LIBRETTO / VOCAL BOOK Josef Weinberger...
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Josef Weinberger Limited Tel: +44 (0)20-7580 2827 Fax: +44 (0)20-7436 9616 [email protected] www.josef-weinberger.com 12 - 14 Mortimer Street London W1T 3JJ By TIM F IRTH Music and Lyrics by MADNESS LIBRETTO / VOCAL BOOK
Transcript of LIBRETTO / VOCAL BOOK Josef Weinberger...
Josef Weinberger Limited
Tel: +44 (0)20-7580 2827 Fax: +44 (0)20-7436 [email protected] www.josef-weinberger.com
12 - 14 Mortimer StreetLondon W1T 3JJ
By TIM FIRTH
Music and Lyrics by MADNESS
LIBRETTO / VOCAL BOOK
OUR HOUSE Book © Copyright 2009 by Tim Firth
Edition © Copyright 2009 by Josef Weinberger Limited, London All Rights Reserved
For individual song copyright details, see appendix.
PHOTOCOPYING THIS COPYRIGHT MATERIAL IS ILLEGAL
Applications to perform this musical must be made, BEFORE REHEARSALS COMMENCE, to:
JOSEF WEINBERGER LIMITED
12 - 14 Mortimer Street London W1T 3JJ United Kingdom
Tel: +44 (0)20 7580 2827 Fax: +44 (0)20 7436 9616 www.josef-weinberger.com
September 2009
by TIM FIRTH
Music and Lyrics by MADNESS
Directed by Matthew Warchus
Choreographed by Peter Darling
Orchestrations by Steve Sidwell Musical Supervisor, Vocal Arrangements and Additional Material: Phil Bateman
World Premiere Performance – 28th October 2002, Cambridge Theatre
CAST 2003 WEST END PRODUCTION 2008 UK TOUR
JOE CASEY Michael Jibson Chris Carswell SARAH Julia Gay Miria Parvin JOE'S DAD Ian Reddington Steve Brookstein KATH CASEY Lesley Nichol Gwyneth Strong LEWIS Oliver Jackson Jack Shalloo EMMO Richard Frame Michael Everest BILLIE Tameka Empson Jenny Fitzpatrick ANGIE Andrea Francis Sophia Nomvete REECEY Matt Cross Sam Mackay MR PRESSMAN Mike Scott Trevor Jary
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Production Notes by TIM FIRTH The main challenge of this musical is of course that it is two musicals. The story splits early on to follow the two paths which Joe Casey’s life could have followed pending a fateful decision he makes on the night of his sixteenth birthday.
The ways of representing those two paths lie at the creative heart of any production. The transfers between the black and the white world increase in speed and require increasing levels of ingenuity. After the experience of two productions, in the West End and then on tour, the main piece of advice I can offer is this: people are primarily interested in other people. The audience watch the cast far more than they watch the set, and three walls turning from black to white to represent the switch from Good Joe’s story to Bad Joe’s story is never going to be as effective as the actor himself simply changing the colour, say, of a baseball hat from black to white.
The musical travels through a young man’s life from the age of sixteen to his early twenties. As such it visits many locations. The emphasis here once again needs to be on ingenuity rather than expense. The cast should be gamefully employed furnishing and creating the many stations passed through en route from terraced houses to penthouses, shops, pubs, schools, car showrooms, even Egyptian-themed hotels in Las Vegas. When writing Our House I deliberately wrote the impossible in the belief that the more you ask from creative people, the more you get. The bigger the challenge, the more people rise to it.
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It is worth remembering that even though in larger scale productions we had a real car and cinematic projection and a whole host of other treats, the two things the audience rose to salute at the end of each show came absolutely for free; ingenuity and energy.
Get these and you are ninety percent of the way to building Our House.
THE PRINCIPAL CAST – Thumbnails
JOE – sixteen, rough diamond but a diamond nonetheless.
SARAH – girl next door, slightly more middle-class background.
EMMO and LEWIS – Joe’s best mates, loosely related to him and taken in by Joe’s Mum. The former is a big kid who would chase sticks if you threw them, the latter a more sensitive lad with a more exposed moral nerve.
BILLIE and ANGIE – Sarah’s best mates, sharp-tongued and sassy with their eyes on a way out of their lowly social beginnings. Intolerant of males, except well-bred ones.
JOE’S MUM, KATH – beaten down by life but never beaten, a heart the size of a house with a huge, feisty love for her family.
JOE’S DAD – a man of fun and spirit who married the right woman but took the wrong. path in life, died as a result, and is now desperate for his son not to repeat the pattern.
REECEY – a smiling, charming, superficially likeable force of darkness.
MISTER PRESSMAN – like Reecey, except middle-aged and in control of a large company.
THE OTHER CHARACTERS – schoolkids, relatives, barristers, clowns, dogs, prisoners, market traders etc – are many in number and can be played by a cast of infinite size. One joy of Our House is that it is hard to conceive of a cast shape in which everyone doesn’t at some point have their moment.
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THE BAND TENOR SAXOPHONE dbl. Flute / Clarinet
TRUMPET dbl. Flugelhorn / Tambourine
KEYBOARD 1 (Musical Director)
KEYBOARD 2
GUITAR
BASS
DRUMS
Notes on the music by PHIL BATEMAN (MUSICAL DIRECTOR) In the West End the band for Our House had 9 players:
3 keyboards, guitar, bass, drums, tenor sax (doubling flute and clarinet for underscore), trumpet and violin.
I would imagine the minimum for a production would be 4 - comprising keyboards, guitar, bass and drums. If you can add a 'dirty' sax and even trumpet you'll really be able to achieve that authentic Madness sound.
Ideally when singing, the actors should try to achieve a 'sung-spoken' quality. The ensemble numbers should sit somewhere between musical theatre and the gusto of a rugby crowd! I hope you have as much fun singing these great songs as we did when we put the show together – enjoy!
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MUSICAL NUMBERS ACT ONE
1. Opening (Instrumental) .....................................................................1 1a. Los Palmas Seven (Underscore) (Instrumental)...................................1 2. Our House (Priest, Joe, Emmo, Lewis, Casey St. Residents) .................3 2a. Our House Playoff (Instrumental) ......................................................9 2b. Balcony Underscore (Instrumental) ..................................................11 3. Simple Equation (Dad) ...................................................................11 4. My Girl (Emmo, Bad Joe, Lewis) .....................................................14 4a. Simple Equation – Reprise (Dad) ...................................................18 4b. Magistrates’ Court (All I Wanted / My Girl) (Kath, Dad, Lads) .......19 5. Baggy Trousers (Reecey, Schoolkids, Mr Jesmond, Bad Joe).................22 5a. Simple Equation – Reprise (Dad) ...................................................26 6. Embarrassment
(Careers Officer, Reecey, Billie, Angie, Emmo, Neighbours, Lewis, Aunt, Uncle, Security Guards, Kath, Grandad, Good Joe) ..................29
6a. Embarrassment Playoff (Instrumental) ............................................32 6b. Baggy Trousers Underscore (Instrumental) ......................................34 7. Embarrassment – Reprise (Encouragement Version) (Bad Joe, Heather, Sales Reps, London Alarms Boss,) ..........................35 7a. Baggy Trousers / Our House Underscore (Instrumental)..................37 8. Driving In My Car (Good Joe, Lewis, Emmo, Billie, Angie, Sarah) ....39 8a-I. My Girl – Reprise (Ballad Version) (Sarah, Dad).............................43 8a-II. Driving In My Car – Reprise (Dad, Bad Joe, Salesman)....................43 8b. After Driving In My Car (Instrumental) ...........................................45 8c. Simple Equation – Reprise (Dad, Chorus) ........................................47 9. The Return Of The Los Palmas Seven (Instrumental) ......................50 10. Shut Up (Reecey, Coppers, Good Joe ) ................................................52 11. Tormorrow’s Just Another Day / The Sun and the Rain (Prisoners, Good Joe, Girls Chorus, Bad Joe, Sarah) ............................56
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ACT TWO 12. Night Boat To Cairo (Dad) ............................................................60 12a. Night Boat (Vegas Underscore) (Instrumental) ................................61 13. Wings Of A Dove (Carib Combo, Billie, Angie, All) ........................62 14. One Better Day (Dad, Good Joe, Chorus, Kath) ...............................64 14a. Our House – Reprise (Good Joe, Dad) ............................................67 15. Rise And Fall (Good Joe, Chorus) .....................................................67 16. House Of Fun / Rise And Fall / My Girl (Bad Joe, Julie, Good Joe, Mr. Pressman, Chorus) ..............................68 16a. Scene Change (Underscore) (Instrumental) .....................................72 17. N.W.5 (Sarah, Dad, Chorus) ...........................................................75 17a. Embarrassment – Reprise (Law Firm) (Clerk, Barrister, Good Joe, Harper, Smith, Massey, Harrassed Small-Time Lawyer.) .......................................................77 17b. Underscore (My Girl / NW5 / Simple Equation) (Sarah, Dad, Chorus) .......................................................................81 18. It Must Be Love (Sarah, Good Joe) ..................................................84 19. The Sun And The Rain – Reprise (Stallholders) (Good Joe, Bad Joe, Stallholders, Chorus) ..........................................86 19a. Simple Equation (Reprise) (Dad, Bad Joe) ......................................92 20. Primrose Hill / Our House (Reprise) (Dad, Good Joe, Company) ....93 21. Bows (Company) .............................................................................97 22. Encore / Play Out (Company) .........................................................97
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OUR HOUSE
1
OUR HOUSE
ACT ONE
MUSIC NO 1: OPENING (Turns into . . . ) MUSIC NO 1a: LOS PALMAS SEVEN (Underscore)
SCENE – Raise curtain to see: A STAGE lit by a GLITTER BALL in which there are MANY COUPLES DANCING. We gradually isolate and spot, in the middle of this, two people far FAR less adept than the others, falling about, having the laugh of their lives. DAD (calls) Leg! Leg! TURN! NOW! (etc.) KATH What? How!? (As he steers her.) Whoa! DAD I’ve told you! KEEP IT STEADY! THIS IS THE SIMPLEST DANCE IN
THE UNIVERSE! (What they’re doing isn’t exactly dancing, more staggering with panache. After only a few further steps, she trips and falls into his arms in fits of laughter. With theatrical aplomb, DAD lets her fall back like in some classy fandango.)
KATH Listen, will you just stop it! I’ve got something to tell you! DAD (tries to carry on, laughing) It can’t be more important than this! KATH It is! It is! STOP! (Holds him at arm’s length.) Y’r going to be a dad. (A moment of wonder. DAD lets her stand as though she’s porcelain.) DAD Y’r kidding. (In wonder.) An’ it’s definitely mine? KATH (deadpan) It’s either yours or Clint Eastwood’s.
OUR HOUSE
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DAD Oh God. Oh wow. (With rapture.) We might be having Clint Eastwood’s baby!
KATH (hits him) Oi! So are you gonna ask me to marry y’, then or what? (Pause. Then DAD smiles.)
DAD You betcha. (Fireworks go up behind them as we hear . . . ) MAESTRO (V.O.) Ladeeeez and gennulmen. The winnerz of our dance contest. Our King and
Queen-n . . .
(The SPOTLIGHT strafes the dancers . . . ) MAESTRO (V.O. Cont’d) The greatest dancers in the world on Margate pier tonight . . . couple
number-r-r fifteen!
(They look at each other, fall about laughing as A PHOTOGRAPHER takes a photo. They strike a comic pose for it. The flash cues a sudden light change . . . )
JOE (O.S.) MUM!
(Music ends . . . as KATH’s DAYDREAM ENDS and JOE CASEY appears all
in the same beat - raggy school uniform, sixteen, rough diamond. But a diamond nonetheless.)
JOE Ha hey-y! (He is on high octane, rushes on, grabs mum and dances a few steps with her,
just like DAD did. Singing his own accompaniment . . . ) La da di dah-dah-dahh . . .
(DAD backs off and watches. At this point we don’t know he cannot see DAD.)
KATH Here he is, the birthday boy!
OUR HOUSE
3
JOE I’ve got something to tell y’!
(He puts MUM in exactly the same fandango position as DAD did.)
KATH WHOA!
JOE She said - YES!
KATH Oh did she now! And have you checked that I approve of this girl?
JOE She’s coming - on a DATE!
KATH This the wonderful ‘Sarah’?
JOE (suddenly serious) Hey you don’t think it’s like charity? Like – she’s only agreed ‘cause it’s my sixteenth birthday?
KATH She’s agreed, Joe Casey, because any girl’d be mad not to. (Strokes his hair.) And you take her dancing. That’s what your dad did with me.
JOE (change of mood, loses all thought of dancing) Yeah well. Not sure following in me Dad’s footsteps is exactly a good start, do you?
KATH (straightens his hair) Eh, he was alright, y’r dad. He was just a good man who made a few bad choices.
JOE (straightens hers back) It’s not hard to make the right choices, Mum. There’s a wrong way and a right way. It’s a pretty simple equation.
(There is a DOORBELL.)
MUSIC NO 2: OUR HOUSE JOE Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got about ten minutes before Sarah arrives . . .
(Starts to take tie off.) . . . so I hope you’ve not arranged for anyone to call round?
KATH Now would I arrange that? For my son? On his sixteenth birthday?
(The PRIEST is at the door with a present.)
OUR HOUSE
4
PRIEST Happy Birthday Joe!
JOE (wry smile) FATHER WEARS HIS SUNDAY BEST.
KATH Oh now look who’s turned up.
JOE (trying to steer her and the PRIEST away) MOTHER’S TIRED, SHE NEEDS A REST
THE KIDS ARE PLAYING UP DOWNSTAIRS.
(A SKATEBOARDER razzes past.)
KATH (to SKATEBOARDER) Oi!
PRIEST (ushering in a NUN) SISTER’S SIGHING IN HER SLEEP.
NUN I remember him when he was this little . . .
JOE (‘himself’) BROTHER’S GOT A DATE TO KEEP HE CAN’T HANG AROUND.
(JOE opens the door to find EMMO and LEWIS there with PRESENTS.) EMMO + LEWIS HAHAEYYY!
OUR HOUSE JOE (sighs) Emmo. Lewis.
EMMO + LEWIS IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR STREET
OUR HOUSE IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR –
(EMMO and LEWIS re-open the door almost instantaneously to reveal a whole party of people who keep flooding in. In this melee, did we but realise, DAD has been lost totally. JOE is trying to get out, but everyone is keeping him in!)
EVERYONE Ha hey!
JOE OUR HOUSE IT HAS A CROWD. THERE’S ALWAYS SOMETHING HAPPENING AND IT’S USUALLY QUITE LOUD. OUR MUM, SHE’S SO HOUSE-PROUD.
OUR HOUSE
5
KATH Meaning what?
EMMO + LEWIS (arm round her) NOTHING EVER SLOWS HER DOWN AND A MESS IS NOT ALLOWED.
KATH Dead right.
EVERYONE OUR HOUSE IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR STREET
OUR HOUSE IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR – OUR HOUSE IS OUR CASTLE AND OUR KEEP OUR HOUSE IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR –
(Underscore continues.)
KATH I’ll give you ‘house proud’. You spread word round Camden that this street is a no-go zone for any of them scummy drug dealers.
LADS (stand to attention) Yes.
KATH This is not just any street.
LADS No.
KATH This is Casey Street.
LADS Yes!
KATH NW 1.
LADS Yes!
KATH No-one touches that name.
EVERYONE OUR HOUSE IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR STREET OUR HOUSE IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR – OUR HOUSE IS OUR CASTLE AND OUR KEEP OUR HOUSE IN THE MIDDLE OF – NUR NUR, NUR NUR, NUR NUR, NUR NUR NUR NUR, NUR NUR, NUR NUR, NUR NUR
OUR HOUSE
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(CASEY STREET INHABITANTS join in the dance, which is urban, informal and comic.)
CASEY STREET INHABITANTS NA NA NA NA-NA-NA / NAAAA
AY-YAH-YAH- / YAHHHH NA NA NA NA-NA-NA / NAAAA AY-YAH-YAH- / YAHHHH NA NA NA NA-NA-NA / NAAAA AY-YAH-YAH- / YAHHHH NA NA NA NA-NA-NA / NAAAA AY-YAH-YAH- / YAHHHH
EVERYONE NANA NANA NANA NAA NANA NANA NANA NAA NA NA NA NA-NA NA NA NA NA-NA NA NA NA-NA NA NA NA NANA NANA NANA NAA NANA NANA NANA NAA NA NA NA NA-NA NA NA NA NA-NA NA NA NA-NA NA NA NAAAAA
(Very spare percussive underscore.)
JOE Okay. She must be coming. These are her mates.
(Enter BILLIE and ANGIE in their customised school uniforms.)
LEWIS (arms wide like a gigolo) Ha heyyy! Billie and Angie Morton!
(BILLIE and ANGIE pose the same . . . )
BILLIE / ANGIE Ha heyyy! Tall and ugly bastard. (They beckon in . . .) Sarah?
(SARAH bounds in . . .)
OUR HOUSE
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SARAH Hey Joe!
( . . . but is steered away by BILLIE and ANGIE)
ANGIE (swerves SARAH away from JOE) Right. One little word of warning.
BILLIE How can we put this?
ANGIE We deserve a man with prospects.
BILLIE We’re not gonna find any round here.
ANGIE We MIGHT if YOU get to university.
BILLIE You won’t get to university if you’re six months up the duff.
SARAH (is handed a bag) What’s that?
ANGIE ‘The Femsafe Femidom’.
BILLIE It’s like having sex with an Asda bag, but it’s okay.
SARAH (did his mum hear?) Girls!
(Meanwhile EMMO and LEWIS have got JOE similarly to one side . . . )
LEWIS As like adopted brothers we felt a certain responsibility, it being your sixteenth birthday an’ all that.
EMMO (produces it) We have bought you the world’s CLASSIEST condom!
JOE (did mum hear?) Lads?
LEWIS It’s called ‘The Surprise Harmony’.
EMMO It is the princess of condoms.
JOE Is it luminous?
EMMO No.
OUR HOUSE
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JOE Colour?
EMMO Normal.
JOE Flavour?
EMMO None.
JOE (s.v.) Right. (Puts it in pocket.) Why’s it called ‘The Surprise Harmony’ ?
EMMO When you reach orgasm it plays ‘The Power Of Love’.
JOE WHAT?
EVERYONE OUR HOUSE IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR STREET OUR HOUSE IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR - OUR HOUSE IS OUR CASTLE AND OUR KEEP OUR HOUSE IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR -
EVERYONE (Cont’d) WELCOME TO THE HOUSE OF FUN
WELCOME TO THE LION’S DEN WELCOME TO THE HOUSE OF FUN, NOW I’VE COME OF AGE WELCOME TO THE LION’S DEN TEMPTATION’S ON ITS WAY WELCOME TO THE HOUSE OF FUN. NOW YOU’VE COME OF AGE WELCOME TO THE LION’S DEN
EVERYONE (Cont’d) OUR HOUSE
IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR STREET OUR HOUSE IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR OUR HOUSE
OUR HOUSE
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IS OUR CASTLE AND OUR KEEP OUR HOUSE IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR OUR HOUSE IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR OUR HOUSE
SARAH Sixteen, Joe! Where d’you go when you can go anywhere?
JOE (points at her) Somewhere very special!
EVERYONE . . . IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR STREET!
MUSIC NO 2a: OUR HOUSE PLAYOFF SCENE – PENTHOUSE FLAT A STORM breaks. Thunder and lightening. A door has a HUGE HAMMERING noise at the other side of it. We wonder what the hell is going on until – BANG – it falls flat, knocked off its hinges by . . . JOE! JOE Quick! Out of the rain! Out of the rain!
(SARAH peeps round the door.)
JOE (Cont’d) (meaning the rain) Bleargh. Where did THAT all come from?
SARAH (hushed whisper) JOE!
JOE Storm came out of . . . (Gestures.) Come in-n!
SARAH You just broke in!
JOE I didn’t ‘break’ – I just – (Looks at door hanging off.) – it’d just swelled with
the rain. Look at . . . (Pulls out his wallet.) Oh god. My wallet! My trousers are SOAKED.
OUR HOUSE
10
SARAH You can’t just – (Frowns.) What’s that noise? Can you hear something? Can you hear ‘The Power Of Love’?
(Pause. We can indeed hear the tinny single line of ‘The Power Of Love’. JOE immediately realises where it’s coming from and puts his hand in his back pocket.)
JOE Anyway. This is what I wanted to show you. (He throws the condom away over the drop.)
SARAH Y’ve caused real damage here, Joe.
JOE (cocky) Don’t worry. I don’t bruise easy. I work out quite a lot, so . . .
SARAH I mean the door! This is breaking and entry . . .
JOE No-one’s rented these flats yet.
SARAH (going, but unsure) But they still belong to someone. They still belong to
whoever . . . (Looks round.) ‘Pressman Developers’.
JOE I know. Like everything round here suddenly. Well I tell you what. You wanna see some REAL builders? (Nods out over the view.) Why I brought you up here. My mum’s family built that.
(SARAH looks at him.)
JOE (Cont’d) The whole estate. My great-great-grandad was a gang leader building the Irish Estate, so good they named a street after him. Casey Street. (Slight pause.) There’s even some story Mum goes on about that they gave him the house, y’know. Our house. See? With the red door?
(Beat.)
SARAH I thought you were taking me somewhere ‘very special’.
(There’s a pause. JOE looks down.)
OUR HOUSE
11
JOE Your mates think I’m gonna end up like me dad, don’t they? I suppose they’ve told y’?
SARAH (they have) He went to prison.
JOE (nods, wry smile) Thought they would. (A beat.) Yeah he went to prison. Lost his job. Started . . . ‘making bad choices’, went to prison . . . then when he came out of prison he never came home.
SARAH Where is he now?
MUSIC NO 2b: BALCONY UNDERSCORE
(DAD appears.)
SARAH Joe?
JOE He died.
SARAH (beat) How?
JOE A loser and a scumbag, Sarah. That’s ‘how’.
(Music ends.) SARAH (moves in on JOE) You know where I’m gonna ‘end up’, Joe Casey? I’m
gonna go into law. An’ you know why? Because regardless of what people tell me I reckon I’m a pretty good judge of character.
(There is the sound of truncheon on scaffold.)
VOICE (O.S.) This is the Police!
MUSIC NO 3: SIMPLE EQUATION (A torchlight starts to rake the balcony.)
SARAH Oh my God.
OUR HOUSE
12
VOICE (O.S.) Is someone in there?
SARAH Joe I won’t get into law at ALL if I get arrested.
VOICE (O.S.) Oi!
SARAH That’ll be the END! I won’t be able to, ever! What are we gonna do?
JOE Run. We’d probably never get found out!
SARAH But if we did, Joe! IF WE DID . . . ?
VOICE WHO’S IN THERE?
(He pushes SARAH back to the door he barged down. She resists.)
JOE Okay, YOU go.
SARAH JOE!
JOE RUN!
SARAH But what are YOU going to do, Joe Casey?
(At that point the stage FILLS with rotating doors, black to white to black to white . . . )
DAD What are you going to do, Joe Casey?
(JOE is wracked. He pushes SARAH out.)
JOE GO!
DAD Golden boy?
(Those doors keep gyrating, like a representation of the options whirling in the mind of this sixteen year old. Suddenly the space becomes ethereal, otherworldly.)
OUR HOUSE
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DAD Run and make the escape of a criminal?
(He stops a SINGLE BLACK DOOR gyrating and presents it as an option.)
DAD Stay and surrender like an honest man?
(He stops a SINGLE WHITE DOOR gyrating and presents that as a contrary option. DAD is so close he can practically touch his son and we can see he is drawn to do that.)
DAD ‘It’s not hard to make the right choices, Mum. There’s a wrong way and a right way. It’s a pretty simple equation!’
(DAD slams the two contrasting doors together, and with a crack of lightening, they touch . . . and JOE splits in two, one JOE in white - GOOD JOE - and one in black - BAD JOE.)
DAD IT’S THE SIMPLE EQUATION OF WRONG VERSUS RIGHT
PROBLEM AS EASY AS BLACK VERSUS WHITE THE SIMPLE EQUATION OF NIGHT VERSUS DAY FACING THE MUSIC, OR RUNNING AWAY . . .
(The BLACK JOE bursts through the black door. All the doors, currently a mixture of black and white, ARE TURNED TO BLACK, so we are now in a BLACK WORLD.)
DAD ’CAUSE WITHOUT LOW THERE IS NO HIGH
IF NOTHING FELL THERE’D BE NO SKY IS IT ALWAYS SO VERY CLEAR?
(+ B.V.) IT’S THE DAYS THAT SEPARATE THE NIGHT THE SHADOWS BY WHICH WE RECOGNISE THE LIGHT.
(Music ends. BAD JOE stands panting, regaining his breath as SARAH appears slowly, dreadfully, dress torn, face cut, holding her arm.)
BAD JOE We did it! We got away. HA! WE DID A RUNNER AND WE GOT – (He sees the damage. Pause.) Oh God. Are you Okay? (He goes to tend to her. She backs off.) What?
OUR HOUSE
14
SARAH I can’t believe you did that. I can’t believe you ran away. I thought I knew you. I don’t know you at all, do I?
BAD JOE We didn’t get caught. It’s not like we got caught. We . . .
SARAH (indicating her ripped blazer) A policeman did that, Joe. That’s how close I was. You probably didn’t notice. You were fifty metres across the building site.
(SARAH starts to go . . . )
BAD JOE Sarah . . . I –
(. . . then turns.)
SARAH Actually maybe I’m not cut out for law. Maybe I’m not such a good judge of character.
MUSIC NO 4: MY GIRL
BAD JOE Sarah? Sarah! (He races off.)
SCENE – IRISH THEME PUB, CAMDEN EMMO is revealed, pissed, at a table loaded with whiskies.
EMMO MY GIRL’S MAD AT ME.
I DIDN’T WANT TO SEE THE FILM TONIGHT. I FOUND IT HARD TO SAY. SHE THOUGHT I’D HAD ENOUGH OF HER. WHY CAN’T SHE SEE. SHE’S LOVELY TO ME? BUT I LIKE TO STAY IN AND WATCH TV ON MY OWN EVERY NOW AND THEN.
(BAD JOE enters the pub. He is in his black track suit and cap.)
EMMO (Cont’d) Alright Joe?
OUR HOUSE
15
BAD JOE MY GIRL’S MAD AT ME BEEN ON THE TELEPHONE FOR AN HOUR WE HARDLY SAID A WORD I TRIED AND TRIED BUT I COULD NOT BE HEARD. WHY CAN’T I EXPLAIN?
EMMO WHY CAN’T SHE SEE?
BAD JOE WHY DO I FEEL THIS PAIN?
EMMO SHE’S LOVELY TO ME BUT I LIKE TO STAY IN –
BAD JOE SHE DOESN’T UNDERSTAND
EMMO AND WATCH TV ON MY OWN –
BAD JOE SHE TAKES IT ALL THE WRONG . . .
(In bursts LEWIS.)
LEWIS Wahey! How y’ doing laddos? (Sits.) Bloody hell. I tell y’ . . . (Breathes in.) . . . MY GIRL -
(Music breaks.) BAD JOE + EMMO Doesn’t exist.
LEWIS Fair point. (Music resumes.) Pint of lager, Dave. So how come y’r not out
with what’s her face? EMMO (‘shut up’) Nggrshttup.
BAD JOE Because she’s not my girl anymore, is she?
LEWIS Eh?
EMMO She should be his girl but . . . (she’s –)
OUR HOUSE
16
BAD JOE She should be, . . . (but she’s –)
EMMO She’s mad at him.
LEWIS Really?
BAD JOE WE TALKED AND TALKED UNTIL IT WAS LIGHT . . . EMMO Gets to like where he thinks it’s agreed an’ all . . .
BAD JOE I THOUGHT WE’D AGREED.
EMMO He thought they’d talked over it all. An’ then goes an’ says that – BAD JOE I THOUGHT WE’D TALKED IT OUT.
EMMO ’Course now when he tries . . . (to say anything at all about the whole – )
BAD JOE NOW WHEN I TRY TO SPEAK . . .
EMMO She sort of says –
BAD JOE I DON’T CARE.
EMMO She says . . . (he’s . . .)
BAD JOE ‘I’M UNAWARE’
EMMO And now . . . (she says he’s . . .)
BAD JOE SHE SAYS ‘I’M WEAK’.
(EMMO and LEWIS wince.)
BARTENDER DAVE Alright lads. Y’ve had enough.
EMMO I’ve not.
OUR HOUSE
17
BAD JOE I’m fine.
LEWIS I’ve only had one whisky.
(They all get off their barstools . . .)
BAD JOE / EMMO / LEWIS Hurp.
( . . . And realise they ARE pissed. In trying to get up they end up choreographed.)
(Music continues – DANCE OF THE PISSED)
SCENE – CAMDEN CANAL They end up in the moonlight in a shabby parade of male bonding.
LADS LA LA LA LAAAAA
NA NA NA NA NA NAAAA . . . LA LA LA LA LA LAAA NA NA NAAA NA NA NAAA NA NA NAAA-AAA . . .
(BAD JOE, EMMO and LEWIS collapse on each other.)
LEWIS At the end of the day who needs women? I don’t.
BAD JOE Lewis, you don’t need women in the same way someone who’s never had a chocolate biscuit doesn’t ‘need’ a chocolate biscuit.
EMMO I love chocolate biscuits.
(BAD JOE eases himself up . . . )
BAD JOE WHY DO I FEEL THIS PAIN?
(Underscore carries the tune.)
OUR HOUSE
18
SHE DOESN’T UNDERSTAND SHE DOESN’T REALISE SHE TAKES IT ALL . . .
(DAD appears again.)
DAD THE WRONG . . .
MUSIC NO 4a: SIMPLE EQUATION - REPRISE . . . WAY (A thundercrack, and gradually that etheral, cloud-sculling, otherwordly space
returns. The stage is filled with rotating doors which not only clear BAD JOE, EMMO and LEWIS, but return us to the exact same point we were in the Penthouse Flat, at the exact same moment of split.)
SCENE – PENTHOUSE FLAT DAD IT’S THE SIMPLE EQUATION, LIKE NIGHT VERSUS DAY?
OF OWNING UP NEATLY, OR RUNNING AWAY? SO WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED, THAT CAMDEN TOWN
NIGHT IF GOLDEN BOY JOE TOOK THE PATH THAT SEEMED RIGHT?
(This time the WHITE JOE, now known as GOOD JOE, animates and goes through the white door. The mixed doors are suddenly all turned to white. We are now in the WHITE WORLD.)
DAD ’CAUSE WITHOUT LOVE THERE IS NO HIGH WITHOUT LOVE NO STARS NO SKY WILL THIS RISE WHERE THAT ONE FELL IS IT SO HARD TO TELL?
(The music is cut abruptly short by the strike of the MAGISTRATE’S gavel . . . )
SCENE – MAGISTRATES’ COURT
MAGISTRATE (hits gavel) Quiet please.
OUR HOUSE
19
GOOD JOE Your honour, I did break into the flat but I didn’t nick any stuff, I was just – to be honest I was trying to impress my girlfriend by showing her – you see – actually it is quite interesting – my family BUILT the Irish estate –
JOE’S SOLICITOR (shutting him up) My client then showed admirable moral fibre in staying to
give himself up, in light of which we plead for leniency.
MAGISTRATE Right. Well. I will consider that plea, provided there are no further submissions?
COUNCIL SOLICITOR There is an additional submission in this case. The council are aware that
Pressman Developments Ltd is failing to secure any purchasers for their ‘Camden Quays’ developments and feel that criminal activity, however petty, is contributing towards a general sense of urban malaise. As a result they are urging local magistrates to hand down short custodial sentences . . .
MUSIC NO 4b: MAGISTRATES’ COURT – ALL I WANTED / MY GIRL DAD (seems surprised) ‘Custodial’?
GOOD JOE ‘Custodial’? You mean like . . . prison?
SCENE – YOUNG OFFENDERS INSTITUTE Enter a very cheery YOUTH CUSTODY OFFICER.
YOUTH CUSTODY OFFICER No no no no no, we don’t use the ‘P’ word, Mrs Casey.
(Clunk. GOOD JOE is suddenly at a table. KATH is led to the table as if at
visiting.) YOUTH CUSTODY OFFICER This is a ‘correctional facility’. We really believe in building up a positive
self-image with our young clients. If they see themselves as criminals at the age of sixteen then that’s how the rest of society will see them. We want to send them out of here saying (cheerily) ‘My name’s Joe Casey, ex-young offender, wiser, stonger, prouder!’
OUR HOUSE
20
KATH (hugging him) Ohhhh baby.
YOUTH CUSTODY OFFICER (sudden change of tone) That doesn’t mean you’re allowed to touch him.
(KATH can’t even hug him, and has to defy all her instincts to move away.)
KATH I did bring you a cake but they wouldn’t let me in with it. (Pause.) They let
other mothers in with theirs, they just said mine was too crap.
(GOOD JOE smiles.)
GOOD JOE Hi, mum. (Underscore continues. A beat. KATH looks across at the son she can’t touch.)
KATH You’ll do right. You will do right, golden boy, Joe Casey, you are. (Smiles.)
And I’m not the only girl in Camden who thinks that.
GOOD JOE We’re sixteen, Mum. This is the summer they always go on about. (Slight pause.) Sarah would be mad to wait.
(Time’s up. They are parted by the ‘staff’ and GOOD JOE is led off.)
KATH ALL I WANTED WAS A WORD
DAD ANOTHER LOOK, A MOMENT MORE
KATH ALL I WANTED WAS A WORD
DAD A CHANCE TO ASK WHAT IS THIS FOR?
(DAD starts the doors spinning again.)
KATH ALL I WANTED WAS A WORD
DAD WHEN BOTH THE WRONG PATH AND THE RIGHT
KATH ALL I WANTED WAS A WORD
OUR HOUSE
21
DAD LEAVE HIM LONELY IN THE NIGHT
(We are now BACK in the BLACK WORLD, where we were before, with BAD JOE, EMMO and LEWIS. Music continues.)
SCENE – CAMDEN CANAL
BAD JOE WHY DO I FEEL THIS PAIN?
(Underscore carries the tune).
BAD JOE (Cont’d) SHE DOESN’T UNDERSTAND
SHE DOESN’T REALISE SHE TAKES IT ALL THE WRONG (WAY . . . )
REECEY (O.S.) Well well well.
(REECEY appears in the shadows.)
EMMO Oh God. It’s Reecey.
LEWIS Alright, mate?
REECEY (smiles) Good night girls.
EMMO Absolutely. Come on big man.
(EMMO scoops LEWIS off. REECEY gestures BAD JOE to stay behind. He does so.)
BAD JOE Alright, Reecey.
REECEY Don’t cry over spilt women, mate. Plenty of fish in the sea. (Smiles.) Y’ll always get something after y’r tackle.
(Pause.)
REECEY Billie and Angie said you got into one of the new flats up Camden Quays.
OUR HOUSE
22
BAD JOE Oh well. That. Wwwwell I . . . sort of –
REECEY Very impressive. (He stalks BAD JOE, smiling all the time.) Ever thought of the future, Joby?
BAD JOE What, you mean like . . . after exams?
(REECEY laughs, then checks himself. Pulls a ‘serious’ face.)
BAD JOE What?
REECEY (stalks him) Sorry. I mean, sure. You COULD do exams. (Walks round.) Alternatively you could come work with me. I’m starting up a little ‘business venture’.
BAD JOE You mean . . . leave school early?
REECEY Men of sixteen, now mate. Everything’s legal. (Arm round BAD JOE.) You’ve seen what them penthouses are like now, Joe. Next time you walk into one, own it. (A beat.) No-one ever made money workin’ for someone else, Joe Casey. If I were you I’d forget ‘exams’. An’ tell myself that as of today . . . school’s out! (He reaches up and ever so casually taps a ‘school bell’ with his fingers. It forms the bell-intro to:)
MUSIC NO 5: BAGGY TROUSERS (Two SCHOOLGIRLS rush in to get REECEY to sign their shirts.)
SCHOOLGIRL 1 Ree-ecey!
SCHOOLGIRL 2 Sign me shirt. Sign me shirt!
REECEY NAUGHTY BOYS IN NASTY SCHOOLS
HEADMASTERS BREAKING ALL THE RULES HAVING FUN AND PLAYING FOOLS SMASHING UP THE WOODWORK TOOLS. ALL THE TEACHERS IN THE PUB PASSING ROUND THE READY RUB TRYING NOT TO THINK OF WHEN THE LUNCHTIME BELL WILL RING AGAIN.
OUR HOUSE
23
OH WHAT FUN WE HAD BUT DID IT REALLY TURN OUT BAD? ALL I LEARNT AT SCHOOL WAS HOW TO BEND NOT BREAK
THE RULE
+ SCHOOLKIDS OH WHAT FUN WE HAD BUT AT THE TIME IT SEEMED SO BAD TRYING DIFFERENT WAYS TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE TO
THE DAYS.
REECEY THE HEADMASTER’S HAD ENOUGH TODAY
MR JESMOND ALL THE KIDS HAVE GONE AWAY GONE TO FIGHT WITH NEXT DOOR’S SCHOOL
REECEY (shrugs) EVERY TERM THAT IS THE RULE.
GANG SITS ALONE AND BENDS HIS CANE SAME OLD BACKSIDES AGAIN
REECEY ALL THE SMALL ONES TELL TALL TALES WALKING HOME AN’ SQUASHING SNAILS. OH WHAT FUN WE HAD BUT DID IT REALLY TURN OUT BAD ALL I LEARNT AT SCHOOL WAS HOW TO BEND NOT BREAK
THE RULE.
SCHOOLKIDS OH WHAT FUN WE HAD BUT AT THE TIME IT SEEMED SO BAD TRYING DIFFERENT WAYS TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE TO THE DAYS.
(MR JESMOND enters and the desks swing to him. A fag packet is thrown into the desk.)
MR JESMOND The last day of school is in so many ways the first day of the rest of your life. (Under . . . ) And here I’d urge you to remember the prospects that . . .
OUR HOUSE
24
SCHOOLKIDS (counting the clock down) EIGHT. SEVEN. SIX. FIVE. FOUR, THREE, TWO, ONE . . .
( . . . the bell goes . . . )
MASSED SCHOOLKIDS (strike the pose) FREEDOM-M!
(Music continues – THE DANCE OF THE LAST DAY AT SCHOOL) SCHOOLKIDS LOTS OF GIRLS AND LOTS OF BOYS
LOTS OF SMELLS AND LOTS OF NOISE PLAYING FOOTBALL IN THE PARK KICKING PUSHBIKES AFTER DARK. BAGGY TROUSERS, DIRTY SHIRTS PULLING HAIR AND EATING DIRT TEACHER COMES TO BREAK IT UP BACK OF THE HEAD WITH A PLASTIC CUP.
(Everyone goes angelic. White light.)
SCHOOLKIDS (Cont’d) (hands together, choir-like) OH WHAT FUN WE HAD
BUT DID IT REALLY TURN OUT BAD ALL I LEARNT AT SCHOOL
WAS HOW TO BEND NOT BREAK THE RULE.
(Normal music returns.)
SCHOOLKIDS (Cont’d) OH WHAT FUN WE HAD
BUT AT THE TIME IT SEEMED SO BAD. TRYING DIFFERENT WAYS TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE TO THE –
(Dance Break.)
SCHOOLKIDS (Cont’d) OH WHAT FUN WE HAD
BUT AT THE TIME IT SEEMED SO BAD
OUR HOUSE
25
TRYING DIFFERENT WAYS TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE TO THE –
REECEY WELCOME TO THE LION’S DEN, TEMPTATION’S ON HIS WAY
WELCOME TO THE LION’S DEN, TEMPTATION’S ON HIS WAY . . .
+ BAD JOE WELCOME TO THE LION’S DEN, TEMPTATION’S ON HIS WAY
WELCOME TO THE LION’S DEN, TEMPTATION’S ON HIS WAY . . .
+ SCHOOLKIDS (2)
BAGGY TROUSERS. BAGGY TROUSERS. BAGGY TROUSERS. TEMPTATION’S ON HIS WAY BAGGY TROUSERS. BAGGY TROUSERS BAGGY TROUSERS. TEMPTATION’S ON HIS WAY
+ SCHOOLKIDS (3) (Cont’d) SCHOOL’S OUT
NA NA NA NA NA NA NA SCHOOL’S OUT NA NA NA NA NA NA NA
ALL (rising) WOH-H-H-H-H HAH! HAH! HAH! HAH! HAH! HAH! OH WHAT FUN WE HAD BUT AT THE TIME IT SEEMED SO BAD TRYING DIFFERENT WAYS TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE TO THE - BAGGY TROUSERS. BAGGY TROUSERS. BAGGY TROUSERS. NA NA NA NA-A-A-A W-OI!
(A tableau centred round BAD JOE and REECEY, arms round each other.)
OUR HOUSE
26
SCENE – RAY’S CAR PARLOUR MUSIC NO 5a: SIMPLE EQUATION (Reprise)
(DAD enters with bunting.)
DAD (colla voce) IT’S A SIMPLE EQUATION – YOU GOTTA EXPECT
(Whilst doing this, DAD sets up some car showroom bunting, and as he does, sets the doors to spin . . . spin . . . spin and all TURN TO WHITE. DAD now controls all we see. And we are now in the GOOD JOE story.)
CORRECTIONAL INSTITUTES MAKE YOU ‘CORRECT’. SURELY YOU’RE GOING TO EMERGE IN A WORLD WHERE YOU’RE ON THE RIGHT PATH - RIGHT MATES . . . RIGHT GIRL? (On come EMMO and LEWIS in brightly-coloured jump suits. Music ends.)
EMMO This is NUTS. This is just - why the hell are we at work on the day Joe gets out?
LEWIS Well largely because today’s also our first day in this job, and that’s not a
great day to take a sickie. (A shark con man of 43, RAY, comes on.)
RAY (in one breath) Right. The art of car-washing is a much maligned and underestimated art, there’s far more to it than sloshing water on, waxing the bonnet and rubbing tyre-black on the wheels I’m lying of course, there’s the water, the wax an’ the tyre black, off y’ go. (RAY goes straight off again.)
LEWIS Told y’ there wouldn’t be a long training period.
EMMO He hasn’t even asked about me GCSE results. I mean I could be anyone. I could just run off with this bucket.
OUR HOUSE
27
(There’s a car honk-k the other side. They look . . . )
EMMO Ohhhh my Goddd it’s not, please tell me it’s not-t-t . . . (REECEY strides across the stage.)
REECEY Alright girls?
EMMO + LEWIS (immediately try to be cool) Alright Reecey.
(REECEY gets and takes a phone call . . . )
BILLIE (entering) Well well well.
ANGIE It’s the water monkeys.
EMMO (s.v.) Why d’you bring Reecey here to get his car washed?
LEWIS That is so unfair. You knew it was our first day.
ANGIE No we didn’t.
BILLIE Did we?
BILLIE + ANGIE Oh no, we did.
(SARAH rushes in, dragging GOOD JOE).
SARAH GUYS, GUYS! Look who’s back!
EMMO + LEWIS Heyy-y!
(EMMO and LEWIS run towards him, then remember they’re blokes and shake his hand.)
BILLIE Well well.
OUR HOUSE
28
ANGIE So Joe. How was prison?
SARAH It wasn’t ‘prison’. It was a Young Offenders Institute.
BILLIE Right. (Nods to ANGIE.) ‘Starter Prison’.
EMMO Hey yeah. D’y get beat up with socks full of snooker balls, an’ is there like one bloke who gets stuff sent in from outside an’ you all have to give him a bit of your chocolate and his cell’s got a carpet and all the warders are nicer to him an’ he’s called like ‘King’ or something?
GOOD JOE No.
EMMO (genuinely disappointed) Shame.
GOOD JOE You learn things, mate. That’s what it’s ‘like’.
ANGIE (archly) Oo really? You did exams?
GOOD JOE (patiently) Y’don’t have to have exams to do every job in the world, do y’?
BILLIE That’s true.
BILLIE + ANGIE (gestures EMMO and LEWIS) Ta-da-a-a!
LEWIS (points) Hey yeah! We could have a word with Ray!
EMMO (cockily) Yeah, see the art of car-washing is a much maligned art . . .
REECEY Alternatively –
(They all turn as REECEY swaggers forwards, pocketing his phone.) . . . he could come and work with me. (Smiles.) As it happens I’m starting up a little ‘business venture’.
GOOD JOE It’s . . . okay, Reecey. I’m not getting into any of that. (To the others.) See, what they teach y’ in there is pride. (Grandly.) So y’can come out an’ stand in front the world and say ‘Hey. (Gestures ‘himself’.) My name’s Joe Casey. Ex-young offender. Take me or leave me!’
OUR HOUSE
29
SCENE – CAREERS OFFICE
MUSIC NO 6: EMBARRASSMENT (REECEY theatrically ‘reveals’ an Employment Office worker, the CAREERS OFFICER.)
CAREERS OFFICER RECEIVED A LETTER JUST THE OTHER DAY.
GOOD JOE Here we go!
REECEY (takes letter, in mock surprise)
DON’T SEEM THEY WANNA KNOW YOU NO MORE.
GOOD JOE Y’what? REECEY THEY LAID IT DOWN GIVING YOU THEIR SCORE
WITHIN THE FIRST TWO LINES IT BLUNTLY READ . . . (He rather cockily passes it to ANGIE).
ANGIE (takes it and reads) YOU’RE NOT TO COME SEE US NO MORE.
BILLIE KEEP AWAY FROM OUR DOOR
BILLIE + ANGIE DON’T COME ROUND HERE NO MORE.
WHAT ON EARTH DID Y’ DO THAT FOR?
GOOD JOE Eh?
SCENE – CASEY STREET
EMMO (indicates door opening)
OUR AUNT SHE DON’T WANNA KNOW, SHE SAYS . . .
AUNT (opens door on . . . ) WHAT WILL THE NEIGHBOURS THINK? THEY’LL THINK . . .
OUR HOUSE
30
NEIGHBOURS WE DON’T.
AUNT THAT’S WHAT THEY’LL THINK
NEIGHBOURS WE DON’T.
AUNT BUT I WILL, ’CAUSE I KNOW THEY THINK I DON’T. (LEWIS opens a door on a SHABBY SLOB OF AN UNCLE drinking beer in his vest, scratching his bollocks.)
LEWIS OUR UNCLE HE DON’T WANNA KNOW, HE SAYS
SHABBY UNCLE WE ARE A DISGRACE TO THE HUMAN RACE . . .
LEWIS HE SAYS . . .
SHABBY UNCLE HOW CAN YOU SHOW YOUR FACE
WHEN YOU’RE A DISGRACE TO THE HUMAN RACE? (Underscore continues. SARAH pep-talks GOOD JOE as a MAN IN A DOG COSTUME appears at a desk.)
SARAH Go on. Best of luck. Keep smiling. (She kisses him and goes.)
DOG MAN Joe, seriously it’s great you’re interested in being a shelf stacker here at Oscar’s Toy Farm. You think you’d fit in?
GOOD JOE Oh definitely. I love this kind of environment.
DOG MAN Great!
GOOD JOE I love kids. I’ve got enormous commitment.
DOG MAN Hoo hoo! (Underscore stops.)
OUR HOUSE
31
GOOD JOE (ebulliently) I’m also very proud to stand here in front of you and say that I’m a reformed young offender. (Pause. The DOG’S ears shoot up. Two SECURITY GUARDS burst in.)
SECURITY GUARDS NO COMMITMENT, YOU’RE AN EMBARRASSMENT
YES AN EMBARRASSMENT, A LIVING ENDORSEMENT.
GOOD JOE Get off, just –
SECURITY GUARDS THE INTENTION THAT YOU HAVE BOOKED
WAS AN INTENTION THAT WAS OVERLOOKED.
BILLIE + ANGIE THEY SAY STAY AWAY
DON’T WANT YOU HOME TODAY KEEP AWAY FROM OUR DOOR DON’T COME ROUND HERE NO MORE. (KATH appears.)
KATH OUR DAD DON’T WANNA KNOW, HE SAYS . . .
GRANDAD THIS IS A SERIOUS MATTER.
GOOD JOE Grandad? Come on mate –
GRANDAD TOO LATE TO RECONSIDER NO-ONE’S GONNA WANNA KNOW Y’.
GOOD JOE (goes to his mum) OUR MUM (she . . . ) (EMMO and LEWIS intercede.)
EMMO SHE DON’T WANNA KNOW, SHE SAYS . . .
LEWIS ‘I’M FEELING TWICE AS OLD’, SHE SAYS . . .
OUR HOUSE
32
EMMO THOUGHT SHE HAD HER HEAD ON HER SHOULDER
EMMO + LEWIS ’CAUSE I’M FEELING TWICE AS OLDER
I’M FEELING TWICE AS OLDER’ (SARAH pep-talks GOOD JOE as a MAN IN A CLOWN COSTUME walks in and sits at a desk.)
SARAH Right you bloody knock ’em dead. At least this time y’r not gonna be interviewed by a dog.
CLOWN Okay so then, Mister Casey, what makes you think you’d make a good waiter here at ‘The International House Of Waffles?
GOOD JOE Well I love meeting people, I’m very hard-working and I’m quick to learn.
CLOWN (ticks, nods) Uh-huh. (Underscore stops.)
GOOD JOE I’m also very proud to sit here and say that I’m a reformed young offender. (The CLOWN looks up, suddenly rigid. The top of his hat flips back on a hinge with a spring sound and a banana on a spring shoots out.)
EVERYONE YOU’RE AN EMBARRASSMENT. Blackout.
SCENE – SUBURBAN HOUSE
MUSIC NO 6a: EMBARRASSMENT Playoff DAD sets the doors spinning . . . spinning . . . and stops them on black. We are now in the BAD JOE story. Out of this blackness appears PRESSMAN, a seemingly avuncular businessman. A businesswoman, HEATHER, walks on. Underscore ends.)
OUR HOUSE
33
HEATHER Oh Mister Pressman?
DAD This is where you have to watch out now, Joe.
HEATHER Mister Pressman!
DAD Some people in the dark half of this world don’t look half as dark as they are. Some look nice as pie. (PRESSMAN turns, nice as pie.)
PRESSMAN Heather-r!
HEATHER If you’d like to meet . . . this is the Sales Manager for London Alarms. (BAD JOE walks on, looking a million dollars, relatively. Well groomed, hair slicked back, black suit.)
BAD JOE Casey’s the name. Joe Casey.
PRESSMAN Good God. Hardly looks old enough to be a manager.
BAD JOE No, well. To be honest I left school early to start this company. A friend and I decided the world of business seemed exciting, we were sixteen and . . . why wait?
PRESSMAN (smiles, nods) Is that right. (A beat.) Well I didn’t stay at school either,
Mister Casey. It never did me any harm. Fair play to y’. (His mobile rings.) I’ll leave you in the very capable hands of Heather who deals with all my property.
HEATHER Okay, goodbye, Mister Pressman.
BAD JOE (points) Sorry is that . . . ? Are these . . . (houses) . . . ? ‘Pressman’ as in . . . that you see up on cranes?
HEATHER As in ‘Pressman Developments’.
BAD JOE Wow. Is he moving here?
OUR HOUSE
34
HEATHER No, no, this one’s actually a birthday present he’s bought for his secretary.
BAD JOE He buys houses for his staff?
HEATHER (a beat, then wryly) It usually buys him something back.
BAD JOE (beat) Anyway. I’ve been er – all round the property and I have to say the existing alarm layout is pretty sufficient.
HEATHER Really?
BAD JOE Absolutely. The only loophole is (Checks clipboard.) that one single un-alarmed downstairs window. But the chances of anyone discovering that are very slight.
MUSIC NO 6b: BAGGY TROUSERS (Underscore)
HEATHER Right.
BAD JOE Or the fact the utility room has no alarm sensor.
HEATHER No.
BAD JOE Or the fact that there’s a slight weakness in . . .
(BAD JOE walks from one scene into . . . )
SCENE – THE IRISH THEME PUB
( . . . the pub where waits REECEY.)
BAD JOE . . . the existing alarm layout where someone’s put a stud wall in front of the
infra red, allowing un-monitored access into the lounge and garage.
(REECEY stands, putting some gloves on.)
REECEY Cheers mate. Told y’ this little business idea’d work. (REECEY leaves past EMMO and LEWIS, who pile in.)
OUR HOUSE
35
REECEY ’Night, girls.
LEWIS What the hell are you doing?
EMMO I thought you didn’t want to end up housebreaking like y’r dad. (Underscore ends.)
JOE (fingers to lips) Ap ap ap! (BAD JOE produces letter.)
MUSIC NO 7: EMBARRASSMENT (Reprise – ‘Encouragement Version’)
BAD JOE RECEIVED A LETTER JUST THE OTHER DAY.
HEATHER WE’VE HAD SECOND THOUGHTS ABOUT THAT ALARM SYSTEM. WE HAD A MINOR BREAK IN THURSDAY NIGHT. SO ER . . . PERHAPS YOU MIGHT LIKE TO GIVE US A QUOTE FOR . . . (The alarms?)
BAD JOE Here we go boys! (The BOSS OF LONDON ALARMS enters with some ceremony.) (Similarly-clad SALES REPS pile in.)
SALES REPS OOO – AHH, etc. LONDON ALARMS BOSS HERE HE IS. THE RISING STAR ‘JOE CASEY’.
AS DISTRICT MANAGER HERE AT LONDON ALARMS LET ME CONGRATULATE YOU ON THESE JANUARY SALES FIGURES FOURTEEN IS A COMPANY RECORD.
JOE This isn’t ‘crime’! This is enterprise culture!
SALES REPS OOO – AHH, etc. HE’S AN ENCOURAGEMENT, A LIVING ENDORSEMENT. THE PROMISE THAT HE HAS SHOWN, THIS IS THE START OF A LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP.
OUR HOUSE
36
(Dance break, ending with . . .)
SALES REPS OOO – AHH, etc. HE’S AN ENCOURAGEMENT, OOO – AHH. (DAD executes a magical switch from the hugely successful BAD JOE into . . . )
SCENE – WEST END STREET
. . . GOOD JOE, standing dully on a street corner with a sign saying ‘GOLF SALE’, with a large arrow, on his head. We are now in the WHITE WORLD.
BILLIE + ANGIE Joe Caseyy-y!
GOOD JOE Oh God. Oh God. Oh God oh God. (Tries to be super-casual.) Billie. Angie. Hi.
(A beat.)
BILLIE (coolly) Joe, look I know this sounds crazy, but I really fancy some tartan trousers. (Looks round.) D’you have any idea round here where I might be able to get some?
GOOD JOE (deadpan) Very good.
ANGIE So after the unique feat of getting turned down for a job by a dog and a clown, this is the job you told everyone you got in ‘marketing’?
GOOD JOE Girls . . .
BILLIE Wouldn’t it be terrible if Sarah found out the terrible tartan truth.
GOOD JOE (quickly) Don’t tell her.
BILLIE Especially now’s she’s at college.
GOOD JOE Don’t tell her.
OUR HOUSE
37
ANGIE Whole new social ‘circle’. Mixing with all those high-rollers.
BILLIE Like Callum, for instance, whose father owns a distillery.
GOOD JOE (pause) Who?
ANGIE Mind you, sayin’ that, Billie, it does seem for the first time Joe Casey’s got a real direction in life.
BILLIE + ANGIE (deadpan, flatly) Wa hey.
GOOD JOE Look I’m trying to earn a quick bit of cash so I can do something for Sarah’s
birthday. (REECEY emerges, smoking.)
ANGIE Hey well it’d better be good, I tell y’. She’s used to better things now.
GOOD JOE If university was that glamorous she wouldn’t be working weekends in a bar. (BILLIE and ANGIE have gone, leaving REECEY in the shadows.)
BILLIE + ANGIE (V.O.) (dully) Whatever.
REECEY Hey Jo jo.
(GOOD JOE doesn’t answer.)
MUSIC NO 7a: BAGGY TROUSERS / OUR HOUSE (Underscore) REECEY (Cont’d) So tell me. How much have y’got to impress this girl?
GOOD JOE It’s not ‘impressing’. It’s more . . . what I’m doing is . . . is . . . (Pause,
quieter.) Eighty quid.
REECEY (swallows) See that lovely little convertible Jaguar?
OUR HOUSE
38
(GOOD JOE peers.)
REECEY (Cont’d) Eighty quid, y’can borrow that for the day.
GOOD JOE Is it yours?
REECEY No. (Smiles.) But what a difference two minutes would make.
(He turns to GOOD JOE. He beams.)
REECEY (Cont’d) (tantalisingly) Vrum-vrooom.
GOOD JOE It’s okay, Reecey. I’m not getting into all that. (Music pauses.) But you have
given us an idea. (Races off, turns.) This is gonna be the most brilliant birthday present ever.
REECEY (calls after him) Y’want a car, mate, I’m telling y’. Nothing impresses a woman like cars. (Slight pause.) Except honesty. An’ personally I’ve always found cars easier. (Music begins again.)
SCENE – CASEY STREET
Underscore continues. SARAH bounces out to that expectant underscore expecting a picnic, all dressed in summer gear, shades, croptops, cans of lager.
SARAH Her-r-r-e we go! ‘One o’ Clock, corner of Casey Street’ Come on-n-n . . .
( . . . followed by a cynical, arms-folded BILLIE and ANGIE.)
BILLIE Let me tell you, this is going to be your most disappointing birthday ever.
SARAH Shut it-t . . .
ANGIE You should’ve stayed at university and invited us to a massive party.
SARAH Girls.
ANGIE + BILLIE (immediate false grins) All smiles.
OUR HOUSE
39
ANGIE We’re here.
BILLIE Ready for the spectacle.
ANGIE + BILLIE Bring it on.
(A battered old Morris Minor coupe appears. Driving it is GOOD JOE with his arms wide. EMMO and LEWIS in the back.)
GOOD JOE Ha-hey!
BILLIE + ANGIE Goodbye.
MUSIC NO 8: DRIVING IN MY CAR SARAH Get back here. Get back here! This is fantastic.
(SARAH bundles the protesting BILLIE and ANGIE into the car.)
GOOD JOE I’VE BEEN DRIVING IN MY CAR. IT’S NOT QUITE A JAGUAR.
BILLIE + ANGIE (look at him, deadpan) You don’t say.
GOOD JOE I BOUGHT IT IN PRIMROSE HILL
FROM A BLOKE FROM BRAZIL.
LEWIS Eighty quid.
ANGIE That much?
GOOD JOE IT WAS MADE IN FIFTY-NINE.
BILLIE That new?
GOOD JOE IN A FACTORY BY THE TYNE.
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40
ANGIE Oh my God. It’s Northern.
LEWIS IT SAYS ‘MORRIS’ ON THE DOOR THE GPO OWNED IT BEFORE.
GOOD JOE I DRIVE IN IT FOR MY JOB THE GUV’NOR CALLS ME A SLOB BUT I DON’T REALLY CARE.
BILLIE + ANGIE You should.
GOOD JOE GIVE ME SOME GAS AND THE OPEN AIR.
EMMO Here we go-o-o-o-o . . . .
(All in, they ‘set off’. Wind blows their hair.)
GOOD JOE IT’S A BIT OLD BUT IT’S MINE. I MEND IT IN MY SPARE TIME. JUST LAST WEEK I CHANGED THE OIL THE ROCKER VALVES AND THE COIL.
EMMO + LEWIS (nods) JUST LAST WEEK HE CHANGED THE OIL.
GOOD JOE, EMMO + LEWIS LAST WEEK IT WENT ROUND THE CLOCK
I ALSO HAD A LITTLE KNOCK.
GOOD JOE I DENTED SOMEBODY’S FENDER.
EMMO + LEWIS HE LEARNED NOT TO PARK ON A BENDER.
BILLIE HA HA – (To ANGIE.) Get out.
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41
(Choreography of SARAH, loving it, preventing BILLIE and ANGIE from leaving . . . )
LEWIS You can’t get out, it’s moving!
EMMO (points) Tunnel!
ANGIE What?
EVERYONE Tunn-nelllll!!! ( . . . as the car goes into a tunnel, then onto a rollercoaster, into the sky . . . )
GOOD JOE I’VE BEEN DRIVING IN MY CAR IT DON’T LOOK MUCH, BUT I’VE BEEN FAR. I DRIVE UP TO MUSWELL HILL I’VE EVEN BEEN TO SELSEY BILL. I DROVE ALONG THE A45 I HAD HER UP TO FIFTY EIGHT. ( . . . becomes the prow of the Titanic . . . . . . battles through Star Wars . . . . . . then back to earth.)
GOOD JOE + SARAH I LIKE DRIVING IN MY CAR
BILLIE + ANGIE HE LIKES DRIVING IN HIS CAR
GOOD JOE + SARAH DON’T LOOK MUCH BUT I’VE BEEN FAR
BILLIE + ANGIE DON’T LOOK MUCH. Full stop.
(Much bickering and squawking to a final apocalyptic . . . )
GOOD JOE (triumphantly) GOD I LOVE THIS CAR! (Music ends.)
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42
(There’s a bang from the engine. A thin Wile E. Coyote of smoke rises. The sisters climb out as EMMO and LEWIS start to push it back.)
LEWIS (gesturing for help) Emmo?
BILLIE Anyway Sarah . . . (Deep breath.) . . .
BILLIE + ANGIE (sing) HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY . . .
SARAH It’s STILL a great birthday!
EMMO (pushing) We can push it back!
BILLIE (going) Sorry. Don’t do ‘push’.
ANGIE (into mobile, going) Reecey. Guess what’s happened.
EMMO (pushing it away) Just get it up on the verge an’ we can call someone out.
LEWIS (helping) Yeah what, like a priest?
SARAH This is such . . . (Kisses him.) mmm! You know why I love that car? Because
it is so ‘Joe Casey’. It is just so you. It’s just the . . .
GOOD JOE (half smile) It’s an embarrassment.
SARAH (takes a beat, tries again) Listen Joe. At Christmas, at university they have this big massive ball, this charity ball where everyone has to dress up in big frocks and the blokes wear dinner jackets and I’m on the organising committee so I get two free tickets!
GOOD JOE Sarah, I have to tell you the job I have in ‘marketing’ is standing on a street corner with a sign saying ‘golf sale’ on my head.
SARAH Right. (Swallows, pause.) Well I could hire a dinner suit for you!
GOOD JOE (strokes her hair back) It’s okay.
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43
SARAH Serious. Now I’ve got this weekend job in a bar on the Embankment. I don’t mind paying for you to . . .
GOOD JOE Sarah. I don’t want charity. (He turns and goes.)
MUSIC NO 8a - I: MY GIRL – Reprise (Ballad Version)
SARAH WHY CAN’T I EXPLAIN? (Underscore takes the line: ‘Why do I feel this pain?’)
SARAH (Cont’d) EVERYTHING I SAY HE DOESN’T UNDERSTAND
HE DOESN’T REALISE HE TAKES IT ALL . . .
(DAD enters, turning all the doors to black. We are now in the BLACK WORLD and in a showroom.)
SCENE – JAGUAR SHOWROOM
SARAH + DAD . . . THE WRONG WAY.
MUSIC NO 8a - II: DRIVING IN MY CAR – Reprise (Big Band Version)
(BAD JOE, sharp as a knife, gelled-back hair, is shown his car by a POSH SALESMAN as DAD sings.)
DAD HE’S BEEN DRIVING IN HIS CAR.
SALESMAN Here we are sir, I think you’ll like this one, it’s a twin carb four litre petrol-
engined . . .
DAD (looks over JOE’s shoulder at the spec.) IT IS INDEED A JAGUAR
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BAD JOE IT SAYS ‘V8’ ON THE DOOR. FINISH, TRIM . . .
DAD . . . AND A CORRIDOR.
SALESMAN CLIMATE-CONTROLLED AUTOMATIC’LY.
BAD JOE Very nice. Veryyyy nice! (Music breaks.)
SCENE – CASEY STREET
BAD JOE It’s a great day mum!
KATH Oh look at YOU! My God, will you look at this SUIT!
BAD JOE I don’t sell alarms anymore. I’m like me great grandad. Y’ve got another
builder in the family now!
KATH (reads card) ‘Casey Properties’.
BAD JOE (chucks her cheek) Promise you mum, it’ll be massive one day. It’ll be up there on cranes like ‘Pressmans’.
KATH You’re a developer?
BAD JOE (slight pebble in shoe) ‘Builder’. ‘Developer’.
KATH Does that mean I’ll get to see even less of you?
BAD JOE I promise you mum, you’ll be proud of that name.
KATH I am already.
BAD JOE Not only that . . .
KATH I said, ‘I am al - . . .
OUR HOUSE
45
BAD JOE I’ve set Emmo and Lewis up in a limousine business!
SCENE – RIVERSIDE COCKTAIL BAR (Drum roll and cymbal crash.) EMMO + LEWIS (O.S.) Ladies and Gentlemen-n-n-n . . . BAD JOE (points) I give yo-o-ou . . . !
(EMMO and LEWIS swagger out, wearing chic light grey chauffeur outfits.)
EMMO + LEWIS (no accompaniment) WE’VE BEEN DRIVING IN OUR CAR
BAD JOE Hahahahaheyyyy! (Points.) What’s it got, boys?
EMMO + LEWIS FISH TANK AND A CINEMA.
MUSIC NO 8b: AFTER DRIVING IN MY CAR (Cocktail Piano) BAD JOE Tell me everything.
KATH (leaving unmarked by JOE) I’ll see y’ then.
EMMO It is the biggest car . . .
KATH Joe?
(BAD JOE sits at a table, all smiles to his mates. His mum just leaves.)
LEWIS Five point eight litre. Genuine USA Left hand drive . . .
EMMO It is the biggest car . . .
LEWIS Twenty eight thousand miles, only ever driven in California . . .
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46
EMMO It is the biggest car . . .
BAD JOE It’s a big car, is it Emmo?
EMMO It is the biggest . . . (car . . . )
LEWIS (shushes EMMO, quieter tone) Listen, Joe, I have to ask. All this money. The limo, the money that’s paid for the limo . . .
BAD JOE (to avoid GIRLS hearing) Guys guys guys. The alarm scam just got me the money to set up legit. I will never need to deal with scumbags like Reecey again in my life. (The waitress turns up in a chic cocktail waitress outfit. It’s SARAH.)
SARAH (writing in pad) Yes, gentlemen. What can I get you?
EMMO (privately to LEWIS) God, she is a dead ringer for that girl we knew at school.
SARAH (hearing it) It is me. Hello Emmo.
EMMO Hey. (Points to his hat.) Surely what you mean is ‘Hello ‘E’, of ‘E and L
Limousines.’
SARAH (coolly) What a brilliant name.
EMMO It stands for . . .
SARAH I know what it stands for.
LEWIS We’re an investment of a young businessman. (EMMO gives SARAH the business card.)
SARAH So. Joe Casey getting into property. I seem to remember he was doing that the last time we met. Cocktails?
BAD JOE (gently) Please tell me you went to university.
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47
SARAH Can I take your order?
EMMO Hey. What’s it like, university? Is it like everyone just has sex with everyone else like just all the time?
SARAH You do jobs at weekends to afford it. That’s what it’s ‘like’. Order?
EMMO Three of them melon ones.
SARAH (goes) Thanks.
BAD JOE Did you have a good birthday? (Music fades. SARAH stops. And turns.)
SARAH (pause, s.v.) I was on a committee all day for a charity ball.
BAD JOE Can anyone come?
SARAH (beat) It’s for ‘charity’, Joe. Involves doing things for other people. Depends if you’re into that. (She goes.)
SCENE – HAMPSTEAD TERRACE
MUSIC NO 8c: SIMPLE EQUATION – Reprise CHORUS OOOOO AHHHH . . .
OOOOO AHHHH . . . (DAD effects a sudden change into the WHITE WORLD, GOOD JOE’S. But it’s eerie, as the night is dark. Things, in fact, seem grey.)
DAD THE EQUATION STARTS SIMPLE, BUT IN THE LONG RUN . . . (Beats.) GETS HARDER TO RECOGNISE RAIN FROM THE SUN (Beats.) WRONG TURNING RIGHT . . . Good turning bad?
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48
(One turn reveals the wolf in the woods . . . )
REECEY Well well well. (Underscore.)
GOOD JOE Leave us alone eh, Reecey.
REECEY Don’t turn me away, Jo-jo. It’s just a little job. I planned it all nice an’ convenient. On your way home from work. Slightly open front window . . .
GOOD JOE Look I told you I’m not getting into any of that.
REECEY (cuts to the chase) It’d pay for a DJ. (GOOD JOE doesn’t look at him.)
DAD ALL I WANTED WAS A WORD . . .
REECEY (Cont’d) Not your fault you can’t get a job.
DAD AS YOU STAND WHERE I ONCE STOOD . . .
REECEY (Cont’d) Not your fault your dad doesn’t own a distillery.
(GOOD JOE’S shoulders drop.)
GOOD JOE What do I have to do?
(REECEY laughs and leads GOOD JOE into temptation . . . )
DAD + CHORUS IT’S THE DAYS THAT SEPARATE THE NIGHT.
THE SHADOWS BY WHICH WE RECOGNISE THE LIGHT.
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49
(A marquee front drops. Underscore continues.)
SCENE – MARQUEE AT SARAH’S COLLEGE
In burst BILLIE and ANGIE dressed to the nines in ball dresses.
BILLIE Oh my God. Finally I start to live.
ANGIE I am in a ball dress. I am in a university . . .
(SARAH rushes in, wearing a ball dress, with CALLUM, a Scottish student.)
BILLIE + ANGIE Ha heyyy!
SARAH Billie-e! Oh Callum! Billie and Angie, this is Callum. Organised this with
me.
CALLUM (shakes) You must be her friends from Camden?
ANGIE Islington.
BILLIE Anyway-y. I bet there’s some family history behind those trousers, am I right?
(Huge APPLAUSE).
SARAH Oh God the band’s finished. Can you check the next . . . (band?)
CALLUM I’ll check the band! Yes captain. (Salutes, smiling.) Have a good night, ladies.
BILLIE (points at CALLUM) Look at that.
SARAH What?
ANGIE Not wanting to say ‘I told you so’, but just imagine all those years back if you’d ended up going out with Joe Casey and then come to a place like this.
BILLIE It’d be like being tied to a donkey in a field full of stallions.
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50
(The marquee flaps part dramatically to reveal BAD JOE in a DJ).
BAD JOE (does cuffs, nods) Girls.
(Jaws drop audibly all round.)
BAD JOE (Cont’d) (hands over a cheque) Y’don’t mind? I’ve brought a donation.
BILLIE (takes it) ‘Casey Properties’?
SARAH (reads it) Joe, you didn’t have to do that.
BAD JOE Yeah well that’s the point of ‘charity’, isn’t it? Besides. Don’t want to waste
all these dancing lessons. (The combo at the ball start ‘playing’.)
MUSIC NO 9: THE RETURN OF THE LOS PALMAS SEVEN (BAD JOE holds his hand out to SARAH.) SARAH (shrugs) I can’t. Seriously.
(BAD JOE does an ‘okay’ of the eyes, and turns his hand to invite BILLIE or
ANGIE.)
BAD JOE Girls?
ANGIE Alas. Time to go.
BILLIE Sorry. Don’t do ‘dance’.
(BAD JOE and SARAH are alone.)
BAD JOE (smiles) Let me teach you. This is the simplest dance in the universe.
(He starts to teach her, sometimes with audible little instructions, the steps his DAD danced with KATH.)
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51
SARAH Where did you learn all this?
BAD JOE Camden International Academy Of Dance.
SARAH Joe.
BAD JOE It’s above the Electric Rhino Sex Shop.
SARAH Joe.
BAD JOE Me mum taught me. (And as she starts to get it together, the marquee blows away and allows us to
dance past the landmarks of contemporary London . . . the wheel. The dome. Buckingham Palace . . . )
SCENE – PICCADILLY CIRCUS
(SARAH finally stops, and pulls away.)
SARAH Why did you come tonight?
BAD JOE I’d like to say it’s ’cause I support Oxfam.
(SARAH smiles.)
BAD JOE (Cont’d) God y’know I spent so long – (Winces.) so many nights, back and back,
going back over that night in Camden Quays. Running away. Putting myself before you.
(Music ends. Pause. They look at each other.)
BAD JOE (Cont’d) (slight pause) Biggest mistake I ever made.
SARAH (pause) Yeah. It was. (She looks at him.)
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52
BAD JOE Y’know sometimes I find myself fantasising I did the right thing that night. An’ how brilliant life would’ve turned out.
(A thunderclap and the doors rotate to white. We’re snapped into GOOD JOE’s story.)
MUSIC NO 10: SHUT UP (GOOD JOE and REECEY thunder across the stage with a telly, pursued by
COPPERS.)
COPPER 1 Get the little scumbag!
REECEY Run Jo-jo!
GOOD JOE Reeeeceyy!
COPPER 2 Come on son, you’re nicked.
(There is a chase.)
COPPER 3 Alright lads. Game’s up. I’ve got him.
SCENE – POLICE STATION
POLICE pile in and restrain REECEY and GOOD JOE.
REECEY I TELL YOU I DIDN’T DO IT, ’CAUSE I WASN’T THERE
GOOD JOE Eh?
REECEY DON’T BLAME ME, IT JUST ISN’T FAIR.
GOOD JOE Reecey?
REECEY DON’T LISTEN TO HIS SIDE, JUST LISTEN TO MINE
CAN’T THINK OF A STORY, SURE YOU’LL FIND ME SOMETIME. NOW PASS THE BLAME AND DON’T BLAME ME JUST CLOSE YOUR EYES AND COUNT TO THREE
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53
COPPERS ONE. TWO. THREE.
REECEY THEN I’LL BE GONE AND YOU’LL FORGET THE BROKEN WINDOW, TV SET.
GOOD JOE IT WASN’T ME EITHER, (Nods to REECEY.) I’M JUST HIS MATE.
REECEY ‘Mate’? HE TOLD ME TO STAND HERE AND WATCH THE GATE.
GOOD JOE No, no, no. He told me . . . (that - )
REECEY I’VE GOT A WIFE AND THREE KIDS YOU KNOW
GOOD JOE No he hasn’t. ( . . . He - )
REECEY THEY’LL TELL YOU I’M STRAIGHT, AT LEAST I THINK SO.
GOOD JOE Look officer, I’M AS HONEST AS THE DAY IS LONG.
REECEY (nods knowingly at JOE) Yeah right. ‘THE LONGER THE DAYLIGHT THE LESS I DO WRONG’.
REECEY + JOE NOW PASS THE BLAME AND DON’T BLAME ME
JUST CLOSE YOUR EYES AND COUNT TO THREE (ONE, TWO, THREE,)
THEN I’LL BE GONE AND YOU’LL FORGET THE BROKEN WINDOW, TV SET. ONE, TWO, THREE!
(Underscore.)
EMMO Joe! Over here!
LEWIS We’re here for y’, mate. We called Sarah (and . . . )
GOOD JOE What?
EMMO What?
GOOD JOE You called Sarah?
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54
EMMO Was that wrong?
GOOD JOE You idiots. You brain dead, stupid . . .
(GOOD JOE flies at EMMO, who can’t believe what’s happening, like a child.)
LEWIS Joe!
POLICEMAN (restraining JOE) Don’t push it.
(SARAH flies in, wearing a (different) ball dress with a bloke’s DJ over it. STUDENT CALLUM is with her.)
SARAH Joe! What’s happened?
GOOD JOE Thanks, guys. Thanks so . . . (much.)
SARAH They said y’d broken into a house.
GOOD JOE Who’s this?
SARAH What? EMMO (wounded to near tears) What did we do?
CALLUM The name’s Callum.
LEWIS (to EMMO) ’S’okay.
SARAH They said you’d been arrested (breaking into a house - )
CALLUM (offers to shake) I just came out the ball with her.
SARAH Why the hell . . . (did - ?)
GOOD JOE (points at her clothing) Whose jacket?
SARAH (looks a beat) Forget the jacket. Joe, why were you trying to break into a
house?
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55
GOOD JOE Because we don’t all have one of (Nods at CALLUM’S jacket.) them lying about.
SARAH What?
GOOD JOE (spoiling for a fight) Nice one, mate. Nice jacket.
SARAH Oh, hey if I thought, when I had offered to pay . . . (for - )
GOOD JOE So what, Sarah, so I walk round with (POINTS AT CALLUM) everyone knowing you paid for your boyfriend’s clothing . . . (at - )
CALLUM Whoa.
GOOD JOE (turns like a rattlesnake) Sorry?
CALLUM (smiling) I just think she meant . . . (that - )
SARAH Joe.
EMMO Joe, I’m sorry we called her . . .
GOOD JOE Sorry, go on. Tell me what my girlfriend ‘meant’.
SARAH Stop it.
POLICEMAN (pulls GOOD JOE back) Come on, sunshine.
CALLUM I think Sarah . . . (was trying to be nice - )
GOOD JOE (points) Don’t use that name.
POLICEMAN Oi.
EMMO What is happening to you?
LEWIS (bitterly) Forget it Emmo. He’s not worth it.
CALLUM (eases SARAH back to safety) Come on, Sarah.
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56
(GOOD JOE launches at CALLUM and punches him flying. POLICE pile in.)
SARAH + LEWIS Joe!
GOOD JOE (to POLICEMAN) Get your hands off . . . (me - )
(GOOD JOE on instinct swings and decks the COPPER, who goes flying. Music
stops abruptly. A moment of silence where everyone just stands and takes stock of what this act signifies.)
DAD No, no, no. Don’t hit a copper. Never hit a copper! MUSIC NO 11: TOMORROW’S JUST ANOTHER DAY / THE SUN AND THE RAIN
(As if in response, a load of PRISONERS appear.)
SCENE – PRISON
GOOD JOE No. Hold on.
PRISONERS DOOBY DOO DOOBY DOO DOO DOO
DOOBY DOOBY DOOBY DOO DOO DOO . . . (x4)
(A prison starts to appear.)
SARAH No, look, he doesn’t belong with these lot! He’s not like them, he’s not a criminal.
COPPER Oh well now look at this. He’s got form. Been in a ‘correctional facility!’
SARAH ’Cause he did the right thing! He’s done the right thing all the . . . (way - )
GOOD JOE I tell you what the ‘right thing’ would’ve been, Sarah. When I was sixteen to have never met you.
DAD He doesn’t meant that love.
(Slight pause. SARAH backs away and runs.)
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57
GOOD JOE (instantly) I didn’t mean that.
DAD Love, seriously. He was just trying . . . (to - )
GOOD JOE I was trying . . . I was just . . . I was just . . .
PRISONERS TRYING HARD I THOUGHT I’D DONE MY BEST. ALL MY LIFE I CAN’T GET NO REST. DOWN AND DOWN THERE IS NO UP I THINK THAT I’VE RUN OUT OF LUCK
GOOD JOE I HEAR THEM SAY
PRISONERS TOMORROW’S JUST ANOTHER DAY.
GOOD JOE I HEAR THEM SAY
PRISONERS AND IT GETS BETTER EVERY DAY
GOOD JOE I HEAR THEM SAY
PRISONERS TOMORROW’S JUST ANOTHER DAY TOMORROW’S JUST ANOTHER DAY.
(GOOD JOE gets subsumed into the ranks of Prisoners . . . )
GOOD JOE WALKING NOW OVER COVERED GROUND THERE IS A CHANCE IF I MOVE AROUND I NEED A MOMENT TO REFLECT ON THE FRIENDSHIPS I HAVE WRECKED . . .
+ PRISONERS I HEAR THEM SAY TOMORROW’S JUST ANOTHER DAY. I HEAR THEM SAY IT GETS BETTER EVERY DAY. I HEAR THEM SAY. TOMORROW’S JUST ANOTHER DAY TOMORROW’S JUST ANOTHER . . .
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DAD IF BLACK IS WHITE, AN’ NIGHT IS DAY AND PATHS WE TAKE STRETCH FAR AWAY HOW CAN WE EVER HOPE TO CALL WHICH WILL RISE AND WHICH WILL FALL?
BAD JOE IT’S RAINING AGAIN
(BAD JOE appears magically, the BLACK AND WHITE worlds co-existing!)
BAD JOE (Cont’d) A CRACK IN THE CLOUDS REVEALS BLUE SKIES
I’VE BEEN FEELING SO LOW BUT NOW EVERYTHING IS ON MY SIDE THE SUN AND THE RAIN
(He puts an arm out.)
BAD JOE (Cont’d) WALK WITH ME, FILL MY HEART AGAIN.
(SARAH, in her ball dress, comes along Albert Bridge to join him. She has his
jacket as an umbrella.)
SARAH + BAD JOE I FEEL THE RAIN FALLING ON MY FACE
I CAN SAY THERE IS NO BETTER PLACE THAN STANDING UP IN THE FALLING DOWN IN SO MUCH RAIN I COULD ALMOST DROWN.
PRISONERS I HEAR THEM SAY TOMORROW’S JUST ANOTHER DAY I HEAR THEM SAY IT GETS BETTER EVERY DAY I HEAR THEM SAY TOMORROW’S JUST ANOTHER DAY. TOMORROW’S JUST ANOTHER DAY. I HEAR THEM SAY TOMORROW’S JUST ANOTHER DAY I HEAR THEM SAY IT GETS BETTER EVERY DAY I HEAR THEM SAY
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59
TOMORROW’S JUST ANOTHER -
DOOBY DOO DOOBY DOO DOO DOO DOOBY DOOBY DOOBY DOO DOO DOO.
SARAH + BAD JOE I FEEL THE RAIN FALLING ON MY FACE
I CAN SAY THERE IS NO BETTER PLACE THAN STANDING UP IN THE FALLING DOWN IN SO MUCH RAIN I COULD ALMOST DROWN.
PRISONERS TOMORROW’S JUST ANOTHER DAY IT GETS BETTER EVERY DAY TOMORROW’S JUST ANOTHER DAY. TOMORROW’S JUST ANOTHER DAY.
SARAH + BAD JOE I FEEL THE RAIN FALLING ON MY FACE
I CAN SAY THERE IS NO BETTER PLACE THAN STANDING UP IN THE FALLING DOWN IN SO MUCH RAIN I COULD ALMOST DROWN.
PRISONERS I HEAR THEM SAY TOMORROW’S JUST ANOTHER DAY I HEAR THEM SAY IT GETS BETTER EVERY DAY I HEAR THEM SAY TOMORROW’S JUST ANOTHER DAY. TOMORROW’S JUST ANOTHER DAY.
I HEAR THEM SAY TOMORROW’S JUST ANOTHER DAY I HEAR THEM SAY IT GETS BETTER EVERY DAY I HEAR THEM SAY TOMORROW’S JUST ANOTHER -
(BAD JOE and SARAH kiss as GOOD JOE appears in prison. It’s magical.)
OMNES TOMORROW’S JUST ANOTHER DAY.
(Blackout. End of Act One.)
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ACT TWO SCENE – NORTHERN EGYPT
The sound of a boat horn in the darkness.
MUSIC NO 12: NIGHT BOAT TO CAIRO VOICE NIGHT BOAT TO CAIRO-OOOOOOO!
(Mist.The prow of a mysterious and ghostly boat appears, bobbing in the half-
light – it STOPS THE DOORS ON BLACK – we’re in BAD JOE’s story. DAD is punting. SARAH and BAD JOE are aboard.)
DAD IT’S JUST GONE NOON HALF PAST MONSOON ON THE BANKS OF THE RIVER NILE HERE COMES THE BOAT, ONLY HALF AFLOAT OARSMAN GRINS A TOOTHLESS SMILE.
(We don’t not have an effing clue what the hell is happening. We are apparently in Egypt.)
ONLY JUST ONE MORE TO THIS DESOLATE SHORE LAST BOAT ALONG THE RIVER NILE DON’T SEEM TO CARE, NO MORE WIND IN HIS HAIR AS HE REACHES HIS LAST HALF MILE. THE OAR SNAPS IN HIS HAND BEFORE HE REACHES DRY LAND BUT THE SOUND DOESN’T DAMPEN HIS SMILE JUST PRODS THE WET SAND WITH AN OAR IN HIS HAND FLOATS OFF DOWN THE RIVER NILE FLOATS OFF DOWN THE RIVER NILE.
(Music ends abruptly as JOE and SARAH get out.)
BAD JOE God I love Las Vegas! (Music crashes back in as DAD rows off.)
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61
MUSIC NO 12a: NIGHT BOAT (Vegas Underscore)
SARAH Now we have kept this ‘just the two of us’, yeah?
BAD JOE I – in a sense.
SARAH Joe-e . . . ?
BAD JOE Look, Sarah, I tried. I REALLY tried but she pathologically organises people to turn up.
(KATH comes in, dressed to the nines.)
KATH Well bearing in mind this isn’t The Church Of The Blessed Virgin and me wedding car was a flaming gondola, I can only hope that your bridesmaids are dressed for a good Catholic service.
SARAH ‘Bridesmaids’?
(BILLIE and ANGIE appear in outrageous bridesmaids dresses. SARAH can’t BELIEVE IT - but she’s pretty overjoyed to see them!)
BILLIE OH MY GODDDDDD –
ANGIE OH MY GODDDD. I am in a designer dress. I am in Las Vegas. I have achieved so much and I’m only twenty one.
BILLIE Best thing is our room’s much bigger than the one they gave his best men!
SARAH ‘Best men’?
(EMMO and LEWIS rush in. Everyone is now 21.)
EMMO (deadly serious) I have just seen a car . . .
LEWIS We got rowed . . . to our room.
EMMO I have just seen a car . . . LEWIS We got rowed . . . to our room.
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62
EMMO I have just seen a car so big it can never turn round. BAD JOE (hugs SARAH) You know how I promised you a paradise wedding? BILLIE + ANGIE (arms to heaven!) Honey, you got it! SCENE – A CARIBBEAN ISLAND PARADISE SET IN A HOTEL ROOM MUSIC NO 13: WINGS OF A DOVE (A small CARIB COMBO starts to play.) CARIB COMBO TAKE TIME FOR YOUR PLEASURE
AND LAUGH WITH LOVE TAKE THE HAND OF ANOTHER AND SING FOR THE WINGS OF A DOVE.
WOH WOH FOR THE WINGS OF A DOVE. WOH WOH FOR THE WINGS OF A DOVE.
BILLIE + ANGIE LOOK UP AT THE ROOFTOPS
WHEN YOU’RE WALKING ROUND DON’T THINK FOR A MOMENT OF LOOKING DOWN.
ALL WOH WOH FOR THE WINGS OF A DOVE. WOH WOH FOR THE WINGS OF A DOVE. WOH WOH FOR THE WINGS OF A DOVE. WOH WOH FOR THE WINGS OF A DO-O-O-OVE.
(A couple of well-turned out late middle aged Brits appear. It’s MR AND MRS PRESSMAN. No recognition as yet.)
BAD JOE Excuse us can you take a photo?
MR PRESSMAN Sure.
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(He takes it, during which BAD JOE recognises him.)
BAD JOE Mister Pressman? Isn’t it? I sold you a house alarm once.
MR PRESSMAN Really?
BAD JOE You told me how you hadn’t stayed at school either. I even got into property like you. North London. Took your lead.
MR PRESSMAN Is that right.
BAD JOE Joe Casey.
MRS PRESSMAN God almighty Colin. You’ve got a protegee!
MR PRESSMAN (half smiles) I like that. (Gets out a card.) I’m looking for someone in North London, Joe Casey! (Flicks it.) Call me.
BAD JOE (beams to SARAH) Could this day get any better?
CARIB COMBO + GANG LOOK UP AT THE ROOFTOPS
WHEN YOU’RE WALKING ROUND DON’T THINK FOR A MOMENT OF LOOKING DOWN. A ROOM AT THE TOP WHERE WE’RE NOT ALLOWED CHEER TO THE ECHO CAN YOU HEAR THE SOUND? WOH WOH YEAH YEAH YEAH FOR THE WINGS OF A DOVE. WOH WOH YEAH YEAH YEAH FOR THE WINGS OF A DOVE. WOH WOH FOR THE WINGS OF A DOVE. WOH WOH FOR THE WINGS OF A DO-O-OO-VE.
EVERYONE YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH
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YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH
WOH WOH FOR THE WINGS OF A DOVE. WOH WOH FOR THE WINGS OF A DOVE. WOH WOH FOR THE WINGS OF A DOVE. WOH WOH FOR THE WINGS OF A DOVE. WOH WOH FOR THE WINGS OF A DOVE. WOH WOH FOR THE WINGS OF A DOVE. WOH WOH FOR THE WINGS OF A DOVE. WOH WOH FOR THE WINGS OF A DOVE. WOH WOH WOH WOH WOH WOH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH WOH WOH WOH WOH WOH WOH!
(Dance Break)
EVERYONE LOOK UP AT THE ROOFTOPS (OOOO HA) WHEN YOU’RE WALKING ROUND DON’T THINK FOR A MOMENT (OOOO HA) OF LOOKING DOWN. WOH WOH (YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH) FOR THE WINGS OF A DOVE. WOH WOH (YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH) FOR THE WINGS OF A DOVE. WOH WOH FOR THE WINGS OF A DOVE!
SCENE – PRISON GATES
MUSIC NO 14: ONE BETTER DAY (New Year’s Day morning. It’s freezing. Two massive prison gates open. One
solitary figure comes out with a pathetic plastic bag of possessions.)
DAD ARLINGTON HOUSE ADDRESS ‘NO FIXED ABODE’ AN OLD MAN IN A THREE-PIECE SUIT SITS IN THE ROAD.
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HE STARES ACROSS THE WATER AND SEES RIGHT THROUGH THE LOCK. BUT ON AND UP LIKE OUTSTRETCHED HANDS HIS MUMBLED WORDS, HIS FUMBLED WORDS. SURROUNDED BY HIS PAST ON A SHORT WHITE LINE HE SITS WHILE CARS PASS EITHER SIDE
GOOD JOE + DAD TAKES HIS TIME
DAD TRYING TO REMEMBER
ONE BETTER DAY A WHILE AGO WHEN PEOPLE STOPPED TO HEAR HIM SAY
GOOD JOE WALKING ROUND YOU SOMETIMES HEAR THE SUN SHINE BEATING DOWN IN TIME WITH THE RHYTHM OF YOUR SHOES.
(Underscore continues.) SCENE – CHURCH
KATH finishes praying as the PRIEST passes.
PRIEST Kath? Any sign of Joe yet?
(KATH smiles a ‘no’.)
PRIEST (Cont’d) What did the prison say?
KATH They say they let him out last Friday.
PRIEST He’ll come home, Kath.
KATH (beat) That’s what you told me last time.
(KATH leaves.)
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DAD SHE’S TRYING TO REMEMBER ONE BETTER DAY A WHILE AGO WHEN PEOPLE STOPPED TO HEAR HER SAY.
DAD + GOOD JOE + CHORUS WALKING ROUND YOU SOMETIMES
HEAR THE SUNSHINE BEATING DOWN IN TIME WITH THE RHYTHM OF YOUR SHOES THE FEELING OF ARRIVING WHEN YOU’VE NOTHING LEFT TO LOSE.
CHORUS AHHHH (etc.)
SCENE – CASEY STREET
KATH leans in the doorway of the open house, desperate for her son to come back.
KATH WALKING ROUND YOU SOMETIMES.
DAD You are right in my shoes now, golden boy.
KATH HEAR THE SUNSHINE.
DAD I stood here after I’d come out of prison.
KATH BEATING DOWN IN TIME WITH THE
RHYTHM OF YOUR SHOES.
DAD Right there. Deeds in my hand thinking ‘why not? When’s life ever shown any pity on me, eh? If I’m gonna sell it, why not break in an’ take anything worth anything’?
(We have GOOD JOE, hidden from KATH’s view, along with KATH and DAD on stage.)
DAD That’s how low I’d got, Joby. (Beat.) What I didn’t expect to find was that photograph (Swallows.) – way back then.
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MUSIC NO 14a: OUR HOUSE (Reprise) GOOD JOE I REMEMBER WAY BACK WHEN
EVERYTHING WAS TRUE AND WHEN WE WOULD HAVE SUCH A VERY GOOD TIME SUCH A FINE TIME SUCH A HAPPY TIME . . .
DAD I REMEMBER HOW WE’D PLAY SIMPLY WASTE THE DAY AWAY THEN WE’D SAY NOTHING WOULD COME BETWEEN US TWO DREAMERS . . .
(Music ends.) MR PRESSMAN (O.S.) Kath? Kath?
(MR PRESSMAN strides on. GOOD JOE hides and listens.)
PRESSMAN Here we are then, Kath! (Arms out, smiles.) End of the road. Time to play
ball. All the others down this street have moved out.
KATH Yeah well the others weren’t given their houses for ever, mister Pressman.
PRESSMAN Oh Kath, Kath, Kath . . . How many times? There is no proof anywhere that you were miraculously ‘given’ this house.
KATH (moves in) Look in my eyes, Mister Pressman. Look at the street name. That’s all the proof I’m gonna give y’, you bastard. (She goes in.)
MUSIC NO 15: RISE AND FALL
PRESSMAN (to the closed door) Great, well you can ask the court to look in your eyes,
sweetheart, but you might find they want to see some deeds. Which don’t exist. And no deeds means you’re out. Street name or no street name. (He pulls his coat collar up. And walks out past GOOD JOE, not even noticing him.)
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GOOD JOE THESE ARE THE STREETS I USED TO WALK ON SUMMER NIGHTS SIT OUT AND TALK THAT’S THE HOUSE WHERE I USED TO LIVE . . .
(He looks at the house, starting to get fire in his belly . . . )
GOOD JOE (looks up at it) What if I saved this house, Mum? What if I saved Casey Street for you? D’you reckon a guy who saved his house deserves to come home to it?
(Suddenly fired with resolve, the music surges like the mission in JOE’S breast.)
GOOD JOE WE USED TO LIVE WHERE CHILDREN PLAY THEY’D LEAVE THEIR HOMES A MILE AWAY TO COME AND STAND IN TREES AND GRASS WHERE WE ONCE WALKED THE MEMORIES LAST BEING HERE AGAIN I CAN RECALL FORGOTTEN MOMENTS THE RISE AND FALL THIS IS THE TOWN I WON’T FORGET AND AFTER ANGER, THERE’S NOTHING LEFT WALKING NOW, ROUND AND ROUND FAMILIAR SIGHTS ARE OPEN GROUND BEING HERE AGAIN I CAN RECALL FORGOTTEN MOMENTS THE RISE AND FALL
+ CITIZENS THE SUN SHINES EAST, THE SUN SHINES WEST BUT I KNOW WHERE THE SUN SHINES BEST CASEY STREET IN THE AFTERNOON ONCE AGAIN IT’S OVER TOO SOON.
MUSIC NO 16: HOUSE OF FUN / RISE AND FALL / MY GIRL SCENE – RECEPTION OF PRESSMANS
The doors SPIN TO BLACK. As the citizens clear across the stage, we’re into BAD JOE’S story. A pretty secretary, JULIE, at the front desk.
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JULIE Yes. He can do three o’ clock next Tuesday. Thanks Jill. (Recitative - style)
BAD JOE GOOD MORNING, MISS.
JULIE (starry-eyed) CAN I HELP YOU SIR?
BAD JOE (hands over business card) YES I’M MEETING MISTER PRESSMAN.
HE SAID HALF PAST NINE. MY NAME’S JOE CASEY
JULIE (points) FROM LAS VEGAS. CERTAINLY, THIS WAY PLEASE.
(JULIE leads BAD JOE out. Underscore.)
JULIE (Cont’d) (calls) Just take a seat in the atrium there sir. There’s newspapers and journals and a cappuccino machine on your right. (To herself.) And if you need help frothing your milk, I finish at six. (She buzzes.) Oh Mister Pressman this is Julie in reception. The young man’s here that you met in America. I’ve sent him through.
(Thunderclap. The doors SWING TO WHITE. We’re in GOOD JOE’s story.)
SCENE – RECEPTION OF PRESSMANS Morning bustle. A pretty secretary, JULIE, is at the front desk.
JULIE He can do three o’ clock next Tuesday. Thanks Jill.
GOOD JOE GOOD MORNING, MISS.
JULIE (blankly, looks at this layabout. Pause – three beats.) WHAT?
GOOD JOE I’D LIKE TO SPEAK TO MISTER – (Checks card.) IS IT, ‘PRESSMAN’?
JULIE (sighs, then points brusquely) RIGHT.
SIT THROUGH THERE. DON’T TOUCH THE PLANTS. (Shouts.) AN’ I’VE COUNTED ALL THOSE MAGAZINES.
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(She leans after him.)
JULIE (Cont’d) (calls) I said don’t touch the plants. On the left.
(Thundercrack. DOORS TO BLACK. We’re in the BAD JOE story.)
PRESSMAN COME IN.
(BAD JOE is there.)
PRESSMAN (Cont’d) Ah, JOE CASEY
BAD JOE MISTER PRESSMAN.
PRESSMAN FROM LAS VEGAS.
BAD JOE THAT’S RIGHT.
PRESSMAN MY PROTÉGÉ PROPERTY DEVELOPER
BAD JOE IT’S IN THE BLOOD
MY FAMILY ALL WERE BUILDERS
PRESSMAN WELL Y’RE GONNA MAKE THEM REALLY PROUD.
BAD JOE God I hope I can I mean I . . .
PRESSMAN A LITTLE STORY, JOE THIS OLD ESTATE WE’RE BUILDING ON IS COUNCIL-OWNED. WE CAN BOOT THEM OUT. But, slight spanner in the works. ONE HOUSE SEEMS TO BE A LITTLE – RELUCTANT.
(Underscore, darker . . . )
PRESSMAN One woman. Now I could drag her out, but frankly I could do without the publicity . . . ’Specially seeing I’ve got YOU, now! Local lad, knows the area, explains things in a language she’d understand. God, matey – she probably knows you! Number 25 Casey Street. Ring any bells? (He hands BAD JOE a card.)
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PRESSMAN And if gentle persuasion doesn’t work, give Danny a call.
BAD JOE ‘Danny’?
PRESSMAN Our last resort if we need a house to stop being an obstacle. (Smiles.) He’s our little personal . . . fireman.
BAD JOE (goes cold) I won’t need fire. I won’t need Danny.
PRESSMAN (suddenly darker) On Friday the first the cranes go up.
BAD JOE I’ll do this by Friday the first. (Music – “Rise and Fall”)
PRESSMAN (grips BAD JOE) AND IN THE EAST A NEW SON WILL RISE PICTURE THIS, JOE, UP THERE ’CROSS CAMDEN SKIES. ‘PRESSMAN CASEY’. ON FRIDAY THE FIRST. IF THAT WITCH IS OUT OF CASEY STREET. (Pause.)
PRESSMAN No link, I take it? Joe Casey – ‘Casey Street’? (Underscore stops dead. Pause. Hold this . . . ) BAD JOE No.
(He leaves BAD JOE to the Judas-like moment of disclaiming his family name . . . Then BAD JOE leaves and we SWING THE DOORS TO WHITE. We’re in GOOD JOE’s story.)
SCENE – MR PRESSMAN’S OFFICE MR PRESSMAN, talking into a mobile. PRESSMAN Eight o’ clock. (Pause.) Marjorie, eight o’ clock is fine. I’ve said I’ll come and
I’ll meet you outside. Yes. Right. I have to go now. I’ve got someone coming to see me.
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72
(GOOD JOE knocks and enters.)
PRESSMAN (Cont’d) Come in.
JOE COSEY.
GOOD JOE ‘CASEY’.
PRESSMAN ‘CASEY’. COME RIGHT IN, PLEASE DO. TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT. THAT’S WHAT I’M HERE FOR. OFF YOU GO.
GOOD JOE RIGHT. LOOK. I MAY HAVE GOT THIS WRONG LAST NIGHT. BUT I THOUGHT I OVERHEARD SOME PLANS FOR CASEY
STREET. NOW . . .
(JOE continues talking under.) (Music – “My Girl”)
PRESSMAN MY WIFE’S MAD AT ME
I DIDN’T WANT TO SEE THE FILM TONIGHT SHE FINDS IT HARD TO TAKE SHE THINKS I’VE HAD ENOUGH OF HER WHY CAN’T SHE SEE SHE’S LOVELY TO ME BUT TRAGIC’LY NOT AS NICE AS JULIE IN RECEPTION WHO’S NINETEEN
(Music stops dead.)
GOOD JOE (Cont’d) (stands) Were you even listening to me?
PRESSMAN (a dreadful pause) For your information the last man who raised his finger to
me was very, very sorry he did it. Boys?
MUSIC NO 16a: SCENE CHANGE UNDERSCORE GOOD JOE What?
(Some HEAVIES wade in and throw GOOD JOE out of the door . . . )
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73
PRESSMAN (Cont’d) Can you escort Mister Cosey through the ‘Very Special Visitor’s’ exit?
GOOD JOE Wa-haaargh…..
(GOOD JOE is thrown out through a fire door and disappears with a clang. MR
PRESSMAN grabs the phone.)
PRESSMAN (into mobile) Danny? This is Harold Pressman. We have a small obstacle in Casey Street.
(Ominous underscore.)
GOOD JOE (half-bursts back in with HEAVIES) If you wanna fight, you’ve got it!
(The doors spin to black and instantly we’re in the BAD JOE story. This is a
SUPERFAST SWITCH.)
SCENE – PRESSMAN DEVELOPMENTS – PENTHOUSE
Underscore delivers the GANG into the flat, let in by BAD JOE who has a key to such places nowadays.
BAD JOE In we come, in we com-me! Steady, steady! Don’t miss – look , see? Lights in the steps – d’you notice that? (Leads them in.) And here – straight over here! Principal feature of the maisonette . . . Juliet Balcony out over the canal. How about that? How much would you pay for THAT boys?
ANGIE Woww-w.
BILLIE Didn’t I tell you? Didn’t I always say Joe Casey was a hot catch who was gonna come good?
SARAH No. You said he was a worthless no-hoper who was surrounded by gormless prats.
EMMO (laughs) Meaning who?
(They all look at him.)
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BAD JOE Now then. Friday the first. Special day. LEWIS Auntie Kath’s birthday. Tell y’ what we’re gonna give her. All night out in
the limo. Round the West End. What d’y reckon?
BAD JOE Brilliant. (Smiles.) What d’y think of mine? (It takes them all a few moments to realise . . . he means this flat.)
For all she’s done for everyone over the years! For bringing me up without dad. (To EMMO and LEWIS.) Taking these two in an’ bringing them up like her own kids . . .
BILLIE Joe, your mum is never gonna move out of Casey Street.
LEWIS It’s her castle.
BAD JOE This IS Casey Street!
LEWIS What?
BAD JOE What it’s gonna be. Well, ‘Boulevard’.
BILLIE ‘Casey Boulevard’?
ANGIE You’re gonna knock down Casey Street?
BAD JOE It’s not ‘knocking down’ it’s ‘regeneration’. Like Mister Pressman said, ‘things gotta fall for things to rise’.
EMMO Does she want to move?
LEWIS (pointedly) No. ’Cause like I said. It’s her castle.
BAD JOE Yeah well it’d stop feeling like a bloody castle if certain people stopped treating it like one. (Beat.) Look. It’s about safety, guys. For my mum, okay, who’s spent her life worrying about ‘scum’ out the high rise she thought were gonna break in. Well there’d be gates, okay? Lights in the steps. (Arms out.) All this. Marble. Stuff that looks like marble.
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LEWIS Goodbye Joe.
(Pause. LEWIS starts to go.)
BAD JOE Hey. HEY. Lewis. Can I remind you who bought you that limo.
LEWIS You bought the limo Joe, not the driver.
(LEWIS picks his cap up and goes out. He nods to EMMO to follow.)
EMMO Oh right. Are we . . . ? We’re not . . . ? Right.
(EMMO follows.)
BILLIE Actually can we scab a lift into town?
(They go too, pointedly. Pause.) BAD JOE And these are supposed to be our friends?
(SARAH doesn’t respond. BAD JOE realises and tries to perk her up.)
BAD JOE (Cont’d) Honest to God, Sarah, I really think Mister Pressman’s gonna take me on as
a partner for this. Can y’imagine, Mum seeing that up on the cranes? (Gestures.) ‘Pressman Casey’. (Pause.) Yeah?
(SARAH just looks at him.)
(s.v.) Bit of support, yeah? (He gathers his things to go.)
SARAH You earn support, Joe. You don’t marry it.
(He turns. He has no answer to that. So he just leaves.)
MUSIC NO 17: NW5 SARAH I WATCHED YOU CLIMB UP SAW YOU COME ALIVE FROM VERY HUMBLE BEGINNINGS IN NW5
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76
I HAVE HEARD YOU COME UP BELIEVING YOUR OWN LIES WITNESSED THE BLESSING RISE UP IN A VERY STRANGE DISGUISE THOUGH YOU HAVE BECOME A BURDEN ONE THING REMAINS, THAT’S FOR CERTAIN I WILL LOVE YOU ALL MY LIFE BUT WITHOUT YOU IN MY LIFE I WOULD GIVE YOU EVERYTHING FOR JUST THAT SMILE YOU BRING FOR JUST THAT SONG TO SING I WOULD GIVE YOU EVERYTHING FOR JUST THAT SMILE YOU BRING FOR JUST THAT SONG TO SING . . .
DAD I WATCHED YOU GROW UP
ONLY TO DESPISE SAW THE MADNESS STACK UP THROUGH TARPAULIN EYES
SARAH THOUGH WE FACE THE FINAL CURTAIN
ONE THING REMAINS, THAT’S FOR CERTAIN I WILL LOVE YOU ALL MY LIFE BUT WITHOUT YOU IN MY LIFE
SARAH + DAD I WOULD GIVE YOU EVERYTHING
FOR JUST THAT SMILE YOU BRING FOR JUST THAT SONG TO SING I WOULD GIVE YOU EVERYTHING FOR JUST THAT SMILE YOU BRING FOR JUST THAT SONG TO SING
(Underscore. In front of SARAH as she puts her coat on – (DAD holds it for her
but she seems unaware) – simultaneously we see BAD JOE and MR PRESSMAN crossing.)
BAD JOE (enters, laughing) . . . See the thing is, ANY other project – (does a ‘definite’ gesture) – one hundred per cent. But this Irish Estate – mentioning it to my friends, my wife, it’s a bit . . . Is there another maybe smaller project I could maybe start on?
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PRESSMAN (suddenly loses all avuncularity) Hey. There is no ‘other project’ Joe. An’ if you can’t hack this you might as well wimp out back to the minor league and spend y’r life doing up flats. I’ve told you. If you can’t do it with words, do it with muscle. Use the card. Call Danny.
SARAH + CHORUS I WOULD GIVE YOU EVERYTHING FOR JUST THAT SMILE YOU BRING FOR JUST THAT SONG TO SING I WOULD GIVE YOU EVERYTHING FOR JUST THAT SMILE YOU BRING FOR JUST THAT SONG TO SING . . . FOR THAT SMILE . . . (etc.) (She goes. DAD closes behind her and SPINS THEM TO WHITE. We’re in the
GOOD JOE story.)
SCENE – VERY POSH LAW FIRM
MUSIC NO 17a: EMBARRASSMENT (Reprise – Law Firm) (A be-wigged BARRISTER strides in, confidently, with his CLERK.)
CLERK (reading) RECEIVED A LETTER JUST THE OTHER DAY.
BARRISTER Good.
CLERK YOUNG MAN WANTS HELP WITH SOME MISSING HOUSE DEEDS
BARRISTER Excellent.
CLERK I GAVE HIM A NOTE OF OUR USUAL FEES.
BARRISTER Tremendous. GOOD JOE AND HE SAYS HE HASN’T GOT ANY MONEY.
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BARRISTER GOODBYE.
(GOOD JOE is there.)
GOOD JOE HELLO?
CLERK YOU’RE NOT TO COME SEE US NO MORE.
GOOD JOE But I haven’t even got in . . .
BARRISTER KEEP AWAY FROM OUR DOOR. Shoo.
(GOOD JOE is backed out.)
CLERK TRY HARPER SMITH MASSEY IN HAMPSTEAD. SLIGHTLY SMALLER. YOUNGER. CHEAPER . . .
(The CLERK is replaced by . . . HARPER SMITH MASSEY, LAWYERS . . . three LAWYERS in sharp suits, HARPER, SMITH and MASSEY.)
HARPER TOTAL BASTARDS THOSE BIG-TIME DEVELOPERS. THEY JUST . . .
SMITH THINK MONEY JUST BUYS THEM THE RIGHT . . .
MASSEY AND CONNECTIONS, AND POWER. GOD, THEY THINK MONEY’S EVERYTHING.
GOOD JOE (agreeing) AND THE THING IS I’VE NO MONEY TO FIGHT THEM.
(Slight pause.)
ALL THREE LAWYERS (packing up) WELL THEN YOU’RE NOT TO COME SEE US NO MORE.
GOOD JOE No. Hold on. Come back . . .
ALL THREE LAWYERS KEEP AWAY FROM OUR DOOR.
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79
(They all leave.)
SMITH (hangs back) TRY THAT LEGAL AID PLACE.
HARPER CAMDEN HIGH STREET
MASSEY USED TO BE THE ELECTRIC RHINO SEX SHOP.
(They are replaced by . . . CAMDEN HIGH STREET LAW FIRM . . . a frazzled tie-wrenched HARRASSED SMALL TIME LAWYER.)
SMALL TIME LAWYER Right so let’s just weigh up what we got here.
ON THE ONE SIDE, MULTI-MILLION POUND DEVELOPERS. (Looks.) ON THE OTHER, A BLOKE ON LEGAL AID.
(He massages his approaching migraine at the temples. Then sun comes out.)
SMALL TIME LAWYER (Cont’d) I think I’ll give this to our trainee. Sarah!
(Music stops. A girl replaces the SMALL TIME LAWYER. She is on the phone,
struggling with loads of papers, clearly under the kosh. It is SARAH.) SARAH Yes yes. Okay ten minutes. Tell them to come up now. I’ve a client half past
and then . . .
(CALLUM enters and hugs SARAH while she’s on the phone.)
CALLUM Sarah? Lunch!
SARAH . . . oh God, I’m in Camden Magistrates Court on that police bail thing . . .
CALLUM (nuzzling her) Lu-u-unchy lunch . . .
SARAH (to CALLUM, s.v., laughing) I can’t see them until about . . . (To CALLUM.) Stop it-t! . . . Four. Okay. Thanks, Sue. (Phone down.) Callum, you can’t just come in here annn hrmmmm . . .
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(CALLUM kisses her. She gives in and kisses him back. GOOD JOE looks down.)
SARAH (Cont’d) (sees GOOD JOE) Joe?
CALLUM Eh?
(They have both turned. GOOD JOE is sheepish, to CALLUM.)
GOOD JOE Let me remind y’. ‘Get y’r hands off my girl’. (He does a little mime of the
strike.)
CALLUM (hands up, mock) Oh my God. Joe Casey. Don’t hit me again.
GOOD JOE Sorry about all that, mate.
CALLUM (shakes) Hey.
SARAH What are you doing here, Joe?
GOOD JOE I need a lawyer.
SARAH Oh God. Now what’ve you done?
GOOD JOE No, no, no. I’m trying to save Casey Street ’cause there’s this guy who says he can kick me mum out unless the house . . . and . . . and there’s no proof and she . . . we . . . (Pause.) Maybe I’d better try another solicitors.
SARAH No, no. Hold on. (Turns to CALLUM.) Callum, you have to go.
CALLUM Charming.
SARAH No, I mean Billie and Angie are coming up with the wedding dress. It’s incredibly bad luck.
CALLUM Oh right, fair enough. See y’ later, mate. (He does a playful mock-scrap with JOE on the way out.)
(CALLUM goes. A beat.)
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81
GOOD JOE ‘Wedding’. Congratulations. (Pause.) I think I’ve been here before. Used to be the Electric Rhino Sex Shop. Emmo and Lewis once bought me a condom from here that played a tune.
SARAH (points, realising, slowly) Ohhhhmygodddd that WAS you. That WAS you playing the ‘Power Of Love’ out of your back pocket.
(SARAH laughs. GOOD JOE does too, then just watches her laughing. It dies. SARAH looks at him.)
MUSIC NO 17b: UNDERSCORE (My Girl / NW5 / Simple Equation) GOOD JOE The night I hit Callum I said I wished I’d never met you. (Beat, shakes head.)
Was such a lie. It’s impossible for anyone to wish that. Every second people spend with you, Sarah, it makes their lives better.
SARAH (s.v.) Stop, Joe. Please.
(Pause. This is really awkward.)
GOOD JOE I’ll save Casey Street, Sah. You just – go off an’ be happy. (Beat.) I never met anyone who deserves to be happy more than you.
(He looks at her. Then GOOD JOE turns and goes. SARAH is left alone.)
SARAH CAN YOU RAISE A FINAL CURTAIN? ONE THING REMAINS, THAT’S FOR CERTAIN
I WILL LOVE YOU ALL MY LIFE WITHOUT YOU IN MY LIFE . . .
(suddenly picks up phone) Sue, cancel the two o’ clock. Something’s come up.
(We lose the light on SARAH. The doors spin. We go to black. We’re in the
murky world of BAD JOE’S story.)
SCENE – ALLEY Underscore continues. All is low light. DAD is there.
BAD JOE Danny?
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82
(A shadow in the darkness.)
BAD JOE (Cont’d) Is that ‘Danny’? Harold Pressman gave me this number. Is your name
‘Danny’?
REECEY The Christian one. (He emerges into the light of the neons. It’s REECEY.)
BAD JOE Reecey! What the hell are you doing here?
REECEY Hello Jo-jo. Working for Harold Pressman. Same as you. I heard you’d gone legit. (Smiles.) Or are you about to prove otherwise?
(Pause.)
BAD JOE On the night of Friday the first, no-one will be in at number twenty five Casey Street. Some lads are taking the owner round the West End in a limo for her birthday.
REECEY ‘Twenty five’? Isn’t that your house, Joby?
(REECEY smiles a sort of ‘bloody hell, that’s a good one’ face and clicks his fingers for the money.)
DAD How low does a man have to be to sell his own house and break (in . . . )
BAD JOE Break in. I just need you to break in, Reecey. Nothing else. I just need that house to stop feeling a safe place to be.
REECEY I have done this before, Casey. Half now. You meet me with the other half at Camden Lock immediately after it’s done.
BAD JOE (beat, pauses handing it over) I just need it to stop feeling like a castle.
(REECEY snatches the money.)
REECEY Camden Lock, Jojo.
(REECEY and BAD JOE go their different ways.)
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83
DAD + CHORUS IT’S THE SIMPLE EQUATION OF WRONG VERSUS RIGHT
THE TERROR OF STANDING, ONE NORTH LONDON NIGHT THINKING YOU’D CHOSEN TO RUN THE RIGHT WAY, AND NOW WATCHING RIGHT GOING WRONG.
WHITE GOING GREY. SHOW ME NOW, WHICH WAY’S HIGH? IS THIS EARTH? IS THAT THE SKY? AND IF I KNEW, IF THINGS WERE CLEAR COULD I EVEN MAKE HIM HEAR?
(During this DAD SPINS THE DOORS to WHITE. We’re in GOOD JOE’S story.)
SCENE – MORRIS MINOR, CAMDEN BACK STREET
GOOD JOE is sleeping in the battered old Morris. Both doors are missing from this and it’s in a real state.
GOOD JOE Dad?
SARAH (O.S.) Joe?
(SARAH appears, looking wrecked. GOOD JOE almost jumps, frightened and
caught.)
GOOD JOE Sarah? What are you doing here?
SARAH Looking for you. Are you sleeping in this?
GOOD JOE (doesn’t want to answer this) Sarah that was the weirdest thing . . . my dad . . . it felt like I really just heard my dad’s voice . . . Have you been crying? (This isn’t answered, either.) Don’t think I ever got it going again after that day out. D’you remember? With Emmo and Lewis and . . . (swallows) . . . and the guys.
(There is a brief pause, a slightly golden one where they both remember that day.)
SARAH You said when you came in the office you were trying to save Casey Street. Tell me what you meant.
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84
GOOD JOE (tries to be efficient) Oh. Right. Well it’s about these developers. It’s a man called Pressman. The company’s called Pressman’s. They’re the ones built all them things up there. And what I think it is is they’re planning to . . . (Under.)
MUSIC NO 18: IT MUST BE LOVE
(The sung and the (quieter) spoken texts run together where marked.) SARAH I NEVER THOUGHT I'D MISS YOU
HALF AS MUCH AS I DO. AND I NEVER THOUGHT I'D FEEL THIS WAY THE WAY I FEEL ABOUT YOU. AS SOON AS I WAKE UP EVERY NIGHT, EVERY DAY. I KNOW THAT IT'S YOU I NEED TO TAKE THE BLUES AWAY IT MUST BE LOVE, LOVE, LOVE. IT MUST BE LOVE, LOVE, LOVE. NOTHING MORE, NOTHING LESS, LOVE IS THE BEST.
GOOD JOE (simultaneous with the above) . . . create something like villas, like luxury
villas, which means that they just (Gestures.) completely nix the whole of Casey Street. Now they've obviously offered money to mum to move her out of number twenty-five. And I don't know if she's signed anything or what the whole legal situation is, I don't know anything about law and I haven't got any money to pay for people who do, and – and – and Pressmans are gonna have the bloody – you know, the Rolls Royce of lawyers . . .
(Beat. They look at each other.) SARAH Okay. Well I did some research . . . (Under.) GOOD JOE HOW CAN IT BE THAT WE CAN
SAY SO MUCH WITHOUT WORDS? BLESS YOU AND BLESS ME BLESS THE BEES AND THE BIRDS.
SARAH (simultaneous with the above) . . . looked up the deeds. And I mean this
wasn’t straightforward getting this, I tell you. This was calling in favours of friends of friends, God – but there was something turned up. I found this . . .
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85
I mean I don’t know what it is but and I think this might be the document which would prove . . . which would prove . . . would actually say . . .
(She loses words as she looks up at GOOD JOE.) SARAH + GOOD JOE I’VE GOT TO BE NEAR YOU
EVERY NIGHT, EVERY DAY I COULDN’T BE HAPPY ANY OTHER WAY. IT MUST BE LOVE, LOVE, LOVE. IT MUST BE LOVE, LOVE, LOVE. NOTHING MORE, NOTHING LESS, LOVE IS THE BEST.
(Underscore.)
SARAH Your Dad took them, Joe. They’ve got a record. About a month after he last came out of prison, he came in and took the deeds. Why, I don’t know, if he didn’t try and sell it, but . . . (She looks down at a file.) A while after, he returned this. (Beat.) I am so dead if anyone finds I took it. I asked so many friends of friends . . . (She hands over an envelope.) Pressman’s boys wouldn’t’ve noticed. Someone looking for deeds would never notice something just marked ‘For Joe.’
(GOOD JOE opens it. Pulls out a small piece of card, and some papers.)
SARAH (frowns, leans in) That your mum and dad?
GOOD JOE ‘The Simplest Dance in the Universe. Winning couple. Margate Pier.’
SARAH He took that from the house?
(There’s a look between them.)
SARAH So is that – what I think? Is that the deeds?
GOOD JOE (opens a piece of paper, looks at her) You’re incredible, Sarah.
(He wants to hold her. But realises he can’t. So he shakes her hand. They shake hands. And keep shaking . . . )
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86
SARAH + JOE I’VE GOT TO BE NEAR YOU EV’RY NIGHT, EV’RY DAY I KNOW THAT IT’S YOU I NEED TO CHASE THE BLUES AWAY. IT MUST BE LOVE LOVE LOVE IT MUST BE LOVE LOVE LOVE. IT MUST BE LOVE LOVE LOVE IT MUST BE LOVE LOVE LOVE. NOTHING MORE, NOTHING LESS, LOVE IS THE BEST.
(Music ends.) GOOD JOE I can go home.
(The two lovers look at each other.)
SARAH You got your dream. You’re proving my mates wrong, Mister Casey.
GOOD JOE And you’re a lawyer, so you got yours, Mrs . . . ? What’s that make you
now?
SARAH (pause) I didn’t get married, Joe. Sometimes, no matter how much you love someone, you can’t say ‘yes’.
GOOD JOE Right. I didn’t know. That’s very sad. MUSIC NO 18a: TAG After Scene
(SARAH nods, turns and goes. GOOD JOE stays nodding sombrely until she’s
gone.)
GOOD JOE (Cont’d) Could this day get any (Jumps up.) better?!
MUSIC NO 19: THE SUN AND THE RAIN – Reprise (Stallholders)
SCENE – CAMDEN MARKET
STALLHOLDERS plough in. The sign ‘CAMDEN MARKET’ appears. They set up stalls during:
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87
GOOD JOE I’m coming home, mum!
IT’S RAINING AGAIN A CRACK IN THE CLOUDS REVEALS BLUE SKIES I’VE BEEN FEELING SO LOW BUT NOW EVERYTHING IS ON MY SIDE THE SUN AND THE RAIN WALK WITH ME, FILL MY HEART AGAIN. I FEEL THE RAIN FALLING ON MY FACE I CAN SAY THERE IS NO BETTER PLACE THAN STANDING UP IN THE FALLING DOWN IN SO MUCH RAIN I COULD ALMOST DROWN.
STALLHOLDER 1 (MALE) WHO WILL BUY MY INDIAN JOSS STICKS?
INCENSE BURNERS DIRECT FROM NEPAL?
STALLHOLDER 2 (MALE) SUCH FINE OFFENSIVE T-SHIRTS.
RUDE WORDS. OBSCENE DESIGNS.
STALLHOLDER 3 (FEMALE) LOOK AT MY WIDE RANGE OF EXOTIC BATH SOAPS
MADE FROM SOME THINGS YOU WOULD NORMALLY EAT.
STALLHOLDER 4 (MALE) RI-I-IPE CANNABIS, RI-I-IPE.
(Repeat all, simultaneously, once.)
GOOD JOE + MARKETEERS I FEEL THE RAIN FALLING ON MY FACE . . .
I CAN SAY THERE IS NO BETTER PLACE THAN STANDING UP IN THE FALLING DOWN IN SO MUCH RAIN I COULD ALMOST DROWN . . .
(Underscore – DANCE OF CAMDEN MARKET)
(There’s a thunderclap. The STALLHOLDERS all look up, feel for rain, turn their stalls over and immediately convert to selling ‘Union Jack’ umbrellas . . . )
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88
GOOD JOE + MARKETEERS (whispered) IT’S RAINING AGAIN, IT’S RAINING AGAIN
IT’S RAINING AGAIN, IT’S RAINING AGAIN IT’S RAINING AGAIN, IT’S RAINING AGAIN IT’S WHOA-A-A . . .
(sung) I FEEL THE RAIN FALLING ON MY FACE I CAN SAY THERE IS NO BETTER PLACE THAN STANDING UP IN THE FALLING DOWN IN SO MUCH RAIN I COULD ALMOST DROWN . . .
(GOOD JOE goes behind the open umbrellas . . . which then shut to reveal BAD JOE. It’s magical. The doors snap to black.)
BAD JOE IT’S RAINING AGAIN I’M HEARING IT PITTER PATTER DOWN IT’S WET IN THE STREET REFLECTING THE LIGHTS AND SPLASHING FEET. NOWHERE TO GO, AND NOTHING I HAVE TO DO.
(checks his watch) C’mon Reecey. Where ARE y’?
(The umbrellas part to reveal EMMO and LEWIS in their grey chauffeur gear.)
BAD JOE Emmo? Lewis? What the hell are you two doing here? What happened to Mum’s birthday trip in the limo?
EMMO She wouldn’t come.
BAD JOE (horrified) She’s still in the house?
LEWIS Funny enough not everyone’s idea of a birthday present is limousine, Joe. Some people would rather just stay and wait and hope that their son might come home to visit.
BAD JOE (races off) No. No, no, no! She’s still in the house! REECEY!
MARKETEERS I FEEL THE RAIN FALLING ON MY FACE I CAN SAY THERE IS NO BETTER PLACE THAN STANDING UP IN THE FALLING DOWN IN SO MUCH RAIN I COULD ALMOST DROWN . . .
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89
(The doors are now spinning continuously as we see both GOOD and BAD JOES rushing towards the house through the umbrellas of the market, whose singing accumulates . . . )
MARKETEERS DOOBY DOO DOOBY DOO DOO DOO DOOBY DOOBY DOOBY DOO DOO DOO.
BAD JOE Reecey!
MARKETEERS DOOBY DOO DOOBY DOO DOO DOO DOOBY DOOBY DOOBY DOO DOO DOO.
GOOD JOE I’m coming home, Mum!
MARKETEERS DOOBY DOO DOOBY DOO DOO DOO DOOBY DOOBY DOOBY DOO DOO DOO.
BAD JOE Mum!
MARKETEERS DOOBY DOO DOOBY DOO DOO DOO DOOBY DOOBY DOOBY DOO DOO DOO.
GOOD JOE Mum!
MARKETEERS THE SUN SHINES EAST, THE SUN SHINES WEST BUT I KNOW WHERE THE SUN SHINES BEST CASEY STREET IN THE AFTERNOON ONCE AGAIN IT’S OVER TOO SOON.
( . . . to suddenly clear, as the stage clears to reveal . . . )
MARKETEERS AHHH, AHHH, AHHH
SCENE – CASEY STREET
. . . where the house is on fire.
(GOOD JOE stares at it. BAD JOE stares at it. Vocal Underscore.)
GOOD + BAD JOE Mum!
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90
(They both start to rush for the door, but both are restrained by separate groups of onlookers.)
GOOD JOE’S ONLOOKERS JOE! JOE!
(GOOD JOE’S ONLOOKERS part to reveal KATH.)
BAD JOE She’s in the house! My mum’s in the house!
(BAD JOE’S ONLOOKERS pull him away from entering the house.)
GOOD JOE (gently) Mum?
(BAD JOE collapses to his knees surrounded by his ONLOOKERS. GOOD JOE is
left alone with KATH by their ONLOOKERS. They look at each other as if afraid each is a ghost.)
GOOD JOE (Cont’d) You could’ve been in there.
MUM Shhh.
GOOD JOE You could’ve been in the house. You could’ve been in . . .
KATH (calms him, finger on his lips) Your girl came and told me where you were
sleeping, Joe. Your girl, my God, who loves you, golden boy.
GOOD JOE Pressman will have done this, Mum. I came back to save it and . . .
KATH (shushing him like a baby) You came back to me, Joe Casey. Not the house. (She holds him.) You came back to me.
(KATH hugs him on one side of the stage as BAD JOE is helped away in the middle of his ONLOOKERS.)
SCENE – CHURCH
Doors spin to black. All is blackness and death. We’re in BAD JOE’s story. Vocal Underscore continues (+ organ). A very simple wooden coffin. A very simple cross. A very simple light. The PRIEST, EMMO, LEWIS, BILLIE, ANGIE and SARAH. They’re in black. BAD JOE comes in. Music ends.)
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91
LEWIS Police reckon it was someone breaking in. Dropped a fire bomb. Good that, innit? (Pause.) Should’ve told us you had something planned, Joe. We’d’ve tried harder to get her in the limo . . . EMMO Whoa . . . (LEWIS flies at him and has to be restrained by EMMO.) EMMO (Cont’d) Whoa, whoa whoa. Come on big man. (It’s now clear BAD JOE is crying.) LEWIS Don’t you dare. Don’t you dare cry now. BAD JOE (s.v., like a baby) It’s my Mum. LEWIS She is now. On Friday she was the woman you wanted out of Casey Street. EMMO Come on. (The lads leave.) BILLIE Eh Joe. Good job Sarah went into law. ANGIE I reckon y’r gonna need it. (BILLIE and ANGIE go. Pause. SARAH looks at JOE for some kind of
confirmation he had nothing to do with this.)
SARAH Wasn’t, was it Joe? You didn’t have anything to do with this?
(Pause.)
BAD JOE Sarah. We might have to reinforce the truth a bit.
(SARAH looks at him. Her hands slowly rise to cup her mouth at the horror of what’s coming . . . )
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92
SARAH (s.s.s.v.) Ohhhhmygod.
BAD JOE No, no, no, just to be safe. For the future. For the both of us. Just to be safe, yeah?
SARAH Y’r still running aren’t you, Joe? The crimes just got bigger.
BAD JOE It’s not – don’t say ‘crime’. Sarah, if anyone asks if I wanted mum out of Casey Street I need to know y’d say the right thing.
(SARAH looks at him.)
SARAH No matter how much you love someone, Joe, there’s times in life you can’t say ‘yes’.
MUSIC NO 19a: SIMPLE EQUATION (Reprise)
DAD SUDDENLY
WRONG TURNS BACK TO RIGHT BLACK TURNS SLOWLY BACK TO WHITE SKIES ALL SUDDENLY COME CLEAR WE SEE HOW WE GOT TO HERE
(We hear a sentence delivered by a judge.)
JUDGE Daniel Reece you have named Joseph Casey as an accomplice. You will both be remanded pending further investigation into the charges of arson and manslaughter brought against you by the crown . . .
(The prison gates appear.)
BAD JOE I NEED A MOMENT TO REFLECT ON THE FRIENDSHIPS I HAVE WRECKED.
(BAD JOE goes to prison.)
SCENE – PRIMROSE HILL
The doors spin to white. All is brightness and light. We’re in GOOD JOE’s story.
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93
MUSIC NO 20: PRIMROSE HILL / OUR HOUSE (Reprise)
(Underscore. Everyone piles on for a party on Primrose Hill. EMMO and LEWIS with BILLIE and ANGIE and balloons and a camera.)
EMMO They’re comin’! (Points.) They’re coming. Quick.
LEWIS Did you get a wedding present?
EMMO Yeah. I got ’em a ‘Surprise Harmony’ condom.
LEWIS What?
EMMO Well it’s nice for a young couple, y’know? I mean they don’t work, but they do mean y’r kids grow up very musical.
(KATH enters. General cheer.)
KATH Well. There’s one thing about a registry office. It’s a bloomin’ sight shorter than the Catholic service.
(HONKK-K . . . all turn to see . . . GOOD JOE pushes SARAH on – she’s standing up in the Morris minor which has broken down again, but is sparkling, done up, bows on, flashing chaser lights round it and wearing a bow tie. The fans are on so her wedding veil is billowing out behind her. They all cheer.)
GOOD JOE Sarah, this is now our mum. (Shows her round.) Our Emmo. Our Lewis.
(BILLIE and ANGIE step forward for theirs . . . )
GOOD JOE (Cont’d) And your mates.
ANGIE Oi.
EMMO (top off) Let’s hit Primrose Hill an’ party.
ANGIE God, Emmo. You’ve got a decent body, y’know that?
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94
LEWIS Yeah. I thought I might take my top off an’ all . . .
BILLIE + ANGIE No.
LEWIS Fair point.
SARAH Photograph!
(They all go to arrange themselves as . . .)
GOOD JOE Photograph for you, too. (He gives KATH the photo of Margate.) ‘The
Simplest Dance in the Universe’.
(KATH immediately remembers the moment, right from the start of the story.)
KATH (hand to mouth) Oh baby.
GOOD JOE I think he came back, Mum. I think he was gonna sell the house, broke in to take stuff – but he found that. And that memory’s what made him . . . (Pause – Kath looks at the envelope, in tears.)
KATH ‘For Joe’.
DAD I didn’t want – I didn’t mean . . .
GOOD JOE It wasn’t simple for him, Mum. I think I understand now. He could’ve done the wrong thing for the right reasons. An’ made mistakes. An’ hurt you . . .
EMMO It’s taking!
GOOD JOE We can rebuild it, Mum. Pressman, all his plans – Reecey named him as an accomplice. He’s gone down for years.
KATH (takes JOE’s face in her hands) You go to your girl, Joe Casey. And Casey Street will be wherever you two build it.
EVERYONE Five, four, three . . .
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95
(KATH goes back to the photo . . . )
DAD + JOE NOW WE DRAW THE FINAL CURTAIN, ONE THING REMAINS, THAT’S FOR CERTAIN
I WILL LOVE YOU ALL MY LIFE BUT WITHOUT YOU IN MY LIFE . . . DAD (calls) Joe?
(The membrane between them, at parting, is so thin, that GOOD JOE hears.)
DAD (Cont’d) Gonna miss you, mate. But I think I have to go now.
(Beat.)
GOOD JOE I know.
SARAH Oi! Did we get married or what?
(GOOD JOE turns and runs back, missing his father’s touch.)
EVERYONE Two, one . . .
EMMO Smile!
EVERYONE (shout) YEAH!
(Flash.)
EVERYONE (Cont’d) OUR HOUSE
IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR STREET OUR HOUSE IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR – OUR HOUSE IS OUR CASTLE AND OUR KEEP OUR HOUSE IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR – OUR HOUSE IS OUR CASTLE AND OUR KEEP
OUR HOUSE
96
OUR HOUSE IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR – OUR HOUSE IS OUR CASTLE AND OUR KEEP OUR HOUSE IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR – OUR HOUSE IS OUR CASTLE AND OUR KEEP OUR HOUSE IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR –
(As the gang sing, time winds back to the birthday party of JOE at the start. Banners balloons, signs saying HAPPY SIXTEENTH JOE . . . )
EVERYONE (Cont’d) WELCOME TO THE HOUSE OF FUN
WELCOME TO THE HOUSE OF FUN WELCOME TO THE HOUSE OF FUN WELCOME TO THE HOUSE OF FUN WELCOME TO THE HOUSE OF FUN WELCOME TO THE HOUSE OF FUN WELCOME TO THE HOUSE OF FUN WELCOME TO THE HOUSE OF FUN WELCOME TO THE HOUSE OF FUN WELCOME TO THE HOUSE OF FUN WELCOME TO THE HOUSE OF FUN WELCOME TO THE HOUSE OF FUN
(Hung pause . . . )
SARAH Sixteen, Joe! Where d’you go when you can go anywhere?
(Music sting, a moment of magic . . . )
GOOD JOE (beams) Let’s go dancing.
COMPANY IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR STREET!
(JOE and SARAH kiss!)
(Curtain.)
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97
MUSIC NO 21: BOWS COMPANY OUR HOUSE
IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR STREET OUR HOUSE IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR STREET OUR HOUSE
IS OUR CASTLE AND OUR KEEP OUR HOUSE IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR STREET
WELCOME TO THE HOUSE OF FUN / OUR HOUSE NOW WE’VE COME OF AGE / IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR –WELCOME TO THE LION’S DEN / OUR HOUSE IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR STREET
MUSIC NO 22: ENCORE / PLAY OUT COMPANY OH WHAT FUN WE HAD
BUT AT THE TIME IT SEEMED SO BAD TRYING DIFFERENT WAYS TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE TO THE . . .
OH WHAT FUN WE HAD
BUT AT THE TIME IT SEEMED SO BAD TRYING DIFFERENT WAYS TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE TO THE . . .
BAGGY TROUSERS. BAGGY TROUSERS. BAGGY TROUSERS. NA NA NA NA . . . (x3) OI!
Josef Weinberger Limited
Tel: +44 (0)20-7580 2827 Fax: +44 (0)20-7436 [email protected] www.josef-weinberger.com
12 - 14 Mortimer StreetLondon W1T 3JJ
By TIM FIRTH
Music and Lyrics by MADNESS
VOCAL BOOK
OUR HOUSE Book © Copyright 2009 by Tim Firth
Edition © Copyright 2009 by Josef Weinberger Limited, London All Rights Reserved
For individual song copyright details, see appendix.
PHOTOCOPYING THIS COPYRIGHT MATERIAL IS ILLEGAL
Applications to perform this musical must be made, BEFORE REHEARSALS COMMENCE, to:
JOSEF WEINBERGER LIMITED
12 - 14 Mortimer Street London W1T 3JJ United Kingdom
Tel: +44 (0)20 7580 2827 Fax: +44 (0)20 7436 9616 www.josef-weinberger.com
September 2009
MUSICAL NUMBERS ACT ONE
1. Opening (Instrumental) .....................................................................1 1a. Los Palmas Seven (Underscore) (Instrumental)...................................1 2. Our House (Priest, Joe, Emmo, Lewis, Casey St. Residents) .................1 2a. Our House Playoff (Instrumental) ......................................................5 2b. Balcony Underscore (Instrumental) ....................................................5 3. Simple Equation (Dad) .....................................................................5 4. My Girl (Emmo, Bad Joe, Lewis) .......................................................7 4a. Simple Equation – Reprise (Dad) ...................................................10 4b. Magistrates’ Court (All I Wanted / My Girl) (Kath, Dad, Lads) .......11 5. Baggy Trousers (Reecey, Schoolkids, Mr Jesmond, Bad Joe).................12 5a. Simple Equation – Reprise (Dad) ...................................................17 6. Embarrassment
(Careers Officer, Reecey, Billie, Angie, Emmo, Neighbours, Lewis, Aunt, Uncle, Security Guards, Kath, Grandad, Good Joe) ..................18
6a. Embarrassment Playoff (Instrumental) ............................................20 6b. Baggy Trousers Underscore (Instrumental) ......................................20 7. Embarrassment – Reprise (Encouragement Version) (Bad Joe, Heather, Sales Reps, London Alarms Boss,) ..........................21 7a. Baggy Trousers / Our House Underscore (Instrumental)..................22 8. Driving In My Car (Good Joe, Lewis, Emmo, Billie, Angie, Sarah) ....23 8a-I. My Girl – Reprise (Ballad Version) (Sarah, Dad).............................25 8a-II. Driving In My Car – Reprise (Dad, Bad Joe, Salesman)....................25 8b. After Driving In My Car (Instrumental) ...........................................25 8c. Simple Equation – Reprise (Dad, Chorus) ........................................26 9. The Return Of The Los Palmas Seven (Instrumental) ......................27 10. Shut Up (Reecey, Coppers, Good Joe ) ................................................28 11. Tormorrow’s Just Another Day / The Sun and the Rain (Prisoners, Good Joe, Girls Chorus, Bad Joe, Sarah) ............................30
ACT TWO 12. Night Boat To Cairo (Dad) ............................................................36 12a. Night Boat (Vegas Underscore) (Instrumental) ................................37 13. Wings Of A Dove (Carib Combo, Billie, Angie, All) ........................38 14. One Better Day (Dad, Good Joe, Chorus, Kath) ...............................44 14a. Our House – Reprise (Good Joe, Dad) ............................................47 15. Rise And Fall (Good Joe, Chorus) .....................................................48 16. House Of Fun / Rise And Fall / My Girl (Bad Joe, Julie, Good Joe, Mr. Pressman, Chorus) ..............................50 16a. Scene Change (Underscore) (Instrumental) .....................................52 17. N.W.5 (Sarah, Dad, Chorus) ...........................................................53 17a. Embarrassment – Reprise (Law Firm) (Clerk, Barrister, Good Joe, Harper, Smith, Massey, Harrassed Small-Time Lawyer.) .......................................................57 17b. Underscore (My Girl / NW5 / Simple Equation) (Sarah, Dad, Chorus) .......................................................................59 18. It Must Be Love (Sarah, Good Joe) ..................................................61 19. The Sun And The Rain – Reprise (Stallholders) (Good Joe, Bad Joe, Stallholders, Chorus) ..........................................64 19a. Simple Equation (Reprise) (Dad, Bad Joe) ......................................71 20. Primrose Hill / Our House (Reprise) (Dad, Good Joe, Company) ....72 21. Bows (Company) .............................................................................74 22. Encore / Play Off (Company) ..........................................................76
Vocal Book
q = 123
Fa ther- wears his Sun day- best Mo ther's- tired she needs a rest, the
9
kids are play ing- up down stairs.- Sis ter's- sigh ing- in her sleep.
Oh12
Bro ther's- got a date to keep he can't hang a round.- Our house
CHORUS15
in the mid dle- of our street. Our house in the mid dle- of our
18
Our house it has a crowd there's al ways- some thing- pen ing- and it's
21
© Copyright 2009 by Josef Weinberger Ltd., LondonPHOTOCOPYING THIS COPYRIGHT MATERIAL IS ILLEGAL
us ual- ly- quite loud. Our mum she's so house proud.
24
Q - Joe: There's a wrong way and a right way.It's a pretty simple equation. (Doorbell.)
2. Our House
OUR HOUSE1. Opening – TACET
1a. Los Palmas Seven – TACET
Joe
Priest
B.V.
Joe Emmo + Lewis
Joe
hap -
Emmo + Lewis
No thing- e ver- slows her down and a mess is not al - lowed. Our house
CHORUS27
in the mid dle- of our street. Our house in the mid dle- of our
30
Our house is our cast tle- and our keep. Our house in the mid dle- of our
33
Our house in the mid dle- of our street. Our house
Gentle37
in the mid dle- of our Our house is our cas tle- and our
44
keep. Our house in the mid dle- of
mf
De da de da de
47
da de da de da de da de da de da
50
Ay
mf
yah yah yah Ay yah yah
53
Na
mf
na na na na na naaa Na na na na na na naaa
Everyone
(Dialogue) Everyone
Casey Street Inhabitants
Girls
Boys
3 3
2. Our House 2
yah Ay yah yah yah Ay yah yah
57
Na na na na na na naaa Na na na na na na naaa
Na
ff
na na na na na naa Na na na na na na naa Na na na na na Na na na na na na Na na Na na
61
na na naa Na na na na na na naa Na na na na na na naa Na na na na na Na na na na na na
64
Na na Na na na na naa
VAMP - Cut on cue (4th X?)67
VAMP TILL READY
VAMP - Cut on cue73
Our house in the mid dle- of our street. Our house
CHORUS83
in the mid dle- of our Our house is our cas tle- and our
86
3 3
Everyone
Q to cut: "Fem-safe Femidom"
Q to go on: Billie: ". . . Asda bag but it's alright."
Sarah: "GIRLS!"Cut on Joe: " . . . flavour? . . . Right"
Everyone
2. Our House 3
Wel come- to the house of
89
keep. Our house in the mid dle- of our Our house
fun. Wel come- to the li on's- den.
92
in the mid dle- of our street. Our house in the mid dle- of our
Wel come- to the house of fun now I've come of age. Wel come- to the li on's- den
95
Our house in the mid dle- of our street. Our house
temp ta- tion's- on his way. Wel come- to the house of fun now I'm come of age
98
in the mid dle- of our Our house in the mid dle- of our
Wel come- to the li on's- den In the mid dle- of our street.
Segue PLAY OFF101
Our house in the mid dle- of our street.
2. Our House 4
q = 160
Ooh Aah
9
Ooh Aah
13
Ooh Aah
17
It's the
Slightly slower q = 15221
sim ple- e qua- tion- of wrong ver sus- right. Pro blem- as ea sy- as
29
Q - V.O.: "This is the police."
3. Simple Equation
2a. Our House Playoff – TACET
2b. Balcony Underscore – TACET
Girls B.V.
Joe's Dad
5
black ver sus- white the sim ple- e qua- tion- of night ver sus- day
32
Fac ing- the mus ic- or run ning- a way- 'Cos with out- low
35
there is no high. If no thing- fell there'd be no sky.
38
Is it al ways- so ve ry- clear? It's the
41
days that sep a- rate- the night. The
45
Days that sep a- rate- the night.
sha dows- by which we re cog- nise- the light.
49
Sha dows- by which we re cog- nise- the light.
B.V.
3. Simple Equation6
My girl's mad at me
Slowly q = 120Faster
I did n't- want to see the film to night.- I found it hard to
6
say. She thought I'd had e nough- of her. Why can't she see?
9
She's love ly- to me. But I like to stay
13
in and watch T. V. on my own, ev ery- now and then.
17
My girl's mad at me Been on the te le- -
21
phone for an hour. We hard ly- said a word.
25
I tried and tried but I could not be heard. Why can't I ex -
28
Q - Sarah: "Maybe I'm not such a good judge of character."
Emmo
4. My Girl
3 3
Bad Joe
3
7
Why can't she see? She's love ly- to me. But I like to stay
31
plain? Why do I feel this pain?
in And watch T V on my own
35
She does n't- un der- stand.- She takes it all the wrong
(way.) My girl
Underscore38
We talked and talked un til- it was light. I thought we'd a -
47
greed. I thought we'd talked it out. Now when I try to speak
50
She sort of says. I don't care She says I'm un a- ware- And now she says I'm
54
weak. La la la la la
57
Emmo
3 3
(Lewis bursts in . . . )
Lewis
Bad Joe
3
3 3
Emmo Bad Joe Emmo Bad Joe Emmo Bad Joe
Lads3
4. My Girl8
na na na na na la la la la la la na na na na na na na
rall.69
na na na na
Slow UnderscoreSlow
74
Why do I feel this pain?
85
She does n't- un der- stand- she does n't- re al- ise.- She takes it all... the wrong...
rall.
Dead Segue
90
3 3
Muted Tpt solo3
Bad Joe
3 Tpt
Dad
4. My Girl 9
...way
q = 160
Ooh Aah Ooh
Aah It's the sim ple- e qua- tion- of
q = 1527
night ver sus- day of own ing- up clean ly,- or run ning- a way.- So
14
what would have hap pen'd- that Cam den- Town night if gol den- boy Joe took the
17
path that seemed right Cos' with out- love there is no high.
20
With out- love, no stars, no sky Will this rise
23
where that one fell. Is it so hard to tell.
rall.26
Joe's Dad
4a. Simple Equation - Reprise
B.V.
Joe's Dad
10
q = 140
2nd X: Rall2nd X: Rall9
All I want ed- was a word, a noth- er- look a mo ment- more,
21
All I want ed- was a word, a chance to ask what is this for?
25
All I want ed- was a word, whenboth the wrong path and the right
29
All I want ed- was a word, leave him lone ly- in the
rall.33
night. Why do I feel this pain?
Slower37
She does n't- un der- stand- she does n't- re al- ise.-
rall.41
She takes it all... the wrong (way...)
44
Q - Solicitor: "...custodial sentences..."
Dad: "Custodial?"Joe: " ...you mean like prison?"
(Guitar)
4b. Magistrates’ Court (All I Wanted/My Girl)
Q - Kath: "That doesn't mean you're allowed to touch him."
Kath Dad
Kath Dad
Kath Dad
Kath Dad
(Tpt solo)3
Bad Joe 3
(Tpt)
Cutoff Q - Reecey:"Well, well, well."
11
Naugh ty- boys in nas ty- schools head mas- ter's- break ing- all the rules.
q = 140
Verse 1
Hav ing- fun and play ing- fools. Smash ing- up the wood work- tools. All the teach ers- in the pub,
7
pass ing- round the read y- rub,- try ing- not to think of when the lunch time- bell will ring a gain.-
Chorus
10
Oh what fun we had but did it real ly- turn out bad. All I learnt at school was
13
how to bend not break the rule. Oh what fun we had but at the time it seemed so bad.
16
Try ing- diff erent- ways to make a diff erence- to the days!
Verse 219
The head mas- ter's- had e nough- to day-
All the kids have gone a way.- Gone to fight with next door's school. Ev ery- term that is the rule.
23
Q - Reecey: "As of today . . . school's out!" (Bell rings).
Reecey
5. Baggy Trousers
+ Schoolkids
Reecey
Mr Jesmond Reecey
12
Sits a lone- and bends his cane, same old back sides- a gain.- All the small ones tell tall tales
26
walk ing- home and squash ing- snails. Oh what fun we had but did it real ly- turn out bad.
Chorus29
All I learnt at school was how to bend not break the rule. Oh what fun we had but
32
at the time it seemed so bad. Try ing- diff erent- ways to make a diff erence- to the
35
days EIGHT SEVEN SIX FIVE FOUR THREE TWO ONE FREE DOM-
38
Lots of girls and lots of boys. Lots of smells and lots of noise.
Verse 346
Play ing- foot ball- in the park. Kick ing- push bikes- af ter- dark. Bag gy- trou sers- dir ty- shirts
57
Pull ing- hair and eat ing- dirt Teach er- comes to break it up. Back of the head with a plas tic- cup.
60
Gang
+ Schoolkids
Dialogue (Mr Jesmond) Schoolkids The bell goes . . .
Schoolkids
5. Baggy Trousers 13
Oh
choir-like
what fun we had but did it real ly- turn out bad. All I learnt at school was
Chorus63
how to bend not break the rule. Oh what fun we had but at the time it seemed so bad.
66
Try ing- diff erent- ways to make a diff erence- to the
Dance BreakFaster69
91
Oh what fun we had but at the time it seemed so bad.
113
Try ing- diff erent- ways to make a diff erence- to the Wel come- to the li on's- den
q = 140
119
temp ta- tion's- on his way. Wel come- to the li on's- den temp ta- tion's- on his way.
122
Schoolkids
1X: Reecey2X: Reecey & Bad Joe
5. Baggy Trousers14
Wel come- to the li on's- den temp ta- tion's- on his way. Wel come- to the li on's- den
125
Bag gy- trou sers.- Bag gy- trou sers.- Bag gy- trou sers.-
temp ta- tion's- on his way. Wel
mf gradual cresc.
come- to the li on's- den temp ta- tion's- on his way.
128
Temp ta- tion's- on his way. Bag
mf
gy- trou sers.- Bag gy- trou sers.-
School's
mf
out. Na na na na na na
Wel come- to the li on's- den temp ta- tion's- on his way. Wel come- to the li on's- den
131
Bag gy- trou sers.- Temp ta- tion's- on his way. Bag
mf
gy- trou sers.-
School's out. Temp ta- tion's- on his way.
mf
School's out.
Reecey & Bad Joe
Schoolkids 2
Schoolkids 3
5. Baggy Trousers 15
temp ta- tion's- on his way. Wel come- to the li on's-
p
Huh huh huh huh
134
Bag gy- trou sers.- Bag gy- trou sers.-
p
Huh huh huh huh
Na na na na na na School's out.
p
Huh huh huh huh
huh huh huh huh huh huh Oh what fun we had but at the time it seemedso bad.
137
Try ing- diff erent- ways to make a diff erence- to the Ba ggy- trou sers-
141
Ba ggy- trou sers- Ba ggy- trou sers- Na
ff
na na na Oi!
rall.
Segue
144
All
5. Baggy Trousers16
It's a sim ple- e qua- tion- you got ta- ex pect- cor -
q = 152
rec tion- al- in sti- tutes- make you cor rect- Sure ly- you're goin' to em erge-
11
in a world whereyou're on the right path right mates right girl?
14
After applause - No cue
Joe's Dad
5a. Simple Equation (Reprise)
Cutoff Q - Emmo: "This is nuts!"
17
Re ceived- a let ter- just the oth er- day don't seem they wan na-
q. = 152
know you no more. They laid it down giv ing- you their score.
4
With in- the first two lines it blunt ly- read: You're not to come and see
Verse 17
us no more, keep a way- from our door.
10
Don't come round here no more. What on earth did you
13
do that for? Our Aunt she don't wan na- know she says
Verse 216
what will the neigh bours- think, they'll think... We don't. That's
19
what they'll think. We don't. But I will 'cos I know they think I don't.
22
Q - Joe: "Take me or leave me."
Careers Officer Reecey
6. Embarrassment
Angie
Billie
Billie + Angie
Emmo
Aunt Neighbours Aunt
Neighbours Aunt
18
Our un cle- he don't wan na- know he says We are a dis grace- to the
Middle25
hu man- race He says How can you show your face,
28
when you're a dis grace- to the hu man- race?
31
No com mit- ment-
37
you're an em bar- rass- ment.- Yes an em bar- rass- ment- a liv ing- en dorse- ment.-
43
The in ten- tion- that you have booked. Was an in ten- tion- that was
46
o ver- looked.- They say stay a way-
Verse 349
Don't want you home to day- Keep a way-
52
from our door Don't come round here no more. Our dad don't
Verse 455
Lewis Uncle
Lewis Uncle
Dialogue
Q to cut - Dog Man: "...Hoo hoo!"
Q - Joe: "...and say that I'm areformed young offender."
Security Guards
Billie + Angie
Kath
6. Embarrassment 19
wan na- know he says. This is a ser i- ous- mat ter.-
59
Too late to re con- sid- - er No one's- gon na-
62
wan na- know ya! Our Mum She Don't wan na- know she says,
Middle65
I'm feel ing- twice as old she said. Thought she had her
68
head on her shoul der.- 'Cos I'm feel ing- twice as old er-
71
I'm feel ing- twice as old - er
74
You're an em bar- rass- ment.-
Slow
Segue
84
Grandad
Good Joe Emmo
Lewis Emmo
Emmo + Lewis
Dialogue
Q to cut - Clown: "...Uh-huh."
Q - Joe: "...and say that I'm areformed young offender."
Everyone
6a. Embarrassment Playoff – TACET
6b. Baggy Trousers (Underscore) – TACET
6. Embarrassment20
Re
f
ceived- a let ter- just the oth er- day We've had se cond- thoughts a -
q. = 152Slightly faster q. = 160
bout that a larm- sys tem.- We had a mi nor- break in- Thurs day- night, so er...
4
Per haps- you might like to give me a quote for....
7
Ooh wah Aah
11
15
Ooh wah. Ooh wah.
18
Ooh wah. Ooh wah.
Q - Joe: "Ap ap ap!"
Bad JoeHeather
7. Embarrassment (Reprise - Encouragement Version)
Sales Reps
(spoken lines, no rhythm, after 'wah's)London Alarms Boss
Here he is. The rising star, Joe Casey.
As District Manager here at
London Alarms, let me congratulate you on your recent sales figures. Fourteen is a
21
He's an en cour- age- ment-
22
A liv ing- en dorse- ment.- The pro mise- that
25
he has shown This is the start of a long term re la- tion- ship.-
28
Ooh wah Aah
accel.31
Instrumental - swing feelFaster q = 17037
53
Ooh wah Aah
rall.59
He's an en cour- age- ment.- Ooh wah.
Slower63
new company record.
Sales Reps
Tpt / Sax Q
Sales Reps (slide)
7a. Baggy Trousers / Our House (Underscore) – TACET
7. Embarrassment (Reprise - Encouragement Version)22
I've been dri ving- in my car it's not quite a Jag u- ar.-
q =122Verse 1
I bought it in Prim rose- Hill, from a bloke from Bra zil.-
8
It was made in fif ty- nine- in a fac tory- by the Tyne.
13
It says Mor ris- on the door, the G. P. O. owned it be fore.- I drive in it for my job the
17
Guv e- nor- calls me a slob but I don't real ly- care. Give
20
me some gas and the o pen- air.
Bridge23
It's a bit old but it's mine, I mend it in my spare time.
Middle28
Just last week I changed the oil the rock er- valves and the coil. Just last week he changed the oil.
31
Last week it went round the clock I al so- had a lit tle- knock
34
Q - Billie + Angie: "Goodbye."
Good Joe
8. Driving in My Car
Lewis Good Joe
Sax solo
Joe
Emmo + Lewis
Good Joe, Emmo + Lewis
23
I dent ed- some bo- dy's- fen der- He learnt not to park on a ben der- ha ha ha.
39
42
62
I've been dri ving- in my car It don't look much but I've been far.
Verse 266
I drive up to Mus well- Hill. I've e ven- been to Sel sey- Bill.
69
I drove a long- the A for ty- five- I had her up to fif ty- eight.
73
I like dri ving- in my car.
77
He likes dri ving- in his car. Don't look much but I've been far. Don't look much.
93
God I love this car!
96
Good Joe Emmo + Lewis Billie
(Tpt / Sax)
Good Joe
Joe
Billie + Angie Good Joe + Sarah Billie + Angie "Full stop."
Good Joe
8. Driving in My Car24
Why can't I ex plain?- Ev ery- thing- I say
he does n't- un der- stand- he does n't- re al- ise.- He takes it all the wrong
rall.10
way He's been dri ving- in his car.
q = 180Swing - feel
It is in deed- a Jag u- ar.- It says V 8 on the door.
6
Fin ish,- trim, and a cor ri- dor.- Cli mate- con trolled- au to- ma- tic- 'ly.-
11
Underscore rall.15
Sarah3
8a - I. My Girl - Reprise (Ballad Version)
Dad + Sarah
Dad
8a - II. Driving In My Car - reprise
Salesman: "Here we are sir, I thinkyou'll like this one, it's a twin carbfour litre petrol-engined... Joe
Dad Salesman
(Tpt) Dialogue (Drums)
Q - Joe: "...I give you." (Cym crash)
3
8b. After Driving In My Car (Cocktail Piano) – TACET
25
Ooh Aah Ooh
q = 160
The
mf
e qua- tion- starts sim ple,- but in the long run,
q = 15611
Aah
gets hard er- to re cog- nise- rain from the sun.
15
Wrong tur ning- right
q = 15219
All I wan ted- was a word
28
As you stand where I once stood
36
Q - Sarah: "Depends if you're into that."
B.V.
8c. Simple Equation (Reprise)
Joe's Dad
Dad: "Good turning bad?"
Joe: "It'd pay for a DJ" Dad Reecey: "Not your fault you can't get a job."
Dad
Reecey: "Not your fault yourdad doesn't own a distillery."
26
It's
f
the days that sep a- rate- the night.
43
Days
f
that sep a- rate- the night.
The sha dows- by which we re cog- nise- the light.
47
Sha dows- by which we re cog- nise- the light.
Underscore rall.
Dead segue
50
Dad
B.V.
9. The Return of the Los Palmas Seven – TACET
8c. Simple Equation (Reprise) 27
I tell you I did n't- do it 'cos
q. = 151 Verse 1
I was n't- there, don't blame me, it just is n't- fair.
12
Don't lis ten- to his side, just lis ten- to mine.
15
Can't think of a sto ry,- sure you'll find me some time.- Now pass the blame
Chorus17
and don't blame me. Just close your eyes and count to three.
20
One two three. Then I'll be gone and you'll for get.-
25
The bro ken- win dow- T. V. set.
29
It was n't- me ei ther- I'm just his mate
33
Q - Joe: "How brilliantly life would have turned out.(Thunderclap.)Copper: "Get the little scumbag!"
Reecey
10. Shut Up
Coppers Reecey
Good Joe
28
He told me to stand here and watch the gate. I've got a wife and three
Verse 237
kids you know. They'll tell you I'm straight at least I think so
40
I'm as ho nest- as the day is long. The long er- the day light- the
43
less I do wrong. Now pass the blame and don't blame me.
Chorus46
Just close your eyes and count to three.
49
One two three. Then I'll be gone and you'll for get.-
54
The bro ken- win dow- T. V. set.
57
One two three
Underscore Watch for Cut-off on visual punch61
Reecey
Good Joe Reecey
Reecey + Joe
10. Shut Up – 11. Tomorrow's Just Another Day / The Sun and the Rain 29
Doo
gradual cresc.
by- doo, doo by- doo doo doo. Doo by- doo by- doo by-
q = 136 X4
doo doo doo. Try ing- hard I thought I'd done my best
8
All my life I can't get no rest.
12
Down and down there is no up I think that I've run out of luck.
17
I hear them say To mor- row's- just an oth- er- day. I hear them
Chorus21
say And it gets bet ter- ev ery- day. I hear them say To mor- row's- just an oth- er- day.
24
To mor- row's- just an oth- er- day. Walk ing- now O ver-
27
Q - Dad: "No, no, no. Don't hit a copper. Never hit a copper!"
Prisoners
11. Tomorrow's Just Another Day
Prisoners
Good Joe Prisoners Good Joe
Prisoners Good Joe Prisoners
Good Joe
10. Shut Up – 11. Tomorrow's Just Another Day / The Sun and the Rain30
cov ered- ground. There is a chance if I
31
move a round.- I need
gradual cresc.
a mo ment- to re flect-
35
On the friend ships- I have wrecked. I hear them
Chorus 39
say To mor- row's- just an oth- er- day. I hear them say And it gets bet ter- ev ery- day.
42
I hear them say To mor- row's- just an oth- er- day. To mor- row's- just an oth- er-
45
Ooh wah
49
If black is white an' night is day And paths we take
Ooh
52
stretch far a way- How can we e ver- hope to call.
Good Joe + Prisoners
Girls B.V.
Dad
10. Shut Up – 11. Tomorrow's Just Another Day / The Sun and the Rain 31
wah
55
Which will rise and which will fall? It's rain ing- a gain,-
A crack in the clouds re veals- blue
58
skies, I've been feel ing- so low But now ev ery- -
61
thing is on my side, the sun and the rain. Walk with me fill my
64
heart a gain.- I feel the rain fall ing- on my face
68
I can say there is no bet ter- place than stand ing- up in the
71
fall ing- down In so much rain I could al most- drown.
74
I hear them say To mor- row's- just an oth- er- day. I hear them
A77
(Dad)
Bad Joe
3
Bad Joe +Sarah
3
Prisoners
10. Shut Up – 11. Tomorrow's Just Another Day / The Sun and the Rain32
say And it gets bet ter- ev ery- day. I hear them
80
say To mor- row's- just an oth- er- day. To mor- row's- just an oth- er-
82
I hear them say To mor- row's- just an oth- er- day. I hear them
B85
Doo by- doo doo by- doo doo doo Doo by- doo by- doo by-
say And it gets bet ter- ev ery- day. I hear them say To mor- row's- just an oth- er- day.
88
doo doo doo. Doo by- doo doo by- doo doo doo
I feel the rain fall ing- on my face
C91
Doo by- doo doo by- doo doo doo
To mor- row's- just an oth- er- day.
Bad Joe +Sarah
10. Shut Up – 11. Tomorrow's Just Another Day / The Sun and the Rain 33
I can say there is no bet ter- place than stand ing- up in the
94
Doo by- doo by- doo by- doo doo doo. Doo by- doo doo by-
And it gets bet ter- ev ery- day.
fall ing- down. In so much rain I could al most- drown. I
97
doo doo doo Doo by- doo by- doo by- doo doo doo.
To mor- row's- just an oth- er- day. And it gets bet ter- ev ery- day.
feel the rain fall ing- on my face I can say there is no
D100
Doo by- doo doo by- doo doo doo Doo by- doo by- doo by-
I hear them say To mor- row's- just an oth- er- day. I hear them
3
(div.)
10. Shut Up – 11. Tomorrow's Just Another Day / The Sun and the Rain34
bet ter- place than stand ing- up in the
103
doo doo doo. Doo by- doo doo by-
say. And it gets bet ter- ev ery- day. I hear them
fall ing- down. In so much rain I could al most- drown.
105
doo doo doo Doo by- doo by- doo by- doo doo doo.
say To mor- row's- just an oth- er- day. I hear them say. And it gets bet ter- ev ery-
I hear them say To mor- row's- just an oth- er- day. I hear them
E108
say And it gets bet ter- ev ery- day. I hear them say To mor- row's- just an oth- er-
111
To mor- row's- just an oth- er- day.
End of Act One
114
3
Prisoners
Omnes
10. Shut Up – 11. Tomorrow's Just Another Day / The Sun and the Rain 35
Instrumental
14
It's just gone noon half
28
past mon soon- on the banks of the ri ver- Nile. Here comes the boat on ly-
34
half a float,- oars man- grins a tooth less- smile. On ly- just one more to this
38
de so- late- shore, last boat a long- the ri ver- Nile. Don't seem to care no more,
42
Q - Foghorn
ACT TWO
12. Night Boat to Cairo
(Sax) (Tpt)
(Sax) (Brass) Dad
36
wind in his hair as he rea ches- his last half mile. The oar snaps in his hand be fore- he
46
rea ches- dry land, but the sound does n't- damp en- his smile. Just
50
prods the wet sand with an oar in his hand, floats off down the ri ver- Nile.
53
Floats off down the ri ver- Nile. Segue
56
12a. Night Boat (Vegas Underscore) – TACET
12. Night Boat to Cairo 37
Take time for your plea sure- and
h = 117
laugh with love Take the hand of a no- ther- and
11
sing for the wings of a dove woh woh
15
for the wings of a dove woh woh for the wings of a
19
dove Look up at the roof tops- whenyou're walk ing-
24
round. Don't think for a mo ment- of look ing- down.
28
woh woh for the wings of a dove woh woh
33
for the wings of a dove woh woh
38
Carib Combo
13. Wings of a Dove
Billie + Angie
All
38
for the wings of a dove woh woh
43
for the wings of a dove
47
le uj- -
UnderscoreUnderscore56
Hall le- - - - uj- ah.-
ah.
62
Hall le- - - - - uj- - -
le uj- - ah.-
68
ah.
Look up at the roof tops- when you're walk ing-
72
(div.)
Q - Bad Joe: " Could this day get any better?"
Carib Combo+ Gang
13. Wings of a Dove 39
round. Don't think for a mo ment- of look ing- down.
76
Ooh
80
A room at the top where we're not al -
Ooh
84
lowed Cheer to the e cho- can you hear the sound?
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
89
woh woh for the wings of a dove woh woh
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
94
for the wings of a dove woh woh
for the wings of a dove woh woh
98
13. Wings of a Dove 40
for the wings of a dove
103
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah Yeah yeah yeah yeah
112
yeah yeah Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah Yeah yeah yeah
119
yeah yeah yeah yeah. woh woh for the wings of a
126
dove woh woh for the wings of a dove woh woh
132
for the wings of a dove woh woh for the wings of a
138
dove woh woh for the wings of a dove
144
woh woh for the wings of a dove woh woh
149
for the wings of a dove woh woh
154
Everyone
13. Wings of a Dove 41
for the wings of a dove woh woh for the wings of a
159
dove woh woh woh woh woh woh
164
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. Woh.
170
Woh. Woh. Woh. Woh. Woh
177
yeah yeah yeah yeah woh
184
188
Ooh aah
204
Look up at the roof tops- when you're walk ing-
Ooh aah
208
round. Don't think for a mo ment- of look ing- down.
Trumpet
13. Wings of a Dove 42
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
213
woh woh for the wings of a dove
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
217
woh woh for the wings of a dove
woh woh for the wings of a dove
221
woh woh For the wings of a dove
Half speed rit
Dead segue
225
13. Wings of a Dove 43
Ar ling- ton- House ad dress- no fixed a bode-
q = 122
an old man in a three piece- suit sits in the road.
9
He stares a cross- the wa ter- and sees right through the lock,
13
but on and up like out stretched- hands his mum bled- words, his fum
17
bled- words mock. Sur round- ed- by his past on a short white line
21
he sits while cars pass ei ther- side. Takes his
25
time he's try ing- to re mem- ber- one bet ter- day.
29
a while a go- when peo ple- stopped to hear him say:
34
Dad
14. One Better Day
Good Joe + Dad
Dad
44
Walk ing- 'round you some times- hear the sun shine-
38
beat ing- down in time with the rhy thm- of your shoes.
42
She's try ing- to re mem- ber-
Underscore46
one bet ter- day. A while a go- when peo ple- stopped
60
to hear her say Walk ing- 'round you some
64
times- hear the sun shine- beat ing- down in time
67
mp
The feel ing- of ar -
71
with the rhy thm- of your shoes.
mp
The feel ing- of ar -
Good Joe
Dad
Joe (upper) / Dad (lower) Male chorus (harmony)
Joe
Boys B.V.
14. One Better Day 45
riv ing.- When y've no thing- left to lose.
rall.75
riv ing.- When y've no thing- left to lose.
Aah
[Scene change] rall.Slow q = 90
78
Walk ing- round you some times- Hear the sun - shine Beat ing- down in time
Slower82
with the rhy thm- of your shoes. Segue as one
87
Girls B.V.
Kath
Dad: "You are right in my shoes now, golden boy."
Dad: "I stood here afterI'd come out of prison."
Dialogue
14. One Better Day46
I re mem- ber- way back then when ev ery- thing- was true and when
Slow, colla voce
we would have such a ve ry- good time, such a fine time, such a
2
hap py- time. I re mem- ber how we'd play, simp ly- waste the day a way.-
4
Then we'd say no thing- would come be tween- us two drea mers-
6
Good Joe
14a. Our House (Reprise)
Dad
Cutoff Q - Mr Pressman: "Kath? Kath?"
47
These are the streets I used to walk
Slow rall.
Colla voce
on sum mer- nights sit out and talk that's the house where I
9
used to live We used to live
rall.q = 122
12
where chil dren- play they'd leave their homes a mile a way-
17
to come and stand in trees and grass where we once walked the mem ories- last.
20
Be ing- here a gain- I can re call- for got- ten- mo-
Chorus - Double Tempo24
ments- the rise and fall. This is the town
Tempo I29
I won't for get- and af ter- an ger- there's no thing- left
34
Q - Kath: "That's all the proof I'm gonna give ya, you bastard."
Good Joe
15. Rise and Fall
Good Joe
48
walk ing- now round and round fa mil- iar- sights
37
are o pen- ground. Be ing- here a gain- I can re call-
Double Tempo40
for got- ten- mo ments- the rise and
44
Aah
Tempo I48
fall. The sun shines East,
Aah
51
the sun shines west, but I know where the sun shines best
Ca sey- Street in the af ter- noon once a gain- it's o ver- too soon.
Dead Segue
54
All
Good Joe
,
,
All
3
15. Rise and Fall 49
Good morn ing- miss. Can I
q = 128
help you sir? Yes I'm meet ing- Mis ter- Press man.- He said half past nine. My
11
name's Joe Ca sey.- From Las Ve- gas,- cer tain- ly,- this way please.
14
Good morn ing- miss. What? I'd like to speak to Mis ter,- is it-
23
Press man?- Right. Sit through there, don't touch the plants, and
(shouts)
I've count ed- all those mag a- zines.-
28
Come in. Joe Ca sey.- Mis ter- Press man.- From Las
31
Ve gas.- That's right. My pro té- gé- pro per- ty- de ve- lop- er.- It's
36
[ = explosion / thunderclap ]
House of Fun
Bad Joe Julie
16. House of Fun / Rise and Fall / My Girl
Bad Joe
Julie
[ ] Good Joe Julie Good Joe
Julie
[ ] (Knock) Pressman (Shut) Pressman Bad Joe Pressman
Bad Joe Pressman Bad Joe
50
in the blood. My fam 'ly- were all build ers.- Well you're gon na- make them real ly- proud.
38
A lit tle- sto ry- Joe. This old es tate- we're build ing- on.
41
Coun cil- owned, we can boot them out. One house seems to be a lit tle-
rall...44
re luc- tant.-
Pause 2nd X only48
Ooh
gradual cresc.
Ooh
57
"And in the East, a new son will rise." Pic ture- this Joe. There a -
Aah
60
cross Cam den- skies. Press man- Ca sey.- On Fri day- the first.
Pressman
Joe: "God, I hope Ican - I mean..."
Our House
Pressman
"But, slight spanner in the works"
Q - Joe: "I'll do this by Friday the 1st."
Rise and Fall
B.V.
,
Pressman
3
,
16. House of Fun / Rise and Fall / My Girl 51
If that witch is out of Ca sey- Street.
Slower q = 12863
Joe Co sey.- Ca sey.- Ca sey.- Come right in please do. Tell me
71
what you want. That's what I'm here for. Off you go. Right. Look I
74
may have got this wrong last night, but I thoughtI o ver- heard- some plans for
76
Ca sey- Street, now.... My wife's mad at me I did n't- want to
78
see the film to night.- She finds it hard to take.
81
She thinks I've had e nough- of her. Why can't she see?
84
She's love ly- to me. But tra gi- cally-
87
not as nice as Ju lie- in re cep- tion- who's nine teen.-
91
Q - Joe: "No." [ ] (Knock)
Pressman Good Joe Pressman
Good Joe
My Girl Pressman
3 3
16a. Scene Change (Underscore) – TACET
16. House of Fun / Rise and Fall / My Girl 52
I have watch'd you climb up, saw you come a live-
In 2Colla Voce
From ver' y humb le- beg in- nings- in N W 5
5
I have heard you come up be liev- ing- your own lies
9
Wit nessed- the bless ing- rise up in a ver y- strange dis guise-
13
Though you have be come- a burd - en One thing re mains-
16
that's for cert ain- I will love you all my life
20
But with out- you in my life I would give you
23
ev r'y- thing For just that smile you bring For just that
27
Q - Sarah: "You earn support, Joe. You don't marry it."
Sarah
17. NW5
53
song to sing I would give you ev r'y- thing
31
For just that smile you bring For just that song to sing
36
I watched you grow up Onl y- to des pise-
q = 14841
Saw the mad ness- stack up through tar pau- lin- eyes
45
Though we face the fin al- cur tain- One thing re mains- that's for cert ain,-
49
I will love you all my life But with out- you in my life
53
I would give you ev r'y- thing For just that smile you bring
57
For just that song to sing I would give you ev r'y- thing
62
Dad
Sarah
Sarah + Dad
17. NW554
For just that smile you bring For just that song to sing
68
73
I would give you ev r'y- thing For just that smile you bring
89
I would give you ev r'y- thing For just that smile you bring
Ev r'y- thing- - - For that
94
For just that song you sing I would give you ev r'y- thing
song you sing
100
For just that smile you bring For just that song For that
For that smile for that song for that smile
105
smile For that song For that smile
Sarah
B.V.
3
17. NW5 55
for that song for that smile
110
For that song For that smile
For that song you sing For that smile
114
For that song
3 3
17. NW556
Re ceived- a let ter- just the o ther- day.
q. = 175
Young man wants help with some mis sing- house deeds I gave him a note of our
7
us u- al- fees. And he says he has n't- got a ny- mon ey.-
10
Good bye.- Hel lo?- You're not to come see us no more.
13
Keep a way- from our door. Try Har per,- Smith
17
Mas sey- in Hamp stead.- Slight ly- small er,- young er,- cheap er.-
20
To tal- bas tards,- these big time de ve- lo- pers.- They just
23
Q - Sarah: "I would give everything." (She goes.)
Clerk
17a. Embarrassment (Reprise - Law Firm)
Barrister Good Joe Clerk
Harper
57
think mo ney- just buys them the right And con nec- tions,- and pow er,- they
27
think mo ney's- ev 'ry- thing.- And the thing is I've no mo ney- to fight them.
30
Well then you're not to come see us no more.
33
Keep a way- from our door. Try that le gal- aid place
37
Cam den- High Street. Used to be the El ec- tric- Rhi no- sex shop.
40
On the one side, mul ti- mil- lion- pound de ve- lo- pers.-
43
On the o ther- a bloke on le gal- aid.
Slower51
Smith Massey
Good Joe
All 3 Lawyers
Smith
Harper Massey
Harrassed Small-time Lawyer
17a. Embarrassment (Reprise – Law Firm)58
Can you raise a fi -
2nd X rall.
nal cur - tain? One thing re mains,- that's for cert - ain
10
I will love you all my life with out- you in my life.
rall13
rall q = 146 Underscore X417
It's the
1. 2.35
sim ple- e qua- tion- of wrong ver sus- right. The ter ror- of stand ing- one
47
Q - Good Joe: "The night I hit Callum I said I wished I'd never met you."
My Girl Joe: "No-one deserves tobe happy more than you."
Sarah
17b. UnderscoreMy Girl / NW5 / Simple Equation
(Hi-hat)
Simple Equation
Dad
59
Ooh
p mp50
North Lon don- night. Think ing- you'd cho sen- to run the right way, and
wa wa wa wa wa
sub cresc.
wa wa wa wa Aah
53
now watch ing- right go ing- wrong.
sub cresc.
White go ing- grey. Show me now,
which way's high? Is
ff
that the sky?
56
which way's high? Is this the Earth? Is that the sky? And if I knew
If things were clear.
60
if things were clear, could I e ven- make him hear?
B.V.
3
3
17b. Underscore (My Girl / NW5 / Simple Equation)60
I ne ver- thought I'd miss you half as much
q = 130
as I do And I ne ver- thought
8
I'd fell this way the way I feel a bout- you
14
As soon as I wake up ev 'ry- night, ev 'ry-
18
day I know that it's you I need to take the blues a way.-
24
It must be love, love, love. It must be love,
Chorus28
love, love. No thing- more, no thing- less,
33
love is the best. How can it be that we can
37
say so much with out- words.
41
Q - Good Joe: "The company's called Pressman's." (Dialogue continues simultaneously with the music.)
Sarah
18. It Must Be Love
Sarah
Good Joe
61
Bless you and bless me bless the bees and the
47
birds. I've got to be near you ev 'ry- night,
51
ev 'ry- day I could n't- be hap py-
57
an y- oth er- way. It must be love, love, love.
61
It must be love, love, love. No thing- more, no thing- less,
66
love is the best.
Underscore71
I've got to be near you ev 'ry- night, ev 'ry- day
89
I know that it's you I need to chase the blues a way.-
93
3
Joe + Sarah
Joe + Sarah
18. It Must Be Love62
It must be love, love, love. It must be love,
96
love, love. It must be love,
101
love, love. It must be love, love, love.
108
It must be love, love, love. It must be love,
113
love, love. No
sub mp
thing- more, no thing- less.
Slight rit.117
Love is the best.
121
Q - Good Joe: "Right. I didn't know. That's very sad."
TACET
18a. Tag after scene
18. It Must Be Love 63
It's rain ing- a gain,- A crack in the
q. = 136
clouds re veals- blue skies, I've been feel ing- so low
8
But now ev ery- thing is on my side the sun and the rain
11
walk with me fill my heart a gain.- I feel the rain fall ing-
15
on my face I can say there is no bet ter- place.
18
Than stand ing- up in the fall ing- down In so much rain I could
21
al most- drown. Who
f
will buy my In di- an- joss sticks.
24
In cense- burn ers- di rect- from Ne pal.-
27
Q - Good Joe: "Could this day get any better?"
Good Joe
19. The Sun and Rain Reprise (Stallholders)
3
3
Stallholder 1 (Male)
64
Who
mp
will buy my In di- an- joss sticks. In cense- burn ers- di -
29
Such
f
fine of fen- sive- T shirts- Rude words ob -
rect from Ne pal.- Who will buy my In di- an- joss sticks.
32
scene de signs.-
mp
Such fine of fen- sive- T shirts-
Look
f
at my wide range of ex o- tic- bath soaps
In cense- burn ers- di rect- from Ne pal.- Who will buy my
35
Rude words ob scene- de signs.- Such fine of -
made from some things- you would nor mal- ly- eat. Look
mp
at my wide range of
Ripe
f
Stallholder 2 (Male)
Stallholder 3 (Female) 3 3 3
3 3 3 3 3
Stallholder 4 (Male)
19. Sun and Rain – Reprise (Stallholders) 65
In di- an- joss sticks. In cense- burn ers- di rect- from Ne pal.-
38
fen sive- T shirts- Rude words ob scene- de signs.-
ex o- tic- bath soaps made from some things- you would nor mal- ly- eat.
can na- bis- ripe.
Who
f
will buy my In di- an- joss sticks. In cense- burn ers- di -
41
Such
f
fine of fen- sive- T shirts- Rude words ob -
Look
f
at my wide range of ex o- tic- bath soaps made from some thing- you would
Ripe
f
can na- bis- ripe.
rect from Ne pal.-
big cresc44
scene de signs.-
nor mal- ly- eat.
3 3 3 3
3
Ensemble
3 3 3 3 3
3
3
19. Sun and Rain – Reprise (Stallholders)66
I
f
feel the rain fall ing- on my face I can say there is no
48
bet ter- place. Than stand ing- up in the fall - ing down
52
In so much rain I could al - most drown.
55
Underscore (Dance of Camden Market)58
Faster q = 16476
cresc.Build88
It's rain ing- a gain,- it's rain ing- a gain,- it's rain ing- a gain,- it's rain ing- a gain,- it's
92
rain ing- a gain,- it's rain ing- a gain,- I feel the rain fall ing-
rall. Slow cakewalk95
Good Joe +Marketeers
3
(Brass)
(Brass)
Good Joe +Marketeers
(whisper) ,
19. Sun and Rain – Reprise (Stallholders) 67
on my face I can say there is no bet ter- place.
98
Than stand ing- up in the fall - ing down In so much rain I could
101
al most- drown. It's rain ing- a gain,-
104
I'm hear ing- it pit ter- pat ter- down. It's wet in the street
109
re flect- ing- the lights and splash ing- feet. No where- to
112
go. And no thing- I have to do.
116
I feel the rain fall ing- on my face I can say there is no
132
bet - ter place. Than stand ing- up in the fall - ing down
136
In so much rain I could al most- drown. Doo by- doo, doo by-
139
3
Bad Joe
3
(Dialogue)
Marketeers
3
19. Sun and Rain – Reprise (Stallholders)68
doo doo doo. Doo by- doo by- doo by- doo doo doo.
142
Doo by- doo, doo by- doo doo doo. Doo by- doo by- doo by- doo doo doo.
145
The sun shines east The sun shines
149
Doo by- doo, doo by- doo doo doo. Doo by- doo by- doo by-
west But I know where the
152
doo doo doo. Doo by- doo, doo by- doo doo doo.
sun shines best Ca sey-
155
Doo by- doo by- doo by- doo doo doo. Doo by- doo by- doo by-
Street in the af ter- - noon-
158
doo doo doo. Doo by- doo by- doo by- doo doo doo.
(Marketeers div.)
19. Sun and Rain – Reprise (Stallholders) 69
Once a gain- it's o ver- too soon. Aah
ff161
ff want
Aahmp
mpted- was a word, a phot o- graph-x2
Underscore
165
Aah
ff
Aah
to keep All
(tacet 6th x)
I
Aah
ffx6171
Aah
ff
(hum)
p
1. 2.rall.176
(hum)
p
3
(in church)
19. Sun and Rain – Reprise (Stallholders)70
And sud den- ly- wrong turns back to right Black turns
slow ly- back to white Skies all sud den- ly- come clear.
rall.4
We see how we got to here.
7
mp
I need a mo ment- to re flect-
16
on the friend ships- I have wrecked.
rall.
Segue
19
Q - Sarah: "No matter how much you love someone,Joe, there's times in life you can't say yes."
Dad
19a. Simple Equation (Reprise)
Dialogue (Judge)
Bad Joe
71
6X 1-5 6
3X - Slower
14
Now we face the fi - nal cur tain?-
1.2. 3.20
One thing re mains- that's for cert ain- I will love you all
25
my life but with out- you in my life.
Dialogue break28
Our house in the mid dle- of our street. Our house in the mid dle- of our
36
Our house is our cas tle- and our keep. Our house in the mid dle- of our
40
20. Primrose Hill / Our House (Reprise)
Q - Sarah: "Photograph!"
Clarinet: 1st X only
Kath: "And Casey Street will bewherever you two build it.!"
Dad + Good Joe
Q - Emmo: "Smile."
Everyone
72
Wel come- to the house of fun. Wel come- to the li on's- den.
44
Our house in the mid dle- of our street. Our house
Wel come- to the house of fun now I've come of age.
47
in the mid dle- of our Our house in the mid dle- of our
Wel come- to the li on's- den temp ta tion's- on his way. Wel come- to the house of
50
street. Our house in the mid dle- of our Our house
fun now I'm come of age Wel come- to the li on's- den
53
in the mid dle- of our Our house
In the mid dle- of our street.
56
in the mid dle- of our street.
Sarah: "Where d'you go whenyou can to anywhere?"Joe: "Let's go dancing."
20. Primrose Hill / Our House (Reprise) 73
7
14
19
f
24
29
34
1. 2.39
(Brass)
21. Bows
(Keys 2 - Harmonica / Vibes)
Sax Solo
(Brass)
74
Our house in the mid dle- of our
(Band Bows) q = 12345
street. Our house in the mid dle- of our Our house
49
is our cas tle- and our keep Our house in the mid dle- of our
52
Wel come- to the house of fun now I'm come of age
55
Our house in the mid dle- of our
Wel come- to the li on's- den In the mid dle- of our street.
57
Our house in the mid dle- of our street.
Our House
21. Bows 75
"One Step Beyond"q = 152
7
13
18
25
45
Oh what fun we had but at the time it seemed so bad.
(Baggy Trousers)52
Try ing- diff erent- ways to make a diff erence- to the
58
(Sax pickup)
22. Encore / Play Out
(Sax solo)
Company
76
Oh what fun we had but at the time it seemed so bad. Try ing- diff erent- ways to
75
make a diff erence- to the Ba ggy- trou sers- Ba ggy- trou sers-
X3 gradual cresc.78
Ba ggy- trou sers- Na na na na Oi!
Last x Rall81
1
TACET
End
Play Out
22. Encore / Play Out 77
A P P E N D I X - M U S I C A L N U M B E R S W R I T E R / P U B L I S H E R C R E D I T S
RETURN OF THE LOS PALMAS SEVEN Words and Music by Michael Barson, Mark Bedford and Daniel Woodgate © Copyright 1980 by EMI Music Publishing Ltd.
OUR HOUSE Words and Music by Christopher Foreman and Cathal Smyth Copyright © 1982 by EMI Music Publishing Ltd. SIMPLE EQUATION Words and Music by Christopher Foreman and Graham McPherson Copyright © 2002 by EMI Music Publishing Ltd. MY GIRL Words and Music by Michael Barson Copyright © 1979 by EMI Music Publishing Ltd. BAGGY TROUSERS Words and Music by Michael Barson, Christopher Foreman, Graham McPherson, Cathal Smyth, Daniel Woodgate, Lee Thompson and Mark Bedford. Copyright © 1980 by EMI Music Publishing Ltd. EMBARRASSMENT Words and Music by Michael Barson and Lee Thompson Copyright © 1980 by EMI Music Publishing Ltd. DRIVING IN MY CAR Words and Music by Michael Barson Copyright © 1982 by EMI Music Publishing Ltd. SHUT UP Words and Music by Graham McPherson and Christopher Foreman Copyright © 1981 by EMI Music Publishing Ltd.
THE SUN AND THE RAIN Words and Music by Michael Barson Copyright © 1983 by EMI Music Publishing Ltd. TOMORROW’S JUST ANOTHER DAY Words and Music by Cathal Smyth Michael Barson Copyright © 1982 by EMI Music Publishing Ltd. NIGHT BOAT TO CAIRO Words and Music by Michael Barson and Graham McPherson Copyright © 1979 by EMI Music Publishing Ltd.Publisher: Carlin Music Corp. WINGS OF A DOVE Words and Music by Graham McPherson and Cathal Smyth Copyright © 1983 by EMI Music Publishing Ltd. ONE BETTER DAY Words and Music by Graham McPherson and Christopher Foreman Copyright © 1984 by EMI Music Publishing Ltd. RISE AND FALL Words and Music by Graham McPherson and Christopher Foreman Copyright © 1982 by EMI Music Publishing Ltd. NW5 Words and Music by Michael Barson, Christopher Foreman, Mark Bedford, Graham McPherson, Lee Thompson, Daniel Woodgate and Cathal Smyth. Copyright © 2007 by EMI Music Publishing Ltd. IT MUST BE LOVE Words and Music by Labi Siffre Copyright © 1971 by Groovy Music Ltd. / Chrysalis Songs Ltd.
