Little Shop Of Horrors Script

Narrator: On the 23rd day of the month of September... ...in an early year of a decade not too long before our own... ...the human race suddenly encountered a deadly threat to its very existence.

And this terrifying enemy surfaced, as such enemies often do... ...in the seemingly most innocent and unlikely of places.

Song: Little Shop Of HorrorsBalcony Girls: (singing) Little Shop Little Shop of Horrors Little Shop of Terrors Call the cops Little Shop Little Shop of Horrors Little Shop of Terrors Watch 'em drop Little Shop of Horrors Shing-a-ling What a creepy thing to be happening Look out! Shang-a-lang Feel the Sturm und Drang in the air Stop right where you are Don't move a thing You'd better, telling you, you'd better Tell your mama Something's gonna get her She'd better, everybody better, beware Here it comes, baby Tell those bums, baby Hit the dirt, baby Red alert, baby Alley Oop, haul it off the stoop l'm warning you Look out! Run away Child, You're gonna pay if you fail Look around, look who's coming down Down the street for you You bet 'cha You bet your butt, you bet 'cha Best believe it Something's come to get 'cha Better watch your back and your tail Little Shop Little Shop of Horrors Bop-she-bop

You'll never stop the terror Little Shop Little Shop of Horrors...

Scene 1, Location: Flower Shop, Shelf crashes on Seymour

Mr. Mushnik: (shouts) Seymour, what's going on down there?

Seymour: Very little, Mr. Mushnik!

Seymour dusts himself off and puts the radio on. Radio: ...and at his press conference today, President Kennedy fielded questions... ...concerning last Thursday's total eclipse of the sun... ...an astrological phenomenon which has baffled the nation.

Audrey enters. Mr. Mushnik: Aaaah! So, she finally decides to come to work!

Audrey: Oh, Good morning, Mr. Mushnik.

Mr. Mushnik: What morning? lt's almost closing time. Not that we had a customer. (sighs)

Crash! Mr. Mushnik: Seymour, what in the name of God is going on down there? Audrey, would you go down and see what he's—(notices Audrey’s black eye) Where did you get that shiner?

Audrey: Oh, er, shiner?

Mr. Mushnik: Audrey, that greasy boyfriend of yours is beating up on you again?

Mr. Mushnik: Look. l know it's none of my business... ...but l'm beginning to think he's maybe not such a nice boy.

Seymour: l got these pots unloaded for you, Mr.—

Seymour falls and pots crash.

Mr. Mushnik: Seymour, look what you've done to the inventory!

Audrey: (staring at Seymour) Don't yell at Seymour, Mr. Mushnik

Seymour: Hi Audrey, You look radiant today. Is that new eye make-up?

Audrey: Oh! I'll help him clean it up before any of the customers get here.

Mr. Mushnik: That should give you plenty of time. Oh, God, what an existence l got! Misfit employees, bums on the sidewalk... ...business is lousy. My life is a living hell! (notices girls) Hey, you. Urchins! Shoo! Shoo! Shoo! Move! Move! Move! Go away! No loitering!

Ronette: Man! I wasn't loitering. Were you, Crystal?

Crystal: Not me, Ronette. Were you, Chiffon?

Mr. Mushnik: You ought to be in school!

Chiffon: Yeah! Well, we on a split shift.

Ronette: Right! We went to school until fifth grade, then we split.

Mr. Mushnik: So? How do you intend to better yourselves?

Crystal: Better ourselves? You hear what he said? Better ourselves? Mister, when you're from Skid Row ain't no such thing.

Song: Skid RowCast/ Choir: Alarm goes off at seven And you start uptown You put in your eight hours For the powers that have always been Sing it, child. Till its 5p.m. Then you go Downtown Where the folks are broke You go downtown Where your life's a joke You go downtown Where you buy your token And you go Home to Skid Row Home to Skid Row Yes, you go Downtown Where the cabs don't stop Downtown Where the food is slop Downtown Where the hopheads flop in the snow Down on Skid Row Uptown, you cater to a million jerks Uptown, you're messengers And mailroom clerks Eating all your lunches

At the hotdog carts The bosses take your money Then they break your hearts Uptown you cater to a million whores Disinfect terrazzo On their bathroom floors Your jobs are really menial You make no bread And then at 4 you head By subway Downtown Where the guys are drips Downtown Where they rip your slips Downtown Where relationships are no go Down on Skid Row Down on Skid Row Down on Skid Row Down on Skid Row Down on Skid Row Down on Skid Row Poor All my life I've always been poor I keep asking God what l'm for And he tells me, 'Gee, I'm not sure. Sweep that floor, kid.' I started life as an orphan A child of the street Here on Skid Row He took me in, gave me shelter, a bed Crust of bread and a job Treats me like dirt Calls me a slob, which l am So l live Downtown That's your home address You live Downtown When your life's a mess You live Downtown Where depression's just... ...status quo Down on Skid Row Someone show me a way To get out of here Cause l constantly pray I'll get out of here Please, won't somebody say? I'll get out of here Someone give me my shot Or I'll rot here Show me how and l will I'll get out of here I’ll start climbing uphill And get out of here Someone tell me I still could get out of here

Someone tell Lady Luck That I'm stuck here Gee, it sure would be swell To get out of here Bid the gutter farewell And get out of here I'd move heaven and hell To get out of Skid I'd do l don't know what To get out of Skid But a hell of a lot To get out of Skid People tell me there's not A way out of Skid But believe me, I've got To get out of Skid Row!

Scene Two, Location: Shop. Audrey, Seymour and Mr. Mushnik waiting for customers.

Mr. Mushnik: Six o'clock and we haven't sold so much as a fern! All right! That's it! Forget it. Don't bother coming in tomorrow.

Audrey: Ah! You don't mean....

Seymour: You can’t mean!- Mr. Mushnik: I mean, I'm through. Forget it. Kaput.

Audrey: You can't.

Mr. Mushnik: Kaput. Extinct. l'm closing this God and customer forsaken place.

Seymour: (desperately) Mr. Mushnik, forgive me for saying so, but has it ever occurred to you... ...that maybe what the firm needs is to move in a new direction?

Audrey: What Seymour's trying to say is.... Seymour, why don't you run downstairs and bring up... ...that strange and interesting new plant you've been working on? Think, Mr. Mushnik! Some of those exotic plants Seymour's been tinkering around with... ...are really unusual. We thought that maybe some of those strange and interesting new plants... ...prominently displayed and advertised, would attract business.

Seymour: l'm afraid it isn't feeling very well today.

Audrey: There! Now, isn't that bizarre?

Mr. Mushnik: At least. What kind of a weirdo plant is that, Seymour?

Seymour: I don't know. I think it's some kind of flytrap... ...but l haven’t been able to identify it in any of my books. I gave it my own name though. (Glances at Audrey) I call it an Audrey ll.

Audrey: After me?

Seymour: I hope you don't mind. You see, sir, if you were to put a strange and interesting plant like this... ...here in the window, then maybe....

Mr. Mushnik: Maybe what? Maybe what? Do you have any idea how ridiculous you sound? Just because you put a strange plan in the window people don't suddenly-

(doorbell chimes) First Customer: (robot-like) Excuse me. l couldn't help noticing that strange and interesting plant. What is it?

Audrey: (proudly) It's an Audrey ll.

First Customer: I've never seen anything like it before.

Seymour: No one has.

First Customer: Where did you get it?

Song: Da-Doo Seymour/ Balcony Girls: Well, you remember that total eclipse of the sun about a week ago? Da-doo! I was walking in the wholesale flower district that day. Doo! Da-doo And I passed by this place where this old Chinese man.... Hey da! He sometimes sells me weird and exotic cuttings. Da-doo! 'Cause he knows strange plants are my hobby. Lalalalalalala He didn't have anything unusual there that day. Do! Da-doo! So I was just about to,

you know, walk on by... ...when suddenly and without warning, there was this... ...total eclipse of the sun. It got very dark. And there was this strange humming sound, like something from another world. Da-doo And when the light came back, this weird plant wasjust sitting there. Oopsy Doo Just stuck in among the zinnias. Audrey ll. I could have sworn it hadn't been there before... ...but the old Chinese man sold it to me anyways... ...for dollar ninety-five Shalalalalalala-ooooooh First Customer: Well, that's an unusual story, and a fascinating plant. (heads out, then returns) Oh, and while l'm here, I might as well take $50 worth of roses.

Mr. Mushnik: $50!?

First Customer: Can you break $100?

Mr. Mushnik: $100? No.

First Customer: Then l'll just have to take twice as many.

Seymour: Twice as many?

Audrey: Twice as many!?

Mr. Mushnik: Twice as many!

2nd customer enters.

2nd Customer: (excitedly) That plant in the window, it's simply amazing!

3rd customer enters. 3rd Customer: That plant in the window, wherever did you get it?

Couple enter.

4th Customer: There it is, Marge.

Marge: Oh, my gosh, it's peculiar.

Customers: Thank you very much, sir!

Thank you!

Mr. Mushnik: Thank you! Come again! Come and look at the weirdo plant some more! lt's just going to get bigger and more interesting. (then to Seymour and Audrey) Just don't stand there! Quick, quick! Put the plant back.... What did you call it?

Seymour: Audrey ll.

Mr. Mushnik: Put that Audrey ll back in the window where passersby can see it. Oh My God! l never thought this could happen! I'm taking us all out to dinner tonight!

Audrey: I'd love to, Mr. Mushnik, but l have a date.

Mr. Mushnik: With that nogoodnik? I’m telling you... You don't need a date with him. You need major medical.

Audrey: He's a rebel, Mr. Mushnik, but he makes good money. Besides... ...he's the only fella I got. Enjoy dinner. Goodnight, Seymour. Seymour: Goodnight, Audrey.

Mr. Mushnik: Poor girl.

Seymour: Are we still going out?

Audrey ii vomits.

Mr. Mushnik: You're not going anywhere! You're staying right here and taking care of that sick plant!

Seymour: I told you it's been giving me trouble. Audrey ii is not a healthy girl.

Mr. Mushnik :(putting on his coat) Between us, neither is the Audrey l.

Seymour: If l only knew what breed it was.

Mr. Mushnik: Who cares what breed it is? Look what it's done for business. Work. Nurse this plant back to health. I'm counting on you.

Seymour: I know.

Mr. Mushnik: You do?

Seymour: I do.Mr. Mushnik: So fix. Good night.

Seymour: (to Audrey ii) Twoey, l don't know what else I can do for you. Are you sickly, little plant, or are you just plain stubborn? What is it you want? What is it you need?

Song- Grow For Me Seymour: I've given you sunshine I've given you dirt You've given me nothing But heartache and hurt I'm begging you sweetly I'm down on my knee Oh, please, grow for me I've given you plant food And water to sip I've given you potash You've given me zip Oh God, how I mist you Oh pod, how you tease Now please, grow for me I've given you southern exposure To get you to thrive I've pinched you back hard Like l'm supposed to You're barely alive I've tried you at levels of moisture From desert to mud I've given you grow lights And mineral supplements What do you want from me? Blood?

Pricks finger on a rose thorn. Seymour: Ow! Damn roses! Damn thorns!

Sucks bloody finger and hears Audrey ii imitating him. He walks to it and it tries to bite him. Song- Grow For Me(Continued)Seymour: I've given you sunlight I've given you rain Looks like you're not happy Less l open a vein. I'll give you a few drops If that'll appease Oh, please... ...grow for me!

Audrey ii is fed and grows twice its size. Radio: #W-S-K-I-D. Skid Row radio. # You're listening to radio station WSKID, home of the hits.

In just a few minutes we'll bring you Wink Wilkensen's Weird World... ...where wonderful people bring in their weird things.

But first, the weather.

Thank you. The weather today will bepartly cloudy with a chance of rain. Sorry.

The high temperature will bein the low s tonight....

-Excuse me. l was told to come---You're next.

High tomorrow should be in the low swith the low in the high s.

In the suburbs, the sun should be outthrough most of the day...

...except for some cloudy patchestowards the evening.

The barometer reading should be . .

The wind will be about...

...I'd say miles per hour.

The sun will be rising tomorrowat about : a.m...

...and it should be setting around : p.m.

The cold front is moving infrom the southwest.

It should brighten up by noon.

The weekend should be mild.

The average mean temperaturefor the season....

You're listening to radio station WSKID.

And now, Wink Wilkensen's Weird World,with your host, Wink Wilkensen.

Hi! lt's Weird Wink Wilkensen,laughin' and scratchin' at ya.

How's everybody today?

l got a bit of a stiff neck.Let me just fix this up.

That feels a lot better!

l got a great show for you todaywith some wonderful weird stuff!

What are you doing here?

Please, put your clothes back on!You can't do this to me!

What if your husband were to walk in?

l'm here, Wink. l love your show...

...but l've got to kill you bothwith this machine gun.

You got me!

l feel so very weird!

Our first guest is a young man...

...you probably read aboutin the newspapers by the name of...

...Seymour Krelborn. ls that correct?

Who has discovered a new breed of plantunknown on this planet.

Let me play you downto your seat, Seymour.

Hello, Seymour!

Hello, Wink.

l wish you folks at home could see this.

Seymour, where did you getsuch a weird plant?

Well, you remember that total eclipseof the sun about a week ago?

And thus we conclude our interviewwith the young botanical--

Mind if I call you a genius?

Gosh, no!

The genius who has discoveredthis amazing, unidentified plant.

I'd like to remind our listenersthat the Audrey II is on display...

...exclusively atMushnik's Skid Row Florists.

-Did l miss it?-Mushnik's.

The address!

The address!

l said, mention the address!

Oh, well. lt's still good advertising.

Seymour's first radio broadcast.

l wanted to hear it so bad.l tried to be on time, but--

Don't tell me. You got tied up.

No, just handcuffed, a little.

Girl. Hey, girl.

The mess you hang out withis hazardous to your health.

That's for sure. But l can't leave him.

-Why not?-He'd get angry.

lf he does this when he likes me,imagine what he'd do if he ever got mad.

So, dump the chump.Get a guy who'll protect you.

How about the little jerk with the glasses?

Seymour?

Oh, we're just friends.

l don't even deserve a sweet, considerate...

...suddenly successful guy like Seymour.

That poor child suffersfrom low self-image.

-You got a point.-She got a problem.

''l know Seymour's the greatest

''But l'm dating a semi-sadist

''So l got a black eyeAnd my arm's in a cast

''Still that Seymour's a cutie

''Well, if not, he's got inner beauty

''And l dream of a place

''Where we could be together at last

''A matchbox of our own

''A fence of real chain-link

''A grill out on the patio

''Disposal in the sink

''A washer and a dryer

''And an ironing machine

''ln a tract house that we share

''Somewhere that's green

''He rakes and trims the grass

''He loves to mow and weed

''l cook like Betty Crocker

''And l look like...

''...Donna Reed

''There's plastic on the furniture

''To keep it neat and clean

''ln the Pine-sol scented air

''Somewhere that's green

''Somewhere that's green

''Between our frozen dinner

''And our bedtime, :

''We snuggle watching Lucy

''On our big, enormous...

''... -inch screen

''l'm his December bride

''He's father, he knows best

''The kids play Howdy Doody

''As the sun sets in the west

''A picture out of Better Homes...

''...and Gardens magazine

''Far from Skid Row

''l dream we'll go

''Somewhere that's...

''...green''

''Poor Seymour pushed a broomNothing in his news but gloom and doom

''Then he lit a fuse and give him roomHe started an explosion, holy cow

''That thing went bang kerboomAnd he's having some fun now

''-Some fun now-Hot damn!

''-Ain't he having some fun now?-Yes, ma'am

''He's having some fun now

''Ain't he having some fun now?''

Yes, Mrs. Shiva.

No, Mrs. Shiva. Right away, Mrs. Shiva.

Did you send Mrs. Shiva's order?

Mrs. Shiva? l forgot!

You forgot?

You forgot!

Do you hear this, God? He forgot!

Are you listening, customers? He forgot!

Quick! We've got to doan emergency arrangement.

Birthday? Wedding? Baby?

Funeral.

Get me the lilies.

Mr. Mushnik's real mad at me.l keep forgetting things.

Scissors. You got a lot on your mind.

What mind? The Shivas areour biggest funeral account.

A huge family, dropping off like flies!

Sometimes l think Mr. Mushnik'stoo hard on you. Glue.

That's okay.

-l owe him everything.-Glitter.

He took me outof the Skid Row Home for Boys...

...gave me a warm place to stay,floors to sweep, toilets to clean...

...and every other Sunday off.

You know, l think you oughtto raise your expectations.

Now that you're getting successful, l mean.

lt's clear you suffer from a low self-image.

lt's high time you get it fixed.

Why don't you go outand do something nice for yourself like...

...buy some new clothes?

l'm a very bad shopper, Audrey.

l don't have good taste, like you.

l could help you pick things out.

You could?

Sure.

You'd go shopping with me?

Sure.

You'd be seen with me in a public placelike a department store?

Sure.

Tonight?

l can't tonight. l got a date.

Again, this date?

Some date.

A date gives you a corsage,not a multiple fracture.

He's not a good, clean kind of boy.

He's a professional.

What professional rides a motorcycleand wears a black leather jacket?

''When l was younger, just a bad little kid

''My mama noticed funny things l did

''Like shooting puppies with a BB gun

''l'd poison guppies and when l was done

''l'd find a pussycat and bash in its head

''That's when my mama said

''What did she say?

''She said,'My boy, l think someday

'''You'll find a wayTo make your natural tendencies pay

'''You'll be a dentist

'''You have a talent for causing things pain

'''Son, be a dentist

'''People will pay you to be inhumane

'''Your temperament's wrongfor the priesthood

'''And teaching would suit you still less

'''Son, be a dentist

'''You'll be a success'

''Here he is, folksThe leader of the plaque

''Watch him suck up that gasOh, my God!

''He's a dentistand he'll never ever be any good

''Who wants their teeth doneby the Marquis de Sade?''

Oh, that hurts! Wait, l'm not numb.

Oh, shut up. Open wide, here l come!

''l am your dentist

''And l enjoy the career that l picked

''l am your dentist

''And l get off on the pain l inflict

''l thrill when l drill a bicuspid

''lt's swell, though they tell mel'm maladjusted

''And though it may causemy patients distress

''Somewhere, in heaven above me

''l know that my mama's proud of me''

Oh, Mama!

'''Cause l'm a dentist

''And a success

''Say, 'Aaah'

''Say, 'Aaah'

''Say, 'Aaah'

''Now spit! ''

Excuse me, sir,you can't go in there right now.

Relax. You want some nitrous oxide?

Suit yourself.

We're closed.

lt's all right, Seymour.This is my date, my boyfriend.

Seymour, Orin Scrivello.

DDS.

l know you. l saw you on the news.

l even know your name.Let's see. lt's...Cecil. No, no.

-lt's...Cedric.-No.

Give me a chance.

lt's...

...Simon?

Seymour!

Somebody talking to you?

No. Excuse me.

Excuse me, what?

Excuse me, Doctor.

That's better.

l know! You're the plant guy, right?

That means it must be in there.

That is incredible!

-What do you call that thing?-Audrey ll.

Cute name. lt's catchy.

Nice plant. Big.

Shouldn't we be leaving now?

You're quite the little chatterbox, ain't ya?

-l'm sorry.-Sorry, what?

Sorry, Doctor. Doctor. Sorry, Doctor.

You've got to train them, stud.

Here's my card. You need a root canalor anything like that, give me a buzz.

lt's on the house.

You got the handcuffs?

They're right in my bag.

You ought to see the wayhe treats her, Twoey.

She deserves a prince,not a sadistic creep like him.

The man's a total disgraceto the dental profession.

l don't know what's going on, sometimes.

Seems like the whole world's going crazy.

At least we got each other, right?

l'm gonna turn in, Twoey.l'll see you in the morning.

Oh, boy. Here we go again.

Come on, l haven't got much left.

Give me a few days to heal.We'll start again on the left hand and--

l beg your pardon?

Feed me.

Twoey, you talked!You opened your trap and you said--

Feed me, Krelborn! Feed me now!

l can't!

l'm starving!

Maybe l can squeeze a little moreout of this one.

More! More! More!

There isn't any more!

What do you want me to do?Slit my wrists?

Oh, boy! Look, l've got an idea.

l'll pick you up some nice chopped sirloin.

Must be blood.

That's disgusting.

Must be fresh.

l don't want to hear this.

Feed me.

Does it have to be human?

Feed me!

Does it have to be mine?

Feed me!

Where am l supposed to get it?

''Feed me, Seymour

''Feed me all night long

''That's right, boy

''You can do it

''Feed me, Seymour

''Feed me all night long

'''Cause if you feed me, Seymour

''l can grow up big and strong''

You eat blood, Audrey ll. Let's face it.

How am l supposed to keep feeding you?Kill people?

l'll make it worth your while.

What?

You think this is all coincidence, baby?

The sudden success around here?The press coverage?

Look, you're a plant. An inanimate object.

Does this look inanimate to you, punk?

lf l can talk and l can move,who's to say l can't do anything l want?

Like what?

Like deliver, pal.

Like see you get everythingyour sacred greasy heart desires.

''Would you like a Cadillac car?

''Or a guest shot on Jack Paar?

''How about a date with Hedy Lamarr?You're gonna get it, if you want it, baby.

''How'd you like to be a big wheel?

''Dining out for every meal?

''l'm the plant that can make it all real

''You're gonna get it

''l'm your genie, l'm your friendl'm your willing slave

''Take a chanceFeed me and

''You know the kind of eatsAnd red-hot treats

''The kind of sticky, licky sweets l crave

''Come on, Seymour, don't be a putz

''Trust me, and your lifeWill surely rival King Tut's

''Show some initiative, work up some gutsAnd you'll get it''

''l don't know''

Come on, boy!

''l don't know''

Lighten up.

''l have so...

''...so many strong...

''...reservations''

Tell it to the Marines.

''Should l go...

''...and perform...

''...mutilations?''

''You didn't have nothingTill you met me

''Come on, kidWhat will it be?

''Money? Girls?

''One particular girl?

''How about that Audrey?

''Think it over

''There must be someone you could

''Real quiet like and get me some lunch!

''Think about a room at the Ritz

''Wrapped in velvet, covered in glitz

''A little nookie gonna clean up those zits,and you'll get it

''Gee, l'd like a Harley machineTooling around like l was James Dean

''Making all the guys on the cornerturn green

''lf you want to be profoundlf you really got to justify

''Take a breath and look around

''A lot of folks deserve to die''

Wait a minute!That's not a very nice thing to say.

But it's true, isn't it?

l don't know anyone who deserves to getchopped up and fed to a hungry plant!

Sure you do.

Stupid woman!Christ, what a frigging scatterbrain!

l'm sorry, Doctor!

l'm sorry, Doctor!

Falls off the motorcycle!

l'm clumsy, Doctor!

Messes my hair!

Get the door open, you little slut!

l'm trying, Doctor! l'm trying!

Get the Vitalis. Quick, the Vitalis!

l'm out of it!

''lf you want a rationalelt isn't very hard to see

''Stop and think it over, pal

''The guy sure looks like plant food to me

''The guy sure looks like plant food to me

''The guy sure looks like plant food to me

''He's so nasty treating her rough

''Smacking her aroundAnd always talking so tough

''You need bloodAnd he's got more than enough

''l need bloodAnd he's got more than enough

''You need bloodAnd he's got more than enough

''So go get it! ''

Are they finished? My turn?

Sit!

What did he do? Tell me everything!

They have to do that to remove the jaw.

Consider yourself very, very lucky.

-Next!-lt's me, Arthur Denton! l'm next!

Nurse!

Does that have an appointment?

Ask it. l'm off duty.

l've been saving all month for this.l think l need a root canal.

l'm sure l need a long, slow root canal.

Let's go.

-l have a history of dental problems.-Shut up!

Yes, Doctor.

l went to a terrible dentist Wednesday,who was recommended to me...

...by somebody l saw Monday...

...who's the brother of a manl usually see Sundays.

Their mother taught themeverything they know.

She's gifted, but elderly.People think she shouldn't be working.

l go to her because l'm just

incredibly devoted to her strength.

She can't really see who you are,but she knows the sound of your voice.

lf you tell her where it is, the problem,she eventually finds it and she does it.

l wish l had that stamina.l can only go so long.

That's how l want to be.l don't ever want to have to be just--

Comfy?

Yes, Doctor.

l remember the first timel went to a dentist.

l thought, ''What a neat job!lf only l were a dentist.''

The dentist l went to had the greatest car.

He had a Corvette. Everybody calls him''Doctor'' and he's not really a doctor.

Oh, my God!

l got out of there okay,but after it was all finished...

...they gave me a candy bar.l thought, ''l get a candy bar?''

You go through that and get chocolate.

You work with incredible professionals,using incredibly wonderful equipment....

Let's look at that mouth.

Say, ''Aaah.''

Yeah, great!

You are something special.

You are something special!

Thank you!

lt's your professionalism that l respect.

Don't stop, Doc! Don't stop!Come on! More!

What do you want? Say, ''Please! ''

l'm going to get a candy bar!

Get out!

What's wrong?

Get out of here!

What's the matter?

Go on! Get out of here!

This way.

l'm gonna tell each and every oneof my friends about you--

What's this?

Goddamn sicko!

Let me ask you something.Does this scare you?

Yes.

Would you like if l took this and madestraight for your goddamn incisors?

lt'd hurt, right?

You'd scream!

Get your ass in there!

-Don't l know you?-Seymour Krelborn. We met yesterday.

Your mouth's a mess, kid.

That wisdom tooth.We'll rip that bugger right out of there.

What do you say?There's always time for dental hygiene.

You ever seen the resultsof a neglected mouth?

Look, Seymour.

This could happen to you.

Unless l take immediate action!

What's that?

The drill.

lt's rusty!

lt's an antique.

They don't make them like this anymore.

Sturdy...

...heavy...

...dull.

l'm going to want some gas for this.

Thank God.l thought you wouldn't use any.

The gas isn't for you, Seymour. lt's for me.

You see, l want to really enjoy this.

ln fact, l'm going to usemy special gas mask!

l find a little giggle gas before l beginincreases my pleasure enormously.

Here we go!

Oh, Seymour, l'm flying!

The things l'm going to do to that mouth!

What the hell is that?

A gun?

The kid's got a goddamn revolver!

l'm in trouble now, huh?

Wait till l turn this gas off.

Give me a hand, would you?

No, l guess you wouldn't, would you?

l could asphyx--

What'd l ever do to you?

Nothing. lt's what you did to her.

Her who?

Oh, her.

Chop it up.

What?

Feed me!

Okay, okay.

Audrey, what'd they say to you?

Who?

The police.

Oh, nothing.

Talk to me. Tell me what they said.

lt's Orin. They say he's disappeared!

The police told you that?

They suspect foul play.

They do?

His receptionist, this morning,found the place a shambles.

Gas masks everywhere.

Things all over the floor.

They think....

l can't even think about what they think.

Don't cry, Audrey.

Would it be so terribleif something had happened to him?

Seymour, what a thing to say!

Well, would it?

lt wouldn't be terrible at all.

lt'd be a miracle.

Not to mention all the money l'd saveon Epsom salts and Ace bandages.

You see?

But l'd still feel guilty.

lf he met with foul playor some terrible accident of some kind...

...it'd be partly my fault just because...

...secretly l wished it.

Don't you waste another minutethinking about that creep!

There's a lot of guys that'd give anythingto go out with you.

Nice guys.

l don't deserve a nice guy, Seymour.

-That's not true.-You don't know the half of it!

l've led a terrible life.

l deserved a creep like Orin Scrivello, DDS.

You know where l met him?

ln The Gutter.

The Gutter?

The Gutter. lt's a nightspot.

l worked there on my nights offwhen we weren't making much money.

l'd put on...

...cheap and tasteless outfits,not nice ones like this.

Low and nasty apparel.

That's all behind you now.

You got nothing to be ashamed of.

You're a very nice person.

l always knew you were.

Underneath the bruises and the handcuffs,you know what l saw?

A girl l respected.

l still do.

''Lift up your head

''Wash off your mascara

''Here, take my KleenexWipe that lipstick away

''Show me your face

''Clean as the morning

''l know things were bad

''But now they're okay

''Suddenly Seymour

''ls standing beside you

''You don't need no make-up

''Don't have to pretend

''Suddenly Seymour

''ls here to provide you

''Sweet understanding

''Seymour's your friend''

''Nobody ever treated me kindly

''Daddy left early

''Mama was poor

''l'd meet a manAnd l'd follow him blindly

''He'd snap his fingers at me

''l'd say, 'Sure'

''Suddenly Seymour

''ls standing beside me

''He don't give me orders

''He don't condescend

''Suddenly Seymour

''ls here to provide me

''Sweet understanding

''-Seymour's my friend-Tell me this feeling

''Will last 'til forever

''Tell me the bad timesAre clean washed away

''Please understand thatlt's still strange and frightening

''For losers like l've beenlt's so hard to save

''Suddenly Seymour

''He purified me

''He purified you

''Suddenly Seymour

''Showed me l can

''Yes, you can

''Learn how to be more

''The girl that's inside me

''With sweet understanding

''With sweet understanding

''Seymour's your man''

You love her madly, don't you, schmuck?

Mr. Mushnik, you scared me.

l scared him?After what l've seen, l scared him?

Do you think l didn't know, huh?Oh, l knew.

l knew you'd lay down here,on your pathetic little cot...

...and dream about her.

But l didn't know the lengthsto which you'd go...

...the depths to which you'd sink!

What depths? What sink?

What are you talking about?

Little red dots all over the linoleum.

Little red spots on the concrete outside.

l'm talking blood, Krelborn.l'm talking under my own roof.

An axe murderer!

''He's got your number now''

l saw everything.

''He knowsjust what you've done''

Everything you did to her boyfriend.

''You've got no place to hide''

l saw you chopping him.

''You've got nowhere to run''

lt's true. l chopped him up,but l didn't kill him!

''He knows your life of crime''

Tell it to the police.

''l think it's suppertime!

''Come on, come on

''Think about all those offers

''Come on, come on

''Your future with Audrey

''Come on, come on

''Ain't no time to turn squeamish

''Come on

''l swear on all my spores

''When he's goneThe world will be yours

''lt's suppertime''

You know, Krelborn, it kills me doing this.

But considering you're almostlike a son to me, l'm thinking...

...maybe we don't have to go to the police.

We don't?

l'm thinking...

...what if l kept my mouth shut andgave you a one-way ticket out of town?

You'd do that, sir?

You could lay low for a while,say years.

Meanwhile, l would keep the plant.

The plant?

Of course, you'd have to teach mehow to take care of it while you're away.

Give me your secret gardening tips.

But then, if you'd rather hang....

What do l have to do?

Just feed it.

Feed it what?

Minerals.

Thursdays, you should give it water.

But whatever you do....

Yes?

Whatever you do....

Yeah?

What the hell is...?

''lt's suppertime''

Seymour Krelborn!

Finally, we meet you! What an occasion!Let's toast it. Up yours. Relax.

Let's talk turkey. Sign here.

-We'll book you on lecturing tours.-Yes, darling.

We're sending photographers Thursday.

So get the plant readyand wear a clean shirt.

-Just sign this release.-Need a pen?

Aren't you thrilled?lt's the cover of Life magazine!

Dessert?

Son, it's a cinch to get ratings.

-The title is Marvin's.-The concept is mine.

The first weekly gardening showon the network!

-And you're gonna host it, you lucky kid.-Sign!

''They say the meek shall inheritYou know the Book doesn't lie

''lt's not a question of meritlt's not demand and supply

''They say the meek are gonna get it.

''You know the meek are gonna getwhat's coming to them''

Oh, my God!

And here he is himself,Mr. Seymour Krelborn!

Mr. Krelborn, there are many questions...

...the people in our television audiencehave for you.

Come and tell our viewersat home and elsewhere...

...about this particularly amazingagricultural phenomenon...

...that's made you one of the most talkedabout plant scientists in the country--

Cut!

What happenedto the goddamned greenery?

-lt just needs to be fed.-So feed it.

l can't feed it. Not now.

Then l'll feed it. Where's the plant food?

lt doesn't eat plant food.And l can't feed it now.

Leave me alone.

All of you.

Just go away.

Leave me alone. Get out of here.

Go away. Leave me alone!

Everybody go away!

Leave me alone!

You're hysterical.

l know. l'm sorry.

What am l gonna do?

l never should've started, but l did.Now, if l don't feed it, it'll die.

l'll lose her, l'll lose everything.

Who are you talking to?

Nobody.

You're acting funny.

lt wasn't nice throwing those people out.

Those men saidSeymour Krelborn's Gardening Tips...

...is sure to be a very big TV show.

l know. l'm sorry. l feel terrible.

Well, you shouldn't.

They're coming back tomorrowand they'll bring you a great big check.

l wish you were enjoying your success.

They said they're coming backwith money?

Tomorrow.

Then we could afford to get out of here.

What do you mean?

That's it. After tomorrowwe could leave here together.

Together?

lf you'll have me.

Audrey, will you have me?

What do you mean?

Marry me, Audrey.

Seymour, this is so sudden.

Will you?

Sure.

Then that's it!We'll go get married right now.

Tomorrow l'll be on TV, get the moneyand then we'll live happily ever after.

Oh, Audrey, l'll give you a wonderful lifewith no plants, l promise.

-No plants at all.-You're talking peculiar again.

We'll start tonight.We'll go to City Hall, get married...

...and spend the night somewhere safe.Some nice hotel.

l've got to get ready!

Hurry. Hurry.

Feed me.

Under no circumstances.

Feed me.

l will not, so stop asking.

Feed me!

No! No more!

l can't take living with the guilt.

Tough titty.

Watch your language.

Cut the crap. Bring on the meat.

l'll run to the corner, pick you upsome nice ground round.

-How about that?-Don't do me no favors!

lt's my last offer. Yes or no?

You sure do drive a hard bargain.

Done. Fine. Great.

Don't think you're getting dessert.

-Hello.-''Hey, little lady, hello''

Who is this?

''You're looking cute as can be''

ls this someone l know?

''You're looking mighty sweet''

Seymour!

''No, it ain't Seymour. It's me!''

Oh, my God!

l don't believe it.

Believe it, baby. lt talks.

Am l dreaming this?

No, and you ain't in Kansas, neither.

Something is very wrong here.

l need me some water in the worst way.

Look at my branches.

l'm drying up. l'm a goner, honey!

''Come on and give me a drink''

l don't know if l should.

''Hey, little lady, be nice''

Do you talk to Seymour like this?

''Sure do. l'll drink it straight''

Your leaves are dry.

''Don't need no glass or no ice''

l'll get the can.

''Don't need no twist of lime''

Here we go.

''And now it's suppertime! ''

Oh, relax, doll. lt'll be easy.

Get off of her! Get off!

-Are you okay?-Yes.

Yes. l'm okay.

l'm sorry. l never meant to hurt you.l never meant to hurt anybody.

lt's just that somehow it makesthings happen. Terrible things.

l should've stoppedwhen l found out what it lived on.

But it was so cute and harmless...

...and we started doing businessand making money and you liked me--

Do you really thinkl liked you because of that?

l liked you from the dayl came to work here.

You mean, you'd still like meeven if l wasn't famous?

l'd still love you, Seymour.

Really?

All l ever wanted was you...

...and a sweet little house.

You're the most wonderful personthat ever lived.

We're gonna get that little houseand everything will be okay.

''Suddenly Seymour

''ls standing beside you

''Suddenly Seymour

''Showed me l can

''Yes, you can--''

Excuse me, pardon me, beg your pardon.

lf you two kids would stop singingfor a moment...

...l've got somethingl want to discuss with you.

Which one of you is Seymour Krelborn?

l am.

lt's a pleasure.

Has your phone been busy!l've been trying to reach you for weeks.

Patrick Martin, Licensing and Marketing,World Botanical Enterprises.

Son, kid, boy, are we gonna makea fortune together!

-He's not interested.-He will be.

Me and the guys at the home officehave been following this plant of yours.

We've come up with one incredible idea.

We're very proud of it.

Picture this.

We take leaf cuttings,develop little Audrey lls...

...and sell them to florist shopsacross the nation.

Pretty soon every household in Americacould have one.

Every household in America!

For starters, kid. Why this thing could go...

...worldwide!

Worldwide?

Think of it, boy.

Audrey lls everywhere!

With the right advertising,this thing could be bigger than Hula-Hoops.

Bigger than Hula-Hoops?

What do you say, Seymour?Do we have a deal?

No! Keep your contract.Nobody's touching that plant.

We're offering a lot of money.

Forget the money!Keep it and get out of here!

-Are you nuts?-Yeah, l'm nuts.

Get out of here! Go on! Get out of here!

l'll come back when you'rein a better mood.

Are you thinking what l'm thinking?

l think so.

He'll keep eating until there's nothing left.

We've got to stop it, Seymour!We've got to.

l've got to.

l have to end this once and for all.

l'll bust that pod wide open.

Wait! l'm coming with you.

No, it's me that got us into this.l'm the one to get us out.

Wait for me, Audrey.

This is between me and the vegetable.

''Every household in America! ''Thousands of you, eating!

That's what you had in mindall along, isn't it?

No shit, Sherlock!

We're not talking about one hungry plant.We're talking about world conquest!

And l want to thank you!

You're not going to get away with this!Your kind never does!

l don't care what it takes.Only one of us gets out of here alive!

''Better wait a minute

''You better hold the phone

''Better mind your mannersBetter change your tone

''Don't you threaten me, sonYou got a lot of gall

''We're gonna do things my way

''Or we won't do things at all

''You're in trouble now

''You don't know whatYou're messing with

''You got no idea

''You don't know what you're looking atWhen you're looking here

''You don't know what you're up againstNo, no way, no how

''You don't know whatYou're messing with

''But l'm gonna tell you now

''l'm just a mean, green motherFrom outer space

''And l'm bad''

Outer space?

''And it looks like you've been had

''l'm a just mean, green motherFrom outer space

''So get off my back

''Get out of my face

'''Cause l'm mean and green

''And l am bad

''Want to save your skin, boy?

''You want to save your hide?

''You want to see tomorrow?

''You better step aside

''Better take a tip, boy

''Want some good advice?

''Better take it easy'Cause you're walking on thin ice

''You don't know what you're dealing withNo, you never did

''You don't know what you're looking atBut that's tough titty, kid

''The lion don't sleep tonightAnd if you pull his tail he roars

''You say that ain't fairYou say that ain't nice

''You know what l say,'Up yours!'

''Watch me now!

''l'm just a mean, green motherFrom outer space

''And l'm bad

''l'm just a mean, green motherA real disgrace

''And you got me fighting mad

''l'm just a mean, green motherFrom outer space

''l'm gonna trash your assGonna rock this place

''l'm mean and green

''And l am bad!

''l don't come from no black lagoonl'm from past the stars, beyond the moon

''You can keep the 'Thing'Keep the 'lt'

''Keep the creatureThey don't mean shit''

All right, that does it!

''l got killer buds

A power stem

''Nasty thorns and l'm using themBetter move it out

''Nature calls, you got the pointl'll bust your balls

''l'm mean and green''

Bye-bye, Seymour!

Oh, shit!