takes more time and usuallycannot be altered again when he grows.When you son tries on the suit coat, have himwear a dress shirt. Trying on a jacket with a t-shirt will change the fit. And when it’s timeto make alternations in the suit you’ve selected, he should wear a dress shirt again.The suit pants, in contrast, can be altered relatively easily. Boys usually wear casual pants

lower than their dress pants, which should be worn at the waist. You will want him towear the shoes he will wear at his Bar Mitzvah so the tailor can make the pants “break”just over the shoe tops. And if you’re getting new shoes, make sure your son breaks themin so he is comfortable on the day of his Bar Mitzvah.Alter the length of the pants, making sure the tailor leaves as much material as possible.This extends the life of the suit, because your son will get taller ashe grows. You can alter the waist, too – but not more thanan inch or two. Don’t let the back pockets get pulledtogether when the waist is taken in; this will “pull” thefront pockets toward the back of the pants andchange the alignment of the crease.When you return to the store to pick up hisaltered suit, it’s best to try on the suit while he’sthere – and while he’s wearing his dress shirtand dress shoes. It’s best to give the tailor theopportunity to make minor alterations or cor-rections when your son is there.Your son’s sense of personal style can beexpressed in many ways…so let him choosehis tie or you select three or four you like. Givehim the final choice.You and your son never will forget his BarMitzvah, and helping him make sure he’s comfort-able and looks his best will enhance the day -- andyour memories.

Photo by: Jody Garland Design & Photography

TheWeddingDressJewish tradition calls for bridal gowns tobe pure white, symbolizing the purity ofthe bride and the beginning of the maritalrelationship. (the groom often wears awhite kittel during the ceremony, as well).A strapless bra is handy when trying ongowns. Lift your arms when trying ongowns to see if you can easily movearound and dance in it. You can sewbeads onto an antique or ordinary dressto make it new and unique. Shop forcomfortable shoes, and break them inbefore the wedding day. Choose onlythose accessories that compliment yourdress, not distract from it.

PartyPointer!

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S Mitzvah Registries...Look for Bar/Bat Mitzvah Registries to pop up for 2016.Like wedding registries they will operate the same andchildren will have the opportunity to "list" their gift wisheswith many different vendors/retailers.

Check out these sites for Mitzvah Registries:www.moderntribe.com • www.bmregistry.commitzvahs.myevent.com • www.amazon.com/wishlist

It’s a Matter ofDollars and SenseNeed to stay within budget? Here are sometips to help stretch your dollars:

Sample Budget FormNote: Include tax and tips in all expenses

Bar/Bat Mitzvah Cost Cutting Tips1. Use more traditional style invitations, which tend to be more economical.

Ask your invitation professional to suggest more cost-cutting tips that areappropriate for your situation.

2. Explore the possibility of using package plans for the entertainment,photography, and other services.

3. You can decorate and personalize the welcome board and guest bookby using glitter pens and markers.

4. Generally, Saturday is the most expensive day to hold the Simcha. Consider yourchild becoming a Bar/Bat Mitzvah on another day when the Torah is read.

5. Favors can be bought at gift or toy stores. Personalize them with labels createdon your computer or they can be personalized/monogrammed where purchased.

6. Consider an afternoon Kiddush luncheon which may be less expensivethan an evening reception.

7. Chicken dishes are usually less costly than beef dishes.8. Balloons are usually less costly than flowers.

Wedding Cost Cutting Tips1. Use more traditional style invitations, which tend to be more economical.

Ask your invitation professional to suggest more cost-cutting tips that areappropriate for your situation.

2. Avoid serving liquor at the reception, or only serve for limited times. Alternatively, fea-ture beer, wine, and a champagne fountain. These all cost less than a full open bar.

3. Shop around for the best deal on flowers. Some florists mark up arrangementsthat are designated for weddings, a so-called“wedding mark-up”.Avoid exotic flowers, opting instead for seasonal and regional (local) flowers.

4. Looking for bridal gown bargains? Borrow from a friend or relative, buy one at aconsignment shop, purchase a sample gown, or look at shops further from themetropolitan area.

5. Avoid wedding dates near holidays when florists, hotels, limousines,and other services charge a premium.

6. Avoid oversized invitations and lots of inserts that require extra postage,and make the response card a post card, which costs less to send.

7. DJ’s are often less expensive than live music. If you are planning several typesof live music, look for a Klezmer band that also plays pop. oldies, swing, etc.You get two bands for the price of one!

8. Consider a Sunday afternoon luncheon that may be less expensive than an eveningreception.

9. Chicken dishes are usually less costly than beef dishes. Do not assume thata buffet is cheaper than a served meal–ask for prices on both.

10. Order a small tier cake for photographs and sheet cakes, which cost less,to feed guests dessert.

All-Around Best Advice1. Shop well in advance for most service to get the best price. Book as early as you

can, since most professionals are forced to raise prices from time to time, you willlock in a lower price, and some professionals will even offer discounts to book wellin advance.

2. Especially when money is tight, stay with professionals who KNOW andWANTyour Jewish event business, such as the advertisers in this guide. These are folkswho know all about these events and won’t let you down, and who will cover allthe bases. Pros who otherwise handle only a few Jewish events, or who are doingyou a“favor”may very well forget to include an important, or expensive, extra thata Jewish event specialist may be throwing in for free, or be able to arrange at anominal cost. And then there is the stress factor resulting from coordinatingservices that are unfamiliar with your type of event. Don’t be“penny wise andpound foolish”.

SERVICEOR VENDOR

ESTIMATEDCOST

ACTUALCOST

DEPOSITDUE

BALANCEDUE

Banquet Hall

Caterer & Bar

DJ/Band

Photography

Videography

Decorations

Invitations /Postage

Entertainment

Florist

Event Planner

Favors & Gifts

Judaica

Clothing

Cake

Fri. NightOneg Shabbat

Sat. KiddushLuncheon

PersonalExpenses

Rental Items

Transportation

Morning AfterBrunch

Synagogue Fees/Officiant Fees

TOTAL

26 Visit us online at www.milestonesmagazine.com

www.jewishbaseballplayer.com

28 Visit us online at www.milestonesmagazine.com

At Least 1 Year• Arrange for all parents to meet• Work out budget & review with your

parents, if they'll be paying for anypart of the event

• Interview & hire a wedding consultantif you are using one

• Decide on style of wedding• Decide who will officiate. Favorite

Rabbis may book up as quickly ascaterers and banquet halls. You willneed to consult this person regardingmany issues throughout your plan-ning.When necessary, book the syna-gogue sanctuary or chapel

• Make preliminary guest list & estimatefinal party size

• Choose your wedding party& call them

• Set wedding date & time• Pick a caterer, a ceremony & reception

location (if there will be one, for theengagement party, rehearsal dinner,after-wedding breakfast). Send adeposit when necessary

• Book a block of rooms forout-of-town guests

• Interview & choose photographers,videographers, florists, musicians,calligraphers

• Make transportation reservations• Make plans & shop for your

honeymoon• Shop for wedding gown.• Send a "Save-the-Date" card to

your "A" list guests10 Months• Choose a color theme• Order wedding gown & accessories

(have plenty of time if somethingshould go wrong)

• Make up your final guest list• Go House or Apartment-hunting with

your fiancee. Narrow choices to a few9 Months• Decide what gifts you would like &

register for gifts (china, flatware, etc.)• Shop for & order invitations,

announcements, programs& any other printed materials

• Have your engagement party.Start a "thank you list" & mailnotes as soon as possible

• Have an engagement picture taken& submit to newspaper

• Create schematics for the processional,recessional, under the chuppah,reserved seating. Distribute them toparticipants

• If you are not having a weddingconsultant, arrange for someone to bein charge of keeping everyone onschedule & coaching the processional

• Select guests for honors (e.g., toast,speech, blessing on bread & wine, oneof the seven blessings, alliyah at theUfruf.)

8 Months• Discuss wedding attire with mothers

of the bride & groom• Order your accessory items &

bridesmaid dresses• Look at tuxedos7 Months• Decide on which ketubah text you

want & order a ketubah. Handdecorated ketubot take the longesttime to prepare.

• If you are buying a home, get seriousabout a contract. If you will berenting, place a deposit

6 Months• Select guests wedding favors• Order imprinted yarmulkes.• Order wedding invitations, programs,

& other stationery5 Months• Arrange for tuxedo rentals• Book your honeymoon• Included directions, as needed, in

Save-the-date &/or invitations. Take atrial drive to double check distances &landmarks

4 Months• Purchase wedding gifts

(for attendants & fiance)• Finalize floral arrangements.• Set hair, make-up, nail, & wax

appointments• Select a bakery for your wedding cake,

as well as cakes for pre-weddingreceptions & pastries forafter-wedding brunch

• Begin to address invitations or takefinal guest list to your calligrapher

• Select wedding bands. Place an order• Get change of address cards from post

office & get them ready to mail• Decide who will ride with whom &

where people need to be when• Prepare programs &/or a wedding

booklet for the wedding & assign oneto distribute them

• Have the groom select & ordertuxedos for himself, his groomsmen &the dads. If people are in differentlocations, mail the measurements

• Order table cameras. Make or buy areceptacle for them. Assign someonethe task of collecting the cameras

3 Months• Final dress fittings for you & your

bridesmaids• Finalize cake arrangements• Write your own vows• Buy cake knife, toasting glasses, guest

book & garter• Pick out associated events clothing.

Remember shoes (ballet slippers, san-dals) for the reception

• Find a hairdresser & make a test runwith your veil

• Send invitations (double checkpostage)(8-10Weeks)

2 Months• Get name-change forms for social

security, driver's license, credit cards &bank. Review documents & makeneeded changes (e.g. insurance, lease,Health Care Proxy, LivingWill, etc.)

• Get blood tests & marriage license• Make hair & nails appointments very

close to the wedding day• Finalize menu with caterer• Review your needs with your photog-

rapher & videographer. List your wed-ding party, a schedule of events, anytoasts or speeches planned, & anyspecial photos, memories or candidsyou want. It is best not to surprisethese professionals

• Meet with your entertainment (music,etc.). A schedule of events, favoritetunes, style of music requested, plus alist of toasts, speeches, etc. will ensurethat the MC & you coordinate

• Arrange the rehearsal dinner, as well asother wedding-day-connected parties

• Arrange guest care services for youngchildren and seniors who require extraattention at your event.

1 Month• Make guest baskets & assign

someone to distribute them• Make sure all your groomsmen,

ushers, ringbearer, & fathers haveordered tuxedos

• Send change-of-address formsto post office

• Reconfirm all reservations& accommodations

• Confirm honeymoon plans• Start the seating plan for the reception3 Weeks Before• Call guests who have not responded

• Finalize reception seatingarrangements

• Get your marriage license• Prepare wedding announcement

for the newspaper• Pick up your wedding bands• Fill out the table cards or give names

to your calligrapher.• Put fees & tips in envelopes (officiant,

soloist, maitre d' etc.) & give it tosomeone you assign in making thepayments

• Arrange with someone to bring itemsto the wedding venue, such as cakeknife, toasting glasses, programs,yarmulkes, emergency kit for thebride, wedding license, ketubah, etc. &to take them home

• Arrange for someone to return rentals(tuxedos, chairs, etc.)

• Arrange for someone to take yourbouquet & gown "home" put them inpreservation

• Pay all synagogue fees2 Weeks Before• Call caterer with final total of guests• Confirm directions, pickup & drop-off

points with transportation service.Confirm all other professionals

1 Week• Create a detailed schedule of your

wedding day activities• Get a manicure &/or pedicure &/or

other beauty services.• Pack for your honeymoon• Confirm post-wedding brunch

arrangements1 Day• Get a manicure• Attend wedding rehearsal• Pack wedding day emergency kit.

(extra pantihose, safety pins, thread &needle, steamer, brush & make-up)

• Get a good night's sleepYour Wedding Day• Eat a good breakfast• Have your make-up done• Have your hair done• Give yourself lots of ready-time• Relax & have fun!After YourWedding Day• Send thank-you’s &/or send gifts to

the special people who made yourwedding "happen."

• Send wedding photo &announcement to newspaper(s)

Wedding Planning Timetable

Background Photo by: Neil Gates Photography

29Chicagoland Edition

The UfrufOn the Sabbath before the wedding, theGroom (Chatan) is traditionally given analliyah – the blessing before and afterthe Torah portion is read – and his familyusually sponsors a kiddush receptionafter services. Ufruf is Yiddish for "callingup". In congregations where women mayperform an alliyah, both bride and groommay be called up. Check with the Rabbito arrange this or to read a parasha(Torah portion). Is this reminiscent ofyour bar mitzvah? Like your bar/bat

mitzvah, you may be able to call othersin your family for an alliyah as well.Now for the fun part:The congregation, perhaps led by thewiseguys in your family, will shower you(pelt you is more accurate) with raisins,almonds and sweets to wish you a sweetlife and fruitful marriage to come! (Noteto wiseguys: please check withSynagogue staff before you hand outsweets, as some synagogues have poli-cies regarding this custom).

What makesa Jewishwedding Jewish?

There are very few require-ments for a Jewish wed-ding, which include a mar-riage contract (ketubah), thereligious ceremonies (kid-

dushin and nisuin), a plain gold bandaccepted by the bride, and the pronounce-ment that you are husband and wife.Therefore, most of what we recognize asmaking a wedding Jewish are a wide vari-ety of customs and traditions that aresteeped in history. But customs change overtime and location, even those in"traditional" weddings.Some traditions are adopted from placeswhere people live, where their ancestorscame from, or from other places or families.Some customs are modernized to reflectthe secular realities of life in the modernworld, includingmodern feminism, thecongregational practices and philosophies,and as an accommodation to Jews-by-choice and non-Jews. Ancient customs cansometimes survive only in terms of theirrelevance in a changing world.“Wewould like to have a wedding thatincorporates at least some of the wonderfultraditions of our forebears, a link to the past,but at the same time is meaningful to us.”Anita Diamant points out in The NewJewishWedding that modern Jews cannotmarry the sameway their parents did.

"The world has changed toomuch. Ourexpectations of marriage are not the same,"she states. "We are different kinds of Jews."This requires the bride and groom tomakedecisions about the exact traditions theyintend to continue. Many of the followingrituals are practiced in traditional weddings.An interesting pattern has lately emergedthat the more exotic and ancient the cus-tom, the more it will be adopted as a trueexpression of authentic Judaism.This hasespecially become true among youngercouples who have been raised with expo-sure to the more modern customs. If youchoose not to strictly follow all these tradi-tions youmay choose those elements ofthe ceremony that appeal to you, that oth-ers in your community or congregation fol-low, or those you adapt from secular events.Be sure not to adopt customs from otherreligions. In this way you customize (yes,the root word is custom) your Jewish wed-ding to meet the needs and desires of yourfamily and you.Will this be an easy process? Perhaps not,but it is part of the fun of planning a wed-ding, and not a part you can delegate toothers. Making choices about which ele-ments in a Jewish wedding will remaintraditional involves merging two or morefamilies, often with different backgrounds,values, and practices. Leave room for com-promise so that everyone feels that thewedding honors what is most importantto them.

The MikvahTraditionally observant brides and allconverts go to the mikvah, the ritualbath, before the wedding. This tradition isancient and is a law, not a custom. Theyare maintained by most Orthodox andsome Conservative and Reform syna-gogues, as well. The mikvah is a pool ofwater fed by a running source, asopposed to stagnant. A lake, pond, orriver is an ideal mikvah, but ratheruncomfortable most of the year. Indoormikvahs have an attendant and usuallyfull bath facilities.Because the mikvah is associated in theTalmud with the "impurity" of menstru-ating women, it has fallen into disfavorby some as a relic of archaic times, not

relevant to today. But mikvah is reallyabout spiritual purification, and a visit tothe mikvah before the wedding is a wayto ceremonially start again "rebirth". Theceremony is quite simple. The bride-to-be is immersed completely in the poolseveral times, floating freely, and a sim-ple prayer is said when she comes up.This is a joyous occasion often followed,especially in the Sephardic tradition, by aparty with food and drink, sometimes bybridesmaids waiting right outside.Outdoor ceremonies can be done at someunusual locations with poetry, picnicsand whatnot. Some men have evenjoined the tradition with their own mik-vah visits (call well ahead for reserva-tions) and men-only parties that follow.

The Wedding DayThe customs of the wedding day createmomentum that culminate with thewedding ceremony itself, the kiddushin.Friends and family can be part of theevents just prior to the wedding.

Fasting on theWedding DayThe day of the wedding the chatan(groom) and kallah (bride) fast andrepent their sins, and they are guaran-teed that if they do so, all their sins areforgiven. Thus, they start out their newlife together with a clean slate. As onYom Kippur, this ritual fasting is notabout self-punishment, but about start-ing over (in this case, in union witheach other).

SeparationIt is customary for the bride and groomnot to see each other for three days to aweek before the wedding.The groom will not see the bride untiljust before the ceremony, at the veiling ofthe bride. Since this is usually an anxiousand nerve-rattling period, this customhas practical advantages that can saveyou tears and fears. Spend some timewith friends and family, and let theanticipation of the upcoming event grow.

Kabbalat Panim -Greeting the Brideand GroomSeparate receptions, called KabbalatPanim, are held just prior to the weddingceremony, when the honored ones hold

court in separate rooms. Check with yourrabbi since some do allow pre-weddingreceptions. Jewish tradition and law treatthe couple like a queen and king. Thekallah will be seated on a "throne" toreceive her guests. Some brides, jitteryfrom nerves, may limit guests to thebridal party. Others will have a more tra-ditional reception with songs, flowers,blessings, cake and wine. Perhaps themusicians will make a first appearance.Here the bride waits for the groom’sreception to end.The groom will be surrounded by his cir-cle of friends and relatives at a table, thetish, who sing and toast him. The groommay attempt to present a lecture on theweek's Torah portion, while his malefriends and family heckle and interrupthim. Despite the groom’s Talmudic

knowledge, or lack thereof, this is sup-posed to fun, not a serious undertaking.Other formats may involve a ‘roast’of thegroom by friends. At the tish, the groom,witnesses and the rabbi might sign theketubah or, if both parties are signingtogether, they may do this in anotherroom, such as the rabbi’s study.In a more modern version of the tish,both bride and groom are entertainedand received together with blessings,songs, flowers, or music. The ketubahmay then be signed and the partyproceeds directly to the chuppah.There are many variations of the tish,so ask your rabbi, cantor, or eventplanner for more ideas. The popularityof the tish is increasing as a delightfulpre-wedding ritual.

Customizing Your Wedding!

(Continued on Page 34)

Signing The KetubahWhether or not pre-wedding receptionsare held, a ketubah, or marriage contract,is signed and witnessed. In traditionalceremonies the Groom signs the ketubahin a separate room, in the presence ofwitnesses and the Rabbi, before thewedding can begin. The bride need notsign it, because it belongs to her alone,according to Jewish law, as proof of herrights and the groom’s responsibilities(financial and otherwise). It was a radicaldocument in ancient times, giving thewife important legal protection. It was alegal document, neither beautiful nor

romantic, and the traditional language ofthe document remained basicallyunchanged for centuries.The traditional ketubah does not neces-sarily reflect the realities of modern mar-riages or contemporary views on rela-tionships. Many couples have found newketubot, or have written language them-selves, that is more egalitarian. Manyketubot now include parallel declarationsof commitment made by both bride andgroom with a joint declaration of faith inG_d and a connection to the Jewishpeople. It can be a way to remind thecouple of their moral responsibilities toone other.With many hand calligraphedketubot available, as well as many retailand internet sources of publishedketubah texts, couples have a large num-ber of choices to customize the text toreflect their particular values. You mustconfer with your rabbi before you decideon which text to sign, and certainlybefore any artwork is ordered. Since theyare legal documents, not all rabbis willaccept all texts. Moreover, only Orthodoxand Conservative texts are recognized in

the State of Israel.There are just as many choices with theart that often accompanies the text. Theketubah is often written among beautifulartwork, to be framed and displayed inthe home. Having a ketubah profession-ally calligraphed and made even morespecial with customized decorations hasalso become popular. The artwork on onesuch ketubah at a recent wedding, incor-porated elements from the childhood ofeach half of the couple, merging intoshared experiences at the top.The ketubah is sometimes read to theentire assembly, and it can even besigned and witnessed after the reading,while under the chuppah.

The VeilingMany brides still choose to wear a veil,an ancient custom that has its roots inthe Bible. Others have rejected it as anantiquated symbol of patriarchal domi-nance. It may be seen as representing themodesty and dignity which characterizesthe virtue of Jewish womanhood. Theveil also conveys the message to the

world, symbolically, that physicalappearance is not as important as innerbeauty. It has biblical roots in the story ofthe patriarch Jacob, who was first trickedby his father-in-law into marrying thewrong sister, Leah, her face well hiddenbehind a veil, instead of the girl he loved,Rachel. By placing the veil over theBride’s face himself, the Groom ensuresthe same type of switch isn’t made. A funtradition enhanced by a bit of history.If a veil is to be worn, the groom is invit-ed to the bedeken, lowering the veil ontothe bride. Accompanied by both fathersplus friends and relatives, the groom,who has not seen his Bride for a week,enters the bride’s chamber and lowersthe veil over the bride’s face. This can beseen to symbolize either his commitmentto clothe and protect his wife, setting herapart from all others, or an indicationthat he is only interested in her innerbeauty. In any case, this can be a charm-ing and emotional part of the wedding.An egalitarian twist has the bride placinga kippah on the groom’s head at thesame time.

The ProcessionKeeping with the practice of treating thebride and groom like royalty, a processionleading to the chuppah is quite tradition-al. Because a Jewish wedding is, aboveall, a family affair, the simplest processioninvolves the bride and groom, eachescorted by both parents, moving downthe aisle and under the chuppah. Thisdemonstrates the marriage is a union offamilies, not of individuals. But Jewishlaw does not govern the makeup of theprocession, and so couples are free todecide the exact arrangement of theirprocession. There are many variationsaccording to family situations anddynamics. Sometimes grandparents fol-low the rabbi or cantor, followed by theushers and bridesmaids (separate inOrthodox weddings), the best man, the

groom and his parents, more ushers andbridesmaids, the maid of honor, andfinally the bride and her parents.Variations allow grandparents to enterwith their side of the family. Secondmarriages, divorced parents, missing ordeceased relatives, the need for a verysmall or intimate service, etc., all requireadaptations to the order, which isperfectly acceptable.The number of attendants is of no conse-quence, since they are not required. Onlytwo "Kosher" witnesses are requiredunder Jewish law.While we do not spec-ify what this may mean, clearly non-Jews do not qualify as witnesses (andthey must not be relatives). Ushers andbridesmaids certainly add a festive andregal air to the ceremony, and theyshould at least include any brothers andsisters. Sometimes a flower girl is used,

although in most Jewish weddings, thering is held by the best man. The bestman at a Jewish wedding, called ashoshbin, is historically a best friend whowould offer a large gift to the groomupon marriage, perhaps to defray thecost of an expensive wedding affair, andwas therefore entitled to celebrate withthe groom during the wedding week.The understanding was that this treat-ment would be reciprocated upon themarriage of the shoshbin, wherein theroles would be reversed.The arrangement under the chuppah ofthe people involved is also not proscribedby Jewish law. Many chuppahs arearranged so that the wedding partyfacing the rabbi is facing Jerusalem.Hundreds of years of Ashkenazic traditioncalls for the bride to be at the groom’sright. Proponents of Jewish mysticism,

Kabbalah, claim that the question reflectsthe tension between the divine attributesof justice and mercy. The merciful, mas-culine aspect of G_d is identified withthe right side, and the just, female sidewith the left. Therefore the bride shouldstand on the left and the groom onthe right.Candles may be carried by escorts andattendants, making a lovely old-worldeffect, especially at dusk outdoors or in apartly darkened room. The candles sym-bolize the oneness that will come aboutas the couple is united under the chup-pah. Check with the synagogue or recep-tion hall staff, because fire codes mayprohibit it. Use dripless tapers, braidedhavdalah candles or jar candles to avoida real mess.Live music during the procession is an

The Wedding Day Continued...

The ChuppahEasily the most recognized feature of a Jewish wedding, the ceremony takes place under a wedding canopy, or chuppah.The origin of the chuppah in the Talmud is certain, even if its exact form is not. In any case, the symbolism in the chuppahhas many meanings. Chuppah means literally "that which covers or floats" in Hebrew. Traditionally, weddings occurredoutdoors under the stars, and the canopy created an intimate, sanctified space in which to take the vows. It also repre-sents the new home for the married couple. The chuppah is a reminder of the desert tents of our nomadic ancestors. Forthese reasons, some traditional reception facilities have skylights positioned over the place where the chuppah will stand.A traditional chuppah is a fabric covering held up by four poles, open on all four sides. Since there are no legal requirements as to the chuppah's shape or dimensions, couples have creat-ed new chuppah traditions that express their unique personalities. Some customs have involved using a tallit, perhaps a family heirloom or your Bar/Bat Mitzvah tallit. Others have usedcraft-type projects such as quilts, embroidered or silk-screened fabric, or custom lettered projects. In fact, the chuppah can be a group or community project of special sentimental value.See the ad on page 31 for Arkay Chuppahs.

The Wedding Service Photoby:Ro

myModlinPho

tograp

hy

Photoby:RomyModlinPhotography

30 Visit us online at www.milestonesmagazine.com

old tradition, one that sets the moodand the pace of the occasion. A soloistor small group is usually best, but leaveenough lead-time to find and rehearsethe appropriate music. Cantors usuallycan assist in choosing the bestprocessional music.The logistics of the procession and stand-ing under the chuppah can cause frictionand anxiety, and for this reason aloneyou may wish to have a weddingrehearsal. Some rabbis dismiss this as awaste of time, while others will gladlyaccommodate your request, so be sureto ask.

CirclingWhen the couple first enters thechuppah, the bride circles the groomseven times, perhaps accompanied bymusic or a soloist, and sometimesescorted by both mothers. This is a veryold custom, the meaning and origin ofwhich has no consensus. It is neverthe-less a nice touch, beautifully moving ifnot a bit exotic. One explanation is that itrepresents the seven wedding blessingsand seven days of creation, and demon-strating that the groom is the center ofher world. Another comes from the Bible,which says that a woman encompassesand protects a man.While this phrase

probably refers to a courtship rather thanactually walking around, advocates of thecustom found it to be a convenientexpression.The circling was known in ancient timesto be a magical means of protection,building an invisible wall around thegroom, protecting him from evil spirits. Itcan be seen also as an act that defines anew family circle, binding the bride tothe groom and away from the parents.Mystically speaking, the bride may beseen as entering the seven spheres of thegroom’s soul. Joshua circled the wall ofJericho seven times, and then the wallsfell down. So, too, after the bride walksaround the groom seven times, the wallsbetween them will fall and their soulswill be united. These are obscure ideasfor a modern wedding, so you may wantto explain this and other customs in awedding booklet available to yourguests.Of course, circling has been rejected bysome Jews in the recent past as evidenceof the patriarchal and demeaning natureof the bride circling around her ‘master’,marking her territory from other women.But it can also be seen as a strong act ofdefinition: Here is the space we will sharetogether. Some couples have also mod-

ernized the ritual by circling one another,first the bride around the groom clock-wise, then the groom around the bridethe other way. This mutual circling is astatement of balance and reciprocalrespect in declaring a space together andthe breaking down of barriers.

KiddushinThe Jewish wedding ceremony has twoparts, kiddushin and nisuin, which areperformed together under the chuppah,but which have distinct differences.Kiddushin, which translates as "sanctifi-cation" or "dedication", is actually abetrothal ceremony, a bonding of twosouls into one with each other and withG_d. The bride and groom establish anexclusive relationship.The Rabbi greets everyone and makestwo blessings over a cup of wine. Aswith all Jewish simchas, wine is a sym-bol of abundance and joy. The bride andgroom take a sip of wine. Next comes thering, the essential part of the ceremony.The groom places a plain gold ring, with-out any stones or embellishments, on theindex finger of the bride’s right hand, thefinger thought to be directly connectedto the heart. The groom repeats theblessing: "Behold, you are consecrated tome with this ring according to the laws

of Moses and Israel." This thousand-year-old practice, the act of kiddushin, com-pletes the betrothal. The kiddushin hasaccomplished kinyan, the symbolic act ofthe bride acquiring something of valuefrom the groom, and Jewish law nowconsiders them married.In a double ring ceremony the bride thenrepeats the process with a similar, butgender-corrected, version of the sameblessing. This is often not allowed bymore traditional rabbis because it is saidto invalidate kinyan, the formal act of thebride acquiring something of value fromthe groom (since an exchange is beingmade). In that case the bride may pres-ent the groom’s ring, and the bride’s ringplaced on her left ring finger, after theceremony (and forever after).If wedding vows, or "I do’s" are desired,and the rabbi agrees to speak them, theywill be exchanged at this point. Somereally beautiful vows, mutual promises orpoetry, often written by the bride andgroom affirming their devotion for oneanother, can be added as a powerful per-sonal statement to the ceremony.

The Wedding Service Continued...

One of the oldest and most importanttraditions of a Jewish wedding ceremo-ny is the chuppah, or wedding canopy.The word chuppah literally means“cov-ering”and has been interpreted to sym-bolize everything from the tents of theHebrews wandering through the desertto the new home that the couple willmake together. It is said that the chup-pah invites not only the presence of G-d, but also the spirits of beloved ances-tors to witness the marriage ceremonyof their descendants.There are many beliefs about the historyand evolution of the chuppah. Inancient times it was the custom to placethe chuppah outdoors as a reference toGod’s promise to Abraham to make hisseed as numerous as the stars. It is saidthat in Biblical days, trees were plantedwhen babies were born. When theymarried, branches from the trees wereused as the poles of the chuppot; today,poles are often adorned with treebranches to represent this tradition.

These days, chuppot can be found onbimahs, in gardens, on rooftops, andfrom beaches to mountaintops.Regardless of where a chuppah stands,the space beneath it is always sacred –the place where the bride and groomstand before G-d and their family todeclare their love and commitment toeach other and take their weddingvows.The requirements regarding the struc-ture of the chuppah are very simple: itmust have a canopy top made of cloth,be held up by four poles, and have allfour sides open. A chuppah can beeither freestanding or hand-held. If it ishand-held, it is an honor to be a chup-pah pole bearer. A chuppah can be assimple as a family tallit or as elaborateas creativity and the imagination willallow.

The Chuppahby Renee Kahn

(Continued on Page 32)

31Chicagoland Edition

32 Visit us online at www.milestonesmagazine.com

A Wedding Programserves a similar functionas the Bar/BatMitzvah bookletfor the service.The program iscompiled andproduced bythe family fordistribution tocongregants andguests by theushers, or insert-ed into prayerbooks. It can havea variety of uniquefeatures aimed atrelatives andfriends, guests,congregants, non-Jewishguests, and so on. Thesealso make great keep-sakes of the wedding.

Program Examples:• A step-by-step description of the

ceremony,• A brief explanation of the

meaning of a JewishWeddingceremony,

• Comments by the bride and groom onthe personal meaning of the day,

• Poems or wedding vows, etc.• A description of the history and

tradition behind the ketubah, thechuppah, or rituals such as circling,the Seven Blessings, and breakingthe glass,

• An explanation of the music usedin the processional or during theceremony,

• The text of your ketubah,• Copy of the wedding invitation,• Comments from close relatives,• Photographs of the bride and groom.

Creative, additions like ribbon or laceare nice. Check with your Rabbi firstbefore making copies to distribute.

The Wedding Program

Background Photo by: Golden Memories By Hazel

NisuinThe second part of the wedding ceremo-ny, nisuin, the nuptials, completes themarriage. Because the two parts of theceremony, kiddushin and nisuin werehistorically separated, the ketubah is readaloud before the nuptials as a way ofclearly separating the two halves. Thetext is usually read aloud in Aramaic,often repeated in English. The ketubah isthen stored away for safe keeping, or itmay be displayed on an easel for gueststo inspect. The rabbi may then say a fewwords about the couple, particularly ifhe/she has known the couple, or one ofthem, for a while, or he may launch intoa longer sermon.The nisuin begins with the seven bless-ings, sheva b'rachot, and ends withyichud, or seclusion, after the ceremony.The seven blessings begin with anotherfull cup of wine. They may be recited bythe Rabbi or by various guests the couplewish to honor. Although it’s usually not aproblem, they must be recited in thepresence of a minyan, a formal quorumof ten adults. In addition to a blessingover the wine, there is praise for G_d ascreator of the world and of men andwomen; a prayer for the newly marriedcouple and of the ten degrees of rejoic-ing. The blessings also include a prayerthat Jerusalem will be fully rebuilt andrestored with the Temple in its midst and

the Jewish people within her gates,showing wishes not only for the individ-uals but the community in which theylive. The couple then drinks from the sec-ond cup of wine. The Rabbi pronouncesthe couple officially husband and wife.

The GlassThe traditional ending of a Jewish wed-ding is probably the most recognizedfeature: breaking the glass. It is an oldcustom that is not formally part of theceremony, yet pages have been writtenabout its meaning, which has beenwidely interpreted. A glass is placed onthe floor, often wrapped in cloth or anapkin to prevent injury, and the groombreaks it with his foot. Some coupleseven choose to break it together, which isfine. The crowd shouts "Mazel Tov!" andjoyous music begins (Siman Tov andMazel Tov is a favorite!). But what doesbreaking the glass represent? Here aresome opinions:• Even during times of great joy, we

should remember the tragic destruc-tion of the Temple in Jerusalem,symbolizing all suffering by Jewseverywhere;

• a representation of the fragility ofhuman relationships;

• a reminder that marriage transformsthe lives of individuals forever;

• it represents a break with childhoodand the parents’home;

• in contrast to the solemn moments ofthe ceremony, the loud crash signalslevity and celebration to begin;

• a symbol of the irrevocability ofmarriage;

• this is the last time the groom getsto "put his foot down."

Yichud-SeclusionAfter the couple leave the chuppah,tradition calls for them to retire to a pri-vate room where they might spend tenor fifteen minutes together alone inyichud–seclusion. This is historically aritual reserved only for married couples,and they are escorted to the room bywitnesses and the door is closed. This is awonderful time to reflect on the union oftwo souls without interference, to hugand kiss, to take a breather before you areonce again the center of attention. It iscustomary to eat together as a marriedcouple for the first time, breaking fast(except for those sips of wine during theceremony) if you have fasted. Chickenbroth has been served in Ashkenazictradition as a symbol of prosperity tocome. Sephardic tradition calls for a mealof doves symbolizing marital peace.Another idea is a glass of champagneand a plate of cocktail hour hors d’oeu-vres that you might otherwise nevertaste (talk to the caterer or ask a friend tobring this). Eat something here because,given the excitement and schedule ofevents, many couples do not eat much attheir own wedding. This is also a good

time to place the rings on the correctfingers, remove the veil, tallit and otherceremonial garb.When you emerge fromthe yichud, you are the newest marriedcouple in the room.As a practical matter, this time gives thecaterer and guests a few minutes totransition into the dining hall or cocktailarea, to visit the rest rooms, congratulatethe parents, and so on. It also avoids thereception line, at least immediately afterthe ceremony, which leaves guestswandering around while waiting forthe line to end.

The Reception LineThis has become a standard at manyAmerican weddings, even Jewish ones,so you may still wish to have one, espe-cially if you are not observing yichud. Ifso, it may be held immediately after theceremony, after yichud, or after a cocktailhour. The format is often the same,including both sets of parents, bride andgroom, maid/matron of honor andbridesmaids. The best man and ushers donot participate, particularly since ushersare not required at Jewish weddings. Thisis the place for guests to express congrat-ulations and for parents to kvell-swellwith pride. Keep smiling, be gracious, butdon’t chat too long. It’s OK to ask namesif you don’t know; most folks are glad tointroduce themselves.Now, it’s off to the reception!

The Wedding Service Continued...

Interfaith MarriagesBy Carla Gohde, Chicago Area Associate Publisher forMilestones Party Planning GuideFor an interfaith couple, the planning oftheir ceremony often presents a challenge.The blending of two different religiousbackgrounds in a ceremony is stressful forthe couple and their families.Many couples choose not to have anyreligious aspect to their service. A judge issimply there to marry the couple. Forsome couples, this seems like the easiestway to satisfy both sides. Other coupleschoose to have a Rabbi, Priest/ Minister, orboth co-officiate their ceremony.Whatever you decide as a couple, keep inmind that you may incorporate certaintraditions or words that are important toyou. Perhaps, if the judge is marrying you,you may want to be beneath theChuppah or “break the glass”. You may talkto the officiant(s) about some ideas youmay have or ask them for their input. Theyhave performed many interfaith weddingsand may have very helpful suggestions foryour service.You should never think of your service asbreaking tradition, only as starting a new

tradition. It will serve to inspire andenlighten all of your guests and allowthem a glimpse of a couple who arebeginning their lives together with differ-ent religious beliefs, but a shared interestin each other. As a couple, it will be thebeginning of this shared responsibility tolearn, respect, compromise, and incorpo-rate these traditions in their daily lives.Interfaith marriages can be celebratedwhen the couple is able to embrace theirdifferences and teach their families andfriends acceptance.

DecorationsFormal or fanciful, simple or bold, decorations set themood and tone of a party. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah hasworked hard to get there, make the celebration festive,regardless of your budget! Table centerpieces usuallycoordinate with the theme (see feature at left).Linens and napkins could coordinate with colorthemes, and they make a dramatic color statement.Some banquet facilities have a selection of colors, butrental centers will have a larger assortment. Considerchair covers, they add elegance to the setting. Checkout the decor in your banquet hall or facility. Ask aboutupcoming renovations. Choose colors and decorationsthat will not clash with the surroundings. Don’t forgetabout decorations for the buffet tables, gift table, andband/DJ area. Clusters and arches of balloons are aninexpensive and dramatic way to add large splashes ofcolor. Decorate tables with inexpensive glitter for a fes-tive appearance. Remember to include a table with asign-in or message book, keeping with your theme. Aneasel with a decorated photo collage or for sign-ins(don’t forget some colorful pens!) can add excitementto a room entrance and point the way for guests.A decorated welcome sign on an easel can be a beaconto guests and also set the tone of the celebration. Useballoons, cardboard cutouts, flowers, enough to identifythis as a special time for the child and the guests.Decorate baskets filled with favors, socks for youngerdancers (the girls always seem to take off their shoes),candy, or to place gifts. Make all your decorationarrangements well in advance. Many vendors will gladlydeliver and set up for you, if you coordinate with thefacility. Check with your synagogue or facility managerfor any restrictions on decorations, set-up times, extracleanup charges, etc. that may apply.

Who ShouldDecide What?

What You Should DecideThe Size and Style of the Reception • Main Menu

Adult Guest List • How Many Kids • Location & Times •Professionals to Hire • Hora Music • Decorations

What The Bar/Bat Mitzvah Could DecideTheme • Kids Guest List • Kids’ Seating Arrangement

Dance Music • Clothing• Alternate Entertainment • Candle Lighting Tributes

Decide As A TeamAlliyot and Honor Participants

Candle Lighting Honorees • Invitations

The Great Theme DebateWhether or not to add a theme to aBar/Bat Mitzvah celebration is not somuch a matter of debate but of per-sonal preference. If a theme willdetract from your celebration,forget it! You don’t need oneto have a meaningful spiritualand family experience.

If a theme will add some fun to your celebrationwithout detracting from the experience, thengo for it! Always consult the Bar/Bat Mitzvahfor suggested themes, but remember, atheme often involves extra work and expense,so be prepared. Here are a few of the manypossible themes you might use.

Sports Theme• Use football, baseball, soccer ball-shaped balloons.• Favors could be personalized balls, rackets, puck’s etc.• Centerpieces could include miniature “sports”ball

or foam board cut-outs.• A blow-up of your child’s favorite sports pose.

Television/Movie Themes(Wizard of Oz, Star Wars,Gone With the Wind, etc.)• Use life-size cardboard stand-ups for

decoration (often found at party stores).• Name the tables different characters

(placecards could read: Mr./Mrs. Guestare seated at the Rhett Butler table).

• Movie or TV props could be incorporatedinto the centerpieces.

Hollywood Stars Theme• Your sign-in or welcome board could read:

“Now Appearing”or “The Star of the Showis (child’s name)”along with a blow-uppicture of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah child.

• Each table could be named for a popularstar i.e., Tom Cruise, John Travolta.

• Centerpieces and namecards could includea Hollywood theme.

Israeli Theme• Each table could be named for a different city in Israel.• Decorations and balloons could be blue and white.• Israeli flags could be used in

the centerpiece.

Torah Portion• Lessons from the weekly torah portion come to life!• Tables named for figures, tribes, or

places prominent in the weekly reading.• Crafts to make include take-home

Israeli-style favors.• Create an Israel marketplace with cafe´

tables or pillow areas inside tents like ancient days.• “Torah”scroll sign-in book• Klezmer music and Israel dance instructor.

Candy Theme• Use Hershey® Kiss balloons in

the centerpiece.• You can give a solid chocolate 6-8 ounce Hershey®

Kiss to your candle lighting honorees.• Your female guests could receive a chocolate rose.• Use personalized king-size candy bars as favors

Oscar Party• Use Oscar-shaped invitations.• Tables: Medium sized silver bowls filled with

peaches and plums to be used ascenterpieces for each table. (They look verynice and serve a practical purpose.)

• To entertain your guests before or after the eventplay a home made video of the child and his/herfriends as if they are on T.V. by acting like theirfavorite actors and directors talking about howthey felt about winning an Oscar.

• Every kid receives miniature Oscar key chains(found at party store).

Grand Prix or NASCAR• Black and white checkered paper on tables

Decorate with checkered flags and red,white and black balloons.

• Remote control raceway as an activity Raceposters as souvenirs.

Stroll Down Broadway• Theatre marque, spotlights and flashing neon

to create atmosphere.• Each table could be named for a different play.• Sign–in board with the Bar/Bat Mitzvah on the

cover of a Playbill.

Background Photo by: Jody Garland Design & Photography

Photoby:RomyModlinPho

tograp

hy

Make sure to choose a centerpiece that will not overwhelmthe table or block guests’ view of each other. Considersome of following, in addition to themed centerpieces, fora unique touch:• Special effect lighting, lasers, fog, snow• Fireworks or pyrotechnics• Candle lighting name display• Sign-in-boards and theme props, like cardboard cut-outsPa

rtyPo

inter!

33Chicagoland Edition

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decorations&them

edesign

Decorations & Theme Design34

This section includes party stores, centerpiecedesigning services, balloon artists, florists, aswell as businesses offering sign-in boards,decorated guest books, and other personal-ized services. These will be the biggest con-tributors to a themed celebration. Ask them ifdelivery is included and if they could design asample to help you decide. Make sure tochoose a centerpiece that will not overwhelmthe table or block guests’ view of each other.Consider some of following, in addition to themedcenterpieces, for a unique touch:

• Special effect lighting, lasers, fog, snow• Fireworks or pyrotechnics• Candle lighting name display• Sign-in-boards and theme props, like cardboard cut-outs• Ice Sculptures

Out-Of-Towners GuideIf you expect guests from out-of-town toshare the Bar/Bat Mitzvah’s or weddingcouple’s special moments, consider the fol-lowing:HotelsReserve early! Even if no holiday is appar-ent on your date, hotels fill up because ofconventions, retreats, etc.Hotel rooms are usually reserved in blocks.Some charge fees to reserve. This can beespecially helpful if you have a number ofguests arriving during a period whenhotels are busy.Consider reserving rooms at two or morehotels for convenience and different pricelevels.A small “welcome package” from the hostfamily is a nice touch to make out-of-townguests feel at home. Hotels can arrangethese for a fee, or you can package theminexpensively and the hotel will usuallydistribute them for free. Contents caninclude snacks, kosher foods, home bakedgoods, toys and cards for children, soda,fruits, mementos, etc. Flowers for theroom are also a nice touch.A shuttle service is a convenient way totransport guests unfamiliar with local

roads to the synagogue or reception site,especially for an evening event. Check withhotels for airport shuttles. You couldarrange ride–sharing for guests rentingcars and staying at the same hotel and/orarriving at the same time. Also check intotransportation companies who offer pack-ages or hourly rates. See limousine tips onour web site.InvitationsSend a“Save the Date”postcard to out-of-towners 6-10 months in advance to assurethat other plans won’t conflict with yourspecial day. See a sample of a “Save TheDate Poem”on our web site.Include a map and directions for all activi-ties during the day or weekend. Directionsshould cover from the hotel(s) to the syna-gogue, and, if applicable, to the functionhall. Try photocopying a local map tolocate the synagogue with location circled.Mapquest.com and Travelocity.com arehelpful web sites.Family ActivitiesAdditional activities add another dimen-sion to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah or weddingexperience and allow opportunities toenjoy relatives and friends that you may

not see frequently.Consider the following: If your child isbecoming a Bar or Bat Mitzvah onSaturday Morning, invite guests to the syn-agogue on Friday night to enjoy the serviceand Oneg Shabbat. This also applies to theUfruf before the wedding.Family portraits can be arranged at home,at the reception site, or synagogue.A“morning after”brunch is a delightfulway to wrap up the simcha and allowfamilies and friends to be together onemore time.MiscellaneousYou may wish to schedule appointmentsfor manicures, hair, and make-up appoint-ments for your guests who will not befamiliar with the area.Consider a web site for the Bar/BatMitzvah or the wedding couple thatincludes weekend and hotel information,online RSVP, printable driving instructions,explanations for non-Jewish guests, andmuch more. Photos can be posted hereafter the event, as well as thanks, thoughtsand reflections, and personal messages.An agenda of weekend activities sent withthe invitations will help guests schedule

flights or travel plans, help them planwhat to pack, and add to the excitement oftraveling.If guests may have some extra time to getout and explore, include brochures or con-tact information for popular sightseeingdestinations in the invitation or a subse-quent mailing.

St. Thomas Synagogue, St. Thomas, USVI

Photoby:NeilG

atesPho

tograp

hyDecorations & Theme DesignChicagoland Edition 35

Calendar of Jewish HolidaysAdapted with permission from B’nai B’rith (www.bnaibrith.org)The Jewish day begins and ends at sundown. Thus, all holidays begin at sundown of theday preceding the date shown and end at sundown of the (last) day shown. Since theJewish calendar begins with Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish year always straddles two years

from the civil calendar. In other words, spring Holidays (such as Pesach and Shavuot)occur in the civil year following Rosh Hashanah.Note: Not all Jewish familiesobserve two days for holidays shown as lasting two days.

2015-20165776

2016-20175777

2017-20185778

2018-20195779

Rosh Hashanah - The Jewish NewYear;start of the Ten Days of Penitence Sept. 14-15 Oct. 3-4 Sept. 21-22 Sept. 10-11

Yom Kippur - Day of Atonement; a very solemn day of the year,devoted to fasting, prayer and repentance. Sept. 23 Oct. 12 Sept. 30 Sept. 19

Sukkot - First two days of Tabernacles; commemoratingthe dwelling of the Israelites in booths in the wilderness. Sept. 28-29 Oct. 17-18 Oct. 5-6 Sept. 24-25

Shemini Atzeret - Eighth Day of Assemblyand Simchat Torah -Rejoicing of the Law. Oct. 5-6 Oct. 24-25 Oct. 12-13 Oct. 1-2

Hanukkah - Festival of Lights; victory of the Maccabeesand rededication of the Temple. Dec. 17-24 Dec. 25- Jan. 1 Dec. 13-20 Dec. 3-10

Purim - Celebrates defeat of plot to destroy the Jews of Persia. Mar. 24 Mar. 12 Mar. 1 Mar. 21

Pesach - Passover; deliverance of the Jewish people from Egypt.The Seder service on the first two evenings recounts the story. Apr. 23-24 Apr. 11-12 Mar. 31 - Apr. 1 Apr. 20-21

The last two days of Pesach are also observed as full holy days. Apr. 29-30 Apr. 17-18 Apr. 6-7 Apr. 26-27

Shavuot - Feast ofWeeks; marks the giving ofthe Law (Torah) at Mt. Sinai. June 12-13 May 31-June 1 May 20-21 June 9-10

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invitations&calligraphy

Invitations & Calligraphy36

Order your invitations at least six monthsbefore the event. Check the wording carefully,you don’t want to inadvertently leave some-thing out. Ask your friends to show you anyinvitations they may have saved to use as areference, or examine wording arrangementsin the invitation books. Also, don’t rush thedecision, you may need to look at severalsample books over a period of weeks beforeyou make up your mind, especially if youare letting your child help you decide.Remember to order extra envelopes foraddress changes or if a mistake is made.Hire calligraphy service as soon as theinvitations arrive, to allow plenty of timefor the project to be completed.

Place cards (or seating cards) are a crucial ele-ment at very special events. Place cards allowparty planners to be very creative, while serv-ing the simple function of assigning guests toparticular tables for their meal without confu-sion or additional assistance. The card typicallyhas the name of each guest and the assignedtable number (married couples are oftenassigned together on one card, eg. Mr. & Mrs.Paul Levy). They are often displayed on a tableoutside the reception hall, such as an assem-bly or pre-function hallway. Matching tablenumbers are placed separately or as part of adecorative centerpiece. You can ask your invi-tation dealer to supply these, or order fromanother source, such aswww.mazeltovfavors.com.The price ranges for these cards vary greatlyand so do the options. Place cards can coin-cide with the theme of the wedding ormitzvah. Or, they can just be simple, ele-gant, elaborate or crafty. The options toexpress your creativity are endless. Here aresome imaginative seating cards to makeyour event even more fun:• Simple- Elegant yet simple cards can imi-tate the invitations that guests receive.White or beige along with black or navywork best.• Frames- Name cards can be placed in apicture frame (glass, wood, etc.), or a fun

display, such as an acrylic coaster or snowglobe frame (see www.partyfavorbiz.comand www.cadettmarketing.com).• Sweet- Purchase or make gingerbreadmen/woman, cookies, tiny tarts, or cup-cakes. Guest’s names can be written on thesweet treats with royal icing.• Toast- Champagne flutes can be etchedwith guest’s names (expensive) or namescan be written on a tag and then tiedaround the glass. As guests arrive at thetable and find their seats, servers can filltheir glasses with a bubbly beverage.• Clip it- Simple place card clips or fancycard holders, such as the metal chair figures(Elegance – 85156) found atwww.cadettmarketing.com, are available toadd a dash of pizzazz and keep your guestscommenting.The options above are just a few examplesof some original seating cards that will catchthe attention of guests. It is important, how-ever, to avoid making the place cards tooelaborate. Cards that are large in size and aretoo busy and may become distracting. Partyplanners want the guests to remember theexceptional day. Place cards that can betaken home serve as a wonderful mementoof the event and add style and fun to anyevent.

Place Card Ideas

Invitations & CalligraphyChicagoland Edition 37

While very original invitation wordingcan follow almost any pattern, mostinvitation messages follow a three-partconstruction:1. The expression of sentiment followed

by the invitation to attend;2. Day, time, and place;3. Invitation to share a luncheon, dinner

or some other simcha with the fami-ly, bride and groom, or B’nai Mitzvah.This is sometimes expressed on aseparate card, allowing the option toexclude it in the envelope.

The following are some examples ofthe wording of the first portion:

B’nai Mitzvah• With pride and joy we invite you to

join us (or worship with us) as ourdaughter, Michelle Kim, is called tothe Torah as a Bat Mitzvah...

• With special feelings of loveand pride...

• With pride and pleasure...• With pride and delight and mostly

with love...• We cordially invite you to share the

Bar Mitzvah celebration of ourbeloved son Adam Eric on...

• We invite you to share a proud andspecial moment as we celebrate withjoy the Bat Mitzvah of our daughterRachel on...

• In the tradition of his ancestors ourdear son Phillip Mark will be calledto the Torah (or becomes a BarMitzvah)...

• With the richness of tradition and thepromise of tomorrow we invite youto share this special moment as ourson Harris Simon is called to theTorah as a Bar Mitzvah on...

• Share a special day with us whenour son...

• We would be delighted if you wouldjoin us at the Bat Mitzvah of ourdaughter Allison ...

• We invite you to share in our joy...• We invite you to share a special day

in our lives...• Dorothy and Alan Klein invite you to

share a special moment in their liveswhen their son Zachary David iscalled to the Torah as a Bar Mitzvah...

• My family and I would like you toshare our happiness on the specialoccasion of my Bar Mitzvah on...

• Please join us to celebrate the BatMitzvah of our dear daughter Amy...

Wedding• Mr. and Mrs. Samuel Gish request the

honor of your presence at the mar-riage of Miss Louise Abrams to theirson Alan Gish on...

• ...request the honor of your presenceat the marriage of their daughterEileen J. Gish to Mr. PaulGoldstein on...

• Miss Louise Abrams and Dr. AlanGish request the honor of yourpresence at their wedding on...

• We invite you to join us incelebrating the marriage of ourchildren, Eileen and Paul on....Joyceand Randy Bloom, Howard Fish.

• Our joy will be more complete if youcan share in the marriage of ourdaughter...

• ...will be joined under the chuppah...• We invite you you join us as we

begin our new life on...• ...invite you to join in the ceremony

uniting their children...

Sample InvitationWording

CURREN

TTR

END

S

Invitations...Photo invitation cards, postcards, place cards; Use your favoritepicture to design your card; Retro, vintage or other themedinvitation designs. Start on your database of invitees early. Listeveryone, select your final list later. This should figure into yourplanning. Consult you caterer, calligrapher, or party planner foradvice on how many more guests to invite, based on yourcircumstances, over the number of attendees you are planning.Not everyone you invite will be able to attend.

Get Some Manners: How tosay “Thank you”By Lisa Norton

The big event is over, but thework isn’t done. You are probablyburnt out from party planning andmaking sure the event ran assmoothly as possible, but you willhave to have energy for this lastcritical hurtle—saying thank youto your guests who took the timeto celebrate you.Now you may be saying to yourself, “Ofcourse I know how to say thank you.Excel spreadsheet, mail merge, standard‘Thanks for coming, loved the gift’stamped in each card…and presto!”Unfortunately, if you really want to say“Thank you”properly, the project requiresa bit more work than a simple click of themouse. But, never fear, you CAN writeamazing“thank you”notes that will makeyour guests feel appreciated but will notrequire you to stress out too much. Justfollow these simple tips and you will beon your way to being known as the besthost/hostess among all your family andfriends.1. Before sitting down to write your notes,you must do some pre-writing prepara-tion. Make sure the gifts still have thegivers’ cards attached to them. Gothrough each of the cards and gifts andcreate a list of the names appearing in thecard and what the gift was. Here is wheretechnology can be your friend becauseyou can make a nice spreadsheet contain-ing all the necessary information. This listwill serve as the main reference for writ-ing“thank you’s.” Note: Check the guestlist to see if there was anyone who camebut did not give a gift—you still want tothank them for coming to celebrate yourbig day.2. Purchase formal note cards with match-ing envelopes. Appearance is everything,and you want to show that you took thetime to pick out charming cards and notany old scrap of paper that was lyingaround.3. Handwrite the note. It shows that youput effort into saying thank you. Makeyour friends and family feel like you reallyappreciated their presence at the eventand their present.4. Addressing the note. Now there a cou-ple options here. But first and foremost,the envelope should be addressed formal-ly, “Mr. and Mrs. Smith, 123West OakLane, etc. etc.” However, within the card,the greeting will differ based on your rela-tionship with the giver. If it is someone

you are not on a first name basis with—stick with the formal greeting. However, ifthe person is someone you know wellsuch as a childhood friend, a family mem-ber, a close neighbor you have known allyour life, you can feel free to greet them asyou would normally—“Dear AuntieDiane,”“Hey Bob,”or use a nickname“DearNana.”5. Make the note personal. Here is wherethat list you made will come in handy.Say something about the gift and howmuch you liked it, “A new blender was justwhat I needed,”or “The necklace you gaveme was so beautiful.”6. Sending them out. Make sure you workdiligently and get those cards out ASAP.According to party etiquette, you shouldmail the “thank you”cards within 3 weeksafter receiving the gift. Of course, thesooner the better, but if you just had amassive blow-out of a party, your guestswill not expect “thank you’s” the next day.And if you are feeling overwhelmed andstressed out, just remember a late “thankyou” is better than nothing at all.

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oursynagogues

&organizations

Invitations & Calligraphy38 CateringChicagoland Edition38

Adas Yehuda V'Shoshana2548 Jasper Court,Northbrook, IL 60062847-509-9204Traditional

Am Shalom840 Vernon Ave.Glencoe, IL 60022847-835-4800Reform

Am Yisrael ConservativeCongregation4 Happ RoadNorthfield, IL 60093847-446-7215Conservative

Anita M. StoneJewish Community Center3400W. 196th St.Flossmoor IL 60422JCC

Anshe TikvahPO Box 2455Northbrook, IL 60065847-917-7726Non-denominational

BAY Shul314 N. McHenry RoadBuffalo Grove, IL 60089847-947-4229Orthodox

Bene Shalom4435W. Oakton St.Skokie, IL 60076847-677-3330Reform

Bernard Weinger JCC300 Revere DriveNorthbrook, IL 60062847-205-9480JCC

Beth Chaverim HumanisticJewish Community1457Wilmot RoadDeerfield, IL 60015847-945-6512Nondenominational

Beth Emet The FreeSynagogue1224 Dempster St.Evanston, IL 60202847-869-4230Reform

Beth Hillel CongregationBnai Emunah3220 Big Tree LaneWilmette, IL 60091847-256-1213Conservative

Beth Tikvah Congregation300 Hillcrest BlvdHoffman Estates, IL847-885-4545www.Beth-Tikvah.orgReform

B'nai Yehuda Beth Sholom1424W. 183rdHomewood, IL 60430708-799-4110Reform

Chabad of Bucktown/WickerPark2134 N.WinchesterChicago, IL 60614

773-772-3770Orthodox

Chabad Jewish Center ofGurnee5101Washington St, Ste 32Gurnee, IL 60031847-782-1800Orthodox

Chabad Jewish Center ofNaperville1935 Brookdale Rd., 115Naperville, IL 60563630-344-9770Orthodox

Chicago Sinai Congregation15W. Delaware PlaceChicago, IL 60610312-867-7000Reform

Chicago Loop Synagogue16 S. Clark St.Chicago, Il 60603312-346-7370Traditional

Congregation Am Chai1515 Barrington RdHoffman Estates, IL 60169847-604-4060Conservative

Congregation Beit Haverim29 E. Highway 45 P.O Box 5309Vernon Hills, IL 60061847-955-1800Conservative

Congregation Beth Am1370 Abbott Ct.Buffalo Grove Il 60089847-459-1677Reform

Congregation Beth JudeaRoute 83 & Hilltop Rd., 5304 RfdLong Grove, IL 60047847-634-0777Conservative

Congregation Beth Shalom3433Walters Ave.Northbrook, IL 60062847-498-4100Conservative

Congregation Beth Shalom772W. 5th Ave.Naperville, IL 60563630-961-1818Egalitarian

Congregation B'nai Chai102 Adair CourtVernon Hills, IL 60061847-362-4226Nondenominational

Congregation B'naiJehoshua Beth Elohim1201Lake Cook Rd.Deerfield, IL 60015Reform

Congregation B'nai Shalomof Buffalo Grove701W. Aptakisic RoadBuffalo Grove, IL 60089847-415-1370Traditional

Congregation B'nai Tikvah1558Wilmot RoadDeerfield, IL 60015847-945-0470

Conservative

Congregation B'nai Torah2789 Oak St.Highland Park, IL 60035847-433-7100Reform

Congregation ETZ Chaim1710 S. Highland Ave.Lombard, IL 60148630-627-2912Reform

Congregation Ezras Israel7001 N. California Ave.Chicago, IL 60645773-764-8320Orthodox

Congregation HakafaP.O.Box 409Glencoe, IL 60022847-242-0687Reform

Congregation Kol Ami845 N. Michigan Ave., Ste 913 EChicago, IL 60611312-664-4775Reform

Congregation Kol Emeth5130W. Touhy Ave.Skokie, IL 60077847-673-3370Conservative

Congregation Or Shalom21 Hawthorn Pkwy.Vernon Hills, IL 60061847-362-1948Reform

Congregation Or Torah3800W. Dempster StreetSkokie, IL 60076847-679-3645Orthodox

Congregation Solel1301 Clavey RoadHighland Park, IL 60035847-433-3555Reform

Congregation SukkatShalom444 Skokie Blvd., #300Wilmette, IL 60091847-251-2675Reform

Congregation Tikkun OlamP.O. Box 280Crystal Lake, IL 60039815-334-7110Reform

Congregation Yehuda Moshe4721W. Touhy Ave.Lincolnwood, IL 60712847-673-5870Orthodox

Emanuel Congregation5959 N. Sheridan Rd.Chicago, IL 60660773-561-5173Reform

Ezra-Habonim, The NilesTownship JewishCongregation4500 Dempster St.Skokie, IL 60076847-675-4141Conservative

Jacob Duman JCC atWoodland Commons370 Halfday RoadBuffalo Grove, IL 60089847-955-0005JCC

Jewish ReconstructionistCongregation303 Dodge AvenueEvanston, IL 60202-3252847-328-7678Reconstructionist

KAM Isaiah IsraelCongregation1100 E. Hyde Park Blvd.Chicago IL 60615773-924-1234Reform

Kehilat Chovevei Tzion4000W. Church StreetSkokie, IL 60076847-410-2710Orthodox

Kehillat Shalom8610 Niles Center Rd.Skokie, IL 60077847-676-3093Conservative Egalitarian

Keshet RecreationalPrograms3210 Dundee Rd.Northbrook IL 847-412-5773Jewish Organization

Kol Hadash HumanisticCongregationP.O. Box 405Highland Park, IL 60035847-347-3003Nondenominational

Keshet RecreationalPrograms617 Landwehr Rd.,Northbrook, IL 60062(847) 205-1234Conservative

Lake Shore DriveSynagogue70 E. Elm StChicago, IL 60611312-337-6811Traditional

Lakeside Congregation forReform Judaism1221 County Line RoadHighland Park, IL 60035847-432-7950Reform

Lincolnwood JewishCongregation7117 N. Crawford Ave.Lincolnwood, IL 60712847-676-0491Traditional

Lubavitch Chabad ofGlenview2223 Cottonwood DriveGlenview IL 60026847-998-9896Orthodox

Lubavitch Chabad ofNorthbrook2095 Landwehr Rd.Northbrook, IL 60062847-564-8770Orthodox

Lubavitch Chabad of Skokie4059W. Dempster StreetSkokie, IL 60076847-677-1770Orthodox

Mchenry County JewishCongregation8617 Ridgefield RoadCrystal Lake, IL 60012815-455-1810Conservative

Moriah Congregation200 Taub DriveDeerfield, IL 60015847- 948-5340Conservative

North Suburban LubavitchChabad874 Central Ave.Highland Park, IL 60035847-433-1567Orthodox

North Suburban SynagogueBeth El1175 Sheridan Rd.Highland Park, IL 60035847-432-8900Conservative

Northbrook CommunitySynagogue Adas YehudaV'Shoshana2849 Dundee Road, Suite 192Northbrook, IL 60062847-509-9204Traditional

Northbrook CongregationEzra-Habonim2095 Landwehr Rd.Northbrook, IL 60062847- 480-1690Traditional

North Shore CongregationIsrael1185 Sheridan RoadGlencoe, IL 60022847-835-0724Reform

Northwest SuburbanChabad Lubavitch16296W. Aptakisic Rd.Prairie View, IL 60069847-808-7770Orthodox

Persian Iran HebrewCongregation3820W. Main StreetSkokie, IL 60076847-674-5444Orthodox

Sephardic Congregation1819W. Howard St.Evanston, IL 60202847-475-7707Orthodox

Shir HadashReconstructionistSynagogue3380 Commercial AvenueNorthbrook, IL 60062847-498-8218Reconstructionist

Skokie Central TraditionalCongregation4040 Main St.Skokie, IL 60076847-674-4117

Traditional

Skokie Valley AgudathJacob Synagogue8825 N. East Prairie Rd.Skokie, IL 60076847-674-3473Traditional

Tannenbaum ChabadHouse2014 Orrington Ave.Evanston, IL 60201847-869-8060Orthodox

Temple Beth Israel3601W. Dempster StreetSkokie, IL 60076847-675-0951Reform

Temple Beth-El3610W. Dundee Rd.Northbrook, IL 60062847-205-9982Reform

Temple Chai1670 RFD Checker RoadLong Grove, IL 60047847-537-1771Reform

Temple Jeremiah937 Happ RoadNorthfield, IL 60093847-441-5760Reform

Temple Judea Mizpah8610 Niles Center Rd.Skokie, IL 60077847-676-1566Reform

Temple Menorah2800West Sherwin AvenueChicago, IL 60645773-761-5700Reform

Temple Sholom of Chicago3480 N. Lake Shore Dr.Chicago, IL 60657773-525-4707Reform

The North Shore JewishCenter -Congregation OrSimchaWilmette Community Rec. Center3000 Glenview Rd. Room 200Wilmette, IL 60091847-410-2066Orthodox

Young Israel of Northbrook3545Walters Ave.Northbrook, IL 60062847-480-9462Orthodox

Young Israel of Skokie3740W. Dempster StreetSkokie, IL 60076847-329-0990Reform

Young Israel of West RogersPark2706W. Touhy Ave.Chicago, IL 60645Orthodox

Visit us online at www.milestonesmagazine.com

Music & Entertainment

music

&entertainm

ent39Chicagoland Edition

This section features DJs,Live Bands, Karaoke,Vocalists, Magicians,and Caricaturists. Youmay want to ask the followingquestions when hiring your DJor band:• Are you familiar with the

Bar/Bat Mitzvah routine andhave you done them before?

• Will you play songs/gamesusually seen at these events:i.e. hoola hoop, dance con-tests, chicken dance, hokeypokey?

• What type of music do youplay?

• Do you have a song list?• How long do you play and

how many breaks do youtake?

• What is the price, depositamount,and when is the balance due?

• Do you have references?

Visit us online at www.milestonesmagazine.comMusic & Entertainment40

• Alliyah - (plural, Alliyot) – Literallymeans“going up”to the Bimah to saythe blessings over the Torah Scroll.

• Bimah - The raised platform or pulpitin most Synagogues where the serviceis conducted.

• Chuppah -Wedding canopy that sig-nifies a home or shelter; literally means"that which covers or floats" inHebrew.

• D’var Torah - An explanation of theweekly Torah portion, or parasha.

• Haftarah - Readings from the biblicalbooks of the Prophets.

• Horah - Traditional circle dance. Thebride and groom, the Bar/Bat Mitzvahand their families are lifted up on achair during the dancing.

• Kashrut - The Jewish dietary laws. Ifprepared accordingly, food is certifiedKosher.

• Kiddushin - The betrothal ceremony -the first part of the wedding ceremony.

• Klezmer - Traditional Yiddish celebra-tory music.

• Mazel Tov! - Congratulations!

• Mikvah - Ritual bath for brides, andgrooms too.

• Mitzvah - An obligation of Jewishlife.

• Motzi - Blessing over the bread recit-ed before meals.

• Nisuin - Nuptial ceremony - the sec-ond part of the wedding ceremony.

• Parasha - The Torah portion of theweek. Also sometimes referred to asthe sedra.

• Simcha - A joyous event. Often usedto refer to a Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony,or other celebrations.

• Tallit - A prayer shawl.• Shabbat - Jewish Sabbath, beginning

Friday at sundown and endingSaturday at dusk.

• Sofer - A Hebrew scribe.• Torah - The word Torah means“teach-

ings.” Torah is also referred to as thefirst five books of the Bible or the fivebooks of Moses. Sometimes Torahmeans the whole Bible and everythingJews believe in.

• Tzedakah - Charity. The mitzvah ofsacred giving.

Hebrew 101Here are some commonly used terms that mayhelp you to better understand the event.

Bar and Bat Mitzvah themes today range from StarWars to "Elvis." These are certainly fun and exciting,but with the exception of "Uncle Sidney" doing themotzi, no one would have a clue that the real rea-son for the celebration is actually a Bar or BatMitzvah. However, you don’t have to abandon anyof your creative themes, while still adding touchesof “Jewishness”. To paraphrase the title of a popularbook on Bar Mitzvah’s…Don't Forget to Put G-d onthe Guest List!Here are some terrific “additions” to your theme: a centerpiece and basket of cannedgoods to be donated to tzedakah, or a back drop of TheWesternWall during your can-dle-lighting ceremony. Programs like The Amazing Bottle Dancers, (yes…they reallydance with bottles of wine atop their hats!) feature authentic Klezmer music, and bringwith them a sense of the old country, and even feature a Grand Entrance carrying in theBar Mitzvah boy high atop their shoulders, or the Bat Mitzvah girl in on a throne fit forQueen Esther!Some will ask, “How does that fit in with my son’s theme, for example of ‘Baseball’ ”? Theanswer is simple. When you have a Hora, are you going to be dancing to“Take Me OutTo The Ballgame”? Of course not, you’ll be dancing to Jewish music! Themes revolvearound decorations. You’ll find PLENTY of opportunities to involve something Jewish,and even meaningful, while still having a theme!Some have even discovered Jewish Themes, such as: Israel or Jewish Hero's, or some-thing quite extraordinary, a theme called… BAR MITZVAH. What a concept!There’s a sameness to most Bar and Bat Mitzvahs. Finally, here’s a chance to add some-thing so wonderful, so unique, your guests will appreciate and enjoy it! After all, a littletradition never hurt!

Adding Tradition:Too much ‘Bar’ and not enough ‘Mitzvah’isn't good for your Simcha!by Michael Pasternak, creator of THE AMAZING BOTTLEDANCERS (see ad page 39).

Image by: Debra Liberman Photography

41Chicagoland Edition

The Jewish calendar has many festivals, holi-days, and observances which are shared bythe entire community. Bar or Bat Mitzvahs,weddings and celebrations attending thebirth of a baby are also celebrated. These areall personal milestones in the lives of Jewishindividuals. Every festival has a special signifi-cance, which is accompanied by its own sto-ries, songs, music, activities, prayers, and letus not forget, foods.The Jewish year follows the 354-5 day lunarcalendar, as opposed to the 365-6 day solaryear, so while each Jewish festival falls onexactly the same date in each year of theJewish calendar, the dates will differ on aGregorian calendar. For synchronicity, andalso to keep the months in their appropriateseason, a thirteenth month is added to theJewish calendar every two or three years.Therefore, in the northern hemisphere, RoshHashanah will always be celebrated betweensummer and autumn, while Chanukkahalways welcomes winter and Pesach brings inthe spring, no matter how different the actualdates will be on Christian calendars.The Jewish holidays always begin at sun-down on the day before. The year of celebra-tions starts around the month of September,with the Jewish NewYear, Rosh Hashanah,and continues on through Yom Kippur, whichis marked nine days later. Sukkot, the harvestfestival of thanksgiving, follows, ending with

Simchat Torah. This is the great festival of theTorah. Then, around December comesChanukkah, the festival of lights. This is thetime of the year when traditionally gifts areexchanged. Tu b'Shevat, or the holiday of thetrees, comes next, around the month ofFebruary, and then is followed by Purim. Thisis the very flamboyant festival where peopledress in colorful costumes. This is often com-pared to the Mardi Gras Festivals orCarnivales.Pesach marks Israel's deliverance from Egypt.During this festival, which lasts for eight days,Jewish people eat certain foods and drinks,excluding those called "hametz". Shavuot cel-ebrates the Giving of the Torah, while Tish b'Avis a day of fasting.Many Jewish communities also observe YomHatsmaut, or Israeli Independence Day. Thisday is celebrated on May 14th with differentfestivities, including outdoor activities wherefalafel is eaten. Yom Ha Shoa, or theHolocaust Remembrance Day, is usuallyobserved not too long after Pesach. The mostimportant festival of them all however, is theSabbath or Shabbat. This festival is celebratedevery week, and forms the model of all theother holidays. This day is for not doing work,setting yourself free from all the hectic andhurriedness of the work week. This is a timewhen one concentrates on the spiritual,recognizes nature, and enjoys their families.

FESTIVALS, HOLIDAYS & OBSERVANCESBy Avi Mor, Garden Fresh Market

Many congregations allow, evenencourage, creation of a Bar/BatMitzvah booklet or program for theservice.This is compiled andproduced by the family for distributionto congregants and guests by the ush-ers, or inserted into prayer books. Itcan have a variety of unique featuresaimed at relatives and friends, guests,congregants, non-Jewish guests, andso on. Here are some examples:• A short description of the worship

service as conducted at your synagogue,• A brief explanation of themeaning of a

Bar/Bat Mitzvah, event or an essay by theBar/Bat Mitzvah on themeaning of theday to him/her,

• Poems or special readings,• A discussion of the current parasha,

orTorah portions,• A list or description of themitzvot

performed by the Bar/Bat Mitzvah,• Comments from close relatives,• Photographs of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah.

Be creative, but check with your Rabbi firstbefore making copies to distribute.

• Deborah Burman Carasso, of UniqueInvitations, (1-877-837-9122) explains

how a programwas used for a Havdalah/Hanukkah Bar Mitzvah:“[The program]explained to guests the order of theservice, the Haftarah portion, what itmeans, honors given, page numbers tofollow, explanations of the Mitzvah Project,what Hanukkah and Havdalah service isalong with what the spice bags are for,thanks to people who havemade this dayhappen...On the back had the directionsfor the dreidel game. It made non-Jewishguests feel muchmore comfortable nowthat they knewwhat was going on.”And itserves as a wonderful keepsake of thespecial day!

Bar/Bat Mitzvah Booklet

Photoby:Ro

myModlinPho

tograp

hy

JEWISH BASEBALL PLAYER MITZVAH PROJECTJewishBaseballPlayer.com isextending an invitation toanyone celebrating his orher B’nai Mitzvah to partnerwith us on their Mitzvahproject. These programs aretwo of the easiest and mostsignificant Mitzvah fundrais-ers available. These pro-grams can generate any-where from $500 to $10,000or more for your project.Not only will these pro-grams generate significantfunds for your chosencause, but the B’nai Mitzvahwill receive their ownrewards and pricelessmemories for choosing thisprogram.

Here’s what the B’naiMitzvah gets for doingeither/both projects:

• One miniature reprint ofour artwork, originally handsigned by one of the players• Induction with name per-manently inscribed on ourwebsite B’nai Mitzvah Hallof Fame• Notoriety as a Big Macherby making a big donation toyour cause of choice

Mitzvah Project #1: TheRaffle Program

We provide you with a full-sized MLB licensed reprintof the artwork valued at$600, plus 10 mini reprintsvalued at another $100. Youwill run the coolest raffleever. We will give youeverything you need to besuccessful, while leavingyou lots of free time to con-centrate on your Torah por-

tion. (We know we neededall the time we could get topractice ours.) Even thoughyou will be raffling off $700worth of stuff, you only use$450 of the raffle money topay for it. Your cause gets tokeep the rest!!

BONUS: If anyone sees yourraffle and buys our artwork,we will make an additionaldonation between $50-$250 to your cause!

*We also offer the opportu-nity to raffle off one of ourMLB authenticated, hand-signed pieces of artwork ifyou feel that you have theaudience to raffle off the$6,500 piece of artwork.

Mitzvah Project #2: TheEmail Program

Can you handle more than araffle, or want to try some-thing else instead? Ouremail program can be runwith the raffle program, orjust by itself. This is the easi-est fundraiser ever. Literally,all you need is to send out afew premade emails to yourfamily and friends informingthem of this awesome proj-ect with Jewish BaseballPlayers. As people see theemail and continue to for-ward the information on totheir contacts, your pot ofmoney for you cause willgrow.

For more information orquestions contactJewishbaseballplayer.comor by phone at 312-374-3394

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while supplies last,use code BM-16!

OTHER JEWISH EVENTS

January 31, 2016Congregation Beth ShalomNorthbrook Annual TexasHold´Em Tournament &Dinner,Prizes awarded $50 in advanceand $60 at the door. Tutorial startsat 4pm and tournament at 4:30-contact Synagogue office for moreinformation-847-498-4100 orwww.bethshalomnb.orgSunday, March 13, 2016Temple Chai´s DistinguishedSpeaker: Cliff Stein,11:15 a.m. Request info at:chaiguysbrotherhood@gmail.comSunday, March 20, 2016Temple Jeremiah-TempleJeremiah Purim CarnivalVisit www.templejeremiah.org formore information.Sunday, April 10, 2016Temple Chai´s Guys TexasHold´em Fundraiser5:00 p.m. Request Info at:Chaiguysbrotherhood@gmail.comMonday, April 25, 2016Temple Chai´s Guys Men´sSeder5:00 p.m. Request Info at:Chaiguysbrotherhood@gmail.comJune 27, 2016Congregation Beth ShalomNorthbrook Annual GolfOuting,1Contact Synagogue Office fordetails. 847-498-4100 orwww.bethshalomnb.org

LOX BOX SALESTemple Chai´sSuper Bowl Lox Box:Sunday, February 7, 2016,$28 Pickup at Temple Chai8:15am-9am or 10:30-11:15 ordelivery available - Limited Areas -Make Checks payable to TempleChai Sisterhood by Jan. 31, 2015Contact Daphne Plotsky atdaphne.loxbox@comcast.net orphone 847-438-8161 for moreinfo.The Aviva Club ofNA’AMAT USASaturday, March 5, 2016Each Box contains 8 OZ. of Lox,1/2 dozen bagels, juice, creamcheese, cake, onion, tomato,goodies and more for only $28!Deliver to north and northwestsuburbs. Orders due earlyFebruary 2016. Call Vicky at 847-229-9298.Congregation Beth ShalomMen´s Club Lox Box 2016Sunday Feb. 28, 2016D(Deadline February 20)- Deliveryto Chicgoland and Suburbs. $30.Donate a box to ARK and CJE orfamily and friends, if you don´twant one for yourself! For moreinformation contact SynagogueOffice at 847-498-4100 orwww.bethshalomnb.orgThe NA´AMAT USA ToladahClub Kosher Lox BoxSunday, April 3, 2016includes 6 bagels, 1/2 pound oflox, orange juice, onion, tomatoand dessert for family of four.Cost is $26.00. Delivery availableto Chicago and suburbs. ContactSue @773-761-1954 or emaillockguy13@aol.com

42 Visit us online at www.milestonesmagazine.com

PartyPo

inter Stay Connected!

Keep the office, and especially cell phone numbershandy on the day of the event for caterers, partyplanners, entertainers, photographers, etc.If something goes wrong, or you have alast minute change or request, you caneasily contact your vendors.

Butterfields Pancake House & Restaurant4195 Dundee Rd., Northbrook, IL

847-205-2588www.butterfieldsrestaurant.comButterfields Restaurant...where breakfast is anall day affair! Breakfast/lunch specialties andcatering available. Come and pick up a copy ofB´nai Mitzvah and JewishWedding Magazine!

Dorflers Meat Market &Catering by Dorfler´s

1181 McHenry Rd., Buffalo Grove, IL847-459-3060

www.dorflersmeats.comServing the Community with quality meats and cateringsince 1978. Catering for Bar/Bat Mitzvahs,Weddings,Holidays, Corporate Events and more. Now offering in-home catering. Set-up/cook/clean up...while you enjoy

your guests!

Go Roma Real Easy Italian3061 Dundee Rd., Northbrook IL

847-480-2000www.goroma.net

Go Roma provides Authentic Italian Cuisineprepared fresh, using high quality ingredients.Our catering items include specialty pasta's,Flat bread pizza's and a variety of gourmetsoups, salads and sandwiches. Let us cateryour special event, delivering Homemade

Italian food for fine dining tastes.

Once Upon a Bagel1888 1st St., Highland Park IL

847-433-1411www.onceuponabagel.com

The affordable catering choice for any event! Let our partyplanners set the scene for your next special event.

Hub's Restaurant3727 W. Dempster, Skokie, IL

847-677-7695www.hubsrestaurant.com

Hubs-just a family business where quality counts since1976. Serving the Community and providing catering for

all off your special occasions.

Kaufman´s Bagel & Delicatessen4905 W. Dempster, Skokie, IL

847-677-6190www.kaufmansdeli.com

With recipes passed down through generations, Kaufman´skeeps those OldWorld recipes alive and well both on thedeli counter and in the freezer. Only at Kaufman’s will youfind 4 different cuts of corned beef, 5 agings of salamis anda mere 6 different types of lox & smoked salmons.We putthe ´Deli´ in Delicious! Shipping anywhere, anytime!

Max & Benny’s Restaurant, Deli,Bakery & Catering

461 Waukegan Rd. , Northbrook, IL847-272-9490

www.MaxandBennys.comWith over 25 years of providing high quality foods, Max &Benny's is the perfect choice for your next social or office

gathering, whether it's at our Place... or yours.

Original Bagel & Bialy Bakery,Deli & Restaurant

105 McHenry (Grove Shopping Center)Buffalo Grove , IL847-808-0100

www.originalbagelandbialy.comLet us prepare your ´SimchaTrays´. Meat, fish, mini sand-wiches, dinners and bagel trays, Homemade soups, salads,bagels, corned beef and baked goods made fresh each day.

Celebrating our 6th anniversary.

Shalom Kosher Bakery1165 N. Arlington Heights Rd.,

Buffalo Grove, IL847-808-9300

We offer an assortment challahs and baked goods. Orderstaken for Mitzvahs, weddings and holidays.

Poochie´s Catering and Events3832 Dempster St. Skokie , IL

847-673-0100Treat your guests to a Chicagoland classic, Poochie's!

Kosher Style, Vienna Hot Dogs, Burgers, Fresh Cut FrenchFries, Grilled Salami Appetizers and more. Available for

pre-post Mitzvah celebrations, weddings, bache-lor/bachelorette parties, showers and more. Always pre-

pared fresh and on-site.

Schmaltz Classic Jewish Delicatessen1512 N Naper Blvd., Naperville, IL

630-839-9433www.schmaltzdeli.com

Catering in a Classic Jewish Delicatessen way! Treat yourguests to Overstuffed sandwiches, deli platters, hot meals,

buffets, bagels and hot breakfast catering.We will cater to allyour Bar/Bat Mitzvah,Wedding or private event needs!

The Bagel RestaurantWestfield Old Orchard, 50 Old OrchardShopping Center, Skokie, IL 60077

(847) 677-0100Online Orders, Delivery, Healthy Food, Pick Up

Skokie location offers full bar service and private room.

Once Upon a Grill2758 Dundee Rd. Northbrook Il

847-433-1411A traditional, local Deli experience!

Visit us online at www.milestonesmagazine.com

guestcare/seniorcare

services

Guest Care / Senior Care Services44

Personal services are essential to planning asuccessful event, from photographers andcaterers, to hair and makeup to event plannersand day-of security assistance. Considerservices that care for your youngest and old-est guests. Child care services, combined withalternate entertainment, can keep theyoungest kids safe and occupied while theirparents enjoy the celebration. Likewise, seniorcare services at your event can provide assis-tance with guests who need extra help, makingyour event less challenging to attend for yourguests, and providing you peace of mind.

Stay Involved: After the Bar/Bat MitzvahOr Tzedek, the Jewish teeninstitute for social justiceWe’re expanding to a two week, overnightteen program. Meet Chicagoland teenspassionate about social justice and createchange in Chicago´s diverse communitieswith leaders on the forefront of activismand organizing. There will be two excitingActivism sessions during Summer 2016:for first time and returning participants.For more information contact. Rebecca@jcua.org or 312-663-0960 ext 124.BBYO Connectoffers 6th-8th grade teens a variety ofexperiences to provide middle school stu-dents with a positive experience in whichthey can get together with camp, school,and synagogue friends, as well as meetnew teens from all over the Chicagolandarea. BBYO Connect allows middle schoolstudents to begin experiencing the privi-leges and obligations of being a memberof the Jewish and general communities.Focused on Judaic, service and social pro-gramming, our programs build a networkof teens across North America at a criticalage when middle school students begin tostrengthen their identities, form social cir-cles, and prepare for high school and

beyond. For more information please con-tact gmr@bbyo.org or 224-406-9261.BBYO is the leading pluralistic teenmovement aspiring to involve more Jewishteens in more meaningful Jewish experi-ences. BBYO in Chicagoland offers pro-gramming for more than 1400 Jewishteens built around friends, athletics, lead-ership, community service and Judaism.BBYO is a teen led movement whichallows the participants to guide the move-ment and help construct the Jewish futurewhile making lifelong friends and memo-ries. For more information please contactgmr@bbyo.org or 224-406-9261.

Teen Programs at the JCCChi Town ConnectionJCC's extraordinary year-round program forteens. There’s nothing like it. It’s not yourtypical youth group.What you’ll love about Chi TownConnection is that you can be as involvedas you’d like. Be part of the advisory boardand help plan CTC events. Or just show upwhen you want. You pick the activities thatinterest you.Connect with CTC and we’ll connect youwith cool people, great experiences andyour Jewish community. Everyone is invit-

ed. All you need to do is show up. Call formore information at 847-412-5570.Mitzvah Corps (Gr. 6-12)Mitzvah Corps is a community service pro-gram developed by the Jewish CommunityCenters of Chicago. The purpose of the pro-gram is to give middle school and highschool students an opportunity to con-tribute to the local community, gain newexperiences, and meet new friends.All Mitzvah Corps programs are designedto get kids involved in hands-on activitiesthat contribute to the overall welfare of thecommunity. The activity could be servingfood at a homeless shelter, cleaning up apark, reading books to children or visitingwith the elderly. Activities vary dependingon the project, but we guarantee everyonewill have a great time and feel good abouttheir contributions.Camp Chi Teen AdventuresHike a canyon. Bike a mountain. SeeAmerica and beyond. Camp Chi summeradventures put your body and mind intotal discovery mode.You'll experience some of the most majes-tic, historic and entertaining spots inAmerica, Canada and Israel.Whether arugged adventure or a sightseeing tour,

Camp Chi teen trips offer incredible oppor-tunities to build friendships, discover lead-ership skills and learn to work and live aspart of a community of peers.Camp Chi Teen Adventures are led by astaff of specialists who are experts inwilderness adventure.For the summer of a lifetime, call847.272.2301. Interviews are required forall trips. Visit www.campchi.com for moreinformation!JCC Maccabi GamesEach year, JCC Maccabi Chicago fields adelegation of teens ages 13-16 to competein the annual JCC Maccabi Games. ThisOlympic-style competition brings togethermore than 6,000 Jewish teens from aroundthe world to compete in various individualand team sports including baseball, soft-ball, basketball, bowling, golf, in-linehockey, table tennis, soccer, swimming,track and field, tennis and volleyball. JCCMaccabi Chicago is a fantastic opportunityfor teen athletes to take their game to thenext level, meet new friends, and enjoy aonce-in-a-lifetime experience. For moreinformation about the JCC Maccabi Games,please visit our website atwww.jccmaccabi.org.

45Chicagoland Edition

Before the ServiceIn the invitation, ask people to bring clothes, cannedfood, sports equipment, all the loose change they have,baby items, etc. to the reception or service, which wouldbe taken to an organization afterwards.Include an envelope addressed to a charity. With this,your guests could send money to that charity, instead ofor to supplement giving a gift to you.Send food to a less fortunate family for a holiday such asPassover, Purim, Rosh Hashanah, etc. through an agencywhich will locate a family and give it your food.The Points of Light webpage (www.pointsoflight.org)shows where volunteer centers all over the US are, whereyou could volunteer for various community service projects.At the ServiceDonate the bimah flowers used during your service toshelters, hospitals, or other local groups where flowerswould make them much happier. You can invite Jewishelderly people from local retirement homes to come andenjoy your service.

During the ReceptionInstead of flower centerpieces, you can do several things.Contribute the saved money to Tzedakah. Make a center-piece out of books, and donate them to organizationssuch as Headstart. Use baskets with cans of food, whichare to be later donated to an agency or shelter to begiven to the hungry. Find a way to arrange gloves, hats,and mittens into centerpieces which look like flowers,and then donate them.Hold a Tzedakah fair, where each table represents a dif-ferent charity, with information on the charities and waysto contribute. For information on Tzedakah fairs, contactbigabba@aol.com.Instead of a party for your friends, or after your party, youand your friends could go and provide services to yourcommunity. Help repaint an older synagogue. Entertainpeople in retirement homes, disabled children, or sickpeople in hospitals. Make it a fun group event.After the Bar/Bat MitzvahTour the local Tzedakah agencies, shelters, and other

charities. After the reception, you could give some of yourgift money to these organizations as you see fit.Find out about specialized charities by going to the ZivTzedakah Fund (www.ziv.org) or the Charitable Choicesweb site (charitychoices.com).You could organize a program for your synagogue whichallows the synagogue to give a Tzedakah box to eachBar/Bat Mitzvah reminding them to continue givingTzedakah even though they are not in Hebrew schoolanymore.Making Mitzvot Part of Your Bar/Bat MitzvahLooking for a mitzvah project, but don´t know where tostart? Volunteerism comes in many different forms -whether you choose to give your time, raise money, orhost a collection drive, your project can, and will, make adifference in your community. TOV´s B´nai MitzvahTikkun OlamManual will guide you towards findingthe right fit. For more information, emailBnaiMitzvah@juf.org.

Mitzvah Project Resources

We just received our child’s Bar/Bat Mitzvahdate, what is the first thing we should do?After speaking with your B’nai Mitzvah committee chair or coordinator aboutSynagogue rules, or consulting written policies and guidelines, discuss with yourfamily the type of party everyone wants and what the budget will allow. Then startlooking at photographers and the hall. These two services seem to need more time tosecure. Check the Planning Time Table on the inside back cover.How much will we, as parents, be asked to participate on the Bimahduring the service?This question will have to be answered by your Rabbi or Synagogue staff. Dependingon the Synagogue, some parents will make a speech, bless their child, or participatein the service. This is truly an honor and a pleasure–don’t let stage fright ruin thisprecious moment.Should we choose an evening affair or an afternoon kiddish lunch-eon?Certainly, this will be a topic of discussion for the entire family. Often the choice hasto do with how many out-of-town relatives you expect, the amount of money youwant to spend, the size of the affair, and many other variables. Generally, it is moreexpensive to have an evening simcha, but an evening affair lends itself to a more for-mal atmosphere. You may want to offer a kiddish luncheon after the service for yourguests or the entire congregation. In some synagogues, sponsoring a Kiddush lunch-eon and/or an Oneg Shabbat on Friday evening is expected. So, afternoon andevening events are not mutually exclusive, you could have both. Your family shoulddiscuss what type of public event you want to sponsor and what role food will playin that event.How can we make our non-Jewish friends feel more comfortable atmy Bar/Bat Mitzvah service?You may want to explain the service to them ahead of time. Rules regarding properetiquette vary by synagogue, so ask staff or your Rabbi for Synagogue rules or poli-cies. In some places kippot are required to be worn by all male visitors, for instance.You could explain that this does not make your guests Jewish, it is a sign of respect.Check with your Rabbi to be sure. See the feature on Bar/Bat Mitzvah Booklet onpage 41. Also consult Jeffrey Salkin’s Putting G-d on the Guest List, which has anentire section on this subject, or How To Be A Perfect Stranger: The Essential ReligiousHandbook, by ArthurMagida, both for sale onwww.milestonesmagazine.com.What type of gift is appropriate for the Bar/Bat Mitzvah child?

If your child is attending their friend’s affair, generally acheck in the amount of $36 (double Chai) is a nice gift (or a multiple of Chai - $18.),depending on how close the friendship. Some families offer checks, tributes, dona-tions, or purchase presents, again depending on whether it is a relative or friend,closeness of the two families, or how many people are attending from your family.Religious items, such as menorahs are also nice gifts.What is the appropriate attire to wear to a Bar/Bat Mitzvah?At the Synagogue, wear whatever you would wear to a typical service. Some familiesbuy new clothing for the occasion. Remember to dress with appropriate respect forthe house of worship you attend.If you have a simcha at night or the next day, dress according to the theme, place andtenor of the affair. Remember to instruct guests in the invitations if you have specialdress requirements.To what extent can members of other religious groups participate inthe Bar/Bat Mitzvah?Typically, non-Jews can participate by simply attending, observing, and following theservice. If relatives or close friends are not Jewish, they are sometimes affordednon-ritual honors. If you are concerned about involving a relative or close friend whois not Jewish, consult with your rabbi to find out what might be possible.If we can have a Bar Mitzvah on a Saturday, why can't we get mar-ried on Saturday?Well, you can, but after sunset, when Shabbat is officially over. The issue isn'tSaturday, it is Shabbat (Friday sunset to Saturday sunset).B'nai Mitzvot are celebrations conducted as part of regular services when the Torah isread aloud (Saturday morning). Jewish tradition recognizes that the Thirteen-year-old becomes a Bar/Bat Mitzvah independent of any celebration. The congregation ispart of the ceremony: a young person takes full responsibility for their own religiousobligations, starting with an alliyah for the reading of Torah, reciting the Sh'ma, lead-ing the congregation in prayer, and presentation of D'var Torah. This coming of age isshared by the Jewish community and is therefore a public event. One that typicallyoccurs on Saturday, but can also occur on other days when the Torah is read.Weddings are private affairs that do not typically involve an entire congregation. Andin contrast to the happy, celebratory nature of a wedding, Shabbat is a time for quietreflection and for rest. A wedding is work, and it involves a legal contract, themes notsuited for Shabbat. It is therefore rare to find a Rabbi who will marry a couple onShabbat. Saturday after dark is OK, but Sunday is by far the most popular day forJewish weddings, especially during the Summer when dusk on Saturday is so late.

Frequently Asked Questions

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photography&videography

Photography & Videography46

Photography and more recently videographyis used to capture the joy, the charm, andthe magic of the event. Whether a portraitartist, photojournalist, mood recorder orstoryteller, your professional photographerand videographer should understand youand what you want to capture and rememberof the Bar/Bat Mitzvah.

Do you have references?Ask for names of previous clients and to seea portfolio and/or sample albums or tapes.Be sure to call these references for theircomments.What is your backgroundand experience?Make sure they have recorded B’naiMitzvahs before. Experience often makes adifference in the end product, but it cancost more as well.Do you have an assistant?What is his/her experience? Many experi-enced professionals use assistants for light-ing and backup equipment.What is the cost for your serv-ices?It is best to research prices by receiving sev-eral price quotes from other photographersand videographers. But the least expensiveis not always the best. Ask photographershow many photos will be taken, will can-dids and tables be taken (if these areimportant to you), number of hours takingpictures, are proofs and/or negativesoffered for you to keep, are packages avail-able? Some synagogues only allowbimah/Torah photos hours or days beforethe event–can this be accommodated?Likewise, videography is often sold in pack-ages and may include simple music and

editing, or may include visual effects, photomontages, guest interviews, professionaltitles and headings, and more! Price is oftena function of experience, technology, andthe features and complexity you needand want.What lighting will be required?Different cameras, ambient room lighting,moods, and portraiture all require differentlighting. If lighting equipment is necessary,know this up front to assure that it does notbecome obtrusive to congregants, guests,and staff.A Digital Memory:The latest technology is digital photogra-phy and videography. Because it is relative-ly new, both traditional and digital equip-ment is currently in use, sometimes side-by-side. Satisfactory results are available instandard and digital photography–ask thephotographer to explain – but the endresult should be clear, crisp images in thesizes you want. Digital video can easily bedelivered on a DVD, and if this suits you, itcan be a welcome addition to yourcollection. But if you play video on a VCR,you can have great results from eithervideo format.And don’t forget...It is very important thatyou communicate well with the photogra-pher/ videographer and that his/her atti-tude and personality is in sync with yours.

Some Questions to Ask WhenChoosing a Photographerand/or Videographer...

Photography & Videography 47Chicagoland Edition

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Transportation

transportation49Chicagoland Edition

Limousines are traditionally used to transport thewedding couple in style to and from synagogueand reception hall. Vans, limousines, shuttle buses,and other transportation services may be used totransport out-of-town guests to and from theairport and reception hall. Families also use theseservices to transport the Bar/Bat Mitzvah child andfriends to and from the reception hall. Limousinesand Bus Services also help reduce carbonemissions and stay eco-friendly by reducing thenumber of guest who drive separately.

All Aboard! Limousine & Bus OptionsThink of the last time your youngster was invited to a Bar or BatMitzvah without his/ her parents. Fun for the kids, a shlep for the par-ents. To Synagogue in the morning. Pick them up at 1:00 PM, takethem to a hall or restaurant. Pick them up at 6:00 PM or even later. Youcan save other parents the miles and keep the Bar/Bat Mitzvah togeth-er with friends by hiring a bus, mini-bus, or limo to ferry the gangfrom the synagogue to reception and back to the synagogue for pick-up. Everyone’s safe, and there are no late arrivals!Another great idea is to hire achaperone to accompany thekids, and perhaps stay for the restof the party to help out. It can bea great help and a tremendousstress saver!

Simcha

Tip!

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directoryof

resources

Directory Of Resources50

Banquet Facilities,Hotels & RestaurantsAdler Planetarium1300 South Lake Shore DriveChicago, IL312-542-2428www.AdlerPlanetarium.org/milestones(see our display ad, page 10)Celebrate your Bar/Bat Mitzvah or jewishwedding under the stars at the AdlerPlanetarium. Award-winning skylineviews and a stylish setting will makeyour event out of this world.Athletico Center1900 Old Willow RoadNorthbrook, IL224-326-2061www.athleticocenter.com(see our display ad, page 9)Conveniently located on Chicago’s NorthShore, this 96,000 square foot sports andevents complex features adaptable spacewith flexible terms for a variety ofinteractive events.Bella Via Ristorante & Banquets1899 Second St.Highland Park, IL847-681-8300www.BellaViaHighlandPark.com(see our display ad, page 2)Host your next event at Bella Via.We willprovide superior service for your Bar/BatMitzvahs,Weddings, Rehearsal Dinners,Wedding Showers and more. A popularregional Italian Restaurant located inHighland Park. Our elegant banquetroom seats up to 100 and accommodatesup to 150 for cocktails.Catalyst Ranch656 W. Randolph St. # 3WChicago, IL312-207-1710www.CatalystRanchEvents.com(see our display ad, page 11)With a creative environment, your eventcan be a celebration that leaves a lastingimpression. The colorful ambiance willinfuse your event with life and a jovialspirit.Crystal Ballroom & Lounge529 Davis St.Evanston, IL847-570-4400www.crystalevanston.com(see our display ad, page 17)The newly renovated Crystal Ballroom &Lounge features a breathtaking, state-of-the-art 2 story ballroom, adjoiningcocktail lounge, and multiplepre-function areas.Embassy Suites by HiltonChicago North Shore Deerfield1445 Lake Cook RoadDeerfield, IL847-597-2750www.chicagonorthshoredeerfield.embasysuites.com(see our display ad, page 12)A full service hotel focused on intimategatherings. Offering 2 room suites withmade-to-order breakfast andcomplimentary evening reception every

night for all registered hotel guests.Hampton Inn & SuitesChicago North Shore5201 Old Orchard Rd.Skokie, IL847-583-1111 or 1-800-HAMPTONwww.northshoresuites.hamptoninn.com(see our display ad, page 13)Just minutes from theWindy City, treatyour out of town guests to North Shore'sfreshest hotel. Newly remodeled in 2010,the Hampton Inn & Suites has main-tained its #1 ranking on TripAdvisor'sPopularity Index for Skokie hotels.Experience a new definition of hospitali-ty; choose the Hampton Inn & Suites foryour future family event. Stop by today &ask about our discounts for weddingand/or Bar/Bat Mitzvah group rooms.With all the added amenities included,we guarantee to provide the best value inthe North Shore.Hard Rock Cafe Chicago63 W. Ontario St.(Corner of Clark and Ontario)Chicago, IL312-943-2252 or 312-943-5572www.hardrock.com/chicago(see our display ad, page 5)Hard Rock Cafe hosts special events up to700 guests amidst authentic rock n’ rollmemorabilia and state-of-the-art A/Vequipment. Banquet packages available.Heartfelt Catering312-489-3876www.heartfeltcateringchicago.com(see our display ad, page 22)We are a full service catering companyspecializing in healthy cuisine made withthe freshest ingredients.We will create amemorable experience that you and yourguests will love!Highland Park Country Club1201 Park Ave. WestHighland Park, IL847-432-8048www.highlandparkcc.com(see our display ad, page 12)Celebrating over 50 years of memorableevents! Plan your next Mitzvah orWedding in a gorgeous Country Clubsetting with breathtaking views over-looking our expansive golf course.JCC PerlsteinResort & Conference CenterLake Delton, WI847-763-3555www.perlsteinresort.com(see our display ad, page 14)Invite your guests to enjoy our relaxingatmosphere, located on scenic lake BlassnearWisconsin Dells. Ideal for Bar/BatMitzvahs, weddings, family reunions ororganization retreats. Customize yourevent to make it your own.Lakeview Banquet Rooms2400 Chestnut Ave.Glenview, IL224-521-2562www.GlenviewParks.org(see our display ad, page 20)Make Lakeview Banquet Rooms at Park

Center the celebration destination forBar/Bat Mitzvahs,Weddings and SpecialEvents. You pick the date, we'll take careof the details! Ask about adding SplashLandings Aquatics Complex or one of ourfour gym facilities to your banquet reser-vations for a truly memorable occasion.Parties & Special Eventsby Lettuce Entertain YouOver 30 Locations ServingChicagoland312-527-9222www.Lettuceparties.com(see our display ad, Back Cover)Let our team of event professionals guideyou through every phase of the planningprocess, including venue selection, budg-ets, menus, floral, entertainment & morefor all of your Bar/Bat Mitzvahs,Weddings and any other specialoccasions.We pride ourselves inproviding responsive, creative and flexibleservice.Libertyville Sports Complex1950 N. US Hwy. 45Libertyville, IL847-367-3006 or 847-367-1502www.LibertyvilleSportsComplex.com(see our display ad, page 14)With over 160,000 square feet of indoorspace, we can accommodate any sizeMitzvah celebration or Special Event.We’ve got the floor space to help youcreate any event, and also include indoorsoccer, basketball, Giant Inflatables,Climbing Mountain and our conferencerooms into the entertainment package.Host the most spectacular andimaginative Mitzvah ever!!Maggiano's Little Italy6 Locations:1901 E. Woodfield Rd.,Schaumburg, IL847-240-1600

516 N. Clark St., Chicago, IL312-644-4284

4999 Old Orchard Center,Skokie, IL847-933-9572

240 Oakbrook Center, Oakbrook, IL630-368-0314

1847 Freedom Dr., Naperville, IL630-536-2280

307 Hawthorne Center, VernonHills, IL847-918-0380

maggianos.com/en/Pages/Banquets.aspx(see our display ad, page 4)Maggiano's is the perfect venue to hostyour Bar/Bat Mitzvahs,Wedding events,engagement parties, bridal showers,rehearsal dinners, receptions or day-afterbrunches.Orbit Skate Center615 S Consumers Ave.Palatine, IL847-394-9199www.orbitskate.net(see our display ad, page 15)Orbit Skate Center is a unique venue forbar and bat mitzvah celebrations.Catering, DJs, and affordable packagesavailable.

The Palmer House Hilton17 East Monroe StreetChicago, IL312-422-1325www.PalmerHouseHiltonHotel.com(see our display ad, page 3)Be a part of Chicago history! For morethan a century the Palmer House hashosted events that are hip, historic andunforgettable.Pinstripes1150 Willow Rd.Northbrook, IL847-480-7676www.pinstripes.com(see our display ad, page 9)Pinstripes features a distinctive entertain-ment and event venue. Celebrate"Sophisticated Fun" in our warm andinviting 45,000 sq.ft. indoor/outdoorfacility. Complete with 18 bowling lanes,6 Bocce Courts, exceptional Italian-American Bistro &Wine Cellar. OutdoorPatio/fireplace & beautifully appointedevent and party rooms that can accom-modate groups from 20-600.Northbrook,Oakbrook, South Barrington andDowntown Chicago Locations.Viper Alley275 Parkway Dr.Lincolnshire, IL847-499-5011www.viper-alley.com(see our display ad, page 17)Viper Alley is a revolutionary, Immersiveexperience and entertainment venue. It’syour North Shore boutique concert venuefor live music, nightlife and privateevents.We bring you three distinctexperiences in one venue.The Westin Chicago North Shore601 N. Milwaukee Ave.Wheeling, IL847-777-6560www.WestinNorthShore.com(see our display ad, inside frontcover)TheWestin North Shore has the largestballroom on the North Shore and able toaccommodate events for up to 1000. FullKosher Kitchen. Downtown style andelegance with a suburban location.WhirlyBall1825 West Webster, Chicago, IL773-486-7777

285 Center Drive, Vernon Hills, IL847-918-0800

800 East Roosevelt Road,Lombard, IL630-932-4800

www.whirlyball.com(see our display ad, page 16)Host the event of a lifetime with anamazingly delectable dinner & desserts,hand-crafted cocktails,Whirlyball,lasertag, climbing wall, and now bowl-ing at our brilliant new downtownChicago location.

Directory Of Resources 51Chicagoland Edition

Beauty, Hair, MakeupStefanie Lynn Makeup ArtistServing Chicagoland and SuburbsOn Location!847-903-0564(see our display ad, page 18)Serving Chicagoland and suburbs. Onlocation make-up artist for the naturallook or movie look, whichever you prefer,for your Mitzvah orWedding. Certifiedand experienced artist for over 4+ years!I will work with you to get the look youdesire!

Cakes & PastriesChicago Chocolate FountainHillside, IL708-544-5600www.chicagochocolatefountain.com(see our display ad, page 19)Treat your guests to the ultimateChocolate experiences; the Chocolatefountain. Take your event to the next levelwith a chocolate, caramel, or cheesefountain. They will enjoy dipping freshfruit and pastries into a fountain of fon-due fun. Colored chocolate is alsoavailable.Innovative Indulgences Cookie Co.224-661-3125www.iicookies.com(see our display ad, page 19)A full service event stand, servingdelicious warm cookies topped with icecream, hot fudge, warm caramel, andover a dozen other toppings. Add theperfect sweet touch to your next event!

CateringAlcohol Party CateringServing Chicagoland and Suburbs815-873-0405 or 1-800-232-7631www.AlcoholPartyCatering.com(see our display ad, page 21)Alcohol Party Catering is a licensed andinsured, full service, beverage cateringcompany, equipped to accommodate anytype or size event throughout Illinois.Alcohol Party Catering is the bar-tendinganswer for your private party, wedding,corporate event, office party, Bar/BatMitzvah or celebration of any kind.Bella Via Ristorante & Banquets1899 Second St.Highland Park, IL847-681-8300www.BellaViaHighlandPark.com(see our display ad, page 2)Host your next event at Bella Via.We willprovide superior service for your Bar/BatMitzvahs,Weddings, Rehearsal Dinners,Wedding Showers and more. A popularregional Italian Restaurant located inHighland Park. Our elegant banquet roomseats up to 100 and accommodates up to150 for cocktails.

Catered by Design9204 Waukegan RoadMorton Grove, IL847-965-4094www.cateredbydesign.com(see our display ad, page 20)Catered by Design brings your events tolife with delicious and sumptuous food,presented in a spectacular fashion by thefriendliest and most professional staff inChicago!Chicago Chocolate FountainHillside, IL708-544-5600www.chicagochocolatefountain.com(see our display ad, page 19)Treat your guests to the ultimateChocolate experiences; the Chocolatefountain. Take your event to the next levelwith a chocolate, caramel, or cheesefountain. They will enjoy dipping freshfruit and pastries into a fountain of fon-due fun. Colored chocolate is alsoavailable.Embassy Suites Chicago- NorthShore1445 Lake Cook RoadDeerfield, IL847-945-4500www.embassysuitesdeerfield.com(see our display ad, page 12)The Embassy Suites Hotel's flexible eventspace serves as the perfect venue for allof the events surrounding your specialday. The stunning sky-lit atrium is theperfect location for an elegant weddingreception of up to 300 guests or for amemorable Bar/Bat Mitzvah, bridalshower or rehearsal dinner. Our Ballroomis the perfect place to celebrate anyspecial event. All 237 suites feature aseparate parlor area with enough spaceto spread out and enjoy. Start your daywith a free cooked to order breakfast orstop by our complimentary eveningreception.Heartfelt Catering312-489-3876www.heartfeltcateringchicago.com(see our display ad, page 22)We are a full service catering companyspecializing in healthy cuisine made withthe freshest ingredients.We will create amemorable experience that you and yourguests will love!Parties & Special Eventsby Lettuce Entertain YouOver 30 Locations ServingChicagoland312-527-9222www.Lettuceparties.com(see our display ad, Back Cover)Let our team of event professionals guideyou through every phase of the planningprocess, including venue selection, budg-ets, menus, floral, entertainment & morefor all of your Bar/Bat Mitzvahs,Weddings and any other specialoccasions.We pride ourselves inproviding responsive, creative and flexibleservice.

The Westin Chicago North Shore601 N. Milwaukee Ave.Wheeling, IL847-777-6560www.WestinNorthShore.com(see our display ad, inside frontcover)TheWestin North Shore has the largestballroom on the North Shore and able toaccommodate events for up to 1000. FullKosher Kitchen. Downtown style andelegance with a suburban location.

ClothingGuys and Co.827 N. Waukegan Rd.Deerfield, IL847-940- GUYS (4897)www.guysandco.com(see our display ad, page 25)Guys and Co. full service boy’s and youngmen’s clothing store specializing inMitzvah clothing such as suits, sportscoats, dress pants and shirts along withfurnishings. Sizes 8-22, 36-44.Robin Elliott’s LTD SpecialOccasions6740 W. Dempster St.Morton Grove, IL847-470-9400www.RobinElliottofChicago.com(see our display ad, page 24)Large selection of Bat Mitzvah dresses.Mothers of the Bar/Bat Mitzvahs andBride-Groom–prom, pageant and acces-sories. Dresses available for OrthodoxWomen too!

Decorations, Florists& Theme DesignAll Occasions BalloonsServing Chicagoland and Suburbs630-690-1144www.UpWithBalloons.com(see our display ad, page 35)It's your party, make it a good one!Balloon decor for Bar/Bat MItzvahs,Weddings and any party in-between.Arches, canopies and event decor withballoons are our specialty. Delivery toChicagoland and suburbs.Liz Lee Flowers1306 S. Milwaukee Ave.Vernon Hills, ILwww.lizleeflowers.com(see our display ad, page 34)We are Chicagoland’s expert floraldesigner. For all your Mitzvahs, wed-dings, sweet 16s, private events andmilestones to celebrate. Let us create yourvision with creativity and passion!Sign-A-Rama352 Lexington Dr.Buffalo Grove, IL847-215-1535www.bgsignarama.com(see our display ad, page 35)Custom Banners, Posters, Sign-In Boardsfor your Mitzvahs,Weddings, Sweet 16’s,Fundraisers and other special events.Wewill work with you to help customizeyour event and theme!

Invitations &CalligraphyKaren Saharack Calligraphy &Design876 Saybrook LaneBuffalo Grove, IL847-634-9221www.karensinvitations.com(see our display ad, page 36)For over 20 years, Karen Saharack hascustom-designed & created hand-painted invitations and calligraphy forMitzvahs, weddings, birthdays &corporate parties. All with personalservice.

Music &EntertainmentBANDS & DJSMedia Mix Entertainment4651 N. Milwaukee Ave.Chicago, IL312-804-0963 or 1-800-698-1949www.mixmediaentertainment.com(see our display ad, page 40)Successful event specialists since 1987.Planning, design production, DJs, bands,still and motion photography, eventlighting, AV display, photo booths andmore!Personalities, Inc.3328 Commercial Ave.Northbrook, IL847-A-PARTY-2 (847-272-7892)www.personalitiesinc.com(see our display ad, page 1)DJ's, MC's, & Dancers providing interac-tiveentertainment for all ages. Perfect forMitzvahs, weddings, birthdays, corporate& more.We also offer Karaoke, Custom CDGiveaways, Game Shows & MusicVideoParties.OTHER ENTERTAINMENT

Amazing Bottle Dancers800-716-0556www.bottledancers.com(see our display ad, page 39)The ULTIMATE addition to everythingyou're planning. Isn't the success of yourevent worth a few minutes to see ouramazing video and website? See whyeveryone is raving!Hard Rock Cafe Chicago63 W. Ontario St.(Corner of Clark and Ontario)Chicago, IL312-943-2252 or 312-943-5572www.hardrock.com/chicago(see our display ad, page 5)Hard Rock Cafe hosts special events up to700 guests amidst authentic rock n’ rollmemorabilia and state-of-the-art A/Vequipment. Banquet packages available.

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Visit us online at www.milestonemagazine.comDirectory Of Resources52

Orbit Skate Center615 S Consumers Ave.Palatine, IL847-394-9199www.orbitskate.net(see our display ad, page 15)Orbit Skate Center is a unique venue forbar and bat mitzvah celebrations.Catering, DJs, and affordable packagesavailable.Pinstripes1150 Willow Rd.Northbrook, IL847-480-7676www.pinstripes.com(see our display ad, page 9)Pinstripes features a distinctiveentertainment and event venue.Celebrate "Sophisticated Fun" in ourwarm and inviting 45,000 sq.ft.indoor/outdoor facility. Complete with 18bowling lanes, 6 Bocce Courts,exceptional Italian-American Bistro &Wine Cellar. Outdoor Patio/fireplace &beautifully appointed event and partyrooms that can accommodate groupsfrom 20-600. Northbrook,Oakbrook, SouthBarrington and Downtown ChicagoLocations.The Second City1616 N. WellsChicago, IL312-664-4032www.secondcity.com(see our display ad, page 39)We’ve been bringing the funny for over55 years! Show your guests what itmeans to laugh like a Chicagoan at TheSecond CityWhirlyBall1825 West Webster, Chicago, IL773-486-7777

285 Center Drive, Vernon Hills, IL847-918-0800

800 East Roosevelt Road,Lombard, IL630-932-4800

www.whirlyball.com(see our display ad, page 16)Host the event of a lifetime with anamazingly delectable dinner & desserts,hand-crafted cocktails,Whirlyball,lasertag, climbing wall, and nowbowling at our brilliant new downtownChicago location.

Novelties & FavorsJewish Baseball Player368 W. Huron St.Chicago, IL312-374-3475www.jewishbaseballplayer.com(see our display ad, page 27)Instead of simply getting a t-shirt or Frisbeewith your name on it work with us to designyour customized gift package. Let us paintthe B’nai Mitzvot into the artwork for apermanent gift commemorating the day theybecame a man/woman. We will also providemini-reprints of the personalized artwork andnameplate for your guests as B’nai Mitzvahgiveaways. This is the most unique gift on themarket today!

Personalities, Inc.3328 Commercial Ave.Northbrook, IL847-A-PARTY-2 (847-272-7892)www.personalitiesinc.com(see our display ad, page 1)DJ's, MC's, & Dancers providinginteractive entertainment for all ages.Perfect for Mitzvahs, weddings,birthdays, corporate & more.We alsooffer Karaoke, Custom CD Giveaways,Game Shows & Music Video Parties.Sign-A-Rama352 Lexington Dr.Buffalo Grove, IL847-215-1535www.bgsignarama.com(see our display ad, page 35)Custom Banners, Posters, Sign-In Boardsfor your Mitzvahs,Weddings, Sweet 16’s,Fundraisers and other special events.Wewill work with you to help customizeyour event and theme!

Party & EventPlanningAlcohol Party CateringServing Chicagoland andSuburbs815-873-0405 or 1-800-232-7631www.AlcoholPartyCatering.com(see our display ad, page 21)Alcohol Party Catering is a licensed andinsured, full service, beverage cateringcompany, equipped to accommodate anytype or size event throughout Illinois.Alcohol Party Catering is the bar-tendinganswer for your private party, wedding,corporate event, office party, Bar/BatMitzvah or celebration of any kind.All Occasions BalloonsServing Chicagoland andSuburbs630-690-1144www.UpWithBalloons.com(see our display ad, page 35)It's your party, make it a good one!Balloon decor for Bar/Bat MItzvahs,Weddings and any party in-between.Arches, canopies and event decor withballoons are our specialty. Delivery toChicagoland and suburbs.Catalyst Ranch656 W. Randolph St.Chicago, IL312-207-1710www.CatalystRanchEvents.com(see our display ad, page 11)With a creative environment, your eventcan be a celebration that leaves a lastingimpression. The colorful ambiance willinfuse your event with life and a jovialspirit.College Nannies & TutorsGlenview & Lincoln Park, IL847-998-5657www.collegenanniesandtutors.com(see our display ad, page 44)We are available to provide childcare forevents: receptions, meetings, parties, etc.as well as individual family care in hotels.Our nannies are personally screened andthoroughly background checked.

Jewish Baseball Player368 W. Huron St.Chicago, IL312-374-3475www.jewishbaseballplayer.com(see our display ad, page 27)Instead of simply getting a t-shirt or Frisbeewith your name on it work with us to designyour customized gift package. Let us paintthe B’nai Mitzvot into the artwork for apermanent gift commemorating the day theybecame a man/woman. We will also providemini-reprints of the personalized artwork andnameplate for your guests as B’nai Mitzvahgiveaways. This is the most unique gift on themarket today!Jody Garland Design &Photography2555 Gross Point Rd.Evanston, IL847-707-4174www.jodygarland.com(see our display ad, page 48)Tradition with a twist. Fun, freshphotography. Complete Mitzvah pack-ages $975. Digital files included. Teamcoverage of parties, studio lighting attemple. Theme centerpiece photographyavailable.Libertyville Sports Complex1950 N. US Hwy. 45Libertyville, IL847-367-3006 or 847-367-1502www.LibertyvilleSportsComplex.com(see our display ad, page 14)With over 160,000 square feet of indoorspace, we can accommodate any sizeMitzvah celebration or Special Event.We’ve got the floor space to help youcreate any event, and also include indoorsoccer, basketball, Giant Inflatables,Climbing Mountain and our conferencerooms into the entertainment package.Host the most spectacular andimaginative Mitzvah ever!!Media Mix Entertainment4651 N. Milwaukee Ave.Chicago, IL312-804-0963 or 1-800-698-1949www.mixmediaentertainment.com(see our display ad, page 40)Successful event specialists since 1987.Planning, design production, DJs, bands,still and motion photography, eventlighting, AV display, photo booths andmore!Personalities, Inc.3328 Commercial Ave.Northbrook, IL847-A-PARTY-2 (847-272-7892)www.personalitiesinc.com(see our display ad, page 1)DJ's, MC's, & Dancers providinginteractive entertainment for all ages.Perfect for Mitzvahs, weddings,birthdays, corporate & more.We also offerKaraoke, Custom CD Giveaways, GameShows & MusicVideo Parties.

Sign-A-Rama352 Lexington Dr.Buffalo Grove, IL847-215-1535www.bgsignarama.com(see our display ad, page 35)Custom Banners, Posters, Sign-In Boardsfor your Mitzvahs,Weddings, Sweet 16’s,Fundraisers and other special events.Wewill work with you to help customizeyour event and theme!

Photography &VideographyBeautiful Memories Photo360 E. Randolph St., Suite 2803Chicago, IL312-650-5900www.beautifulmemoriesphoto.com(see our display ad, page 47)Providing top quality Bar and BatMitzvah photography throughout theChicago region for more than 15 years.Complete packages from $995.Christina Frances PhotographyServing Chicagoland & Suburbs708-218-3369ChristinaFrancesphotography.com(see our display ad, page 48)Artistic Chicago area photographerspecializing in fine-art Mitzvahphotography.Jeff Kovit Video ProductionsServing Chicagoland andSuburbs847-624-3752www.JeffKovitVideo.com(see our display ad, page 46)Offering HD video of Bar/Bat Mitzvahs,Weddings, and Special Events. Fully edit-ed and Special Pricing. Limited time offer.Jody Garland Design &Photography2555 Gross Point Rd.Evanston, IL847-707-4174www.jodygarland.com(see our display ad, page 48)Tradition with a twist. Fun, freshphotography. Complete Mitzvahpackages $975. Digital files included.Team coverage of parties, studio lightingat temple. Theme centerpiecephotography available.Lovely Day Photo Works931 West 75 St., Suite 137-147Naperville, IL630-216-0618www.ldpwphotoboothrentals.com(see our display ad, page 47)We're a full-service photo booth rentalcompany that has been operating since2009. Lovely Day PhotoWorks's photobooths make for a great addition for yourevent. Serving Chicago, Chicagoland andsuburbs.

Directory Of Resources B1Chicagoland Edition

Media Mix Entertainment4651 N. Milwaukee Ave.Chicago, IL312-804-0963 or 1-800-698-1949www.mixmediaentertainment.com(see our display ad, page 40)Successful event specialists since 1987.Planning, design production, DJs, bands,still and motion photography, eventlighting, AV display, photo booths andmore!Michael Lee PhotographyGlenveiw,IL917-604-3116www.mikeleephotos.com(see our display ads, page 48)Quality photography with a focus onoutstanding customer service. Friendly,professional, and over ten years ofexperience with social events for Chicagoand the North ShoreNeil Gates PhotographyNaperville/Plainfield, IL630-428-4540www.NeilGatesPhotography.com(see our display ads, page 7)Neil Gates Photography for yourMitzvahs,Weddings, Receptions andPortraits. Dedicated to capturing everymagical moment on your specialMilestone Events. Digital files, albumsand online print ordering available.Mitzvah photography from $950!RosenBooth Events815-543-6637www.rosenbooth.com(see our display ad, page 48)Photobooth and slow motion videobooth rentals.Romy Modlin Photography, LLCDeerfield, IL847-840-2873www.romymodlin.com(see our display ad, page 46)Artistic, candid photography forMitzvahs,Weddings and parties.Capturing the essence of your special dayand turning it into beautiful memories totreasure for a lifetime.TapSnap 1082422 Grant PlacePark Ridge, IL224-392-2907www.tapsnap.net(see our display ad, page 47)Intuitive technology, and minimalistdesign, TapSnap is a completelycustomizable social media photo boothexperience. Play with the green screenand post to Facebook, Twitter, and email.TapSnap adds excitement to anywedding or Mitzvah!

TransportationAries Charter TransportationServing Chicagoland andSuburbs773-826-2000 or 1-888-305-8700www.ariescharter.com(see our display ad, page 49)Aries provides service for weddings,rehearsals, Bar/Bat Mitzvahs using adiverse fleet of mini-buses, transit buses,limo-buses and motor coaches.Durham School Services -Charter Buses880 Rte. 83Grayslake, IL847-543-9244www.durhamschoolservices.com(see our display ad, page 49)We provide charter transportationservices throughout Chicagoland, andhave a variety of bus sizes to meet yourneeds. Call us today for a quote. PROMOCODE: BMJO1First Student Charter Bus RentalsAll of Chicagoland and Northern IL1-866-514-8747 (TRIP)www.firstcharterbus.com(see our display ad, page 49)For your Bar/Bat Mitzvah orWeddingShuttle Bus, call us! Count on FirstStudent Charter Bus Rentals to deliver abetter way to meet your travel plans.Whether you need on-site shuttles,shuttles from site to site, or simpledelivery to a destination, we’ll make theentire process from estimating toexecution simple, smart and successful.

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